The More Things Change
by calliopechild
Summary: The chance of a lifetime turns the Turtles' world upside down. New doors are opened, old ones are closed, and suddenly, anything is possible. But as they soon discover, no matter how far you run, you can't escape your past...
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer**__: I don't own the Ninja Turtles. I'd love to, but I don't, and I probably never will. And because I've pretty much run out of creative ways to tell people just how much I don't own the Turtles, I am officially declaring this a blanket disclaimer. If you ever need to reassure yourselves that I don't own the guys, and I'll never be able to subject them to the events in my stories, feel free to just refer back to this disclaimer. :D However, just so you know, I do own the OCs in this story, of which there will be a few._

_New story! I've actually been working on this baby for a while, planning and writing and trying to convince myself to actually post it and finish it, so here we go. It's been a while since I've done a multi-chapter fic, so I hope I can get back into the swing of things pretty quickly, and I really hope you all like this. I love all my readers, so I'm doing my best to make this one of my best stories ever and I'll try and update as frequently as possible. I'll warn you now, you'll be in for a long haul, 'cause this is gonna be a long story. Slow to start, but it'll pick up, trust me. I'm excited to write this, 'cause I don't have it all the way finished, so I'll be reading it along with you guys, and I'm excited to see exactly where it goes. I really hope you guys enjoy this, and please bear with me with the issue of verb tense; this is the first story I've ever written in first person, so if some of the tenses get a little wonky, I hope you'll forgive me. I'll also try and keep perspective jumps to a minimum. (And just so you know, there will be a few spoilers to the Ninja Tribunal arc and the Fast Forward arc, but nothing major, since I have been unable to watch all of either arc. :b)_

_Other than that, I can't think of anything else. So without further ado, on to the story!_

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**Donatello  
**

I've always found it odd that the day your life changes, you usually never see it coming. The sense of something about to happen, the signs people say they see or feel coming: 'something in the wind', 'a red sky at morning', 'just a feeling'…it's rather sketchy to my scientific mind. My brothers and I were probably some of the people most trained to sense things coming, and we still got blindsided frequently. You just don't wake up on a life-changing day and know that something is going to happen and that your life will never be the same.

It just doesn't work like that. Fate, I've come to discover, prefers surprises.

The day that my life changed along with my brothers, things started as they always did. We all got kicked out of bed for practice at an ungodly hour (like usual) by Leo, who had already been practicing for a least an hour (like usual), and then went down to the dojo to kick the crap out of each other and have our crap kicked out of us in turn (like usual). Just an average day at the Hamato household.

Once things stopped aching enough for me to be able to move right, I hobbled over to my lab to check my email and the stats on the various security features I'd set up in and around our home. It was more of a cursory action than anything else, because after our time with the Ninja Tribunal and the fiasco in the future, the past year and a half had actually been fairly quiet; the Dragons were regrouping after Hun's death (he died in a fire, of all things, something Casey found rather fitting), and relations with the Foot were somehow holding steady in a rather tense "out of sight, out of mind" sort of peace. But vigilance had become second nature for all of us after twenty-one years, so I checked our home security every day regardless. After I moved past that, I glanced through my email, checking my various cyber-sources for anything new or threatening in the science world or New York respectively. One message in particular popped up, and opened into a vid screen as soon as I clicked on it.

I blinked and jumped as Professor Honeycutt's face flashed onto the screen. "Greetings, Donatello. I do hope I am not catching you at a bad time."

"No! It's great to hear from you!" I assured him, grinning; it was always nice to hear from him, and to stay up to date with how he and the Utroms were doing. "How are you, Professor Honeycutt? Are you doing well?"

"Indeed I am. I hope that you and your brothers and Master Splinter are doing well also."

"We're doing fine. It's actually been pretty quiet lately, so we've been able to relax a bit. And over there? Is everything okay?"

"Oh my, yes. Things are going very well indeed. In fact, that is why I have contacted you, because things have been going so very well. I am calling on behalf of the Utroms, with what they—and I myself, I must add—hope you will find to be an agreeable proposition."

I blinked. "A proposition? About what?"

"How would you and your family like to be human?"

I can honestly say that my heart skipped a beat at that moment. I couldn't believe what he'd just said. Part of me wanted to yell at him, to tell him that it wasn't even remotely funny, taunting me like this. Then I realized that this was Professor Honeycutt, who didn't have a malicious bone—okay, technically _any_ bones, but still—in his body, which meant…

He was serious?

My mouth went dry. How could he put it so simply, so casually? _'How would you and your family like to be human?'_ How could he ask it like that, like he was asking if we'd like to go out for ice cream or visit over the summer? How could he not realize that he was asking the equivalent of 'how would you like life to be easy for once?', or 'how would like to not live in fear of discovery, imprisonment, torture or death every day of your life?'

It was impossible. It was incredible. It was…

My hearing must have shorted out at some point, because when my mind stopped whirling enough for me to process my higher brain functions again, I caught Professor Honeycutt in the middle of talking, sounding as guilty and upset as an android could.

"—dear oh dear, I _have_ sprung this on you rather suddenly, haven't I? Rather callous of me. I _am_ sorry, but I did think it might be best to just get it out there, as it were, but—oh bother, I am doing this all wrong. Here, I shall have someone else explain it to you better."

Professor Honeycutt shifted out of the view port for the vid phone, and a moment later, the face and torso of a dark-haired man filled the screen. All of my instincts flared—years of fearing discovery, of avoiding humans as much as possible had instilled a natural reaction of fear in me whenever I saw a human face. I leapt out of my chair, my hand darting out to hover over the power button. Even if I had been seen, I could at least cut the connection before the human could see enough of the room to guess where we were. "Who are you?"

A warm smile lit the man's face. "Why, Donatello, my friend, I'm hurt. Don't you recognize me?"

I blinked several times. That voice…the way the man had said my name…why did it seem so familiar? I frowned, trying to think past the instincts that screamed about hiding and getting out of sight. Why would Professor Honeycutt and the Utroms risk our safety by revealing us to a human? Answer: they wouldn't. Was it one of the Utroms we'd met, in a new 'body'? Except, the man had said 'my friend'…and that voice…

The voice clicked and my breath left me as easily as if I'd been punched in the gut.

"Leatherhead?"

The man laughed, a deep, kind laugh I knew so well. "Yes, my friend. How do I look?"

"You…_how_? You said you were going out of town for a break. How is this possible?" I sat back down, leaning close to the screen. "Is it a hologram? It's flawless, if it is; I mean, the overlay didn't even glitch when you laughed. How did you…?"

"Deep breaths, my friend; I shall explain."

I nodded, sitting back and grabbing a pad of paper and a pen; I wasn't going to be able to take all of this in at once, I could tell, but I was still determined to catch everything.

"Now then. As you mentioned, I did say that I was going out of town, but I failed to mention just how far. I have been with the Utroms for the past week."

"I think space definitely counts as 'out of town', LH," I grumbled good-naturedly.

Leatherhead chuckled. "Indeed. Out of state might have been more appropriate, but we—myself and the Utroms—wished for this to be a surprise. I am sorry I startled you. Allow me to explain what has been taking place. You are, of course, familiar with the ooze that mutated us? Well, that ooze was created as part of an experiment. In the early years, our friends the Utroms spent much of their time after landing on Earth observing their surroundings and their new neighbors. As time passed and the Utroms spent more time on this world, they began to see where things would go, how far the destruction could spread if humans continued treating the animals and environment of the world as they had. They had seen it before, and knew how ravaged the planet would become if humans were not shown what their actions would result in. It was around the time of the Industrial Revolution, when expansion and development truly took off. So they decided to give Earth's creatures a chance to speak for themselves."

"So the ooze…was meant to do this?" I asked, gesturing to myself. "It wasn't a freak occurrence?"

"This was its purpose, a chance to let the animals tell humans what they were being put through. It worked exactly as it should. But before they could implement it, something happened to stay their hands."

I frowned, nodding as I continued jotting down notes. "Saki."

"No. Hitler."

I blinked, looking up at Leatherhead in confusion. "Hitler?"

"Yes. The experiment was completed, fully tested and approved only a few years prior to the Second World War, and they had actually been about to implement it when the war broke out."

"That short of a time?" I gasped. "They were able to create such—such technologies and processes in only a few decades?"

"They are remarkably advanced, Donatello, even more than what you have seen. This project was only one of many such undertakings." Leatherhead's expression grew regretful. "Unfortunately, as I said, it was stopped when the war broke out and the Utroms saw what humans were doing to each other."

"The persecution of the Jews…" I breathed. "It makes sense," I said, thinking as quickly as I could. "How could they in good conscience introduce walking, talking animals into the world and expect them to be accepted when by all appearances, humans refused to even accept their own kind?"

"Exactly. They refused to submit the creatures they mutated to the care of such people."

"So the project was aborted."

Leatherhead shook his head. "Not so. Merely…postponed and reevaluated."

I frowned. "Reevaluated?"

"The Utroms did not believe that the idea behind the experiment was flawed. They realized instead that humans just weren't ready for what they had planned. So they decided to take the plan a step further: they created a secondary ooze, this one to cause mutant to human mutation. That way, they would still give the animals the chance to speak out for themselves, but in the guise of humans. It worked marvelously."

"That's not possible…" I murmured.

"I assure you, it is. In fact, some of the first test subjects were the ones to found such organizations as PETA and the ASPCA."

I blinked, confused at his words, then shook my head. "That's not what I meant. I meant the mutation would be impossible. The DNA would be too unstable from the first mutation to hold up under another…especially one so complicated!"

Leatherhead smiled broadly and spread his hands—pale, normal, _human_ hands. "Then you are speaking to an impossibility, my friend."

"I don't believe it…" My pencil dropped to the desk from limp fingers. "What's it like? Why did you choose to make the change?"

"It is incredible. It was very strange at first, adjusting to such a different form." He chuckled. "The first week, my balance was atrocious; I hadn't realized just how much I depended on my tail for balance. Also, I am shorter, as seven-foot humans are not that common. And having hands and fingers…it is a fascinating experience." He waved his hand at me and chuckled. "Quite novel. As for why…there were several reasons. Safety, primarily. To be human, to be permanently free from the interest and grasp of men like Bishop is a great relief. Also…I am less of a threat this way. My temper is still a dangerous thing, my friend, though I have better control of it thanks to Master Splinter and yourself and your brothers. As a human, I can do far less damage than I could in my original form; I am less of a risk to those dear around me."

I smiled; that was definitely Leatherhead. Only he would undertake such a massive change with the intent of keeping others safe. "What does it feel like? Not just being human, but moving in a human body?" I couldn't help staring; part of me still thought it was a trick, but it was Leatherhead's voice, his way of talking, his mannerisms…just in a human body.

Leatherhead smiled wryly; it was so fascinating to see him with the ability to make such expressions. "Both more and less different than I expected. I am still myself, but I feel a greater freedom in movement than before. The five fingers are a welcome blessing, as is the change in size. I no longer have to worry about breaking all that I touch."

I laughed. "Always a nice thing." I stared at him some more, unable to keep from smiling. "This is just so incredible…I wish I could see their research." My brain itched at the thought; this was science dozens of light years ahead of human science. The kind of knowledge they had to have to make such a thing possible…

"What about experiencing it firsthand?" Leatherhead asked with a smile, raising his eyebrows.

He had eyebrows. _Fascinating_…

"This is what they wish to offer you, Donatello, you and your family, as a thank you, a returning of the favor, if you will. They have not forgotten the great service you did their people—and indeed, the universe—when you stopped the Shredder; they wish to repay your sacrifice."

A lump suddenly formed in my throat, and I swallowed hard. Such a chance…I'd stopped dreaming about such chances long ago. And now…now it was right in front of me. To be human? To live in the daylight and walk down the street and not fear for my life or that of my family? To finally be granted access to all of the learning and opportunities I'd always been denied? It was too good to be true.

Leatherhead's smile faded slightly as my silence dragged on. "Do you not want this, Donatello?"

"No!" I all but shouted at him, and lowered my voice with a wince. "No, I—I mean, _yes_, I do, more than anything, it's just—how would it work?" I could feel myself deflate slightly. "I don't mean the process, but the result? We would have to create histories, fabricate entire past lives for ourselves…and I just don't have the resources. Even _I_ can't hack into the Social Security database and create identities for us."

"I wouldn't be surprised if you could," Leatherhead laughed, "but you won't have to. You would have help. Mortu and his companions spent many years on Earth, and have many connections. In fact, some of their fellows are still in hiding on your planet; not all of them left during the TCRI incident. Many remain, and some hold positions in such places as the Social Security Administration; after all, when they were on Earth, they too needed to create identities. They wish to offer help in that aspect as well. What do you say?"

"Yes! Shell yes. When could we start? Give me a minute, and I'll go get Master Splinter and—" I leapt out of my chair, only to stop short. "Master Splinter."

"Is something wrong?"

I sat back down heavily, chewing on my recovered pencil. "Master Splinter. I'd have to convince him that this would work, that it's safe, that it would be better…"

Leatherhead frowned slightly. "Would that be so difficult? You have proof of the success and safety of the transformation in me; I underwent the change nearly a month ago, and have been closely monitored, as well as perfectly healthy. The Utroms have tested this process as thoroughly as possible, and tested the secondary mutagenic formula on samples from you and your brothers they had on hand from when they rescued you from the Shredder's spaceship; they wanted to make sure it was possible before extending the offer. And as for being better, you would not be…'freaks,' would no longer be recognizable or particularly distinguishable as humans. You would no longer be hunted or targeted; you would be so much safer, a strong point that I am sure Master Splinter would greatly appreciate…as any father would."

"I know that, but…you know how important honor and history are to Sensei. If we were to stop our patrols, stop protecting the city—and we'd have to, because we'd be too easily identifiable with IDs and records—he might see it as us shirking our duties. And, well…we are ninjas. That is our way of life, our _life_, who we are…and being human is about as opposite as you can get from that."

His face a study in contemplation, Leatherhead nodded slowly. "I can see how that might upset Master Splinter. But Donatello… as ninjas, what better way to hide than in plain sight?"

I blinked, then smiled broadly. "Leatherhead, you're a genius!" I grabbed my notepad again and scribbled that line down, as well as everything else he had argued in favor of this. "That's a good one to use…Leatherhead, I would really appreciate it if I could get your help on this, on putting together an argument to convince Master Splinter. Are you anywhere near Earth? I'm guessing you had to board one of the Utroms' ships to perform the change…" I shook my head. "I never guessed you meant it so empathically when you said you were going out of town for a while."

"Indeed," Leatherhead replied with a grin. "We are actually right outside Earth's orbit."

"Excellent. I'll want to bring you in when I talk to Master Splinter. I'll need the backup."

"Why not ask one of your brothers?"

My pencil gained a few more teeth marks as I thought it over. "Good point," I agreed. "I can probably drag Leo away from his training long enough to talk to him…"

"Leonardo?" Leatherhead's brows knit together.

I frowned back at him. "Yeah, why?"

"I mean no offense, I merely expected that you would have appealed to Michelangelo or Raphael instead," Leatherhead confessed, cocking his head to the side. "In my experience, Leonardo is just as cautious as your father regarding major changes and undertakings, though that is by no means a bad thing."

"No, it isn't. But see, that's why I want to go to him first. I know I would have Raph and Mikey's support; it's Leo who's the challenge. If I told Raph and Mikey about this first, they would push too much. They'd just barge in on Sensei and start demanding and begging respectively. That's the wrong way to go about it. For something like this, we need a carefully structured argument. That's where Leo comes in. I know I can work out the particulars, and if I can convince him, I actually have a chance with Sensei. Harsh as it sounds, Leo's support carries more weight with Master Splinter than Mikey and Raph's."

"Considering some of the ventures they have proposed in the past, I can't imagine why," Leatherhead laughed. "Come then, shall I help you craft this unassailable argument of yours?"

I jumped up and shut the door to my lab, flipping on the "Caution: Experiments in Progress" sign I had installed years ago for privacy. Grinning and cracking my knuckles, I sat back down and grabbed my keyboard.

"Let's get to it."

* * *

It took both less and more time than I expected for Leatherhead and I to gather all the information and arguments that we could think of; we finished at about seven o'clock at night two days after I first got the call from Professor Honeycutt. I had gotten lucky that it was a weekend and we didn't have daily practice. We talked almost around the clock, pausing only for meals and sleep, and even those breaks were inconsequential for me. I would grab whatever was closest in the kitchen, or sometimes find food outside of the door of my lab, probably left by Mikey or Leo, who were well-used to my tendency to forget about food when something more important had caught my attention. As for sleep, I caught four or five hours each night at best at my desk or the cot in my lab, and it was far from restful. My mind refused to stop racing, and I'd eventually give up and stumble back to my desk, scribbling down additional ideas or angles to cover. I went at it like an experiment, wracking my brain to come up with any possible downside that Leo or Master Splinter might think of, and formulating solutions to any problem. I researched and browsed and talked with Leatherhead endlessly, until we were both finally satisfied with the argument we could make and the information we had accumulated.

As I made a final note, I groaned and stretched, flexing my hands in a feeble attempt to get them to un-cramp and unlock from their clawed positions. I nudged a dangerously teetering pile of papers further away from the edge of my desk and peered at Leatherhead on screen with strained eyes. He looked as rough as I felt, and I marveled tiredly at how used to seeing him as a human I already was. "I think that's everything, LH," I croaked, making a face at the dry roughness of my throat.

Leatherhead nodded wearily, brown eyes blood-shot and fatigue-clouded like mine. "Indeed. When will you…speak to Leonardo?" he asked, interrupted by a yawn.

I grimaced at the thought of any more talking…or thinking. "Not until tomorrow. I'm just about useless right now. I'm going to take a walk, eat—something, and then go to bed." Part of me suddenly wanted to giggle deliriously at the thought my bed, but I pushed it away. It half-worked; I ended up instead with a grin that I just _knew_ looked stupid and more than a little manic. I'd pulled more all-nighters than this before, harder ones and in more rapid succession, but none in which I'd put as much energy and intent and…hope. "I need to recharge before I go at this, and I should show everyone I'm still alive, too."

"A wise plan," my friend commented. "One I think I will undertake myself. I wish you a good night, Donatello, and good luck tomorrow. Call me with whatever news you receive, my friend; I shall keep my fingers crossed."

"All ten of them!" I gasped suddenly, absurdly proud of my witty, witty joke.

I'm ashamed to say that we both laughed entirely more than was necessary at that.

Leatherhead made a face at our reaction. "Go, my friend. We risk embarrassment or being institutionalized if we do not remove ourselves soon."

"To hear is to obey," I intoned giddily, waving goodbye as I shut off my monitor.

I turned off my consoles and the lights, and stumbled out of my lab intent on the kitchen. I'd missed dinner, and now that I could think of something other than the Utroms' news, I was starving; I could only hope that someone had saved something for me.

"He emerges."

An amused voice hit my ears and I turned to see Leo standing behind me with a plate of food. My stomach rumbled loud enough that even he heard it, and quirked a smile. "Good to see you too, Don."

I grinned sheepishly. "Is that for me?"

He nodded. "I was going to bring it to your lab, but since you came out on your own, why don't we go to the kitchen? You could use some human contact, and it'd be nice to have someone to talk to."

His words made me blink in surprise; Leo didn't normally seek me out for casual conversation all that often, though he still came to me more than anyone except Master Splinter. I smiled. "Sure. What's up?"

Leo started for the stairs, and I tottered after him, my eyes on the plate. "Nothing, really. I'm just hoping for some company. Sensei is meditating, and Raph and Mikey are…out."

'Out'. Stated in Leo's Disapproving Voice™ with that particular inflection must mean… "With Casey?"

Leo's mouth quirked up wryly. "Yeah. And considering they left with a "don't worry" and a "don't wait up"…it doesn't bode well for what their intentions for the evening consist of."

I snorted. It also meant that Leo would be ignoring them completely, and waiting up the whole night worrying. These days, he still waited up whenever one of us was out late (normally Raph), but once he sensed us approaching the Lair, he would make his way up to his room and be in bed by the time the Lair door opened. We all still knew that Leo had been waiting up, but, especially in Raph's opinion, it was nice not to see him sitting in the den looking ready to pick back up where the Spanish Inquisition had left off. I groaned as we sat down at the table, smiling my thanks as Leo placed the plate and a glass of water in front of me.

"I know you'd rather have coffee, but I really think you should get some actual sleep tonight," Leo said, correctly interpreting my less than enthusiastic glance at the water.

I shrugged and tucked into the chicken noodle casserole in front of me. Still warm, and the breading Mikey always sprinkled on top hadn't gotten mushy yet. I moaned happily along with my stomach. "Have I ever mentioned that you're the best big brother in the whole world?" I asked Leo around another mouthful, fully appreciating the fact that he must have been keeping an eye on my plate and occasionally heating it in the oven since dinner so it would still be warm and edible.

Leo laughed. "Not nearly often enough," he joked, sitting down beside me with a mug of tea.

The scent wafted towards me, and I glanced at Leo sidelong. "Chamomile?" I asked, surprised, sniffing the air to make sure.

A tired look settled onto Leo's face. "Chamomile," he affirmed, taking a sip.

I frowned and turned back to my casserole. Leo normally drank green tea, and only pulled out the chamomile when he was having trouble sleeping, or with Raph (though the two were often related). I debated asking him what the most current problem was.

Raph and Leo had been getting along a little better in recent years, now that Leo had loosened up a bit, but they still clashed somewhat regularly. I had long suspected that Leo was just getting tired of it and letting arguments drop, or just keeping his mouth shut whenever Raph did something stupid. The latter was happening a bit more frequently, I suspected, which probably wasn't doing any good for Leo's health, sanity or sleep habits. I decimated the rest of my dinner and considered. These days, asking Leo what the problem was normally had a 40/60 chance of either getting the story out of him, or getting a quiet "nothing," respectively. I think he'd pretty much decided that there wasn't anything Raph had done that annoyed or worried him by this point that we didn't know about and stopped bringing it up. It had worked to convince Master Splinter that things were going better, but Mike and I weren't fooled. I remembered Leo's earlier comment about company and talk, and sighed, bracing myself. "What brought it on?"

Leo shook his head. "I could just really use a good night's sleep, that's all," he said quietly, watching the ripples in his mug. "Really."

I raised an eye ridge, surprised. Leo admitted to being tired about as often as he admitted to being injured: once in a blue moon, or only when it was so obvious to everyone else that he'd be lying if he tried to deny it. "Raph?" I hedged, going with the guess that was rarely wrong.

"Not any more than usual."

Well, that was helpful. "So…is it anything in particular, or just basic fatigue?" I pressed. Getting Leo to talk about personal matters was harder than pulling teeth, but I'd come to realize that being patient paid off, because letting Leo bottle things up didn't help anyone.

Leo drank some more and gripped his mug, cradling the ceramic between both palms. "It's…Don, what you need to understand is that I don't get visions."

I blinked. Well, _that_ certainly came out of left field. "Okay…"

"I'm not advanced enough. I can get feelings, but not clear visions like Master Splinter. I had an…almost-vision, I guess, back in Japan. It was when Karai attacked the Lair. It wasn't anything clear or distinct, but I could sense that I needed to get home."

That was news to me. None of us could figure out how Leo had managed to come home just at the right time, right when we needed him most, and so we just chalked it up to the weird kind of luck/skill Leo had all the time. But that he had gotten a…spiritual or mental warning or whatever, well, that caught my interest. Master Splinter was the only one who was able to receive visions, and while the rest of us could sense danger and various other things, we hadn't gotten any farther than that. I generally didn't place any stock in visions, but after the past few years…I'd learned to be a little less skeptical. "You never mentioned that," I remarked, carrying my plate to the sink before reclaiming my seat.

"I didn't think I needed to. Things were so busy after I got back, and then I just…forgot."

"Mm. So, back to this 'you don't get visions, but you get feelings' thing. What brought that on?" My mind finally reached the obvious reason for why Leo was bringing this up, my fried synapses only mildly restored by my meal. "Did you have one?"

Leo glanced back into his mug, as though expecting the tea to tell him what to say. "I…think so. These things are just so vague, though…and I try not to dwell on them and give them precedence when _I_ don't even trust them. But whatever it is, it was kind of strong."

"What'd you feel?"

"I felt…oncoming change; I guess that's the best way to describe it."

My breath rushed out like someone had punched me. I wanted to say something, to see if I should try and run with this and tell Leo about the Utroms' offer now, but it still didn't seem like the right time. "Anything else?"

Leo shook his head. "Just a feeling of change. There wasn't the sense of danger or urgency I had when I was in Japan; this was different, just like a…a foreshadowing awareness, I guess. It was the same feeling I got when we were on the Tribunal's ship, when we first stepped onto the deck as acolytes and realized where we were…and the wind hit us and we were moving across and above the earth, and I just knew that we would be irreversibly changed by whatever came next."

I shivered suddenly, struck and moved by his words and my own knowledge that his 'feeling' was dead on. "So…not bad, but good change?" I pressed, trying to sound out where Leo stood on this.

"I…there wasn't really a qualifying feeling attached to it, Don," Leo replied softly, his gaze distant. "Change is itself. In and of itself, change is neither good nor bad, it just is; it's how we move with it and what comes along as a result that is good or bad." He trailed off, watching the ripples in his tea before shaking himself and smiling quickly at me. "Sorry, I'm rambling. It's probably nothing." He stood and finished his tea, then placed the empty mug in the sink. "Go get some sleep, Don, and I'll—"

"You don't think it's nothing, do you?" I asked. I had to get more out of him; I needed to know what he did. If this opportunity was going to endanger my family, then even if it killed me inside, I wasn't going to bring it up. "Something has you worried."

Leo sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "All change has me worried, Donnie," he confessed in a murmur. "More than it should, because we are supposed to flow with change rather than abhor it. It's just…change rarely ends well for us, and…complacency is safe, if not exciting. I can handle how things are now. I suppose part of me has been waiting for something to happen; ever since dealing with the Ultimate Shredder, and then going to the future…well, things have been a bit too quiet, given our track record. But you three…you need change, room to move. I'm aware of that. And Raph…"

Ah. Now we got down to it. Things that bothered Leo always seemed to come down to Raph eventually…it happened at least 95% of the time. "You think that whatever this change is, when it comes, Raph's just going to jump right on it."

Leo slumped, leaning against the wall. He hates being figured out, I think; he's used to being unreadable.

"He lives for change, for excitement, Don," he said softly. "I know he feels like he's been suffocating, slowly going insane lately…and I feel selfish, because part of me doesn't want this change, whatever it is, to come, because I can at least protect you all like this. But I know things have to change. We all need change; it's just a fact of life. If there is no change, there is no growth, no betterment. I just…things are finally something resembling civil between us, and if there's danger attached to this change, Raph won't care…but I will. And if I make myself an obstacle between him and the change approaching, I'll be the enemy again. Raph doesn't care much about danger or his own health; he's so desperate for something to happen these days that I think he'd take anything, so long as it was different."

"Raph does need action and change; he'll never be happy just existing, he always has to be really _living_," I said slowly, trying to articulate the things I had come to realize about my fiercest brother. "But no matter what, he always stands beside us." I tried for a reassuring smile. "Haven't you noticed, Leo? No matter how far he runs, he always comes back home."

Leo stared at me for several minutes, long enough that I wanted to ask what I'd said wrong, and then smiled softly. He pushed off of the wall and walked over, leaning down and resting his forehead against mine, one hand on my shoulder. "I don't know what I'd do without you around to point out all the things I always miss, Donnie," he said quietly, his voice full. "Arigatou, otouto."

I swallowed hard, trying to quell the sudden lump in my throat that had crept into existence at the warmth in Leo's voice. I wasn't used to such displays from my most reserved brother, and especially not such grateful ones towards me. All I could manage was to nod, and wonder when Leo had gotten so far away from us that things like this had become so rare and surprising.

We both jumped when Leo's bandana tails slipped over his shoulder to fall between us, breaking the moment. Leo smiled wryly, rubbing a hand across my head as he walked past. "Get some sleep, Donnie."

I turned to keep him in sight, suddenly missing the closeness, something that hadn't been so unusual when we were young. "Sure. I'm just going to go for a short walk, maybe just down to Leatherhead's and back."

Leo turned, cocking his head to the side. "I thought he was out of town?"

A slightly hysterical laugh threatened to choke me when he said that. "Oh, he is," I assured him. "I just want to…stretch my legs, so I figured I'd check on the place while I was at it."

"Alright." Leo headed for the dojo, then paused. "Don't be out too late?" he asked carefully, his voice hesitant.

I held up two fingers. "Scout's honor."

He smiled. "Thanks."

I waited until Leo disappeared into the dojo and the familiar sound of swords slicing the air started before I let my breath out in a shaky sigh and slipped out of the Lair, closing the door securely behind me. Of all the things I was expecting from Leo, his suspicion that something was coming wasn't one of them. I set off at a slow pace for Leatherhead's, to give myself time to think and to take it easy on my stiff muscles.

"_I felt…oncoming change."_

Oncoming change. If Leo had felt that, did that mean that he and Master Splinter were going to say yes, because he sensed that things would change? Or did it just mean that he felt the _possibility_ of change? I groaned. That was why I wasn't a fan of visions, as much as they were something Master Splinter urged us to strive for. Unlike clear-cut, scientific things like weather predictions, visions could mean anything. They could be exact glimpses of the future, or they could be vague images that required interpretation, which opened things up to be even more confusing, since various images could be interpreted in dozens of ways.

Give me a simple, concrete weather forecast or the precise, physics-driven plotting of a comet's course any day.

And yet…couldn't Leo's feeling somehow be helpful? He hadn't said it was bad change, just change, and given what he'd said about that and Raph, it seemed like he was hesitant to reject this change outright, though it didn't keep him from being on guard against it. I knew I had a strong argument for all of us making the change, and maybe he would be okay with that…I hoped. I knew basically every way Leo could feel about this chance, but not which way he _did_ feel about it.

My mind flipped suddenly, switching over to thoughts of Raph and Mikey. It hit me suddenly that I had spent so much time worrying about Leo's opinion, yet I hadn't spent hardly any time on what Raph and Mikey might think. I shook myself and kept walking, changing mental courses as I went.

What _would_ they think?

I still had no doubts that Mikey would be up for this. He was a people-person, no doubt about it, and he needed space and light and people. He'd calmed down considerably, but still, he was an active twenty-one-year-old, just like the rest of us, and he needed something new. I tried to think of any reason Mikey might not want to make the change, but other than the fact that we might drift apart as a result of not having only each other, I couldn't think of anything. I knew that would be a big thing for Mikey, that we stayed together, or at least constantly in touch. As much as we all drove each other insane, as much as we felt increasingly claustrophobic and desperate for new company, we all still loved each other. Mikey especially loved as easily as he breathed, and as fiercely as he fought; separation would kill him. I wanted to assure myself that he wouldn't have anything to worry about, since twenty-one years of depending on and living with each other wasn't likely to disappear, and yet…they might, just because of that. We were all getting stir-crazy these days; even Leo was taking more runs topside than he used to. It wasn't inconceivable that we would run from the old and towards the new, at least at first.

And yet…as strained as it got sometimes, I trusted our bond. We'd all come back together eventually, after trying out our wings; it was just a matter of when.

As for Raph…

I sighed, pausing to lean against a dry section of the tunnel wall and stretch my aching legs before continuing on.

Raph was the issue. Almost never in my life had I been able to successfully guess what Raph would think or do in a given situation or as a result of a given occurrence. He was just—too different from me. Where I was logical, he was emotional. Where I was cautious, he threw himself headfirst into things. Where I paused long enough to consider consequences, he paused only long enough to determine whether something was likely to be fatal. We wanted different things, supported different things. I'd skipped over him at first in all my planning regarding the Utroms' offer, assured of his support, but as I thought about it…_could_ I be certain he would take this chance?

Raph was very proud. Of all of us, he took being called things like 'freak' or 'monster' the hardest; not because it hurt his feelings, like it did with Mikey, but because Raph refused to let anyone judge him or make him feel ashamed of who or what he was. That was a big source of contention within him, I knew; he wanted to be part of the world above, but he knew we wouldn't be accepted, and yet he wanted to be accepted. It was an odd stance; it had taken me a while to fully understand that. He wasn't asking for approval, but acceptance. That was why he felt…oddly comfortable while fighting Purple Dragons with Casey; even if they didn't like him or approve of him, they accepted him as being an inescapable presence in their life, even if it was just as an enemy. It was a hair-breadth distinction for Raph, between acceptance and approval, and it was why he also felt so torn at home; he wanted both, especially from Leo, though he would never admit it.

And yet…as complex as Raph's wants and sense of self were…he wouldn't give up such a chance just because he saw it as caving or conforming, would he?

I slowed to a halt in front of the turnoff to Leatherhead's place, suddenly and inexplicably exhausted. As tired as I was from the past few days, Raph always seemed to further exhaust me. I _wanted_ to understand him, not just in the way that I wanted to understand everything, but because he was my brother. And yet, so much of what I knew about him was hard-won, and the rest of it was guesswork. There was so much Raph refused to reveal about himself; his defensive walls existed even around us, though he had to know that we wouldn't hurt him or take advantage of anything he shared with us.

I stared into the darkness in front of me, then sighed and turned for home. I finally had to face the realization I had been shying away from for the past few days:

I didn't know how any of my brothers would react.

I could make good, informed guesses that stood high chances of being correct, but…my brothers were not algorithms or equations. They were people…different, highly complex people who never ceased to surprise me, and they could (and probably would) react to this news in a myriad of ways.

One day, though…one day, I was going to sit them down and find out who they were. As much as I knew that I couldn't predict their reactions because they weren't machines, I couldn't help feeling that it was also because I didn't know them as well as I could and should. Mikey and I were close, but Raph and Leo…

I wanted to learn more about them, to get my questions answered, to find out what all they were hiding, and, as cliché as it sounds, who they really were and what they really wanted.

As I entered the code for the Lair's door and slipped back inside, I suddenly wanted to talk to my brothers _now_. I shook it off, knowing that now was not the time, not with two brothers gone and the other dealing with his own worries, but it lingered. Even though I knew much of my impatience was due to exhausted paranoia, I wanted to really know my brothers before they changed even more, before I risked losing them to distance.

Leo leaned out the door of the dojo and glanced around before seeing me. He smiled tiredly, and I could tell he was thinking _'one down, two to go'_. It comforted me to know that I could tell some things about what he was thinking, but like with Raph, I wanted to know everything.

There shouldn't be walls between brothers, right?

"Don?" Leo's voice was careful, and I knew that whatever expression was on my face, it was worrying him. "Everything alright?"

"Just tired," I responded. I offered a weak smile in return, heading for the stairs before I started blurting out random questions. I'd be talking to him tomorrow, and hopefully I could start there. "I'm heading to bed. You should too."

"I'll be up in a little while," Leo responded. "Goodnight," he offered, before ducking back into the dojo.

I knew he was stretching the truth. I knew that 'a little while' meant 'when Mikey and Raph get home'. I knew he'd be practicing until they returned. And I knew he did it not because he didn't trust them, or Casey, or their skills, but because he _could not_ stop himself from worrying.

I knew all that…just as I knew there was more I didn't know.

My frustration wanted to flare up, but it was smothered by my exhaustion as I collapsed in bed. Soon, I promised the part of me with all the questions. Tomorrow.

It would all be different tomorrow.

* * *

Leo's absurd tendency to get up at disgustingly early hours actually worked in my favor the next morning. I somehow managed to stumble out of bed at about 8 a.m., beating Mikey and Raph by an hour, easily; practice wasn't for another hour, and I knew they wouldn't be up until the last possible minute. As Master Splinter had gotten older, we had pushed back practice, starting later so that he could get some more rest. We were all grateful for the change, though Leo generally ignored it and kept getting up at his regular time, at the 'butt-crack of dawn,' as Mikey so charmingly put it. I was grateful for it now, because it left me with a chance to talk to Leo alone, without any chances of anyone else overhearing.

I cornered him in the dojo (surprise, surprise) doing some warm-ups, and I coughed slightly to get his attention. I knew he had to have heard me coming, but I was getting antsy.

Leo finished the last steps of the kata, then looked over at me. "Morning, Don," he greeted me, his voice soft and slightly surprised. "You're up early."

"Yeah…" I locked my hands behind my shell to keep from fidgeting. "I actually wanted to talk to you about something…uh, alone. If you had the time."

He stared at me, and I could feel him searching for something in my face or eyes. I tried to quell my nervousness, but it was a moot point. Leo nodded slowly, sheathing his swords and bowing as the left the mats. His eyes were careful and appraising as he came to my side. "I always have time for you, Don. Lead on."

I could hardly breathe through my apprehension as Leo followed me into my lab and sat down. So much depended on what he said. I knew I'd have little hope of convincing Master Splinter to allow this if I didn't have Leo on board; having Leo on your side in any argument was a strong advantage. And Sensei tends to trust Leo's judgment a lot.

Go figure.

Leo sat down slowly, looking like he expected me to either jump him at any moment or reveal that I'm secretly the father of Karai's love-child. (A terrifying idea for _so_ many reasons.) He's always been eerily good at sensing other people's emotions; it makes him nearly impossible to prank or hide things from. Though to be honest, it couldn't have been very hard to pick up on my nerves. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down, but I just couldn't. I'd done so much research, spent so many hours talking to Mortu and Leatherhead and Professor Honeycutt about this, and, as much as I'd tried to remain detached and look at this as just a research topic, there was no way I _couldn't_ get my hopes up. The more I learned, the more possible this chance sounded. And the more I thought about it, the more my mind drifted to thoughts of a _real_ life; living topside, rather than just being a shady, uninvited visitor, actually getting to learn and immerse myself in science like I'd always wanted. I'd already built up so much hope in all of this…what if Leo said no?

…And what if he said _yes_?

"Don…?"

Leo's voice pulled me out of my musings, and I sat down quickly, facing him. "Okay." I cleared my throat. How the shell was I going to go about this? 'Hey, Leo, that feeling of yours that we talked about last night? Well, guess what?'

No. Definitely not.

"Okay. Just—just keep an open mind, okay?"

Whoops. Wrong thing to say; one of Leo's brows made a valiant attempt to climb right off his forehead, and his trouble sensors seemed to reach full alert Defcon Two at that question. "…Okay…"

"Okay. Um. I got a call from Leatherhead a couple days ago, the first day I was in my lab with the experiment sign lit all afternoon."

"What was the call about?" Leo asked cautiously.

I hesitated. There really wasn't a delicate or roundabout way to put this, so I took a deep breath and blurted it out as quickly as I could. "Leatherhead's human now, the Utroms changed him, and Mortu says we can be human too so I thought I'd ask you first because there was no way Sensei would say yes if you didn't agree so I just thought I'd bring it up."

Cue the overwhelming silence.

Oh. So _that's_ what it looks like when Leo's mind shatters.

"Um…" Leo's voice was shaky. "Okay, I—what?"

I took another breath and tried to slow down, pulling a pile of notes towards me as I continued. "Leatherhead explained it to me. The TCRI ooze that mutated us? It was only the first half of a process meant to turn animals into humans. Decades and decades ago, the Utroms saw what humans were doing to the planet, especially the animals, and decided that they should do something. So they created the ooze. It's a careful mixture of human DNA and chemicals with mutating capabilities. They planned to administer it to animals, to give them the faculties and capabilities to communicate with humans and tell them that they needed to mend their ways. But before they could really put it into action, the project was—put on hold, in a way."

"Why?"

"World War II. After seeing how humans treated their own, those who were only _slightly_ different from themselves, they didn't want to subject innocent animals to even worse treatment. However, they still thought the idea was sound, even if humans would only be ready for such a thing many years into the future. So they tested the ooze for several more years 'til they were able to get it to work perfectly, without a hitch, every time. Then they began to work on a secondary part to the process. The first ooze would change organisms from animal to humanoid, and the second ooze would change humanoid…"

"Into human," Leo whispered. He looked shaken. "How is this possible?"

"The Utroms are geniuses, and they're light-years ahead of us scientifically. They've tested it and perfected it, and it works because it's gradual," I explained. "The primary mutation changes the most important, intrinsic parts. Look at us; we went from being 100% turtle, to being about 60% human and 40% turtle. Our brains, our bipedal physique, and, from what I've gathered over the years, most of our organs and internal systems…they're all human in nature. The secondary mutation finalizes the process; it would complete the mutation that began with the ooze."

"Why now? Why didn't we hear about this earlier?"

"It wouldn't have worked before now. It's required for a certain number of years to pass between the two mutations to ensure that the DNA, the genes and body don't deconstruct."

Leo glanced down at his hands. "And…does it work?"

"It worked with Leatherhead. It's safe," I assured Leo quickly. "He was changed nearly a month ago, and they've been monitoring him carefully. Everything has gone perfectly. No adverse reactions, no demutation…it went fine. And Mortu said they tested the secondary part of the process on some samples of us that they had from when they rescued us from Shredder's ship, and according to their results—if we're interested—it could work with us, too."

I held my breath, waiting for Leo's response. He was just sitting there, as silent and still as if he were meditating. Come to think of it, I wouldn't have been surprised if he _was_; that seems to be what he does when things like this get dropped in his lap.

"Have you told Mikey or Raph about this?" Leo asked quietly.

I shook my head, holding my breath. It sounded like he was considering it. "No. I wanted to run it past you first. If…if you or Sensei were to turn this down—I didn't want to get their hopes up. I knew they would take it badly if I told them about this chance and then it didn't work out. But I knew you would be…pragmatic about it."

"Pragmatic?" Leo smiled wryly. "You mean I'm the grounded one, the stick-in-the-mud. I'm too realistic to have hopes or dreams, so I wouldn't be hurt if a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity showed up and then slipped through my fingers?"

"What?" I felt like I'd been slapped in the face. Where did _that_ come from? "No, I just—"

Leo leaned back, staring at the ceiling. "Don, I used to dream just as much as you three."

"Why'd you stop?" I blurted out suddenly, any idea of caution blown away by my shock at Leo's words. As much as I was worried about answering Leo's questions, I had my own that needed answering as well.

A tired smile lifted Leo's lips. "I didn't have time for it anymore. There were skills to polish, a family to protect, an ever-growing number of friends that we'd pulled into our messes to look after, enemies to deal with…I had more important things to think about. Patrol routes, battle strategies, which enemies were eliminated, which ones were still a problem, what needed to be improved on…dreams had to take a backseat. Especially one like this, since there was no possibility of it ever being a reality. Sure, it's a nice fantasy, Don, but I haven't seriously considered it since I was about twelve."

I just stared at him. It's—painful, how every time I think I know Leo, I find out that there's yet another part of him that's been hidden from me, from _us_…especially when it's something like this. This is a dream that I've always known that Raph, Mikey and I have held to, tightly or loosely, and now I find that even Leo has thought about it…and then discarded it because it wasn't likely to ever come true.

Sometimes I wonder if Leo remembers what it's like to be a kid…if he ever knew.

"Leo, that's exactly what a dream _is_," I pointed out softly. "It's a hope or a fantasy. It doesn't have to be realistic; that's why it's a dream."

"I know, Don, but—" Leo sighed and looked down awkwardly. "It's hard to be a kid and a leader. One of them had to take precedence…and being a good leader is more important than getting to be a kid with a dream."

I reached out hesitantly and gripped Leo's shoulder. "I'm…I'm sorry, Leo."

He shook his head. "Don't apologize. It's not your fault. I've made my own choices. And it was just a dream."

"Dreams aren't "just" anything, Leo. They're important. And this…this is a dream that could come true," I said carefully; I could tell it was weird for Leo to discuss this, and I was trying not to get depressed by the newest example of my brother's sacrifice for us. If he turned this down…I knew what it would do to me, but what about him? I didn't want to think that there was more he thought he could give up in his pursuit of being the perfect leader.

Leo stared at the papers in front of us. "Don, this sounds…amazing, it really does, and I would—like it if it could be an actual possibility, but…how could it ever work? Not the process, but in a practical sense. There would be no record of the people we could be ever having existed in this world, and we can't just steal five other people's identities. If we suddenly appeared in society, what would people think? Beyond that, how would we make a life?"

"I've got it covered." I tried to hide the excited shaking of my hands as I pulled my notes closer; if he was asking such a question in the first place, it meant he might actually be considering it, not just humoring me. "Okay. There have been lots of cases where people haven't actually been members of society until later in their lives. It could be for religious reasons, preferences of the parents, anything; there are people who have lived half their lives completely off the radar of society and the government. It wouldn't be that strange for us to claim the same. We could put together a story that wouldn't even be that far from the truth. Our father was reclusive, a very private man by nature, who was raised in the old ways and lived in some backwater place out of the city—all true. We were all adopted, kids from off the streets or orphans that fell through the cracks of child welfare. It's not unheard of." I thrust a handful of papers at Leo.

He took them slowly, paging through what I knew were stories of young men and women who joined society for the first time in their teens or twenties, finally escaping the tyrannical or just overprotective rule of their parents to go see the world. "And then what?" he asked blandly.

"We wanted our own lives," I said, pushing ahead. "Our father was good to us, but we wanted to live our own lives. We had to wait until we were eighteen because he was still our legal guardian, and after that, we were just getting him used to the idea and preparing to strike out on our own."

Leo glanced up at me, looking seriously off-balance. "You've thought all of this out?"

I nodded vigorously. "All of it. Birth certificates and Social Security numbers wouldn't be that much of a hassle either; we just explain our past and then apply for them. We'll tell them that we never had them before, the certificates _or_ the numbers, because we never knew our real parents—which is completely true," I pointed out, knowing how Leo feels about lying. "And Leatherhead said that some of the Utroms' kindred are still here on Earth, working in departments like the ones we'd have to visit, so we'd have help getting any awkward questions smoothed over."

"What about—"

"Jobs?" I asked, pushing another sheaf of papers at him; it was a wonder I didn't have paper cuts yet. "Also not a problem. There are tons of entry-level positions everywhere, and I _know_ that we are more than qualified for those."

Leo handed the papers back to me after a quiet minute, his face still that careful, blank mask he wears when he doesn't want anyone to know what he's thinking. "We have no experience, Don. Not just with previous jobs, but actual schooling."

"We've been home-schooled by Master Splinter," I countered. Sensei had always considered it important that we be accomplished mentally as well as physically, and had taught us as well as he could. I'd never heard Leo question that before.

"I mean, we've never gone to any kind of school, let alone graduated. No one would accept an education history like that."

I grinned. "Have you forgotten the GEDs already?"

Leo blinked in realization, then smiled slightly. "I've tried, but it was…too memorable an experience."

A couple years ago, New York had been hit with an extremely bad winter, so we had all moved up to Casey's grandma's house to escape the frigid cold of the foundry. While we were there, I managed to convince Leo and the others to test for their GEDs since they had nothing better to do. (I'd taken the test years ago when I was bored, so I helped serve as a tutor and coach…and punching bag, when Raph and Mikey realized what I'd gotten them into; Leo just glared a lot.) They'd all passed, and Sensei had kept the certificates safe (and framed) since then, extremely proud of all of us.

"GEDs are just as acceptable as regular high school diplomas. And lots of people are of the opinion that home-schooled kids actually do better than many at public schools, so no one would even care that our father had taught us." Setting the papers down so that I wouldn't twist them in nervousness, I tried to grin confidently at Leo. Was he buckling, or was I just imagining it?

"Where would we live, Don?" He asked quietly, waving a hand around us. "We can't put the foundry's address on job applications or driver's licenses. And we can't impose on Casey or April in such a fashion…not after they've already done so much for us."

Can't. He said can't. _Can't_, as in the present, I-might-be-considering-this-as-an-actual-possibility tense, not _couldn't,_ as in the hypothetical, I'm-only-having-this-discussion-to-humor-you tense.

"We could live at Casey's grandma's place," I countered. Leo frowned slightly and opened his mouth, but I bulldozed over him; if I didn't get my entire argument out soon, I was just going to bypass it and start begging rather pathetically. "If he'd let us, of course. Which I have very few doubts he would, if we asked. The house is old and gets water from a well, it doesn't have central heating or air, and the electricity runs on a generator. We wouldn't cost him anything. We could clean it up some more, and I could find another electric generator, and fix up the piping. It's already habitable because of how often we've gone up there after one fight or another, and we could get it into even better condition. And it'd only be temporary to begin with, just until we found jobs and could afford a place of our own. Or places of our own, or whatever."

Leo sat back, folding his arms. "All of this is riding on a bunch of ifs, Don. What if we can't get birth certificates and Social Security numbers? What if we can't find jobs?"

"We can and will. Mortu and all the other Utroms were full members of society, and Mortu said he can guarantee we can get any identification we'd need. As for the jobs…we all have very good chances. We're educated, physically adept, and none of us are afraid of hard work—well, except maybe Mikey, but for a chance like this, I _know_ he'd work his shell off." I swallowed and made my final point of sale. "This could _work_, Leo, I _know_ it could. It's the chance of a lifetime, a chance for a real life. Our life now…it's at a standstill. We're just—just stagnating down here, waiting for the next megalomaniac to come along and give us something to do. We've given this city and its people over half of our lives, and so much more. We've more than done our duty—our _self-appointed_ duty; it's time we got a break. We've done almost all we can for the city, and eliminated lots of threats. And we'd be a lot safer; five people among millions, Leo, with nothing unusual about us to catch the attention of people like Bishop, the Purple Dragons, or the Foot. What better way to hide than in plain sight?"

"I…" Leo's calm façade was slipping. I could have sworn that I saw something that looked suspiciously like either hope or fear in his eyes, or maybe both. He looked at me. "Why didn't you say anything last night, when we talked?"

"About what you sensed?" I clarified. When he nodded, I shrugged slightly, feeling guilty. "I wanted to wait so that maybe you'd be…a little more receptive. And I didn't want to bring it up last night, because we were…" I trailed off, trying to think of a way to put it that wouldn't embarrass me terribly. 'Because we were actually talking?' 'Because I realized I missed you even when we've lived together for all our lives and I didn't want to scare you off?' 'Because I didn't want to ruin the moment?'

Leo somehow managed to guess what I was thinking, or see it in my face, because his expression softened almost into a smile for an instant. It cleared quickly though, and then he was eyeing the piles of paper with trepidation. "Don, this…this is so huge. I need to think about it."

I nodded. He would think about it! "If you have any questions, just let me know."

"I will," he assured me. He stood and slipped out of the lab, and I heard the door of the Lair open and close just seconds later.

My breath flew out in a sigh, and I could feel myself deflate as the tension bled out of me. I shoved my papers weakly into something that resembled a neat stack, trying to control the shaking in my hands. It hadn't really set in just how much I had already come to care about this until I watched my hands shake and felt my heart drumming against my plastron.

I reached out and tapped a few keys on my keyboard, bringing up a vid screen and linking it to the signal Leatherhead had given me. It took a few minutes, but the screen finally blinked from black to white, then to Leatherhead's face. He looked tense and expectant as he gazed at me. "Well?" he asked, not saying anything else.

"He said he'd think about it," I explained.

Leatherhead sighed, seeming to lose some of the tenseness in his muscles as well. "Well. If nothing else, it is certainly better than outright rejection of the idea." He gave a tired half-smile. "What will you do now, my friend?"

I shrugged listlessly, completely spent now that it was over. "Wait, I guess. Give Leo a few days to think things over, and figure out somewhere to hide all my notes so that no one else stumbles across them prematurely."

"I wish you luck," he offered, stifling a yawn. "If I think of anything else, I will let you know."

"Thanks, LH," I said, smiling back. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate your help in this."

"Donatello, with all that you and your family have done for me, it is the least I could do for you. Do let me know as soon as you have Leonardo's answer."

"Like I wouldn't be bursting to tell someone anyways," I drawled teasingly. We said our goodbyes, and I turned my monitor back to sleep mode, then realized I might as well do the same for myself. Leo had made a run for it, and almost certainly wouldn't be back until it was time for practice. No one else was up, and I had no real compulsion to do anything but go back to bed for as long as possible. I stacked my papers together, then wheeled my chair over to the bookcase and pulled out a large medical textbook. Flipping back the top cover, I slid the pages out and replaced them with my notes, then slid the original book pages to the back of one of my desk drawers. I'd come up with this idea a while ago, when I'd realized that locked drawers only encouraged Mikey; he always figured that anything locked away was _exactly_ what he needed to be messing around with. However, this way, my notes would be hidden and look like nothing more than a book on human psychology…one of the last things Mikey would be interested in reading about.

I pushed the book back into its place on the shelf, staring at it silently. Part of me wanted to tell Raph and Mikey about this chance, because I so badly wanted to talk to a brother who was as excited about this as I was…but I couldn't. I had promised myself that I would give Leo time, nagging-free time to think about this, and that was a promise I intended to keep. I was asking him to basically obliterate his comfort zone with this proposal, so in turn, I would keep it just between us, and be as patient as I possibly could be.

Which wasn't going to be much, admittedly.

I sighed and made my way to my room, determined to spend what remained of my free time trying to sleep.

Patience was a virtue, I reminded myself as I stared at the pipes crisscrossing along the ceiling above my bed. I snorted and rolled over on my side. Who was I kidding?

Leo had two days tops before I went crazy.

**

* * *

**

**AN: So? What do you think? :D I am so excited and nervous to be putting this out here, 'cause I so want people to like it. There have always been a few story ideas that I have considered a rite of passage/necessity to try out, and a 'turtles-turned-human' is one of those. It's going to be a big project; I only hope I can do it justice. ^_^;; As for my take on it…I just got to thinking one day about that ooze, and a little voice in my head (there are a few of those. :b) just went "why did the Utroms have vials of that mutating ooze just lying around? Why did they create it in the first place?" I wanted a realistic reason for it all, and for how the guys would get human; weird, I know, wanting realism as I write about humanoid turtles, but there you go. Hopefully you guys liked it, 'cause I write for my readers as much as I write for myself.**

**On that note, I need a little bit of help from you guys. I'm still kind of sitting on the fence with Leo, since he's being stubborn; what kind of job do you guys think would be best for him? I would love to get some input from you, my lovely readers, because it's definitely going to affect how the story goes. I've got a couple ideas, but I'd like to hear a few more if anyone can think of some good ones. Leo's being tight-lipped and won't say anything, but I refuse to let him get out of it so easily, so I'm turning to you guys. :D Help me out, please!**

**Anyways, there it is; another fic, for the readers of the best fandom out there. :D If you love me, please leave a review! It lets me know I'm doing something right. Constructive criticism is always appreciated, as is blatant love. XD Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer**__: See previous chapter._

_First off: I'M SO SORRY! I absolutely did not mean for it to take this long for me to update, but I just couldn't help it! I have been dealing with computer problems for the past week or so; my computer kept shutting down while I was in the middle of working on the story. I finally gave in and took it into the shop, so now my computer is gone and I've been ferrying the story around to different computers via jump drive. . Keep your fingers crossed that nothing serious is wrong, and that I get my baby back soon. :b_

_I apologize if the pace is chafing anyone, but this should be the last slow chapter for…the rest of the story,most likely. ^_^;; It will get crazy from now on, so just bear with me._

_Also, thanks very much to everyone who reviewed the first chapter: __**Eridani23, Suifox, KriStALKaLEi, Myth-Laureate, The Enormous Orange, read1, Angel 362, **__and __**Demi4yah**__. I really appreciate the support, especially at the beginning of a new story; it's nice to know that a few people think I'm off to a good start._

_I think that's everything; you guys are in for another long chapter. There's a bunch more introspection, and a few different POVs this time, all of which are clearly marked, so hopefully it won't get confusing. There's some language in this one, but nothing too bad let me know if you think I should up the rating, though. And…yeah. Enjoy!_

* * *

**Leonardo  
**

As soon as I left Don's lab, I went straight for the door of the Lair and slipped out into the sewer tunnels, running as fast as I could. The familiarity of the motions and the wind rushing past me helped to clear my head, but it couldn't do anything for my shock.

Human. We could be _human_…it was mind-boggling. I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop, for something else to happen to help me realize this was another attack by the Foot Mystics or the monster beneath Volpehart's building. Never mind that both enemies had been destroyed, their return still seemed more probable than this. It was impossible…as impossible as four mutant turtles living in an old reservoir studying Ninjutsu from a rat.

Okay, so I wasn't really one to talk about impossibility, but still.

I pushed myself for more speed. All I could remember from the lab was Don, sitting there staring at me with naked hope in his eyes, waiting.

Waiting for what? For me to say yes? Dumb question; of course he was waiting for me to say yes. But…how could I? And…and how _couldn't_ I? It was the chance of a lifetime, it was—it was freedom, freedom from a lifestyle that, guilty as I felt for it, even _I_ wanted out of. It was the answer to the incessant itch I felt inside myself every time I went into meditation these days, the answer to why I felt a forewarning of change on the horizon.

But at the same time…how could it work? I knew Don thought he had everything figured out, but we would have to abandon almost everything for this. Our old—our _current _way of life and the life that humans lived shouldn't mesh. I hesitated to say 'couldn't', because April, Casey, and even Karai were proof that the daylight and darkness of human and ninja lifestyles _could_ mix…but at the same time, they were also proof that they shouldn't. Involving April and Casey in our lifestyle had put them in danger so many times, and while I wasn't as worried about us being in danger as humans (because we always were, so I was used to it), I _was_ worried about us losing who we were. How would we be able to keep to our heritage, our way of life as ninja, living as humans? I had talked to April many times, heard her complain about how little time she had for training while working. It was easy to see how tired she and Casey were sometimes when they came down to the Lair, having spent their days working only to have their nights full as well, spent helping us, delivering groceries, or dealing with whatever trouble our friendship had dragged them into at the moment.

The worlds of—tactless as it sounded—average humans and ninja just didn't mesh. I wondered if Don realized that, that we just couldn't have it both ways. We were all in excellent shape, all used to long periods of activity and being hyper-alert, but even _we_ couldn't continue our patrols of the city and then wake up in the morning to go to work. We'd burn out in no time. That part of our life would have to end; we would be just as limited and tied down as humans were. I was not afraid of work or responsibility, but I had grown to appreciate some of the unusual freedoms we had as ninja turtles, and I didn't know if I was willing to trade that for being human. And we would be, in a sense, abandoning the city; not to sound proud, but without us, the streets of New York would be much more dangerous.

And yet…to be human. To have the simple things that everyone else had…safety, easy access to food and medical attention, the ability to walk around in the sunlight…it sounded amazing. To not have to fear for my family's lives, to have them be safe—

I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped me, breathless as it was. Safe. In New York City. A city of some of the world's darkest, of muggers and rapists and thieves and murderers.

It said a lot about our life that I thought _that_ was safe…but it was.

As vicious as New York was, a life in the city was still safer than the lives we had. No matter what kind of people we might meet up there, they were nothing we couldn't handle, _hadn't_ handled. I could trust all of my brothers to easily deal with anyone who sprung at them from alleys, though I still disliked the thought. Not to jinx anything, but New York could throw its worst at us, and it still wouldn't be as bad as things had been for us in the past. We had enemies from different worlds and times who had powers and weapons beyond those of fear, intimidation and guns. Our more unusual enemies couldn't follow us, couldn't attack us as easily if we were human. They would be looking for turtles, and if _I_ could hardly dream of technology that could turn me from turtle could human—even with all I had seen and done—then how could the Purple Dragons? Or even the Foot? In a city of millions, we would be like needles in a haystack. There would be safety in anonymity. The thought of it, of having the chance to live without the weight of worry and fear I had carried around since I could remember…it was extremely tempting. I knew I was getting caught up in myself, thinking us immortal when I shouldn't; I had seen firsthand that we were just as fragile as humans, just as easily injured by guns. But still, _still_, even that we could overcome.

And yet, there were still so many risks, still so much that would have to be sacrificed. We could not continue to be the people we were; we would have to change, to give things up. I didn't even know to what extent, but I did know that I didn't want to turn my back on our heritage, on what Master Splinter had sought to teach us and keep alive within us.

And yet, and yet, and yet…

It took me a while to realize that my body was running in circles as much as my mind was; I had been running the same tunnels over and over while I was thinking. I shook my head and glanced around, getting my bearings before I headed back home. I picked up my speed; I had spent so much time in the sewers already, and practice was fast approaching. I didn't know how I would get through it, not when Don's words and my thoughts and things I hadn't hoped for in years all felt like they were living things crawling around under my skin. My inner turmoil and confusion would be obvious to Master Splinter, and if my thoughts kept impairing my focus, my brothers would be quick to pick up on it as well.

I didn't want to hope for this, not when it could fall through or be turned down by Master Splinter or somehow not work, but it seemed like Don's hope had infected me already. I could _not_ be rash about this, though; I had look at all the dangers honestly, not through eyes clouded by hope and foolhardy pride. I had to remind myself that we could die just as easily up there as we could down in the sewers, just by different means and at the hands of less familiar antagonists. I had always been realistic before, and I had to be so now as well, more than ever.

My heart was still racing along with my mind by the time I reached the Lair, but I pushed both down, quieting them with the ease borne out of years of practice. Don wouldn't be expecting a decision as soon as I returned; once I made it through practice, I could think about everything more.

I took a deep breath and released it as I walked into our home, closing the door behind me and slipping into the dojo. I couldn't help a small, exasperated sigh at seeing that as long as I had been gone, I had still beaten Mikey and Raph to practice…though Don and Master Splinter were already there. I bowed to Sensei and took my place a few feet away from Don.

He glanced up at me quickly, then darted his eyes back onto the mat, fidgeting slightly where he knelt. A wry smile tugged at my mouth. Or maybe he _would_ be hoping for a decision as soon as I returned.

My smile slipped away when I realized that for all my words, I already had one for him. The realization was not a happy one. I had thought that I had trained and evicted all the rashness and blind hope out of myself years ago…

Apparently, I didn't do as thorough of a job as I thought.

"Leonardo, my son?"

Master Splinter's words grabbed my attention, and I wrenched my mind back into focus. "Yes, Sensei?"

His eyes searched my face, and though I knew could probably see many things there, he said nothing about them. "Could you fetch your brothers, please? We are ready to begin."

I bowed and stood. "Yes, Sensei." I made my way to the stairs and jumped up them, landing in front of Raph's room. No sooner had I raised my fist to knock on the door than it jerked open and Raph stumbled out, glaring at me blearily.

"Yeah, I'm up," he grumbled, heading for the stairs.

"Good morning to you too, Raph," I murmured sarcastically, moving on to Mikey's door. I didn't bother knocking, considering what Mikey had slept through in the past, and just opened the door. I felt along the wall until I found the light switch, and flicked the lights on.

Nothing. Little Brother didn't even move.

I sighed. It was time for drastic measures. I felt kind of bad for waking Mikey like Raph would, but it was past time for practice to start, and I was itching to get through it so I could get to meditation and try to calm the roar in my head. I took a deep breath and barked my brother's name. "Michelangelo! Practice!"

It was slightly gratifying to see the instinctual response that followed; Mikey jackknifed into a sitting position, eyes darting around. "I didn't do it, I swear!" he slurred, still sleep-muddled. "It was Raph!"

I tried not to smile. "Good morning, Michelangelo."

Mikey blinked several times, looking around before peering at me. "Leo? Where's the fire?"

"Downstairs in the dojo, waiting for you…along with Master Splinter, Don, Raph, and our old friend, Morning Practice," I deadpanned.

"Dude, it's too early for practice," Mikey said with a yawn, stretching widely. "Practice doesn't start 'til 9, and it's only—" He glanced at the alarm clock that was still merrily blaring what I thought I recognized as a superhero theme song alarm and froze. "Uh, 9:08."

"Imagine that."

Mikey grinned sheepishly. "I'm gonna just…head down there now," he promised, sliding his pads and wristbands on as he struggled to disentangle himself from his sheets.

I shook my head, nabbing his bandana and weapons from his bedside table and holding them out for him to take. "How is it that you can hear someone taking the last piece of cake from the fridge when you're all the way across the Lair watching TV, but you can't hear an alarm clock that is less than a foot away from your head?"

"Selective hearing?" he offered cheekily. "Plus I totally had dibs on that cake."

"Emphasis on the selective part." I watched Mikey finally extract himself from bed and felt a question bubble into my throat. "Mikey? Have you ever wanted to be human?"

Mikey stopped halfway through tying his mask on, the fabric lying crookedly on his face. "What?" he asked, fixing the eyeholes so he could see me. "Where did that come from?"

It was inexplicable, but my little brother always seemed to have the uncanny ability to be extremely perceptive whenever I didn't want him to be. I shrugged, trying to think of an answer. "Just curious. Have you?"

"Of course!" Mikey crowed, picking his way to the door, his suspicion past. "Not that I'm not an extremely talented and attractive turtle, but there are a few more options available to people with ten fingers and no shells, ya know? I mean, there's the mall, and the movies…skate parks…ladies who don't scream when they see you…" He grinned. "It'd be awesome. I totally even know what I'd look like, too."

I blinked. "You've thought about it that much?"

"Of course!" He headed for the stairs as he talked, and I followed along obediently. "See, I would of course look something like Brad Pitt—"

I couldn't help myself as I handed him his nunchaku. "Really blond?"

Mikey glared at me. "Missing the point, bro! 'Ridiculously good-looking' was what I was _trying_ to say before I was so rudely interrupted. You know, strong jaw, chiseled frame, unbelievably buff, the works."

"And you know this how?"

"Two things," Mikey said, holding up a pair of fingers. "First, my dulcet tones; no one sounds as good as I do without looking just as good."

"Of course," I replied, trying not to roll my eyes. "And second?"

"Karma," Mikey replied firmly as we reached the bottom of the stairs. "I figure, considering all we've done for the planet—and you know, a bunch of other planets and universes and time eras and random alien species—Fate _owes_ it to me to make me outrageously attractive."

"That explains your fascination with the movie "Mr. and Mrs. Smith"," I said finally, hitting on a distraction from my question. "Do you feel like you're watching yourself on film?" I asked teasingly.

Mikey sniffed and put his chin in the air. "You're just jealous that I'm the pretty one. And I watch it for Angelina, not Brad."

"Oh, I see. Forgive my ignorance." I smiled and gave Mikey a gentle shove, nudging him into the dojo. "Let's go, Mr. Pitt; it's time for practice."

He glanced back at me suddenly, his eyes wide. "You're not gonna tell Raph, are you? I still haven't lived down the whole tripping incident from last week. You can't give 'im more ammo against me, bro."

"My lips are sealed," I assured him quietly. "In fact…this conversation never happened, alright?"

Mikey grinned. "Right."

"Michelangelo…how nice of you to join us," Master Splinter said wryly, his tail thumping the _tatami_ mats lightly as we entered. "If you're quite ready?"

Mikey and I slid into our places. "Sorry, Master Splinter."

Sensei sighed and shook his head. "I would like twenty extra minutes of meditation from you, my son, on the virtues of timeliness and ways to achieve it."

"Yes, Sensei," Mikey groaned, bowing his head.

"Good. Now, today we will be working on reviewing your most recent _katas_, paying special attention to economy of motion…"

As Master Splinter began listing the _kata_ we would be reviewing and demonstrating, I listened with only half a mind to his words. The rest of my thoughts were still tangled up in what Mikey had said.

He wanted to be human. As much as his words had been joking, there had been a light in his eyes while he talked about it that couldn't be faked. I had always known that Mikey dreamed the most of all of us, but now I had it confirmed that those dreams included wanting something more than what we were.

Now I just had to find out what Raph wanted…which was definitely easier said than done. Raph was as suspicious as they came, and not as easily distracted as Mikey. But I needed to know if he wanted this…and yet, I didn't want to alert him to anything before the time was right. I would just have to—

"Leonardo, will you begin with the Rising Wind _kata_?"

I stood as soon as Master Splinter said my name, hoping no one had noticed my distraction. "_Hai_, Sensei." I drew my swords and began the _kata_, chastising myself for my lack of focus. My personal problems had no place in the dojo. I pushed the issue aside firmly, calling to mind all the steps of the _kata_ and making certain I performed each one precisely.

Later. I would think some more and get my answers later. For now, I had a practice to lead.

* * *

I spent all the rest of that day and the next trying to appear untroubled even while my mind raced and tried to think of additional problems. What would we tell people who asked about our past? How would we explain our Ninjutsu training, which was hardly a common branch of martial arts to practice? Would we actually be able to adjust to living like humans, _as_ humans, after so long of only watching them from the shadows? Yes, we knew what their world was like, but distantly, only as observers, outcasts on the outside looking in. Could we overcome that well enough and quickly enough to avoid attracting attention?

But no matter what questions I asked myself, when I was honest with myself, I was always able to find an answer, even if it was a weak one. And I knew that if _I_ was able to find answers, then Don would have even better answers, as well as reams of proof and examples printed out to back them up, and reasons why _those_ reasons were valid and dependable.

After I got past all of my possible objections and my initial hope, it really sank in just what this would mean.

There were no real substantial reasons why we shouldn't do this…which meant that everything could change completely very soon.

We could be_ human_, for better or worse.

Our structured/unstructured lifestyle would no longer be an option. The days of morning practices, food fights at lunch, lazy afternoons, evening patrols…that life would be over. It would become a normal life of living and having jobs and paying bills. My brothers would never be satisfied with being humans and not getting to live as such, and I won't pretend that I would be either. Yes, I resigned myself to our life long ago, I've long since accepted it as being inevitable, but…I won't lie and say that I've never wished for more. It's just…I've accepted that 'more' isn't likely to ever come along. But now…yes, I would take this chance.

And my brothers…they'd be gone in a heartbeat.

They would want to experience everything that being human could offer. Don would break into the scientific world and become their latest brainchild. Mikey would do—shell, _anything_, and people would fall in love with the amazing person he is. And Raph…Raph would finally have the freedom he wanted so desperately, and could finally grow into the person he could be, if his anger and resentment was out of the way. They would throw themselves into the world, and the world would swallow them up eagerly.

And they would leave me.

I would get left behind. I knew that as certainly as I knew my name. Given the chance, my brothers would follow their dreams everywhere. And while I would never think of standing in the way of their dreams…I don't know what I would do. There isn't really anything I can think of that I would want to do with my life. Long ago, I realized and accepted the fact that there would probably never be anything more for me than Ninjutsu and protecting my family. I came to terms with that long ago, and as such, I never really held any dreams for "what if" futures. What would I do if I could be human? I didn't have an answer. There were little things, like travel, or just walking a street without causing panic, but I had no big dream to accomplish like my brothers.

I do know that I would be left behind. And that scared me. My life has always been about my family, my brothers…without them, I'd just be Leonardo. Not the leader, not Fearless, just a big brother. I would have the chance to live my life however I wanted to…but I have no idea what I want. I know that I want my family safe and happy. I know that I want the chance to stop fighting for survival every day of my life. But that's all I know. I've never had the time to find out what I want, so how I am supposed to know what to do with an entirely new life?

I've never had cause to think about it, and so there is nothing in the human world I want. I want companionship, yes; as much as my brothers believe me incapable of such thoughts, as much as they embarrass me sometimes, I want someone of my own. But that, too, I'd set aside long ago; I had my family, my father and brothers, and friends all across the universe (and in others), and I eventually contented myself with that. Besides, who would want a relationship with a mutant turtle? And even as a human, which would improve my chances drastically (one would think), it would be difficult; what were the chances of me finding a person I could share all of my life with, including my past? We'd all come to realize that April was one-in-a-million; women like her, who could accept who we were and stand beside us…they weren't a common thing.

If I was to be honest, I would have to admit that part of my hesitation was due to the fact that like Mikey, I can't stop hoping. The only difference is that while Mikey hopes for better things and is able to cope if things don't work out, I, as hard as it is to believe, was more like Raph; I'd rather not start hoping if things aren't likely to go well. If dreams aren't likely to come true, I'd rather not dream them at all.

I was torn. Part of me wanted to say yes, while another dark, selfish part of me just wanted to say no. I didn't want to share my family with the world, didn't want to let them go when I knew they might not come back. They were all I had known for so many years…and now that all could vanish. I could lose them. I always believed Master Splinter and The Ancient One when they told me that one must flow with change or change would break a man (or turtle). I understood what they meant when they told me that the tree that bends under the strength of the winds of change will survive, while the tree that stands too firmly and refuses to bend will be broken. I understood the lessons and adages, and I even repeated them to my brothers…and yet apparently I was a hypocrite, because now that change was coming, my first inclination was to refuse it.

And I realized that I could _not_ refuse this. Don shouldn't have asked me first, shouldn't have thought that I was the one to come to. I was honored that he valued my opinion so much, but Master Splinter was the leader of our family, the _jounin_ of our clan, not me. Don shouldn't have thought that my decision had any more weight than his, or Raph's, or Mikey's, because it shouldn't. I knew Master Splinter trusted my judgment and relied on me to make decisions for the family, but I didn't want the burden of deciding this on my own. This was something we had to decide on as a family, and in our family, I was just another brother. I had had to learn that distinction myself, and I nearly lost Raph before I learned it: brother and leader needed to be separate, and both had to be nearly equal parts of me. As hard as it was to be both, I had no choice; if I was just a leader, my brothers would lose a brother, and I would lose them as well in turn…and then I would be left with not brothers, but just teammates. But if I was just a brother, I could not trust myself to lead Mikey, Don and Raph into battle and keep my head. I had tried to be more of a brother, and things got a little better, but it was still a difficult balancing act, especially when Sensei just kept getting older and delegating more of his responsibilities to me. Still, I tried to look at things both as a leader _and_ a brother.

As a leader, I was fairly sure I was right to be hesitant about this.

As a brother, I owed it to my brothers to find out what they wanted. I was the eldest, and their happiness and safety were my primary concerns. My own happiness might have to take a backseat, but that was nothing new, so I would deal with it.

I could deal with this, as long as I had my family with me.

By the end of the second day after Don had told me, I was nearly ready to give him my answer. I had felt his eyes on me almost constantly over the past two days, but he never approached me and rarely said anything. I could tell he was trying to give me space, and I appreciated it, but the way he watched me made my skin itch. I spent most of my time out of the Lair, running through the sewers or sitting on the rooftops, watching humanity and trying to think of what it would be like to be one of the people I saw hurry down the sidewalk. I imagined myself in their shoes, heading home after a day of work. Could I be happy like that?

I thought I could, as long as I had my brothers and father, and as long as they were happy as well.

A sigh forced its way out of me. I needed to give Don my answer soon, before we both went crazy. I had had two days to think about it, just as much time as Don had. I was ready, but I still wanted to talk to Raph. If Don was going to treat my answer as having authority, I wanted to make sure I spoke for all of my brothers.

I just needed my last brother to speak to me first.

**

* * *

**

**Raphael  
**

There are a couple'a things in this world that are so stupid they piss me off.

Idiots who think that we're frogs, even though we clearly got shells.

Idiots who think it's a good idea to take 'shortcuts' through dark alleys in _New York City._

Idiots who think they can touch my family an' not get the shit beat out of 'em for it.

And idiots who act really frickin' weird an' don't expect anyone to notice.

Don and Leo were bein' idiots of that last kind, an' it was gettin' old fast.

The day after Donnie had finished another of one his nerd-athons, he an' Leo started actin' really weird. Leo was real quiet during practice, and Don kept watchin' 'im outta the corner of his eye, but he didn't go near 'im. And then Leo took off immediately afterward, an' was outta the Lair most of that day and the next. And through all of it, Donnie's pacin' around like his shell's on fire, poppin' his head outta his lab every time Leo came back home, then disappearin' back inside.

And the whole time, neither of 'em were talkin.

They were drivin' me insane.

I finally got fed up with it an' decided to get some answers that night. I'd originally planned on goin' to Don, but I could hear him muttering from outside the lab, which normally meant he was workin' on somethin', an' I was banned from interruptin' him after I had caught 'im at a bad time once.

Hey, if ya ask me, the explosion was cool; the lecture from Don an' Sensei afterwards sucked, though.

I gave up on Don and was gonna go track down Fearless when I saw the tail ends of his bandana just before the door to the Lair closed. I glanced at the clock; eleven o'clock at night and Fearless was goin' for a run. That sound to me like a perfect excuse to get some air.

"Hey, Mikey."

The TV muted and Mike's head popped up over the back of the couch. "Yeah?"

"I'm goin' out with Leo." Out with Leo, after Leo, same thing.

"Gonna find out why he and Donnie are acting so weird?" Mikey asked.

I didn't know how the guy could pick up on the little stuff when he seemed clueless about everything else, but I'd given up tryin' to figure it out. "Gonna try. Keep an eye on Brainiac, yeah?"

Mikey disappeared again, but flashed a thumbs up. "You got it."

I slipped out of the Lair and listened for a minute, then took off down the tunnel. I didn't know where Leo was goin', but I could still hear him, so he couldn't be in too big of a hurry to get there. I followed behind 'im, not botherin' to be quiet, and since he didn't speed up, he either knew I was there an' didn't care, or was really out of it and didn't notice. Whichever it was, I followed 'im outta the sewers and up to the surface, all the way up the side of a buildin' and onto the roof. Leo stopped runnin' then, and nearly gave me a heart attack when he walked up to the edge without stoppin'. But before I could move, he sat down on the edge, starin' out over the city. I breathed out quietly, catchin' my breath and tryin' to figure out what Leo was doin'. I couldn't remember or see anythin' special about the buildin' we were on, so I guessed he had just been lookin' for somewhere to think.

I lasted about two minutes before I got sick of waitin' and walked up behind Leo. "Hey."

Leo jerked suddenly, and I wanted to mimic him; I couldn't believe he actually hadn't known I was trailin' 'im. "Hey, Raph. What's up?"

Oh yeah, that was smooth. I snorted. "Like you don't know. You an' Donnie've been actin' weird as hell for the past couple days, an' now I trail you all the way out here without you realizin' it, an' I wanna know why. It ain't like either of you t'hold grudges, so what the hell'd you fight about that was this bad?"

"Fight…?" Leo glanced up at me, lookin' confused. "We didn't fight about anything."

"Then what the hell have you been actin' so weird about?" I demanded. "An' don't try to deny it, you've both been dodgin' each other for days, an' you're hardly in the Lair unless you gotta be."

Leo sighed, lookin' away. "Don…brought something up, and I've been thinking about it since then. He's waiting for me to give him an answer, but it's kind of hard for him to be patient about the issue, so I've been giving myself some space. That's all. There's no fight, Raph."

I blinked. That was it? "Well shit, if that's it, just make up your mind and let 'im know. Stop dancin' around like idiots."

"Language, Raph," Leo replied automatically.

I rolled my eyes an' sat down beside 'im. "Still English, Leo."

"It's not that simple," he continued, ignorin' me. "It's…a rather—unique issue that he brought up, and there's a lot to think about."

"What is it?"

Leo shook his head. "You'll find out in a few days. And don't bother trying to go to Don for answers; as high-strung as he is right now, you'll end up wishing you hadn't."

I made a face at the back of Leo's head. I hated it when he did that, guessed what I was plannin' to do an' blocked me. "Real helpful. Will you at least stop actin' like morons around each other?"

Leo snorted quietly. "Sure." He sighed. "I'm about ready to give him my answer anyways, so don't worry, I won't be—dancing around for much longer."

"Good."

"I…" Leo hesitated. "I didn't mean to worry you. Or Mikey."

I shrugged. "We weren't all that worried, just curious. And annoyed."

"Sorry," he apologized.

Leo wasn't expandin' on the issue, which was makin' me suspicious; while he was famous for avoidin' questions, he usually came clean when someone called 'im on it. "Hey…nothing's wrong, right? Everything's okay?" It felt awkward to ask, even though we'd been talkin' easier, and more, ever since we turned eighteen. Things had been about the same as they'd always been 'til then, but then took a nosedive; I can't even remember why, it was just somethin' stupid and everything boiled over. Donnie had finally gotten sick of it all an' locked us in Leo's room together, since Leo had less stuff to break, an' barricaded the door, refusin' to let us out for anythin' until we talked everythin' over an' "made some compromises on our mutual pigheadedness", as he put it. After tryin' (and failin') to break down the door for the better part of an hour (that little nerd built a mean barricade), Leo an' I finally talked, fought, broke a few things, an' sorted out a couple others. Things got better, but we still pissed each other off occasionally, an' it was still weird to be talkin' to Leo so easily.

He smiled slightly. "No, nothing's wrong. I just have a decision to make, and there's more to consider than just how I feel, that's all. Everything's okay."

Like hell. Just a decision? It was obviously somethin' big; Leo was usually way better at keepin' stuff to himself, so if it was to freaking 'im out enough for us to notice, it was _big_. But he didn't hide really serious stuff from us, so maybe it _wasn't_ all that bad—

"Do you hate them, Raph?" Leo asked suddenly.

I blinked, wonderin' what the hell he was talkin' about. "Who?"

Leo gestured down at the street. "Them. Humans."

Just when I thought he couldn't get weirder. I shrugged. "No."

"Did you ever?"

I balanced my sai on one finger. "…Yeah, I used to. When we were young. 'Course, I hated a lot of things back then."

"Like me?" Leo asked quietly.

I grabbed my sai before I dropped it, grittin' my teeth at his question. I deserved it, but hell, I thought he knew me better'n that; yeah, things were bad when we were younger, but he oughta know the obvious stuff. "No. I sometimes thought I did, though. You pissed me off, frustrated me, made me so crazy I thought I'd lose it, but I never hated you. Dislike, yeah, but…you're my brother, Leo. I know ya too well to hate ya, no matter how much I might want to at times," I grumbled. I hated rememberin' how bad things used to be between us, an' I especially hated talkin' about 'em. That was s'posed to be done with.

"I'm glad," Leo said, smilin' a little. "What changed?"

I shifted warily. "With what, you or humans?"

"Both. Either. Whichever you feel like answering."

I glanced at Leo outta the corner of my eye. I wasn't sure what the hell had brought it on, but it seemed like Leo was in one'a his real introspective moods, which tends to make 'im chattier. I stared back at the horizon too, thinkin'. "It wasn't any one thing that changed how I thought about 'em—humans, I mean," I said slowly. I didn't feel like touchin' that question 'bout Leo.

"I think it was more like…a buncha things, a couple different people who changed it. It took a while, too; I…I'd hated 'em since Sensei explained the difference 'tween us an' them, an' what they'd do if they caught us. I started watchin' 'em after that, to see what was so different, what was so great about them…an' I didn't see much of anything." I snorted. "Looking back on it now, maybe New York wasn't the best place to start lookin' for humanity's shinin' virtues, but it was what was there. I don't think I minded not findin' a whole lotta good in any of 'em, actually; I wanted to hate humans after Master Splinter explained everything. I didn't see how I _couldn't_ hate them, or why I shouldn't, not when it was because'a them that we were stuck livin' in the sewers an' bein' afraid of goin' topside. I didn't see how you guys could just—not care that they were makin' our lives a livin' hell. I saw a lot when I was younger, more'n anyone…'cept maybe you," I added grudgingly, glancing at Leo again. I knew Leo had to have seen his share of the bad and ugly in the Big Apple over the years, because I'd heard him slip outta the Lair for his own late-night runs, and those were just the times I'd caught him. Who knew how many other times there'd been when he'd just been too quiet to hear.

Leo lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "Maybe. We'll have to compare sometime."

I snorted. That was as much as I was gonna get on the subject for now. "Anyways, I saw a lot I didn't like," I continued, scowling; rememberin' my youth wasn't all that fun at times, both for what I saw an' what I did. "I saw people get killed, mugged, attacked, stolen from, hurt…I saw humans takin' advantage of each other, cheatin' each other, hurtin' each other. They were wasteful an' bad an' didn't seem to care. An' then there was us. All we did was look out for each other an' train an' live our lives without hurtin' anyone—at least, anyone who didn't deserve it. We watched over people, saved people, and even freakin' helped the homeless, for cryin' out loud. And somehow _we_ were the bad ones, the wrong ones. It didn't make any sense. I couldn't understand how humans, with all the bad they did, could be the example of what was normal and okay. They were scumbags; _we_ were better people than they were, but we weren't accepted. Seein' that, an' knowin' that…" I shrugged, glaring at the people below us. "How the hell was I supposed to _not_ hate them?"

Leo was quiet for a while before he finally said somethin'.

"That makes a lot of sense," he said softly, noddin' slowly. "It explains a lot about how you used to act."

I shrugged. I'd done a lotta things I wasn't proud of, and a good portion of 'em was as a result of hatin' humans for so long…but that wasn't somethin' I wanted to share with Leo. He'd seen me do enough. "I guess."

"So what first started changing things?" Leo asked.

"It started with April."

Leo smiled. "A lot of things started with April, come to think of it."

I laughed. "Yeah, I guess. Anyways, it was rocky at first. We were young, so I was still stupid, still expectin' her to be grateful that we'd saved her instead'a scared…so when she screamed as soon as she saw us, I was pissed. I thought she was just like every other single human, hatin' us for what we were an' how we looked, an' not carin' about anything else." I shook my head. "Then she stopped screamin' and started talkin', an' I saw that I was bein' just like them, like the humans I hated, judgin' her on the first things she did. She was the first one t'show me that there was at least one human out there that wasn't a waste of space. After that, it kinda snowballed. We just kept meetin' people, and most of 'em turned out to be a lot better'n I'd expected."

"Was there anyone else like April?" Leo asked. "You know, who really challenged what you thought."

That was an easy one. "Sure."

"Who?"

I sucked on my teeth, thinkin'. "Well, Case, for one; it was nice to know that even if there wasn't anyone who looked like me topside, there was at least someone who thought like me. The Professor an' the other homeless guys, too; they hardly blinked at us, just took us as we were an' thanked us for our help. They…they kinda felt like—like kin, ya know? I mean, we were practically homeless too, an' they'd gotten treated just as bad as we had by humans. And Mrs. Morrison."

Leo glanced at me. "Who's she?"

"A real nice old lady I ran into one time. She's the one I gave that suitcase of money to, the case Mikey got when those Touch an' Go guys came after him an' Sensei, remember? Great lady."

"Mm. And she's…trustworthy?"

I couldn't help but snort at the edge in Leo's voice. "She's blind, Leo," I drawled, watchin' him wince. "I'd say she's about as safe as they come."

"Oh." Leo looked embarrassed. "Sorry."

I shrugged. "'S no big deal. I'll introduce you some time. She makes a mean cup of tea; good stuff, too, not that grass you an' Sensei drink. She could teach you a thing or two."

Leo snorted. "I'd be glad for the lesson, I guess."

"You could use it," I said flatly, standin' up and stretchin'. That green tea he an' Sensei swilled was nasty stuff; Mrs. M made somethin' called chai tea, tasted almost like coffee or cocoa; now _that_ was tea worth drinkin'.

"Raph?"

"Yeah, what?"

"If…if you could have anything in the world, what would it be?"

I stared at the back of Leo's head. Where the hell did that come from? "What?"

"What would it be? Either something concrete, or more abstract, just—what would you want?"

He was serious. He wasn't movin' at all, not even to look back at me; he was just sittin' there, waitin' for an answer. I groaned; I had thought I was done with Leo's soul-searchin' twenty questions shit. "I'd want you to start makin' some damn sense," I muttered, swattin' 'im on the back of the head as I squatted back down beside him. I sighed. "Alright. One thing in the world, no holds barred?"

"Yeah. Anything in the world. Restrictions, money, reality, the laws of physics…if none of them mattered, what would you want?"

"…Freedom."

The answer came outta nowhere, but it felt right. I guess that _was_ what I wanted most; everythin' else I wanted could be traced back to that, in a way. I wanted to stop fightin' for m'damn life every day (but keep fighting for fun, of course), I wanted my bros and Sensei safe, I wanted to stop livin' on the outskirts of the world in places that humans had cast off, an' I wanted the kind of life so many of 'em seemed to take for granted.

I wanted freedom…from our way of life.

I didn't want to, though. For years I hadn't minded it; back when topside was new an' still borderline-restricted, when midnight runs and bustin' heads still made the adrenaline run through my veins, I loved that there were so many things I could do that humans couldn't. They were trapped on the ground, but the world was my playground, an' things like jumpin' off'a buildings were as easy as breathin'. But after a while, I found out that that was it, that was all there was, all I had to look forward to. For all our skills, there was so much we couldn't do, and an entire world that we could never belong in. It wore on me after a while. I didn't want to hate our life, an' I hated myself whenever I resented Master Splinter for it, but that was how it was.

"Freedom," Leo repeated. "How do you mean? Like…being human?"

I glanced at 'im. He still hadn't looked at me, an' his voice hadn't changed, but he seemed tense all of a sudden…and that question came outta _nowhere_. I shrugged carefully. "Yeah, maybe."

"Really?" Leo stared at me, lookin' confused. "Even after all you've seen?"

If he was confused, I didn't have a frickin' clue. I couldn't figure out where any of this had come from; I never really thought Leo thought about the people of New York all that much, 'cept as victims to protect or thugs to beat up. Now all of a sudden he wanted to know if I wanted to be one? What the _hell_? "Yeah, I guess," I mumbled. "I told you, I get that not all of 'em are like the punks we kick the shit out of, remember?"

Leo's brow knit. "I know, it's just—" He looked back down, starin' hard at the people hurryin' down the sidewalks. "I look at them, and I realize that there is so much of their lifestyle that I don't know about. For all that we watch over them and know a few of them, I don't know what their lives are like."

I scratched my head. "You know what Case an' April's lives are like."

"I mean regular humans—no offense intended," he said quickly. "But Casey and April…their lives aren't normal, not with us in them, not with all they've been through with us and because of us. I mean—I mean just average people, like them." Leo gestured across the road to a brightly lit apartment. The blinds were up, an' I could see a lady movin' in an' out of the kitchen window, an' a guy sittin' on the couch. "They probably both have jobs they have to get up early for everyday. They work their nine to five shifts and then come home, supposedly. But what else is there? Are they happy with just that?"

This was gettin' ridiculous. It was eleven-thirty at night for crying out loud, an' I had been as patient as I could be with Leo's deep-thinkin' shit and evasiveness an' his constant _not_ answerin' my questions. "Shit, Leo, I don't know! Do I look like I have a clue was John and Suzie Whoever-the-Hell do or think? Maybe they're happy, maybe they ain't. They sure don't look like they got a lot to be unhappy about, but who knows, they may have their own shit to deal with. As for bein' happy with just that—not everyone meets aliens and frickin' demons every damn day, Leo; they don't _know_ there's anythin' more. They just know what they've got, an' I guess they're good with that." I jerked to my feet. This was pissin' me off. Salt in the wound, Leo was bringin' up questions an' shit I'd tried not to think about for years. I was _trying_ to be happy with what we had, count my blessings and shit; I didn't need to be thinkin' about humans an' how even if they were unappreciative, _I_ would be _damn_ happy to have the things they did. "Why does it even matter?"

It got quiet, and I was about to give up an' leave when he spoke up again. "I'm sorry, Raph," he said suddenly, standin' up behind me an' restin' a hand on my shoulder carefully. "For being so…"

"Annoyingly vague an' random?" I snapped. I grimaced, rubbin' a hand over my face. I hated how he could make me fly off the handle so easily, even when he wasn't tryin' to. It seemed like Leo had gotten whatever it was outta his system, which was good, but I still didn't have any answers as to what had brought it on. Apparently somethin' I'd said was what Leo was lookin' for, but I was damned if I could figure out what.

Leo smiled weakly. "Yeah. And for a lot of other things." He gestured to the alley and the manhole five stories beneath us. "Ready to head back?"

What I was ready to do was to get outta there and hit my punching bag…or the streets an' some punks. I wanted to try an' head over to see Case, but as weird as Leo was bein', I also wanted to make sure he got his stupid self home without gettin' jumped. It'd serve him right to run into some Purple Dragons and try to get his stupid answers about whether they were happy with their lives outta them while they beat the stupid out of him, but—hell, I knew I'd feel bad later if he _did_ get his ass ambushed. "Yeah, I guess. Someone oughta make sure Mikey hasn't driven Donnie insane since we left."

"You didn't tell him to bother Don, did you?" Leo asked, lookin' concerned.

"No, but we both know that chucklehead does what he wants," I retorted. "But they're prob'ly fine; Mikey was zonin' pretty hard into whatever was on TV when I left. Don's prob'ly still all alone in Nerd-ville."

Leo laughed a little as we snuck down the fire escape. "I hope so." He fell quiet again, an' we made it back into the sewers before he spoke up again. "Speaking of Don, he said something about you the other day…something I wanted to ask you about and see if he was right."

I grimaced. What the hell was that about? I couldn't think of anythin' Don would want to bring up, or what I'd done to piss him off and make him bring somethin' up. Hell, I hadn't pissed anyone off recently that I could think of. "Yeah, what is it?"

Leo was nothin' but a shadow at my side, light occasionally reflectin' off his swords. "He told me something that I should have noticed before, but didn't…something that probably would have made our teen years a lot easier for both of us. He said that no matter how far you run, you always come back home."

What the hell? I glanced as Leo warily. "You didn't notice that before?"

"I guess not," Leo replied, grimacing. "Probably because all I could notice was that you weren't home when I wanted you home."

I snorted. "Yeah, well, we've always had different ideas on what constituted a reasonable curfew."

"Yeah. Raph?"

"Yeah?"

Leo came to a stop. "Is Don right?" The white eyeholes of his mask were all I could see in the darkness of the tunnels, an' it made me uneasy. "When he says that no matter how far you run, or how long you're gone, you'll always come back home eventually? I know how to wait for you now, and I can and will, as long as I know I have something to wait for."

He was gonna get punched in the face, an' he was gonna deserve it. I had had enough of him springin' random-ass questions on me five questions ago, but apparently he was on a roll tonight. I stared back at Leo, tryin' to figure him out an' wishin' I had more light to see his face by. What the hell had brought this on? Was he freakin' out about somethin', or was this just more of him bein' all introspective an' weird? "You sure nothing's wrong?" I demanded. "You aren't bein' weird 'cause you…I dunno, saw somethin' or whatever, or 'cause you're plannin' on doin' somethin' stupid?" I gripped his shoulder, pullin' him forward. "'Cause I ain't gonna let you do anythin' stupid again, like the last time you got all intense an' started spoutin' nonsense and all that shit, you understand?" Those days when Leo was actin' like me at my worst had been bad ones, especially when he got sent away, and I would kick his ass before I'd let that happen again. "Lettin' it go that time was a mistake, an' I got no problem beatin' the stupid outta you now if I gotta."

Leo's hand came up to rest on my forearm. "I understand," he said quietly, a smile in his voice. "And I'm glad you'd stop me before I—before I got that bad again. I'm sorry if I'm worrying you, but honestly, Raph, nothing's wrong. I'm just…being annoyingly vague and random, that's all. Just the musings of an older brother." He squeezed my arm. "Just humor me."

I narrowed my eyes, searchin' what I could see of Leo's face. All his questions played through my mind again, an' lookin' back an' tryin' not to be pissed, he did sound like he was just bein' all deep and unsure an' stuff. I just hated it when Leo went on a soul-search trip an' expected others to came along; what I thought was _my_ business alone, dammit, but Leo could always somehow make me share more than I wanted to. I let go slowly, rockin' back on my heels. "Just as long as you're gonna go tell Donnie your answer to whatever the hell it is you two are talkin' about," I said finally.

Leo nodded.

It wasn't a promise, but it was good enough. I snorted and started walkin' again, listenin' as Leo fell in beside me. I thought about what Don had said; I owed the little nerd a noogie for gettin' Leo's hackles up…but I guess he was right. I didn't think I could stay away, much as I wanted to; someone had to watch Leo, Don and Mikey's backs and keep them from bein' idiots. "Yeah, he's right. You're all I got in the world, bro, you and Don and Mikey an' Sensei; I'll keep comin' back as long as you let me," I mumbled. I hated stupid shit like this, havin' to spell out stuff for Leo that he should already know; wasn't he s'posed to be the intuitive one or whatever? I shouldn't have to tell him this kinda stuff.

"…And if we weren't all you had? What if you had others?"

I gritted my teeth. That was a stupid 'what if'; there would probably never be any 'others', not in our life. "This is your last damn stupid question for the night, you got it?" I growled. "I'm shovin' the next one right back down your throat."

Leo raised a hand. "Scout's honor," he said firmly, but I could see his eyes crinkle.

He was bein' such a weird jackass tonight, an' now he was laughin' at me 'cause I was pissed about it. I was gonna kick his ass in trainin' tomorrow an' enjoy it. But if it would make Leo stop freakin' out on me…I groaned. "Yeah, even then. You guys are in my blood. An' someone's gotta watch your backs. I'll keep comin' back, Leo; now stop bein' an idiot about things you should already know."

Leo's hand landed on my shoulder. "Right. I'm sorry. Thanks, Raph."

"Yeah, whatever," I said, tryin' to shrug his hand off. "You're gonna go talk to Donnie when we get back an' stop bein' an idiot, right?" I demanded

Leo laughed. "I can't make any promises on the second part, other than to stop asking so many vague and random questions. But yes, I'm going to talk to Don, even though it's late; I have my answer now."

"Good. It better be a damn good story when you tell me what this is all about."

There was a split-second hesitation in Leo's step, but then he kept walkin' an' laughed a little. "Don't worry, it will be."

* * *

**Donatello  
**

"Alright."

I jerked awake at the sound of someone speaking, flailing into an upright position. "Whuh?" I shook my head, rubbing at my eyes until I could make out the dark figure standing in my doorway, backlit by the slight glow left in the Lair. "Leo? What…what are you—?" I squinted at the clock. "Leo, it's midnight. Is something—"

Leo didn't move, just kept standing in my doorway, arms crossed across his plastron. "Alright. Your proposal."

"Proposal?" I blinked owlishly, trying to think. "Oh, you mean being human?"

"Yes. I've been thinking about it since you mentioned it," Leo said quietly. "What you said, any problems I could think of…and I think it could work. We would have to be extremely careful, and know what our story was, but it could work. If nothing else, it would be safer, and better for all of you over how things are now."

It took awhile for his words to register, but when they finally did, I grinned widely. "I'm glad you—wait. What about you?"

Leo frowned slightly. "Hm?"

"You said better for us. What about being better for you?"

Something passed over his face quickly. "Of course."

I sighed, shaking my head. Leo always had been a terrible liar.

"Leo…do you even want this?"

Another shift in his expression. "Sure. I—it will be better. Really."

Who was he trying to convince, me or himself?

"Leo…if you need more time to think about it, I don't mind, really," I practically had to force myself to keep talking, because I _did_ mind, but I was trying my damnedest to be patient for Leo. "I know I've been a little…anxious these past couple days, but I honestly didn't mean to rush you. I don't want to force you into anything you don't want to do." Except I did. I wanted him to want this _so much_, because I knew that it was most likely all or none; all of us would change, or none of us would. There was no way Master Splinter would allow only some of us to change; he believed in us being a united front of brothers more than he believed in anything else. "_Do_ you want this?"

Leo's hand tightened on his arms. "I…think so."

"Yes or no," I prompted. "Don't even think about it; just tell me what your gut answer is."

"I…yes?"

I caught the question in his voice even though he tried to sound certain. I had set myself up for that one; Leo couldn't _not_ think, anymore than I could. "How can you not know?" I asked incredulously.

Leo made a frustrated noise. "Don, I stopped hoping for things like this so long ago. It's hard to be optimistic in our world, in our life…I admire how Mikey can manage it, but I'm not always strong enough to do the same. And this…this seems too good to be true."

My mind struggled to keep up with Leo and his convoluted reasoning, something that was difficult enough to do when I hadn't just been woken up in the middle of the night. I rubbed my face and tried to stick to the obvious things.

"This opportunity isn't a now or never kind of thing, Leo," I said calmly, trying to find the right words. "And if it's something we're all okay with, I doubt Master Splinter will have any objections. You know he wants us to be happy, and to be safe, especially now that he's getting older."

We both made a face at that. It was a hard truth to accept, but Master Splinter definitely wasn't getting any younger. Average rats didn't usually live as long as he already had, and none of us knew how our original mutation would affect our life spans. He was already surprisingly old, and lately, it had begun to show; even though his mind and spirit were still as strong as they'd always been, the same couldn't be said for his body. Sensei moved slower, rested a lot more often, and had Leo lead almost all of our practices these days.

I pressed on. "As humans, we'd have the added protection of the law keeping us safe, which would make him happy; you know how much it bothers him that he can't go with us and protect us like he used to. But really, Leo, this isn't something that's just going to vanish. The Utroms didn't set a deadline or anything; this chance isn't going anywhere."

"I know. But are we? I—I have no idea where we go from here if we do this." Leo's expression was frustrated and stricken, and I understood suddenly one of the reasons why this all upset him so much. It was a completely new frontier that none of us knew about completely, that was full of strangers and unknowns; exactly the kind of thing Leo hated.

"We'll figure it out," I said softly. We could, I knew we could; when we needed to, we could work together seamlessly. Watching each other's backs in the human world couldn't be any harder than doing it in the sewers or on the rooftops. "We will, Leo. Together."

"Yeah." Leo composed himself. "We need to talk to Master Splinter and tell him about this."

The sudden topic change was hard to miss, but I let it go; Leo was sometimes as bad as Raph when it came to discussing his emotions, and I knew better than to push. "Alright," I said agreeably. "When?"

"Sometime when Mikey and Raph are out of the Lair."

"When Mikey and Raph…?" I wanted to ask him why he wanted to exclude our brothers, but I figured it was probably for some extremely Leo-like reason that only really made sense to him. If I had to guess, I would say it was because if he was hesitant to get his hopes up, when he normally never thinks about himself, he was _not_ going to risk getting Mikey and Raph's hopes up. Leo's kind of stupidly considerate like that, in his way of protecting us. "I could take them out for a while," I offered. "We could go see April and Casey, maybe go over for a movie night. I could give you a couple hours that way, easy."

Leo looked surprised, his hands dropping to his sides. "Me? I thought you'd want to explain everything to Sensei. I mean, it's—it's your baby, Don…so to speak," he added embarrassedly when he saw me smother a grin. "You're the one who spent two days locked in your lab putting all that information together."

I pleated my sheets in my hands. "Well, ordinarily I would, but—Master Splinter will listen to you. You know how to talk to him, and the kinds of things he would have a problem with, and—"

Leo held up a hand, frowning. "Wait, do you think Master Splinter wouldn't listen to you?" he asked, his voice tinged with disbelief.

This was awkward. "No. I mean, yes, he would, it's just…" I sighed. I didn't want to have to explain it, but Leo had that stubborn look on his face that meant the conversation wouldn't advance until he got his answers. "Look, Master Splinter listens to you more than us; he—he trusts your judgment a bit more. I mean, yes, he listens to me, he trusts my judgment, but he also tends to think that I get too wrapped up in my work and my thoughts to be objective and thorough like you. As for Raph and Mikey, well…they kind of bring that on themselves. We've all done some stupid things in the past, but they tend to do it a little more frequently, and I think Master Splinter sees their times of good judgment as the exception, rather than the rule." I shrugged. "It's because you think so much like him. He knows that, and so it's like…you're a substitute him."

I wished I'd kept my mouth shut instead, because as soon as I finished, Leo's face sort of fell. "That's how you all see me, isn't it?" he asked quietly. "You're serious when you bring up the 'Splinter Jr.' stuff."

"Not as much anymore," I said quickly. "You've become a lot less strict over the years, but…" I winced. I suddenly wished I was either better at lying, or Leo was worse at catching me lie, because I knew this was hurting him. I'd known for a while that he felt alienated from us, and I didn't want to confirm it, but Leo could smell lies, even the white kind, from miles away. And it wasn't like this could be something he hadn't suspected himself. "It…it's not entirely your fault, Leo; that's how you were raised. From the beginning, Master Splinter was molding you to replace him, to take over in leading the family. It's not right or fair, but it's what happened. We don't hold it against you; not even Raph," I added quickly, understanding the disbelieving look on Leo's face. "He won't admit it, but I think he understands. We're used to it; there's us, and then there's Master Splinter, who's on a different plane of things, and then there's you…you're kind of our translator, our connection. You're the middle-ground. And it's not like you take advantage of it. That's why I want you to do this…because you understand what we want _and_ what Sensei wants and worries about."

Leo blinked at me several times, an odd expression on his face. Not for the first time I wished I was better at reading him. His features settled quickly, though, and he nodded hesitantly. "Alright. When do you want me to talk to him?"

Right now?

"Tomorrow night?" I asked hopefully, then glanced at my clock. Ugh. Oh right, it _was_ tomorrow. "Or rather, tonight, since today's tomorrow already?"

Panic and amusement seemed to fight for control of Leo's features before he nodded. "That…should be fine. I'll need your printouts, though. And if you could take care of asking Mikey and Raph…?" he trailed off, looking uncomfortable. "We all know I don't usually advocate going out that much, so it'd be…less suspicious coming from you."

"Sure. No problem." I bit back a yawn and smiled. "Thank you, Leo."

He tried to shrug nonchalantly, but it came out stiff. He smiled deprecatingly. "No need to thank me; it's for all of us, right?"

"Right. _All_ of us."

Leo nodded and turned sharply on his heel, moving silently to the door. Words rose up in me all of a sudden; more than I wanted this, I wanted Leo to want this too. I wanted him to make this decision for himself too, not just for us. I was suddenly tired of him being selfless, tired of being aware of all he had done and given up for us, and _especially_ tired of feeling guilty about it. I wanted to give something back, to try and somehow even the score, to try and pay off some of the debt I—we all—owed him. I was sure, somehow, that this was it; this was my way to help him. Leo would never be able to find out what he wanted to do and be in the life we were living now, but above ground, where there were so many opportunities…I was certain that there, he could find the things he probably didn't even know he wanted.

"Leo."

He paused, looking back at me over his shoulder questioningly.

"I think this could be good for you," I said slowly, fumbling for words. "You could find yourself. Here, you're too busy being what we and Sensei need you to be. Out there, you could just be you. You wouldn't have us holding you back anymore." It sounded better in my head, but I had to try and convey my certainty to him nonetheless.

Leo moved suddenly, until he was standing right in front of me. I jumped slightly, my sleep-muddled brain having trouble processing the quick movement even though my instincts said it was second-nature and nothing to be startled by. Leo reached out and gripped my face gently in his hands, his expression intense.

"You," he said quietly, "are not a burden. None of you are. Don't ever think that. I made my choices on my own, and I don't regret them. Whatever I've given up, whatever doors I had to close, it has been worth it. You all are my life, and there isn't anywhere that I want to be that you are holding me back from." He rested his forehead on mine for a moment, a mimicry of his actions the other day, then abruptly pulled away and was back at the door before I could blink.

"I'm not doing this just for you, or Raph or Mikey or Master Splinter," Leo said lowly. I wasn't sure who he was talking to, me or himself, but I listened anyways. "Part of this…is for me, too." He shook himself.

"Go back to sleep, Don; I'll see you in the morning at practice."

The door closed on his voice, and I was suddenly alone again in the dark, bewildered. I could not for the life of me figure out why Leo had decided he needed to blindside me with his answer in the middle of the night. Couldn't it have waited until morning? Or at least, later in the morning, once the sun was up and I'd had some sleep? Or…was he afraid he'd change his mind and say no if he didn't tell me yes right away?

I didn't think Leo would ever really make sense to me. He'd essentially told me that he _did_ want this chance, but he didn't want to want it. He didn't want to go into this situation, because he was totally unprepared and he knew nothing about it. He didn't want to lose us, as he saw it, and yet even he was unsatisfied with our life in the sewers. And he had said that he didn't see us as a burden, yet I had seen in recent months that his duties were weighing him down, and that he wanted (and needed) some freedom.

I sighed and flopped back down on my bed. It was just contradiction after contradiction with Leo.

All I'd wanted from him was a yes. It had been that simple for me: 'yes, I want this, and here are my reasons why'. But not Leo. For Leo it was 'okay, I guess I can want it, especially if you want me to, but I also don't want to want it, and I won't tell you why'. I could feel a tic beginning at my right eye. I was going to get my answers out of Leo, one way or another…as soon as I was coherent enough to read my brother and really understand him. But at the moment, I was entirely too tired and confused to even try.

Why couldn't all my brothers be as simple to understand and easygoing as Mikey? Mikey wore his thoughts and emotions on his proverbial sleeve, and what few things he did keep to himself were relatively easy to discover and piece together if you knew him well enough…which I did, because he _let_ me know him. Yes, he still surprised me occasionally, whenever he would show glimpses of those parts of him I didn't really understand or know about, but on the whole, _Mikey_ didn't have a problem with me, his _brother_, knowing who he was. Why couldn't Raph and Leo be more like that? Instead, they communicated affection through low-key violence and gave answers to life-changing questions in the middle of the night.

I smashed my pillow over my face and tried to smother myself.

My brothers were going to drive me insane way before my time.

**

* * *

**

I glanced through the mess of snacks Mikey had shoved into my duffel bag and sighed. I was glad he was trying to spare April the burden of satisfying his near-constant appetite, but why did he have to use _my_ bag as a holder for Cheetos and Twinkies? I glared at him mildly. "Is that it?"

Mikey ignored my ire, rifling through yet another cabinet. "Actually, I think there are a couple bags of—"

Okay, enough was enough. "Sorry, I phrased that wrong. That's all we're taking, Mikey," I said firmly, yanking the zipper shut. "You've already got enough food here to feed an army." I frowned at the bag, thinking, then threw it into Mikey's arms. "Actually, since they're your snacks, _you_ can carry the bag."

"What?" Mikey turned around, holding a box of something else sugary. "C'mon, Donnie, it can't be _that_ heavy—" The bag made a satisfying _thump_ as it hit his plastron and dropped him on his butt. "Ow!" He staggered to his feet and hefted the bag, pouting at me before finally registering the weight. "Whoa. Okay, I guess we've got enough."

"Peachy. Then can we _go_ now?" Raph growled from the door. "We were s'posed to be there ten minutes ago, an' Case has prob'ly polished off half the drinks and pizza by now."

I grabbed the DVDs we'd chosen for the night and dragged Mikey behind me. "Yeah, we're coming."

"Hey Leo, aren't you coming too?"

I winced, hoping we could have made it out the door, but Mikey spotted Leo coming out of the dojo and Raph turned to watch him as well. Leo had been waiting in there for us to leave, trying to be least in sight and consequently least in thought so no one would question his absence at the movie night, but no such luck. He glanced at me, then back at Mikey. "I've…got a few more things to finish up, Mikey."

Mikey shrugged. "No biggie. You can catch up, right? We'll probably only have just made it through the previews by the time you get to April's."

"Actually, I was probably going to be a while…"

Leo looked at me again for support, but I wasn't buying it; I knew he was going to talk to Master Splinter, but it had only taken me about ten minutes to explain everything to Leo, and it couldn't take him much longer. Besides, it would look a lot less suspicious if he joined us immediately afterwards, rather than taking the entire night to "finish up a few things".

I glanced at Leo meaningfully, trying to mentally convey the scientifically proven fact that it wouldn't kill him to spend some time with his brothers and have something resembling fun, then gave it up for a lost cause and tried words instead. "We do have a martial arts movie in the line up, Leo," I pointed out, trying to sound persuasive. "Watching it could be educational, like…studying. You could critique their style if they do something wrong."

Leo was facing a three-pronged attack, and all three of us were using different tactics. There was my sad attempt at justifying a movie night (which really shouldn't have to be justified), the knowing look on Raph's face that said he wasn't surprised that Leo was (in Raph's mind) considering blowing us off to train again, and the way the hopeful look on Mikey's face began to slip away with every second Leo hesitated. I don't know what it was that finally worked—but Leo gave in. He did that implied sigh thing he does, where even though he doesn't exhale or even move, his face and posture change just subtly enough that you know he's sighing in his mind, full-blown eyeball roll included, and glanced over at me.

I just tilted my head to the side slightly in a subtle mimicry of a shrug and smiled cheekily at Leo's expression. I wasn't going to pretend that Mikey was the only one who enjoyed actually spending time with Leo outside of training…and I also wasn't going to pretend that I didn't want him to come so that he could tell me how his talk with Master Splinter went, too.

Leo could tell that, I think, because he gave me this Look that said _'I'm on to you, don't think I'm not; and I really ought to say no just to spite you and make you wait until you get back, but I won't'_. Of all of us, Leo has always been the best at managing to convey entire sentences with just a look; except that he would be so determined to get his point across that it would end up becoming a Look, as Mikey called them. My younger brother insisted that Leo's expressions earned capitalization by the sheer force of his attempt at communicating with his eyes alone. Mikey had actually started compiling a list once of all the Looks he had remembered Leo delivering (most of them to him and Raph), and I think he made it to twenty or so before he ran out. Mikey was of the opinion that Leo had learned the Ancient Art of Looking, as he called it, from Master Splinter, and that while the rest of us were being forced to meditate and practice various _kata_ during our private lessons, _that_ was what Sensei was teaching Leo when it was his turn.

Regardless, Leo finally caved and smiled slightly at Mikey.

"Save me some popcorn, hm?"

Leo turned around as soon as he had answered, so he didn't see the way Mikey's face lit up as he processed that Leo had indirectly said 'yes', or the way surprise flitted across Raph's face, a small smile lifting one corner of his mouth before he smothered it with a properly disgusted-looking, low-intensity glare that said _'Can we cut the mushy stuff and go?'_.

I just sighed and smiled wryly. One of these days, someone was going to have to tell Leo just how much he meant to us, even to Raph.

As the three of us headed for the door, I glanced back into the Lair. Leo was watching us leave, waiting until Raph and Mikey were in the tunnel before he headed for Sensei's room, a familiar-looking sheaf of papers suddenly in his hand.

I gave Leo a discreet thumbs-up.

Leo nodded almost imperceptibly, and I watched him disappear into Master Splinter's room and slide the paper door shut behind him. I sighed.

There went everything.

* * *

**Splinter  
**

I waited patiently as my son finished explaining the offer Donatello had received a few days ago, watching him closely and trying to contain my surprise as well as my questions. Leonardo was still and composed, but to a careful eye, a slight hint of tension was obvious in the way he held himself. I wondered again why Donatello had asked Leonardo to speak to me about this rather than coming himself. The part of my mind that had routinely questioned my decision to raise my sons as warriors mused quietly that perhaps it was because I had become too distant, too much a _sensei_, rather than a father…that Donatello no longer knew how to talk to me. Or if perhaps he had sent Leonardo instead because he thought his brother would be better received? I pushed those thoughts away firmly, though the ideas presented were ones I would have to address, and refocused my attention on my son as Leonardo set a sheaf of papers in front of me, explaining that it was a summary of what he had just covered, as well a few other things Donatello wished to be clear for me. He fell silent then, settling back into _seiza_ and gazing at me evenly.

"This is rather unexpected, I must admit, my son," I said finally, running a claw through my whiskers.

Leonardo's slightly wry expression told of his agreement. "I was…surprised as well when Don shared this…proposition with me."

I studied my eldest son. "And what is your opinion of it now, now that your surprise has passed by?"

My son glanced down, his face littered with traces of emotions; that alone told me just how unsettled he still was. "I…I must admit, the idea is intriguing, though not one I have considered for years. And I agree with Don and Leatherhead; it would be safer for all of us, which is a strong advantage in my mind. It's just…I am not certain how I feel about it other than that. It is such a change, such an unprecedented opportunity, and I…find myself cautious to get too attached to this until we examine the idea further."

I had to hold back my surprise at that comment. Considering that Leonardo had just spent nearly twenty minutes explaining the situation and listing details regarding this proposal, and the thick sheaf at my feet containing even more details, I could not see how the idea could be examined any further. Indeed, I could not, at the moment, think of anything that Donatello had missed…and yet Leonardo spoke of further examination.

That struck me as being rather telling. Well-used to reading my most reserved son and what he was trying _not_ to say, I could read the meaning behind his careful words: he was hesitant to get his hopes up. I was interested by that, and secretly relieved; I often thought that Leonardo had grown up too fast, for all that it had been necessary, and to hear that he was restraining hope meant that he was still dreaming. I was, however, also surprised at his admittance of once wishing to become human, though I realized I should not be; just because Leonardo had never been vocal in his displeasure with our lot in life like his brothers did not mean that he had never wished for more as well.

"Caution is always a wise approach to any undertaking, as long as it does not hold you back from acting when you should, or cause you to act too late," I agreed mildly, trying to communicate to my son that he need not always be so hesitant to hope.

"_Hai_." Leonardo nodded in acknowledgment, though he still looked unsettled and vaguely troubled.

"Was that all, my son? Will you perhaps join your brothers at Miss O'Neil's now?" I knew it was not a subtle hint, but I worried at how little time Leonardo spent with his brothers outside of their training.

Leonardo also looked slightly taken aback at what was, for me, a rather blunt question, but recovered quickly. "I…yes, I suppose so. There was just…one more thing, Sensei. This—issue is very near to Don's heart. I can tell that while he's been gathering this information, he's become extremely attached to the idea and the concept of its possibility. He was…having a rather difficult time waiting just for my approval."

I tilted my head to the side and examined my son. "So you suggest I think quickly."

Leonardo ducked his head embarrassedly. "No, I—this is not something to rush, not a decision that should be made lightly, but…" he trailed off, struggling for words.

I decided to rescue him. "But the sooner the better," I finished.

"_Hai_, Sensei; for the sake of Don's sanity." Leonardo sighed with good-natured longsuffering. "And for the sake of mine."

"If your minds are lost, I stand little chance of keeping my own," I said with a chuckle. "In all seriousness, my son, heed me now. I do not promise haste, since as you say, it has no place in such a matter, but I do promise timeliness and honest consideration. Relay that to your brothers."

"…Brother, actually."

I raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"That was one thing I wished to mention, actually, Master Splinter," Leonardo said quietly, shifting slightly. "I—think it would be wise if…actually, I would _ask_ that you not speak of this to Raph or Mikey. I trust Don to be realistic and reasonable—to an extent—but Raph and Mikey…I feel telling either of them about this before you come to a decision would be a mistake."

His words were slow and hesitant, chosen with extreme care, his tone hard to decipher. That in itself made it easy to determine where his thoughts led. It was suddenly much clearer why Michelangelo and Raphael were absent this evening, and why Donatello had been so anxious earlier to get my approval for their movie night. I wondered idly if he had agreed with Leonardo's decision to keep this from their brothers, or if he went along only to appease. "You seek to keep this from them to protect them," I murmured, paw going to my chin. "You believe I will say no."

Leonardo shook his head. "I don't presume to know what you'll decide, Master...but I fully realize that you have the right to say no. I would understand your reasons for it, but I don't think they would."

"And if I were to say no, to withhold my blessing from this venture, what would you do? Merely…sweep this issue under the rug, as it were? Keep the offer, the possibility, secret from Raphael and Michelangelo, never allowing them to know that such a chance existed in the first place?"

Leonardo winced, despite the fact that there was a calm, careful lack of intonation in my voice; over the years, my eldest, at least, had come to realize that it usually meant a wordless suggestion to rephrase or explain one's words. "I have not planned for that yet, but I…I still feel it would be best this way, Sensei. I realize it seems deceptive of me, and—heavy-handed, but—" He glanced up at me intently. "You _know_ how they are, Sensei. If they were to learn of this…they hope for so much already, the two of them especially. Mikey has managed to hold on to his hopes, but Raph…"

My son broke off, clenching his jaw. He shook his head. "Try as I might, I can't protect him from all the disappointments in the world. He won't let me. So many of his hopes have been broken, destroyed…so many. He is angry because we do not fit in, because we aren't accepted…because we likely never will be. And because of that, he is blocked, cut off from so much of life, and so that life just boils around inside of him and becomes anger and violence, because that's the only way he feels he can let it out. If they were to learn of this chance, something they have both hoped for, but then have it fall through…I don't think we could pick up the pieces of either of them." Leonardo bowed his head. "I do not pretend to know how you will choose. I just know that as long as there is the possibility of you saying no—which is your right—there is the possibility of them getting hurt by their own hopes. I beg your indulgence in this, Father. I will deal with the results of such an action, whatever they may be."

I fell silent for several long minutes, my throat tightening at my son's words. He tried so hard to do as I bid him, struggling constantly to balance the roles of brother and leader, teen and adult. He did not hesitate to enforce the rules I gave him and his brothers, even when he knew it would not improve his brothers' opinions of him. It hurt my heart at times. He was such a good son, and it was only recently that I began to realize just what burdens I had placed on him over the years. Like now…even grown, all of them competent adults (when they tried to be so), Leonardo still sought to protect his brothers. I reached out, and Leonardo started when he felt my hand on top of his head. Lifting his face, he looked at me questioningly.

I smiled at him sadly.

"My son…have I ever told you just how much you have exceeded my expectations? Never did I think you would take my orders to protect your brothers to heart so much as you did. It is admirable. But my son…you must understand; Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo are adults, just as you are. Their hopes and dreams and lives are their own, as are how they hold to them and how they protect them. If there is any lesson of mine you have not learned perfectly, I believe it is the lesson of when to let go."

Leonardo cringed slightly, recalling, I knew, those dark months years ago of near-constant anger and rage…and afterwards, shame. While he had overcome his anger, I could not get him to release his shame and regret for his actions, despite my assurances of forgiveness and understanding.

"You cannot protect your brothers forever," I said gently. "Indeed, I believe that is the cause of much of the discord between you and Raphael, that you seek to protect him from so much—whether needs your protection or not. _He_ must be the judge of what is a threat to him and what is not. Whether you realize it or not, Leonardo, you are questioning his skills to protect himself whenever you seek to protect him; and as well as you know your brothers, I know you can understand why that would be something Raphael would take umbrage at."

"I just—"

"Leonardo, what would you do if I were to take your katana from you and order you to remain here in the Lair, because I wished to protect you from all the harm that exists above the surface?"

My eldest son flinched and remained silent, but I knew he had understood the point I was trying to make.

"By trying to protect them from everything you perceive as a threat, you are actually doing them harm," I continued softly. "If I gave you such an order, and you obeyed it faithfully until I was gone, and then went above the surface...you would be in danger. You would not know what threats existed, and so could not prepare for them, and you would be swept away."

I sighed. "I realized after you and your brothers first visited the surface that I could not protect you from that part of the world forever...indeed, I _should_ not. You must realize, my son, that that is exactly what you are trying to do to Michelangelo and Raphael by keeping this issue from them...it is what we all have done to Michelangelo. By protecting him from so much, we deny him the preparation that he needs. We have not protected him from all of the world, but much of it, which is a disservice. He cannot deal with what he cannot face...it is why there is still so much innocence, so much of a child left in him. It is a precious treasure...but it cannot be held onto unless it is locked away, and that is fair to no one. Do you understand, my son? Leonardo, you must start letting them go, as I have done. They are none of them helpless any longer, on any front—physical, emotional, mental or spiritual. Let them fight their own battles."

"Yes, Sensei," Leonardo whispered, his hands fisting on his lap. "I will try."

I fell silent again, trying to read my son. For all that he was much like me, I could not easily deduce what he thought or felt most times; he had taken my lessons on control and reserve to startling lengths, and I feared it caused him harm as he harbored so much inside of himself. But he had given his word to try, so I would bend in return.

"I will do as you ask, my son, and keep my counsel to myself until I am ready to share my decision, going only to you or Donatello if I have questions on the matter," I said finally. "I will leave the decision up to you, whether you wish to tell your other brothers or not. However, in return, I ask that you meditate on what I have said and what I have charged you with; of the few lessons I have left to teach you, my son, letting go when necessary is one of the most important ones."

"I understand. Thank you, Sensei."

Leonardo bowed, then backed up and slipped out of my room, closing the door soundlessly behind him. I heard his footsteps pad almost silently away, and then I heard the familiar metallic sigh of the Lair door opening and closing. I smiled, silently wishing my son a pleasant evening with his brothers.

I stood with a sigh, moving the few feet to my meditation table and wincing as my bad leg protested more than usual. What used to bother me only when rain or snow threatened seemed to ache almost constantly these days. I pushed it out of my mind, aware that my aches and pains were like my scars, marks of a life lived and lessons learned. I lit my candles and a single stick of incense, rearranging the items on my table until I realized I had procrastinated enough.

What I had to think about could not be put off any longer.

My sons as humans…the idea was staggering, and yet, I had to set aside my first reaction of alarm and refusal and consider the issue fairly. Even beyond owing it to my sons as their father, I had promised Leonardo I would be reasonable. It was difficult, though; a human life is so different from the one we had lived. How could my sons be human _and_ ninja? My conscience chastised me for that thought, pointing out that my beloved Master Yoshi had not had any difficulty with it, nor had The Ancient One. And yet…theirs were different times, and Japan was a much different place than New York. Still, my sons had good points in their argument. It truly would be safer; my sons would have protection denied to them now, protection both of the law and of relative anonymity among the many citizens of New York. They would no longer be recognizable to our enemies, and even if they were recognized, they could not be touched; society would know nothing of their past, nor would they believe it if they did, and so enemies like Karai and Bishop would no longer be able to strike at my sons without fear of reprisal.

But still…the world above was a dangerous place. I knew well the kinds of things my sons protected humans from, the dangers humans faced from their own kind. The father in me balked at the thought of my sons living in such a world, yet I knew they could easily protect themselves. As for the rest of it…Donatello had me completely overwhelmed. He had approached this as carefully and thoroughly as a _shougi_ master, had anticipated every issue, every objection I might have, and had found ways to counter each one. My sons could survive in the human world, and thrive, could find employment and places to live.

I raised my eyes to look at the portrait of my Master Yoshi that hung in front of me. Even though I knew he could not hear me, speaking my thoughts to him often cleared them and helped me come to a decision.

"My dear Master Yoshi…I am completely overcome. My Donatello has an undeniably strong argument, and as a father, how can I deny my sons something that would make them happy, and keep them safe?" I sighed and shook my head. "At least now I can understand what I have seen in my meditation recently."

The previous week, while meditating, I had visited the astral plane as usual. After how many times we had faced assaults or enemies on the astral front in the past, I began to set my mind loose in the astral plane at least once a week, regardless of how such visits tired me. I would go as deep in my meditation as I could, floating about the astral plane and concentrating on my sons, searching our paths for danger. Recently, I had been searching and had found myself in the midst of a vision. A road had suddenly appeared in front of me, with five glowing strands lined up next to each other on the road. I had recognized the auras of my sons and myself almost instantly and pushed forward, following the strands. Shortly down the "road," the path had suddenly vanished into a thick cloud of smoke, through which a dragon, the symbol of change, slowly wound back and forth. I had seen the same thing each time since then, and the smoke never cleared or thinned. Of all the visions I had received over the years, this was one of the clearest, and it told me something I did not want to know…

Change was unavoidable. It would soon be upon us, and yet, as the lack of visibility told me, it still depended on several decisions that had yet to be made. Regardless, I was fairly certain what it might mean, though more because of my father's intuition than my foresight as a master of Ninjutsu. The day I had dreaded for years was finally at hand; I would soon have to let my sons go.

I had set the vision aside, telling myself that there was still time, that my path and my sons' would certainly continue together for a while yet…but it seemed they would not continue together for as long as I had hoped.

Everything was clear now; what change awaited us, and why I had not been able to see it coming. Who could anticipate such a thing? I knew I could not go through this change alongside my sons. Even beyond it being time for them to live on their own without my guidance, I was weary. Our life had tired me, and I was ready to "retire", as it were, and spend the rest of my days in peace and quiet. I raised my eyes to meet my Master Yoshi's again.

"I have come to the end of another era in my life, Master Yoshi. My sons…I must let them go now. This is not an opportunity that I can, in good conscience, deny them. And yet…it is so hard. The human world is a dangerous place, and I do not know where such a change will lead them, if they will be happy and healthy. But I cannot keep them. Their lights are being smothered here. Indeed, I begin to fear that despite—or perhaps because of—how I have raised them, I have harmed them. Michelangelo is still so much a child; the innocence I sought to protect, I now fear will hurt him if—_when_—it is shattered by the harshness of the world. Raphael is so angry in and at the shadows, angry at the restrictions of our way of life. Donatello, I believe, is the best off, calm and accepting…though he pulls away too often, turning to his inventions for the freedom he cannot find here. And Leonardo…my Leonardo…I only now realize how my good intentions have damaged him. The wise man knew what he spoke of when he remarked that good intentions pave the road to hell…Leonardo has been bent greatly under the weight of the responsibility that I have charged to him. I fear for him during this period of change; if the four of them do not stay together, I fear he will not know what to do. I have made him so tied to his brothers that I do not think he knows how to take care of _himself_."

My bad leg protested suddenly, and I rubbed it gently with a sigh. "I do not know what I can do for him now," I continued, "besides reversing things and asking his brothers to care for him now in turn…if he will let them. Whatever happens to them now, they must be each others' strength." In my musings, I imagined that my Master Yoshi, had he known me when I had sentience, would have been as surprised as I was at my sudden decision. "I believe…I believe I will give them my blessing in this venture. It is time and past for me to let them go, and they have good friends in this city, friends who will look after them and guide them in my absence. They know all that there is to know about the darkness in the human world, and as such, I believe there is little that could take them by surprise. They need this change, and if they can stay together and learn to live as humans, I believe they will thrive."

The difficult part, I knew, would be the restrictions that they could not see, things such as jobs and bills, things we had heard Ms. O'Neil and Mr. Jones speak of but had not had to deal with in our way of life. (Then there were bigger issues, like laws that dissuaded travelling by rooftops and assault, however well-intentioned…those would be more difficult for my sons to adjust to.) But those were small things, and with his obvious attention to detail, I knew that Donatello could teach his brothers what they needed to know.

And I still had teaching that needed to be done as well. Even before this chance had entered our lives, I had not expected to have much more time with my sons. I had long since been planning to "retire", and merely wanted to wait for the right time…which had found me, rather than the other way around. My sons were grown, and I had taught them nearly everything I knew. They had gone as far in their training as I could take them, the process sped along by their training with the Ninja Tribunal; indeed, their time with the Tribunal had set them years ahead on my "lesson plans" in terms of physical and spiritual training, even considering that they lost their powers after they lost their _chi_-focusing amulets. A few lessons of my lessons still remained, though they were more in the realm of the heart and mind than the physical.

"Yes…I believe my time here is done," I told the portrait quietly. "This life has become a bit too difficult for me. Too many hard years in inhospitable places, though my Donatello has done much to make our homes more comfortable. Perhaps I shall go to my friend the Daimyo in the Battle Nexus, and see if he has room for an old rat whose sons have outgrown him…"

I shook my head and leaned forward to blow out my candles and douse the incense. "I will speak of this more to you tomorrow, Master Yoshi, but I must turn in now…these old bones need more rest than they used to, and I have much to do and think about tomorrow. There is much to get in order, much to plan for and establish…and I must decide how I will tell my sons my answer."

As the smoke from the candles and incense swirled upwards, I gazed at it, able to see clearly through it to what lay beyond, and nodded to myself.

This was the right decision. I finally felt at peace with what I had seen, my understanding banishing the concern I had felt at my visions. This change would be good for my sons…and I would ensure that they would be prepared for it.

I had made the right choice as a leader, and more importantly, as a father.

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**A/N: Oi. Another long one. (36 pages!) . And still no Mikey point of view! I am sorry about that, by the way. Originally it was just going to be Don, Leo and Master Splinter, but then Raph decided he was tired of waiting and forced his way into the chapter. But don't worry, there will be some Mikey in the next chapter, I promise. Also, please don't think that I'm underestimating Mikey or Raph by not having them guess why Leo is asking what he is; I know they're smart, but think about it. Completely changing your species and mutating into a human? How could they think that that is why Leo's asking? People never guess the really out-there answers for other's motivations, so I think it'd be a lot more likely that they just think Leo's being philosophical than that he actually knows there's a way for them to be human.**

**Anyways, let me know what you guys think! Are you still interested? Is everyone still in character? If this chapter was slow for you, I'm sorry, but 'twas necessary; there's a lot for them all to think about. There will be much less thinking and much more talking and action next time, don't worry. Sorry again for the delay, I hated taking so long, but I wanted this to be a great chapter if I was going to make you read so much. Please review and let me know how I did! **


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer**__: Alright, this is the last one I'm doing, and then you'll just have to refer back. I don't own the TMNT; I just play with them when I'm bored._

_**Announcement! For those of you who don't normally read these notes at the beginning (and I totally don't blame you if you don't), please read at least the second paragraph; it contains a few details about this story's timeline and past that I want people to keep in mind. Thank you!**_

_Once again I apologize profusely for the lateness of this chapter. I completely forgot that I didn't have any of it written, and also forgot just how long it takes me to write a 30-plus-page chapter from scratch. (.) I really hate leaving you guys hanging for so long. And since I head back to college this weekend, it's probably going to be more of the same. I'm not going to try and set any more deadlines for when chapters will come out, because I always seem to guess wrong and I have no way of telling what my workload will be like this semester. So instead, I'm going to try and start posting progress reports on my profile on . Check on there every few days and I'll try and give guesstimates of how I'm doing on the chapters. I'm pretty sure that I'll be able to do better than an update a month, because I'm only taking 15 credit hours this semester, and only 3 of my classes are English classes, so there should be fewer papers to distract from my story. Hopefully._

_Just to clear a few things up, in case I haven't made them clear enough: the guys are 21 years old. I took a while to look at the past seasons of TMNT, and kind of figured that the guys would probably be about 17 or 18 by the end of the Fast Forward season; time has to pass, and I find it kind of hard to believe that everything that happened in all those seasons took place in less than a few years. So yeah, 17-18 by the end of the Fast Forward season, and then three more years passed. Also, I realize now that I forgot to write it in, but Casey and April are married; that's another thing I find hard to believe wouldn't happen after a while. That and I'm a sucker for happy endings, even if you can't tell that by reading my stories. XD If you guys have any more questions, let me know, but bear in mind that I am slowly going to fill in bits and pieces of the guys' past throughout the story; nothing really momentous happened, but I will give you an idea of what they've been doing._

_I'm sorry again about making you guys wait so long, but I'm hoping that the chapter length will make up for it. This chapter kind of got away from me; I was hoping to finally get into some plot development and action, but Mikey and Raph decided that they had a few things they wanted to say, and this is the result. They took over the entire chapter. They're really rather pushy, but given that I'm the one that put them in this situation, I suppose I can't complain too much about them having a lot to say about it. Anyways, here's the chapter, and I hope you enjoy it._

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**Michelangelo**

I was seriously worried about Leo. Big bro had been acting really weird for the past few days. I mean, _weird_ weird. Like, being even quieter than usual, looking kinda spaced out all the time, and hardly ever being here. He obviously had something big on his mind, since his expression was always a dazed version of his "pondering" look, but he wouldn't say anything.

To anyone. At all.

Did I mention that it was driving me nuts?

I hate secrets when I'm not in on 'em. Especially when Leo has them. I mean, you know Leo has to have secrets; everyone does. But you can't _know_ know, 'cause he's Leo, and he could know that you were like—the alien love-child of Britney Spears and a Triceraton, and you'd never see it in his face. He's like the Fort Knox of secret keeping. So for him to be weirded out enough to look like he's got a secret…you know it's gotta be big. And juicy. And I wanted to know.

Unfortunately, Leo's never been a loose-lips kinda guy. I mean, he wouldn't be if he had lips. So I guess…he's not a loose-beak kinda guy? Whatever. Either way, to make it even worse, Donnie was being kinda weird too, and he wouldn't say why either. Whatever it was, they were in on it together…at least, I was pretty sure they were. Donnie kept sending weird looks in Leo's direction all the time, while Leo just kind of avoided him.

For _two whole days_. And I couldn't even bother either of them about it, 'cause Leo kept taking off for runs, and he knew the sewers better than anyone, so my chances of finding him were zero, and Don was tinkering in his lab the whole time, which meant I'd get my shell handed to me if I went in there.

In my defense, none of the stuff usually looked all that breakable; that's why I played with it. If something was powerful enough to—I dunno, splice atoms or whatever, you'd think it could put up with a little shaking. But nooo. Seriously, if you don't want anyone touching your stuff, don't make it shiny and cover it with buttons. It's as simple as that.

But back to Don and Leo. Whatever the two of them were freaking out about, the morning after that second day, they were suddenly just over it. Raph had gone and pestered Leo the night before, then came back looking grumpy—well, grumpier than usual—and said that Leo was being really weird, but he was gonna go talk to Donnie and stop being _as_ weird.

Helpful, huh?

I kept my eyes open, but nothing else really happened the next day. Actually, it was the complete opposite; nothing happened at all. It was quiet…too quiet. Leo was gone most of the day again, training runs through the sewers, while Raph hung out in the dojo and Donnie kept putzing around in his lab, though he actually came out for food a couple times. And Sensei just stayed in his room meditating or whatever all day, and he only finally came out around dinner.

I jumped him right away. I was bored outta my shell, and I needed someone to talk to or I was gonna go nuts.

"Hey, Master Splinter!" I plopped down at the kitchen table while Sensei poured himself some tea. "Have fun meditating? Good vibes and everything?"

Sensei brought his tea to the table and sat down with me. "It was…helpful, my son. I had some concerns that I needed to address, and I was able to find the answers and assurances that I sought." He took a sip of tea and raised an eyebrow. "And you, my son, were rather quieter than usual today, so yes, I had…"good vibes"; peaceful ones, as well," he said wryly.

I grinned. It was hard to slip things past Sensei (though I never stopped trying), so I wasn't surprised that he had noticed I'd been lying low. I knew if I wanted to bug Leo or Don for information, I had a lot better chance of getting answers if I hadn't pissed 'em off recently. "You know me, I like making sure people can enjoy some peace and quiet."

If he wasn't too calm and collected for it, I think Sensei would've snorted at that point. "Indeed," he replied, his other eyebrow crawling up to join the other one. "I have noticed that about you." He shook his head and drank some more tea, then glanced around the air, sniffing slightly. "Michelangelo, where is Leonardo?"

I didn't bother asking how he knew Leo was gone. Sensei's just like that. "Uh, training run, I think. He oughta be back soon, he's been gone a couple hours and it's almost dinner time." I grinned. "Tonight's pasta night, Sensei!"

"I look forward to it, my son," Sensei said, smiling. His eyes narrowed slightly. "Your brother has been absent rather often lately, has he not?"

"Who, Leo?" I asked. When Sensei nodded, I shrugged. "I guess. He's been bugging out for training runs a lot more often, that for sure. Something's up with him an' Donnie. Raph said they're over it, though. Do you know what was bugging Leo, Master Splinter?"

Sensei sighed and stared at his tea, shaking his head. "I do, and yet I do not, Michelangelo."

Man, why was _everyone_ being cryptic lately? "Come again, Sensei?"

"I know of the matter that concerns your brother, but as for what issues he has with it…" Sensei sighed. "He did not wish to share his feelings, so I did not press the matter; and as such, I am uncertain as to what is bothering him. Your brother is very good at keeping such things to himself."

I snorted. "You're telling me. So…what _is_ the current bug in Leo's shell?" Master Splinter kept everyone's secrets, but there was always a chance that I could at least get a couple hints from him.

Sensei glanced at me, then shook his head, looking oddly disappointed, though I didn't think it was at me. "If your brother has not told you, it is not my place to bring it up. But I believe that you will learn the reason soon enough." Sensei finished his tea and stood, placing his cup in the sink before walking past me. He set a fuzzy hand on my head, and I peered up at him. "When your brother returns, please inform him that I wish to speak with him."

"You got it, Master Splinter." I watched Sensei head back to his room, trying not to groan. Why couldn't I live with people who actually just talked and answered questions with real, understandable answers?

Man, no wonder gurus like Master Splinter and Leo normally live alone on mountains; people probably kick 'em outta town 'cause no one can understand what the shell they're saying.

Leo didn't get back for almost another hour, and by then I was just about going insane. I had a feeling that Master Splinter was gonna tell us something once Leo got back, or he was gonna make Leo (and possibly Donnie) tell us whatever it was that was making them act so weird. By the time Leo finally got back, I dragged him across the Lair and shoved him into Sensei's room, then sat around and fidgeted some more.

It was ten minutes before Leo came out of Sensei's rooms, and he glanced around the Lair, smiling when he saw me. "Mikey, would you mind getting Raph down here? Don and I have something to—"

"On it!" I vaulted over the back of the couch and ran up to Raph's room, launching myself at the door. "Raph!"

I could hear growling from the inside, probably because of the thump of me hitting his door. "What?"

I flailed at the door. Man, why did he always lock it? I hadn't booby-trapped his room in years; talk about holding a grudge. "Get your shell out here! Leo said he and Don have something they want to talk to us about."

The door narrowly missed destroying my beautiful face in the next few seconds as Raph shoved it open. He glanced over the railing at Don and Leo, who were huddled around some papers talking about something, then at Sensei, who was sitting in his chair waiting. Raph growled again. "Always frickin' the last to know."

"Hey, at least we're finally gonna know," I said brightly, grabbing Raph's arm and trying to drag him towards the stairs. "That is, y'know, if we _go down there_."

Raph shook his arm. "Yeah, I get it, Mikey, stop hanging on me."

I thundered down the stairs in front of him and reclaimed my spot on the couch. Raph finally ambled over as well, leaning against the back of the couch and scowling. Sensei nodded to both of us, then looked up at Don. "Donatello? If you would, kindly explain to your brothers what I was told earlier this week."

Don nodded and coughed, shuffling some papers in his hands. "Okay. Well, I…no, we…"

Leo coughed quietly, raising his eyebrows. "You got a call from Leatherhead…"

"Right." Don looked relieved that someone had given him a place to start. "I got a call from Leatherhead at the beginning of the week, and he brought something up that is truly remarkable. He…" Don made a face and slumped in place slightly. "Well, since there isn't really any way to ease into this, I guess I'll just get straight to the point: the Utroms have a way to turn us human, and they want to know if we're interested."

I'd never believed that whole "hear a pin drop" thing, but seriously, right then, it would've sounded like a bomb exploding in the Lair. I know my mouth was hanging open, and a whole flock of birds prob'ly could've flown in and still had plenty of room to chill. Raph looked like someone had punched him in the face (at least, the way he looks after he gets punched but before he gets angry), and Leo's hands had a death grip on his arms, even though he didn't look all that surprised. Sensei just nodded calmly, but honestly, he sees everything coming from like, miles away, so that was to be expected. But really—we could be human? They could _do_ that? I mean, I knew the Utroms were awesome and crazy smart and regularly built the kind of stuff that made Donnie drool, but—dude. I wasn't big on science, and even _I_ knew it had to be really, really hard to turn mutant turtles into humans.

I pulled my jaw back up. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. I won't bore you with the specific details—"

"Which we totally appreciate," I pointed out.

Don rolled his eyes and kept going. "But it's genuinely possible. The ooze that first mutated us was actually the precursor to a second mutation, since the Utroms created two oozes with the purpose of turning animals into humans in order to allow them to speak to humans and encourage them to stop devastating the environment and its wildlife. Leatherhead has actually already gone through with it; that was the real cause behind his extended vacation. The Utroms are ready any time we are, all we need to do is decide. It's a permanent deal, though," he said suddenly, glancing at all of us. "There's no going back after this. Our DNA will be stable after the mutation, don't worry, but such a change is massive on scales that you can't even imagine. Something like this affects every aspect of your physiology, which means it will place a lot of strain on your body. We'll recover from it just fine, Leatherhead said he was back up and walking again in a week, but it's going to take a lot out of us. Another mutation from human back to turtle—or rat—wouldn't be possible; it would probably irreparably damage our DNA, if not deconstruct it completely. This is a one-way trip, so be sure about what you want."

Sensei cleared his throat quietly, and we all looked over at him. "I wish for you to know that you have my support and approval if you wish to undertake this venture, my sons. I agree with Donatello in that this is an offer for a safer, better future."

Human? The Utroms seriously had a way for us to become _human_? If they weren't squishy little squid guys I would seriously kiss them for this. _And_ Sensei was okay with it?Forget being flabbergasted, I was _stoked_!

Shell, this was _beyond_ the coolest thing ever. We could be _human_. No more living in the sewers, no more having to wear fifty layers of clothing just to walk outside…we could do whatever we wanted. We could walk down the street, or go to skate parks, or the movies, or the mall, or anything! It was like two years' worth of Christmases and birthdays all at once. I'd wanted to be human ever since I was a turtle tot, once I'd really understood what our kind of different meant and how much better things could be topside, but I'd never thought it was possible. And now that it was…dude! I mean, I just…_dude_. "I'm in!" I crowed, bouncing in my seat. "Sign me up!"

Don snorted, but gave me a warm smile. "Glad to hear it, Mikey. I'm all for this too, in case you couldn't guess." He glanced over at Raph and Leo. "Guys?"

Leo and Raph looked at each other, Raph raising an eye ridge. Something passed between them, and Leo looked up at Don. "It's a yes from me as well," he said quietly.

I couldn't believe it! Even Leo was on board; this was awesome! Now it was just down to—

"Yeah, why the hell not."

Best. Day. _Ever_!

Don looked at us and blinked a few times, then grinned. "You're all sure? Great! Great. Okay, I'll call Leatherhead back and get everything set up. I'll let you guys know what I find out. In the meantime, I need you guys to start going through your stuff and figuring out what you want to take with you."

"Wait, what?" I frowned and raised my hand. "Um, question. Are we going somewhere?"

"We have to move, Mikey," Don replied, looking confused at my confusion. "I mean, the Lair is hardly the place for such an involved procedure, so we're going to have to relocate for a while. We'll probably be staying at Casey's grandmother's farm for a while before and after the change, in order to prepare and recuperate. And then after that, we're going to have to find apartments in the city. We can't exactly live here as humans and list it as our home address, after all."

"Oh. Right." Wow. I hadn't really thought of that. That…kinda sucked. I liked where we lived. It was the biggest of all our Lairs so far, and a lot nicer. And it was home. Next to our first home, the one destroyed by Mousers, we'd lived in the water plant the longest. On the other hand, we were gonna get to live in real homes, apartments with things like carpet and new appliances and heat. Not that we didn't have those things now; I mean, Donnie was our resident genius and handyman, and he had fixed the Lair up with just about everything, but in regular homes everything would work all the time, and if it didn't, we wouldn't have to go dumpster-diving in a junk yard to look for a replacement.

Sensei nodded and got to his feet, wincing slightly. That was another thing I was glad for; it'd be a lot easier for Master Splinter to live in a nice apartment than a drafty old water plant, no matter how nicely Don had tricked the place out. "We will leave the preparations to you, Donatello. Please keep us informed of the developments and plans, and let us know what we can do to aid you."

Don nodded, but I could tell his brain was already miles away. "Sure, Sensei. For now though, it's just what I mentioned, figuring out what things you'll want to keep and bring with you. I'll need to do some tests and take some samples from everyone sometime in the next few days as well; I want to have some base data to go off of so that the Utroms know what is normal for our systems and what isn't, and so we'll know what to look for if there are any complications. Also, if I can get that data and some from after we undergo the mutation, I can compare the two and see just what changes have occurred and to what extent."

"We will all cooperate with whatever tests you wish to run, Donatello," Sensei responded, looking at me and Raph in case we didn't know who 'we all' included. "Within reason. Now, Leonardo, I would like to speak with you for a moment, if I may," Sensei said quietly, heading for his room.

Leo got to his feet, glancing at Don quickly. "_Hai_, Sensei." He and Sensei disappeared into Sensei's room.

Donnie didn't even notice them leave. "I can't wait to see how this will affect our combat abilities and overall body proportions…"

I cut Don off before he dissolved into a nerd rant. "_I_ can't wait to see what we look like! I bet I—"

Wait a minute. Hit the rewind button. I was getting major déjà vu. When had I—Leo, that sneaky little turtle! Now it made sense why Leo had suddenly asked whether or not I ever wanted to be human the other day. I'd thought he was just on one of those random philosophical kicks he goes on, but he must've known about this before the rest of us.

Dude, so not fair.

Don was already wandering back to the Nerd Cave, so I jumped up to ask him a couple more questions. Why did Leo know before we did? What did LH look like as a human? Where were we gonna live? And most importantly, who was gonna get the video game system when we moved? 'Cause I was pretty sure we weren't gonna fit in one apartment, but I seriously had more of an emotional attachment to it than my bros.

But then came some interference, in the form of someone big, green, and unhappy.

Raph looked like he had a bone to pick with someone, but since his normal verbal punching bag was talking to Sensei, he turned around and stomped after Donnie instead.

I, of course, didn't want to interrupt anyone's conversations…so I snuck after Raph to eavesdrop by the door of Donnie's lab.

What? No one was telling me anything, and at least by eavesdropping I wouldn't be interrupting, _and_ I wouldn't have to bug anyone for answers later. If you thought about it, I was actually being really thoughtful.

I peeked around the doorway of Donnie's lab, where the boy genius himself was flipping through some CD cases in his desk drawer while Raph stood by him with his arms crossed, glaring at Donnie's shell.

"You told him first."

Don sighed. "Told who what first?"

"Leo. This whole—becomin' human thing comes up, and you told him about it first."

"Yes, I did."

"Before ya even thought of tellin' me or Mikey?" I grinned slightly, surprised that Raph had thought about me even while he was pissed.

Don shook his head, reaching over to turn on his computer. "No, actually. I thought of Leo after I thought of you."

"Then why—?"

"Because I knew how you would react," Don said, cutting him off. "I was fairly certain that neither you nor Mikey would have any objections to this, but Leo would, so obviously he was the one to go to first because I would have the most work to do with him. Also, we were going to have to get Master Splinter to go along with it, which meant convincing him, which meant putting together a solid argument. Hence, Leo."

"Hey, I can argue just as well as him."

That was a fact. Raph could win the gold medal in arguing…with words or fists.

Don looked like he really, really wanted to make a sarcastic comment about that, but he just cleared his throat and kept going. "Very true, but you can't really debate to save your life, Raph."

"'Scuse me?"

"There's a difference between arguing and debating," Don said. He leaned against his desk and folded his arms, falling into the tone of voice he used whenever he was gonna give some sort of lecture. "Arguing is what you and Leo do almost every time you talk to each other; it's taking your opinion and beating the other person about the head with it while utterly ignoring their views, unless of course you're trying to use their views to tear them down. Debating, however, requires finesse. It requires have a solid argument—as in a point to be made—with logical progression and pertinent examples. I needed Leo for that, because to win a debate, you have to know who you're debating against and what their views are, so that you can come up with counters to them. And who knows Master Splinter better than Leo? Leo knows how Master Splinter thinks, the kinds of things that bother him, the problems he would have with something like this. He could bring those things up to me, and I could figure out a solution or a counterargument." He shook his head, looking exasperated. "I didn't do it to slight anyone, Raph; I did it because it was the best—and possibly only—way of getting this to work."

That actually made a lot of sense. Leo and Master Splinter think a lot alike, and since Leo's never come home drunk (cough _Raphael_ cough) or switched Sensei's meditation candles with trick candles (which was _so_ totally worth the fifty flips I got for it), it makes sense that Master Splinter would listen to him more than me or Raph, or both of us.

Raph blinked. "Oh."

Donnie rolled his eyes and snorted. "Yeah. 'Oh'. Sorry to head you off, Raph. I didn't mean to interrupt a perfectly good rant with something as ridiculous as logical reasons for my actions."

Ooo, score one for Donnie! I tried not to laugh. I loved it when Don got all sarcastic and turned it on Raph, 'cause Raphie never saw it coming. Don's eyes flickered towards the door, and I winced. So much for not bein' noticed. I was busted. Don raised an eye ridge at me, but didn't say anything, and glanced back at Raph. "You could yell at me some more, if it'll make you feel better."

"Shaddup," Raph growled. "I just—look, Leo pulls that 'I didn't tell ya for your own good' shit enough as it is. I wasn't gonna have you start the same thing."

"I know, Raph," Don sighed, turning around to sit at his computer. "Just try and think for a minute next time, before you come in here to bite my head off for something I didn't even do. And try putting yourself in Leo's shoes, too; crazy as it sounds, you might understand the things he does if you thought about them long enough."

Fat chance. Good effort, Donnie, but fat chance.

Raph just snorted.

"Yeah, I know, it's one of my more ridiculous ideas," Don responded. He shook his head. "Look, I'm going to call April later when she gets back home and talk to her about this, but do you want to head over to their place and talk to Casey now? I'd appreciate it if you'd ask him about letting us stay at his grandmother's farm for a bit while we transition between everything. I don't know if the Utroms will be docking a ship there at the farm, or if we'll be transported into orbit for the actual mutation process itself, but either way, we'll end up needing to spend some time up there at the farm. And we'll need a legitimate place to receive mail and phone calls while we set everything up."

"Set up what?" Raph asked.

"There is a considerable amount of details involved in entering society, Raph. Social Security numbers, birth certificates, driver's licenses—even though we can rely on the public transportation of New York, we'll still need them for identification—jobs, apartments, bank accounts…it'll take a while, and I don't want to risk anyone tracking our number back here to the Lair. I don't know how long we'll need, but—"

"Yeah, alright, alright, I'll ask 'im. It ain't like he'd say no, but I'll talk to him 'bout it anyways."

"Thanks, Raph. If…if you want, I can let Leo know you want to talk to him later."

I tried not to laugh. 'Talk', right. More like a louder, angrier variation of talking known as 'yelling.'

"Don't bother. I'll catch up with 'im at some point." I slipped backwards as Raph started to turn, then ducked around the corner and dove into the kitchen while I waited for him to leave. Once again being extremely ninja-y, I snuck back over to Don's lab as soon as the door closed behind Raph.

"Anything you'd like to complain about, Mikey?" Don asked when I knocked carefully, not looking away from his computer screen. "Or did Raph pretty much cover it?"

"I think Raph took care of it." I walked over and grabbed Don's extra chair, sitting down backwards. "Besides, he does yelling better than I do."

Don looked kinda guilty. "I can understand why you might be upset that I told Leo first, but honestly, it's not like you never found out, and it really was the optimal way to go about the situation—"

"Dude, dude, calm down," I said, holding my hands up in the 'I come in peace' position. "I don't have any real problem with that." I folded my arms on the back of the chair and rested my chin on them. "It makes sense to me. I'm just glad we get to do this; I don't really care who ya told first, bro. Just one question…how long have you been sitting on this? 'Cause I wouldn't've lasted a day."

Don grinned weakly. "Five days. It nearly drove me insane. Leatherhead contacted me about it back on Monday, and I spent all of Monday and Tuesday putting my information together. I told Leo on Wednesday, and he got back to me about it on Friday and talked to Sensei about it the next night, when we left for movie night at April and Casey's. And now here we are." He groaned and leaned back in his chair, rubbing a hand over his face. "Longest week of my life. I don't think I've been this on edge in years. And it's only going to get busier for about the next month or so."

I made a face. "What, really? All that stuff you told Raph about is really gonna take that long?"

"Probably. Federal institutions, especially ones involving copious amounts of paperwork, aren't exactly known for their speedy service; even if we have the Utroms' help in that area, it will still take a while. But in all honesty, we'll probably need that time. We'll have to recover from the mutation, get used to moving around in human bodies, and we'll have to figure out what our story is."

"What our story is for what?"

"For why we're only just now appearing in society." Don fiddled with a pen. "Humans are naturally curious creatures, and five people suddenly appearing out of nowhere, with no recorded past…it's going to raise a lot of questions." The pen slowly crept up to his mouth and he began gnawing on the end of it. "We're going to have to think things through very carefully."

Raising a hand, I swatted the pen away from his mouth. "Any ideas so far?"

Don glared at me and grabbed his pen again. "Fortunately, our past is actually fairly believable already, with some editing and omissions. The four of us were orphans, and we never knew our parents. Sensei stumbled across us one day and decided to adopt us and care for us as his own, but he didn't want to register us because he thought that the officials might take us away, even though he felt he was equipped to give us a better life than the ones we would have had as orphans living on the streets or in a government institution."

I opened my mouth to make a comment, the closed it; Don was right. That was actually all true. I mean, people weren't gonna ask why we'd all been orphaned, 'cause that was a touchy subject, and even if they did, we could just say we didn't remember our parents. As for why Sensei didn't register us…well, if people thought we meant Child Services instead of creepy scientists like Bishop and orphanages instead of labs or zoos, hey, that was up to them. We didn't have to correct 'em. I grinned at Don. "You're channeling your inner Leo, bro," I teased. "Normally he's the only one I know who can tell the truth and still leave so much out." Leo did that way too often in my opinion, telling us something that really was absolutely true while he was still holding back parts of it. It usually happened when he was hurt, the jerk. He never seemed to realize that hiding injuries just meant he'd end up passing out or getting sick at some point and we'd find out eventually; it just wasn't possible to hide something from a house full of ninjas.

"It's harder than you might think," Don sighed, popping the pen out of his mouth and scratching down a few more notes. "I know Leo won't want to lie to people, regardless of the fact that that would make things easier. And to be honest, I don't really want to either, because if we ever meet people we can trust with the whole truth…well, relationships that are begun with lies never go anywhere. On top of that, we've got twenty years of our lives to make up, and yet we don't have any pictures or home videos, at least, not ones that we can show anyone. We also have to explain our training, because even if we try to keep it under wraps, it's going to come out at some point. There's a lot about us to explain."

"And the mutation won't show up or anything? We won't end up doing blood tests some day or whatever and find out our blood glows green or something?" I asked. "'Cause that happened to Spiderman. They could see the mutated cells in his blood sample." That particular comic edition was one I remembered really well, and I frowned at Don. "Peter Parker got in big trouble over that; it almost ended up blowing his cover, and I don't want _my_ mild-mannered alter ego to get put in a lab 'cause there are—I dunno, glowing blood cells in me or whatever."

Don laughed hard enough that he snorted. "Trust me, Mikey, the Utroms are a lot more scientifically advanced than the creators of Spiderman. I think they have a firmer grip on genetic mutation than a bunch of comic book creators. The mutagen will be completely absorbed in the process of the mutation. The best way I can think of to explain it is this; the mutagen is like gas, and the mutation itself is a car. The mutation is powered by the mutagen—in this case, the ooze—and uses it up over the course of the process. None of the mutagen will be left over floating in our veins or anything like that. I imagine that we might give off some radiation or energy readings as a result of the change, but those will fade away within a day or two, I'd guess. And once our DNA stabilizes after the mutation, it will be wholly human DNA, so there won't even be any genome anomalies to attract anyone's attention. If there are, I wouldn't think it would be anything more than a slight deviation in our core body temperatures and exothermic reactions; Leatherhead explained that we won't shift over to a wholly endothermic system, but we'll be closer than we are now. However, considering that there are plenty of people who run hotter or colder than the average body temperature, it shouldn't be that noticeable or cause any problems. Of course, if it's seen that the four of us run under the average temperature—Sensei at least is already warm-blooded, so his results won't change because of the mutation—well, that might raise some questions, but stranger things have been known to happen. If necessary, we could pass it off as being a result of growing up in less than optimal conditions. In fact, there was actually a study done a few years ago that—"

"Dooonnn…" I groaned, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him around. "_Will we have glowing green blood yes or no_."

"No, Mikey," Don said with a sigh, rolling his eyes and swatting at my hands. "I already said that."

I made a face. "Really? 'Cause I lost anything even vaguely resembling an answer somewhere after mutagen and radiation and—'genome anomalies'." I put a hand to my forehead. "Geez, dude, I ask a simple yes or no question and you go off on a geek trip."

"I was _trying_ to tell you that there wouldn't be any evidence of our change and explain why. It's scientifically proven that listening and learning won't kill you, Mikey; studies show that using your brain is a _good_ thing."

Jerk. I stuck my tongue out at Don, blowing a raspberry. "Bite me, Donatello."

Don smirked, waving his hand in front of his face. "No thanks. Knowing my luck, you'd probably be contagious."

Geez. Donnie was on a roll today. "Alright, that's it. You can go back to geeking on your own," I huffed. "I'll leave you to your brain-strain."

I ambled out into the Lair just in time to see Leo disappear into the dojo. Geez…what was he still avoiding everybody for? I could understand why he left before we knew, 'cause that way he didn't have to worry about me or Raph bugging him to spill the beans as to why he was acting weird, but why now? Was he upset about turning human? I mean, he said he wanted to, but…maybe he didn't? I tried to think like Leo.

If I were Leo, why wouldn't I want to be human?

I plopped down on the couch, trying to think. Well, for one thing, it pretty much was the least ninja-ish thing ever. I mean, people are seen all the time, by hundreds of other people; especially in New York. We'd be as un-ninja-y as we'd ever been. But other than that, what could be bad about being human? We could do anything. And Donnie had said that there was no way anyone could find anything weird in our blood, so there was no way anyone would ever know we used to be something other than human.

My thoughts didn't normally stop me in my tracks, unless I'd just come up with something particularly awesome for a prank, but that one did.

No one would ever know we weren't human.

That…kinda sucked.

I mean, I didn't want people seeing us now, 'cause they'd either freak out and run away or try and ship us off to a zoo or a lab or something. But still, even though the general reaction to us was screaming, I was never ashamed of what we were. I mean, we couldn't help what we were, and it wasn't our fault we didn't blend. And besides, on any other planet but good ol' Earth, we blended a whole shell of a lot better than humans did; everywhere else, _they_ were the ones who looked freaky, not us. Even if no one else did, _I_ thought we were awesome. We were kick-butt ninja turtles, and some of us (namely yours truly) were devilishly handsome to top it off. And even though I didn't plan on running around topside going "hey, guess what, I totally used to be a giant turtle" and showing people pictures…I figured there had to be at least one other New York lady out there like April, who would accept us with minimal screaming. And if I got to meet her…I wanted to be able to tell her the truth and prove it. Plus I wanted something to remember us by. I didn't want our past to disappear; I was kinda scared of going through this, doing the whole five fingers/five toes thing, and forgetting what we were like as turtles.

But what could I do? We had a few pictures of us growing up, a photo album of the younger years, but I was pretty sure we'd lost (or broken, it was hard to remember) the camera years ago, and we hadn't really bothered to replace it since then. April had one, and she took pictures when we were all together for birthdays or Christmas or hers and Casey's second wedding reception (for mutants and tolerant humans only), but I didn't really wanna ask for hers; I didn't think anyone would really understand what I wanted to do, and it felt like something I should do on my own.

So if I couldn't take any pictures…I'd just have to draw some. I scrambled up off the couch and headed for my room. I hadn't done much seriously with my sketchbook for a while; I did some landscapes occasionally, a sketch or two of Klunk, and a few of my Battle Nexus trophy (Daddy loves you, baby!), but I hadn't gone through a drawing phase for a while. I finally dug the book out from underneath my bed, trying not to get bitten by the dust bunnies, and shoved the crap on my bookshelf around until I found my charcoal pencils. It was nice to flip through the book and look through some of my old sketches; I may not be the original Michelangelo, but I thought I still did the name proud. And hey, it was all about practice, right? After a few more years, I'd probably have a Sistine Chapel idea in me somewhere.

Now all I needed was someone to draw…which didn't leave me with a lot of options. I'd feel weird going to Sensei and asking him, and besides, I wanted to try and get a sketch of him watching his soap operas; it was hilarious to watch him yellin' at the TV during _Days of Our Lives_. Raph was gone, and I could tell that Don was gonna be in full geek mode for a while, which meant he wouldn't be sitting still long enough for me to get anything done.

But there was _one_ turtle in the Lair who was constantly sitting still doing absolutely nothing for ridiculous amounts of time…

I slipped out of my room and ninja-ed my way down to the dojo, stopping at the doorway to peek in at Leo.

My oldest brother was dead to the world, off finding his happy place or chilling with the spirits or whatever it was that he did when he meditated these days.

It was times like these that I was glad we'd found such a big place, because it meant the dojo was loads bigger than back in the Y'Lyntian Lair; I'd totally never be able to sneak up on anyone in the old one. I circled around Leo as quietly as I could, trying to find the right angle. I didn't wanna draw him from behind, 'cause then I couldn't get the Zen look on his face…and I hated looking at that missing piece of his shell for any longer than I had to. I didn't like doing profile drawings all the time, and head-on ones got boring too, so I leaned from side to side in front of Leo, trying to figure out the best place to start. A spot just a little to his right finally looked good, and I sat down slowly, not even making the mats squeak. I was silence incarnate, I was the sneakiest of sneaks, I was—

"Do you need something, Mikey?"

Totally going to kill my big brother for giving me a heart attack. I nearly jumped out of my shell and glared at Leo. I hated it when he did that, suddenly started talking when I thought he was out cold, busy communing with the universe or whatever. It was freaky. I mean, his eyes were closed and I had been really quiet and everything, and he still knew it was me. "How the shell do you do that?" I demanded.

Leo didn't open his eyes. "Do what?"

"Know who it is without looking or without me saying anything?"

"The way you move. How you walk. The way you breathe through your mouth when you're trying to sneak up on someone because you think it's quieter than breathing through your nose."

I made a face and fought the impulse to hold my breath. "Seriously?"

"Yes."

"And it isn't? Quieter, I mean?" I waved at myself, even though Leo couldn't see it. "The mouth-breathing?"

"No."

"Weird. I coulda sworn it was."

Leo sighed, one of those short, sharp ones that sound like what he really wants to do a big sigh, but he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by sounding too frustrated or annoyed. "What did you want, Mikey?"

"Oh, uh…would you mind if I drew you?" I asked, blurting the question out. "You don't have to do anything, you can just sit there and keep on being Zen, I just…wanted to do a sketch."

That must have sounded weird enough to register even on Leo's 'I've-seen/heard-it-all' big brother scale, because he actually opened his eyes to look at me…and ordinarily, nothing can get him out of meditation mode. Well, short of serious property damage or the sounds of maiming or Master Splinter. But other than that, nothing. And believe me, I've tried.

He gave me a suspicious look. "What's really going on?"

There was a serious lack of trust in this family, and most of it directed towards me. I was a victim of my brothers' completely unnecessary paranoia. Honestly, you'd think they'd be able to tell when I was joking and when I was serious.

Things were going nowhere, and I was getting the feeling that I was going to be getting this same response all the time. "Nothing! I just wanted to draw you, that's all." I grabbed my stuff and stood back up, heading for the door. I really wanted to do these drawings; I needed something concrete, I needed evidence of us. I didn't want us to go through this and have nothing left to prove that we used to be different. It wasn't like I was bothering anyone, asking them to pose or wear costumes or anything; I was being sneaky on purpose, trying to draw them when they weren't looking so I didn't bug anyone (and so they'd actually act naturally). I'd even come to Leo first because I figured he'd at least be willing to humor me, but I might as well have just started sketching the Lair for all the good it did me.

"Mikey, wait."

I wrinkled my beak and looked back. "Yeah?"

He stared at me for a while, a little frown growing between his eyes. "Are you okay? I didn't mean to upset you, I just…I don't understand."

Aw, man. I really didn't want to explain this to my brothers, especially not Leo. Not because I didn't think he'd understand, 'cause I was pretty sure he would, but 'cause I didn't want him thinking I was having second thoughts about the whole becoming human thing. But if I didn't give him something, he'd be watching me for like, the next week or something, trying to figure out if something was wrong, and he'd end up driving me completely insane in the process.

I sighed and plopped back down in front of him. "I just…I want some proof of how we look—or, used to look, after we do the big change. I mean, we're gonna meet lots of people, and someone somewhere in all of those people is gonna be like April and Casey, and they won't care what we used to be. And I wanna show 'em proof, show 'em that I'm telling the truth when I say we used to be teenage mutant ninja turtles. I don't wanna forget how we are now; we're totally awesome, butt-kicking wonder-turtles, and—and I'm proud of that. I mean, yours truly is one of the greatest warriors in the multi-verse, and how many humans can claim that? I mean, besides Master Yoshi. I don't care if people think we're freaks, 'cause I don't, and I don't wanna forget where we came from or what we used to look like."

I looked back up at Leo, and his face had gone kinda blank, except for this weird expression that kinda looked like he either wanted to say something, or was really surprised. I made a face and looked back down. "I know it doesn't make any sense, but I just—"

"It makes perfect sense, Mikey."

What? I glanced back up and stared at Leo; what I'd said hardly made sense to me, even though I knew what I was trying to say. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. It's good that you don't want to forget our past; after all, it's what made us who we are."

"Right." I grinned and shifted slightly. This was getting awkward. I grabbed my bag and yanked it open, pulling out my sketchbook and a new pencil and waving them at Leo. "So, is this okay?"

Leo hesitated, but nodded slowly. "Sure."

"Awesome! Now go back to being Zen-master Leo; that's the look I'm going for right now." I grinned at him. "I can wait 'til the next time Raph pisses you off to do my sketch of 'Lecture Leo'."

"Great." Leo rolled his eyes, but settled back into position, resting his hands on his knees and closing his eyes.

I hunkered down in front of him, getting comfortable, and started my sketch. It was quiet (obviously), but surprisingly not awkward. I'd gotten most of Leo's outline done before something popped back into my mind.

"So you can really tell who it is just by listening? Even when we aren't talking?"

Leo shifted slightly, either annoyed or surprised at the interruption, especially since we'd been silent for about ten minutes. "Yes."

So _that_ was how he always managed to tell I was sneaking up on him before I ever got to pull the classic pop-an-inflated-bag-behind-your-unsuspecting-sibling prank, or how he could be sitting in the dojo meditating and know who was trying to sneak out of the Lair. This was valuable information. If I knew how else he was figuring out who was who, I could turn that against him.

Never let it be said that the Mikester wasn't a fast learner.

"Anything else?"

Leo's head titled to the side, though his eyes didn't open again. "There is one more thing, actually."

I stopped drawing, looking up at Leo. "Really? What?"

"You know how you almost always get a snack before you try to prank someone?"

I frowned and nodded slowly. It was a habit of mine. I didn't know Leo had noticed that, but I should've expected him to; the dude makes noticing stuff his job. It definitely explained why he always knew to conveniently leave for training runs whenever I was looking for someone to prank. Sneaky bastard.

"Mikey?" Leo prodded patiently.

"Yeah…" I said slowly, wincing. I'd learned the lesson of eating before pranking years ago, after a certain brother completely overreacted to a tiny little practical joke and fractured my jaw (guess who; I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count). I hadn't been able to eat real, solid foods for weeks, and so I was now a firm believer in the sacred ceremony of "your last meal." "What about it?"

He opened one eye to look at me, a small smile on his face. "Did you ever stop to think that I just might be able to smell sour-cream-and-onion chips on your breath from a mile away?"

My mouth fell open in horrified realization. Holy prank war, Batman! I'd been sabotaging myself all along! Every time he avoided a trap, or caught me sneaking up on him and said he'd "heard me coming" even when I was at my ninja-quietest, Leo—Leo had actually been pranking _me_ this entire time! _Leo_, whose sense of humor hibernates, like, 350 days out of the year.

I was shocked out of my shell…and oddly proud. Leo, pranking; even if it was in a kinda inactive way, it was still ninja pranking. I knew I'd be a good influence on him eventually.

Leo was out-and-out grinning when I focused on him again, looking entirely too pleased with himself. I narrowed my eyes at him. "Next time, Gadget!"

He just laughed. "You're always welcome to keep trying, Mikey," he replied, closing his eyes again. "Persistence might pay off eventually, who knows."

I stuck my tongue out, realized he couldn't see it, and blew a raspberry so he'd understand. "Silence! Models are silent and still." I made a face and erased a line that was at the wrong angle now that Leo had moved. "Geez, the one time I actually want you to be a meditation zombie I can't get you to shut up."

Leo snorted. "My apologies." He settled back into position.

I tried to focus on drawing, but I couldn't forget why I wanted to do some sketches in the first place. "Hey, Leo?"

"Hm?"

"It's…" I gnawed on the inside of my cheek as I tried to figure out what I wanted to say. "Everything's gonna change now, isn't it?"

Leo's eyes opened again. He stared at me quietly. "Yes, it is," he said softly. "But hopefully, it will be for the better."

I nodded. "Yeah. We…we're still gonna be together, right? You know, the four of us?" I couldn't help thinking that we were all gonna just go our separate ways, and as much as I wanted to get out there and start catching up on everything I'd missed, I didn't want my bros going anywhere. I couldn't help thinking that Don was gonna go off to some lab somewhere, and Raph would leave or spend all his time with Casey, and Leo would take off for Japan or something to study or train or teach, and I'd be left by myself with no clue what to do.

"Yes, we will," Leo said firmly, his eyes boring into mine. "No matter what. We're a family, Mikey, and we'll stay one. Maybe we won't always be in the same place, maybe some of us will travel or move, but we'll still be close."

"'Kay. Good." I looked down and darkened a line carefully. "Alright, back to quiet time."

There was a pause, but I didn't look up until I could tell Leo had finally closed his eyes again and stopped watching me. "Got it."

A few minutes passed as I scratched at the paper, trying to get the curve of Leo's arm right, when Leo spoke up again.

"Mikey?"

"Yeah?" I asked, frowning as I squinted at my sketch pad. The light in the dojo seriously sucked for drawing…

"I'm looking forward to seeing the final product."

I looked up at Leo, but he'd already gone all Zen again. I grinned, knowing he could hear it in my voice even if he couldn't see it.

"Me too."

* * *

**Raphael**

I didn't get back from Casey and April's place for a few hours, which was fine with me. I needed to calm down a little, and to think. I never thought Leo brought up all that shit about humans an' how I felt about 'em an' everything 'cause he had a serious reason for askin', 'cause we were actually gonna have a chance to be one of 'em. 'Course, that's prob'ly why he did things the way he did; how the hell was I gonna see somethin' like that comin'? I had no way of knowin' the Utroms could do somethin' like that. I had to give him points for bein' sneaky about it, but I was also pissed; why the hell couldn't he have just come out an' told me 'bout the offer, then asked me what I thought? I hate bein' played, an' that was exactly what Leo had done.

But I was tryin' to be better about flyin' off the handle at everything, so I was gonna give 'im a chance to explain before I kicked his ass for bein' a jerk, rather than after.

Hangin' out with Case gave me a chance to calm down, an' to really think about what this all meant. I mean, c'mon, bein' human? Of course I'd thought about it. I'd thought about it since I was a kid, when Sensei would come home exhausted an' freezin' after scroungin' around in dumpsters just to find enough food for all of us. I'd thought about it once I understood why he couldn't just go to a store. I'd thought about it every single time one'a my bros got sick or hurt in a fight, and there was nothin' we could do to help 'em but wait, because _freaks_ like us didn't have hospitals to go to. I'd thought about it every time I'd saved someone from gettin' mugged or stolen from or raped, only to have them scream at me as loudly as they'd screamed at whoever was goin' after 'em.

Hell yes I'd thought about it. But I'd stopped hopin' for it years ago. Except now, suddenly, it was an option.

Case thought it was the sweetest thing since turbo engines. An' to be honest, I did too. I was waitin' for there to be a catch, but accordin' to Don, there wasn't. The Utroms were offerin' to do this an' help us as much as we needed, all just as a 'thank you' for stoppin' the Shredder an' Karai all those years ago. It was just as is. We were finally gettin' a frickin' break, no strings attached. An' suddenly, everything was wide-open. Go anywhere, do anything…we would blend completely. An' even though there was a load of stuff I'd wanted to do when I was younger, suddenly I couldn't think of anythin'. I mean, I figured that of all of us, next to Mikey, I'd be able to adjust the easiest. I spent plenty of time with Case, plenty of time poundin' the pavement an' seein' all the different sides of New York. I knew how the people acted; and hell, in New York, even if ya didn't act normal, ya still blended. Home of freaks an' geeks, that was the Big Apple.

But it didn't take long for me to realize that bein' a human _and_ keepin' up our various nighttime activities wasn't gonna be an option. It was human or ninja, one or the other.

An' I didn't know what I thought about that. I mean, give up bein' a ninja? Hell, that was _me_. That was all of us. It wasn't just what we did, it was who we were, for cryin' out loud. But as humans, we had to just play nice an' behave ourselves. Get up, go to work, say hi t'your neighbors, come home for dinner, go t'bed, an' start it all over again.

Like hell. I'd go nuts within a week, maybe less.

I asked Casey how he dealt with it, 'cause he was prob'ly the only person who thought like I did _and_ who lived both sides of it, "normal" person and vigilante. His response was less than encouragin'.

"_It ain't easy, Raph. There's a lotta compromise. Bein' a vigilante…it's important. More important than seemin' respectable, if y'ask me. But bein' a vigilante doesn't pay the bills, an' now that April an' I are hitched, well, I ain't just lookin' out for myself now, y'know? I gotta think about her, too. I can't be pickin' fights with people who might follow me home to get to her, or stayin' out so late that I miss a day of work, 'cause people notice. They notice when ya come home late lookin' like you've been in a fight, an' they talk. Lotta damn gossips. And I don't wanna put April through that. I ain't got a problem with people sayin' I'm a punk or whatever, but I'm not gonna put up with anyone sayin' anything bad about her 'cause of what I do in my spare time. And bein' human…it's a lot easier for people to point ya out. If punks tell the cops about a giant turtle beatin' 'em up, who's gonna believe 'em? But they tell the cops about a guy who's 6 feet tall, black hair, works out a lot…I've already got a bit of a reputation, and it wouldn't take long for 'em to end up at my door. Even a hockey mask only does so much, Raph. So…yeah. It's hard. Ya gotta juggle things, and ya can't do as much as ya like, but it's what you gotta do. 'Cause you'll find out pretty soon that you just can't do one or the other; it's gotta be both. You gotta play nice an' have a job 'cause you gotta play by the rules if you're human, an' you gotta keep lookin' out for people in the city 'cause you're like me, an' it's just not somethin' you can give up."_

I didn't like thinkin' 'bout stuff too often, at least not the real in-depth introspective crap that Leo likes to do. I had always been about action; I could always figure things out later, after the necessary asses had been kicked an' everything had been dealt with. But now we had all this time before anythin' was gonna happen, and suddenly there was a lot more to think about than I'd expected. It didn't help my mood much.

Seein' a dark shape that looked suspiciously like Leo waitin' on top of the buildin' by the manhole I planned on usin' to get home didn't either.

I thought about goin' a different way, but it would add twenty minutes to the way home, an' I still had a bone t'pick with Leo, so I grit my teeth an' flipped forward, landin' on the roof a few feet away from him. "Hey."

Leo nodded, steppin' forward outta the shadows. "Hey. Look, I know why you left, and I—"

"You do?" I didn't feel like makin' this easy for 'im.

He sighed. "I feel I have a pretty good guess." He walked closer, leanin' against the edge of the buildin' little more'n a foot away from me. "I'm sorry I asked Don to keep the news from you and Mikey. I shouldn't have."

"Damn straight." I glared at him, wishin' I'd talked to him before I talked to Casey, back when I was pissed enough to wanna punch him, 'cause he was openin' himself up for it now. "You don't have the right to pull crap like that. I thought we cured you of bein' that stupid years ago."

Leo just snorted. "Maybe not. But Raph…look, all my life I've been protecting you three, by duty and by choice. And for the longest time, I thought protection meant keeping you from harm of all kinds, physical and emotional. And since Master Splinter never challenged that belief, I figured I was right."

I shook my head. "Just 'cause he didn't challenge it didn't mean it was right. I _know_ you heard _us_ challengin' it."

The look I got for that was dry as the frickin' Sahara. "You're my little brothers, Raph; you challenged and complained about _everything_. How was I supposed to know when it was about something that truly bothered you and needed to be changed? _Everything_ I did was under contention when we were younger, if you care to remember, and yet you never told me why something was bothering you, just that it was." He hesitated, shiftin' an' takin' a deep breath. "I never meant to insult you by trying to protect you, Raph. I didn't even know you took it that way. I know now that it's wrong of me to decide what you need protected from, but old habits are hard to break."

Well, shit. I hated it when he did that, explained that I was mad at him for somethin' he hadn't even tried to do. I knew that we were on different wavelengths an' that we rarely saw eye-to-eye, but it still annoyed me every time somethin' like this came up an' he didn't understand what was pissin' me off 'cause his brain didn't work like mine. I wanted to be pissed at 'im, 'cause I had _years_ of him bein' overprotective and annoyin' the hell outta me, but knowin' he didn't mean it the way I'd taken it took a lotta the anger outta me. "Dammit," I muttered, crossin' my arms. "Look, you're right that it ain't your place to decide, but…hell, I guess I can understand. But shit, Leo, I woulda thought you were smarter'n that; took ya this long to figure that out?"

Leo looked offended. "You're not exactly the easiest person to figure out, Raph, and it's hard to narrow down what's pissing you off when so many things rub you the wrong way. I know you can defend yourself, Raph, and I appreciate knowing you've got my back, and that I don't have to worry about you in a fight."

"Wouldn't hurt ya to show it a little more often," I grumbled. "Let me decide what I wanna be protected from. I mean, hell, Leo, I've prob'ly seen worse shit than you have over the years."

Leo's face went kind of stiff, an' he looked away. "Maybe…maybe not…" He shook himself, givin' a quick smile that didn't fool anyone. "Sorry. Yeah, you did always prefer to fight your own battles."

"Ya think?" I grimaced. Dammit, I was _tryin'_ to be tactful, but Leo made it hard sometimes when he missed the really obvious things. "Anyways. Did you really think this was somethin' I needed protected from?"

"Turning human?" Leo clarified. When I nodded, he shrugged a little. "Not in the way you're thinking of. I've thought it through a lot, and, well, there's nothing in the human world that we haven't faced and survived before. Muggers, rapists, thieves, gangs…at this point, I almost worry more for them than I do for you." He sighed as I grinned sharply. "I was more trying to…protect you from getting your hopes up and having them crushed. I know that pain, Raph, and I didn't want you to know it as well."

"I could take it. It ain't like I'm a stranger to bein' disappointed."

I frowned as Leo shook his head. "Not like this. This was something I knew you'd given up on reluctantly after hoping for it for so long…not just you, but Mikey and Don too. This was—_is_ something close to your hearts. If you were to hear about it, only to have it fall through—" My face musta been sendin' off warnin' signals, 'cause Leo cut himself off suddenly. "Sorry. I know you can withstand almost anything, but I'd rather you didn't have to. And I didn't want you to be angry with Master Splinter if, after we'd told him about the Utroms' offer, he decided to withhold his blessing. I'm used to you hating me—"

"Hey, you piss me off, but I don't hate you," I interrupted. "I've tried, but that's bullshit."

"I'm used to you being angry with me," Leo tried again, watchin' me expectantly. "And I can handle it. I just…I didn't want you to be angry at Sensei as well. It would have hurt him, and you too, a little." I watched Leo's face change a little, an' saw a hint in his face of that dark, helpless look he wore all the time after the battle on the Shredder's spaceship, before he went to the Ancient One. I hated that look. "I know how it feels to lash out at your father, to misplace your anger and take it out on him wrongly, and Raph…that's not something you ever want to do," he whispered, his hands curlin' into fists. "That's a shame that never goes away."

I was never any good at this kinda stuff, an' there wasn't anyone who could break Leo out of a guilt trip if he really got goin', so I just reached out an' punched him in the arm. Leo didn't move, so I opened my hand an' gripped his shoulder, shakin' him a bit until he looked at me. "You were under a lotta stress, bro," I told him, shakin' him again when he tried to look away. "Yeah, you put the stress on yourself, an' for stupid reasons, but we get it. We know why you did whatcha did. You don't know how to handle bein' that angry, bro, so it ain't no big surprise you messed up an' lashed out. Sensei forgave you for that a long time ago, an' so did we."

Leo shook his head, though he did reach up to grip my hand. "There's no excuse for what I did."

Not for the first time I wondered if there was a way to beat the martyr complex outta someone. Was there a certain place to punch, or didja just have to hit 'em hard enough the right number of times? "But there's an excuse for me? You ain't the first one to do somethin' you regret an' hurt someone in the family, Leo; at least you didn't almost kill someone."

"I still struck at our father, Raph; in anger, with my own blade."

"An' I used a freakin' pipe," I retorted, shakin' him again. He tried to push my hand away but I held on, grippin' tighter. "Answer the question, Leo; if there's no excuse for you, how the hell can there be one for me?"

Leo dropped my hand to gesture vaguely, makin' no more sense with his hands than he was with his words. "Because there is, in a way. Raph, you…you want and feel so strongly, and there's so much—life and vibrancy in you, that it's no real surprise that it turns to anger; it's a viable outlet, and one of the few we have. And if the rest of us have less fire in us, or have learned to tame it better, then it's also not a big surprise that you run from us, from me, thinking that we don't understand. We do, in our own ways, even if you doubt that. I just…I just wish you'd stay a little more often."

I let go of Leo's shoulder. "So do I, sometimes, but I just…can't." What he said both made sense an' confused the hell outta me, like a lot of the things he said. I still had trouble understandin' that Leo understood me, 'cause for so many years I'd stood by the fact that we were way too different to understand each other; Leo was too perfect to fail, to get angry, to do somethin' wrong…except suddenly, he hadn't been. It was just…when that time came an' Leo got knocked off that pedestal we'd all put 'im on…I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would. We all found out that even with as much as we expected him to be the perfect older brother an' leader, he expected even more of himself.

"It's alright, Raph," Leo rested a hand on my shoulder this time, though he let go sooner. "Things would've been a lot better if we'd tried to understand each other more, but that's past. All we can do now is keep that in mind for the future."

"Yeah." I could recognize a topic change when it hit me in the face, an' I was just as ready to drop this as Leo.

"Speaking of which, are you ready for ours? I know you'll enjoy the freedom that comes with it…but do you know what you want to do when you have it?"

When I had it? Shit, _anything_. That was the point of freedom, wasn't it? Of being human? Gettin' to do all the things I wanted to do, to live the life I'd only watched for years? I didn't really wanna say anythin', 'cause I'd given up this trail of thought years ago an' I didn't like bringin' it up, but I was hopin' I could get somethin' outta Leo too if I kept him talkin'.

I shrugged. "Dunno. Travel, maybe. Check out a couple places. Maybe go see Japan sometime when the world ain't endin' an' we aren't bein' trained to save it, see what you an' Sensei keep goin' on about. But mainly? I dunno. Little things, I guess. Wouldn't mind gettin' into bike racin', or maybe doin' a few martial arts competitions, y'know? Kick the crap outta a few posers who think they're the next Jet Li." I grinned. "Show 'em how it's s'posed to look, y'know?"

The corners of Leo's mouth twitched. "Mm. They'd be surprised, I bet."

"Better believe it." I'd also like to hunt down what remained of the Purple Dragons, some of the assholes we'd fought for years, an' beat the shit out of 'em, then get to see their faces as they tried to figure out why the hell some random guy's fists felt so familiar. Nothin' serious, just for fun. But Leo didn't need to hear that part. "And you?"

"Travel as well. I'd like to visit Japan again sometime, too; I'd like to have at least one trip there when I'm…in the proper mindset to enjoy it," Leo mused.

I nodded. "Is that it? You gonna take off an' disappear, become some guru livin' up in the mountains like The Ancient One?"

Leo shrugged. "Maybe. If I were to "retire" anywhere…I suppose it'd be someplace like where the Ancient One lives. It's very remote, but incredibly peaceful. When I was there, when he finally managed to get through my idiocy and anger, there was this…feeling I got from the very surroundings, like even the place itself could teach me things, in addition to what I was learning from The Ancient One." He looked miles away, like he'd already made it back there. "It's so peaceful, compared to New York. You can actually hear yourself think."

Well, _that_ sounded thrillin'. "That's it?" I frowned.

Leo glanced over at me, bemused. "That isn't enough?"

Only if you're an old fart an' borin' as hell…I shrugged. "It's just…hell, Leo, I dunno if you realized it or not, but we're talkin' chance of a lifetime here. You can do whatever you want, an' you just wanna go sit in the mountains an' meditate? You could do that as a turtle, for cryin' out loud." I froze as I realized what I just said an' stared at Leo. He _could_ do that as we were now. Which kinda made 'why bother becoming human' the next obvious question. I narrowed my eyes, glaring at Leo. "Do you even want this, bro?"

It was like talkin' to a statue; Leo wouldn't look at me, even when he finally answered. "What do you mean?"

"I mean what I said," I growled. "Do you even want to be human? Don, Mikey an' I, we've all got things we want to have an' do, an' bein' human can get us there, but you…what will bein' human do for you, Leo?"

"…I don't know."

I grit my teeth. I knew it. As soon as I saw his face when I asked if he wanted this, I knew that Leo was tryin' to be a damn martyr again. "For cryin' out loud, Leo, there's gotta be somethin' you want."

Leo sighed, leanin' forward to brace his elbows on his knees. "Raph…I've wanted pretty much the same things for the past ten years. I've wanted to improve my skills. I've wanted to keep you, Don, Mikey and Master Splinter safe. I've wanted to keep our friends and allies out of our messes as much as possible. I've wanted to make this city safer. And you know what? Just wanting that has pretty much taken up all of my time all these years. That's what I wanted, and by fighting and trying and working _all the time_, I've managed to get it. I didn't have time or cause to want anything else. My family and friends were safe, I had what I wanted; what more could I ask for?"

"That ain't an answer, Leo."

Fearless sighed again in frustration. "It's all the answer I can give you, Raph. Like you said, I don't honestly have much cause to want it, because out of the things I want, there's nothing I can't achieve just as well as a turtle as I can as a human…except for keeping you safe. It will be easy to keep you all safe if we go through with this, and we'll have the attention of fewer enemies as humans."

"Damn it, Leo, I mean do you want it for you?"

Leo exploded up from his seat an' started pacin'. "I don't _know_, Raphael! I—I'm not used to being allowed to want anything! Usually I don't have the time, and I don't have the strength. Everything I used to want got pushed to the side. My dreams took a backseat to this family and my duties. The only thing I've wanted that I've been allowed to keep is the desire to be the best I can be and make Master Splinter proud. I got tired of realizing that what I wanted or didn't want wasn't as important as the safety of our family, so I stopped wanting anything other than that. That way, as long as I kept training, I'd get what I wanted: my family alive and safe." He stopped an' sighed, saggin' a little. "Damn it, Raph, I'm happy for the four of you; why isn't that enough? Why do you care if I'm happy for myself, when you've never really cared before?"

I frowned. We'd talked a while ago, back when we finally settled things between us, about just how little time Leo had had for himself over the years, but he never said how deep far it went. It pissed me off then, an' so did his words now. "Just 'cause I don't say it doesn't mean I don't care, Leo. Yeah, so maybe I never ask, but would ya want me to? And if I did, would ya actually answer me straight, 'stead of talkin' in riddles an' other vague shit?" I snorted. "You're Mr. Unreadable. You don't like us knowin' when you're upset or pissed or whatever, an' neither of us have ever been big on sharin' feelings. An' now you're sayin' I shoulda just come up one day an' gone "hey, Leo, you happy? Enjoyin' life? No? Well, then what's gotcha down, bro?""

Leo's face flushed as he turned to glare at me. "I wouldn't suggest it so facetiously, but…maybe."

"Bullshit," I retorted, gettin' to my feet. "You woulda done what you tried to do just now, brush me off an' pretend everything's just frickin' peachy, even though you're lyin' though your teeth. Why the hell are you so damn set against us knowin' you're pissed at the way things are? Hell, we all are, Leo. Even Donnie, for all his easygoin' nerd-ness, and Mikey, for all that he thinks everything's one big party, even they have things they hate about our life. S'only natural, given the kinda shit we've had to put up with all these years. An' ya know what? We're all better off for havin' admitted it and put it out there, as opposed to you, bottlin' it up 'til you go frickin' bat-shit crazy." I growled and yanked out a sai, spinnin' it for a distraction. I took a deep breath an' tried not to snap. "Look, Leo…it ain't a crime to want more than ya got, especially when you've got as little as we do. None of us are gonna think badly of ya if you're sick of doin' nothin' but chasin' our asses around the sewers an' practicin' _kata_ all day."

"It's not that, it's just…" I could hear Leo kinda deflate, an' he finally stopped pacin'. "I…yes, I want this. I want this, because I need to get away, to get out of the sewers, to see if I can be anything more than I am now and have been for the past twenty years, even though…even though I don't know if I can be. I don't know if I'm able to be anything other than your 'Fearless' and Sensei's _chuunin_, but I—I know now that I can't learn that here. I can't find anything more for myself on the roofs or in the sewers, so maybe…maybe the only place left is the one in-between both of those."

My fingers slowed until I was just grippin' my sai again. I didn't know what to say to that. I understood it, 'cause unlike Leo, I didn't have a place in the family; I wasn't the leader, or the brain, or the youngest. I was just the muscle. An' I knew that it wasn't my place t'tell Leo anythin'. I didn't want people tellin' me who to be, an' I wasn't gonna do it to Leo. If he had problems like that, he was the only one who could do anythin' about 'em; I couldn't tell him what to be, I could just support 'im while he figured his shit out. "You don't hafta explain anythin' to me," I muttered. "I just want you to want it for you, not us."

Leo snorted softly an' gave a wry smile. "Raph, for the past twenty years, you guys have been my life. If you're happy, I'm happy, generally. You talk about me wanting it for me, not just for you…but you just don't understand that for me, the two are essentially inseparable."

"Yeah, well, learn to separate 'em." I grabbed Leo's bandana tails and started headin' for the fire escape. "Look, just tell me straight…yer seriously okay with this?"

Leo swatted my hand away an' padded down the steps behind me. "I've thought about it a lot, Raph, and…it's the safest I can keep the four of you. Leatherhead was right; what better way to hide than five among millions? We will be on the radar then, which is a downside, because anyone interested could know who and where we are…but if it comes down to it, we can disappear again. We know how to survive on our own, outside of society, and can do so whenever we need to."

"Always gotta have an escape plan, huh, Leo?"

"You know what New York is like for humans, Raph, and you know our luck; it'd be foolish not to plan for worst case scenarios." I could tell by the small, almost imperceptible turn of Leo's head to the left that he was eyein' the tower of Foot HQ before he slid down into the manhole. "We still have enemies in this city, ones that, if they met us as humans, could easily put two and two together and get four."

"The most they could get is three an' a half," I snorted. I knew he thought Karai or Bishop or whoever would recognize us as humans, but seriously, they couldn't prove anythin' even if they did. I slid the manhole cover back in place an' jumped down to land beside Leo.

"Maybe. Maybe not."

I rolled my eyes. "An' as long as there's a 'maybe not', you'll be plannin' for it, right?"

The corner of Leo's mouth tilted up slightly, though he still looked tired. "It's what I do."

"Yer gonna give yourself a freakin' ulcer, that's what you're gonna do," I grumbled.

Leo just sighed. "If I do, I'll let you name it. Would that make you feel better?"

"Hell no! I don't wanna name your frickin' ulcer!"

"Fine. Then I'll just name it after you."

"Jackass."

"I love you too, Raph."

I grit my teeth an' contemplated throwin' Leo into the raw sewage floatin' just past us, but I knew the chances of it actually workin' were slim, so I figured I'd just beat 'im up later at practice.

"So…did talking with Casey help?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. Cleared some things up at least. Case said it wouldn't be easy, that it's hard to balance bein' a vigilante an' holdin' down a job, but that you just gotta keep doin' it. Said it's been hard for him, havin' to cut down on it since he married April, but that it's better for her, so he's doin' it."

Leo sounded surprised when he answered. "Casey said that?"

"Shockin', I know."

"Yeah. I guess I haven't been paying much attention, but he's…grown. He's matured a lot." Leo smiled, shakin' his head. "I think we have April to thank for that. She's been a good influence on him, and a good driving force." His smile suddenly started lookin' more like a smirk as he glanced at me, and I could feel myself tensin' up for whatever smart-ass comment was comin'. "Maybe that's what you need. We could find a nice girl to domesticate you."

I growled and threw a half-hearted punch at his head, which he easily leaned away from, laughin' softly. "Shut the hell up." Damn, what the hell was he thinkin'? We all knew April was one of a kind, an' I didn't think there was another girl like her in the world that was patient enough to put up with me; I was willin' to admit that I could be an ass when I put my mind to it. I couldn't think of a single woman who would…who would…

Except damn it, I _could_ and I was, now that Leo had brought it up; though honestly, she prob'ly wasn't any more into domestic crap than I was. But still, shit. I was gonna kick Leo's ass for makin' me think this. An' then I realized I'd already been too quiet for too long, an' I tried to think of somethin' to say or do that would distract Leo.

But, as usual, the one time I really needed to, I couldn't frickin' think fast enough.

Leo glanced over at me, then stopped walkin', blinkin' a few times. "Oh." He didn't say anythin' else, just that, short an' surprised like I'd landed a punch on 'im that he didn't see comin'. "Oh."

"Shut up," I growled an' kept walkin'. "'Oh' nothin'. There ain't nothin' for you to be 'oh'-ing about." For cryin' out loud, I sounded like some sorta spaz. Great job actin' casual, dumbass.

Leo just sort of coughed awkwardly an' looked away, movin' to keep up with me. "Right. Sorry."

I grit my teeth. I could just _sense_ a question hangin' there, right on the tip of Leo's tongue. Much as he tried not to pry anymore these days, he just couldn't help himself sometimes. I knew it was comin'. Any minute now—

"Is it…anyone I know?"

"No," I snapped, too quickly. We were not goin' there.

"Ah."

Drop it, Leo; if you value your life, you will drop it _now_ an' just let it frickin' die—

"It's Joy, isn't it?"

Shit damn, there it went. Well, that was it, I was just gonna have to kill Leo an' hide his body where no one would ever find it, 'cause there was no way in _hell_ I was lettin' this get out. I didn't bother wonderin' how he figured it out; after twenty years I was used to him bein' able to figure crap like that out, so I turned to the really important matter at hand:

Fratricide. Namely, how to get away with it.

I sat there thinkin' of the fastest, least messy way to kill Leo an' destroy the evidence when he took a deep breath. I twitched, my hands goin' for my sai. Oh hell no, we were not gonna talk about this. He wouldn't dare.

"Sorry, Raph. I didn't mean to pry. I…forget I asked, okay? I won't mention it, I promise."

I was growlin' more than talkin' at that point. "Damn straight you won't."

It got quiet then, just the slight splash of our footsteps along the ledge an' the muted rush of the sewage just beside us. I took the lead an' Leo followed along behind me, quiet enough that I couldn't even hear 'im breathin'. I was used to it, though, an' didn't bother to turn around an' make sure he was behind me; I'd know if he left, an' I didn't wanna risk him decidin' to start up a conversation again. I still owed him more'n a few punches for bringin' up that crap about Joy. It was bad enough that I'd thought about it before, but then he just had to go an' bring it up now, when it was actually possible. Yeah, Joy was my kinda woman; I wasn't afraid to admit that. She could fight, she could talk smack, an' she had a body guys like me only dreamed about. An' back when all that crap was goin' on with the Tribunal and the Demon Shredder…she never flinched when she saw us, when she talked to me, when we trained together. I'd thought about her a lot, even though I knew it'd never work; I was no one's idea of boyfriend material, even if I had been human. So I said goodbye when she an' the rest of the Acolytes left an' wished that I'd stop gettin' my damn hopes up, an' finally put it outta my mind; no woman in her right mind would wanna be with me, not when I wasn't even human. But now…now I could be, an' Leo just had to open his damn mouth an' get me thinkin' about it again.

I didn't need that, not on top of all the other shit I suddenly realized I had to figure out, stuff like what I was gonna do, where I was gonna go, an' what I was willin' to give up. _That_ was what was throwin' me the most; when I'd thought about this in the past, I'd thought about what I'd be gettin', not what I'd be givin' up. Hell, I hadn't even thought there was anythin' I was gonna _have_ to give up.

When Don had said that this was gonna take a while, an' that there was a lotta shit to figure out, I thought he'd meant for him. I figured he was gonna take care of all the technical stuff, since none'a the rest of us would have any idea what we were doin'. An' I figured on my part, it'd be getting' my shit together an' helpin' to haul everyone else's around an' puttin' up with Don's little tests.

But hell, when it came to long term…I didn't have the slightest idea of what I was gonna do. Even with Leo bringin' up that domestic shit, I knew that wasn't for me. Even if I could find someone who would be willin' to put up with me for the rest of our lives, I definitely wasn't father material. Mikey or Leo I could totally see with kids, Mikey especially; twenty years old an' he was still practically a kid himself. Maybe Donnie, but he'd prob'ly be too busy fixin' the ozone layer or curin' cancer or whatever for awhile to settle down an' have a family. Me, though? No kids. Wouldn't be a good idea. I knew I'd never have the patience that Sensei did, even if I didn't get saddled with a kid like me. I didn't particularly have anythin' against kids—I'd known a couple good ones, like Tyler an' Angel—I just didn't think I should be in charge of takin' care of 'em.

So I knew that much, at least, but the rest of it? I knew Case was right, strange as that sounded; I couldn't keep runnin' around like I did once we were human. But hell, puttin' up with the whole nine-to-five wasn't me.

But apparently it was gonna hafta be. I wanted to hit somethin'. This felt all wrong. Whenever I'd thought about bein' human, it was always the freedom I wanted. Freedom to go where I wanted, do what I wanted, all of it…but apparently I was just gonna be tradin' one set of restrictions for another.

"It's not going to be quite what you expected, is it?"

I twitched slightly as Leo spoke up, then dropped my hands from my sai reluctantly. "Not from where I'm standin'," I muttered, tryin' to step quietly again; with how I'd been stompin', it was no wonder that Leo had guessed I was pissed, an' what about. "Even Casey said he envies the kinda life we've got, an' he's prob'ly the one human with a life most like ours. Doesn't bode well."

Leo nodded slowly. "When Don ran through all his specifics for me, talking about jobs and apartments and everything, I was—a little surprised too. I'm well aware that I'm no expert on human lives, at least not the day-to-day aspects, but…" He snorted quietly, shakin' his head. "It's still not what I remember thinking of as a kid. Of course, back then I was thinking about getting to go to the park during the day, and living in a tree house, so I obviously wasn't thinking about being human and an adult. But still…looking back, I realize that unlike other kids that age, I didn't think about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I just…I just wanted to be able to grow up…to survive that long," he murmured. I could tell he was rememberin' some of the harder years we'd had, especially the winters. Winter in New York with no heat in a sewer full of germs was nothin' to laugh at. "Wondering whether I'd be an astronaut or a firefighter kind of paled in comparison next to wondering if I'd get to be old enough for it to ever really be an issue."

"Yeah. There is that." We took the final turn to head back to the Lair. "You think we can pull it off? Blendin' an' not goin' nuts an' all that?"

"Don and Mikey will; I'm sure of it. As for us…" Leo hesitated an' glanced over at me, smilin' slightly. "Well, it's not like we could get much crazier, right?"

I snorted. "I hope not. If we turn human just to end up in a funny farm, I'm gonna be really pissed. Especially if we end up in there before Mikey."

"…I think we'll be fine," Leo said quietly as I opened the door to the Lair. "We'll manage."

"Yeah." I smirked. "Listen t'us. Chance of a lifetime, an' we're talkin' like this. What's that make us, jaded or paranoid?"

Somethin' flickered across Leo's face. "Realistic, I think." He hesitated, then reached out an' gripped my shoulder for a second before lettin' go an' headin' off to his room.

I didn't bother tryin' to argue with 'im. For once, I could admit he was right. I braced my arms on the railin' and leaned over, lookin' down on the Lair. Don an' Mikey were out in front of Don's lab. Mikey had a box full of crap in his arms, an' Don had his hands full of papers an' test tubes. Both of 'em were goin' about a mile a minute, an' it wasn't hard to guess what they were talkin' about. I could see Mikey grinnin' even from where I was, an' I could tell Don was excited by how fast his mouth was movin'. Even if Leo an' I were expectin' problems, they weren't, an' I was fine with that. What they wanted lay in bein' human, an' I sure as hell wasn't gonna stand in the way of that. I knew they'd prob'ly end up realizin' the same stuff Leo an' I had sooner or later, but maybe it wouldn't bother them. I knew Don wouldn't mind a tamer lifestyle, an' as long as there were people around, Mikey'd be happy. An' I personally thought this change would be good for Mikey. Much as Leo needed to stop babyin' all of us, we all needed to stop babyin' Mikey. We couldn't follow him everywhere above ground, an' he'd finally see what the world was like. I knew he wasn't as clueless as Leo would like to think, but I also knew there was still a lotta bad that Mikey hadn't stumbled onto yet; I could tell, 'cause that kind of stuff…it leaves a mark. You can tell when someone's seen it. Mikey didn't have that look about 'im yet. I didn't particularly want him facin' stuff like that; I just thought it was time he got to live without three older brothers handlin' him with kid gloves all the time.

I finally gave into the yawns I'd been fightin' for a couple hours. I was beat, an' if the manic look in Don's eyes was any indicator, I was gonna need my sleep, 'specially if I was gonna be playin' guinea pig over the next few days.

I didn't know how many more nights I had left in my old home, but I wasn't gonna waste any of 'em.

**A/N: And there we go! Yes, I'm writing Raph as having a thing for Joy, because I definitely saw it in the Lost Season; especially in that one episode (don't know which one) where he's talking to her and he goes "listen, Joy, when all this is over…" Don't tell me that wasn't going to lead somewhere! :D Anyways, I don't really have much else to say, other than to tell you that I'm going to start working on the next chapter immediately, and I **_**hope**_** to have it out sooner than this one. I beg your indulgence, though, because I am going to be moving back to college and diving headfirst into a new semester of classes, so please bear with me. Do know that no matter what, I **_**will not**_** ever abandon a story, especially not this one; it's been gnawing on my brain for ages, and I've already got sequel plot-bunnies setting up shop as well. As long as it may take me between updates, the story will continue, come hell or high water or computer problems, I promise.**

**I hope you enjoyed this, and after I go get a few more things packed up, I'm going to start working on the next chapter right away. Please review, and any tips, comments, or constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated, especially in regards to Mikey and Raph's voices; having the guys come out as being in character and believable is the most important thing for me in my stories, next to an interesting plot. And this is my first story written in first person, not to mention my first one writing Mikey's POV, so if you could drop even just a few words about how you think I did, I would really, really appreciate it. You guys are wonderful for putting up with me like you do, and I really appreciate your patience and support. 'Til next time!**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer**__: See previous chapters._

_I don't have the words to express just how sorry I am for how it has taken for me to get this chapter posted. I really, really hate making you guys wait a long time between updates, and this has been the longest I've ever made you wait, and I hate it. Unfortunately, as much as I would like to do nothing but write (and read) all the time, school has to come first, and my junior year started busy, got busier, and ended frantically. I'm not going to bore you with everything I had to do, I'm just going to say that I'm sorry it took me this long to get this chapter out, and while I will try to get future chapters out faster, I can't make any guarantees; my schoolwork has to come first, especially now as I'm coming up on my last few semesters of college. Fortunately, I'm coming up to a part in the story that I already have largely written, and I'm on Christmas Break, so I've got some free time to write for once. (In fact, Chapter Five is already well in the works, so hopefully that'll be out in only a little over a week.) All I can ask is that you all please bear with me. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I will never abandon one of my stories once I've started posting it, and especially not this one; it just might take longer than you or I might like between chapters._

_That said, onto some gratitude! Thanks you very much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: __**Kallasilya, greshunkai, Myth-Laureate, and RyuOokamiMaru**__. I really appreciate the support; you guys definitely make my day. :D_

_And since no one needs any more delays, onto the chapter in which things finally start moving!_

* * *

**Donatello**

Once I'd told my brothers about the Utroms' offer, I swear I didn't stop moving at all. To be fair, Leo and Master Splinter tried to get me to stop long enough for some sleep, but I just didn't have the time. We would be undergoing the change in just a week, driving up to the farm Friday morning; there wasn't _time _for sleep. There was too much that I had to do, as well as a plethora of things I _wanted_ to do. I had to monitor my brothers' vitals—everything from blood pressure to average heartbeat to average temperature—so that the Utroms would be able to know what was normal for us and whether we were remaining within the safe areas for physiological reactions to the change. I had to start dismantling my lab (as much as I could when I still needed half of the equipment I had in there) and start packing up my room and supplies. All my experiments had to be halted, dismantled, packed away, and matched up with all my notes. And on top of taking care of my possessions, I had to start taking down various things around the Lair as well; the entertainment center, my computer console, the heater, the generator, and the security system. Most of those had to be left for last, though, just because we'd still be using them up until the day we left, so my list never seemed to shrink.

And on top of those necessities, there was still a battery of tests that I wanted to conduct on myself and my brothers, tests that while not strictly necessary, would be extremely interesting nonetheless. I wanted to see what our flexibility, strength and endurance were like as turtles so that I would have something to run a comparison with once we were turned into humans. I already expected our flexibility to increase, once we no longer had to deal with a turtle's natural armor. We were flexible, sure, but a plastron and a shell will naturally stand in the way of optimal flexibility, especially when you consider that our spines were fused to our shells; unlike humans, there was no possible way for us to really bend backward. As for strength and endurance, I had varying hypotheses for that; I had extensive proof that our mutation and our physical composition as one of nature's most armored creatures made us more durable than most humans. On the other hand, Casey seemed to take damage just as well as we did, and seemed to spring back from it nearly as quickly too. I wanted to see how much of a difference there was.

I finally ended up having to delegate a few things to my brothers, because I just didn't have enough hands or enough hours in the day. I sent Mikey, Leo and Raph out around town a few nights to talk to all of our friends around the city and explain that we'd be out of town for a while, and, in a few cases, to explain why. They started dismantling the Lair and moving our best furniture up into a vacant warehouse near the Lair; the pieces that were still in good shape we planned to take with us when we finally found apartments. I also charged them with keeping their eyes open for apartments that were available for rent, and sent them over to Casey and April's to pick up newspapers and brochures that April had been saving with possible apartment choices as well. I asked for a list of possible jobs that they might be interested in as well, and got some…interesting looks for that. Mikey looked like I was speaking blasphemy, talking to him about work when probably all that was on his list of things to do as a human involved food and/or fun. Raph and Leo took it better, thought Raph still looked a little consternated, and Leo a little surprised.

My mind never seemed to stop as we crept closer and closer to the end of the week. Even when I had completed all of my tests, packed everything up, and nagged Mikey into finally boxing up his things, my brain just kept going. My thoughts turned to the change itself; what it would be like, whether we would feel anything, how long our recovery time would be, and, though I was trying hard not to be vain, what I would look like. Did the Utroms pick the human DNA that was tied into our mutated genes? Had they specifically chosen people with certain eye or hair colors, certain physical builds and tendencies? Or was it just a randomization, DNA taken from whatever people they could find who were willing to donate it? Did _they_ even know what we would look like? I desperately wanted to see their notes and get answers on some of the specifics. Would they strip away our turtle DNA and add additional human DNA to enact the change, or was it enough to just remove the turtle DNA? I had so many questions for them regarding such a fascinating undertaking, and I was in the middle of compiling a list when Leo poked his head into my lab and told me Master Splinter wanted to talk to us.

"Any idea what this is about?" I asked him as we headed into the kitchen.

"Not really," Leo replied softly. "He's been rather quiet this week, though, so I'm wondering if there's something on his mind."

"Possibly."

We grabbed chairs at the table, where Sensei, Mikey and Raph were already waiting for us. A quick glance told me that neither of them had any idea what this was about either. I was figuring that Master Splinter probably just wanted to say something on our last night here at the Lair, something about the future…but on the other hand, I couldn't think of what might still need to be said.

Sensei nodded to us as we sat down, then looked around the table at each of us. "My sons…it seems that this is our last night here in our home, in this place that has seen so much of our lives. As this marks the end of one era, and the beginning of another, I think it only fitting that I share what I must tell you here."

We all glanced at each other, confused. We were used to Master Splinter being obscure sometimes, but none of us had any clue what could have brought this on. I had a sinking feeling in the very pit of my stomach, though, like my insides were clenching together. Something was coming, and suddenly, horribly, I thought I had an idea as to what it might be. I just hoped I was wrong…

"What's going on, Master Splinter? Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing is wrong, Donatello. There is merely something that I need to tell you that I have put off until now, and I ask that you listen to what I have to say before you react." Master Splinter sighed and looked at each of us in turn, waiting until we had all nodded hesitantly. "I will not be undertaking this change with you, my sons."

I could feel my heart stop at Sensei's words, and the silence that fell over the Lair made my skin crawl. I couldn't believe it, and yet at the same time, I felt like I should have seen it coming. Yes, I'd been extremely busy, and hardly noticed what my family was doing unless they told me, but still, I should have seen the signs. Everything suddenly made sense; why Sensei had been so quiet over the past week, why he hadn't joined in on our discussions of what we wanted to do first once we were human, the way he always carefully steered those conversations away from himself and towards us. It made a horrible kind of sense in that way…but as for why he wouldn't come with us, why he had waited until now to tell us—nothing made any sense.

Mikey was the first to speak, the words sounding like they were stuck in his throat. "But…why? Sensei, why don't you want to come? Is something wrong?"

Master Splinter shook his head. "Nothing is wrong, my sons. It is merely time for me to…retire, as it were. I am old, my sons. I have lived this life too long to take on such a different one. I have many years to my name, and to be honest, the thought of such change makes my old bones ache. I am a creature of the shadows, whereas you, my sons, are creatures of shadow _and_ sunlight. You all have spirits and lights that need to be seen in the human world. I believe that. I believe that you have purposes in their world, _your_ world, goals that you must accomplish and change that you must bring about. My sons, you are such wonderful individuals. You have goodness and light within you that I believe the human world is in desperate need of, gifts that are wasting away down here in the sewers and the shadows. I waited to tell all of you of my decision until now, when everything has been finalized, because I did not wish for you to turn down this chance on my account, not when I know how dear it is to all of you." He sighed. "I know that this surprise is unwelcome and, regardless of my intent, unkind, but I did not want your decisions to be dependent upon my own."

"But Sensei—"

I flinched slightly at the words. Leo's voice was strained and tight, completely out of character; and hearing him sounding so shaken was pulling the knot in my stomach tighter and tighter. If Leo was reacting like that at the thought of being without Master Splinter, what were the rest of us going to do? Twenty years old or not, we all still looked to Leo for leadership and Master Splinter for guidance. As old as we were, as much as we'd grown, as many new people as we'd met, my brothers and Master Splinter were still my world, a world I didn't want to lose. Apparently I wasn't the only one who felt that way.

Leo swallowed and tried again, sounding slightly calmer this time. "Sensei, what do you intend to do? You can't just stay here by yourself—"

Master Splinter raised an eyebrow at Leo. "I could, my son," he said lightly, "but I do not intend to. Contrary to what you might think, I am old, not feeble. I plan to go to my friend the Daimyo and visit with him for some time, and then travel to Japan to stay in the home of the Ancient One; it has remained untenanted since the Ancient One joined the Tribunal, and he said he would greatly appreciate my staying there to assume tenancy of his home and care for it. The Daimyo has welcomed me as well, and I feel that the calmer lifestyle of the Nexus will do me a world of good."

"The calmer—?" I had to bite my tongue to cut off the rant that wanted to escape. _Calm_? _The __**Battle**__ Nexus_? Maybe in the off years, but even those could get crazy, as we'd all seen. Had Sensei forgotten what all had happened at the Battle Nexus? Leo had been poisoned, the Daimyo had almost been killed, Mikey had almost been killed in a rigged grudge match, Sensei had been attacked there years ago…the Battle Nexus had been almost nothing but a source of trouble for us. And _that_ was where he planned to—to 'retire' to? I didn't care how temporary he intended his stay to be, how could he think _that_ was a calmer lifestyle? And then after that he was going to travel to Japan and live on some secluded mountain top, with no contact or aid or way for us to reach him? "Sensei, how can you—"

"My son, calm down. I know full well what you are thinking, but you must remember that whatever incidents occurred during our visits to the Battle Nexus, they were by no means the normal course of affairs. The Daimyo's kingdom is a secure stronghold, and all those involved in our various incidents have been dealt with. It is a safe place, and quiet. And even if you disapprove of the Nexus, Leonardo can tell you of the safety of the Ancient One's home."

We all turned to Leo, who still looked shocked. He flinched slightly at our stares, though he didn't look away from Master Splinter. "I…yes, it is safe. It is high in the mountains, and there is only one path there, which is well-guarded by—it's well-guarded," he finished grudgingly.

I huffed out a breath. "Well, regardless, how can—"

"Master, do you really intend to make the journey?" Leo interrupted me, his brows coming together. "It is not an easy one."

"I know very well of the conditions of the mountains, Leonardo. I have travelled there in the past."

I started at Sensei's words. "Wait, the Ancient One's home is in the mountains? I thought you just had to pass through the mountain range to get there. Sensei, living in a mountain climate zone is highly ill-advised. They're known for the harsh weather, and at your age—I mean, with your health—"

Leo set a hand on my arm, squeezing slightly. "It's alright, Don," he said, sounding slightly calmer. "The Ancient One's home is…unique. It has its own climate, and is much more temperate than the mountains…or New York."

"And to set your minds at ease, know that I do not intend to make the same journey Leonardo did," Master Splinter added, looking at all of us in turn. "The Ancient One will speak to the guardians of the mountain pass and explain the situation to them, so that they will be expecting my presence there. And the Daimyo has agreed to transport me directly to the Ancient One's home with his war staff."

I don't think any of us knew what to say to that. Sensei was blocking us at every turn.

Mikey was the first to break the silence again. "Master Splinter? How long have you been planning this?"

"Only since I was informed of the Utroms' offer, Michelangelo."

He shook his head. "No, I mean…planning to leave us. You…it seems like you've been thinking about it for a while."

Sensei blinked a few times. We all were still surprised by how intuitive Mikey could be at times, the way he could pick up on the things people didn't say, and yet still be so clueless about other things. Master Splinter sighed ruefully. "It has been echoing in the back of my mind for many months, nearly this entire past year, that it is long past time for me to let you live on your own, my sons," Master Splinter said quietly. "I knew that my duties as a parent and mentor were largely over; I fully believe now that there are few enemies, physical or mystical or otherwise, that could harm you, and I have taught you all that I sought to. You are grown, my sons, and you have grown into wonderful individuals. My work is done; I have raised you to the best of my ability, and now it is time for me to let you live in the ways you choose and to spread your own wings, as it were."

"So basically this just ended up bein' the most convenient way an' the best timing, huh?" Raph said thoughtfully. He shrugged, though a frown still remained etched in his forehead. "Well, I guess you know what you're doin', Sensei. A little more warnin' woulda been nice, though."

I gaped at Raph. Normally he took things like this the worst, or at least voiced his displeasure the loudest. Now suddenly he was okay with it?

"I know, my son, and I am sorry for the suddenness of the news," Master Splinter said, bowing his head in apology. "I am not leaving immediately, however. I will stay until your…transformations are complete. I am most interested in seeing the kind of humans you will make, my sons." He smiled at us softly. "That being said, I know you still have preparations to make in order to be ready to leave tomorrow. Before we leave our home, I shall present each of you with your last lesson, the final thing I wish you to learn. I am going to gather my belongings, and while I do, I would like for each of you to come see me individually." With that, he stood and walked quietly off towards his room.

The four of us looked at each other, trying recover from the news Sensei had sprung on us and trying to figure out who would go first. I knew that I at least was equal parts curious and apprehensive about what Sensei wanted to say to me. What lesson would he have for me that would be so important that he would save it, leaving it to be the last thing he taught me? Or was it, as I was starting to hypothesize, more that it was a long-term lesson, something he wanted me to accomplish or keep in mind once we were on our own? That sounded a bit more like something Master Splinter would do, but I couldn't be sure. I hazarded another glance at Leo, knowing that Raph and Mikey were doing the same; of all of us, Leo probably had the most to talk to Sensei about, but he wasn't making any motions to follow Master Splinter to his room.

Mikey was the first to move, rolling back onto his shell and then performing a kip-up to gain his feet. "Well, if the rest of you guys are just gonna sit here, I guess I'll go."

Raph shrugged. "Ladies first."

I couldn't help snickering. "You walked right into that one, Mikey."

"You guys have just never gotten over the fact that I'm the prettiest…or that I'm—"

"Don't you dare—" Raph snarled.

Mikey just grinned. "Battle Nexus Champion!" he sang as he danced out of Raph's reach and darted for Sensei's room.

Raph grimaced and cracked his knuckles. "One day soon, we are really gonna have to put him outta our misery."

* * *

**Splinter**

I moved slowly about my room, gathering up my belongings. In truth, I did not have much to pack, as I would be leaving all the furniture here, except for my futon; the Ancient One's home was already furnished, and he had urged me to make myself at home. Regardless, I preferred my own bed; it had the support and comfort that best fitted my old bones. I would have a few boxes, though, mostly filled with mementoes of and from my sons; a few photo albums, past Christmas and birthday gifts, and some spare masks of theirs. The rest consisted of a wide range of items. I would be taking my picture of Master Yoshi, of course, and the spare robes and thick blankets my sons had insisted on giving me as the years progressed…blankets I was admittedly thankful for. The winters of New York, especially in such an old building as our water plant, were rather hard on my old bones, though Donatello had done wonders to make us more comfortable. I had a few packs of incense that I preferred that would accompany me as well; I was rather particular about my favored scents, and I did not know when, where or if I could find more in Japan…at least, any that someone of my nature would be able to easily procure.

I had only filled one box before a careful knock sounded at my door.

"Sensei?"

"Michelangelo." I turned to see my youngest slip into my room and slide the door closed behind him. I set down my handful of candles and knelt on one of the cushions on my floor. "Have a seat, my son."

My youngest grabbed a cushion and pulled it closer to mine, then knelt in _seiza_, a position I knew he usually disliked. I was glad to see that he recognized this as a time of teaching, however unusual or informal. It reassured me that what I had to say, the task I was about to set, would not be as difficult as I might once have thought.

I regarded Michelangelo quietly for a moment, wondering, as I did more and more often these days, at just how much he had grown, just how much he had changed from the small, defenseless little turtle I had found so many years ago. No longer did I look at a child; I now looked at a young man. I shook myself before I lapsed any farther into nostalgia, and met my son's eyes.

"Before I begin, my son, I wish to explain a few things about this lesson, this task I am about to charge you with. I am setting no deadline, detailing no lesson plans, and leaving the method to your discretion. How you learn this lesson—and indeed, whether you learn it—is entirely up to you."

A look of confusion passed across Michelangelo's face, but he merely nodded carefully.

I took a deep breath, knowing the weight of what I was about to lay on my son, but still believing it was something he needed to hear. "Michelangelo, my youngest…I charge you to learn responsibility and dependability. All who meet you know that they can depend on you to lighten their spirits and chase away despair; seek to show them that they can depend upon you for strength and aid, and for _serious_ counsel, as well. You see the world differently than those around you. I know that you could touch so many lives with the joy that you find as easily as breathing. Your optimism and creativity can be a benefit to all, but for all to heed you, they must know they can count on you. Those who are listened to are the ones who are respected and trusted."

"So…I gotta grow up, huh?"

I could not help a smile. "I do not know if you have noticed it or not, but you already are grown up, Michelangelo. What I am charging you with is to mature. You have changed greatly from the child you once were, and you must show that. I know that you prefer levity to gravity, and while I do not want you to stifle the great spirit you have, I need to know that you will be a pillar of strength and reliability for your brothers throughout this time. Of all of you, you adapt to change the best, Michelangelo, and I hope that you will be able to set an example for your brothers in that."

Michelangelo nodded again, his expression pensive. "I…think I can do that, Sensei. If they'll listen to me."

"Therein lies my point, Michelangelo," I agreed gently. "We both know that oftentimes, your brothers disregard your opinions and suggestions because they do not trust you to be serious while you offer them. You have learned to keep levity out of your battles, and as such, your brothers trust you more on your patrols, and are more comfortable with having you as backup, correct?" At my son's nod, I continued. "Take that concept, that balance of who you are and who you need to be when faced with certain situations, and apply it to the rest of your life. I do not wish to see your light extinguished or diminished, merely...properly contained. It is like banking a fire, Michelangelo; by setting boundaries and tending it carefully, you keep the fire burning through the night to banish the darkness, yet at the same time, you do not let it spread out of control. That is what I would like to see in you, my son."

"I gotcha, Sensei." Michelangelo grinned at me. "I'll come visit you once I'm all mature, and we can talk about the meaning of life and meditation and other boring stuff, and I won't even fall asleep."

I could not help but chuckle at my son. It would be interesting to see what kind of person he would become within a few months in this new world. "I look forward to it, Michelangelo." I reached out and embraced him tightly, setting a hand on his head as I leaned back. "Please send in the next of your brothers."

"You got it."

Scarcely a minute went by before Donatello came in, wearing a concerned look that was becoming more and more familiar to me as I grew older and Donatello grew more worried about my health. I stayed silent, waiting for him to settle in and speak, knowing that he had several concerns he wished to voice.

I did not have to wait long.

"Sensei, I have to say, I completely understand your desire to retire and move somewhere more welcoming and comfortable than the sewers or an old water treatment plant in New York, because heaven knows we don't get the best weather here," Donatello said, rushing through the words without a breath and at a speed that admittedly impressed me. "I've talked to Leo, and he says that the climate at the Ancient One's home _is_ a good deal more temperate than ours—I do want to know how it manages to have its own climate, but that's neither here nor there." Donatello finally paused for a breath, looking up from his knees to frown at me. "Sensei, I understand all of that, I do, but I have to say, this hardly seems to be a wise decision. I mean, you'll be quite literally on the other side of the world from us, living by yourself in a place that apparently, few, if any, people even know exists. The only people who will know you're there are two—two yeti/snow demon hybrids, apparently, and from Leo's reports, I hardly think that they are ideal as individuals to turn to in case of trouble. You'll be unable to contact us if something should happen, and if something _does_ happen, we have no way of getting over there to you quickly, if at all. I just don't understand why you—"

"Donatello."

My son's jaw snapped shut with a light click. "Yes, Sensei?"

"Do you trust me, my son?"

Donatello's eyes widened. "Of course I do, Master Splinter."

I smiled gently at my son. "Then trust that I know what I am doing and how to take care of myself." My son's intellect was something I had always been proud of, but I knew too just how much of a burden it was to him; he knew of so many things that could go wrong, with health particularly, and that knowledge brought with it a good deal of worry.

"I just—" Donatello sighed, and looked down at his hands sheepishly. "I'm just worried, Sensei. I mean absolutely no disrespect, but…you're not as young as you once were, Master Splinter."

I could not help raising an eyebrow at that. "And you think such a thing has escaped me?"

"No! No, of course not, it's just…I worry," he repeated softly. "What if you fall, or get sick, or if someone somehow stumbles upon the house and tries to attack you? Who will you go to? I—we can't help from half a world away."

My heart tugged at the worry in his voice, and the depth of love that I knew had birthed it. I never failed to marvel everyday at how lucky I was to have such wonderful sons as I did. I reached out and rested a hand on Donatello's head gently. "My son…I thank you for your concern, but truly, I will be fine. I know that our separation worries you; it worries me as well. Do you think this coming change is just a trial for you?" I shook my head. "I have the same fears, my son. What if something should happen to _you_? What if someone should happen to stumble upon the truth of your past, or if an old enemy should recognize you? What if you are not happy? In a family such as ours, one that has been together and so interdependent for so long, such worries about separation are natural. But my son, I truly feel that this is necessary. You and your brothers need your freedom, and to learn to rely on yourselves and each other rather than me." I smiled slightly, sitting back and patting my knees. "And I need someplace quiet to center myself and recover from the past few busy years. And we will not be completely cut off, my son. I know how to use the phones you have created, and you all know the markings and the incantation needed to get to the Battle Nexus. Should something arise, all you need to do is call, and I shall meet you at the Nexus. And should you think something has happened to me, go to the Nexus and speak to the Daimyo, and ask if he will use his war-staff to send you to me. We are always connected, my son."

Donatello sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "Thank you, Sensei." He grinned sheepishly. "Now that I'm done freaking out, it's probably time for my lesson, huh?"

I smiled as well. "Indeed it is." I repeated the same words to Donatello as I had to Michelangelo, regarding my intentions and wishes for the learning of this lesson, then began Donatello's personal part of it. "Donatello, my brightest son. Your lesson is to learn about others; not what makes them 'tick'—you already know the human body down to its smallest cells, I am sure—but who they are. You have a gentleness, a love and respect for life within you than many should seek to emulate; interact with your…your fellow man, and show it to them. Many cannot see your gentleness, because they see and are intimidated by your machines and intelligence, and they expect you to be as imposing as your inventions. Teach them otherwise. Do not let your work consume you. Also, learn how incredible of an individual you are. In the world of shadows you have grown up in, I fear you have come to share your enemies' opinion of you, and have viewed your reluctance to cause harm as a weakness. It is not. All martial arts are about self-mastery. One learns about battling and oneself so that _when necessary_, one may defend one's self. The martial arts are not about only offense, but defense as well. Your view is different, not wrong or weaker. It takes strength to wish to solve things with words and intellect rather than force." My smile grew as I looked on my son with pride. "Take pride in that strength of yours, Donatello, and show it to others. Show them that while your mind may be miles away, spinning miracles out of the smallest things, your heart and soul are right here on earth."

Donatello nodded thoughtfully, and like with Michelangelo, I found myself anticipating seeing what changes this lesson would make in my son. Hopefully, this new way of thinking would boost his self-esteem, and give him some of the confidence I felt he lacked or could not cultivate in the shadows of his more physical brothers. He had grown into himself greatly over the past years, but he still held to some of his old self-doubts. I hoped that the support and admiration, and the chance to demonstrate his knowledge, he would find in the human world would erase the last vestiges of that.

"I'll try, Sensei. I just hope I get a chance to make some miracles."

I smiled and shook my head. "Donatello, I do not doubt that once the world sees what you can do, they will ask only that you continue doing it for as long as possible."

My son grinned wistfully. "That'd be nice."

"Your future is what you make it, my son. I find it hard to believe that one such as you could not achieve anything you wanted, given the drive and knowledge that you have," I said firmly, unable—and unwilling—to hide the pride in my voice.

He ducked his head and smiled. "Thanks, Master Splinter. I'll…go send Leo in now."

I nodded, letting my son depart once I'd claimed a hug. "Thank you, Donatello."

As I watched Donatello slip out of my room, I sighed and sought to center myself. I knew that speaking to Leonardo, imparting his lesson, would be difficult for both of us. It was one I was hesitant to give to him, honestly, and one that I feared he would not be anxious to learn. Letting his brothers go, learning to live without them, to live for himself…I knew it challenged all that I had taught him. I knew, even if not fully, what I was doing to my son when I made him leader back in his youth, what I was asking him to give up, to do, to be. And now I would be asking him to try and recover from some of that, and I knew it would be difficult. Perhaps I should have started him on this road a while ago, but I did not think such an opportunity as my sons' impending change would arrive so soon and suddenly, and now it was rather too late for a gradual change in Leonardo's lifestyle. Just as he had all those years ago on the rickety pipes in the sewers, my son would have to face his fears head on. I did not know how Leonardo would adjust to such change; I could only hope that it would come easier for him than he expected, and that his brothers would help, rather than hinder, his progress.

A soft knock sounded at by door. "Come in, my son."

My eldest entered soundlessly, closing the door behind him and sinking smoothly into _seiza_ before me. He stared at me silently, and I wondered if he would speak his concerns as his brothers had, or if he intended to just keep them to himself.

"Leonardo, my son; we have already partly discussed your lesson, but I shall repeat and expand upon it," I began slowly, searching for the right words. "Learn to let your brothers go, to let them live their own lives. And learn to live your own life as well. All of you are grown, and as experienced as I could make you. I am not asking for separation, or abandonment of the clan, merely…a shift in view. Without the kinds of enemies or duties facing you as we have now, you and your brothers can be more of a family than a clan. Find yourself, who you are beyond your duties and obligations, and discover what brings you joy."

I bowed my head slightly. "I know that I caused the loss of much of your childhood, my son, and that those years can never be regained." I raised a hand, forestalling my son's objections; while he might try to protest my words, I knew the truth of what I had done and what my decisions had caused. "But now…now you are in the prime of your life; you are healthy, fit, and strong in so many ways. I want these, your best years, to be spent enjoying the world that is now open to you. Live how you wish; find out how you enjoy whiling away hours you no longer have to spend minding your brothers. You are still _chuunin_, but I ask that you try to set that title aside and live more as brother and individual now."

Leonardo nodded, but looked slightly puzzled. He opened his mouth, then hesitated a moment before speaking. "Is that it, Sensei?"

There was no helping the smile that pulled at my muzzle. "Is that not enough?"

He ducked his head in contrition. "I didn't mean to—I just…it doesn't seem like very much of a lesson, or a challenge."

"Some lessons are easier than others to learn," I allowed with a nod. "I hope that this is one such lesson."

"Sensei…it sounds as though you just want me to—to go up there and live as a human."

I smiled. "That is exactly what I want you to do."

Frustration flashed across Leonardo's face for an instant. "I don't understand."

"Leonardo, you have learned every lesson that I can think of to teach you," I said, trying to explain myself. I had thought that this might be a difficult concept for Leonardo to grasp, given how abstract the task was. "This is all that you still need to learn, in my mind. You already know how to be a warrior, and a leader, and a ninja. What I want now is for you to learn what it means to be an individual, and to revisit what it means to be a brother. That is all."

He blinked at me owlishly. "Oh. I…but how?"

"That is what you must learn, my son. Only you can find yourself." I reached out and ran my hand across his forehead, seeking to smooth away the confusion and worry that was already furrowing his brow. "Do not think too hard on this, Leonardo. This was meant to be a simple lesson, not a trial. Just live, and be happy in whatever life you shape for yourself, my son. Sample what life is like outside of the shadows and the peril we have lived in for so many years. That is all I ask."

Leonardo gripped my hand and stared at me intently, as though he searched for something. Finally he nodded, squeezing then releasing my hand. "I…I'll try, Sensei."

"That is all I can ask for, Leonardo." I winced at a loud crashing that resounded from beyond my doorway. "Would you send Raphael in now, before he breaks Michelangelo or anything else?"

A familiar, put-upon expression of resignation crossed Leonardo's face as a high-pitched scream—Michelangelo's, though I never could figure out how he reached such octaves—reached our ears. "_Hai_, Sensei. He'll be in shortly." He slipped out of the room, and I could hear him chastising his brothers, followed by the rising furor as both tried to defend themselves. Finally, though, the tumult died down, and I could hear the heavy footsteps of my most temperamental son approach my door. A solid knock shook the delicate paper door, and I winced slightly as it quivered in its track.

A rather heated phrase from the other side of the door showed Raphael realized his…_enthusiasm_ as well, and the door slid back carefully, revealing a rather guilty-looking warrior. He grimaced and closed the door with even more gentleness. "Sorry 'bout that, Master Splinter."

"It is alright, my son. Nothing is broken." I raised an eyebrow. "And I trust that goes for your brother as well?"

Raphael scowled half-heartedly and huffed a sigh. "Yeah, he's fine. The little whiner was usin' Don as a shield almost the whole time, so I hardly touched him."

"I appreciate your restraint, Raphael, and I am sure Donatello does as well. If you would have a seat?" I waited for my son to sit down before taking a breath and beginning the last of my sons' lessons, feeling as though I was closing the door on a precious, precious part of my life.

Perhaps because I was.

"Raphael, my fiercest son…your lesson will not be a simple one; but then, any lesson worth learning seldom is. I charge you to learn to bank your inner fire. Not to douse it, because your life and vivacity defines you as much as your name does, but to bank it; to temper your edge. This will require learning patience, restraint and understanding. Seek to understand others; it will make it easier to be patient with them if you know why they act the way they do. If you practice restraining your temper and impatience, you will do and say fewer things you will regret. There is a proverb: you never have to unsay anything you did not say in the first place."

I smiled at Raphael's slightly sheepish expression, and continued. "I know you, my son; though you are slow to trust, those who earn your trust and a place in your heart are loved fiercely. It would hurt you to lose any of them because of rash words or actions, and so you have learned to remove yourself from them when your anger flares. You must try restraint instead, my son, or you will forever be distancing yourself from your brothers and friends. All who know you understand that you are not as hard as you seem, and understand that you say things you do not mean when anger grips you. But do not rely simply on their understanding, for your tongue is sharper than you know. My hope is that with this new freedom, this lack of restrictions, and the acceptance of the humans, your restless spirit will have much less to rage against and will grow calm. And hopefully, with a calmer spirit, you will find it easier to love and show love."

Raphael made a face and rubbed the back of his head. "I can't make any promises that I'll pick up on that real fast, Sensei."

"As long as you try, my son, I shall be content. I am not setting a deadline for this, merely asking that you keep these ideas in mind as goals to work towards."

"I can do that."

I smiled. "I know that you can." I fell silent, gazing at my son for some time, treasuring these last quiet moments with my sons as I had always known them in the home that had sheltered us for so long. "I love you, my son. You and your brothers, so very much."

If Raphael had been capable of blushing, I believe those words would have triggered such a thing. He shifted slightly, glancing towards the door, back at me, then down at his hands. Leaning forward hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around me in a light hug, as though he thought I might break at the touch. "I love you too, Master Splinter. We all do. And…and we appreciate you lettin' us do this. Even Leo, even if the bonehead doesn't know it yet."

My arms slid around my son's shell as well, returning the embrace before he leaned back. "I am glad to do it, though you truly are in charge of your own lives. As for Leonardo…" I hesitated, weighing what I wanted to say. I wanted to ask Raphael to look after his brother in the months to come, to help him acclimate, but would I be doing to him what I had done to Leonardo? …No, no, this was different. This was aid and a helpful, watchful eye, not leadership or near-guardianship. And Raphael understood the balance of self and duty, opposing his brother in that balance, as he did in nearly everything. He would not let such a weight crush him. "As for Leonardo, I would ask that you watch over him, Raphael. Help him to get through this time, to grow accustomed to this new world. He will be very out of his element, I fear, and may be unwilling to admit it. You know the human's world, perhaps better than your brothers, and I ask that you…immerse Leonardo in that. Do not force him into anything, as he might pull away, but…"

"But bring 'im outta his shell," Raphael finished for me, grinning slightly. "Pun fully intended."

I nodded, a rueful smile curling my mouth, both at how well my son knew my worries, and his unfortunate joke. "Yes, Raphael."

He sobered and met my eyes, nodding. "I'll look after 'im, Sensei. Much as he'll let me, anyways. I think he'll be okay. He just gets antsy 'bout new situations that he doesn't know anythin' about. Once he realizes that the worst we gotta deal with as humans is probably never gonna be worse than muggers and the occasional nutjob with a gun, he'll calm down."

"Do you believe there is something out there for him? A…human vocation he would enjoy?" I asked hesitantly.

Raphael stared off to the side for a minute, then looked up at me and grinned. "He could always teach martial arts."

I returned the smile, watching my son as he stood and bowed, heading for the door. As he slipped out and caught up with his brothers, I could hear their quiet, comfortable talk and my smile deepened. I closed my eyes, breathing in deeply and absorbing as much of the moment as I could, locking the memories of this last night away in my heart, where I could treasure it for years to come.

Yes, they were ready. It was time for change.

* * *

**Michelangelo**

The ride up to the farmhouse was one of the quietest ones we'd ever had, second only to the time we were bringing Leo up there to recover after April's shop was destroyed. It was a lot warmer in the trailer this time around, though, considering it was June rather than December. I know I was still trying to process the whole 'Sensei's leaving' thing, and what he'd said was my last lesson, and I figured everyone else was, too. I wanted to say something, crack a joke or just start talking, anything to break the quiet, but it was one of those heavy silences, the kind that I felt like I wasn't strong enough to lift. And beyond that…I just couldn't help remembering what the Lair had looked like as we left.

It was empty. It…it didn't look like home anymore.

We'd basically gone through everything we owned, grabbing stuff to take with us while we were up at the farmhouse and figuring out what furniture was in decent enough shape to keep and take to the apartments we'd probably have once the change was done. We ended up moving all the best stuff up into a warehouse near the Lair that no one ever came by, and by the end, only a few things were left; the oldest couch, some of Don's equipment and Raph's weights, and the old generator. Don had shut everything down and we'd barricaded the doors as we left, and I just…I felt like we were losing something, something really important.

We could never go back to that again. All of a sudden, the Lair wasn't really home anymore; home was some place out in the city that we hadn't found yet. And that was kinda exciting, thinking there were places out there waiting for us. But at the same time, it made me feel like a hole had just opened up in my stomach. Suddenly, with the sound of Donnie closing the door and Leo loosely hammering some old boards over it, the place behind us wasn't home anymore. Going back there wasn't an option anymore, at least not for anything more than a visit or to pick stuff up.

I just couldn't get over that, knowing we'd left the Lair behind us, empty and abandoned, like it was nothing special. It was just like another abandoned building now, like it hadn't been a sanctuary we never thought to find after Karai trashed the old Lair, like it hadn't kept us safe, like it hadn't seen a ton of birthday parties and movie nights…like it had never been home.

It was hard to think of any jokes when I just kept seeing what used to be our home, bare and empty and quiet. All I could really do was flip through the half a dozen sketches I'd done of the Lair before everything got packed up and try and burn the pictures into my brain, to make sure I'd never forget what our home used to look like.

So as much as I wanted to say _something_ that would make it stop feeling like that same, awful drive years ago, I didn't.

That's me, learning and acting mature already. How's that for progress?

…Well, that and it's kind of pointless (and uncomfortable) to tell a joke when you already know that no one will laugh. So instead, I flipped past my sketches of the Lair to the back of my sketchbook. I'd started a list there of things I wanted to do once we were human and we'd gone back to New York. It wasn't too long yet, but I had plans. I had twenty-one years of nightlife and day-life and everything one of the entertainment capitals of the country can offer to catch up on, and I wasn't going to forget anything. Glancing up, I saw that everyone was still in thinking- or gloomy-mode, so I took a deep breath and cleared my throat like Leo did when he was trying to get our attention.

I sounded like I had a hairball, but at least it made everyone look up.

Don was staring at me, looking concerned. "Are you choking on something, Mikey?"

Well, that helped. "Uh, no. I have a very important question to ask you guys." I held up my sketchbook, with the words 'to do list' underlined. "What are we doing first once we turn human? Spare no gory details…except for the really gross ones. Those I don't need to know."

Raph grinned. "Hit the clubs and bars. Enter a martial arts competition."

"We did not take this opportunity just to go bar-crawling and get drunk," Leo protested.

All Raph did was shrug. "Maybe you didn't," he drawled with a grin. "Besides, _you're_ the one who brought up drinkin', Fearless, not me."

I scribbled Raph's suggestion down, making a note beside it for my own reference ("try and get Leo drunk"). "Good start. What next?"

"What do you have down so far?" Don interjected, looking like he was afraid to ask.

"Um, visit the Empire State building, the Statue of Liberty, and Broadway…go to Central Park when it isn't dark and full of creepy people—"

"And instead visit it when it's light and you can see the creepy people better," Raph joked.

Sad but true. I still ignored him, though. "—Go to a skate park, go out to eat somewhere, go to a comic convention, go see a movie I don't have to sneak into, hail a cab…and visit some the bars and clubs." I grinned at Don. "Your turn. What's it gonna be?"

Don actually looked interested despite himself. "Visit a library or two, and possibly the American Museum of Natural History. See what sort of scientific conventions or presentations are going to be in town. Other than that…I liked your ideas of visiting some of the famous sightseeing venues, and of going out to eat."

I scribbled Don's ideas down as well, though I wasn't as thrilled as he seemed at the idea of a library trip or a nerd fest. The Smithsonian was supposed to have some cool stuff in it, though. "Okay. Leo? You're next. And it better be something good, or I'm going write down that you vote for bar-hopping with Raph."

Leo frowned at me. "Mikey…"

"What was that? It sounded an awful lot like a vote for booze…"

"Okay, fine." Leo sighed and looked down, his gaze distant. A couple minutes passed before he finally said something. "…See a sunrise, and a sunset, out on the rooftops, without having to be afraid of staying out to watch the whole thing. Go for a ride on the ferry. Possibly visit the old fairgrounds. Spend a day in the park finding out what the sun feels like."

I felt kinda gob-smacked once Leo had stopped talking, surprised at the things he'd come up with…but glad at the same time. He had at least a few things he wanted to do, things that he couldn't do as a turtle, things he could do as a human that would make him happy. That was good enough for me. I grinned. "Sounds good." I added Leo's ideas to the list, looking it over. It was really coming together. "Alright. Now we've got something to do when we get back."

Don made a sound of disbelief. "You can't honestly think we'll make it through that list, Mikey. We'd be lucky to fit in the sightseeing or just going out to eat. When we get back we still have to find apartments and jobs and—"

"Bah!" I waved a hand at Don, flapping away his silly ideas about work and boring stuff. "We are entitled to do only fun stuff first when we get back to the city, my dear Donatello. It's required. And besides, it'll keep up our cover. We're supposedly a bunch of country bumpkins who crawled out of some hole in the backwoods of New York, right? How weird is it gonna look if we get there and start doing nothing but going to work?"

"You know how much I hate sayin' this, but Mikey's right," Raph drawled. "Even people from other cities, who haven't supposedly been almost entirely removed from society all their lives, all wander around New York with their mouths hangin' open like they've never seen a skyscraper before. No one's gonna buy our story if we go back there all "oh, hey, Broadway, neat; well, I'm gonna go get a job now." That'll kinda give us away, don'tcha think?"

"I've got to say that I agree with them," Leo added. "We're supposedly neophytes to modern society who, barring a handful of secret trips when our father didn't know we were leaving, have never been in a big city before, right? It'll be rather suspicious if we don't do the traditional tourism rounds. I understand where you're coming from, and we do need to secure places to live, as well as jobs, but…" He shrugged, shaking his head. "But I'm willing to bet that our 'background story' is going to be hard enough for people to believe as it is, so we need to do whatever we can in the beginning to try and make it appear as though there is some truth to our words."

Don looked like he wanted to protest, then sighed and shook his head. "Fine. But seriously, Mikey, don't expect us to be able to complete that list all at once, or even over the course of a few months. There's only so much I can get taken care of before we head back, even with the Utroms taking care of the paperwork and documentation."

"Your brothers can aid you with some of the preparations, Donatello," Master Splinter pointed out, glancing at each of us firmly. "You need not take on all of these responsibilities on your own, especially considering how all of you will be embarking on this venture together."

"Hey, we've been helping," I protested. "We've been going through Don's lists of apartments and picking out the good ones. It's just…we don't know how to hack into the places he does, or what all random forms and stuff that we need; Donnie does. We're more here for moral support."

Don snorted. "Oddly put, but right. Really, they're helping, Sensei. Most of the real work is over by now; the Utroms are going to take care of procuring and processing the various forms. We'll have to fill out quite a few forms, but we can't take care of that until we make the change and know things like our height, weight and physical appearance. But for now—"

"For now, we're here," Leo interrupted, grabbing his bags as the trailer slowed to a halt.

We all just kinda stopped and stared at each other. Suddenly, it didn't seem like this was really happening. I mean, I was totally looking forward to the change—or at least being human—and getting to see what it was like, but at the same time, suddenly I just—I don't know. I guess I'd been hoping the ride would last longer, that we'd have a little more time as things were.

Master Splinter cleared his throat lightly and gave me a tap on the shell with his walking stick. "We have arrived, Michelangelo. You may open the doors now."

"Right." I flipped the latch open and shouldered the doors open, grabbing my boxes and trying to wrestle a duffel bag onto my shoulder. Klunk complained from inside my bag when I tripped up the stairs into the farmhouse. "Sorry, buddy, it's a little hard to see where I'm going."

"Allow me to help you with those, Michelangelo," a familiar voice suddenly rumbled from in front of me as the door opened. My boxes disappeared from my arms, and once I could see, I grinned at the person in front of me.

"Leatherhead!" I grabbed the boxes back and dumped them on the ground, taking hold of LH's arm and dragging him outside so I could check out his new look.

One thing that definitely hadn't changed was that LH was _huge_. I mean, he was nearly as tall as Shaq, probably something like 6'6" or 6'7". His arms were still as thick as my neck, and he was probably close to 240 pounds, mostly muscle. He looked like he could crush Casey like a bug, and Case isn't a small guy…he just looked small compared to LH. Leatherhead actually looked really good as a human; he had kind of a Robert Redford-type look about his face—strong chin and pretty good-looking and everything—and dark brown hair, and the same eyes he'd always had (not green slit-pupil ones that show up when he gets mad, though, the normal ones). It was weird, though; even though there's obviously a big change between alligator and human, I felt like LH still looked like himself. His human look actually kinda fit him.

"Geez, you're huge!" I exclaimed, circling around him. I nudged Casey as he and April came up the stairs. "He could bench press you, man!"

Casey ogled Leatherhead, giving me a distracted punch in the arm. "_Leatherhead_? Man, you look good! How're ya feelin'? How long have you been here?"

Leatherhead smiled easily. "I am doing very well, thank you. I have been here since yesterday; I arrived with Mortu and the scientists to prepare for the Turtles' changes, and lodged here while I began preparing the house for your arrival. I do hope that was not too presumptuous of me."

Casey slapped him on the arm and waved him inside. "No way. Mi casa es su casa and all that. 'Sides, we appreciate the help; it's always a pain in the butt wakin' this old place up again each time we come up here."

"That reminds me," Leatherhead said suddenly, looking up from where he was helping Master Splinter inside. "I saw to the electrical wiring as well as the water system, so everything should be working in those areas. Seeing as how we are in the middle of June, I did not procure any more firewood, though I did check to ensure that you have a decent supply nonetheless."

"That's plenty," Casey assured him. "You're a guest, man; we don't expect you to be workin', but thanks a bunch. The electricity here has always hated me, dunno why…"

I grabbed Don as he came up the stairs. "Don! Why didn't you tell us what LH looked like? It's so cool! You didn't tell me he was so freaking huge!"

Don shook me off and aimed for the staircase. "I didn't exactly know, Mikey. It's rather difficult to judge heights through a computer vid screen. And I figured I'd just let it be a surprise when we got up here; besides, you never asked what he looked like."

"Man, I can't wait to see what we look like! We should totally take bets!"

"What you should do is take your stuff upstairs, rather than dumping it right in everyone's way," Leo grunted, toeing my boxes aside as he came in the house and headed for the stairs behind Don. "We've got a lot to take care of, Mikey, and we need the doorway open."

Raph followed him in and up towards the loft. "He's got a point, chucklehead. We already know you're gonna be in the way for all of this; don't plan on lettin' your crap do the same."

I sighed and grabbed my stuff. "You guys are such killjoys." I trudged up the stairs, leaning over the banister as much as I could so I could keep talking to LH. "So what's your favorite thing about being human so far?"

Leatherhead chuckled slightly, taking Sensei's boxes once I'd taken my stuff back and trailing me up the stairs. "I believe it would have to be the lack of fear, and the ability to walk around in the open without worry. I had a very pleasant walk around the area last night; Mr. Jones has a lovely farm, even untended as it has been for so many years."

"What about wearing shoes?" I asked as I slid my stuff under one of the beds and freed Klunk from my bag. "Does that suck as much as I'm expecting it to?"

"Ah." LH glanced down at his pair of brown loafers. "Well, my current pair is actually rather comfortable, but shoes are a bit unusual. I was faced with rather sore feet for the first two weeks while I got used to them. Clothing also seems rather stifling at first, but I am mostly acclimated to it at this point."

I made a face. At least it was still warm enough outside that I could get away with going barefoot. Wearing shoes could wait; I'd ease myself into them or something.

On to better topics!

"So where are Mortu and the others? Are we all ready to go with the big skin shift?"

Leatherhead smiled. "Yes indeed. Since Donatello sent me the results of your examinations, it saves us quite a bit of time; now that we know your vitals and normal states of being, we do not have to test for them ourselves. And if he also has some samples…?" LH trailed off, glancing over at Donnie, who gave him a quick nod, holding up his little cooler (which I had mistaken for being full of drinks the first time I saw it, which turned out to be a big and unpleasantly gross-looking _no_). The big guy smiled. "Then yes, we have all that we need. The Utroms have sent down one of their smaller ships, and it is…"parked", as it were, in the woods by Mr. Jones' barn. All that needs to be done is to have the final elements set up and calibrated to your body types. I believe that, if you are ready, we could start as soon as this evening."

Whoa. Talk about sudden. We all glanced around at each other at that little tidbit, and I think I probably looked about as gobsmacked as my bros.

"Um, actually, Leatherhead, I think it might be better if we started tomorrow morning," Don piped up, hefting the cooler in his arms. "We've got quite a bit of work to do on the house to get it back into a respectable living condition, considering how long we'll be staying here, and I really don't want to leave it all to Casey and April. Besides, that way, you and the Utroms don't have to rush at all, and we'll be fresh and rested, which I imagine will be best."

Leatherhead glanced at each of us, then nodded. "I understand. Of course, you will want a night to yourselves and to recover from your trip up here. That should be fine. Donatello, if you'll come with me, we can deliver your samples to the laboratory and explain things to those who will be overseeing the procedure. I am sure you would like to examine some of the research they have set aside as well."

We could all practically see the geek light flip on over Donnie's head, and he literally dropped the rest of his stuff to follow LH down the stairs. The big guy paused just before he left the loft.

"Ah, before I forget, is there a particular order you wished to proceed in?" he asked curiously. "We could establish that now as well."

I shot my hand in the air. "Dibs! Me first!"

"I'd like to go last, if no one minds," Don added. "I want to watch your procedures and see exactly how the change begins and progresses. Since most of it will be external, it should be fascinating."

Raph rolled his eyes and shot a grin at Leo. "Well, I know _I'm_ sure surprised by those answers."

Leo smiled slightly. "Well, they _were_ completely unexpected. I can go after Mikey if you want."

Raph shrugged. "Sure. Doesn't really matter to me."

Leatherhead nodded. "Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael, and then Donatello. I will make sure to pass that on, so that they know whose data to have on hand first. Oh, and before I forget, Professor Honeycutt wished for me to say good luck and pass on his best wishes and his regrets; he was in the middle of quite a delicate project and could not make the trip. Also, I believe he is still a little leery of returning to Earth given what happened last time."

"That's too bad," Don complained as they headed down the stairs. "I was really hoping to ask him a few questions. I thought of something regarding the transmat and wanted to talk it over with him…"

It wasn't until Donnie was down the stairs and out the door that I realized what was bugging me about him leaving. "Hey, he's skipping out on the work! No fair!" For a house that rarely got used, Casey's grandma's place got dusty and dirty way faster than made any sense, and I totally didn't want to meet any more of that dust personally than I had to.

Leo leaned over and shoved me slightly, one eye ridge raised. "Can it, Mikey. How often has the situation been reversed, hm? Quite a few times more than it's been this way. Besides, Don's been working his shell off lately taking care of everything for this change, and we always leave him with all the work of waking this place up each time." I opened my mouth to protest only to have Leo cut me off with a Look (number seven, which could be translated as follows: _"don't interrupt, I'm not done lecturing you yet, and if you make me lose my train of thought, we'll be here just that much longer while I finish what I have to say"_). "And I realize that we don't have Don's skills and therefore _can't_ do many of the things he does, but that's no excuse not to help. Besides, Leatherhead already said that he'd taken care of fixing up the electricity and the water, so all that's left for us is cleaning things up and setting up the rooms." He picked up a box of cleaning supplies and dumped it in my arms, unfairly ignoring the last-ditch attempt I was making at puppy dog eyes. "Which is pure physical labor, no excessive intellect or precise skills required."

Raph snickered and jumped on that opening like a dog on a bone. "Which makes it perfect for you, Mikey," he joked, grinning as he looked up from unpacking his box.

Oh, that was _totally_ unfair. I frowned and stuck my tongue out. "Look who's talking, Mr. If-It-Can't-Be-Solved-By-Violence-I-Don't-Want-to-Deal-With-It." I rummaged in the box Leo saddled me with and pulled out a roll of paper towels, chucking them at Raph and beaning him on the head once he'd turned back to his box of crap. "Hello, Pot, my name is Kettle."

"Okay, that's enough," Leo sighed, grabbing the edge of my shell and steering me towards the stairs. He raised a hand and easily caught the paper towels that Raph torpedoed back at me, glaring at him. "We're heading downstairs to get started on the kitchen. Raph, I expect to see you down there and helping April or Casey with whatever they need help with in two minutes. We can unpack the rest of our things later."

I groaned as I trudged downstairs. "Leeeooo…can't this wait? We just got here! I wanna enjoy the nice weather and—and the charming rustic landscape! I wanna, you know, commune with Nature and stuff! The dust will still be there when I get back from, um, frolicking with the wildlife."

Leo, Master of Destroying My Best Excuses, just snorted lightly and kept herding me downstairs. "And Nature will still be there when we're done cleaning, too. Besides, you'll be able to really appreciate the fresh air after you've been inhaling cleaning product fumes for a while. Communing with Nature will be just that much better for you." He pasted on a sincere look. "And I _live_ to make sure all of your experiences are as fulfilling and enriching as possible."

"You are _such_ a jerk," I grumbled, recognizing Leo was gonna shoot down everything I said. "I hate it when you do that."

"Do what; counter your blatantly lie-filled excuses with something as ridiculous as logic?" Leo asked amusedly.

"_Yes_. Jerk."

Leo laughed easily, and I couldn't help but relax a little and grin back at him grudgingly; Leo still laughed rarely enough that it was hard not to join in when he actually did. "I'm so sorry. But trust me, you'll get over it."

The next few hours, though dusty and gross and full of sneezing, weren't all that bad. Leo seemed to think I was gonna make a run for it if he wasn't watching me (okay, so _maybe_ he was right, but that's not the point; where's the _trust_?), so we were cleaning buddies most of the afternoon, and it was actually kinda fun. Leo and I didn't hang out too much, not for hours at a time, at least, so it was neat to just kinda talk and work (and fling the occasional used, nasty paper towel at Leo the Taskmaster; I never go down without a fight).

We were camped out on the front porch after we finished cleaning the kitchen and living room, taking a break while being serenaded by the dulcet tones of Raph and Casey as they shouted at each other and tried to fix the windows that were stuck in their tracks. It was just a really laid-back time, sitting next to Leo and chilling with some drinks. It was also kinda weird, in a way; I've always felt pretty normal at Casey's grandma's place, even if it's only 'cause no one ever sees us up there, and suddenly I was thinking 'hey, by tomorrow, we'll _look_ normal too'.

Weird. Cool, absolutely, but weird, too.

I tilted sideways suddenly as Leo shoved me gently with his shoulder. "You alright? You're being awfully quiet. Or am I interrupting your Nature time?"

"Nah, just thinkin'," I replied, shoving him back and grimacing as our shoulders stuck for a second. Sweat glue; gross. "I mean, look at us; bein' all homemaker-y and Martha Stewart-like and normal and stuff. It's just weird to think that tomorrow we'll be human, and then we'll be going out and doing this at our own places."

"Mm. That's true."

I snuck a peek at Leo. He still looked relaxed, but he was getting that tense, thinking look on his face. "You scared? Or looking forward to it?"

Leo glanced at me out of the corners of his eyes, then looked forward, scanning Casey's property. His fingers drummed rhythmically up and down his mug. "I'm not sure. I'm apprehensive, not scared; I trust the Utroms too much to be frightened of this, and…and I've thought about it enough that I've realized there's not anything waiting for us out there that is any more frightening than what we've faced in the past. But looking forward to it…?" He took a drink and peeled his bandana tails off the back of his neck with a grimace, then shrugged. "I don't know. You're all pretty familiar with my opinion of change, so I doubt you'll be surprised when I say I'm not exactly awaiting this with bated breath, but…I am curious. I want to see just how much we do know about human lives, what we're missing. And…I want to see what's out there for us."

Huh. Well, apprehensive and curious was better than totally tensed-up and dreading it. And it was one of the straightest answers we'd gotten out of Leo about all of this so far, so I was happy. "There's tons of stuff out there for us," I said confidently. "Stuff, and experiences, and people."

I could feel Leo watching me. "You think so?"

I nodded, turning to face him. "Totally. I mean, when are things ever quiet around us? Never, right? I don't really think that's gonna change just because we're gonna get all pale and grow noses and stuff. And we meet new people all the time as it is; imagine how many people we'll meet as devilishly handsome and charming human dudes?"

Leo snorted into his water, coughing slightly and wiping his face. "You're really banking on the handsome thing, aren't you?"

"Why shouldn't I? I mean, the Utroms had to get the human genes and stuff from somewhere, right? And even for little squid-guys, they have to be decent judges of what makes for a good-looking dude, right?" Leo nodded warily and I plowed on; I'd thought about this a lot, trust me. "Well, the way I figure it, they probably didn't run out and siphon DNA out of a bunch of ugly people. I'm not saying they were chasing down movie stars for us or anything, but they built their people-suits to look good, so they probably got genes from regular people that look good. Plus, I figure it's karma; after all the crap we've gone through, we deserve to be ridiculously handsome."

There was silence for a couple minutes before Leo chuckled quietly and hugged me around the head. "Your version of logic is absolutely astounding, Mikey," he remarked, brushing a hand across my shell. "Don't ever change."

I grinned at him. "No worries, bro. After all, you don't change perfection."

Leo snorted again, shaking his head. "No, I don't suppose you do," he murmured dryly. He glanced back into the house and finished his water, swatting me on the leg. "C'mon, Mikey; break time's over."

"Yes, Master," I rasped, hunching over in an Igor impression. "Right away, Master…"

By the time dinner rolled around, we'd finally gotten the old house back to the point where it no longer resembled something that oughta be condemned. I was starving, and April, angel that she was, had thrown a couple pizzas in the oven and pulled a few bottles of apple cider out of the fridge. We all sat out on the porch, being loud and having fun, and it was one of the best dinners ever.

Once we'd all finished, and were just lollin' around with cider and watching the sunset, I hauled myself to my feet. "I propose a toast!" I nodded at Casey and April, raising my glass to them. "To the awesomest, greatest humans we know; we're gonna be cannon-balling into your gene pool tomorrow, and here's hoping we make half as good of humans as you guys do!"

April blushed adorably (she's been around us so long that it's hard to get a blush these days, so I love it when I manage to pull it off) and Casey gave a goofy grin, rubbing the back of his head as they both raised their glasses.

"I'll drink to that!" Raph crowed, jabbing Casey in the ribs.

"You'll drink to anything," Don retorted, raising his glass with a rueful smile.

The best part of it, though, was when even Leo raised his glass and smiled, giving a "hear, hear" with Sensei while Raph whooped.

Cider isn't exactly champagne, but we didn't care; we chugged it anyway.

It was just one of those nights that you wished could go on forever, that are just so great and perfect that you wanna tape them so you can relive them over and over again.

All in all, I couldn't think of a better way to end our last day as not-so-teenage mutant ninja turtles.

* * *

**Raphael**

The next mornin' saw us all trudgin' through the woods to the Utroms' ship. I couldn't help bein' surprised that there was enough room for a freakin' spaceship, but as we walked into a clearin' about half the size of a football field, it made a little more sense. I was still surprised that the ship was that freakin' small, since basically every other ship we've seen has been huge, but hey, whatever works. It looked like it had a couple levels, anyways, so maybe that was how they saved on space. I didn't really care.

Everyone was pretty damn fidgety. Mikey, of course, was bouncin' all over the place, and so was Don, who kept yammerin' on at April about the technology an' processes involved with all'a this. She, Case an' Leatherhead had come with us and Mister Splinter for moral support, and they were all pretty chatty. As for Leo…hell, I could guess that he was kinda antsy about what we were about to do, but of course, Fearless wasn't exactly showin' it, other than the fact that his hands occasionally curled into fists.

And me? Hell, I wasn't sure what I was feelin' about it. I didn't like the thought of bein' out of it for more than a day, which is how long LH and the Utrom scientists had told us we'd be down for; it'd take about three hours for the whole change to take effect, and then it'd be about a day before we'd wake up, an' then who knew how long before we felt like gettin' up an' movin'. We couldn't believe that somethin' like this could take as little as three hours, but Don and Leatherhead had pointed out that Donnie's mutation after all that shit with Bishop's Outbreak had taken only minutes, after it had incubated in his body. The Utroms were a hell of a lot more advanced than Bishop, even with all the crazy shit he had lyin' around, so they could actually probably "humanize" us in somethin' like ten minutes flat, but they preferred to keep the process slow so that it didn't overly tax our bodies or whatever.

I'd personally rather have it over with sooner, but Don said I'd still end up needing the same amount of recovery time, plus I'd be riskin' havin' my DNA destabilize and unravel, so I guess their way is fine.

Mortu was waitin' for us in the clearin' when we finally got there.

"Greetings, Turtles, Master Splinter. I trust you all are ready for today's proceedings?"

Don smiled back and nodded. "We're as ready as we'll ever be. We wanted to say again, we really can't thank you enough for this opportunity. It's just huge, I can't even begin to describe how huge…"

Mortu smiled and waved off Donnie's words. "I've said it before and I'll say it again, Donatello, we are still the ones who should be thanking you. We are all just glad that we can finally do something to thank you all for what you've done for us, and for the rest of the universe." He reached out and pressed a panel on the side of the ship, openin' up a door in front of us. Standin' back, he waved us in. "Shall we?"

"Oh, we _so_ shall!" Mikey crowed, dartin' in an' immediately slippin' on the slick floors. He bounced off the wall an' slid out of sight. A few bangs an' whimpers later, we heard him from inside the ship again. "I'm okay!"

Leo sighed an' walked in after the bonehead, helpin' him stand up an' checkin' him an' the ship for damage. "Take it easy, Mikey. I know you're excited, but at the rate you're going you're going to be too injured to go through with this. Deep breaths and slow down."

Mikey sucked in a lungful of air an' blew it out, then turned to gawk at the ship some more. "Right. This is me going slow." He stood still for all of two seconds before bouncin' again when we'd all filed inside. "Can we go now?"

I snorted. "Great effort, Mikey. We're all impressed."

Mortu smiled an' gestured for us to follow him. "This way, please."

The ship was pretty amazin', I guess, but after you see yer first five spaceships, they start losin' their appeal. There were tons of machines that Donnie kept droolin' over and askin' Mortu about, and Leo kept havin' to grab Mikey's hand to stop him from pressin' buttons on the different consoles we passed. All we'd seen so far was examination rooms; med bays, storage rooms, an' the works. Pretty borin', but then I guess since the medical an' scientific crap was what we were there for, it was a good thing.

We finally came to what looked like the biggest room in the ship, at least that we'd seen so far; it looked like a regular operation room that you'd see on ER or whatever, but I'd sure as hell never seen the equipment in there on ER. Most of the machines were gathered in the middle of the room around an operation table, an' about half a dozen Utroms scientists (or doctors, I didn't know) were movin' around everything and settin' stuff up.

"This is the procedure chamber," Mortu explained. We'd all filed into some sort of viewin' chamber that had a window of walls lookin' into the operation room. "You may all wait here, if you wish, while each of the Turtles undergoes the procedure." He gestured back towards the operation room an' the Utroms in there. "Those are our best scientists and doctors, and they have already attended and overseen half a dozen of these procedures each. You are in good hands. They will be administering the mutation compound and monitoring all of you throughout your changes. Once the process is complete, they'll take you through that door," he paused an' pointed to a metal door on the other side of the room from our little viewin' box, "to the recovery room, where you will continue to be monitored and tended. That's where you will wake up, just so you know what to expect." With that he nodded to us an' headed for the door. He paused an' glanced back before leavin'. "Michelangelo? You may head in whenever you're ready. There's no rush, but they are ready when you are."

And suddenly this was it. We were there, we were really doin' this, an' Mikey's excitement looked a little more like anxiousness or fear all of a sudden. He glanced at Leo, a gut reaction; Mikey's always looked up to Leo, especially for comfort. It caught Leo off-guard—he was busy glarin' at the instruments an' doctors in the next room—but he recovered quickly, walkin' up to Mikey and puttin' his hands on his shoulders, smilin' softly. I could see a hint of Leo's own anxiety behind the smile, could see the tension in his shoulders, but the smile was good enough for Mikey, an' he returned it a little wildly.

"You'll be fine, Mikey," Leo said, squeezin' his shoulders gently. He pulled Mikey forward and hugged 'im quickly, thumpin' him on the shell. "We'll be right behind you, and we'll see you again before you know it."

Mikey grinned back an' moved over to stand in front of Sensei, shiftin' on his feet.

Sensei got real still, starin' at all of us silently, then looked back at Mikey. He smiled as well, reachin' up to lay a hand on the chucklehead's shoulder. "I look forward to seeing the kind of human you make, my son. I will be waiting, and I will be here when you wake, Michelangelo."

Don and I shoved Mikey to the door while April, Casey an' Leatherhead wished 'im luck, an' I gave 'im a last noogie before he stuck his tongue out an' slid into the procedure room. One of the Utroms came forward an' led Mikey over to the operation table, an' the door clicked shut in the quiet waitin' room.

I moved over to stand with Don an' Leo an' Master Splinter, lookin' in at Mikey through the window from the observation area. He was sittin' on the operation table after takin' off his mask, belt, pads and weapons, and he looked nervous. He was ramblin' on about somethin' to the Utrom scientists who were movin' around the lab, gatherin' things up and doin' who knows what. His eyes kept dartin' around the lab, slidin' away from the needles an' vials lining the counter. When one of the Utroms came towards him with a syringe, I saw 'im freeze for a split-second, his smile vanishin' before he forced a grin and held out his arm.

"That is the injection of the sedative and pain medication mixture," Mortu said quietly as he entered the room again an' walked up to us, standin' beside Master Splinter. "It helps the muscles to fully relax, and lowers the heartbeat and respiration, as well as other system operations. It puts the body into kind of hibernation, in order that the change might be a little easier."

"A partial stasis," Don said suddenly. "Like the one Master Splinter was in all those years ago when you were healing him."

"Precisely. It also contains elements of the healing solution that your sensei was resting in, so that any incidental muscle damage can be quickly remedied."

I frowned as another Utrom came up and had Mikey lay back on the table, another syringe lyin' on a tray in his hands. I could practically hear Leo's teeth grindin' together beside me, an' I nudged him. "He's fine. Don't get yer bandana in a knot."

Leo glanced at me in irritation before lookin' back at Mikey, crossin' his arms. "Don't try and tell me that you don't look at him and see him lying in Bishop's lab with that buzz saw above his head again, too," he replied quietly, his fingers flexin' convulsively on his arms. "I'm staying as calm as I can."

"What, you woulda wanted to go first?"

"…Maybe. Better that than watch any of you—" He bit off the end of his sentence and shook his head, lockin' his eyes on Mikey again. "I'll just be glad when this is over."

"He's fine. They aren't gonna let anythin' happen to him, or to any of us."

The Utroms began driftin' towards Mikey, attachin' electrodes and hookin' him up to various machines. They dithered about a little longer, then looked towards the window an' nodded at Mortu, who turned to us.

"If you wish to say anything, the sedative is going to take full effect soon. They will be injecting the mutagen once Michelangelo is completely unconscious," he said. He gestured at a small button in front of us. "That activates the intercom."

I glanced at Master Splinter an' my bros; none of 'em looked like they knew what to say that wouldn't freak Mikey out any more than he already was, so I did it for 'em. Leanin' forward, I jabbed at the button, listenin' as the intercom clicked on. "Hey, Mikey."

Mikey rolled his head towards us, already lookin' kinda out of it. "Raph? What is it?"

"Soon as you hit dreamland, I'm hidin' your clothes."

Panic flashed across his face. "Don't you dare! I am totally not okay with running around in a hospital gown!"

"Don't worry, I'll leave ya a pair of socks. Maybe some pink ones," I replied, grinnin'. "I think April might have some old ones with flowers on 'em."

"Man, Raph, that is so not cool!"

I laughed. "Yeah, yeah, calm down, I'm just kiddin'. Time for final bets; five bucks says you're a dumb blonde."

"I am way too intelligent to be a 'dumb' anything," Mikey retorted, stickin' his tongue out at me. "But you're on. I still say I'm gonna be rockin' the tall, dark and handsome look."

"Yeah, we'll see. See ya on the other side, bro."

Leo stepped forward suddenly. "Try not to make a mess of the table, okay?" He smiled tightly.

Mikey grinned back at the joke. "I'll warm it up for you, Leo."

I could see he was fightin' to keep his eyes open, so I wrapped things up. "Go to sleep, chucklehead. When you wake up, you'll finally have enough fingers to count to ten. It'll be hard, but we'll show you how."

"Shaddup. Hey, Raph…when you wake up, you'll finally be able…to flick people off the right way," he slurred, his eyes fallin' shut. "'Cause when you do it now…it just looks like you're pointing up…or counting or something…"

"Then we'll both have somethin' to look forward to," I joked. "See ya later, Mikey."

"Later…"

We all watched as Mikey faded out and the Utroms started hustlin' around the operatin' room. All the muscles in Leo's arm were tight under my hand, Don's face was shiftin' between interest and anxiety, an' Sensei was tryin' to watch Mikey even though you could tell seein' him there in a lab was damn hard for Sensei to stomach, an' things suddenly sank in for me, too; this was it. This was the end of our old life, the life we'd started lettin' go of yesterday when we locked up the Lair an' left New York. But now…now it was final.

There was no goin' back now.

Humanity…ready or not, here we come.

* * *

**A/N: Wah! It's done! . I am so glad to have finally finished this one, especially considering how long it's been sitting on my hard drive/flash drive. I hope it was up to par and that you liked it, and as always, reviews, concrit and advice are greatly appreciated! Thank you so much for reading and sticking around and putting up with me, and please review! :D**

**(And just so you know, Chapter 5 is already in the works! :D)**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer**__: See previous chapters._

_No long-winded notes this time! This was a longer wait than I would have liked, but still not as bad as it has been. Please, read, enjoy, and let me know what you think!_

* * *

**Leonardo**

The first thing I remember being aware of once I woke was the fact that I ached all over. I felt like I'd spent an entire afternoon sparring with the Tribunal masters and their wooden puppet bodyguards, like we'd just gotten out of a fight with Bishop, and like I'd been dragged behind the Battle Shell all the way to Jersey and back—all in the same night. I couldn't remember hurting so badly in ages, and it was taking me a while to recall what reason I had for feeling like I'd been turned inside out.

I wanted to look at something other than the plain white ceiling I'd awoken to, but instead I closed my eyes immediately. My first instinct was to take stock of myself before I moved. It was habitual; if you wake up somewhere and you don't know where you are, make sure you aren't hurt and that you can get up and fight (or escape) before you show you're awake. Oddly enough, though, nothing in particular hurt; every part of my body just ached. I didn't remember fighting anyone, though, and before the Utroms—

Oh, right. That's where I was.

I forced my eyes open, blinking again at the light above me. It was relatively dim, but the lights still felt like they were burning into my eyes, like I hadn't opened them for a while. Which, if I remembered correctly what Mortu had said about how long the process and recovery would take, I _hadn't_. I shifted slightly, trying to alleviate some of my discomfort, and started as an Utrom suddenly leaned over me, the metallic, humanoid form catching me by surprise.

"Good evening, Leonardo," the Utrom said softly, moving closer and to the side so that I could see his real body as well without moving my head. "My name is Or'twel. How are you feeling?"

How to put this mildly…? I licked my lips. "I feel as though I got run over by a herd of elephants."

The small alien blinked, then nodded sheepishly, one tentacle coming up to scratch its face hesitantly. "Ah. Yes, there is some considerable discomfort after the procedure, I hear; it is an expected reaction, considering what your body has gone through. If you wish, I can fetch some additional pain-suppressants for you."

I frowned slightly, noting absently in the back of my mind that the motion felt oddly different. "Additional?"

Or'twel nodded. "We have maintained a certain amount within your systems since the procedure, in order to ensure that any pain or discomfort is limited as much as possible. It is necessary; there is already a considerable amount of strain placed on your body, and signals of pain from your nerves would add to that, taxing your central nervous systems and threatening to seriously complicate the process. Also, we wished for you to be comfortable. It is our intention to help you, not to cause you pain."

"Oh." The technicalities seemed to blur inside my head, though I felt like I ought to be able to understand them. I shrugged it off. "Well, thank you. I appreciate it."

"You are most welcome," Or'twel replied with a nod. "Are there any other problems? Nausea, dizziness, any specific pain?"

I looked back up at the ceiling to focus, concentrating on taking stock of my body, then shrugged minutely. "I don't think so. Just a rather full-body ache. How soon can I get out of here?" I asked, hoping to work out some of the discomfort by moving my aching muscles.

My question brought on some rather fervent head-shaking, both from Or'twel himself and his metal body. "Oh, not for some time yet. I am actually surprised you have woken already and are still awake. Judging by past results—though they of course will vary between size and species change—it will take one to three days for the general pain to fade and before I imagine you will feel up to moving."

All of the aching and itching in my muscles seemed to double in intensity at the thought of that much inactivity. "So I just have to lie here?" I asked, trying not to sound like I was complaining.

"I'm afraid so," Or'twel replied apologetically. "If it is of any comfort, you will most likely be sleeping through most of it."

That caught my attention. "You're drugging us?"

Or'twel raised a placating hand. "Only for your own sake, Leonardo. As you no doubt know, sleep is the best healer for the body after extreme physical exertion, and that holds no less true in this instance. To that extent, yes, we have mild tranquillizers added to your systems, in order to induce and maintain the kind of deep, healing sleep necessary to speed your recovery. We also are providing you and your brothers with painkillers, though the administration of both is temporary and limited, and only maintained long enough to ensure your health." He placed a careful hand on my arm gently, in an abbreviated pat that my suddenly sensitive skin was glad was kept short. "We were told by Mortu and Leatherhead that to be so medicated is an unpleasant idea to you and your brothers. We do not wish to cause you any distress. The other IVs you bear contain only various nutrients and medicines designed to provide your bodies with necessary sustenance and help to combat any damage."

"Oh. I…thank you. So, the procedure went well? Have my brothers woken up yet?"

"The procedure went perfectly fine; no problems arose. You are actually the first of your brothers to wake, though all of their vitals are strong and steady as well. They are beside you, if you wish to examine them. I will depart for now; if you need anything, do not hesitate to call. And if you become overly fatigued, do not fight it; you still need as much rest as possible to recover."

I nodded halfheartedly, listening as Or'twel left, his exit a series of surprisingly quiet clicks, given his metallic body. Once I could no longer hear him, I took a deep breath and released it. Wincing at my aching neck and chest muscles, I lifted my head slightly off the table and looked down at myself.

_Holy shell_.

I was human.

My head thumped heavily back down onto the padded table. I'd known the process would work, _had_ worked, but I'd just never really thought about seeing myself as a human. And yet…I rolled my head to the side and saw a pale, five-fingered _human_ hand lying on the table I felt myself on. I ordered my hand to clench into a fist, watching as that hand closed as well…that human hand…_my_ hand.

Human. It was mind-boggling…and vaguely amusing, that a human body should be so unusual and absurd to me, rather than a body such as my old one.

I knew that I was staring at my hand like an idiot, but I just couldn't get over the, well, _alien_ sight of a hand I had established as mine having five fingers—none of which were green. Glancing past my ridiculously involving hand, I saw another human beside me, and when I turned my head the other way, two other humans on my right.

My brothers.

I shifted slightly, ignoring the discomfort as I turned to look at them better. They were all bald—as I probably was too—and just…strange-looking. It was so odd to look at those humans and think that they were my brothers. And to top it off, I couldn't tell who was who; they were complete strangers to me. It was ridiculous, I know, but I felt like I ought to be able to identify them, to recognize them. I couldn't, though.

I wanted to try and stay awake, to see if I could guess which brother was which given enough time, but Or'twel had been right; I was bone-tired. My eyes drifted shut, and the last thing I remembered was thinking how odd it was to feel eyelashes on my cheeks.

* * *

I don't remember much of the next couple days. I know I woke up a few more times, but never for much longer than the first time. Conversation threaded through my subconscious a few times, but I could never pick out any words, just voices that were both strange and familiar. Occasionally I would register careful contact on my sensitive skin, cool, smooth touches that I later registered as the Utroms' metallic fingers as they regularly noted my vitals and adjusted the various drips I was hooked up to.

On what I later learned was the third day after our change, I finally woke up for good, once again regaining consciousness and faced with the same blank, white ceiling. I waited a moment for my senses to clear, and was pleased to note the majority of the sore, achy feeling in my limbs had disappeared; all that was left was the familiar itching tingle of muscles that hadn't been used in a while. I braced myself carefully and levered myself up, keeping an eye on the two wires still hooked into my arm and on the sheet that was draped across me. When no one immediately appeared at my bedside, I assumed it was fine for me to move around and stood carefully, wobbling slightly on my strange new legs. I glanced at the tables around me as I clumsily wrapped and tied the sheet around my now much smaller—and for that matter, existent—waist. Two were empty, but one other was still occupied by a brown-haired young man—one of my brothers. A quick check told me that I too had hair now, which was extremely odd to feel on top of my head; it was a light weight that tickled my awareness and eyes. Dragging a strand down as close to my eyes as I could, I absently noted that it was black and let it go. I grabbed the IV stand my wires were hanging off of and shuffled closer to the occupied bed, trying to see if I could recognize one of my brothers in this open-faced stranger.

Unfortunately, there wasn't anything really familiar about the unconscious human in front of me. For that matter, I didn't think that if I looked in the mirror, there'd be anything familiar about _my_ human form either. Not that I really cared; all I wanted at the moment was to know which of my brothers was in front of me and where the other two were.

"Well, look who's finally awake."

I turned as quickly as I could at the familiar voice, and blinked upon seeing two humans clad in essentially the same way I was, one with auburn hair and the other with what looked like white hair. I glanced between the two of them, confused. "Mikey?" I asked hesitantly, knowing I recognized the voice, but not having a clue as to which of the strangers in front of me had spoken.

"Over here, Leo," said the one with the light hair. "Whadda ya think?"

I blinked several times, trying to find any similarities in my brothers' new forms, and felt a knot I didn't know I had loosen slightly in my stomach. There was Raph's familiar posture—the firm, wide stance and crossed arms, always radiating stubbornness and strength—and Mikey's constant movement—a shift from foot to foot, an impatient twitch of his sheet-skirt, a quick head shake to clear the hair (pale blond, I saw after a moment, not white) from his face.

Something occurred to me, a thought that suddenly bothered me. "Mikey? How did you know it was me before I said anything?"

Mikey blinked at the question, then smiled. "'Cause you look like you," he said easily. "I woke up a little while after Raph, and I was watching you and Don while we waited for the Utroms to stop by. And you looked the same way when you were sleeping that you almost always do; like you're not worried for once, but you're still ready to wake up and start going any minute. Plus you sleep perfectly still, not even rolling over or anything. That hasn't changed." He shrugged, like the question wouldn't have been impossible for anyone other than him. "I just knew it was you."

It was entirely the answer of Mikey, of my brother. It was…oddly comforting, to still be recognized when I wasn't even sure _I_ would recognize myself.

"Well?" he asked again, insistently. "What do you think?"

They were still my brothers, just in strangers' bodies, just like I was still apparently me in a stranger's body. I smiled slightly, trying not to seem relieved. "I think you need a haircut."

Mikey gaped at me, then sighed disgustedly. "You are such a buzz-kill, Leo. No surprise, no shock, nothing. No exclamations on my ridiculous good looks, no 'wow, being human looks good on you', no 'glad to see you didn't melt into a puddle of faulty DNA', just 'you need a haircut'."

I struggled to wipe the smile off of my face. "I'm glad you didn't melt into a puddle of faulty DNA, I don't think I'm exactly a fair judge of attractiveness in human males, and you still need a haircut."

He stuck a strange-looking—though I suppose I should have called it 'normal'—tongue out at me. "And for your information, _your_ hair isn't all that short either. The Utroms gave us some weird hair-growth stuff so we wouldn't have to wait around for a month to get a decent head of hair. Mine is just nicer than yours."

A comment of Raph's from just before the change suddenly registered in my mind, and I grinned, glad to turn the teasing back on Mikey. "_Yours_ just won Raph five bucks; you're as far from 'dark' in your coloring as you can get."

Raph grinned back at me, the sharp shark's smile that was his trademark, and his new face seemed a little more familiar, a little more like his. "Damn straight he does. I'd almost forgotten; thanks, Leo." Never one to forsake an easy opening, he snickered and continued. "He got tall an' handsome wrong, too," he jibed, squaring his shoulders to show off the two or three inches he had on Mikey. I was glad to see that I, at least, was basically the same height as Raph, and would hopefully be spared any short jokes.

"Man, I can't believe Don left me alone with you guys," Mikey complained, scowling at us and hitching up his makeshift toga again.

I turned back to glance at Don. "Is he alright?"

"He's fine," Raph replied, coming to stand beside me. "They expect him to wake up for good any time now."

"And how about you guys?" I asked. "Judging by your lack of clothes, I'm guessing you haven't been up much longer."

Mikey shook his head, sidling up on my other side. "Maybe an hour or so. They had us run through a bunch of tests, walk around a bit to get used to it, and then said we could come back here to wait. One of the Utroms went to go let April, Casey and Master Splinter know we were up, and they're bringing clothes back with them. Till then…" He grinned and pumped his fist in the air. "Toga! Toga! Toga!"

I rolled my eyes at the Animal House reference. Raph just snorted and reached behind me to yank at the back of Mikey's sheet.

Mikey squawked and scrambled for the covering before it fell too far, glaring furiously at Raph as he backpedalled and tried to knot the sheet at his hip again. "Dude! _So_ not cool. Clothes-theft is so awkward now. Human-naked is worlds of uncomfortable away from turtle-naked."

Raph snorted again and shrugged. "Naked is naked," he shot back. "What, after twenty years of basically streakin' around the Big Apple, now you're suddenly shy?"

"Dude, that doesn't count," Mikey insisted. "Tell him, Leo."

I glanced between my brothers and shrugged hesitantly. "I don't know. I mean, as mutated turtles, we weren't really expecting to be seen, so being clothed wasn't exactly a big concern. After all, people don't normally put clothes on—well, animals. And given our old anatomy, it wasn't as—" I paused, trying to think of a delicate to put things that wouldn't get me laughed at, "—as impolite to be unclothed as it is now."

Raph snickered. "You're both such girls," he said derisively. "I'm not sayin' it's a big deal, I'm just sayin' after twenty years of wearin' nothin' more than a mask and some elbow- and knee-pads, you're bein' awful possessive about a sheet, Mikey."

"'Cause I'm really naked now!" Mikey said exasperatedly. "Like Leo said, things that shouldn't be free to the air are free now, and going pants-less is a problem."

I could feel unfamiliar heat flooding my face as I tried to keep the imagery from Mikey's words out of my head. "I didn't say it like that."

"Yeah, you—" Mikey stopped to stare at me. "You're blushing."

I blinked, trying to ignore the way more heat seemed to migrate to my face at the attention. "What?"

He grinned widely. "You're totally blushing! Dude, I could never tell if I managed to embarrass you as a turtle, but you're like Mr. Easy-to-Read now!"

I was blushing. Fantastic. This was going to get old very quickly if I didn't get used to this body and re-center my emotions.

"Well, that makes sense," a sleepy voice interjected lazily. "Before, we had a cold-blooded system—though to call it exothermic is more accurate," Don added as he sat up slowly, blinking as he examined himself. He looked us over in turn and continued his dissertation. "Now we're warm-blooded, or endothermic, and such a thing is actually physiologically possible now." He glanced at me. "You really _are_ blushing. I'd expect that more from Raph, given the red in his coloring."

"Raph's a redhead?" Mikey asked, his attention mercifully diverted. He inched closer to Raph carefully and leaned over, squinting at Raph's hair. "Dude, I _do_ see some red." He peered closer. "And _freckles_!" he added gleefully. "Raph's a ginger!"

Raph growled and swatted at Mikey's head. "I am not. And at least I don't look like someone's grandpa."

"Hey! It's _light blonde_, not white," Mikey retorted defensively.

"You're a blonde; somehow I'm not surprised," Raph shot back.

Don was wrapping his sheet around himself and carefully testing his balance at this point; I went to stand beside him, holding his elbow until he'd centered himself. He nodded his thanks and started examining me while he absently continued his conversation with Mikey and Raph. "And actually, Mikey, Raph's coloring is more accurately described as being auburn. A true redhead wouldn't have the predominant brown color in their hair that Raph does." He hummed thoughtfully deep in his throat and circled around me, peering and prodding the bones of my back.

I sighed and resigned myself to being examined; nothing could break through Don's concentration when he had a new specimen to hold his attention. I glanced at my other brothers. "Raph? Is there someplace we're supposed to go, or someone to see, now that Don and I are awake?"

"No need, Leonardo," a new voice interjected. I looked over to the door to see Or'twel walking in with another Utrom scientist. They proceeded to unhook me and Don from our drips and monitoring equipment, asking questions and testing our basic reflexes while they did so. After a few minutes they stood back and nodded to us. "You are in perfect health and free to go," Or'twel informed us, smiling broadly.

"Thank you, Or'twel, to you and all those who helped," I said with a bow, my brothers merely seconds behind me in the movement. "This…really is incredible."

They nodded back to us. "The pleasure is ours. It was our experiment that changed your lives so much in the first place," Or'twel replied. "It is only right that we help improve your lives wherever possible." They left soon after, taking the last of their equipment with them.

Leatherhead walked in a few seconds later with Mortu right behind him, both of them with their arms full of clothing. Leatherhead's mouth twitched at the sight of the four of us standing about uncertainly in our haphazard coverings. "You all look very well, my friends," he said lightly, trying to keep the laughter out of his voice, "But I believe I have some more ideal and comfortable things for you to wear, courtesy of Mr. and Mrs. Jones."

Mikey shot a glance at Raph and then darted for the clothing excitedly, rifling through the pile as soon as Leatherhead and Mortu had set down their burdens. "Woo! Clothes!"

Raph joined him, yanking a pair of jeans from the jumble and eyeing them doubtfully. "I sure as hell hope Casey washed these things before he brought 'em over here," he muttered.

"I'm sure April made him wash them," I offered as Don and I approached the table as well. I sifted through the clothing, drawing out a few things that looked at least decently comfortable; a faded pair of jeans, worn soft after years of abuse, and a loose t-shirt. Then, like my brothers, I paused at the sight of what was left on the table after we'd made our selections.

Four pairs of boxers.

"No way," Mikey said flatly, shaking his head in defiant refusal. "I don't care if he washed them, that's just not going to happen."

Leatherhead chuckled. "Mrs. Jones wished for me to reassure you that these are new, not Mr. Jones'."

"Oh. Alright then."

We all struggled into the clothing awkwardly once Leatherhead and the Utroms left, fighting with our newly lengthened limbs and forcing them into sleeves and pant legs and trying very hard to ensure our eyes stayed _only_ on our clothes. Once we were dressed, we stood there absently.

A knock sounded on the door and Leatherhead stuck his head inside. "If you're ready, I believe there are a few people who are waiting quite anxiously to see you. Master Splinter and the Joneses were waiting here for you for quite a while, but they returned to the house not too long ago to get something to eat. We let them know you are awake, and they are outside the ship right now."

I glanced at my brothers and nodded. "Let's go."

* * *

**Splinter**

I shifted my feet slightly to stand more comfortably and relieve the pressure upon my bad leg, waiting patiently with the Joneses…who, admittedly, were waiting rather less patiently.

"I can't wait to see how the guys look," Mrs. Jones commented anxiously, shifting as well as she stared at the ship, as though getting a better position would allow her to see my sons sooner. "Leatherhead and Mortu said that they made the change very well, but of course they wouldn't even give me a hint as to what they looked like."

"That's 'cause they want it to be a surprise, babe," Mr. Jones commented, slipping an arm around her waist. "Besides, you hate it when people spoil a surprise."

"Don't call me babe," she replied absently. "And I know I hate it when surprises are ruined, but this is different. This is such a huge change." She laid a hand on my shoulder and smiled gently. "Any thoughts, Master Splinter?"

"I have been known to have many of them, Mrs. Jones," I replied, gently teasing.

She clicked her tongue, recognizing the joke with a rueful smile. "Any that you'd like to share?"

I hesitated for a moment, glancing at her and Mr. Jones. These were the individuals who had befriended my sons on their first forays into a bigger world, who had stood by us through all manners of trials and tribulations with steadfast friendship, devotion and selflessness I had rarely seen before. I did indeed have something I wanted to share with them…but I did not know if I had the right. "There is one," I said slowly.

Mrs. Jones sobered at the tone of my voice. "Yes?"

I cleared my throat and faced the Joneses directly. "You are, without a doubt, two of the most selfless individuals I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Your friendship has been a great blessing to our lives, and I doubt that I could ever repay all the kindness you have shown us over the years," I said honestly, willing them to understand how deeply I meant these words, and that I realized the gravity of the debt we owed them.

Mrs. Jones' brows knit fiercely. "And we would never ask you to," she replied firmly. "You're family," she declared. "Families stand by each other and help each other. And it's hardly been one-sided; the guys saved my life. Because of you, I learned to defend myself, I've been places no other human ever has, and I've seen things that defy imagination. I found my Uncle Augie because of you. You guys have given me a family where I hadn't had one for years," she finished softly, laying a hand on top of Mr. Jones' and smiling at both of us.

"April's right," Mr. Jones interjected. "I was alone too, before I met you guys, an' goin' down a path that prob'ly woulda ended real badly. I had Ma, but not many friends, an' nuthin' to keep me outta trouble. Raph's my best friend now, and the guys are all like brothers to me too. You've given us just as much, Master Splinter, don't think ya haven't."

I gazed at the two humans who had changed and improved our lives so much and smiled, bowing to them. "Your words are very kind, and I am glad to have added you to my family; as a wise man once said, the more, the merrier, and you have indeed enriched our lives. I am glad that we have been able to return the favor in some measure. On that note…I admit that I have one more favor to ask."

"Anything," Mr. and Mrs. Jones said immediately.

"I would ask that you watch over my sons," I said softly. "I spoke to Leonardo about letting go, and yet it is a lesson that this old rat has not fully learned himself. My sons are venturing into a world in which I cannot follow, and should not, and while I know they are capable…they are still young, and still my sons. And yet, I would not have to worry if I knew you were keeping an eye on them."

Mrs. Jones laughed and knelt down to embrace me. After a moment or two she sat back on her heels and shook her head at me. "Master Splinter, did you honestly think we _wouldn't_ look after them? They're as important to us as they are to you. And as much as Don's prepared, I know there are going to end up being things they have questions about and instances where they're going to get themselves into some little mess or another." She winked at me. "Why do you think I've only been showing them rent ads for the apartments near ours?" she asked archly, her voice lowered conspiratorially.

I admit I gaped slightly at Mrs. Jones at that moment, taken off-balance by her subtle maneuvering, then recovered and smiled admiringly. "I forget far too often that Donatello is not the only genius in our family," I admitted, resting a hand on hers. "Thank you. You have set an old father's mind at ease."

Mr. Jones squeezed my shoulder and helped Mrs. Jones back to her feet. "We'll keep 'em outta trouble as much as we can, Master Splinter, don't worry about that. Families gotta stick together." He glanced up suddenly, then grinned. "Speak of the devil, here they come. Hey, my stuff doesn't fit 'em too badly, does it?"

I paused for a moment, taking a breath to brace myself for the upcoming shock, then followed Mr. Jones' gaze.

I must admit that I felt lost for a moment, when I first looked upon my sons. I knew that there was no way that I could expect them to be physically recognizable—not now when they were, truly, a completely different species than they had been only days before—and yet I felt that I was failing as a father by being unable to name my sons by look. Their auras were still the same, still as familiar as ever, yet at first glance I could not _see_ my sons in these strangers, and therein lay my unrest. It was an uncomfortable sensation, both being unable to recognize my children and realizing just how much this old _sensei_ had aged, that he was now so easily discomforted by change.

However, once the amazement and sense of loss eased slightly, I looked upon the four barefoot young men walking towards me and felt that perhaps I _could_ see my sons in these unfamiliar forms, for even if their looks had changed, their mannerisms certainly had not.

The one farthest to the left was the easiest to identify, namely because the young man in question refused to stay still for a moment. When he wasn't bouncing on the balls of his feet, his fingers kept moving, flying across each other; twiddling his thumbs, flexing his fingers, and running them through newly grown hair, the son I was sure was Michelangelo seemed unable to fight his fascination with having five fingers.

Michelangelo, like his brothers, had grown several inches, standing about as tall as Mrs. Jones now. He had a head of white-blond hair—a startlingly pale shade—that could not seem to decide whether it wished to be wavy or curly. Michelangelo had naturally retained his athletic build, and was solidly built and almost gangly in appearance, though he seemed very comfortable in his new skin already. His face was the most familiar for me, with wide eyes and moderate features, a face given to smiling more than frowning, as seen in the blinding grin that lit his features. His was a kind and young face, with warm, brown eyes that fit my most effusive son perfectly.

To his right, I was certain, was Raphael; the adamant stomp in his step was unmistakable. He kept casting annoyed glares at the bouncing brother beside him, and continually tugged uncomfortably at the collar and sleeves of his shirt, the irritated scowl on his face dearly familiar. Raphael looked old for his age, with a face made up of a firm, stubborn jaw and strong features to compliment his forceful personality. His hair, like Michelangelo's, was thick and wavy, though Raphael sported a dark shade of auburn, some of the red of Mrs. Jones' hair mixed with a darker brown. His eyes, a color of light hazel combining brown and green, stood out starkly against his darker brows, drawing attention to them easily.

Beside Raphael was Donatello, easily identified by the low, unceasing murmur of words with dizzying pronunciations that preceded him. Donatello seemed infatuated with the sight of his own fingerprints, peering at the pads of his fingers and stumbling occasionally when his focus caused him to miss a hole or hillock in front of him. One of his brothers would steady him each time, and he would flash a sheepish smile at them, the kind of expression unique only to the most inquisitive of my sons. Like Michelangelo, he had a face to inspire confidence in anyone, though like Raphael, he was on the complete opposite end of the spectrum in his coloring. Donatello boasted light brown hair and a pair of remarkably vibrant green eyes. In contrast to his brothers, his hair was utterly straight, to the point that it constantly fell in his eyes, leading him to pause in his discussion with himself to blow upward, clearing the light strands from his face temporarily. This, of course, caused him to miss yet another uneven patch of ground and stumble again, only to be steadied yet again by his last brother…

Leonardo. As unsure as he might have been about the situation, he fit his new looks just as well as his brothers.

Leonardo had quite possibly the darkest black hair I had ever seen, a shade so dark that it actually appeared to have a blue sheen to it as he moved in the light. His features were rather striking, with a strong jaw like Raphael's and prominent cheekbones. His eyes were what captured my attention, however; from a distance they appeared to almost be silver, but as my sons halted and stood in front of me, I realized that they were a light grey-blue, a rather unusual color that stood out prominently from beneath his dark bangs. He appeared to be one of the tallest of his brothers, beat out for that title only by Raphael. He also seemed slightly uncomfortable with his body still, shifting almost imperceptibly from foot to foot and settling his shoulders occasionally though he still tried to maintain his normal, easy posture.

It was startling to realize that, for all that I had never even thought about my sons as humans, I could so easily see them in the strangers before me after only a little searching. Theirs were personalities that were unmistakable in any form, and it comforted me greatly to see that.

They were attractive in the way of humans, I suppose…though I do not claim to be an expert in such matters. If nothing else, they at least had much the same kinds of appearances as many of the characters on several of my shows, and as I believe that is supposedly a status by which human attractiveness is measured, then my sons were good-looking. (I would, however, not be sharing that information with them; humility is a virtue, and the thought of what Michelangelo might do once armed with such information regarding his appearance left me apprehensive.)

My sons made surprisingly normal-looking humans, as odd as such a statement might sound. Despite that, there was no denying that there was something about them that drew one's eye in and captured the attention. From their coloring to the way their personalities seemed to overflow in their movements, there was little that was commonplace or unassuming about my sons in these forms. They had strong, attractive auras, and I could not help a rueful sigh when I realized that even in plain bodies, my sons would stick out merely by the very nature of their strong spirits and personalities. Anonymity would be unlikely; they would draw people to themselves in even greater numbers than they did now. I could only hope that would be for the best, though, and indeed I thought it might be. With a great number of friends, allies, and perhaps admirers, they would be safer; if a great deal of people were likely to notice their absence, our enemies would be risking a great deal if, by unlucky chance, they happened to find my sons and tried to capture them.

I shook my musings away; only time would tell what the path my sons had chosen would look like and where it would take them. For now, we had a great deal of work to do.

"Whadda ya think?" Michelangelo asked, turning in a circle slowly to show off.

Mrs. Jones smiled widely. "Oh my gosh…you guys—you look amazing!"

"How's it feel?" Mr. Jones asked, walking around to view Raphael from all angles.

"Awesome! And really weird. Walking is all sorts of interesting to try and pull off, and hair is—"

"Annoying," Leonardo said suddenly, brushing black locks out of his eyes.

"Oh, you have hair!" Mrs. Jones exclaimed, walking over to Leonardo and carding her fingers through it. I tried not to laugh at the trapped, put-upon look on my son's face.

"How do you feel, my sons?" I asked, tapping my walking stick lightly to get their attention.

"Odd," Leonardo said stiffly, settling his shoulders once again. Mrs. Jones gave his hair one last pat and stepped back beside me. "Our limbs are so much longer and thinner. It's like a growth spurt that came on too quickly."

"Our center of gravity is definitely off," Donatello added. "It makes sense that it would be different, considering how much we've grown and how our limbs have lengthened."

Raphael merely grunted and frowned somewhat distastefully at himself. "We're frickin' puny," he grumbled. "It's ridiculous."

"Dude, you're like the same size as me!" Mr. Jones looked offended to be called puny. "What the hell are you whinin' about? Just 'cause yer arms ain't as thick as yer torso don't make ya puny."

"I have five fingers!" Michelangelo interjected excitedly, waving his hands in front of me for inspection, just in case such a thing had escaped my notice. "Well, on each hand. Ten in total." He turned to Leonardo, brandishing one of his five-fingered hands. "High-five, Leo! It works now!"

Leonardo blinked at his brother. "You've got to be kidding."

Michelangelo's grin took on a disturbingly determined aspect. "So not, bro. Sooner or later, you're gonna high-five me. All our lives it's been high-three, and now it's finally high-five. This is history in the making. Let's go!"

My eldest cast a long-suffering look at me, and I had to struggle mightily not to laugh at the expression on his new face. I merely shrugged; I had learned many years ago that Michelangelo was not to be avoided or refused once he got such an idea in his head, and that not even anything _I_ could say would dissuade him.

Leonardo seemed to sense my unwillingness to get involved, for he sighed and looked back at his brother, whose hand was still waiting to be slapped. He sighed again. "Alright," he said, with dreadful patience, raising his own hand and slapping it against his brother's.

I cleared my throat to get their attention, and my sons turned back to face me sheepishly. "I assume this…heartiness means you all feel no adverse effects as a result of your change?"

"Not really," Donatello replied. "Some initial unsteadiness, but nothing major. It will be fascinating to see just how things have changed. We need to try a few things out, see how differently these—I mean, our bodies work."

I nodded. "Indeed. I wish to see how your training carries over. We shall have to test the differences, see what has suffered."

Michelangelo made a face, groaning. "Aw, but Sensei…"

"Much has changed about you, my son; about all of you," I admonished him sternly. "Your heights and reaches are greater, and your balance, centers of gravity, and speed will all likely have been affected. You must know what has changed before you go back to the city. Your…change will make you safer, but the city still remains a dangerous place. I will not have you return there in a safer form only to fall in a fight because you underestimate or overestimate what has and hasn't changed."

"Master Splinter, couldn't we have just one day off?" Michelangelo gazed at me pleadingly, and I sighed as I felt myself weakening. I have the will of a Ninjutsu master, yet sadly enough, it means nothing against my son's "puppy-dog eyes", as they are called. I shudder to think what my Master Yoshi would say if he could see me like this. I will blame it on the tendency of a father to want to spoil his children. Regardless, I could not refuse Michelangelo's request, and truly, a day of light movement and little strain would most likely be good for them and start them on the path to learning how to move in their new bodies. Indeed, if I was right in my suspicions regarding just how much had changed, they were going to need the rest and the chance to ease into things. And besides, the day was already mostly spent, and there were not many hours of daylight left in which to practice.

Also, with that reasoning, I did not feel quite so "played" by acquiescing to my son's request.

"I suppose. We will begin tomorrow, then."

"Woo!"

I sighed again. _Tomorrow_ I would be stern and firm with my sons.

Probably.

* * *

My sons assembled in front of me promptly the next morning, bowing before settling into _seiza_ as was tradition for our morning training sessions. It was odd to see them dressed as they were—to see them dressed at all, rather—in loose-fitting sweatpants and little else. Judging by their lack of shirts, socks or shoes, they found wearing clothing just as odd as I found seeing it on them, and nothing Mr. or Mrs. Jones had said could convince them to wear more clothing than was absolutely necessary. Even as they were supposed to be sitting still and silent at attention, they fidgeted slightly, adjusting the waistbands of their clothing and twitching the folds of their pant legs until they laid more comfortably beneath them.

I tapped my walking stick to get their attention, waiting until they were once again facing forward to begin speaking. "Now then. Tell me, my sons; what have you personally noticed about yourselves and the change in how your bodies work?"

"Our reach is longer and tends to throw us off," Leonardo said crisply, his tone leading me to think that he had discovered such a thing in a rather embarrassing manner, most likely during some personal training on his own. I admit, I was not surprised that my eldest had decided not to use the time I had given him and his brothers to rest and relax; it was not in his nature to do so. "We have the tendency to overextend, since we're used to shorter limbs."

"We can't jump right," Donatello added. "Due to a slightly different muscular structure and a higher center of gravity, we don't quite know the right amount of force needed to jump and flip like we used to."

Raphael snorted and glared at the half a dozen bandages wrapping his fingers. "I can't spin my damn sai right with two extra fingers," he muttered darkly. I managed to contain a smile; here was another son who refused to listen and wished to experiment on his own. I had lost count of the number of lessons that my sons—Raphael in particular—had learned the hard way; suffice it to say they had learned almost as much over the years from experience as they had from me.

I nodded at their contributions, then fixed my gaze on my youngest son, who was snickering at Raphael for his self-inflicted injuries. "Michelangelo?"

Michelangelo blinked, caught off-guard, then grinned sheepishly as he acknowledged the silent warning in my expression. "Um…things are a lot more delicate. Goin' barefoot kinda hurts now, and getting hit in the back is all kinds of painful. I kind of keep forgetting we don't have shells anymore."

I nodded. My sons had not allowed the novelty of the change to completely cloud their powers of observation, and had already pointed out many of the problems I had noticed myself. "Indeed. You have brought up serious issues that need to be addressed. Now I will tell you what I have seen. You all seem uncomfortable in your…new skins. You are slower, more hesitant, and ungraceful in your movements. You are adapting as well as I imagine can be expected, but you still have a ways to go to be at the level where you all belong. We shall recommence your training as of now. The only way to correct these issues is for you to work with your bodies. As you move in them more often, you will learn how to compensate for the differences in form."

My sons glanced at each other. "What should we start with first, then, Master Splinter?" Leonardo asked hesitantly.

"Begin with your first set of _kata_. Try not to think of the differences in your forms, my sons, or the attention you pay them will distract you. These new muscles are still yours; they will remember the steps and recognize the movements. The knowledge, balance and skill are all still there. We will begin with _kata_, moving through each stage until you are comfortable with yourselves, and then you shall spar each other—without weapons," I added sternly. "I will not have you fighting each other with your weapons until I am satisfied that you are in complete control of yourselves again. Now then, let us begin. _Hajime_."

* * *

**Donatello**

If the look on Master Splinter's face was anything to go by, the first workout session we had after the change was nearly as painful to watch as it was to participate in. I don't think that any of us had even come close to realizing just how much the change had affected how we moved until we started working through our _kata_. As a result, we were wholly unprepared to start running through _kata_ we'd known since we were turtle-tots and perform them like we were five again.

It probably would have been hilarious, if it wasn't utterly embarrassing and frustrating.

Longer limbs had us tripping over ourselves and stumbling into each other and landing on our decidedly sensitive backs as we fumbled our ways through flips and jumps and flying kicks. Our altered center of gravity made stances that used to be rock-solid wobbly and unsteady, or led us to misjudge jumps and land way out of form. I fell more times in that one session than I had in probably the past five years' worth of morning training sessions. Master Splinter merely stood by and watched with a pained look on his face, wincing occasionally at a particularly sad landing or unbalanced kick. I know that after the fourth time my own gangly legs dumped me on my butt, I was hoping for some helpful advice, but I remembered what Master Splinter had said and kept at it; all the advice in the world would be useless until we got used to moving in our new bodies. I could tell myself to stop taking what felt like such big steps since they threw off my placement in the _kata_, but until I grew accustomed to my longer legs and increased stride, it wouldn't do any good.

So the torment continued. By the end of an hour of running through nearly every _kata _we knew, we were all dirty, bruised, and out of breath—and for all of that, we were only slightly more in control of ourselves. We were all also annoyed as shell. So Sensei set us to sparring each other, to burn some of it off.

Yeah. _That_ went well. I couldn't tell whether we were doing more damage to each other or ourselves.

(My money was on ourselves.)

By the end of another hour, we were all a mess. We'd gotten used to pulling our punches with each other slightly over the years, knowing full well that our full strength could cause serious damage. Unfortunately, that only worked when we could completely control ourselves. As a result, we all looked like we'd gotten run over by a herd of angry cattle; Raph and I both had black eyes, Leo was sporting a split and bloody lip, Mikey had a bloody nose, and we were all covered in bruises and sweat. We were exhausted and in complete disarray; even Raph was too tired to even swear anymore.

But we were getting the hang of things.

I was just convincing myself that peeling myself off the ground would be worth the pain and effort considering the shower that awaited inside when a familiar figure stepped into the midst of our sad little pile and looked us over calmly.

"_Now_ do you understand why I insisted you practice and start from the beginning, my sons?" Master Splinter asked, his whiskers twitching slightly.

Judging by the sounds of rustling grass, Leo, Raph and Mikey were nodding along with me. Stubborn as we all were, we at least weren't slow learners on top of it; at least, not most of the time.

"Good. Then I shall see you all here again in two days at 10 in the morning, promptly," Master Splinter said, nodding to us and heading for the house.

"No worries abou' dat, Baster Splin'er," Mikey mumbled through his bloody nose, sitting up slowly and accepting a handful of Kleenex from April. "I'll 'till be here, tryin' to bove wit'out cryin'." He blotted at his nostrils carefully before just plugging them with tissue. "I'b not sure why I was so excited abou' geddin' noses," he continued thickly. "No one told me dey bleed so easily."

I stretched out an aching leg and nudged him slightly. "Remember, don't tilt your head back. Let the blood drain out, not back into your sinuses," I reminded him tiredly.

Mikey nodded carefully. "Got it, Donnie."

Tilting my head back until the world looked upside down in my vision, I glanced at Raph and Leo. "You guys will both want some ice, or those will swell up badly," I added, gesturing to their battered faces and remembering my own as I tried to blink. "Just remember to take the ice off occasionally."

Leo grimaced and heaved himself to his feet, then leaning down to help me and Raph up as well. "We'll ge' right on tha'," he replied, wincing as he tried to talk though his busted lip. "Get some ice yoursel', Don."

"Trust me, I'm headed for the freezer right now," I assured him.

"Casey's actually making up some cold packs for you guys right now," April interjected, moving in a circle as she started brushing grass and clods of dirt out of our hair. The corners of her mouth twitched slightly. "At least, he is if he's stopped laughing by now."

Raph snarled tiredly. "I'm gonna kick his ass as soon as I get a hold of him. It _wasn't_ funny."

April patted his head sympathetically, swiping at a few more stray pieces of grass in the process before he staggered towards the house, intent on violence. "I think it's just the novelty of the situation. We're both so used to you guys being in total control of yourselves, instead of—" She paused, and I could tell she was trying to think of a way to put things delicately.

I decided to save her the strain, because there _was_ no way to delicately describe the travesty that had been our recent practice session. "Instead of looking like someone severed and incorrectly reconnected all the nerves and reflex responses in our bodies?"

A small snort of laughter slipped out despite April's best efforts, though I give her points for trying. "Yes." She chuckled, then covered her mouth, glancing at us with wide eyes. "I'm sorry, guys, it's just…"

I waved her off, popping my back with a wince. Having a spine that could be stretched was still a novel and very strange-feeling experience. "No apologies necessary. Judging by the fact that I swear I saw Master Splinter's eyes closed more than once, it was decidedly painful to watch. I'm impressed you stayed."

"I'm here to be supportive," she managed, biting her lip to hide a smile as Leo hauled Mikey off the ground and supported him back to the house. "Are you coming? There are a few ice cubes with your name on them."

"Lead the way," I groaned, probing the area around my abused eye gently. If I was lucky, I'd still be able to see out of it this evening. Judging by the way it was swelling, though, I wasn't going to get my hopes up.

April paced beside me patiently as we headed back to the farmhouse, and thankfully I didn't trip or stumble once. I was glad to see that even if I couldn't fight correctly to save my life, I at least stood a chance of being able to walk away from danger.

No guarantees on running, though. Our only hope was that if we were to be attacked in the next few days, it would only be by very slow people. Or midgets who had legs much shorter than ours who we could beat by sheer stride length alone.

Or slow midgets. The best of both worlds.

"Would you mind if I asked how things are coming on the paperwork front?" April asked as we made our way into the house, pausing to grab a towel full of ice cubes from Casey before we sat down in the living room, where I'd piled all of my research and the necessary forms.

I shook my head, wincing as my neck popped. "Not at all. Some cerebral exertion would be a welcome distraction from the physical aching and deep-set embarrassment of the last few hours." I couldn't help being a little disparaging; I was a _ninja_, for crying out loud, and I had just spent most of my morning stumbling around like an inebriate with two left feet and no internal sense of balance.

April laughed, pushing on my forehead until I tilted my head back, and carefully positioned the lump of ice cubes on my swollen eye. I hissed at the cold, then sighed as I got a little relief from the throbbing that was starting to set in. I reached up and replaced her hand with mine, nodding my thanks, then leaned forward to shuffle through my papers one-handed.

"So far it's going well," I said in response to her question. "The Utroms have been great, taking care of all the delicate stuff such as contacting their compatriots in the Social Security bureau and procuring the really sensitive documents. They've saved us about two or three weeks of wading through red tape, thanks to their connections. About two-thirds of it is done already, actually; most of the rest of it comes down to filling in all the blanks pertaining to physical appearance, now that we know what we look like. Other than that, all that's left is to go out and find jobs and apartments."

"Any ideas how you're going to do the rooming situation?"

I pushed my papers back into place and shrugged. "I figured two apartments would be the best way to go. We'd never fit and keep our sanity in one, and it'd be wasteful, not to mention financially unreasonable, for us each to have our own apartment."

"Who will room with whom, though?" April asked.

"And you hit the problematic nail on the head, April. It took me quite a lot of thought, but I've actually figured that out as well, actually. Looking at all of the combinations, it's going to have to be me and Raph, and Mikey and Leo."

"You really think that's a good idea?"

"It's a better idea than the others. Our other options are even worse. First, it could be Mikey and me, and Raph and Leo." I closed my good eye with a grimace. "Disregarding the fact that they'd kill each other, Raph and Leo would also probably trash the apartment during a fight and get kicked out. And Mikey would probably break everything I tried to work on. That's definitely out. Option two: Raph and Mikey, and me and Leo. Now honestly, I would prefer this, because I trust Leo not to touch or play with anything I make, and he understands the meanings of the words 'peace and quiet'. However, I'd also be indirectly responsible for the death of a brother, because Raph would kill Mikey within a week, maybe less. In that option, I also see wholesale destruction and property damage on a large scale, so that is also out. So that leaves the third and best option: Mikey and Leo, and me and Raph. That way, we have one responsible, reasonable person in each apartment, so at least someone will pay attention to things like bills and apartment hygiene and consideration of neighbors." I sighed and rubbed my temples. "It already kind of hurts me to imagine living only with Raph, but it's the lesser of two evils."

"It…will definitely be interesting," April offered hesitantly.

I grimaced at the meaning behind her words, because I felt the same. "I know. I'm trying to be optimistic, though, and tell myself that it'll work out. I can deal with Raph in small doses, provided he doesn't do anything monumentally hotheaded or involving copious collateral damage…and honestly, with some space between him and Leo, it really should be better. I'm not trying to lay blame on him, but just by nature of how things are, Leo _is_ the cause of a good deal of Raph's aggravation; not because he tries to be, it just happens that way. And that's not to say that Raph doesn't cause a good deal of his own problems, but I've learned to give him a little lenience. I know it's probably a little _too_ optimistic, but I really think it will be alright. Of all of us, Raph and I clash the least, after me and Leo."

April cocked her head to the side, her face taking on the familiar expression that appeared whenever she thought deeply; it was an expression I was familiar with, and admittedly fond of. "You've got a point. It's just…think about yourself a little, Donnie," she said quietly, leaning over to squeeze my hand. "It's great that you're thinking about your brothers so much, but choose something that will make you happy too. I know you and Raph don't fight much, but you don't talk much, or have much in common, either; don't rush into anything that will make you miserable."

I smiled, gripping her hand slightly in return. We were so lucky that April and Casey were our friends; they had stuck with us through so much, and even through everything they'd been through because of us, April especially, they still cared about us. "I'm not, April. It's true I'm a little leery about this, but that's because I'm used to being realistic. We actually do pretty well together, all things considered. Raph and I…we understand that we don't understand each other. We got over our bad years a while ago; he realized that just because I don't like to fight doesn't mean I can't, and no longer gives me grief about it, and I realized that he is more than just his muscles and his temper. We both came to realize that we're extremely different, and we deal with it. And besides, we at least have a shared love of mechanics, so it's not like we don't have anything in common."

"Oh." April blinked, looking vaguely surprised. "I never really knew you two officially acknowledged and dealt with all of that." She shook herself and smiled. "I'm glad you did, though; I do hope this works out for you both."

"I really think it should," I replied. "As for Leo and Mikey, they ought to balance each other out relatively well," I continued. "Both of them need someone to live with, if you ask me, and they'll complement each other as well as possible, given the other options. While I've come to believe that Mikey's stuff actually reproduces and expands to fill whatever void it is placed in, Leo hardly uses the space he has, so maybe some of his neatness will rub off on Mikey if they're constantly in close proximity. And besides being the kind of person who constantly needs and wants companionship, Mikey still needs someone to keep a firm hand on him; if left on his own, he would probably deteriorate and die from a steady diet of Twinkies, Cheetoes and pop." I glanced around the house and eyed the stairs my brothers had recently ascended, then lowered my voice. "And…and I wouldn't be comfortable with Leo living on his own. I've thought about it, and at the time being, it really doesn't sit right with me."

"What do you mean?" April asked quietly.

I hesitated, listening to the sound of Mikey whining upstairs as Leo tried to tend to both Mikey's and his own injuries. Assured that they weren't likely to overhear me and knowing Raph had already chased Casey into the backyard, I continued. "Leo is still leery about this change, and is keeping it to himself enough as it is. If he lived on his own, he'd have no one to ask questions of—if he would even admit to not knowing about human lifestyles in the first place—and would just pull further away and into himself. If he's living with Mikey, I would at least know someone is looking after him after a fashion; Mikey looks up to Leo a lot, and his energy and excitement for everything, and this change especially, will be good for Leo. He'll keep Leo involved, whether our dear eldest brother wants to be or not. On top of that, Leo will have someone to take care of, which is something I think he still needs at this point. And of all of us, Mikey is the most receptive to extra attention, no matter what kind it is or who it comes from; he'll deal with any of Leo's mothering the best."

April nodded, her eyes thoughtful. "I think you're right. I think this really will be the best arrangement." She glanced over at the staircase as well, smiling as the sounds of Leo scolding Mikey and demanding that he hold still filtered down to us. "He'll be good for Leo. He's a lot more empathetic than you all give him credit for. Mikey might be able to help Leo more than you expect."

"I hope so. I think Leo will need it."

* * *

**April**

Just a little over a week after the guys had all gone through their big change, Don had finally managed to corral Raph, Leo and Mikey into the kitchen to start filling out paperwork. It was boring, repetitious work; going through dozens of forms and filling in things like height, weight, eye and hair color, and the like, but it had to be done. He'd rather ingeniously gotten Master Splinter in on it too, telling his brothers that they could either fill out the forms or have another workout session. It was only a day after their second less-than-stellar practice, when the bruises were all still fresh and painful, so it wasn't that surprising when they all agreed to do the paperwork.

"It's a low blow," Don admitted when I'd called him on his plan, "but you can't deny that extortion has a proper time and place, and this is one such instance."

I didn't want to admit it, but I was proud of him for being so sneaky.

I was leaning against the wall with Casey, having some coffee and keeping the guys company. It was the last day we had left to spend with them up at the farm, because we both had to get back to our jobs. Even if I was my own boss and could give myself as much vacation time as I wanted, I needed to get back to the antique shop, and Casey was quickly running out of days off at the auto shop where he worked. Besides, I wanted to check and see if any other apartments had gone up for sale near us.

They'd all been at their work for about an hour, grumbling about carpel tunnel syndrome and chatting about jobs and places to visit, when Leo pushed back his chair and stood, setting down his pen beside a neat stack of papers. He had an odd, tight look on his face for an instant before he stretched and smiled briefly at his brothers.

"I'm taking a quick break, Don. I've got all the forms done for the Social Security, driver's license and birth certificate necessities."

Mikey looked up. "No fair," he whined. "Don, can I go with Leo?"

"You've done less than half as many forms as he has," Don replied absently without even looking up. "Catch up to him and we'll talk about a break."

"Slave driver," Mikey grumbled, shaking out his hand before setting back at the papers.

Don waved a hand in Leo's direction. "Go ahead, Leo. Just remember, you've still got another three or four sets to get through."

"I know. I'll only be little while," Leo replied before he slipped out the door.

I frowned slightly. I could have sworn Leo looked stressed, or upset, about something, but was I just seeing things? I glanced back at the table to see Raph looking up at me, one eyebrow raised. He jerked his head slightly towards the door, glancing after Leo then back at me.

So I hadn't been the only one to notice it. I nodded minutely at Raph and finished my coffee, then went to the sink to rinse out my mug. Passing behind Raph, I squeezed his shoulder slightly. He hitched his shoulder in my grip in reply, and I found myself wondering if he didn't already know what exactly was bothering Leo. It was rare for the two of them to actually talk to each other, but stranger things had happened. Whatever it was, I at least knew he would try and keep his brothers distracted while I tried to go after Leo.

Looking up, I saw Casey watching me, his brows lowered in confusion. I gestured at the guys, whose backs were turned to me, and held a finger to my lips, hoping he would get the message and keep his mouth shut. I loved the man, but Casey Jones tended to be slow on the uptake when it came to matters that required delicate handling. If Leo was upset, he didn't want his brothers to know it, and I was going to try not to break his cover.

I rounded the table and tapped Don on the head. "Is Master Splinter still out back meditating?" I asked once he'd glanced up at me.

Don shrugged. "I suppose so. If he's not in here, that's probably where he is."

"I'm going to go visit him for a minute, then."

Mikey glanced up again, widening his eyes beseechingly. "April…take me wiiith yooouu…" he moaned, holding out a shaking hand dramatically.

I snorted at his histrionics and shook my head. "Sorry, Mikey, it's out of my hands." I waved and head for the back door, checking the porch for Master Splinter.

He was where I thought he'd be, except that he'd emerged from his meditation to have some tea. I walked over and leaned against the railing by him, watching him. I had heard his plans from Don, and I was going to miss him almost as much as the guys would; he'd been like a father or uncle to me ever since I'd met him, a father-figure to replace my absent ones.

"Ah, Mrs. Jones. Are you escaping my sons' complaints as well?"

I couldn't help a surprised grin at Master Splinter's admission of leaving for some peace and quiet. "Sort of. I'm tracking one of your absent sons. Leo's taking a break, and I figured I'd see if he wanted some company," I said lightly. I knew Master Splinter was probably worried about Leo too, and I didn't want to raise any alarm if it wasn't necessary. "Besides, if I stayed any longer, I think Mikey might have been able to talk me into 'freeing' him."

Master Splinter sighed and shook his head. "Michelangelo needs to learn that a greater degree of work and responsibility will be inherent in this new lifestyle. It is better that he get accustomed to that now, so that he is not quite as shocked about it later," he said evenly. A rueful grimace crossed his face. "I find it fascinating that the son who throws himself most carelessly about rooftops and taunts enemies he should not is so frightened now by the sight of a pen and a stack of paper."

The dryness in his voice made me laugh. I was going to miss his wry sense of humor and solid wisdom. I could only hope that humans would be welcome at the Battle Nexus, because I would hate it if I couldn't visit him. "Different enemies, I suppose. Do you need a refill of your tea?"

"No, but thank you, Mrs. Jones," Master Splinter demurred. "If you are following Leonardo, you had best go now; he seems to disappear more easily now than Michelangelo used to at bath time."

I laughed slightly, grateful for the dismissal yet realizing my attempts to pull the wool over Master Splinter's eyes was a lost cause. Given how often I'd seen the guys attempt it and fail in the past, I really should have known better. "I'll have to ask Mikey about that when I get back. Enjoy your tea, Master Splinter."

He nodded a farewell, turning his attention back to the landscape, and I trotted around the side of the house, heading for the barn. Leo usually went off to the woods, but if he was slipping away for only a few minutes as he said, I expected he might take refuge in the barn; it probably had some good memories for him, of the time he'd forged his new swords with Raph. I walked inside quietly, looking for Leo. Well-used to dealing with ninjas, I glanced up after I looked around in all the usual nooks, and saw a flash of movement in the loft. Finding the ladder, I made my way up and spied Leo, sitting back from the edge and leaning against the wall of the barn. I knelt beside him, taking his hand without a word. I found myself marveling at the fact that he had five fingers just like me, and then found myself marveling at what it said about my life I was so surprised about something like that.

Several minutes passed before either of us spoke.

"You're not going to lose them, Leo," I finally blurted, feeling I had to say something and nearly certain that was what was on his mind.

"I already am."

"Leo…"

"April, can you honestly tell me that they won't leave? That Don won't be stolen away by all that he couldn't learn or do as a turtle? That Mike won't become the world's rather than just mine? That Raph won't run and run, now that he can, until he finally feels like he's broken all those chains and actually feels free?" Leo sighed and shrugged tiredly. "I know it's going to happen. Trying to deny it isn't going to change that, so I'm just…working on accepting it." He smiled jaggedly. "My progress is mixed."

I could feel my heart clench; he always tried so hard to hide what he was feeling, and it killed me every time I saw a new example of that and how it hurt _him_. "Leo, they would only do that because they've never had such a chance before. And do you really think that even if they left, they'd never come back? You're a family, Leo, and the closest one I know. They'd come back eventually. But they won't know that you fear losing them if you don't tell them."

"Shouldn't they know?"

I frowned slightly. "How could they? Leo, you've gotten so used to and so—so 'good' at keeping things inside that it's gotten to the point that oftentimes we can't even tell _if_ you're hiding anything, let alone _what_. If you want them to know how you're feeling, you have to tell them."

Leo stiffened for a minute, his hand tightening on mine, before he sighed almost noiselessly and slumped slightly. "I can't. They've wanted something like this all of their lives…and I'll admit it, I have too, a little. I've always been the boring brother as it is; if I were to bring up something like this, if I were to be an obstacle in what should be an open path…they would resent me for it. I'd be holding them back just like I always have."

"Telling them you're afraid to lose them won't ruin anything," I objected.

He glanced at me, eyes thoughtful. "Won't it? I'm not so sure. April, I don't want to be a burden. I…it sounds proud, I know, but I don't think I could handle being visited only out of pity when they happen to remember me."

"Leo, you keep forgetting that you'll have your own life, too."

A wry smirk crept onto Leo's face as he glanced at me out of the corner of his eyes. "Doing what?" he prompted mildly.

"You'll…" I paused, wracking my brain when I couldn't immediately think of anything.

The smirk deepened for a moment, then faded. "Exactly. I feel like I don't know who I really am. All these years, I've been what's been needed; an older brother to keep the others relatively safe and out of trouble, a leader on missions, a _chuunin_ as Sensei has gotten older, but…I've had very little time for myself over the years. I don't fully know who I am, let alone what I want to do." He gripped my hand tighter, then raised our joined hands up to eye level. "I…fear this, a little," he said softly, his eyes on the (for us) odd sight of our matching skin tones as he lightly squeezed my hand. "We match everyone else now; we aren't the only ones of our kind any longer. We can blend in, and find others to talk to and depend on, and as such, I just don't see us remaining together. We're all too different to stay together if we don't have to, and I can't convince myself that we won't drift apart when we no longer have to stay together to survive."

The lost tone of his voice made my chest tight, as did the fact that I could sense some truth in his words. "Oh, Leo…"

"I know it's a good thing to have happened. We'll be safer; _you'll_ be safer. Bishop won't come after us because he won't recognize us. The same for Karai, and for what's left of the Purple Dragons. Mikey will get to the world before his light goes out, smothered by the shadows we used to have to live in. Don will get to reshape the world of science here before he's forced to take to the stars, the only place he would have been accepted, in order to relieve the pressure of all of his ideas crushing him. Raph…Raph will finally get some freedom before his captivity drives him mad, before it drives him out to fight against what he can never be until he gets himself killed. And Master Splinter will finally have a quieter, more comfortable life. He's not getting any younger, April, and I know that living in the Lair is hard for him, especially in the winter. He'll be much more comfortable at the Ancient One's home, and safer too. This is the best thing that could happen to them."

"But what about you?" I asked. I could see why Don had been so frustrated when he'd told me of Leo's response to the situation; Leo's lukewarm ambivalence was slightly maddening. He seemed to refuse to look at this situation in terms of what _he_ could get out of it.

"What _about_ me? It's never really been about what I've wanted…and I've gotten used to that. If I benefit from this, it'll be because all of them are safer. Maybe I'll find something, maybe I won't, but at least they'll all be safer and happier. I'd like to think there's something out there for me, but as of right now…I don't know what it is."

I smiled at him. "There is something for you, Leo. It'll be a chance for you to find out what you want, who you are. You can be and do whatever you want. You won't be responsible for your brothers anymore."

"April, I'll _always_ be responsible for them," Leo said, his tone slightly exasperated, "or at least feel responsible, regardless of whether I have anyone to report to, or any real need to watch them or not."

"You won't be _as_ responsible for them." I nudged his shoulder slightly. "And really, Leo, be honest; you haven't had to really take care of them for a couple years. They're strong, and smart, and they can make it on their own."

Leo nodded. "I know that. As hard as it is to admit, they don't need me anymore, not like they used to. And I'm glad; it's what I want, for them to be strong on their own. I don't want them to have to depend on me. I've always known that if something were to happen to any of us, it would probably be me. I'd prefer it to be me. And if they are strong in themselves, it wouldn't hurt them as much; they could get along without me."

I tried not to cringe at Leo's words, at the calm, almost dismissive manner in which he talked about dying. It was common knowledge to anyone who met Leo that he _would_ rather die than see his brothers hurt, but to hear him talk about it like that, as though Raph, Don and Mikey would just pick their lives back up and be fine if he died…how could he not know how wrong he was?

I pulled myself away from my thoughts as Leo continued talking. "I know they can make it on their own. But can I? I've only ever known how to be one of four, not just…one. I don't know if I'm strong enough to do what Master Splinter wants me to and let them go. Even if they don't need me, I still need them."

"You'll be fine." I scooted closer, pulling his head down to my shoulder. He had to hunch over farther with his newly-gained height, but he didn't complain; my guess was that he wanted the comfort as much as I wanted to give it. Despite legally being an adult, and much, much older emotionally than his twenty-one years, Leo—and all of them, really—were still surprisingly vulnerable at times. I never knew how to feel when they actually showed their fears and weaknesses; I was so used to seeing them all as being unbelievably strong that I was surprised when they actually acted as young as they still were. "You're strong and smart too," I said softly. "And in all the years I've known you, you have never once failed a task that Master Splinter set before you. This might be one of the harder ones he's given you, even it isn't meant to be hard, but you'll succeed. Remember, he's not asking you to abandon them or remove yourself completely from their lives. He's asking for you to give them their independence and show your own. He's asking for balance."

"Balance…" Leo murmured. His features tightened inexplicably, as did his grip. "Do you know what I think of most of the time when I think of balance?"

I shook my head, caught off-guard as my cheek brushed across the thick hair on the top of his head. Only after living with four bald turtles in my life for so long could the thought of hair be such a surprise. "No. What do you think of?"

"Bamboo rods. You remember the story Master Splinter told all those years ago, when we came up here the first time? About my fear of heights?"

I winced and hugged Leo tighter. I hated my memories of that night, of watching my home and my shop burn to the ground, of seeing my friends injured, of watching Leo struggle to breathe and recover from the intense wounds he had sustained. But on the same token, I also treasured the new things I learned about him that night; Leo was still a bit of a mystery to me, in a way that Raph, Don and Mikey had ceased to be long ago. There was so much of him that he kept hidden that whatever I discovered was like a new treasure, even if it was just learning about one of his few fears. "I remember."

"He trained me on bamboo rods. I was to balance on top of them, and even though I didn't know it, he made them higher each time. When he finally thought I had gone high enough, he made me take off my blindfold." A sigh brushed past my cheek, ruffling my hair. "I took it off, and when I saw how far I was from the ground, I panicked. I fell, and I failed."

"But you overcame your fear," I protested. "When it mattered, when Master Splinter was in danger—however real or not—you succeeded."

"Yes…after Master Splinter placed himself in danger and scared me half to death," Leo said dully. "It shouldn't take something like that for me to learn a lesson. That's what I think of these days, whenever I think of what Master Splinter has charged me with now. It's a similar situation; he once again wants me to ignore an impulse that is essentially an ingrained instinct. Letting them go, _not_ protecting them…feels just as hard now as ignoring my fear was then. And I have to ask myself…if this is another lesson that Master Splinter considers it imperative for me to learn, how long do I have to learn it before he thinks I've taken too long?"

There was nothing I could say to that. I had always known that Leo hated failing like he hated few things, but I never thought it had gotten to a point that he was afraid of it, and in turn, occasionally apprehensive of Master Splinter…whom Leo would have to explain his failure to, whose displeasure was also anathema to him. There wasn't anything I could think of to say in the face of something like that. While Leo and the others had helped me train, and while I also had trained under Master Splinter, I didn't have the kind of connection to Ninjutsu that they did. It was a form of defense, and a way to protect myself and take some of the burden of my protection off of Casey and the guys…but it wasn't my way of life like it was theirs. I knew that I couldn't understand what Leo was going through, because what was life to him was more of a pastime to me.

I couldn't really understand, but I could let him know that I was trying.

"I can't think that Master Splinter is going to put a time limit on something like this," I said slowly, thinking through my words furiously to try and make myself understood. "He even said he wasn't, according to what Don said about his lesson. Master Splinter isn't an impatient person, and I know he's taught you not to be impatient either, not even for success. I can't say that I understand how you feel, or just what this means to you, but I _can_ say with complete certainty that Master Splinter wouldn't want you to rush or hurt yourself while trying to do this. He would want you to take as much time as you have to in order to learn how to let go; as long as you are trying, I know he'll be satisfied." I bopped him lightly on the shoulder. "You're the only one who insists on rushing yourself."

"I guess."

"Leo, I'm going to tell you something that my Uncle Augie told me once," I said abruptly, the thought coming to me in a burst of inspiration. "One time, when I was really little, before he vanished, he had been going off on another expedition to a site down in Peru that had turned up some interesting artifacts. I asked him if he was going to find an ancient civilization his first day, and I remember him laughing and messing up my hair, and telling me that it didn't work like that. 'You can't find anything truly important without really searching and working for it,' he said. 'The important things take a lot of searching. My first day I might get lucky and find a cup, or perhaps a plate. Then I know that there might be a house nearby that those pieces came from. The next day I might find that house. Then maybe the next day I'll find remains of the people who lived in that house. You uncover an ancient civilization bit by bit, day by day, and then, when you have all the pieces, you can really start to learn about it, and about yourself, as well, as you compare your life with theirs. That's what growing up is like, April. You learn about yourself day by day, and then you put the pieces together and discover who you were meant to be.'"

I smiled. "I always loved how Uncle Augie would share things with me, how he put them in his terms and trusted that I would understand. It made it a little more difficult to figure it out, but it was always worth it at the end. He was talking about patience, Leo, and about setting realistic expectations for himself. He explained to me that no matter how experienced he was, he couldn't uncover entire buried civilizations in a day, catalogue everything, and be back in time for dinner. We can only do so much, and we do better if we take small steps. He was in his late 30s when he told me that, a grown man with more experience in life than you, even with as much as you've done in so few years. Don't you think he might have known what he was talking about?"

Leo nodded slowly. "I understand what you're trying to say, April, I'm just trying to figure out how to apply it to my situation. What steps can I take? Ignoring my instincts is a little different than going on an archaeological expedition."

"Well…start small," I said, trying to think of a small step for Leo to start with. "Once you get settled in the city, if they go out, try to start with not asking when they plan to be back. That should be alright, shouldn't it? You've gotten used to judging the amount of time your brothers spend on certain activities, so you ought to be able to tell when they should be back. Just remember, it's about finding a middle ground and not going to extremes. When things were bad between you and Raph, it was because you were holding him—and Mikey and Don—too close. And I'm worried that in trying to do what Master Splinter asked, you're going to go too far in the opposite direction and push them away. Find a middle-ground between those two extremes. Talk to them, include them in your life, and they'll do the same. I know you and Raph still have some trouble with that, but you both obviously still care about each other very much. Don't wait."

Leo lifted his eyes from where he'd been staring off into the distance, glancing up at me with a rueful smile. "Have I ever told you that you're amazing, April?"

A slight blush heated my cheeks. "Not nearly often enough," I teased, touched by his words.

"I'll have to work on that," he said. He took a deep breath and sighed, then disentangled himself from me with an apologetic smile. "I'd better go before Mikey starts to complain any more."

I knew he really meant before his brothers started to think something was wrong, but I kept it to myself. He was trying, and pushing him wasn't going to help. I brushed some straw off of the back of his shirt and gave him a push towards the ladder. "Heaven forbid," I joked back.

He waved as he disappeared, and I drew my knees up to my chin, thinking hard. I knew Raph knew at least something of what was on Leo's mind. Don, I would have to admit, had probably been too busy to notice that this was different than Leo's normal reticence, though he knew of Leo's reservations regarding this change. Mikey…I knew Mikey would try to help once he noticed, because he was the kind of person who wanted others to share in his happiness.

I'd keep an eye on him, I decided, him especially, and his brothers as well. New York was a big city that needed people like Leo, Raph, Donnie and Mikey; we'd just have to find the little parts of it that fit them the best.

* * *

**A/N**: Done! Finally! Another semester is upon me, but I am taking it upon myself to manage my time better and stay on top of things, so updates should be more regular. I'm hoping for every 3-4 weeks, possibly less if we get to a part of the story that I already have mostly written. (Like Chapter 6, which is halfway done already.) Anyway, here's this chapter, and I really hope you guys like it; I enjoyed writing it. I'm especially anxious to see what everyone's reactions are to the guys' appearances. What do you think? Do they fit them? Were the descriptions clear enough? You wouldn't believe how much time I spent trying to figure out what I wanted each of them to look like, and hopefully it paid off. (On that note, if anyone has the free time and/or desire, I would love to see some drawings of the guys' new looks, if any of you are so inspired. I'd do it myself, but my talents are definitely not in drawing. :b) As always, comments, concrit, reviews and/or even just blatant love are welcome and appreciated! :D

Also, while I'm thinking about it, Happy New Year to all my lovely readers. May 2009 be a great year for all of you! :D


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: See previous chapters._

Yay, new chapter! And it was updated sooner than the last one! It's progress, my friends, progress. Not much to say about this one, other than it totally got away from me and is crazy long. Oh, and just so you're aware, the first of several OCs will be appearing in this chapter. Before any of you start freaking out, please relax; they will totally not take over this story, not in any way. (One of them you might not ever even see again, now that I think about it.) And they're not even Mary Sues, I swear; if they start veering that way, I'll commit author seppuku, I promise. (By which I mean jabbing myself in the gut with a dictionary. Hardback, not paperback, for maximum effectiveness.) I expect you guys to help keep me in line, though hopefully I'll be able to manage that myself. But yeah, no worries. The OCs are necessary, though, because obviously, meeting new people is what this is largely going to be about for the guys, and this is a story I can't carry off just with the main cast. So just a warning for those of you who aren't all that fond of OCs. Hopefully, though, you'll like them.

Oh! And before I forget; two of the coolest reviewers ever, the-bunnys-echo and KriStALKaLEi, did some awesome art for me. the-bunnys-echo made faces of the guys on the Deviant Art FaceMaker, and KriStALKaLEi drew some fantastic fanart of what the guys look like in their new forms. The link to KriStALKaLEi's fanart is on my profile, and as soon as I figure out how to save it, the-bunnys-echo's contribution will go up there as well. I also went and played with the FaceMaker myself and came up with anime approximations of how my fangirl mind sees the guys' human forms. The codes for those are on the profile as well, and if you just type in Face Maker in a Google search, you'll be able to find that Deviant Art page. If you need some help on how to use it, just let me know (those it's pretty well explained on the site). I'd love to hear what you guys think about the guys' looks! :D

Anyways, that's all I can think of. Things really start moving in this chapter, so get ready, and I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

**Karai  
**

I glanced up from my desk at the sound of footsteps in front of me to see one of my Foot soldiers kneeling a few feet away. I glanced at my watch, surprised to see that it was indeed late enough for the patrol to have returned, and set my work aside. "Report," I ordered, my tone crisp.

The ninja nodded. "_Hai_. We patrolled the city at length, Mistress, and moved in groups in order to attract attention, as you ordered."

He fell silent, and I struggled to control my temper when he didn't continue. My ninja knew that my patience was thin these days, and that needless reticence only served to aggravate me; however, they still retained the habit of hesitating when bearing bad news, as though to put it off for as long as possible would accomplish something. It was foolish and juvenile, and nearly impossible for me to tolerate. I grit my teeth. "And?" I prompted sharply.

A slight fidget. "We found nothing, Mistress Karai. There was no sign of the Turtles anywhere."

I narrowed my eyes. "Where did you search?"

"In the locations you specified, Mistress; we ran through and around all locations where previous encounters and altercations with the Turtles occurred, places you mentioned might be a part of their normal routes. We also patrolled the docks, several of the old warehouses, and near the industrial district. Despite being out in considerable numbers for several hours, the Turtles did not appear."

I bit the inside of my cheek in thought. The Turtles had not been seen in weeks, and their absence was bothering me. I did not know why they were gone, only that they were…and that concerned me. They could be planning something, or they could merely have packed up and left, and I dared not prepare for either contingency until I knew which one was correct. If I pulled my forces off of patrols and various…business ventures, I faced harming my business and profits, as well as risking the loss of contacts that were already considering severing their relationships because I was not my father, because they knew of my numerous failures. I needed my ninja where they were, protecting the building and looking over the different business transactions that had to be dealt with 'after hours'. I could not spare them, not if I was to maintain or increase the strength my business currently had, which I had struggled mightily for.

And yet…I needed to be prepared. Too much attention had already been drawn to me and my father's company, and the Turtles' attacks tended to cause damage on large scales, which was the last thing I needed. They blurred the lines between my two worlds, the world of Oroku Karai, the Shredder, and Ms. Oroku, the New York businesswoman. Those worlds were not meant to collide, were not supposed to overlap; ever before I had been able to keep the two separate, as had my father, but those damned Turtles intruded on every part of my life, dragging decade-old vendettas and the issues of a _shinobi_ where they didn't belong. My prestige, reputation—and at times, my sanity—rested on the fact that I could keep the two worlds separate, because when they merged, everything fell apart.

Uncomfortable questions were being asked about the frequent, weakly-explained damage being done to Oroku headquarters, and I had caught wind of furtive rumors and whispers about the questionable nature of some of my business practices. And to top it off, recouping our losses from when the Ultimate Shredder had attacked still dragged on, even years after the fact…and largely because of the mayor of New York. Though he had always had a quiet, mutually beneficial business relationship with my father, one that carried over to me, he was no longer the asset he used to be. After the Ultimate Shredder had attacked, the mayor had become suspiciously busy, unable to meet with me or answer my calls. When I finally confronted him about it, it had ended badly; he blamed me for the Ultimate Shredder's attack on New York, blamed _me_ for drawing him to the city and all for the damage that had resulted. He had not spoken of it to the public, but only because he was intelligent enough to realize that he would be laughed out of office if he did. I had tried to soothe him, but he was not in the mood to be placated, and to be honest, I had not had the patience to deal with the sniveling little puppet who dared to question me when he should be grateful for our acquaintance.

I had thought my problems solved when the man was removed from his office, his term over, and a new mayor set in his place.

I was wrong.

Foolishly optimistic, I had approached the new mayor, speaking smoothly and subtly about strengthening relationships and campaign support, and the man had shot me down. He had told me he had been warned about me by his predecessor, and had no interest in destroying his career like his predecessor had by allying himself with me. I had best mind my step, he had said, because he would be watching. Unlike his predecessor, he cared about this city, and he would not allow me to 'further sully its name with my actions'.

He had been _warned_ about me. Warned, like I was infected, like I was some sort of delinquent to avoid for the sake of one's reputation.

It had taken all of my self-control not to gut the man right then and there. He was a strong individual, not a spineless little worm like the previous mayor; the new mayor was an idealistic, _moral_ man who was not easily manipulated. I did not appreciate the opposition, especially not when the man's words and mannerisms reminded me of another person who had questioned me, who said I was a blight on 'his' city.

I had left without a word, certain that if I spoke it would only make things worse, and unleashed my fury in the training rooms back at her tower. I went into what I admit now was an unseemly rage, decimating training equipment. My anger went deep, though, and could not be entirely dealt with just through physical exertion. I had proceeded to perform a cleansing of my troops, which had resulted in a good fourth of my ninja locked in the dungeons, ninja I knew or suspected were losing or had lost their loyalty…ninja who, like that damned, cocky mayor, needed to learn that I was not to be trifled with or underestimated.

Business had slowly gotten weaker since then. Avenues that had previously been open were suddenly closed to me and my company, or were riddled with such obstacles as to discourage me. Business partners that had been allied with my father's company for years were suddenly reluctant to undertake new ventures with us, or begged off, claiming increased restrictions or bad fiscal terms.

I had recognized the weak excuses and sudden roadblocks for what they were: attacks on me by the mayor, through those loyal to him.

The man was a fool. Little deterrents like that would not cripple me; there were many of my associates that the mayor could not get to, those who were not as…married to the laws and restrictions of the _polite_ business world. The man was an amateur, new to the world of politics and business and deceit. He understood that he could pressure me, but he couldn't grasp that there were ways to retaliate. I showed him that, quickly, making donations to various charities and putting in appearances at fundraisers and charity events, building back up the reputation he thought he could quietly destroy. It worked fairly well, but it was yet another drain on my already struggling finances. I managed to keep things afloat, to prevent additional losses, but I just could not seem to regain the prosperity I used to have.

And to top it off, other businesses were beginning to sniff around, testing my borders and asking innocent-seeming questions about the state of my business. One business from Japan, even, had made clear their interest in purchasing my company, and were in fact coming soon to begin negotiation talks. The owner's son was coming, an irony I didn't miss; the pride of the second generation sent to talk to the _failing_ second generation.

And I had not deterred them, had not told them that my father's business was not for sale, because in reality…I was hardly keeping it afloat.

It was infuriating. My father had never had such difficulties, never had problems like I did in running his business empire, and yet there I was, constantly failing. Never had my father attracted such negative attention. Never had he been under any suspicion. Only I. Only I failed in such noticeable ways. Shame and anger constantly fought for precedence among my emotions.

There were too many enemies, suddenly; the mayor, and his various supporters; my own dubious business allies, who were getting too bold for my liking, creeping in at the edges of venues that had always been mine or my father's; and now the missing Turtles, who were the worst because they could and did endeavor to destroy me in any way, at any time. The others I could handle, with threats of declined business (for the legitimate allies) and hints to the police (for the less-than-legitimate allies), but the Turtles…it was so difficult to find and truly hurt them. Even their human friends were rather beyond my reach, protected by the police as well as the Turtles themselves.

The Turtles.

I shook myself, pulling my thoughts back to order. My mind seemed as scattered and uncontrolled as my business these days, and the added problem was most unwelcome.

"What about the residences of their human allies?" I asked the ninja in front of me, startling him with the sudden question. "Casey Jones and the former April O'Neil? Their apartment is still monitored, correct? Have the Turtles been seen there?"

The ninja collected himself and shook his head. "No, Mistress. We have kept a close watch on them, but the Turtles have not appeared at the apartment. There is little change to either of their habits, though they both left the city last month and returned after two weeks. The O'Neil—I mean, the Jones woman seems to be intending to move; we have seen her traveling around the city, looking at new apartments."

I frowned. That they had both left New York would ordinarily be cause for suspicion, an excuse to get them out of the city so that they would not get caught in the crossfire of an attack…except that they had both returned, and still nothing had happened. Combined with the O'Neil woman searching for a new apartment…it could mean anything, or nothing. I dared not hope that it meant the woman was deciding to cut ties with the Turtles; if she had not done so in all the years that we knew they had had contact, it was unlikely she would do so now. Most likely, the reason for the search was that she and Jones planned to move to a new apartment together. My lip curled. For all that they were allies of the Turtles (who were, I would admit, more than passably crafty strategists) and the woman was as intelligent as Chaplin, this was an extremely foolish move. While finding a new apartment would remove them from my observation, such a maneuver would only work if I did not know what they were planning. With Mrs. Jones being as obvious as she was, it would be no problem at all to find their new residence.

Whatever they were doing, it would require close consideration. I waved my ninja away, dismissing him as I reached for my work once more. "Very well. Keep close tabs on them, and continue the patrols three times a week. Decrease the search force by a fourth, and make certain that you rotate the schedule so that everyone is participating. As for the extras that are being taken off of the search patrols, send them into the sewers; we must increase the pressure on our enemies, and to do so we must eliminate every safe haven. Keep records of everywhere you travel, above and below ground. That is all."

The ninja nodded sharply and departed.

I frowned as I thought about his words, unable to pick back up on my reports. This had been the second week we had run nightly patrols, and yet my forces had seen neither hide nor hair of the Turtles. Those blasted creatures usually seemed to sense whenever we were out in any strength and always arrived to ruin any undertaking, and yet now, they were nowhere to be found. There were no reports of interference, no casualties, no misshapen silhouettes against the nighttime sky. While it should be serving to make me happy, instead it was driving me to distraction. I dared not even plan anything, half-expecting that this was only the calm before the storm, as though they were perhaps marshalling their strength for a large assault. True, it was not their normal style, but similar (and stranger) things had happened.

Why were my enemies absent? There could be multiple reasons for it, and yet none rang true when I thought about them.

They could not have left. Leonardo's 'honor' wouldn't allow him to leave me be, though it would be better for him and his disgusting family if he did.

While they could be planning something, I could not sense anything on the horizon, and I was hesitant to make any preparations when I did not know what to expect.

As for death, I dared not get my hopes up. If I could not kill them, with all my efforts, no one else could. They were like cockroaches; nearly impossible to kill.

A thought suddenly struck me, and I smiled.

All of them, except for the rat…he was _not_ impossible to kill. After all, I had proven that, as my father had proved it. Had I not struck him down those years ago in his own home, forcing Leonardo's brothers to flee out of fear for his life? That was proof enough of the rat's growing frailty. While he may have been a fierce warrior and a worthy opponent at one point, time had worked its ways upon him, and he was weak and failing now.

If the Turtles had been willing to abandon their home, even leaving it in my possession when I found their hovel and attacked them, all for the sake of their father…would they not abandon the city in the same fashion, for the same reason?

It made sense. It would explain the Jones' apparent vacation, if the sentimental fools were visiting the ailing freak. It would explain the Turtles' absence, as well as the lack of attacks, and I knew the rat was far from young, far from in his prime. Perhaps the rat's health had taken a turn for the worse, and recognizing the liability he represented, they took him and fled, seeking a safe haven while he recovered.

I smiled, glad that I had ordered my ninja to make plans for searching the sewers as well. While I knew the Turtles would not dare return to their old home, they may have mistakenly thought that burrowing deeper into the bowels of the city would provide them some protection.

They were very wrong. My arm was long, and there was nowhere they could go that I would not find them. While it was true that there were many dark places in this city that they could hide, I could and would do much to shorten that list. I would flush them out and destroy their crippled father. It had taken less than that in the past to enrage Raphael to the point of attack, and enraged warriors were easily defeated.

I would find them and end this loathsome waiting…and then I would end them as well. I had enough enemies in _my_ world to worry about dealing with cast-offs from the world of freaks as well. I would teach the Turtles that the penalty was high for daring to trespass into the parts of my world that was not meant to include them, and that there were high prices to pay for not staying in the shadows where they belonged.

* * *

**Michelangelo  
**

Sunlight. Fresh air. Grass between my toes. (All ten of them!)

I don't know how humans can take these things for granted, because I swear, I _never_ will.

Just walking around the farm in the middle of the day was so awesome. Being able to explore, being able to hang out around the farm, and not having to worry about being seen…it was the best thing ever. I almost didn't want to go back to New York.

_Almost_. Except that I knew that good ol' NYC would be just as cool.

I think everyone else was enjoying it too. Casey and April had left to head back to New York for work while we spent the week training and undergoing more torture-by-paperwork, but they would be back this weekend to pick us up. We were heading back to New York to spend a week there looking for jobs and apartments, then we'd come back and get all our stuff and leave the farmhouse for good. Once we finished all the preparations, Don and April were firmly rooted in Nerd Land, talking with Leatherhead and the Utrom scientists (for the last time before they left to head back to space) about crap none of the rest of us could really understand in words that had way too many syllables. Raph and Casey worked around the farm and tore around on the four-wheeler they'd dug out of the barn and fixed up. The poor woodland creatures were terrified.

And Leo was practicing. Surprise, surprise. But at least he was doing it outside.

And me? I was just glad to be outside doing anything. I'd wandered outside after grabbing some lunch and noticed Leo was MIA, so I grabbed my sketchbook and headed out to hunt him down. Ever since we got all humanized, I'd been drawing like crazy whenever I could, taking advantage of the new landscapes. Mainly I wanted some sketches of all of us as humans so I could maybe put together some before-and-after collections. And since I'd already gotten Don, hunched over Utrom technology with that look on his face that means he's miles away inventing things that should be impossible, and Raph was currently tearing around the countryside, Leo was the only one stationary enough.

"Mikey!"

I turned around to see April walking out of the house blinking and stretching out her back with a bunch of cracks and pops that sounded like Raph's cereal. I couldn't help shuddering; I know was new to the whole 'I have a spine that can be bent both ways' thing, but I still thought those were not good noises for a spine to be making. "Hey, April! How fare the other citizens of Planet Geektopia?"

She grinned, swatting at me for the comment. "It's great. The information and the technology that the Utroms have is just incredible, and looking at the similarities and differences between your turtle and human forms is absolutely fascinating."

I shrugged. "If you say so. So are you taking a break? Reached your nerd quota for the morning?"

"Yeah. They're getting into some of the biology specifics that aren't really my strength. Plus I've been cooped up in there for hours; I could do with some sunlight." April gestured at my hand. "Who are you drawing today?"

Man, was I getting easy to predict or what? "I'm gonna go spy on Leo," I said, grinning. "You wanna come with?"

"Sounds perfect. I need to work the kinks out." Glancing down at my bare feet, she laughed and sat down to wrestle her own shoes off. "I think I'll try it your way, too. Are you still on strike from footwear?" she teased.

I made a face. "I'm not on strike, it's just…shoes are all sorts of weird-feeling. Besides, the farm is pretty much the perfect kind of place to go barefoot, next to a beach." I bowed and offered April a hand. "Milady?"

She chuckled and took my hand, and once I hauled her to her feet, we took off across Casey's farm. I set a beeline for the woods, because that had been Leo's practice place lately; even though we didn't have to skulk around and stay out of sight, he still had the tendency to find some secluded spot with lots of hiding spots. Old habits die hard, I guess. Considering the fact that it gave me places to sit without him knowing I was there, I wasn't going to complain.

It was so nice to finally be walking normally again. Those first few days, I'd felt like I was walking around in someone else's body; my legs were too long, my feet weren't right…I looked like I was stone-drunk, stumbling around all the time. But now, I felt like I fit in my new body, now that things were working right and I was used to my longer limbs and being taller. I took a deep breath in and sighed. April glanced over at me.

"Something wrong?"

I shook my head. "Something's right. This is just so amazing, y'know? Whenever I used to think about what I'd want to do if I could be human, it'd be things like goin' out on the town or meeting someone; I never thought about how awesome the little things like this could be too," I explained, waving hand around us and wiggling my toes in the grass.

April leaned over and pecked me on the cheek, smiling. "You're incredible, Mikey."

"What for? I mean, other than the obvious?"

"Because you appreciate things so much. The little things so often get overlooked. I take these things for granted, and I don't even realize it."

I shrugged, grinning. "S'what I'm here for, to improve the quality of life and make people appreciate what they have."

April laughed and ruffled my hair. "You're so selfless, Mikey," she joked, shaking her head. "You're an inspiration to us all."

I sighed and placed a hand to my chest melodramatically. "It's a trying job, m'dear, but someone has to do it." An old, gnarled tree caught my attention and I glanced around, then gestured for April to be quiet. "We're entering the danger zone."

"This is where Leo practices?" April whispered back, glancing around.

I pointed ahead of us. "In there." I led the way, being as sneaky as possible. Leo was in the same little clearing he'd been practicing in since we got used to walking on our own (new) two feet.

He was working through a _kata_, an advanced one, with his swords. He'd moved on from the last time I saw him, when he was taking everything really slow and making sure he nailed the timing and placement perfectly, and now he was back to his regular speed. Actually, watching him for a minute, I almost thought he was going a little faster as a human than he had as a turtle. I hadn't watched Leo do a lot of _kata_, since it wasn't exactly the most thrilling thing to watch, but I was pretty sure he was moving a little faster compared to the last time I saw him.

April shifted a little closer to me. "He looks like he's dancing," she whispered.

"Huh?"

"Leo. It's slightly different from watching him as a turtle," she explained, tilting her head to the side. "Before, Leo's movements were all power and precision. They still are, but now it's more…more graceful. He looks almost like he's dancing when he trains like this. All of you…I'd gotten used to seeing you guys and your skills and the things you could do—as turtles. You're incredible. But now…" She shook her head, watching Leo as he paused to bow, then moved into another set. "Seeing the things you can do, putting those skills into human bodies…it's unbelievable. You guys move in ways that I didn't know humans could. I mean, I've seen Karai fight, but you four are at a different level. You and Don move like you're utterly comfortable in your skin, like you have complete control over every cell in your bodies. And Leo and Raph…"

I nodded, understanding what she was trying to say; I'd been watching my brothers a lot, after all. "They move like predators."

April hesitated, then nodded thoughtfully. "Yes. Before there was just power, but now, in more—well, more streamlined forms, there's a lot of grace in your movements too."

"They're like wolves and tigers," I said, flipping through my sketchbook. "That's how I see 'em." I opened the book to a pair of sketches I'd done just a few days after our "rehabilitation" training with Sensei. It was really cool to see how Raph and Leo moved as humans (Donnie wouldn't step away from the Utroms' shiny devices long enough for me to draw him moving, so I wasn't sure for him, and I couldn't exactly draw myself), and I'd just started sketching animals beside them. Before long, I'd finished the two sketches I showed April: Leo, frozen in a _kata_ with his swords held parallel in front of him, eyes narrow, and a wolf in the background, one paw raised and its teeth bared in a mimicry of Leo's pose; and Raph, stalking forward straight at the viewer with his _sai_ in his hands, a sharp grin on his face, with a tiger right beside him, crouched low and fangs glistening. I was pretty proud of it; it looked wicked cool.

"That's wonderful, Mikey," April breathed. "It looks so lifelike. Are you going to draw for a living?"

I blinked, looking at her. "You mean back home in New York?" I scratched my head and shrugged. "I dunno. I haven't really thought about it."

April smiled brightly, grabbing my arm. "You could draw comics! Create your own books! You're so creative, Mikey; it'd be perfect for you."

"That _would_ be pretty awesome," I agreed, nodding faster as I thought about it. Writing and illustrating my own comic book series? Coolest thing _ever_.

"You should definitely think about it." April glanced back up at Leo, then squeezed my arm. "I'm gonna head back. Good luck with your drawing, and thanks for the walk."

"Right back atcha." I listened as April tried to sneak off, wincing slightly as she stepped on a twig and I heard her mutter something under her breath. I wasn't sure if Leo knew I was still there or not; if he did, he didn't seem too concerned about it, still pacing through his _kata_. He'd been pretty quiet the past few days, and I wanted to talk to him, but I still didn't know exactly how to bring it up. I figured I'd give it a few more days, then try and talk to him about it; if it was still just the newness and the weirdness of everything getting to him, it'd be better to just give him a little time. If he wasn't over it by the time we headed back to New York to look at apartments and apply for jobs, I'd talk to him.

For now, though, he seemed alright, and I wanted to get some drawing done while I could. Kicking a couple twigs out of the way, I cleared a little spot for myself and sat down, flipping my sketchbook open to a clean page and starting the preliminary lines of Leo's torso.

I'd only just gotten the outline of Leo done, in a pose I knew he'd be repeating a lot in the _kata_ he was working on, when I heard footsteps. Glancing up, I saw Raph, Don and Master Splinter coming towards us, and looked back at Leo with a sigh. There went another sketch. Leo paced through the last few stages of the _kata_, stopped, and bowed, then turned to face us, sheathing his swords. He frowned slightly. "Is something wrong?"

Don shook his head and waved us all down to sit on the ground, setting down the papers he was carrying and taking his laptop from Raph. "Everything's fine, it's just that we have something rather important to discuss," Donnie said abruptly.

"Which bar we're gonna hit first?" I asked with a grin, inching away from Sensei as I said it.

Don sighed at me while Leo gave me a Look (number four: _"I can't believe you actually said something so stupid while we're discussing something serious, I'll be speaking to you later about appropriate mindsets and comments during War Councils"_). It was another familiar one; I'd lost count of how many times I'd gotten that particular Look.

"No, Mikey, I said something 'important', not trivial," Donnie replied patiently. "We have to decide what our names are going to be."

We were all pretty quiet after that, and when I looked at Raph and Leo, I saw that I wasn't the only one that was confused. I raised my hand slowly. "Um, what?"

"Don, I dunno if you noticed, what with bein' so busy an' all, but we've already _got_ names," Raph said wryly, still watching Donnie like he thought he was gonna go nuts.

"No, really? I must have missed that," Don retorted. He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I meant what names we're going to go by once we get back to New York."

Leo frowned. "Why can't we just go by our regular names?"

Don looked up and frowned back, addressing all of us. "Think about it, Leo. We have enemies in New York, enemies who know our names and know that many things are possible. I don't mean to say that they know the Utroms can do what they did, but Karai and Bishop both know that human appearances can be deceiving. Karai lived with Saki for years, seeing everyday just how human he looked and yet knowing he was an alien. Bishop knows intimately that with the help of science, a person is not necessarily restricted to one body. I find it hard to believe that with our luck, one or both of them wouldn't stumble across a mention of our names and proceed to track us down. Even as unrecognizable as we are in appearance, they would know our voices. I'm not saying that we need to change both of our names, because Mikey's and mine are extremely common, at least in the diminutive, and Leo and Raph…it's New York. Even your names aren't that uncommon there." He sighed and fiddled with a pen, glancing carefully at Master Splinter. "Combined with the name Hamato, however…"

"It is a rather uncommon surname in any state, and easily recognizable by the enemies we have in this one," Master Splinter admitted, a thoughtful frown creasing his face. "You have an excellent point, Donatello; the safety you gain with the relative anonymity of your appearances will be voided by maintaining your current names."

Leo looked confused. "Master Splinter, I don't understand…what do you mean by 'relative anonymity'? Are our appearances unusual for humans?"

Master Splinter blinked at Leo, then smiled slightly. "I meant nothing by it, my son; I was merely thinking out loud. As I said, Donatello has an undeniable basis for his concerns. It would be wise for us to devise another surname for you to bear."

"I don't want to," I blurted out without thinking. I cringed a little when everyone turned to look at me, but I didn't take it back. I _didn't_ want to choose a different name. I was proud of who I was, proud that we had Master Splinter's name, Master Yoshi's name. I didn't want to change that just because it might catch Karai or Bishop's attention. It felt too much like running away, and I didn't like the fact that they were intruding into our new life already. We were already changing our names to the Western version, with our family name last, and now we were changing our family name too? Too much had changed as it was.

"Michelangelo…" Master Splinter peered at me questioningly. "Is something the matter?"

"I don't want to change our name," I muttered, shrugging and looking down at my hands. "It's _our_ name. Changing it is like—like we're ashamed or something. And I'm not; I'm proud to have your name, Sensei. I don't wanna change it."

Master Splinter blinked several times, then smiled warmly at me, setting a hand on top of my head. "My son, I understand what you are trying to say, but in this case, a name is merely a name; it is not the sum and whole of your identity. Giving society a different name to call you makes you no less Hamato Michelangelo than becoming a human makes you any less my son. You will always be a Hamato, even if you assume a different name. Nothing can change that. If you like, we can simply make a small adjustment to the name, so that the root or core is still the same. Something like…" Sensei hesitated and leaned back, gripping his chin and humming softly as he thought. "Hamand, perhaps. Something along those lines."

Don cocked his head to the side and nodded slowly. "That's actually a really good idea, Sensei. Now that I think about it, an entirely different name _would_ probably cause some problems; we wouldn't be used to it, and it'd be kind of suspicious if we kept messing up our own last names when we introduced ourselves to people. Hamand…I kind of like that. It is very similar, and it'd be much easier to remember."

I tested the name out in my head. Michelangelo Hamand…I liked it. It still sounded mostly like Hamato, but it was different enough that no one would recognize it. "Sounds good to me. Way to go, Sensei!"

Leo nodded slowly. "That will be a lot easier to remember than something completely different. It's a good choice."

Raph just shrugged. "I ain't got a problem with it. Just make sure there aren't a ton of other Hamands in New York that are gonna be comin' around tryin' to figure out if we're long-lost relatives or anythin'."

Donnie opened his laptop and typed a couple things in, tapping the casing while he waited. A minute later he smiled and shook his head. "Nope. We'll be the only ones in the city. There's one in Chatham, though, but that's it for the state. As for the rest of the country…" He typed in another search. "Ah. There are nearly two hundred Hamands throughout the country, so it's an unusual name, but not one that's never been heard before. That was an excellent choice, Sensei."

Master Splinter smiled. "I am glad you all approve, though I had merely offered it as an example."

"Alright, guys." Donnie grabbed some familiar-looking stacks of paper fixed to clipboards and shoved them towards us. "Just get your names written in on each of these forms, and we'll be all done with the paperwork. I'm going to go tell Mortu what we decided on so that we can get the last of this taken care of and wrapped up."

We all groaned but grabbed a pen and started plowing through the last of the demon paperwork. I looked at my new name and signature on the first form, still trying it out. By the fifth form, though, I was almost used to writing it, and by the last one, it almost looked familiar.

If I couldn't be Hamato Michelangelo, I was pretty sure I was okay with being Michelangelo Hamand.

* * *

The next day definitely wasn't as cool as the previous ones had been, because it was the day that Master Splinter was leaving.

We'd all gathered in front of the farmhouse to see Master Splinter off; the Daimyo was coming to get him, and we wanted to have as much time with him as we could. April and Casey had said their goodbyes last week, and wanted to give us today just for the five of us. They'd be showing up after Sensei left to take us back to the city.

There were plenty of tears, and I won't try and say I wasn't helping produce a lot of 'em. I mean, it was _Sensei_ leaving…our father. Yeah, he was basically just doing the Hamato family equivalent of retiring to Florida, and yeah, he was still 'close' enough to visit, but…this was different. Separation.

Growing up.

It kind of sucked about as much as I'd always expected.

We were all dealing with it in our different ways. I know I was leaking a bit, and Donnie looked a little misty-eyed too. And Raph had that particular brand of his Angry Face™ on, the one that said that he didn't like what was happening, and on a deeper level than he was willing to share with anyone…it was his weird way of showing that he was sad or upset, in a tear-less and appropriately manly way.

And Leo…Leo had this kinda…quietly desperate look on his face, like there was a whole truckload of somethings that he needed to ask Sensei about, but couldn't talk about in front of us. The little gut voice that sometimes speaks up in the back of my mind wondered if it was about whatever Sensei had given Leo for his last lesson, but that just confused me even more. Leo was the perfect student; there wasn't a single lesson Sensei had given us that he hadn't learned to the letter. So what could he be having so much trouble with?

I really wanted to ask what it was that Sensei had given him for his last lesson, but for some reason, it seemed like for each of us it was way too personal to ask or talk about. I just couldn't figure out why. I mean, yeah, it automatically seemed all sacred, like when Luke was training with Yoda, since Sensei had called us all in separately. But still, we'd always learned together in the past…it seemed weird for that to change now. I guess I shouldn't've been surprised, since everything else was changing, it's just…it felt like at least _some_ things should have been staying the same, y'know?

But it didn't seem like anything was…other than the fact that we were all still together.

Sensei had lined us all up and was facing us, staring at us quietly, then smiled.

"My last words for now are these, my sons; this is not a thing to mourn," he said calmly, glancing at me softly as I sniffed, trying not to leak anymore. "This is merely another stage in life. You are all adults now…indeed, you have been for some time, but the eyes of a father, though quick to see many things, are often the slowest to see independence and growth. It is time for you to venture out on your own, without me to guide or advise you. You must live and learn on your own…but never forget this," he said suddenly, his voice fierce. "Never forget that you are a family. You are brothers, and more importantly, you are friends. Even if I am not around, you will always have each other to lean on. Do not forget your past, because it has made you who you are today, the—the grown men I see in front of me. Take pride in who you are, and where you have come from. And never forget that you are family."

After that there wasn't really anything else to do except a group hug. We'd all kinda said our personal goodbyes when Sensei had given us our last lessons, so we were all just left with trying to spend as much time as possible with Master Splinter while we could. Even after we pulled back from the hug we just kind of stayed clustered around him, touching him occasionally.

"You'll call as soon as you get there, right?" Don asked suddenly. "I've upgraded the Shell Cells, and it should be able to send and receive international calls without too much difficulty; I've boosted the signal as much as I can."

Master Splinter sighed and smiled a little. "Yes, I will contact you once I have made it to the Ancient One's home and gotten settled. I will also be writing you frequently, though I know the mail service will take quite some time to reach you."

"Just take it easy, alright, Sensei?" Raph asked, squeezing Sensei's shoulder gently. "You've earned a bit of a vacation. Go get in tune with yourself or somethin'."

"Say hello to Master Yoshi and Tang Shen for us, if you don't mind," Leo added quietly. "Take care of yourself."

I gave a watery grin and tried not to get any soggier. "Stay outta trouble, Sensei; I know you'll probably be right out there getting crazy with the locals, but keep it reasonable. I'll keep these guys outta trouble."

Raph snorted and whapped me on the back of the head lightly. "Yeah, right. That'll be the day. More like—"

A weird humming started up just then, making all the little hairs on my arms stand up (which felt _so_ weird), and the familiar watery portal rose up in front of us. A large figure stepped through, all flowing robes and big mask and everything.

The Daimyo.

"Ah, good day, my friend," he said brightly, bowing slightly to Splinter and then us. He stepped slightly to the side, letting two of his guards step out of the portal as well. "How are you doing? Are you ready to depart?"

We all bowed back, and Master Splinter moved forward to grip the Daimyo's hand in welcome. "Good day to you as well, Daimyo. I am prepared; I am just saying my last goodbyes to my sons."

The Daimyo turned to look at us, nodding. "Indeed. You told me of their transformation, but I could scarcely believe it myself. And yet here they are. Your sons make very fine-looking humans, my friend."

Master Splinter smiled at all of us. "They do indeed." He stepped forward to give each of us a last hug and a nuzzle, then moved back. "Stay out of trouble, my sons, as much as you ever can. And enjoy your new lives; I expect to hear great stories from you regarding your first months in the city."

The Daimyo's guards picked up Sensei's stuff for him and disappeared back into the portal. Sensei turned to wave at us and followed after them, vanishing a second later. The Daimyo was the last to leave, bowing to us again.

"I will look after your father as much as I am able, warriors," he said solemnly. "And if ever you need wish to see him and need assistance in travel, do not hesitate to ask."

Leo bowed back. "We truly appreciate that, honored Daimyo, and we thank you for your aid and friendship. Give your son our regards."

"I will. Good luck, warriors."

And just like that, he was gone too, the portal disappearing back into the ground, and that was it.

Sensei was gone.

"Now what?" I cringed as soon as I said it, realizing what a dumb question it was…but still, what were we going to do? We all kinda turned to look at Leo; gut reaction, because if Sensei isn't around, Leo's who we turn to for decisions.

"Now…now we head back to New York and start pulling things together," Leo said finally. "Thanks to April, we know of some apartments that are available and decently priced. We narrowed it down to what, four options? We might as well go back now and check those out, find the ones we like, and get the agreements taken care of. Then we can drop our things off there and start looking for jobs."

Don nodded. "I can grab the list I've put together of all the places that are hiring, as well as directions to those businesses and the apartments."

"So, back to New York?" I clarified. "Right now?"

Leo glanced at the spot where the portal had been, and I thought I saw his shoulders lift and fall in a sigh before they straightened again. He looked back at us and nodded firmly.

"Now's as good a time as any. Let's go."

* * *

**Leonardo  
**

I don't think I've ever realized just how many people there really are in New York.

(It probably has something to do with the fact that not many people are out at night on the roofs or in the sewers.)

There are a lot of people in New York City. A lot. And I could have sworn that they were all on the same sidewalks as us as soon as we got out of April and Casey's cars.

I couldn't help hesitating before climbing out of the backseat, because no matter how many times I told myself that we looked normal now, it couldn't erase the ingrained instincts of twenty years screaming at me not to go topside, to go anywhere during the day, and especially not among people. I was three for three, and it was surreal. All four of us just kind of stood there, lost, as New York's inhabitants just passed us by, like we weren't anything special.

Which, we finally realized, we weren't. We were just like everyone else. It was an extremely odd first few minutes.

"C'mon, guys, you ain't gonna get anything done just standin' there," Casey pointed out, grinning at us and our bewildered expressions. "Are you doin' this or what?"

"Give us a break, Case," Raph retorted. "You've been doin' this all your life with only a few people screamin' at the sight of you; we haven't."

"We've got a lot to get done today, though," Don agreed. He rifled through his papers and handed a small stack to me. "Those are some places for you and Mikey to check on both for apartments and jobs. There are two apartments for each pair of us, and if we don't really like either of the two we have, we can meet up and switch. I talked to the landlords for all the places and they're gonna meet us at the apartments to let us in and show us around. Whichever place you go to first, try and keep it as short as possible while still getting a good feel of the place, so that you don't keep whoever's waiting at the other apartment waiting for too long."

"And remember that we're going shopping tomorrow," April pointed out. "I've got a couple shops in mind with good selections and some sales going on. Small shops," she added, glancing at me; I figured I hadn't hidden my distaste at the thought of the mall as well as I'd thought. "Not as busy as the mall. Although we do still need to get you guys haircuts…"

I rolled my eyes at the fringe constantly hanging at the edge of my vision. "Yes, please."

Mikey made a face and seemed to deflate a little. "Aw, man…can't we go to the mall?"

"You can go if you want," I said quickly. This was an instance that I didn't mind letting my brothers out of my sight if it meant I didn't have to go to the mall. I could hardly stand being around so many people out in the open without flinching; there was no way I was going to sign up for cramming into an enclosed space with several hundred people voluntarily. Not if I had other options. And besides, I highly doubted that any of our enemies went to the mall, and even if they did, my brothers would hardly be recognizable. This was me listening to Master Splinter and letting them have some space. This was not me making excuses because the thought of the mall made me itch.

"Dude, you have to come too," Mikey complained. "How are we going to introduce you to modern society if you don't experience the wonder that is the mall? Especially the food court! You can't miss out on the food court, bro."

"I'm pretty sure I'll survive without it, Mikey," I retorted. "I've lasted this long, after all."

"But—"

Raph whacked Mikey across the back of the head. "Leave 'im alone, chucklehead. Even if you managed to drag him there, he'd spend the whole time waitin' to attack the next person who bumped into him. And I can't say I blame 'im; from what I hear, the people at malls are frickin' crazy."

"It'd be an interesting social experiment, though," Don mused, tapping his chin with the rolled papers he held. "To see if we fit in, or if we attracted undue attention."

April snorted slightly. "I don't think you guys could go anywhere without attracting attention."

I frowned. "What do you mean?" Were we that unusual-looking? Sensei had said something similar back at the farm, but I honestly couldn't tell if we looked all that different from the people passing us by. If we were, we needed to be careful; we were human in an attempt to _not_ attract a lot of attention any more.

She tried to smother a smile. "Nothing."

Mikey sidled up to me and threw an arm around my shoulders. "She means we're hot," he said confidentially. "For example…" He dragged me forward suddenly, moving to stand beside a blonde young woman who was waiting for a cab a few feet away from us. "Excuse me, miss, I'm conducting a survey," he said smoothly. "In your personal opinion, are we attractive?" He tugged me closer and grinned, waving his hand back to gesture at Raph and Don as well.

The woman blinked at the four of us, then looked Mikey and me both up and down and blushed for some reason. "I'd certainly say so," she murmured, looked at us sidelong…while the man standing a couple feet away—presumably her significant other—suddenly stepped forward and glared at us murderously. Mikey grinned cheekily at him and bowed slightly to the young woman. "Thanks for your help!"

I could feel that annoying heat suffusing my face again as Mikey turned us and walked back to the others. "I can't believe you just did that," I gritted out.

Mikey snorted. "Are you _really_ that surprised?" he asked, looking at me with his eyebrows raised. "Besides, I told you, didn't I?" he continued, nodding knowingly. "Karma. Ridiculous good looks in return for excessive community service. I'm right, right?" he asked, glancing at April.

April looked like she was about to choke on a laugh, but swallowed it down and answered. "I hate to say anything that might inflate Mikey's ego any farther—"

"Then please don't," Raph grumbled. "We get enough gloating as it is."

"Hey, just because I'm the—"

"But he's right," she continued loudly, drowning out Mikey's familiar 'Battle Nexus' gloat and thankfully preventing yet another—and extremely public—bout of sibling brawling. "You guys are definitely good-looking."

I blinked and glanced at Raph. He looked down at himself, then back up at me and shrugged. At least I wasn't the only one who hadn't noticed. Don just looked thoughtful.

"Hey, I'm standin' right here," Casey complained. "Husband at two o'clock, babe."

"Oh, please; you can't honestly be a grown man and still be that insecure." She glanced at us and shrugged. "Sorry, but that's just how it is. Leo, in your case, it'll be especially hard to escape people's notice."

I tried not to recoil very far at the thought, though it was only the fact that Mikey's arm was still around my shoulders that prevented me from stepping back. "What? Why?"

April smiled apologetically. "Your eyes."

"They _are_ a rather unusual color," Don agreed, leaning closer to peer at me. "Especially since they seem to have a tendency to change color."

I frowned. "They _what_?"

"Change color. It's not all that unusual; some people's eyes will shift hues occasionally in reaction to emotions, or as a result of changes in light," he explained, finally backing off a little. "Right now, for example, yours are slightly darker than usual, because there's more blue in them." He glanced at my fisted hands and rigid posture and quirked a smile. "Probably because you're annoyed."

"So Leo's got mood-ring eyes? Cool!" Mikey crowed. "I still beat you out for awesomest hair color, though."

"We'll all match you in about fifty years," Raph replied. "When we're old and we _all_ have white hair."

"Blonde!" Mikey exclaimed. "It's blonde! White-blonde, granted, but still blonde!"

I groaned. "We're not having this conversation again," I snapped, more heatedly than I intended. The last thing I needed to hear was that I was doomed to attract people's attention. I had expected Mikey to, given how light his hair was and given that it was Mikey, but he knew how to deal with attention. I didn't, and didn't want to learn, either. I pushed his arm off of my shoulders and glanced at Raph and Don. "Let's get started before it gets any later. I imagine this will probably take a while, so how about we plan on just meeting up for dinner rather than trying to rush things?"

"Works for me," Don said. "How about that Italian restaurant over on Fourteenth? Um, Luido's, I think it is?"

"That's fine," I agreed. I glanced at April and Casey. "You guys are welcome to join us if you want to. I know you've probably got other things to take care of, though, given how much of your time we've taken up lately."

April waved my words away. "We'd love to. Neither of us has anything too pressing to deal with, and Italian sounds great tonight. I just want to go get Klunk settled and open the shop for a few hours. Besides, I want to hear how your first day in the big city goes."

"Great. Alright, then, we'll see you guys later. Be careful."

Raph rolled his eyes at me. "Don't worry, we won't go play in traffic or pick fights or anythin', promise. You just worry about keepin' Mikey from annoyin' the general public."

"Will do," I said, ignoring Mikey's insulted protests as I gripped the back of his shirt and dragged him off.

"You are such a buzz-kill, Leo," Mikey commented idly, folding his arms behind his head as he casually maneuvered his way through the crowds on the sidewalk. "By the way, where are we heading first?"

I glanced at the first apartment building's address, flinching as yet another person bumped into me as they went past. What _was_ it with humans and their tendency to disregard personal space? Did they honestly _have_ to make contact with every single person between them and their destination? "It's just a couple blocks away from here. Two bedroom, one bath apartment, all the regular amenities. It's nice, from the looks of things," I added, showing him the picture that came with the realty advertisement.

Mikey glanced over at the paper, and his face lit up. "It looks awesome," he said gleefully. "This is awesome, y'know? Apartment shopping? Never thought I'd be doing this."

"That makes two of us."

"I think Don made a good decision with the rooming situation," Mikey added abruptly. "This way, we'll have at least one person in each apartment who knows something about being social and how to get along with the city. And by that I mean me and Raph…although Raphie tends to be a little too scary to really be social. He at least knows the city, though. If I have to, I can coach both you _and_ Donnie in how to play nice and attract ladies."

I couldn't help rolling my eyes. "I'm sure we're both eternally grateful."

"I know," he replied cheerfully, ignoring my sarcasm. "Oh, and we have to lay down some roommate rules right now, bro. And I'm officially establishing a blanket rule that all rules have to be agreed to, unless they're seriously ridiculous."

That made me more than a little uneasy, but I nodded anyway. "Okay…"

"Alright. Rule number one, there _will_ be junk food in our apartment." He leveled a serious look at me. "This is a necessity. I will seriously die if I have to live on the rabbit food you like eating."

"It's hardly "rabbit food"," I retorted. "I eat meat, you know; it's not like I'm a vegetarian."

"Yeah, but you normally only eat the healthy stuff. A Twinkie now and then never killed anyone, bro."

I sighed. "Fine. Junk food. Why not. Rule number two: there _will_ be something resembling tidiness in our apartment. If our place starts looking like your room in the Lair, I'll start smothering you with everything you leave lying around."

Mikey huffed. "Geez, a guy enjoys a room that's comfortable and broken in a bit, and what happens? All he gets is crap." He glanced at me, his brow furrowing slightly. "Your room doesn't even look like you live in it, Leo."

"I like to keep my space clean," I said defensively.

"And that's fine," Mikey assured me quickly. "I just…it doesn't look like you're even there, bro. It's not yours. You need to put some personality into it." He bumped me with his shoulder gently. "I promise I won't tell Sensei if you don't make your bed every day, or if you get yourself some books that _aren't_ about Ninjutsu or war tactics," he said, his tone light but serious. "But yeah, clean apartment, no underwear lying all over the place. No problem. Let's see…next rule…oo! Rule number three: you have to come out and be sociable and do something fun with me _at least_ twice a month. Absolute minimum."

I faltered in my stride, stumbling a bit before reestablishing my pace. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me." Mikey smiled smugly. "And remember the blanket rule: only ridiculous rules can be vetoed. And considering that I'm giving you the remaining twenty-eight days of the month to be as boring and reclusive as you want, there's no way you can claim this is unreasonable." He glanced at me and grinned. "It's for your own good, bro. It's high time you learned how to have a little fun."

I wanted to object, but I'd already agreed to Mikey's 'blanket rule', and…and Sensei had told me get out more, in a way. And April had said baby steps were the best way to do that, right? Two days couldn't be that bad. Part of me was glad that Mikey wanted to do something with me, enough to make it a requirement twice a month…although given that it was Mikey, whatever he planned would undoubtedly involve large amounts of people. But two days…I could get through two days. Probably. And anyways, Mikey's little no-veto clause worked both ways. "Alright, fine. Rule number four: you have to practice with me at least three times a week."

Mikey's jaw dropped. "Three times a week? Dude, that's _six times_ the day requirement of my rule!"

"But proportionally it's still entirely reasonable," I replied calmly, admittedly smugly glad to have thrown Mikey off-guard in return. "We currently practice every single day except for weekends; that's an average of twenty, twenty-two days each month depending on its length and how it falls in the calendar. Practicing three times a week is only twelve practices; I'm nearly halving the current practice load, which is more than reasonable."

Mikey gaped at me for another minute, leaving me to have to grab him and drag him through the crosswalk we reached. He finally sighed and groaned, starting to walk again. "Fine, fine. I guess I set myself up for that. But apartment rules are totally not supposed to be created out of vengeance."

I shrugged. "Your rule technically didn't apply to our apartment or its arrangements, so mine didn't either. And it's exactly vengeance; you need to stay in shape, we all do. Relaxing our guard and not ensuring that we are just as proficient with our new bodies as we were with our old ones is just asking for trouble."

"Yeah, yeah. Okay, rule number five: no hair is allowed to be left in the drain after showers. I've seen what it looks like after Sensei's been in there, and it's all sorts of gross." Mikey shuddered.

"You won't hear me complaining," I replied, swiping at my hair again to get it out of my eyes and off of my neck. "I'll be cutting mine as soon as possible, so hopefully the drain thing won't be an issue…and it'll stop driving me insane."

"I totally claim the right to help you decide on a style!" Mikey blurted out. "If at least one of us isn't thinking about what the ladies like, you'll just hack it all off however you want and just be happy with it being out of your face."

I gaped at him. "Why would I care whether women will like my hair or not?"

"I rest my case," Mikey said, exasperated. "It's all about presentation, bro. You'll never get a lady _or_ a job if you run around looking like you cut your hair by yourself with a kitchen knife and no mirror. Next rule."

What I wanted to do was try to lay down some guidelines regarding how late Mikey was out and when, but I didn't want to change the tone of the conversation…and I wasn't sure if it was my place anymore. Even though Sensei had only just left and we'd only just started this new life, it already felt like our relationship was just that of brothers, rather than members of a clan with a hierarchy. Maybe I'd just figure out a way to ask him carefully. "Rule number six…reasonable hours for movies and loud music," I said finally. "We're both going to have jobs, so _The Fast and the Furious_ and/or Coldplay at eleven-thirty at night is not going to work."

"Eeeehhh…alright. Loud movies and music before eleven. I can do that. I think. Anything else?"

I thought quickly, and shook my head before I started talking about carrying cell phones everywhere he went. "Not that I can think of off the top of my head."

"Alright. On to requests. These are not required to be agreed on, just so you know. Okay, for me, open-door policy regarding Klunk." He glanced at me hopefully. "You _know_ he doesn't get into people's stuff unless it's really shiny or on the ground, and he hates being stuck in just one room the whole day."

I smiled fondly. Of course Mikey would be thinking of his cat. "That's fine. I really don't mind if he has free reign of the apartment."

Mikey grinned. "Good, 'cause he likes you. I think he'd be sneaking into your room in the Lair and spending the night with you a lot if you actually opened your door. And, you know, slept for more than five hours like a normal person. Anyways, what about you?"

I hesitated again, trying to think of the least restricting way to phrase my words. "Would you mind letting me know when you're going out, and where? You don't have to tell me anything about what you're doing or when you're expecting to be back or anything like that, I'd just…I'd like to know where you are."

Mikey gave a lopsided smile. "That's no big deal, bro. I was kind of waiting for something like that, anyways. And besides, you'll be with me some of the times I'm going out, so that's fine." He nudged me with his elbow. "I'd be worried if you _didn't_ ask that kind of stuff; strange behavior is always the first sign of brainwashing and/or body-swapping. This way I know it's still you. Oh, and what do we want to do about food? I mean, you can't really cook all that well—no offense—"

"None taken." I was honest enough to admit that cooking wasn't one of my strengths. I had mastered a few dishes, but my culinary repertoire was far from extensive.

"—and I don't really wanna cook every single night. Are you okay with take-out or frozen pizzas occasionally?"

I laughed. "I don't know if you've noticed, Mikey, but our diet already includes a lot of both of those. It's fine; I don't expect you to take care of the cooking all the time. I can handle laundry, if you want. Cleaning the apartment and doing dishes can be up to both of us."

"Sounds good," Mikey replied. He peered at the paper in my hands and stopped, craning his head up. "Is this the place?"

I glanced up at the old brick apartment building beside us and at the papers Don had given me. It was short, for an apartment building, only five floors high. I was oddly reassured to see fire escapes adorning the side of it; it almost seemed homey, something out of what was now, suddenly and disconcertingly, our past. "Yeah, this is it. The apartment's on the fifth floor."

"Fifth? I hope they have an elevator or moving in is gonna suck."

As it turned out, there was an elevator, albeit a very slow one; the inside of the building had apparently been renovated and updated slightly, though you couldn't tell from the outside. Mikey was bouncing on the balls of his feet by the time we reached the fifth floor, and he nearly shot down the hallway towards apartment 516. He knocked on the door enthusiastically, and by the time I caught up to him the door had opened to reveal a tall woman in her thirties. She smiled at us, holding out her hand. "Mr.'s Hamand, I presume?"

"That's us. I'm Leo, and this is my brother Mike," I replied, shaking her hand and glad that I had remembered that we were going by our nicknames as much as possible. Nicknames led people to infer what they wanted to about what our full names were, Don had explained, and establishing that we preferred our nicknames early on would lessen the chances of someone calling us by our full names in front of the wrong people. "And you are?"

"Emily Painter. I'm the landlady for this old place." She stepped back and opened the door further. "Come on in and have a look around."

I trailed after Mikey, who all but lunged into the apartment, and glanced around. It was a nice apartment, open and bright. I caught a glimpse of the fire escape out of one of the tall windows facing the door and smiled to myself; that was one point in the apartment's favor already, as far as I was concerned. The place looked to be about the size of April's apartment above her shop, with similar proportions for both the kitchen and the living area. The door opened directly into the living area, with the kitchen off to the left, I saw after turning the corner. The kitchen was small but serviceable, with the window facing another apartment building.

"This apartment belonged to a young woman for a few months," Ms. Painter remarked. "Quiet little thing, very careful about being a good renter. She took great care of the place, and didn't smoke or own pets, so if you have any allergies, you don't have to worry."

"Are pets allowed?" I asked. "My brother has a cat."

She nodded. "That's fine, as long as you keep the apartment clean, and as long as the cat stays in the apartment."

Mikey bounded back out of the bedrooms. "That won't be a problem," he said cheerfully. "Klunk's a clean little guy, even for a cat, and Leo's too much of a neat-freak to let the apartment get anything beyond messy."

Ms. Painter turned to look at me as Mikey ducked into the bathroom. "Klunk?"

I shrugged helplessly. "My brother named him. We're still not sure why he chose that name, but we've given up trying to figure it out."

"I see. Do you have any questions about the place? I let your other brother know what the rent was when he called the other day, but I know you probably have a few other things to ask about."

"Is there a laundry facility in the building?" I asked. "Or a Laundromat nearby?"

She smiled. "There are a few washers and dryers in the basement. If that gets too busy, there's a Laundromat only a few blocks over. The buildings come with cable and Internet; the prices for both are included in the rent. If there are maintenance problems, just let me know; my husband's a plumber, and I'm the daughter of a handyman, so between the two of us, we're well-equipped to take on most problems."

"We'll try not to bother you too much," I said, "though I appreciate it. Our brother—the one you talked to the other day—is an expert handyman, and we've picked up a few things from him over the years. Hopefully we'll be able to spare you any extra work and just take care of it ourselves." I spied Mikey waving excitedly from down the hall leading to the bedrooms and sighed, turning back to Ms. Painter. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go look at the other rooms before my brother drags me back there forcibly."

"Feel free," she laughed.

I walked over to Mikey, shaking my head. "I am going to teach you how to be patient one day," I murmured to him as he latched onto my arm. "Somehow."

He snorted. "Sure, whatever. Anyways, check this out! This room is awesome. I totally call dibs on it, by the way."

The room was nice; about the size of our rooms back in the old Y'Lyntian Lair, roomy but cozy. The window faced the river, the morning sun sparkling off of it and illuminating the ferries and barges floating down its length. "It's nice. Good scenery."

"I know! It'd be great for a sketch. And your room has something I totally think would be cool for you. Come see." He dragged me directly across the hall to the second bedroom, speeding me through it towards the window. "Check it out! You have your own balcony."

I leaned towards the window and glanced outside. A wrought-iron balcony spanned the width of the exterior of the room, easily accessed via the large window. "It's just part of the fire escape, Mikey."

"No it's not, it's separate," he insisted, shoving the window open so he could lean out. "See? No ladder."

"It's safe to go on, if that's what you're wondering," Ms. Painter said suddenly. We glanced back to see her standing in the doorway. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but people normally have questions about that and why it's there. One of the original builders planned to live in this apartment, and so paid to have that added on. He wanted his own little place, I guess. Regardless, he kept it separate on purpose, and it's entirely safe to go out on, in case you're interested. The last tenant used it for artwork, I think. She was a photographer or painter, I'm not sure which. Such a quiet little thing, I never really heard from her."

I leaned further out once Mikey moved back and inspected the small space, and a flash of green caught my attention. A lonely bonsai tree was tucked into the far right corner. "It looks like she left one of her still life subjects here," I commented, climbing out of the window carefully to retrieve the small tree.

"It's a sign," Mikey said suddenly, leaning on the windowsill. "I was totally thinking that we should find something for you to do that wasn't practicing or meditating, and here it is: gardening. You could start a little garden or something. Bonsai trees or herbs or stuff. Grow your own tea leaves, maybe get a miniature Japanese style garden going out here…it can be your Zen place."

"Gardening?" I'd never really thought about it, but I'd admired the various gardens I'd seen at the Ancient One's home. Maybe it was something to try. I examined the bonsai tree in my hands. Recalling what I could about the ones Sensei had owned, this little one had outgrown its shape, and, judging by the bits of root breaking the surface of the soil, its pot as well. The different levels of branches had grown shaggy too, the sections of coarse needles losing their form. It also looked rather dry, though it had managed to survive on what rain it could gather on the balcony. If I could find a nursery somewhere, I could try and get the tree back into shape and see if Mikey's idea had any merit. "Sure. It's something to try, I guess."

A sudden jingle rang out behind us, and Ms. Painter jumped, drawing a cell phone out. "Sorry, that's me. I'm going to step outside and answer this real quick." I heard her footsteps lead down the hallway. "Hello?"

Mikey waited until she had left before glancing at me. "So? What do you think? Do you like the place?"

I nodded slowly. "I do. It's a nice size, and given the location, it's pretty close to almost everything, and only a few blocks away from April and Casey's place. We should probably check out the other places, though."

"Do we have to?" Mikey climbed out to sit on the windowsill, reaching a hand out to pat the tree I was still holding. "I really like this place. It feels like it fits, you know? Good area, nice part of town…and we've got all the room we need. There's even a weird empty little alcove thing off of the bathroom that we could stick Klunk's litter box in. I don't want to go look at any other places, unless you do."

I glanced around the room again and examined the surroundings of the apartment. Honestly, I didn't think we were likely to find a nicer place, and I was glad Mikey had found a place he liked. "I don't mind, actually. It is a nice place, and it's got everything we need. If you don't want to look anywhere else, that's fine. We'll have to call the other landlord and let them know that we won't be coming, though." I had to admit that while I didn't really have any attachments to the apartment like Mikey already seemed to, I definitely didn't mind the thought of not having to spend more time navigating New York's crowds while we looked at other apartments. Although we did still have to go looking for jobs…

"Awesome!" He slithered back into the apartment, taking the bonsai tree from me so that I could do the same and close the window behind me. "I really think it'll be a good place for us."

I made a noncommittal noise and took the tree to the kitchen, giving it some water before setting it on the windowsill. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out the tape measure that Don had given me back at the farm and offered it to Mikey. "Why don't you start getting some measurements while I get everything sorted out with Ms. Painter? Don't forget the doorways so we'll know whether we can get our beds into the bedrooms or not."

"Can do." He bounced off to the room he'd marked as his.

"I'm really sorry about that," Ms. Painter said as she came back into the apartment. "Something came up with my daughter. Is everything going alright?"

"It's fine. If you don't mind, we'd actually like to sign up to rent this apartment," I said, not sure if I was phrasing it correctly. "Unless you have someone else who's also expressed interest."

She blinked, surprised, then smiled. "No, it's only been available for rent for a couple weeks. I'm surprised you want to rent it after only having seen it for a little while, though; you're the most agreeable apartment shoppers I've seen in ages."

I smiled slightly. "We're easy to please," I offered.

"I'm glad to hear it. If you'll just give me a few minutes, I'll go grab the paperwork."

* * *

Pretty soon I had signed everything that needed to be signed, dragging Mike out of 'his' room to cosign where necessary, and suddenly we owned an apartment in New York. Recalling what Don had told us about the price of the place, I once again sent a mental thank-you to the Utroms; we never would have been able to do this without them. They had liquidated the accounts of some of their 'Earth agents', as they called them, who were returning to the Utrom home world to report their findings on Earth and its people, and had set that money aside in a bank account for us to use. I hated to accept it, considering how much they had already done for us--more than we could ever repay--but they had insisted, and I had to be reasonable; there was no way we could get the money to rent apartments otherwise.

Ms. Painter checked over the papers once more. "Alright, that's it. I just need to do a quick background check and you'll be good to go. What else am I forgetting…oh, rent is due the twentieth of each month. I'll hold onto your key for now; there's only one copy, so I'll get another made for you. There's a store just across from the 7-11 that makes duplicates, and they ought to have a copy ready by tomorrow. When were you planning to move in?"

I glanced at Mikey, who just shrugged. "As soon as possible," I said hopefully. "We're staying with some friends right now, and we don't want to inconvenience them any longer than necessary."

"That'll be fine. The background check might take a few days, but I'll call and let you know if everything checks out, and you can turn in your down payment and the first month's rent when you move in. My apartment is on the first floor, number 104. I'm normally an early riser, so don't worry about waking me up. And…that's everything. I'll see you soon."

We thanked her headed back outside, where Mikey called the other apartment landlord and apologized for keeping them waiting and explaining that we had already decided on another apartment.

"Alrighty then," Mikey said, snapping his cell phone shut and rocking back on his heels. "Now what?"

"Now…I guess we split up and go look for jobs," I said hesitantly. I didn't like the thought of Mikey walking around New York City on his own anymore than I liked the idea of walking around New York City on _my_ own. That many people, none of whom I knew…

"You sure?" Mikey asked carefully, watching me out of the corner of his eyes. "I don't mind if we double-team it."

I hesitated, then clamped down on my initial instinct to say that we'd go together. "It's alright," I said lightly, lying through my teeth. "I know you'll probably want to check out a few other places other than just businesses that are hiring. We'll probably cover more ground and make better time separately, anyway." I was making as much of an effort as I could; someone somewhere had damn well better be impressed.

Mikey stared at me for a minute, then nodded slowly. "Okay, cool." He hesitated, then stepped forward and hugged me. "I'm proud of you, bro. I know you've gotta be hating this, being around so many people, but you're doing great." He leaned back and grinned slightly. "You get an A for effort today. We can just hang out at Casey and April's apartment tomorrow and arrange furniture. Something nice and quiet with no people involved. You can Feng Shui their apartment to your heart's content."

I couldn't help snorting slightly. "Sounds good. I'll see you in a few hours, okay? Be careful." I winced, the comment having come out automatically, but Mikey just grinned at me.

"I promise," he said solemnly, holding up two fingers. "Scout's honor. You know, if I'd ever been a boy scout."

He took the papers I offered him and saluted me before bouncing off. I stood watching him for a few minutes, until all I was able to see of him was the head of pale hair that constantly swiveled back and forth to look at everything and anything.

And then he was gone, swallowed up into the crowd, and I tried not to get desperate or morbid and read anything into that. I would see him in no more than five hours; there was no reason why I couldn't go that long on my own. I had traveled halfway across the world, all the way to Japan all by myself. Walking a few miles around New York should be nothing.

…Except that there had been a lot fewer people in the mountains.

Between obnoxiously patronizing yeti/mountain-demon hybrids who had taken great joy in taunting me when I was struggling not to be consumed by my anger and people who insisted on touching me instead of expending the miniscule effort it would take to move a few inches to the side and avoid me, I knew who I preferred.

Yet another person bumped into me.

…What I wouldn't give for a snowy mountain pass full of condescending yetis.

But that wasn't what I was there for. I was there to prove that I was not as antisocial as my brothers insisted I was. I was there to integrate into society. I was there to find a job, so that I could work with and/or serve the same lovely people _who insisted on running into me_ for the _rest of my life_.

I grit my teeth so hard I could hear them creak even over the crowds and started walking.

The sooner I found a job, the sooner I could leave the sidewalks and get inside somewhere with people who both understood and respected things like personal boundaries.

The first business I tried was looking for someone with previous experience, as was the second place, though they were both very polite about it. Don had warned us that that was likely to be an issue, though he was still optimistic about our chances of finding work in the areas we liked. I could only hope he was right, because I didn't think I could handle something like working in the fast food industry. Of course, I didn't really know what I wanted to do, so Don hadn't had much to go on in the way of suggestions. He'd put a few temp agencies on my list in case nothing else appealed to me. The reality, I was realizing, was that I was horribly unprepared to be looking for employment. In my defense, though…how was I supposed to know years ago that I should start developing skills _other than_ Ninjutsu? I hadn't ever needed anything else, and had no reason to think that I ever would.

Thinking about it wasn't going to accomplish anything, I told myself after I realized I'd been standing on the sidewalk staring at the papers in my hands for five minutes. Walking would, however.

It was on my way to the third suggestion on my list—a translating company that actually sounded both tolerable and interesting—that a familiar glimmer caught my eye.

It was the shine of light on a blade, and I instinctively reached for my back, forgetting both that I wasn't carrying my swords, and that quite a few people were watching me.

Of course, I'd also forgotten that I was in New York City, where people were used to seeing and dismissing odd behavior. A few people glanced at me and my knee-jerk reaction as they passed by, but that was it.

I lowered my arm, willing the heat to stay out of my face, and tried to figure out where that glimmer had come from. I finally found it one building down from where I was standing.

It was a dojo; the reflection had come from the metallic sheathe of a blade resting on the traditional _kamidana_ at the front of the practice area, the _shomen_, visible from the streets.

I couldn't help being drawn to the storefront. I didn't know there were dojo in the city, and yet it was obviously a building meant for the practice of martial arts. Tatami mats lined the floor, and a weapons stand held a collection of bo and tonbo, as well as a pair of tonfa. It was the nodachi resting on the _kamidana_ that held my attention, however; it was a beautifully crafted sword with an unusual _tsuka_ that I couldn't quite identify the pattern of. I stood peering through the glass for a few minutes before I finally decided to just go inside. I wouldn't go onto the mats, not without the permission of the dojo's _sensei_, as was proper _dojo kun_, but maybe just being a few feet closer would help me decipher the unusual pattern of the _tsuka_.

A small bell jingled jarringly when I opened the door, and I hesitated for a minute before entering, wondering if the _sensei_ would appreciate the intrusion. When no one challenged me immediately, I shut the door as carefully as I could and removed my shoes, setting them beside the door and walking quietly into the dojo. I moved to the very edge of the tatami mats, gazing at the nodachi. Even from here I couldn't quite pin down the pattern of the _tsuka_; at first I thought it might be cherry blossoms, but the coloring was too dark, and the shapes just a bit too angular. Perhaps they were diamonds…

"May I help you?"

I whirled around, the instincts of years screaming at me to run. I wrestled them down with some effort, managing not to reach for swords I didn't have, and looked at the man who had managed to sneak up on me. He was of medium build and Japanese descent, with a rather unassuming look about him, but he moved with the tread of a warrior. I had found the absent owner of the dojo. I bowed slightly in respect. "I'm sorry. I saw your nodachi through the window and came in to look at it…I apologize if I disturbed you."

A smile lit his face, highlighting the laughter lines around his features that spoke of frequent smiles; it was a kind face, and in spite of myself, I could feel my muscles relaxing. "Please don't," he said liltingly. "It is rare to find someone knowledgeable enough to enjoy a good blade." He bowed and approached the _kamidana_, picking up the sword before coming to stand beside me and offering it to me. "Would you like to inspect it?"

I blinked. "Do you mean it?"

"I do."

I took the sheath gently and wrapped my fingers around the handle, drawing the blade slowly. A smile crept onto my face at the familiar, shivering ring of metal as the sword slid free. "It's beautiful. Double-folded steel, excellent craftsmanship." I swung the sword slowly and twirled it, flourishing it in test motions. It was quite a bit longer than my katana, but it still felt comfortable in my grip. "And perfect balance. The _tsuka_ particularly caught my eye. It's a beautiful sword." I bowed and handed it back.

"It is indeed," the man agreed. He set it carefully back in its place and bowed to the _kamidana_ before facing me. "It was my father's father's, an heirloom. He made it under the tutelage of a great sword smith to broaden himself, and though it has not seen battle, it has at least served to impress and intimidate generations of students," he said candidly, his expression full of mirth.

"A worthy position," I offered with a small smile, slightly off-balance. I was unused to such openness and friendliness from strangers, but this man had a nature that was hard to resist.

"Ah, where are my manners? I welcome you to my dojo, stranger; I am Kimura Hitoshi," he said with a bow.

I shook myself before bowing in return. "_Yoroshiku onegaishimasu__._ _Ore wa _Hamand Leonardo." I tried not to heave a sigh of relief in having remembered to use our new last name.

Kimura-san's face lit up as he heard my reply. "You speak Japanese? Please pardon me for seeming forward, but you do not look Japanese." He suddenly glanced down at my feet, then the door. "Although, seeing as how you both removed your shoes at the door and did not presume to just invite yourself onto the mats, you obviously are familiar with the culture."

A startled laugh escaped me before I could help it. I shook my head. "It's fine. No, I am not Japanese. Though my brothers and I were raised in New York, our adopted father was from Japan, and he raised us in the way of your culture."

"I see. You are an interesting perplexity, Hamand-san; you speak Japanese and are knowledgeable regarding dojo etiquette, and yet you have the first name of one of the great Renaissance masters, _ne_?"

I smiled. "_Aa_. It is unusual, I agree. My father…was not expecting to stumble across me or my brothers, was unused to the idea of parenting, and so chose names for us from an art book that he came across in his travels."

"Brothers, eh? How many? I will try to guess their names," he declared.

"Three." Ordinarily I wouldn't have answered, but this man was like a mind-boggling combination of Master Splinter's air of wisdom and paternal comfort, and Michelangelo's irrepressible good humor, and I couldn't help but be at ease around him.

"Three? Hm, hm." Kimura-san nodded to himself, locking his arms behind his back as he paced a few steps away from me and back. "The great masters, one of which is Leonardo. Perhaps one brother is…Michelangelo?"

I nodded. "The youngest. He is just as…energetic as his namesake."

He beamed. "As a youngest brother myself, I say that is a good thing. You elder brothers may never know it, but we younger ones appreciate the freedom and leniency we have because of you. Let's see, let's see…this memory of mine must know another…Botticelli, perhaps?"

"I'm afraid not."

"Bah! Of course not," Kimura-san murmured. "Such a name is too weighty for a child, or even a man. Your name bears a great deal of weight too, Hamand-san," he said suddenly, gazing at me with keen eyes. "Architect, inventor, artist, 'brave lion'…your father gave you much to live up to."

"He did indeed," I agreed softly, thinking of the example he had set and called for me to follow. "Even if he didn't know it at the time, I believe he came to understand that."

"Good. One should always know exactly what they are saddling a child with when they name them. My parents were kind, but less than shrewd. 'Even-tempered', 'level'…it did not take them many years to realize they might have misnamed me, but by then it was too late to change anything," he said cheerfully. "My dear mother said that perhaps time would tame my rapscallion nature; do you think it has?"

I couldn't help laughing. "I'm afraid I don't know enough to have an opinion, Kimura-san, though if time hasn't changed you at all, I'd say that's for the best."

A piping laugh escaped him as well. "Ha!! You think that, do you? Wonderful, wonderful. It is good to be supported in my eccentricities," he chortled. "Ah, back to the matter at hand. Another master, hm, hm…Raphael, maybe? Another great painter, very gifted."

"You got another one, Kimura-san. He is only just younger than me."

"Your lieutenant, yes? A strong support in your life?"

I smiled. "The strongest, though he is also my greatest challenger."

Kimura-san snorted. "Of course! What younger brother is not born to keep his elder on his toes? But it builds character and humility; one becomes a strong leader by leading strong people. It is impossible to be a fair and just leader unless one is forced to always measure one's decisions carefully. He is good for you. Raphael; a good strong name." He nodded sharply and resumed his pacing. "Now we come to the last one. Hm, hm…a great Renaissance master…Leonardo, Raphael, and Michelangelo…ah! My mind is defeated, Hamand-san; what is the name of your last brother?"

"Donatello."

"Ah!" Kimura-san cried, shaking his head. "Donatello, of course! Bah, to forget such a man. Another famous artist, and a sculptor as well. Your father chose excellent names, I must say. Hamand-san, would like to take some tea with an old man? Before your arrival, I was brewing some oolong that promises to be a good batch."

I hesitated for a minute. I should go and try a few more of the businesses that Don had given me as recommendations, but…but this was comfortable. This was a bit of the familiar that I had never thought to find, and Kimura-san was extremely easy to talk to. And hadn't Sensei told me to live more for myself? We had an entire week; one day off wasn't going to hurt. Besides, I'd tried a few places, and Mikey and I had found an apartment; I'd accomplished enough to justify some time for myself. I smiled and inclined my head. "I'd love to. Thank you very much for the invitation." Something else also finally registered in my brain. "And please, you may call me Leonardo."

"In that case, I am Hitoshi; no need to stand on formalities. Unless you are looking for a _sensei_, then I am afraid I have entirely destroyed my appearance as an authority figure."

"You're safe, Hitoshi-san," I said, suppressing a smile. "I am merely sightseeing, though I would enjoy having the opportunity to spar with you sometime, if you are willing."

Hitoshi-san smiled widely as he gestured for me to follow him into the back, leading me into a small, neat office arranged in the Japanese style. A small tea set was sitting on the low table, and the aroma of fresh brewed tea permeated the air. "You have been trained in martial arts? That explains your knowledge of _dojo kun_."

"_Hai_. My father trained us in Ninjutsu."

"Ninjutsu? An interesting choice," Hitoshi-san said as he poured two cups of tea. He smiled and slid the second cup towards me. "Now then. Since I have been prying so far into your life, Leonardo-san, I shall repay your patience by telling you about myself…though I can't assure you that it will be as exciting a story as I sense yours is. It is not a fair deal, being stuck with the ramblings of an old man, but such is your fate today."

I couldn't help laughing. "Hitoshi-san, there isn't anything I'd rather be doing," I said honestly.

He laughed as well. "Surely there are many more exciting ways to spend an afternoon! Nevertheless, I appreciate your words." He toasted me. "If all my chance encounters with strangers were as enjoyable as this one, I should be a lucky man indeed."

I raised my glass as well. "Indeed. I wish my luck was always so good."

We fell to sipping our tea as Hitoshi-san introduced himself, telling me about how he had come to New York and started his dojo. I was aware of the sun slipping across the sky, but I felt no need to leave. It was extremely strange to feel so comfortable with a stranger, but Hitoshi-san was such an open, inviting person, and to be in a dojo again had me feeling completely at ease.

Perhaps it wasn't how I'd planned to spend my afternoon, but I was being spontaneous; and in terms of Master Splinter's lesson, that was an accomplishment as well.

* * *

By the time I left Hitoshi-san's dojo, I only just had enough time to meet up with my brothers without being late. I couldn't regret the rush it put me in, though, not when Hitoshi-san had invited me to come back to visit again whenever I had the time.

Despite my attempt to rush, I was still the last one to arrive at the restaurant. I spied my brothers, Casey and April sitting at the very back of the dining area, thanks to Mikey's exuberant waving. I quickly thread my way among the tables and smiled at the first familiar faces I'd seen in what felt like ages, returning the greetings and the heckling I got for being late.

Don smiled back, scooting in so that I could slip past him to the available chair. "I made sure to save you this seat," he said quietly, giving me a knowing smile as I slid into the chair with a sigh.

I smiled at him gratefully, knowing what he meant; the table was at the very back of the restaurant, leaving no one at our backs, and my chair was as far from the hanging overhead light as possible. It never failed to amaze me just how much Don saw, nor how conscientious of us he was. "I really appreciate it, Don. Really."

He laughed. "I figured you would. Mikey told us about your success with the apartment; congratulations on that. We expect the grand tour at some point."

"You'll be helping us move in, so that works perfectly," I retorted. "How did you do?"

"Not as well. We weren't that fond of the first apartment, but the landlord of the second had something come up at work and couldn't meet us. We're going to try again tomorrow. I got a job, though."

"Yeah, as part of the Geek Squad," Raph snickered gleefully as he slid a basket of garlic bread towards me.

Don sighed. "Yes, Raph, we all enjoy the hilarious irony involved in such a coincidence. At least I _have_ a job, thank you very much."

"Hey, I'm working on it, alright?"

I smiled and placed my order once the waitress came around, sinking back into my chair, content to watch Don chastise Mikey for flirting with the poor waitress until she blushed and to listen to all the familiar bickering. April was separating Raph and Casey, scolding both of them for trying to blow straw wrappers at each other while handing me the extra glass of water they'd saved for me.

It was like being home; my family was lively enough to block out any noise from the surrounding tables, and I, finally out of the view of public eye, could relax and go back to watching over them.

For now, at least.

* * *

**A/N:** Holy crap, this sucker did NOT want to end! This chapter just wanted to keep writing itself longer and longer, till I finally just put my foot down and cut it off. It's 35 pages long…which I hope makes up for it being later than I wanted. Ah well, it's a little quicker than the last one, at least, so I hope you guys will forgive. I think I can keep up the 3-4 week maximum wait between chapters…hopefully. The next update's scheduling might be a little sketchy, though, because midterms are four weeks from now. I'll keep chugging away at it, though, so don't worry. ^_^ And please remember, much of this is written with artistic license and imagination. So when you encounter logistical mistakes (cough cough APARTMENT BUYING SCENE cough), please bear in mind that I have never in my life rented an apartment, and as such, have only the faintest idea of what's involved. I thank you for your understanding. ^_^;;

As always, concrit is greatly appreciated, especially concerning the characters (OC and otherwise). Reviews and love are always welcome too. :)


	7. Chapter 7

_**Disclaimer:**__ See previous chapters._

_Wow. I don't have enough words to tell you all how sorry I am about this delay. Four months is absolutely ridiculous, but to be honest, there wasn't much of anything else I could do. School and finals ate up all my time between March and May, then I was gone in Costa Rica for three weeks, and then my computer's power supply died, leaving me completely unable to even turn my computer on, let alone get to my story documents. Hopefully, such a long stretch between updates won't ever happen again. I want to say, yet again, that I really appreciate how patient you all are, and how you've stuck with me. It really makes this worth it. _

_Needless to say, this chapter has been a while in the making, and I hope it meets everyone's expectations. There is a lot to look forward to; haircuts, move-in days, and even some brotherly bonding. And it's 32 pages long! Also, I want you guys to know that the pace is definitely going to change a bit now; I'm finally past the introductory stage of setting this story up, so from here, the fun stuff starts and things are going to get really busy for the guys. More OCs are going to be popping up, but I promise only a handful will be permanent parts of the story, so for those of you who don't like OCs, never fear! So now we get into the meat and potatoes of the story, which is my favorite part. I can't wait to see what you all think of what I've got planned, and I hope you stick with me through this. Happy reading!_

* * *

**Raphael**

The next day saw us right back out on the streets, checkin' the rest of Don's printouts in hopes of findin' a decent apartment. It was definitely a change of pace, walkin' the streets like we belonged there; all of our travelin' used to be either above or below the streets, but definitely not on 'em.

The first place we came to I was ready to pass by as soon as we came to it. It was nice-lookin', to be fair, but it was in what was obviously a _nice_ neighborhood, the kind where the people all smile an' schmooze an' know all their neighbors an' they have to be in everyone else's business so they've got enough to gossip about. It was just a bright, little brownstone, no fire escape, right where everyone could see it. Basically, it was exactly the kind of place we _didn't_ want to be, 'cause sooner or later, somethin' would either go down or blow up, and then we'd have way more witnesses than we would want.

Don didn't seem to realize the place was a death trap; he was just listenin' to the realtor yammer on and on, smilin' as we inspected the place.

"So, what do you think?" the guy asked once he finally shut up.

"I think we're lookin' for somethin' a little closer to the west side of town," I replied bluntly. There was no need to sugarcoat it.

"Actually, this looks like exactly what we're looking for," Don said, like he hadn't even heard me, like he had no idea how much of a stupid idea renting this place would be.

I grit my teeth, bitin' back the first five things I wanted to say in response to that. Sensei told me to start workin' on my temper, an' I had a prime opportunity right in front of me. "Don, can I talk to you for a second?" I bit out, tryin' hard not to sound as pissed as I was.

He glanced up at me, actually lookin' confused, then shrugged. "Sure." He glanced over at the landlord an' smiled apologetically. "Excuse us for a second."

I marched into one of the bedrooms, tryin' to find somewhere that I could blow up at my brother where the schmuck outside couldn't hear us.

Don just trailed behind me, lookin' at me quizzically when I finally stopped. "What is it, Raph?"

I was about two seconds away from just reachin' out an' shakin' 'im. "Are you frickin' kiddin' me? I thought you were supposed to be the smart one!"

Don's brows snapped down. "Just because I have an IQ of 180 doesn't mean I'm psychic, Raph; I can't read your mind and magically discover what latest bit of randomness is pissing you off today. Just tell me what you're so upset about."

"You! Geez, Donnie, use that big brain of yours for a minute." I glanced out at the hallway and switched to Japanese. "You're wantin' us to look at a townhouse with no fire escape. What the hell are we supposed to do if somethin' happens?"

"Nothing's going to happen, Raph," Don retorted, fallin' into Japanese as well. "This is a new life, one in which we are unrecognizable to any enemies that used to know us. What on earth do we need a fire escape for?"

"Barrin' somethin' ridiculous like _escaping a fire_, gee, I dunno. Maybe havin' another way out of our apartment if we get attacked! Damn, Donnie, we've got new bodies, not a completely new life. It's still our same old ninja-filled, thug-fightin' life, just wrapped up in prettier packages in a different part of town. You can't honestly expect that nothin' is gonna happen; things just don't work like that, not for us. The ol' Turtle luck almost guarantees we'll get found out at some point by somebody."

"You sound like Leo. I thought you hated his…what did you call it? Obsessive paranoia. When did you start caring about planning ahead?"

I ground my teeth together. Since I realized my brother was bound an' determined to play Normal-est Kids on the Block an' trap me in an apartment with only one way out. "Just because I think he worries too much about some things doesn't mean he's wrong about everythin', Don. It'd be stupid not to have a backup plan."

"What's stupid is to offer any enemies that _might_ find us an easy way into our apartment."

"Ah, so you don't want a fire escape 'cause you _do_ realize that we could be found."

Don set his jaw. "You enjoy being obnoxious, don't you? Fine, yes, it's possible; a meteor falling out of the sky and destroying the Empire State Building is possible, too. But it's not _probable_."

"But you're still plannin' for it, just like me. Don, look at what happened at April's apartment all those years ago; April's place didn't have a fire escape an' they still got in. We got our asses kicked because we only had one way out an' the Foot knew it. I know you wanna think that no one's ever gonna know that we had any background other than the American home life and white picket fence crap, but be realistic, Donnie; trouble follows us. You know I don't quote Leo unless I have to, but I think this is one of those things where we gotta hope for the best but plan for the worst."

Don glared a minute longer, then sighed, his shoulders slumpin'. "I'm tired of planning for the worst," he said quietly. "That always seems to bring it about. Raph, there are eight-and-a-quarter million people living in New York City alone; four people amidst all of that…the percentage we represent is inconsequential enough to not even be worth mentioning. Short of running into us on the street, there is practically no way for the Foot or anyone else to find us. Maybe I _am_ being optimistic, but I'm also being realistic."

I made a face. "The odds have never really applied to us before, Don; we've beaten 'em and been beaten by 'em lots of times. And you're talkin' about the odds of us bein' found if the Foot just start lookin' randomly; but what if they start closer to home? What if they follow April or Casey an' notice that they keep visitin' the same two apartments of the same four guys that weren't there before? You know they watch 'em; for cryin' out loud, you're the one who keeps havin' to scramble an' re-scramble things to kill off the wire taps they've got on their phones, an' I've lost count of how many times we've…'nicely' told the morons who sit on roofs across from their place to piss off an' go home. It'd be easy to follow them to us, bro. Maybe not likely, an' I doubt the Foot would ever think we could—or would—do somethin' like this, but it could happen. That's all I'm sayin'; if it can happen, we might as well prepare for it."

It was quiet for a while, with Don starin' up at the ceiling an' me waitin' for him to answer while I kept one ear trained on the hallway, makin' sure the realtor wasn't eavesdropping. Don finally sighed, glancin' over at me tiredly.

"Fine. We'll check out some of the other places. But I'm telling you right now, if this place wasn't so outrageously priced, you could take your paranoia and shove it, because I'd pick this place anyways," Don grumbled.

I couldn't help snortin', amused despite myself. "I don't get what you like so much about it. Sure, it's decent-lookin', but it's right by the street; we'd be woken up every time some moron with a souped-up sound system drove past."

"You're just prejudiced because the guy told you that you wouldn't be able to hang your hammock because the supports would damage the wall," Don retorted.

I frowned. "Hey, it's a stupid rule. Seriously, a little plaster, some paint, and any holes can be fixed in maybe an hour, including dryin' time. No one would even know they were there."

"Sure." He stepped out an' glanced at the realtor, who was now pickin' at his fingernails while he waited. "Sorry about that," Don said brightly, switching back to English. "We were discussing a few necessary living amenities, and my brother brought up some intrinsic issues related to both the geographical and structural nature of the apartment, and as they are currently irresolvable problems, I am afraid that we will have to look elsewhere for suitable living arrangements." He smiled blandly.

The guy just kinda gawked at him, and I tried not to laugh. This never stopped bein' funny; if Don wanted to make a quick exit, he'd just rattle off the biggest frickin' words he knew, and by the time anyone figured out what he'd said, he was already gone. Worked great on Mikey, 'cause the bonehead's eyes would start glazin' over about two sentences in.

"Thanks so much for taking time out of your busy day to assist us, and I wish you luck in finding another tenet interested in your establishment," he added over his shoulder as we walked out the door.

I kept quiet on the way over to the next apartment, though Don lightened up once we finally saw it. It was a lot better lookin' than the other one, in my opinion, and actually had a fire escape this time; your good, old New York apartment building. Don haggled and argued with the guy for a while until he got a deal he was satisfied with, then signed all the necessary crap while I started takin' down measurements for the rooms. The landlord told us we could move in as soon as the background check cleared, so after we left there, it was back to lookin' for jobs.

And that was our schedule for the rest of the week. We helped Leo an' Mike move into their apartment—thank freakin' goodness they had an elevator, bein' freakin' five floors up—an' then they helped as we moved all our stuff in about four days after we got started. And then we all spent a couple hours every day unpackin' and lookin' for jobs, then we'd come back home, go to sleep an' repeat the same schedule all over again.

It was borin' as hell, an' it seemed pointless, especially since I still had no clue what kinda job I'd actually like to have. Don had put together a list of potential ideas, but none of 'em were really working out. I wanted to find somethin' soon, though; Don started his job in a couple days, an' I didn't want to be the only one sittin' at home like a bum, even though Leo and Mikey were still lookin' too.

About three days after we moved in, I was sittin' at the table with some water, tryin' to cool down after unpacking the rest of my crap and listenin' to the sounds of the city. It had never really registered before, just how freakin' _loud_ the world was. I mean, hell, I thought it was loud at night, considerin' there are always fights an' sirens an' Purple Dragons whinin' like a bunch'a sissies as they get their asses kicked for like the fifth consecutive time that week (by us, of course).

But durin' the day? Easily twice as loud. It's unbelievable; I mean, how can anyone make that much noise an' not drive themselves nuts? It can't seriously be necessary. As a ninja, I know I'm a little prejudiced prob'ly, but still, I lived with Mikey all my life. No one person can make as much noise as him…but the people of New York definitely try. I couldn't help but grin, wonderin' how Leo was handlin' all the noise. It had to be drivin' him nuts if it was buggin' me. You couldn't hear anyone sneakin' up on ya in a city like New York, considerin' that there was always a cabbie drivin' past ya, yellin' as he swore at the other cabbies, or some idiot two feet away blathering into a cell phone, or shell, just people _moving_. Just walkin', for cryin' out loud, and I swear, none of us had _ever_ been that noisy. Hell, even when Leo had gotten pneumonia a bunch'a years back an' coughin' like his lungs were tryin' to crawl outta his chest, he never made that much noise. And yeah, maybe that was a bad example, 'cause that was _Leo_, and he didn't do _anything_ loudly most of the time, but still.

How the hell could they stand it?

I could only hope I would get used to it soon, 'cause otherwise I was gonna start turnin' into one of those crazies who hangs out their windows all the time and screams at people to shut the hell up.

I seriously couldn't believe a week had gone past already. Hell, I'd only just gotten used to seein' what I looked like in the mirror every mornin'; I didn't look like a stranger to myself any more. I still felt like I didn't belong in the damn city, though, an' I was gettin' more than a little stir-crazy, just sittin' in the apartment. As far as anyone watchin' us could tell, we were nothin' more than your average Joes, settlin' into city life. Honestly, I kept waitin' to wake up, like everything was nothin' more than a dream, or some stupid fantasy-hallucination like when we'd gotten captured by that giant alien monster squid thing back at Volpehart's mansion.

I shook my head. It had been years since I'd obsessed over things like I'd been doin' for the past few days. It was time for a break. I set my glass in the sink an' went to get Don, see if the Nerd Wonder wanted to go out an' find some greasy pretzel vendor for a snack.

Don's door was open, and I hung around the doorjamb as I knocked. He was sittin' on his bed, lookin' through some of his crap. "Hey Don, you wanna go grab a pretzel or somethin'?"

"I'm such a hypocrite," he said quietly, starin' at the open box in his lap.

I frowned, goin' into his room and sittin' by him on the bed. "What the hell are you goin' on about?"

"This," he muttered, gesturin' to what I could see was our old first aid kit. "I don't even remember doing this—though considering how crazy our last days in the Lair were, I guess that's not too surprising—but I already repacked the first aid kit for our new lives."

"…Maybe it's just me, but I don't see why havin' some bandages on hand is a bad thing," I said carefully. "Boy Scout motto is all about bein' prepared, right? People get hurt in their own damn homes all the time."

"It's not that," he said impatiently. "_Look_ at it. I remember rearranging this, now that I think about it. I remember going through it and going "_well, we don't need the plaster anymore, since we don't have plastrons or shells to repair cracks in_", and "_I'll want to get some braces for sprained wrists and ankles that will fit us correctly now_". I was _expecting_ us to get hurt." He slammed the lid shut and dropped the box on the floor, kicking it under his bed. "For all my talk of this being a new life, completely separate and uninfluenced by our old one, _I_ didn't even believe me. I'm expecting trouble as much as you are."

I couldn't help sighin' in frustration. "An' may I ask, once again, why the hell that's a bad thing? This ain't voodoo or black magic or some shit, Don; thinkin' about the Foot comin' after us ain't gonna magically draw 'em to our front door. You can't expect a clean break; who we were is always gonna be part of who we are. Why do you keep tryin' to get away from that?"

"I'm not trying to get away from who we were, just what our lives were like. I feel like preparing for fights means accepting them as both possibility _and_ probability. I feel like if I do think about our enemies in the context of our new lives, I'll go looking for trouble."

A laugh escaped me before I could help it. "Don, you couldn't go lookin' for trouble with a GPS. That's my gig, mine and Mikey's. With all the shit we get into, what's left for you to find?"

He didn't laugh, just stared at his hands. "I'm already thinking about looking for trouble, Raph. I've been thinking about going to Oroku Corp and taking a tour of the library, of 'accidentally getting lost' in the building now that I'm completely unrecognizable. I'm thinking about going after them, and I shouldn't be, because that's just asking to start everything all over again. If I should be thinking about this kind of stuff at all, it should be about how to lay low and avoid public notice as much as possible. I shouldn't be thinking about this at all."

"And what the hell do you think Leo is doin'?" I demanded. Geez, why wasn't he pickin' up on this? "You seriously think he hasn't come up with at least as many ways to use our new looks as you have, if not more? Expectin' trouble and lookin' for trouble are two different things, Don; you ain't jinxin' us by bein' prepared, or lookin' for opportunities to make sure that our life here is as long an' unsurprisin' as it ought to be. But pretendin' our past never happened, or that our luck won't run out eventually…yeah, there's somethin' wrong with that. Because somethin' will probably happen, sooner or later; that's just how our luck works. And forgettin' our past means forgettin' yourself and your skills, and then when the shit _does_ hit the fan, you'll be caught with your pants down, an' without that brain of yours, we'll all be screwed."

Don made a face. "That…is an interesting way of putting things, Raph," he said uneasily, lookin' vaguely ill. "One I would ask you not bring up again. There was entirely too much bathroom vernacular involved with that, and I don't need those kinds of images."

I snorted. "Like you haven't seen worse?" I asked wryly. "Please." I thumped him on the back, my neck cracking as I stretched. "Just take it easy, Don; worryin' about things isn't gonna make 'em happen any faster. All we can do is be ready to kick ass when people start pickin' fights. That's all the preparation we need."

Don opened his mouth, then closed it again and sighed, shaking his head. "Alright, sure, why not," he said finally.

I could tell that wasn't gonna be the end of it. Don wasn't gonna let it go; he was like Leo in that respect. While Leo would worry about somethin' until it drove him nuts (or to action), Don would focus on one problem until he came up with a solution, no matter what…

Or until somethin' else distracted him.

"Alright, let's get goin'."

Don looked up at me, frownin' in confusion. It was weird how much Don's normal expressions made it easier to recognize him in his human body. "Get going? Where?"

"Didn't you hear me, Brainiac? Pretzel stand. Greasy snacks. A diversion from your mopin' marathon. Get off your ass."

Don's familiar lecture look settled over his face. "Do you have any idea how unhealthy those things are?" he asked. "I mean, they almost meet your daily sodium quota just by themselves."

"You've eaten grosser, unhealthier stuff than that," I scoffed.

"What? No way, I am _much_ more careful about what I—"

"Triceraton prison gruel."

"I'm certain that was basically nutritious in its own way."

"Week-old pizza."

"To be fair, it had been refrigerated—"

"Mikey's ham and peanut butter sandwiches."

"Okay, so those were just disgusting."

I smirked. "I rest my case. You've eaten grosser stuff, and it hasn't killed you yet, an' neither will a pretzel. Besides, I'm sick of unpackin' an' you need to do somethin' more stimulatin' than alphabetizing your reference books. Come on."

Don grumbled a little more, but I ignored him as we headed out. It was a decent day in the Big Apple, perfect for a break; you could hardly smell the car exhaust, no one was wavin' guns or gettin' run over, and most of the crazies were outta sight, sleepin' off the night before. It took us a couple blocks, since neither of us recognized the layout of the city from ground level yet, but we finally found a skeezy-lookin' pretzel stand that looked promisin'. Don flicked the little salt cubes off his pretzel an' started goin' off on just how unhealthy excessive sodium intake was, an' I ignored him, dunkin' my pretzel in the nasty, potentially radioactive nacho cheese I got for an extra dollar, a freakin' rip off. It was gooey, bright yellow, and tasted nothin' like cheese.

What the hell. It was worth it.

* * *

We ambled back to the apartment after we finished our snack, Don lookin' noticeably calmer. I had to admit, the walk had helped me as well; I didn't feel quite so freakin' claustrophobic, an' I figured I could stand doin' a little more work on settin' the apartment to rights. Of course, as usual, I'd only just gotten started on positionin' the couch to provide the best view of the TV when the phone rang.

I answered it with a sigh. "Yeah?" Given the fact that we didn't know anyone, an' no one knew us, there was a short list as to who could be on the other end.

"Geez, hello to you too, sunshine. Don't sound so glad to hear from me."

I couldn't help a slight smile. "Hey, Mikey. How's it goin'?"

"Eh, you know, just hangin' out. I'm tired of unpacking stuff, and Leo's training, so I figured I'd call you so I'd have an excuse not to join him. What's up with you guys? Like the new place?"

"Yeah, it's good." I plopped down on the couch, makin' a note to move it a little more to the left once I got off the phone. "We've got most of our crap unpacked, but there's still some we haven't gotten to yet. I managed to convince the boy genius to take a break an' grab some food."

"Really? Good job. All I've managed to do so far is convince Leo to take up gardening," Mikey replied.

I made a face. "Gardening?"

"Yep. I convinced him that he needs a hobby, so now he's got a bonsai tree that the last tenant apparently left here. I'm gonna call it Horatio."

"…Horatio."

"Yep. Good, strong name for a midget tree."

I rolled my eyes. "An' you named the tree _why?_"

"Why not?"

I couldn't argue with that, if only because it was too stupid a question.

Mike was quiet for about a minute before he spoke up again. "Hey, Raph?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you ever realize how quiet Leo is?"

I stopped, wonderin' if Mikey had been walking around blind for the past twenty years. "He's always been quiet, chucklehead."

Mikey made a frustrated sound over the phone. "No, I mean…look, he always made _some_ noise, you know? Even if it was just making tea or practicing in the dojo or fighting with you, he made noise. And yeah, most of the time he was just kinda in the background, but he was there. Now, though…dude, it's like I'm the only one in the apartment, Raph. I end up turning the TV on just so there's some noise in here, and then I turn it off five minutes later 'cause I'm afraid…I dunno, that he'll disappear or he'll actually make some noise and I'll miss it. I mean…is it me? He just doesn't wanna talk to me or something?"

I frowned. "It ain't you, Mikey; he's still just adjustin'. He probably doesn't want you to think he's freakin' out about this, so he isn't bringing it up. Try talkin' to 'im about something else, that might help. He's never really talked a lot, y'know?"

"He used to," Mikey mumbled.

He had a point there. I made a face, scratchin' the back of my head. "Yeah, well, he used to do a lotta things that he doesn't really do anymore," I grumbled under my breath.

Like relax, or just hang out, or take it easy on himself.

"I…" Mikey's voice was quiet an' hesitant over the phone, both odd things for him. "I don't want him to slip away, Raph. I feel like he's going to try to, and that's not what this is about, you know? This is supposed to be a chance for him to get to be something more than just our caretaker. But I feel like he's not looking for anything, he's just trying to do the bare minimum and that's it; just find a job and keep his head down. I got him to agree to go out with me a couple times a month, but I know that's going to be the only fun stuff he does."

I sighed and shifted 'till I was more comfortable. "Ya can't push 'im, Mikey; that ain't gonna help anything. Leo's a stubborn bastard. He's gotta come to things in his own time."

"Raph, if we wait for Leo's own time, he'll never do anything," Mikey insisted. "You know what he's done so far while we've been here, other than go out and look for a job? He feng shui'ed the apartment, took care of his tree, meditated, practiced, and watched me cook. That's it."

"So he's startin' slow, so what? It's not gonna happen right away, but Leo'll come around. Just give 'im some time." The phone beeped in my ear and I made a face. "Mike, I got someone on call waitin'. You okay with me takin' it?"

Mikey was quiet for a minute, then sighed. "Yeah, go ahead. I'll see you at dinner tonight, 'kay?"

"We goin' out again?"

"…Have you got any food?"

I thought of the whopping six-pack and two boxes of cereal Don an' I had in the apartment. "Nope. You?"

"Nope. That's why we're goin' out. Chinese okay with you?"

"Sure. We'll talk more then."

"Okay. Bye."

I switched lines an' set the phone back on my shoulder. "Hello?"

"Raph, man, guess what! Pete got fired!" Casey crowed over the phone.

I blinked, starin' at my phone for a minute before returnin' it to my ear. "What?"

"Pete got fired!"

"Case, repeatin' it ain't gonna help; I still have no clue what you're talkin' about. Who the hell is Pete an' why are you so happy he got sacked?"

Casey snorted. "Pete's the one I'm always complainin' about at work. You know, the loud jackass? He finally got the boot today; he got caught usin' the stuff at the shop to fix his own car without reportin' anything or replacin' it. That an' he's always clockin' out early or not even showin' up, and Jack got sick of it an' told him to hit the road. So there's an opening down here, and I mentioned your name, told Jack you were lookin' for work, you're good with cars and you'll actually do your job, and he told me to bring you down for an interview tomorrow mornin'!"

I swore, sittin' down. "Damn, Case, you—you're serious? This is huge, man." I'd lost track of how many places I'd been to, and I knew I still had more to get through, and the thought of not havin' to walk all over the freakin' city lookin' for a job anymore sounded great. "What time should I be there?"

"Head over to my place at like 9:30 tomorrow mornin', alright? We can walk over from there."

"I'll be there, trust me."

I couldn't help frownin' at the phone once I'd hung up. A job had practically just fallen in my frickin' lap, an' granted, it wasn't a given that I'd get it, but Case seemed pretty optimistic about it.

And me? I didn't know how I felt. I was glad to have a job—never thought I'd say that—'cause it would get me off my ass and I could earn some money, but at the same time…I couldn't help rememberin' what Casey had said about what havin' a job and doin' the whole 9-to-5 was like. I didn't know if I was ready for that.

* * *

The next day saw us both yawnin' as we started the four-block trek to the auto shop that Casey worked at, joinin' the other couple hundred people walkin' to work.

"Man, this is so weird!" Casey crowed, way more awake than I'd ever seen him that early in the morning. "You comin' to work with me…Cool, but really freaky too, ya know?"

I rolled my eyes, shiftin' my set of tools to the other hand. "Ya said that already. What's this guy like?"

"Jack? He's cool. Laid back, good with cars. You'll like 'im," Casey said easily.

"It ain't about me likin' him; it's about him likin' me."

Casey shrugged. "Don't worry 'bout that. You're good with cars an' you aren't a felon; that's all he cares about."

"Hope so. I need t'get a job soon—damn, never thought I'd say that."

"Yeah. What's up with that?" Casey asked, glancin' over at me. "I know you guys have all been adjustin' an' busy lately, but me and April hardly ever see you guys together any more."

I scowled slightly. "Things are really weird back at the Lair—back home. Don is pretty edgy about making sure that everything is goin' off without a hitch, an' when he ain't, he's workin' on one thing or another. That ain't any different, but he's just…I dunno. We hang out a bit more, but he's—"I snorted, realizin' how stupid I sounded. "Odd as it sounds, he's a lot less likely to take my crap. I'm tryin' not to unload on him or anythin', but if I do, he just hands it right back."

Casey snickered, a grin on his face as he shoved me slightly. "Good for him. It's about time he came outta his shell a little more, so to speak. He gets a lot dumped on him, ya know? Just treated like the tech geek an' that's it. It's good he's finding his feet."

"I know, an' I'm not sayin' it's a bad thing."

"What about Leo and Mike?" Casey asked, jerking his head to the left as he indicated where to turn. "The few times you guys have been over lately, you've been on your own. Most of the time it's all four of you, or none of ya."

"Dunno. I know Mikey is pretty bored. He comes over occasionally, just to see what's goin' on and talk about things. But Leo…" I couldn't help frowning. "We don't hear all that much from him. I mean, it's not like he just disappeared, it's just…compared to how often he was around an' makin' sure he knew things in our old life, it's a damn big change, the way things are now. He calls every other day or so, but that's it; not nagging, just askin' how we've been, was it a good week, see if we want to join him an' Mikey at training. And that's it. It's too—too damn normal. I mean, it's _Leo_, an' he's not actin' like himself. He's just—" I cut off, frustrated at the way I couldn't seem to say what was botherin' me. It was like Leo suddenly didn't want to be around us, like he was cuttin' himself off from us.

"So basically, he's the way you've always wanted him to be, huh?" Casey asked suddenly, his expression sardonic an' thoughtful. "It sounds to me that he's actin' exactly how you've always wanted him to act; like a brother 'stead of a clan leader. So what's the problem?"

I shut my mouth with a click. What _was_ the problem? Leo was finally backin' off the way I'd always wanted him to, was finally just bein' a brother; so why did I have a problem with that?

"'Cause I don't know how to just be a brother with Leo," I said suddenly, not expectin' the words and yet knowin' they were still true.

Casey eyed me oddly. "Uh, I don't know if you've noticed, Raph, but you've been brothers your whole lives."

I planted my hand on the side of Casey's head and shoved him. "And have I acted like it?" I demanded.

He opened his mouth, glarin' at me, only to stop, his face falling slightly. I snorted.

"_That's_ what I mean, blockhead. How many years have things actually been decent between me an' Leo? Three, maybe? And even then, we still had the whole clan hierarchy thing to get around. We've been rivals, comrades-in-arms, an' leader an' second-in-command, but hell, we haven't had time to just be brothers. So excuse me if I don't know how."

"Well…you know how to be a brother to Mikey and Don, don't ya?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, but they're different. They're my little brothers. I mean, Don and I get along an' just kind of…move around each other, an' Mikey looks up to me, damned if I know why. But…it's easier with them. I don't have anythin' to prove to them."

Casey glanced at me. "Who says you've got anythin' to prove to Leo?"

_I_ did. I always thought I had, only to find out that Leo had never needed me to prove myself to him, had always counted on me to watch his back and look out for Don an' Mikey if things got ugly. I never felt like I measured up, never felt like I'd be able to catch up even if I tried, so I tried to pull Leo down to my level instead, never realizing that he thought we were already standin' on the same damn level.

"See, your problem is you're thinkin' 'bout this too much," Casey continued, pickin' up the pace after glancin' at his watch. "You don't _learn_ how to be family, you just are. Just…try to stop seein' Leo like a clan leader or someone you gotta impress an' just spend time with 'im. Call 'im up an' see if he wants to train or go for a run or whatever. I bet he's got no more of an idea how to deal with the way things are now than you do, but it sounds like he's at least tryin'. Stop treatin' 'im like he's a stand-in for Master Splinter an' he'll stop thinkin' he has to act like one." He smacked me on the back of the head an' gestured across the street. "Anyways, worry 'bout it later; let's go meet your new boss."

I shoved Casey back and took a deep breath. "Sure. Thanks, Case."

Casey led the way across the street to the garage he worked at. It was decently sized, with at least a dozen cars either bein' worked on or in line to be looked at. Casey walked past 'em, wavin' at some of the guys an' leading me inside to the back office, where he knocked before walkin' in.

The man behind the desk glanced up from the papers in front of him, standin' and grinnin' as he saw us. He was shorter than me an' Casey both, reachin' only to about my shoulders, but he was solidly built. His black hair was cropped short, an' he had grease smeared across one of his sleeves. "Jones, right on time," he said, his voice a smoker's rasp. "This the guy you wouldn't shut up about?"

I snorted and gripped the hand he stuck across the desk. "He doesn't shut up about a lotta things," I offered. "Raph Hamand."

"Jack O'Connell." He looked me up and down and laughed. "Damn, Jones, don't you know anyone who _can't_ snap a tree in half with his bare hands? Not that I'm complaining. Can you start today?" he asked me, glancing out the windows of his office into the garage. "I've got a Chevy back there with a bum engine and in bad need of an oil change, and the owner will be back at 1. You up to it?"

"I might have t'stretch first, but I can I manage."

He grinned. "Great, you're hired. As you can tell, we don't stand on ceremony here; you can pick up the paperwork tonight and we can work out the details then. Thanks for stepping up like this."

I shrugged. "Hey, thanks for givin' me a job; I appreciate it. I won't let you down."

"That's all I ask. Alright, Jones, show him the ropes, where everything is, then tell Pat I told him to team up with him on the Chevy. I trust Jones' opinion of you, Hamand, but a second opinion never hurts. Besides, Pat's the prickliest bastard we've got, and if you can work with him, you can work with anyone."

"Makes sense to me," I shrugged. "I'll see you later."

Casey led me back into the garage, grabbin' a couple work shirts an' tossing me one. "Get to work, Raph, and try not to break anything," he joked. "Pat's over there by the Camry, and work ends at five."

And then I was on my own. I went over and introduced myself to Pat, who just muttered a lot and led the way to the Chevy. He popped the hood an' told me to "get my head outta my ass and start workin'". Charmin' guy, but I'd met worse. (Hell, some people would say I'd _been_ worse.) So I spent the rest of the day elbow-deep in car engines, and loved it. It was like bein' in the warehouse at the Lair workin' on my Shell Cycle or on the Battle Shell; it wasn't work, it was just…a good time. I only met maybe half the guys in the garage, but they all seemed pretty laidback. I tossed insults back and forth with Pat after a while, and talked shit with Case whenever he got close enough. By the end of the day, I had oil all over my shirt, managed to scrape the hell outta my hand on a carburetor, Pat had told me I was a shithead at least three times, and I couldn't really believe I'd been there for about seven hours. I met with Jack to sign a whole bunch of shit, and then Case an' I clocked out and headed home.

"So, what d'you think?" he asked, his voice muffled as he yawned.

"He seems like a great guy. And it's a great job," I said honestly. "Thanks, man."

Casey grinned. "No problem."

We split up at his place, plannin' to meet at the same time tomorrow to head over to work again. I continued home on my own, and I couldn't help but wonder who was gonna get mugged or attacked that night now that we weren't out to stop it anymore. I didn't presume to think that we cleaned up New York or anythin', but I know for damn sure that we helped a lot of people, an' that a lot of the jackasses in the city toned down a lot of their 'late night activities' because of us. I couldn't help wonderin' how long it would take before they'd realize that we weren't patrolling anymore.

It felt really weird to be walkin' home after a day of work. It was like I'd stepped into someone else's life, a _normal_ life, somethin' mine had never been. It wasn't bad, don't get me wrong, just…weird. I could tell I'd like workin' at the garage, but the thought of doin' the whole 9-to-5 every day still made me itchy. It was like that Jim Carrey movie, The Truman Show, where the guy's stuck in the same routine over an' over, 'cause his life's really just a TV show. I couldn't take that kinda monotony; I'd just go nuts.

I let myself into out apartment and dumped my tools by the door. I'd just have to take it all one day at a time. If I kept thinkin' about spendin' the rest of my life doin' the same thing, livin' in the same place, followin' the same routine everyday…I wouldn't make it. So I'd just look at tomorrow.

I could handle tomorrow.

* * *

**Michelangelo**

The day after we moved into our apartment, April took Leo and me to get haircuts and go shopping, just like she'd promised (or threatened). Because of some rumors about great sales that April had heard, however, we had forgotten about the little stores and had gone straight for the mother load.

The Mall.

Needless to say, some of us were more excited to be there than others.

"C'mon, Leo, we won't even be there more than an hour, maybe two," I wheedled. We were loitering in the parking lot, about ten feet from the doors. Now that we'd actually gotten there, there was no way I was gonna go back without actually having seen the inside of the mall. "Just some quick haircuts, pick out a couple outfits, that's all. In and out, quick and painless."

Leo hesitated, staring at the mall and the crowd of people streaming in and out of the doors, then looking back at me. I cranked up the puppy eyes a little more, and Leo sighed. "Fine. Let's get this over with."

I grinned. Victory! "Alright, April, lead the way!"

The mall was _so cool_. So many people were all over the place, and the weirdest people I'd ever seen. I _mean_ it. There were old ladies in Crocs, teenagers with crazy pink, spiky or dreadlocked hair, and a whole store full of pierced, angry-looking kids wearing pants that looked like they could fit two people (per leg). It was so cool. And the stores! Stuff was everywhere; clothing, power tools, shiny stuff that Donnie would drool over…I wanted to stop and look at everything. But Leo already looked like he wanted to shoot himself in the face, so I settled with just staring at everything for as long as I could, pulling Leo along behind me.

When we finally got to the hair place, though, I gotta admit, I screeched to a halt. It was a salon. A parlor, dare I say it.

"_Glamour Cuts"_. Definitely not the name of a manly barber shop.

April had brought us to Estrogen Land. It was the basest of betrayals.

"Um, April? Did I miss something?" I asked, pretending I didn't notice as Leo subtly moved behind me to use me as a human shield, and wishing I'd thought of using him as a shield first. "Did you want a haircut first?"

April sighed. "Calm down. I know it looks girly—"

"_Is_ girly," I corrected.

"—but they're all great stylists," she continued, ignoring me completely. "And the prices are great." She pushed at us gently. "Come on, you big babies; you can face enraged warriors but you can't walk into a hair salon?"

"I'd like to point out that your…"stylists" are just as armed as some of our enemies were," Leo mentioned, eyeing the scissors, combs and razors that the ladies kept pulling out of their Batman-esque utility belts.

I have to admit, he had a point.

"Wimps. Suck it up and march."

She herded us inside, and I sneezed convulsively. The whole place reeked of hairspray and a dozen other super strong, flowery smells. I kind of wanted to stop breathing.

A bubbly blonde greeted us from the counter, smiling. "Can I help you?"

April set a hand on each of our shoulders, clamping down subtly. "I'm here to get these guys some haircuts."

The lady looked us up and down, glanced down at her book, then winked. "Lucky for you, we've got some openings." She glanced behind her. "Sharon! Laura! Customers."

A lady with bright, dyed red hair poked her head out from the back, followed by another with crazy curly hair. "Got it. Send 'em back."

Leo and I glanced at each other, then descended into the heart of Woman World. The redhead patted a chair, smirking, as the lady with the curly hair coaxed Leo into sitting down. They handed us some magazines.

"There are a lot of options here," the redhead, Sharon, said. "Check out some of the styles and let us know what you think."

I flipped my magazine open gingerly, and tried not to flinch. There were dudes with poufy, gelled or _feathered_ hair all over every page. We'd totally look like girly-men. I shut the magazine and tried to smile. "How about you just surprise us?"

The two ladies smiled at each other and closed in. Sharon started to finger-comb my hair while Laura draped some sort of mini tarp thing over Leo. "So you're not looking for anything in particular?"

I shrugged. "Just something simple and easy to deal with. Low maintenance, y'know? And shorter; it's driving me nuts hangin' in my face."

Leo nodded silently.

"Something flattering for both of them," April interjected, having followed us back.

"Oh, that goes without saying," Laura replied, tilting Leo's head slightly. "You've got great bone structure. I'm thinking something shorter here in the back and along the sides, but I'm going to keep this fringe. I'll shorten it up so it's not in your eyes, but the black sets off your eyes and cheekbones _so_ well that it'd be a shame not to keep it there for the contrast."

I could see "I couldn't care less about setting off my eyes or cheekbones" written all over Leo's face, but he managed to keep from saying anything.

Laura scratched his scalp slightly and smiled at him in the mirror. "And if worse comes to worse and you decide you don't like the fringe, you can always just slick it back with some gel and forget about it."

Sharon hummed to herself as she angled my face one way and then the other. "If I get this short enough, it won't curl any more, and with just a little gel each morning, you could hand-style it into spikes. Or I could keep the curls and do sort of a Matthew McConaughey look."

"Matthew works for me."

"Great. Well, then let's get started."

I would just like to establish that having people play with your hair is really awesome. I mean, really awesome. It was weird, though, 'cause only a month ago, I didn't have any hair, let alone enough that it needed to be cut. I nearly fell asleep in my little chair.

Sharon finished my haircut in about twenty minutes, gave my hair one more fluff, and spun me back to face the mirror as she pulled the little tarp-cape off. "Well? What do you think?"

I preened in the mirror until she laughed and grinned at her. "I think I put Mr. McConaughey to shame. Thanks!"

She smiled. "My pleasure."

I followed her up to the cash register and paid, giving Leo a reassuring smile as Laura finished up the rest of his haircut. Since I had a few more minutes to kill, I glanced around the mall, checking out the stores near us. Shoe store, jewelry store, pretzel stand (ooh, there's an option), gaming store, kids' toy zone—

Wait.

Gaming store?

I glanced back at Leo. His eyes were on the floor, his jaw doing that little tense jumpy muscle thing as Laura chatted and brought out a razor to clean up the hair on the back of his neck. He wouldn't miss me for just a couple minutes. I slid over to where April was paging through _People_. "Hey, April?"

She looked up at me, glanced across the mall, then looked back at me and grinned. "Gaming store?"

"Gaming store."

"Go ahead. Just make sure you stay there, alright? Leo will be finishing up relatively soon, and we'll come get you then."

"You got it."

I booked it across the way, and slid to a stop inside video game heaven.

It was undeniably the mother-load, the coolest, most well-stocked game shop I'd ever seen, let alone been in. They had all the classics, like Mario Kart, and the newer ones too, like Final Fantasy and Wii games. And at the front was an empty console where you could try out Zombies IV: Guerilla Assault, the newest zombie-killing, blood-filled, gun-nut survival video game.

I was all over it like ugly on the Garbageman.

I parked myself in front of the screen and got started. The game was _awesome_; crazy explosions, awesome graphics, an even better storyline than Zombies III, and realistic(ish) blood spatters. (Given the amount of blood I'd seen in my life, I couldn't help laughing at the way normal people portrayed blood sometimes.) It definitely provided a challenge, too; even being the reigning king of video games (and the Battle Nexus), it still took me two tries to get up to level three.

I'd been playing for almost twenty minutes when I noticed someone was nearby.

"Damn, man, you're killing that game."

I hit pause and glanced to the side to see a guy a few years older than me in a suit grinning at me. I smirked back. "Pun intended?"

He laughed. "Pun fully intended." He stuck out his hand. "Aaron Whittaker."

I offered my hand as well; the guy had a pretty decent grip. "Mike Hamand."

"You've got some serious skills with video games, Mike. Do you play a lot?"

"Tons. Basically whenever I'm not sleeping. I've hit all the classics, and the previous versions of Zombies. I try to check out all the new releases as soon as I can."

He nodded. "You've got definite devotion to the craft. On that note, I've got a question for you, Mike; are you looking for a job?"

I frowned a little, confused. "Yeah, actually. Why?"

Aaron reached into his pocket and pulled out a card, handing it to me. "I work for Game On, and we're looking for a new game tester; our old one, apparently, had a bad habit of pirating our games and leaking them out before their release date. Not to sound creepy or anything, but I've been watching you play since you got in here, and from the looks of things, you've got the kind of experience and skills we're looking for in a new tester."

Now I'm normally a pretty trusting kind of guy, but that sounded way too good to be true. "Is this some kinda joke?" I asked, looking around the store suspiciously for cameras or a sound crew. "Like some mall version of an episode of "Punked"?"

Aaron laughed and shook his head. "It's not a joke; I'm totally legit, honest. Why don't you get together a list of all the games you've played and beaten, and drop by my office on Thursday for an interview?" he asked, sticking his hands back in his pockets after I took the card from him. "Say, around 1 o'clock? My office address is right there on the card."

"Seriously?" I stared at the business card, totally not believing what was happening. "Yeah, sure! That'd be awesome!"

"Great. I look forward to seeing you." He shook my hand again and waved as he left the store.

I was flabbergasted. I had no idea what a flabber was, or how you could gast it, but it had happened. There had been few days in my life as awesome as this one was turning out to be, and I had to share the news. I jogged back across the way, making a beeline for Leo and April, who I could see waiting outside the hair salon.

"Guys, guess what? I might have a job!"

April and Leo both blinked, Leo swiping his fringe to the side. "Really? Where?"

"Working as a game tester," I replied, giving them a thumbs up.

Leo's face went blank. "You're kidding, right?"

"So not. I'm going in for an interview on Thursday, and I'm gonna get paid to play video games. It's awesome."

April smiled and hugged me while Leo massaged his temples. "Congratulations, Mikey! I'm so glad for you. I'm sure you'll get it."

"You certainly have the experience for it," Leo muttered. He shook his head and sighed, then smiled at me. "I'm glad you found something you like."

"Me too, bro; you have no idea."

"Alright, now that we've got your haircuts done, let's get some shopping done," April ordered. She linked her arms through ours and frog-marched us further into the mall.

Leo and I lasted through about another half an hour of shopping before I was bored out of my skull and Leo looked like he was about to bulldoze his way out of there. But we'd been pretty successful; with April's help we'd managed to find several pairs of pants and some shirts each, as well as the little things like socks and underwear. Then, by my brilliant idea, we rewarded ourselves with a visit to the wonder that is Cinnabon, then hightailed it out of there. We had shopped, socialized, and succeeded; we earned a gooey treat.

All in all, my theory had been proven correct: the mall was, indeed, awesome.

* * *

As I confirmed that night, though, insomnia was much less awesome.

Now that we weren't hauling our stuff around and walking all over the city every day, I wasn't falling into bed exhausted at night…which meant I totally couldn't sleep in such a weird new place. When I was so tired my eyes were crossing, it didn't matter that my new room was really light (having crazy things like a window), or that the guy the next building over played Mozart at fifty thousand decibels at midnight sometimes. But sleep was just not my friend anymore, so I sighed and gave up on trying. I figured I'd go crash in the living room; if I turned the TV and just chilled on our old couch, it'd probably feel like I was back in the Lair. As it was, I was never going to get to sleep in my new room that night. I grabbed my pillow and draped Klunk over my shoulder, yawning and petting him gently when he mewled a complaint. "Let's go find some sleep, buddy."

I slipped out of my room and into the living room, trying to be quiet. I didn't want to wake Leo, or freak him out if he heard me walking through the apartment so late at night…or technically, early in the morning.

It turned out I shouldn't have even bothered; Leo was awake too, standing at the window and staring outside quietly. He turned as soon as I stepped into the room.

I should have figured he'd be up. If _I_ couldn't sleep, Leo's nerves would be way too high-strung and unsettled to let him sleep in such a weird new place. I wondered if he'd been up like this every night since we'd moved in.

"Hey," he said softly. "You alright?"

I nodded, joining Leo at the window and handing him Klunk. Leo smiled faintly, running his hand down Klunk's spine the way he liked as I ditched my pillow on the couch. Klunk purred like a motor and snuggled into Leo's arms, already working on getting back to sleep. "How about you?"

"I'm fine. I just can't sleep."

"Tell me about," I grumbled, my jaw creaking on another yawn. "This place is just too…unfamiliar, y'know? Don't get me wrong, I like the place, it's just…"

"It's not home," Leo finished softly. "Not yet, at least."

"Yeah." We stared out over the city for a couple minutes before I spoke up again. "Hey, do you wanna…I dunno, watch a movie or something? To get to sleep?"

Leo smiled and crooked an eyebrow at me. "If you watch a movie, you'll be up for hours," he said dryly, gesturing towards the couch. "Come on; I'll tell you a story from when I stayed with the Ancient One. Maybe that'll help us both get to sleep."

I nodded and jumped on the couch. Leo rarely talked about his time in Japan, so it was always a good idea to jump at the chance when it was offered. We'd heard a few stories, but not as many as I figured Leo had stored in his brain, and I was a sucker for stories. I nabbed my pillow and stretched out, leaving a space for Leo as well. Leo got comfortable and draped the blankets from the back of the couch over both of us while I crammed my pillow against his side and lay down. He sighed tolerantly as I squirmed and got settled, watching me with a tired smile. "Comfortable?"

"Good to go," I answered, tilting my head back until I could see him above me and grinning.

"Alright." He settled Klunk on his lap, one hand petting the little guy while the other landed softly on my head and started hesitantly scratching my scalp. I hummed appreciatively; no wonder Klunk liked getting petted. Leo chuckled slightly. "I'd been at the Ancient One's home for about a week when he decided that seeing the countryside would be good for me," he began quietly, leaning his head back against the couch and closing his eyes. "Never mind that I'd just trekked all over Japan to find him, I apparently needed some more travel. There was a memorial some miles away from his home, and a story attached to the memorial that I should hear, he said. Long ago, there was a daimyo, a feudal lord, with vast holdings. For all his wealth and the numbers under his command, he was a just lord who valued all those who served him. His favorite, however, was a samurai from the province of Edo, a young man named Yoriko…"

Leo's voice was quiet and warm, a low murmur that that started tugging my eyelids closed after only a couple minutes. Combined with the rhythmic way his fingers kept gently tugging through my hair, I didn't stand a chance. Klunk's purring served as background to Leo's story, and as I fell asleep, it was like being home again.

* * *

**Donatello**

As much as I wanted to start our new life right away, I don't think I really understood just how quickly things move in the human world once they get started. Scarcely two days after Raph and I moved into our apartment, I finished my training with the Geek Squad and was sent out on my first assignment.

I was scared stiff.

My training had covered company policy and procedures, how to deal with, hand out, collect and process paperwork and things like that; I hadn't needed any training on system repairs, since I could do those in my sleep (and probably had, at one point or another). But my training hadn't included anything such as how to deal with humans in large numbers or how to carry oneself when one is meeting the human race face-to-face as another human for the first time.

Imagine that.

It took me ten of the longest minutes of my life to make it through traffic to the first house I'd been assigned to, and I could see why so many New Yorkers chose to walk or take the subway rather than drive. With all my equipment, I didn't really have a choice about driving the Geek mobile bug, but after nearly getting hit three times, I sincerely wished I did.

The house I came to was a normal-looking brownstone, not intimidating in the least…and yet it still took me nearly five minutes to get out of the car and walk up the steps to—Mrs. Harris's house. I didn't know what to do, how to deal with a stranger…how to deal with these _crowds_. I'd never been as introverted as Leo, but I could see what had made him so twitchy now. And suddenly I was expected to interact with them constantly.

And I had thought that would be the easy part. What if I messed up? What if I had severely overestimated my ability to blend and adapt and socialize like the average _Homo sapiens_, and weirded out my customer—a Mrs. Georgina Harris? Was it possible to get fired for being painfully socially awkward and inept?

I knocked on her door hesitantly, still uncertain and anxious and terrified and exhilarated all at once. I was about six seconds from running when the door opened to reveal a harried-looking woman in probably her mid-thirties, drying her hand on a towel. She smiled when she saw me, the simple expression of welcome on her face striking me to the core.

I had never thought to see such an expression on _any_ human's face upon seeing me.

"You're here! Oh, thank goodness, your timing is wonderful," she remarked, stepping to the side and ushering me in. "I'm supposed to be having one of those—those 'web-cam' sessions in less than ten minutes. It's my husband," she added, rattling on as she led me into the house. "He's overseas, a Marine, and it's the first chance I'll have had to see him—in any fashion—in months."

The rush of information and the familiarity of her tone struck me off-balance, so I just gave a weak smile. "I'll do my best to make sure that you get that chance, then," I offered.

She smiled gratefully. "I appreciate it." she gestured to the computer sitting in an alcove off of her dining room. "It just won't work right lately," she remarked, pursing her lips in irritation. "It's so slow, and several programs won't even load. It would never be able to hold a connection for the web-cam—I don't know much about computers, but I know that much," she added, her tone self-deprecating.

"Well, I'll see if I can't find out what's wrong with it," I replied, already setting out my tools.

"I'll give you your space," she said hurriedly, backing out of the room. "Just let me know if there's anything you need."

Once I could tell she was out of earshot, I released a shaky breath and tried to stop my hands from trembling. I kept waiting to get caught, or shrieked at, inexplicably; as if I would suddenly de-mutate then and there. It took a minute for me to calm myself before I could get to work, and even then the hairs on the back of my neck (yet another odd thing to get used to) kept tingling occasionally.

The problem was relatively easy to find once I turned on the computer and ran a diagnostic; her hard drive was full to the brim. I stepped out into the hallway and called her back. "Excuse me, m'am?"

She followed me back into the room. "What is it? Is it a virus?"

I smiled and shook my head. "Nothing so harmful. You've run out of hard drive space on your computer. It's an easy enough problem to fix. To start with, can I empty your trash can on here?"

She nodded and waved at the computer. "Go right ahead."

I clicked to discard the deleted files, then used the freed space to upload a program from one of the CDs I'd brought, explaining what I was doing. "This program is something you'll want to run at least once a month, possibly more often if your computer slows down again. It'll regularly clear up anything you don't need; cookies, Internet history, temporary files and the like. I'd suggest going either through your computer and deleting any files and programs you don't need or use, or else purchasing a larger or external hard drive. That will give you extra space on the computer so that this doesn't happen again."

She blinked a few times. "That's it?"

"That's it."

"Oh, good." Her face lit in relief. "I was worried it'd be something large, one of those viruses or something…I've already had to reschedule this session once, and it's just been so long since I've gotten to speak to my husband…"

I smiled and finished the program upload, then hit 'run'. A few minutes later a window popped up with the results, and I showed her how to delete the accumulated files. "Well, I won't keep you any longer," I said, checking the hard drive again and nodding. "That cleared up quite a bit of space, though I'd still recommend looking into a larger hard drive, especially if you use this computer often. For now, though, you're good to go."

She offered her hand as I finished gathering my things. I shook it hesitantly, still trying to catch my breath from the whole situation.

"Thank you so much for getting over here so quickly and taking care of things. I really appreciate it."

"It's no problem," I assured her. "Um, good luck, and I hope your husband gets leave soon," I added carefully, unsure if I was overstepping. People still did things like showing interest in strangers' lives, right?

She smiled brightly at me. "His tour is over next month, but thank you."

I nodded and headed out the door after she bid me farewell, and spent several minutes in the car staring at my papers and trying to absorb what had just happened.

A stranger had smiled at me. Been glad of my presence. _Thanked_ me.

The idea of finally having been accepted was mind-boggling.

And yet…

And yet, my brain being what it was, I couldn't help but think that it had been _me_ that woman was grateful for, my skills and abilities that she had appreciated, not my looks. And even so, had I gone in there as a turtle, she would have run away screaming.

It was so difficult to reconcile that woman's smiling welcome, her willingness to share personal issues with me, a stranger, with the screaming terror that every other person had confronted me with when I had only ever tried to help them, had saved their lives.

As I put the car in gear and headed back to the store, I couldn't help but remember our time spent in the future, and wonder just when it was that beings who looked like us—like how we used to look—began to be accepted.

* * *

I had another two customers to help that day, and that was it, since I was just starting on half days. Both were also very friendly, and just as glad to see me, and though neither stop jarred me as much as the first had, it was still surreal. After my last stop, I headed back to the apartment and waited for a few hours until my brothers got back as well. Since none of us had visited the grocery store yet to stock our new apartments with food, we had breakfast bars, milk, and cereal (not to mention a "housewarming" six pack from Casey), and that was about it. So, rather than having breakfast for dinner, we decided to eat out again. We went for Chinese instead of Italian, since Mikey had found a Chinese restaurant with a special going on. We were all tired, from working, moving in, searching for work, and continuing to adjust to our new lives, so it was a quiet meal.

Still, Leo was even quieter than the rest of us, and I wasn't the only one who noticed.

As the evening wound down, Mikey looked up from the last of his General Tso's chicken, glancing at Leo's nearly untouched dinner. "Leo? What's up, bro?"

Leo was frowning into his plate, the same grim, focused look on his face that he got whenever he was thinking hard about something big. "We've left some strings loose."

I frowned as well, unable to help feeling insulted. I had checked and rechecked everything when we made this change; what on earth was there that I could have forgotten? "Loose strings? Where?"

"With the Foot." Leo glared at his lo mein. "I can't believe I didn't think of it before now, but we disappeared too abruptly. Karai is bound to notice that we haven't been around for a while, and she's going to want to look into the reason why."

Raph snorted. "Please, she'll be too happy that we're gone to care about the reason behind it."

Leo glanced up at him, raising an eyebrow sardonically. "Really? And if it was us in her place, if the Foot just suddenly stopped conducting raids or moving openly around the city, without giving any visible signs of having left for good, would you be comfortable with not knowing the reason behind their absence?"

Raph scowled as he thought about it, then huffed a sigh as he shoved his plate back. "Fine. So what are we gonna do about it? Put on turtle suits and go beat up some Foot idiots? We can't really do anythin' about it now, not without revealing ourselves."

"I've been thinking about that. We can start by dealing with the spies we know Karai has positioned by Casey and April's place; if we…_discourage_ them the same way we always do, that should lay some suspicions to rest for a while, but not for long. Karai is likely to still wonder why we haven't shown ourselves. We'll have to stage a fight somehow, someplace dark. We can simulate our old size by wearing layers, I suppose, but the fight will have to be weapons-contact only; otherwise, there's too much of a risk of one of the soldiers noticing that our fists aren't the same size or shape."

Mikey looked up from where he was shredding his straw wrapper. "Is all of that really necessary? I mean, can't we just let Karai keep going nuts and wasting her time and energy looking all over for us?"

Leo shook his head. "I can almost guarantee that she's going to start all of this, or has already started it, by increasing her surveillance of Casey and April, since she knows they're constant contacts for us. We can't allow them to be further targeted because of us." He paused, his gaze suddenly distant. "Although…" Leo's eyes narrowed and I could tell he was thinking furiously. "There could be another way to redirect her attention. She's most likely searching the sewers; she knows we lived there at one point, and she's probably quartering most of the system in an attempt to find us. We could take out some of her patrols there and not have to worry about being seen. We know those tunnels better than anyone could ever hope to, and we could easily wipe out several patrols. If we do that, Karai will think it's defensive; she'll think that it's all in response to the searches, that her soldiers are getting too close for comfort for us."

I held back the comment I wanted to voice on how well Leo could really claim to know the way Karai thought, knowing it would only hurt him. But I was putting my foot down about this. "I'll be staying behind."

All three of my brothers gaped at me, though Leo at least managed to keep his mouth from falling open.

"You _what_?" Raph demanded. "Why? The hell's wrong with you?"

I sighed. "Be reasonable, Raph. This is something that requires us to go completely unseen for the entire duration of the undertaking; someone will have to monitor the tunnels, and it's completely unfeasible for me to try and do that while running around the tunnels themselves. I've still got most of my surveillance set up in the sewers, so it'll be a simple of matter of just reactivating those cameras and sensors and keeping you guys updated. Besides, if one of us isn't there, it may help to give them impression that there's something we're guarding, or something we can't be away from."

Leo's expression was inscrutable, but he nodded slowly. "That should work. We can make sure to say some really leading comments in front of the Foot ninja that are still conscious, to throw them off. As for what to say…what would make us pull back from fighting _and_ doing patrols?"

"We don't usually run patrols if one of us is sick or hurt," Mikey offered. "Although we have gone out just as a trio if whoever's sick only has a cold or something."

"What if we said that Master Splinter was sick?" Raph suggested suddenly.

I couldn't help recoiling slightly at the suggestion, though I knew it was a good one, and definitely a plausible explanation for our extended absence in Karai's eyes.

Leo mulled it over, then nodded. "That would make sense. If Sensei was ill, we _would_ stay around the Lair more often, and keep someone there at all times. Plus it would explain why Don isn't with us while we work through the sewers, since they have probably realized that he's our resident medic. It all explains a particularly vehement response on our part as well if we were to find Foot ninja in the sewers. Good plan, Raph. We can work on some dialogue or just wing it, depending on how the situation plays itself out. Besides, if Karai thinks that Sensei is alone and vulnerable, that's likely to cause her to focus even more on her search of the sewers."

"Great. Now that we've got that figured out, Mike an' I are headin' over to go meet Casey," Raph said, throwing some money on the table and finishing his drink. "I'll see you back at the apartment, Brainiac."

I rolled my eyes at the nickname and waved him out. "Right. Try and bring him back in one piece, Mikey; preferably one that isn't pickled."

Mikey grinned and set his money down as well, waving as he jogged after Raph. "Will do. G'night! Leo, I'll be back prob'ly sometime around eleven or so."

Leo nodded and waved. "Have fun," he said mildly, straightening Raph and Mikey's money on top of their bills.

I couldn't help looking at Leo in surprise. I would have thought he'd be a lot more hesitant about Mikey and Raph heading off to what was obviously going to be a night of carousing, but he honestly didn't seem worried at all. "You and Mikey seem to be doing well as roommates," I offered offhandedly, trying not to sound like I was prying or surprised.

Leo smiled slightly. "We set down some rules at the beginning, and we're both holding to them. And it's Mikey; it's hard not to enjoy his company. What about you and Raph?"

"We're doing alright," I replied, trying not to think of how rarely I saw him, given how often I was working or tinkering; technically it still counted as getting along even if we never saw each other. "The only problems we have are little ones, nothing more than expected."

"That's good." Leo sipped from his drink before leaning back to scope out the restaurant once again. He settled back, glancing at me before returning his gaze to the other patrons. "That was a really good addition to the plan, Donnie," he said after a minute.

"Oh. Thanks." The praise was unexpected, and I couldn't help feeling a little grateful.

"Would you like to tell me why you're really so adamant about staying behind?"

I froze, the instinctual response of _"oh shit, I'm caught!"_ that was ingrained into all of us when Leo used that deceptively mild tone of voice flaring up suddenly. He'd seen through me, even if Raph and Mikey hadn't. Although, judging by the looks they'd given me…maybe they had as well. I sighed, not wanting to voice my feelings…and yet unwilling to keep them bottled up any longer. This was a different life, and I had the chance to be different as well. I was not going to bite back what I truly thought and felt any more.

"Because I thought we made a choice to leave that lifestyle behind," I said, cursing myself for sounding so tentative. I cleared my throat and tried to speak more firmly. "I know _I_ did. Sensei told me to learn to stand up for myself, to take pride in who I am and what I can do. Well, who I am is not someone who likes the front lines, Leo. I can fight just as well as the rest of you, but I can do more from behind the scenes; having someone in reserve never hurts, and having someone out of sight and out of enemy reach is a tactical advantage. And beyond that…I'm done fighting. I don't want to get into this again. It's like opening Pandora's Box, Leo. You can't honestly think we can have it both ways, being humans while occasionally slipping back into our old lifestyle whenever the opportunity arises."

Leo regarded me over his glass, his expression unreadable. "Why not?"

"Because it's not reasonable," I insisted. Why didn't any of them get it? "Wanting to have it both ways is like…like tempting fate. Sooner or later, we'll make a mistake or slip up, and Karai or whoever will be able to track things back to us as we are now. We've gone through a lot for this change, and I…" I swallowed, bolstering myself. "I can't say that I really support something that so blatantly jeopardizes all of that."

Leo stilled, looking at me oddly, as though he hadn't seen me before. "How often have you felt this way, Don? Felt that I was risking our lives recklessly or without proper justification?"

I wanted to kick myself for the doubt and uncertainty in Leo's voice, the way he looked betrayed. "Hardly ever," I said honestly. "I trust your judgment, Leo, and the few times I've questioned you, it was because I judged the risks to be too high, but it always turned out that you had looked at the situation from more angles and things worked out in the end. That's not what this is about. I understand your reasons for wanting to do this, and I agree that something needs to be done; I just don't think this is it. It's not about you, or your judgment or leadership. It's just that I don't think blurring the boundaries between our old lifestyle and our new one is going to help us at all."

"And what would you do?"

"I would cut things off completely. If we don't give Karai any response, anything to go on, she'll be stuck running in circles with nothing to show for it."

Leo nodded slowly, looking into his drink and chasing ice cubes slowly around the glass with his straw. "So do you want to tell Casey and April that we can't see them anymore, or should I?" he asked, his voice even and serious.

My mouth fell open. "_What?_" What kind of gross overreaction was that?

There was no sarcasm on Leo's face, nothing but a calm, level look. "That's what we'd be facing if we tried the total separation you're suggesting, Don. Casey and April are well-known to the Foot, and after a while of us not turning up, they'll be the first ones Karai turns to, either subtly or in direct confrontation. I've thought about it myself, but honestly, if they wouldn't walk away years ago when my mistakes cost April her home and livelihood, they're unlikely to walk away now. And I don't want them to," Leo said softly, his voice low and firm. "I don't want to sacrifice the best friends we have to ensure our own safety, however selfish that makes me."

He glanced up at me, his expression serious and earnest. "This is the best plan I've got, Donnie. It's not perfect, and it's not a permanent solution, and I know that, but it's the best option we have right now. This will convince Karai that she's looking in the right places, and will keep her occupied for hopefully a few months. You know how vast the sewers are, Don; it took us years to explore all of them, and I'm still not convinced that there aren't avenues we've missed. Karai and her people, unused to the sewers' nature and build, will be busy for months, even if they manage to get a hold of some blueprints. I'm hoping that by the time this ruse no longer works, we'll have thought of something better, more permanent…or our luck will run true to form, force the issue, and then the point will be moot."

I gaped at Leo. "Those are our options?"

Leo sighed, lines of fatigue that I hadn't noticed before settling more deeply into his face. "Give me another one, then, Donnie," he said shortly. "Short of walking into Karai's office, unrecognizable in these new forms, and killing her on the spot, give me another option. Leaving it be won't solve anything, and going in runs the risk of compromising our new identities and is distasteful to you." He ran a hand through his hair. "Give me a better option."

My mind whirled as I tried to think of another way around the situation, another way to get Karai off our backs permanently and not cause any more unnecessary risk to Casey and April…and I came up blank. "I don't have a better one," I said finally, unable to keep the disappointment and bitterness out of my voice.

"Neither do I."

The tired resignation in Leo's voice and posture pulled at my conscience, but I couldn't let go of my frustration at realizing we had no way out of our predicament save that of risking the anonymity we'd only just gained. "I don't understand why this isn't simpler. It was supposed to be."

"The world is shades of gray, Don. As much as we'd like things to be simpler, they aren't. Life is about compromises, both in regards to who you are, what you'll do, and what you will and won't stand for." He paused, smiling politely at the waitress who came to take our bills and telling her to keep the change. She blushed and thanked us, smiling back before scurrying off. Leo looked confused, but shrugged it off, and I tried not to laugh into my drink. He was still clueless. "Regardless," he said, once the waitress was out of earshot, "I'm glad you're with us in any capacity, Don, even though it's not what you'd prefer to be doing. You've always been strong that way." He hesitated, his eyes on mine. "I hope…I hope that someday, I can make it so that such a sacrifice isn't necessary anymore," he said softly, his gaze intense and sincere.

I didn't know what to say to that, so I merely nodded and smiled at Leo. He smiled back, standing and grabbing his coat as he led the way out of the restaurant

My mind was a whirl as I watched Leo's back as he walked in front of me. He didn't seem to notice, but the people around us watched him, sometimes even moving out of the way as they approached him. I couldn't blame them; Leo cut an impressive figure, and his was the kind of personality that was almost palpable. He didn't notice, though, since he was too busy navigating the crowds in order to come in contact with the fewest people. I found myself surprised at how well he seemed to have adjusted to living among humans, as a human, in so short a time. Gone was the high-strung, taut anxiety that had him twitching every time someone walked towards him; in its place, Leo seemed more confident among the hordes, though I could still tell from his carefully balanced weight and stride, the way his head still turned surreptitiously to take in all those around him, that he was still watchful, still prepared. He still moved quickly, anxious to get to a less populated location as soon as possible, but he was more composed than he had been a week ago. I thought also on the way Leo had spoken at dinner; he hadn't issued orders, had just presented his plan…giving us the chance to agree or disagree. And when I had disagreed, Leo just accepted it.

He was already changing from _chuunin_ to brother, and I hadn't noticed.

If Leo could push his boundaries in such ways…why couldn't I? This entire venture had been so far out of Leo's comfort zone that said zone probably wasn't even visible anymore, and yet he was adjusting, was trying. If he could force himself to do things he didn't want to do, what was stopping me from making similar sacrifices? I didn't expect that I could force myself to enjoy fighting, but…I was already being more forceful in dealing with Raph and saying what I did and didn't want, so there was no reason I couldn't adjust the focus of that towards fighting…no reason why I couldn't start thinking offensively, rather than defensively. So far, every gadget I had developed had been for defense; our smoke-and-sedative bombs, the Tunneler, and the security system. But I hadn't ever put any serious weapons on or in anything, save what could be used to deflect incoming attacks. And yet…

And yet striking first might mean ending all of this sooner. I could go after Karai, could chip away at her system, perhaps even hack into it and destroy or alter information. If she was forced to spread herself and her resources across two fronts, she'd never make any headway, and we'd have more time unchallenged…or rather, more time to prepare for the confrontation that all of my brothers seemed to think was inevitable.

No. That was just putting things off, just like our current plan. I needed something permanent. If we were going to take Karai down, I couldn't stop at just feeding bugs into her system occasionally. I would have to get my hands on her entire hard drive, including contacts and e-mail history; if I had that, I could leak everything to the police, show them just what kinds of dealings their precious 'Miss Oroku' really spent her time on. Without her business, she would lose her funding, largely crippling her and decimating her resources. Also, if the majority of the Foot was with her out of compulsion as I suspected—because she had their names and identities recorded, and those of their loved ones—then the destruction of her roster database would, at a low guess, eliminate at least a quarter of her forces as those reluctant fighters among the ranks deserted. The loss of the database would have to be proven to her forces, but surely there were Foot ninja willing and desperate enough to take such a chance. True, if Karai no longer had her business to worry about, she would be able to focus fully on us, but without her vast resources and (hopefully) much of her fighting force, it would be simple to deal with her. Although, if I found enough dirty laundry hidden in Karai's databases, perhaps the legal system would even take care of that for us.

So. To achieve something like that, I would either need direct access to Karai's headquarters and computers—and it went without saying that it was highly unlikely I would ever get that—or I simply needed a virus powerful enough to tear through all of her firewalls and reset her entire system, allowing me free rein to pore through her files and databases and find what I needed to ruin her.

I smiled. Fortunately, I had been creating viruses for fun ever since I had destroyed my first computer worm. April and I sent them to each other occasionally, harmless ones that would do no more damage than erasing the other's Solitaire scores or sending ten copies of the same stupid chain letter, and I'd written several programs that left no damage to make it easier to hack into various computer systems in the city as well. But I needed something a little more pervasive and damaging than that. My fingers itched to get home and start coding.

I had never met a system that I couldn't hack, and I wanted to see if Karai's could stand up to that. I wasn't worried about Chaplain; sure, he had some intriguing and innovative inventions, and I would grant that he was intelligent, but if he couldn't bypass Stockman's cyber potholes on the Shredder's ship, he'd never stop me.

It was time to take this fight to _my_ territory.

* * *

**A/N:** Yay, done! As always, thanks for reading, and please review!


	8. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer**__: See previous chapters._

_Whee! A much quicker update than the shameful span of last time! :D I have to say, this chapter was a lot easier to write, mainly because it's so fun. I'll come out and admit it right now: this chapter is basically nothing more than gratuitous fun (and fanservice). :D I've been looking forward to this chapter for ages, and I've actually had most of it written out for just as long. What happens, you ask? The guys hit the town! It's basically just a totally fun chapter, giving the guys a break and allowing me to just write some entertaining stuff for both you, my lovely readers, and myself. And there's even some character development and some lovely brotherly bonding to top it all off. In short, a rather good chapter if I do say so myself, and I hope you will agree and enjoy!_

_(And please review! ^_^)_

* * *

**Leonardo**

I'd expected to have quite a few problems with becoming human when we agreed to it, even if I never said as much to my brothers. I'd expected to have trouble coping with the crowds, and the overwhelming changes, and the fact that I knew only the basics about humans and their lifestyles.

What I hadn't expected to have such a big problem with was feeling so…useless.

A month in, I'd made no more progress than when I'd begun. After the last of my job options had ended with what was now a familiar smile and a noncommittal farewell—things I had quickly come to equate with a refusal my interviewer was too polite to voice to my face—I admit I was struggling. I had known I wasn't meant for the human sphere of the world, but I hadn't thought that I was viewed to be quite so useless in it. It was a blow to my pride, and though I'd always tried to be humble, I admit, I'd always been proud of my skills. I was a good ninja and a hard worker. True, the former wasn't really helpful in any jobs on the market in present times, but the latter still should have been.

And yet there I was, a month into our new life, and I was the only one without a job. I'd never undersold my brothers' skills, aptitudes or worth, and knew they would fare better than I would…but still, it rankled, to be the only one still unemployed.

And on top of that, it was hard to go back each day after yet more unsuccessful attempts. Mikey was cheering me on, totally supporting me even as he beamed about how well his new job was going and how much fun he was having. I didn't talk to Raph or Don much, as I was still trying to give them their space, but I missed having Don's practicality as a sounding board. As it was, the most I heard from him was to call occasionally when my latest list of possible jobs ran out and see if he had any more suggestions…and I couldn't help but feel ashamed to report to him each time. He never berated me or anything, but there was sometimes a hint of '_still_ nothing?' in each of his 'Really? Nothing yet?' replies.

So I was…hiding. I'd taken to stopping by Hitoshi-san's dojo more and more often, sometimes to watch him lead practices, other times just to sit and talk and try to gain some guidance and perspective. Time that I would normally spend visiting establishments that were hiring—while trying to break myself of the habit of cringing each time I stepped onto a crowded sidewalk—I began spending at the dojo instead. If nothing else, it helped make my failure a little more tolerable, and it made the job lists last longer if I visited fewer places each day, meaning more infrequent phone calls to Don.

And above all, Hitoshi-san's presence and dojo were a haven…close enough to being a bit of home that I didn't mind the slight differences. It was a crutch, yes, but I glossed it over to myself by telling myself that everyone needs some support sometimes.

I walked into Hitoshi-san's dojo that day in such a frame of mind, but like always, putting a door between me and the crowds helped lower my anxiety levels a great deal. I glanced around the interior and smiled to see Hitoshi-san in his office, muttering to himself over what I assumed were bills and the like. Making certain to be as silent as possible, I approached his door carefully; it was something of a contest between us to see if I could sneak up on him before he noticed me. More often than not I could, but the gap between his victories and mine was smaller than I would have thought. I smiled briefly as I gained the doorway, leaning against it casually, glad to have succeeded at least once that day.

"Hello again."

Hitoshi-san's head jerked up, and he grinned warmly at me. "Leonardo-san! It is good to see you." His smile turned quickly to a frown as he glared playfully at me. "Ah, that's another notch in your belt, isn't it? Drat. I blame the paperwork; it's enough to cause any man to be rendered deaf and blind to anything but how maddening it is to be mastered by paper."

I smiled, comfortable enough with my friend to give him a hard time. "I'm sure it was only the paperwork that allowed me to get this far unnoticed," I teased him good-naturedly. "Would you like a do-over?"

He laughed loudly, pushing back his chair as he flicked the papers away from him. "Impudent brat. You're a cheeky one to call me on my own lie, but a good lad to suffer me my delusions. Please, come and sit with me; I was just about to take some tea. I hope green tea is alright?"

I followed him to his office. "It's a personal favorite. Thank you."

"Ah, you have excellent taste." Hitoshi-san knelt at the small table and waved me towards the pile of cushions across from him, adeptly pouring fragrant cups for each of us as I took my seat.

He handed me a cup and we bowed to each other and sipped. I sighed appreciatively. "This is wonderful, Hitoshi-san. _Arigatou_."

Hitoshi-san nodded and smiled, sipping his own tea carefully. "A little taste of home, hm? As tea should be. You were raised in a traditional Japanese home, correct?"

I swallowed a smile, hiding behind my cup as I tried to school my features. _Traditional?_ "I'm afraid our home was far from traditional, Hitoshi-san," I said mildly. "But yes, my brothers and I were raised with a Japanese heritage."

"And you speak Japanese, yes?"

"_Hai._ Our father raised us in the Japanese ways that he knew, but realized that we would also need to speak English if we were to be able to easily maneuver through this society. I speak both languages fluently."

Hitoshi-san nodded to himself again. "Good, good." He sipped his tea, studying me for a minute before speaking. "Leonardo-san, if it is not too much of an imposition, may I ask if you have had any luck in finding employment as of yet?"

I grimaced. "Unfortunately, no, not yet."

"Excellent." He held up a hand quickly at my bemused expression. "No, not your lack of success, but that you are still available. I have a proposition for you, Leonardo-san. The son of an old friend of mine is going to be in town for the next month or so for business, and his sister is going to be accompanying him. She is younger than you and does not speak much English—my friend is a protective father and keeps her rather sheltered—so his son sent a message to me, asking if I knew anyone who could serve as a translator and city guide for her while he conducts his business. They are very close, and he wants her to enjoy herself and experience some independence while their father can't object. Ordinarily I would do it myself, because she is a delightful young woman and I have not seen either of his children in years, but business has been good here lately, and I am too busy with classes to take the time off. So then I thought of you," he said brightly, eyes twinkling over his cup. "A handsome, personable young man would be much more enjoyable as a companion and tour guide than some old _jii-san_ who will just reminisce about how the city has changed. It will pay quite well, too, I imagine, and should last no more than a month and a half to two months, depending on how the business talks proceed."

I blinked, completely knocked off-balance. An entire month of looking for a job with no results, and then one simply landed in my lap? "I…Hitoshi-san, I don't know what to say," I stammered awkwardly. "This is such a great opportunity, but are you sure? I mean, you hardly know me. I'm honored by your trust, I just…I suppose I just don't understand it."

Hitoshi-san smiled at me as he refilled my cup. "Your confusion is a credit to you, Leonardo-san; you are more impressive a person than you seem to think," he said bluntly. "I offer this because from what I have gathered from talking to you, you are intelligent, tactful, polite, and responsible; if nothing else, I at least am assured of the last, for how else could you have kept three younger brothers in such good condition for so long?"

His words were full of mirth, and I couldn't help but snort in reply. "I freely admit it had a lot to do with doors that lock, Hitoshi-san."

He chuckled. "I'm sure, Leonardo-san. Regardless, I hold myself to be a good judge of character, and I feel that you can be trusted. I have gotten to know you well over this past month, and I am confident in what I have seen. And you arrived in my dojo only days after Seiichi—that is my friend's son, his daughter is Yuki—called me regarding a guide and companion for his sister, and only a few weeks before he would need someone to start working. As such, I feel that the timing of our meeting is somewhat providential, and I am not one to let such opportunities pass me by."

I didn't know how to reply to that. I was deeply honored that he trusted me so much after only a few weeks, and honestly I thought that I would enjoy the position he offered more than anything else I would find in the city. "Hitoshi-san…_domo arigatou_," I said quietly, bowing my head. "I am truly honored, and I really appreciate the offer. If you think they would want me, I would be glad to fill the position." I hesitated, glancing up at him. "Would I need to attend an interview?"

Hitoshi-san flapped his hand at me. "Nothing so formal. If you are free tomorrow, I will accompany you to their hotel and introduce you. I am certain that this old man's recommendation will be all the credentials that you need, considering how perfectly suited you already are for the job, as it were."

"Do you think I should mention that I could serve as a bodyguard as well?"

"Hmm…it most certainly could not hurt, although I am certain that Seiichi-kun will have a bodyguard to accompany Yuki-chan as it is."

I shook my head. "I wish there was something I could do in return for this chance, Hitoshi-san. I am in your debt."

"Nonsense," he replied firmly, flapping a hand again as though he waved away my words. "If you feel indebted, you can merely continue to visit an old man and keep him company as he goes on and on about his years in Japan."

"I seem to be the only one benefitting here."

Hitoshi-san chuckled. "You flatter me, Leonardo-san. It is nice to have someone to talk to. If it makes you feel any better, I imagine you will see what benefits I receive from your company—other than willing ears and excellent conversation—at some point. Sooner rather than later, perhaps."

The comment struck me as odd, but the vaguely mischievous quirk of Hitoshi-san's smile told me that whatever he meant, it probably wasn't anything harmful…though I had no idea what he had in mind. "I…hope I can help," I said lamely.

He laughed and patted my arm. "You are a very tolerant, trusting individual, Leonardo-san. Don't worry; you will see what I mean in time. Everything in its own time, ne? Ah, but that's neither here nor there. Now then, tell me, has your father ever talked to you about Edo?"

I shook my head, and Hitoshi-san smiled in satisfaction, pushing a plate of _dango_ towards me as though I'd answered the question correctly. Settling down, he began to relate his travels to Edo, branching off into some of the myths and stories he had happened upon while there. I let the words wash over me, once more grateful that I had found a safe harbor, a place of comfort and familiarity in the dizzying city.

* * *

The afternoon was gone by the time I made it back to the apartment, and I hoped that Mikey wasn't worried at how late I was getting back. I did hope he was in already, because I sincerely wanted to share my news with someone. It had chafed that I had been the last person to get a job, when my brothers had found theirs so easily; it had been unpleasant to realize, over and over again, just how much I lacked the skills required to fit into this world.

I let myself in with a sigh, glad, as always, to be able to put a closed door between me and the rest of the world.

"Leo! Dude, you sure took your time getting home tonight."

I toed my shoes off by the door before padding into the living room to see Mikey lounging in front of the TV with a bag of chips. "Hey, Mikey. Sorry about that; I lost track of time."

Mikey raised an eyebrow, muting the television to turn around and stare at me. "You? Lost track of time? Okay, barring the fact that you've got like…an internal Leo clock that would give the Navy's a run for its money, you hate being out on the streets so much that I know you've got to be counting the minutes until you can come home each day. What gives?"

"I found a job." It was extremely satisfying to be able to finally say that. I moved to the couch and nudged Mikey's feet off, sitting down where he had been splayed out.

"Seriously? Where?" Mikey asked excitedly as he slung his legs back over my lap.

"The first week we were here and out looking for jobs, I found a dojo down on Seventh, and met the sensei there. I've gone to visit him a few time since then, because it's nice to be in a place that feels familiar, and Hitoshi-san—he owns the dojo—is very kind and interesting. And I stopped by today after not finding anything again, and he asked if I was still unemployed." I snagged one of Mikey's chips. "Obviously I was, and so then he asked if I'd be interested in serving as a translator and kind of…city guide for the daughter of one of his friends. Apparently, one of Hitoshi-san's friends is sending his son over here from Japan to conduct a buyout, and his daughter is coming as well, so I'm going to show her around the city so she doesn't have to sit through the business talks every day. Her English isn't very good, so that's why Hitoshi-san asked me, since I actually know Japanese. And…yeah. It's not permanent, but it's something for a couple months, at least."

Mikey blinked, staring at me. A smile slowly grew on his face until it was his classic, face-splitting grin. I braced myself for the inevitable yelling.

"Dude! Awesome!" He held a hand up, grinning at me. "Congratulations!"

I sighed, but couldn't help an answering smile quirking up at the corner of my mouth as I slapped him a high-five. "Thanks."

"Man, that's, like, perfect for you! That's awesome, Leo. I'm really happy for you, bro," he said sincerely. "You'll have to introduce me to this guy sometime."

A shiver went up my spine. I wondered if they would recognize each other as past and future versions of themselves. "I'm sure Hitoshi-san would love to meet you."

"Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Do you realize what this means?" Mikey asked suddenly, going very still and grinning the way he had when he discovered Raph was afraid of bugs.

The hairs on the back of my neck suddenly stood up. Nothing good ever came from that expression. "It means I have a job…?"

He shook his head. "We're all employed! A month in the human world, and we are the working wonders! This calls for a celebration!" He darted for the phone, punching in numbers. "I'm totally calling Don and Raph. This is going to count as one of your monthly outings, bro, and don't even think you can duck out of it."

I tried not to look like that was what I'd been thinking. "Of course not. Where are we going?"

Mikey grinned. "That's for me to know and convince Don and Raph of, and for you to find out." With that he dashed off to his room. "Go get dressed!"

I blinked, glancing down at myself. Pants, shirt…yes, my clothes were still there. "I _am_ dressed," I called after him plaintively.

"Not for tonight, you're not!" he hollered. "Go get some of the stuff I made you get when we went to the mall!"

A shiver ran through me. Some of that stuff was…just weird. A couple things had studs on them, there was one tight shirt I could barely get into, and in one case, an odd-looking pair of pants with straps that weren't suspenders hanging "artistically" from the belt loops, that Mikey insisted were a good choice. Supposedly, since it was seen on TV, it was the thing to buy.

I still thought they were just well-camouflaged potential weapons.

I fought and mastered the urge to ask "do I have to?" and went to my room, laying out the clothes on my bed and grimacing at them. I glanced down at my outfit again. I was wearing a comfortable pair of slacks and a white dress shirt. How was that not dressed?

"Where are we going?" I yelled across the hall, trying again.

"OUT!" Mikey bellowed from his room. "No eavesdropping!"

Which, of course, meant he was discussing things I did not want to know about and/or get dragged into.

I stared at the clothes on my bed and repeated to myself that warriors did not run from danger, and I was not afraid of my youngest brother and his plans.

…The bad thing about lying to yourself is that you know just how much you're bending the truth.

* * *

**Michelangelo**

"Pick up, pick up, pick up…!"

I wedged the phone between my ear and shoulder as I ransacked my closet, pawing through shirts and pants as I tried to find an awesome, lady-slaying outfit.

First night out on the town, and the Hamato—_Hamand_ boys were gonna do it right.

Woo!

"Yeah, what?"

I couldn't help rolling my eyes. Who seriously answers the phone like that? "It's good to know your social skills never change, Raphie," I drawled, yanking out a pair of jeans and continuing my search for a shirt.

"What the hell do you want?"

"Leo got a job!"

"What, really? Cool. What's he doin'?"

I grabbed a hanger and flung it towards the bed. "Bodyguard/translator/tour guide kind of thing for the daughter of the friend of some old martial arts dude he met. Anyways, that's not important. What _is_ important is that we go out and celebrate! It's Friday night, I got Leo to agree to come with us, and _we are going to a bar!_"

The line went silent. "A bar. Does Leo know that?"

"No."

"You gonna tell 'im?"

"The chances of that aren't looking good."

"Did you even ask him if he wanted to go out?"

"Also no."

I could practically _hear_ Raphie smirk over the phone. "This is gonna be fun."

"_That_ would be a yes." I grabbed a pair of black jeans and fought to get them on while hanging onto the phone. "So? I take it that means you're up for it?"

"Hell yeah. When do you wanna head out?"

"How 'bout in half an hour? We can get something to eat at our places then head over to the bar."

"Works for me. I'll tell Don what's going on."

"Cool. Come over here; I might need help dragging Leo out of the apartment."

Raph snorted. "Sure. Later."

"Bye!"

I tossed the phone on my bed and finally chose a white oxford shirt and grabbed a black tie that April had talked me into getting—_"no matter what your job is, every man needs at least one tie"_—and fumbled through tying it. After loosening the tie a few inches, skipping the top buttons on the shirt and rolling up the cuffs, I glanced in the mirror and grinned.

"Hamand, Mike Hamand. Professional ninja and lady-killer."

I headed over to Leo's room to see him staring at the clothes on his bed dubiously. "You ready?"

He glanced up, looked me over, and frowned. "So you're allowed to dress like that, but I'm not?"

I sighed. "There's a difference. This is casual chic," I said, gesturing to my rocking outfit. "You, however, are dressed for business interviews."

Leo stared at me blankly.

"Okay, look, of what we got the other day, what do you actually like?" I prompted him.

Leo hesitated, and grabbed a pair of stone-washed jeans. "These, I guess."

"Good choice. Okay, you got a shirt you like? Other than the one you're wearing?"

"…Why don't you pick one?"

I grinned. "No sweat. Put your jeans on."

I picked through Leo's stuff on the bed, grabbing a few shirts I thought would be good. By the time he was ready, I was holding them up in front of him. "Okay. Which one out of these do you like?"

"Are we going somewhere dressy?"

"No."

"Are we going somewhere that my clothing is likely to get damaged?"

Well, yeah. But given that we were slightly more skilled and agile than the average Joe, the chances of anyone who might attack us actually getting close enough to damage our clothing were slim to none. "Nope."

"Um, the black one, then."

It was a black button down shirt, almost exactly like what he was wearing. But hell, at least with the jeans it wouldn't look like he was going to the office. "That'll work."

Leo pulled the shirt on and tucked it in. "Do I pass the dress code?"

"Yep. Ready for a fun night on the town."

He sighed. "Great. I'm going to go start something resembling dinner."

I watched him leave, starting to feel kind of guilty. He was agreeing to this just for us again, and that, combined with the fact that I was (perhaps) tricking him into unknowingly going to a bar kinda made me feel like a huge jerk. I followed him out to the kitchen and leaned against the doorjamb as he started pulling out the stuff for some sandwiches. Raph's voice hit me again—_"just give 'im some time"_—and I shifted slightly. "Hey, Leo?"

"Mm?"

"If…if you don't want to come tonight, you don't have to, y'know? Don't—don't come just for me, okay?"

Leo looked back at me, a rueful smile on his face. He tapped the counter next to him lightly with the hilt of a butter knife. "Come here and help me," he said quietly.

I washed my hands and grabbed some bread, piling lunch meat on it.

"You're being really patient with me, Mikey," Leo said mildly, sliding me the pickles. "And I really appreciate that, just as I appreciate the fact that you're trying to help me through this transition. It's just…my default reaction to changes and situations like this seems to be to dig my heels in and just stay where I am. I'm trying to move past that, but it's hard."

I nodded. "I know. I'm proud of you for trying, bro. But I don't want you to do stuff you hate just because Sensei told you to let us go and spread your wings."

Leo went still. "How did you know that?" he asked, his voice soft.

"I guessed. Leo, when you decide to do something, it's kind of all-or-nothing, do-or-die for you. You just jump right in and do it. And the past month…you're out job-hunting almost every day, even though you hate the crowds. You don't really ask me to do anything other than train with you sometimes, and Raph said he hasn't really heard from you much at all, and neither has Don. It's kind of obvious, seeing how much you're pushing yourself." I shrugged, fussing with my sandwich. "And maybe Raph appreciates getting that much space, but…it'd be nice to have you around and have you really _be_ here. It's not like I really have all that many other people in the city to spend time with, y'know? You _can_ just meet us halfway, bro."

He stared out the window above the sink, bracing himself against the counter. "April said the same thing," he said finally. "She said that I need to find a middle ground." He smiled ruefully. "I thought I had."

I leaned over to bump Leo with my shoulder. "You're getting there. We've just got to adjust things a little."

"Yeah." He glanced over at me. "What did Master Splinter suggest that you work on, if you don't mind me asking?"

"He said I need to mature, to become someone that people can trust and depend on."

Leo frowned a little. "Does he think we don't trust you?"

"No, it's just…I can't remember the exact way he put it, but it's like…I need to be more than just the funny person that everyone likes. Like, when April has a problem, she goes to you or Donnie or Master Splinter to talk about it and get advice. If Casey has a problem, he talks about it with Raph. No one comes to me with stuff like that. If they need cheering up, I'm their guy, but otherwise?" I shrugged, moving the pickles around on my sandwich until they made a face before I put the top on. "I'm not really the go-to guy. And it's never really bugged me, but then, I guess I never really thought about it like that before. For the most part, I've been fine with just letting that stuff fall on you and Don, letting you guys be the responsible ones while Raph and I just kind of have fun and do our own things. I mean, I don't want to be treated like a kid any more, but I also haven't really wanted to give up the freedom I have and take on some of the responsibilities you've been shouldering for me for years, so it's kind of my own fault that I get treated the way I do. It's just hard to change."

"I understand that completely," Leo murmured. He looked over, studying me quietly. I tried not to shift under the weight of his stare, and it helped when he grinned suddenly. "Well, I can help with that. You can be in charge of paying the bills and cleaning the apartment, and I'll keep the dust off of your videogames. That'll make you responsible, giving you some duties."

I laughed. "Right. You don't have the patience for my games, or the practice. Besides, if I _was_ in charge of the bills and stuff, you'd probably end up checking whether I did them right anyway…" I stopped, feeling an odd clenching in my stomach. "You would do that, wouldn't you?" Leo blinked, looking blindsided. I was right. I mean, when Sensei was trying to teach all of us the basics, I was the one who always put off my homework to play videogames or read my comics…'cause I had three older brothers who could take care of things if something came up. It if was something that needed thinking about, Don had it covered; and if it was something that needed a decision, Leo could be the one to make it. And if something needed hit—well, that was really something we _all_ could contribute to, but Raphie generally had that wrapped up. I grabbed my sandwich and turned away to sit at the table. "And I'd prob'ly want you to. I guess Sensei really had something when he brought this up, huh?"

"Mikey…" Leo sat across from me. "I never begrudged you your childhood," he said, his voice and eyes honest. "And given who you are and how we each developed, I feel like I can safely say that neither Raph nor Don minded either."

"But see? You're proving Sensei's point," I muttered. "You guys have a "soft spot" for me, 'cause I'm "the baby" of the family, the clown."

"You're the one who smiles for us when we can't find anything to be happy about," Leo corrected softly. "You're the one who reminds me to act my age when I try to chastise you for acting like a teenager—which you, we, are. Or were, rather. You can tease Raph and pull him out of funks when, if it were me, it would be seen as patronizing, since he doesn't appreciate that from me. You can convince Don to hold off on discovering how to rebuild the world and take a break to have fun when, if it were me, it would be hypocrisy, since I don't get out much either." He chewed on his sandwich for a minute. "We need your levity, Mikey, but I can understand you wanting to be seen for something other than your ability to lighten the atmosphere." A smile crossed his face. "You're making progress already, though."

I made a face mid-bite. "Whu'? Buh I—"

"Not with your mouth full," Leo chastised, raising an eyebrow as he leaned his chin on one hand, his eyes smiling.

I swallowed and stuck my tongue out at him. "Like I was saying, I haven't really changed."

"Haven't you?"

I hated it when Leo answered with a question. "Um…no?"

Leo tapped on his sandwich as he spoke. "I think you have. The changes are small, perhaps, but they're there, and that's where all change starts, really. You've helped out a lot through the beginning of this process. You made an effort to set up some rules to make living together easier for both of us, and you've done your best to put me at ease and help me figure out what it's like to live as a human." He looked almost bewildered as he stared at me. "It's strange to be treated like the little brother, actually, but then, this is your area of expertise, not mine."

I shook my head. It wasn't as weird as it felt to realize I'd been acting like the big brother. "So, how exactly does a guy go about becoming responsible?"

Leo polished off his sandwich and shook his head. "Mikey, I doubt I could tell you what it's like to be responsible any more than you could tell me how to be quite so easygoing. It's not like teaching someone a skill, like whistling, it's just…it's half personality and it's half something that's learned. I guess…I guess the best thing I could recommend would be to take on some responsibilities. If you take on responsibilities, you normally do so because you want to accomplish the goals attached to them—and do a good job, while you're at it. And then you either succeed or fail. If you succeed, generally you're given more responsibilities, and as it's seen that you continue to be willing to be entrusted with things and you continue to do well…well, then you've become a responsible person in the eyes of those around you."

"You make it sound so easy."

He made a face. "Well, it's the best way I can think of explaining it. If _you're_ so smart, why don't you tell me how one goes about embracing the human lifestyle?"

I grinned. "He starts by going out to celebrate with his brothers."

Leo shook his head and took our plates to the sink. "Very smooth. I would like to go out with you guys tonight. Just…it's not anything weird, right?"

I chewed on my lip, making a face he couldn't see. After talking to him, I felt super guilty about springing the whole bar thing on him. And to be someone Leo thought he could depend on probably didn't include effectively obliterating his comfort zone and tricking him. So much for the element of surprise. "No…just a nice, quiet night at the bar."

Leo was in the middle of putting away the mustard when I mentioned that little tidbit, and mustard flew all over the cabinets as his hand squeezed convulsively on the bottle. "Bar?" he repeated numbly, staring at me.

"Not a creepy one," I said assuredly, taking the mustard from him carefully and shooing him to the sink to start him on the dishes. I wiped off the cabinets and stuck everything back in the fridge. "I'm sure Raph knows at least one fun, low-key bar."

I could feel Leo eyeing me (and possibly the fire escape) before he sighed. "I'm not dancing," he said, swiping one of the plates decisively with the sponge.

"No problem."

"And don't try to hook me up with anyone."

"I won't. Scout's honor." Dangit. There went that idea.

"And don't expect me to get drunk."

I snorted. "Bro, I doubt the world's really ready for that anyway."

"Okay. Good." He made a face. "Now I wish I hadn't eaten."

I started drying the stuff as he handed it to me. "If you hadn't, you never would have lasted," I said brightly. "On an empty stomach, one decent drink will knock you on your shell faster than you can say "Battle Nexus champion"."

He glanced at me sidelong. "Should I be worried that you know this much about drinking?"

"Nooo…you should be grateful that I warned you and saved you from a night of potential drunken embarrassment."

"Right," he said dubiously, a familiar look of Leo Disapproval™ on his face.

I hid a grin as I turned to put the glasses away. It was nice to have him being all big brother-y and chastising me; it was really weird to feel like I was the one in the big brother seat. Had I been?

"Anything else I should know?" Leo asked cautiously.

"Hm. Don't switch between beer and liquor; you'll hate life later. Take it easy on sugary drinks, 'cause the hangovers from those suck, even though the drinks taste great. As for what you _can_ drink…" I put away the rest of the plates. Raph was really the booze-guru, but I knew of at least a few drinks. "Try a rum and Coke, you might like that. Or something like malt whiskey or scotch on the rocks. That's stuff that you drink slowly, like sake. That might work for you."

"Should I be writing this down?"

"You forgot 'don't take drinks from strangers,' Mommy Mike." Like it often did, Raph's voice preceded him. I hadn't even heard them come in, then remembered the spare keys we'd each switched between apartments. I stuck my tongue out at him, and he shook his head. "Gonna warn him about roofies too?"

"Dude, Leo won't even _talk_ to strangers, let alone take drinks from them. And wouldn't our ninja senses warn us? You know, like Spidey senses?"

"Let's find out." He smacked me in the back of the head. "See that comin'? No? Then either yours are broken, or no, we ain't got spidey-senses."

"Roofies?" Leo repeated flatly.

"They're drugs," Don interjected. "Often used in sexual assault attempts."

"I know what they are, I'm just not sure why I would be a target."

"Wow, guys, that's _really_ helping to make him feel better," I complained, holding my hands over Leo's ears. "You gonna tell him to be careful about going to the bathroom alone too?"

"Should I be?" Leo asked, bewildered, brushing my hands aside. "Is that a problem at bars?"

"Given your skills, no. I would recommend staying away from the beer nuts, or any other open snack bowls they offer, though," Don mentioned. "Studies have shown that very few people properly wash their hands in bars—if they do at all—and those snacks apparently have a bacterial count comparable to that of a Petri dish in—"

"For the love of everythin' that is holy, stop talking," Raph demanded. He shook his head and ran a hand over his face. "He's about to go lock himself in his room, for cryin' out loud. Look, Leo, ignore that, all of it." He paused. "Okay, except for the part about the beer nuts, definitely stay the hell away from those. But seriously, you've got nothin' to worry about. It ain't like we're goin' drinking down at the prison."

"Honestly, Leo, your biggest concerns in terms of predators are gonna be the ladies," I said, flashing him a reassuring thumbs-up that mysteriously didn't seem to reassure him all that much. "And Mace or a taser is about as armed as they're gonna get."

"Oh good. Fantastic. This sounds like a better idea all the time. Could I be drunk _before_ we get there, please?"

"That's called 'pregaming'," Donnie offered helpfully.

Raph closed his eyes like he was in pain. "See, Mike, this is why you shouldn't talk; this, right here. Why? 'Cause it never ends well. 'Sides, I thought you weren't gonna tell 'im."

Trying not to wilt under Leo's outraged, betrayed look, I glared at Raph. "Well, as fun as surprises are, I thought it would be better to _not_ start the evening off by having Leo go into cardiac arrest when we arrive at a bar. Somehow I just didn't think that would be the best way to kick off the celebration."

Raph snorted. "Sure. Anyways, Leo, look, there's a nice place down off of Harrison. It's by the waterfront, and Case has even taken April down there a couple times, and she's liked it. You'll be fine." He threw our coats at us. "Now come _on_, before it gets any more crowded and we've got to kick everyone and their brother out of the way before we can even get to the bar to get some damn drinks."

"Are we going to walk?" Leo asked, catching his coat easily.

"Nah, we'll take the subway."

"I could drive us there," Don offered when we all saw how Leo shuddered at the mention of the subway.

I snickered. "Donnie, you don't want to know just how many ways your poor little Geek Mobile would be defaced and defiled if that thing was parked out in front of a bar. The poor thing would never recover." I patted Leo on the shoulder. "The subway won't be too bad, and we won't be on it for long."

"Great. Let's go."

I was so excited about going out, our first night out on the town with all four of us, that the ride just flew by. I gave us all a last quick look-over before we got off. I, of course, looked awesome, and Leo did too, since he had my help. Raph was wearing a tight, dark green t-shirt (trying to show off his arms for the ladies), a pair of dark blue jeans with a studded belt and a frayed knee, and looked like he lived in bars. I was glad April had managed to shanghai him into getting a haircut—for a while I was afraid he might be growing a mullet—and he'd gotten it chopped short and just gelled it into spikes. Don had gone the same route of Leo, playing it cool in a pair of dark green cargo pants and an unbuttoned red button-down shirt over a white t-shirt. Donnie had also apparently decided that haircuts were for the weak, because he'd just thrown his hair back in (dare I say it?) a ponytail. Oddly enough, it kind of worked for the little nerd.

We weren't a quartet of supermodels (mainly because two of my bros had forgotten that I am plugged into New York culture and didn't ask me for advice…and because a lot of male supermodels are gay), but we definitely weren't too shabby. In practically no time at all (to me), we were standing in front of the lucky establishment that got to host us for the night: Manhattan Mayhem.

"Manhattan Mayhem?" Leo read faintly.

"It's misleading," I assured him with a firm push between his shoulder blades. "Come on, Leo; first step, bar, next step, world domination!"

Leo glared at me balefully.

"What? Maybe you're secretly a master of Drunken Monkey style or something. You'd be the ultimate secret weapon. You might unleash your inner demon and flatten the place, and then you'll never have to come here again. There's only one way to find out!"

And so, with a couple hefty shoves, the night began.

* * *

**Leonardo**

We hadn't been in the bar more than two minutes before Raph and Mikey apparently saw a pair of twins sitting at a back table that "looked lonely," and went to "divide and conquer," as Raph so tastefully put it. Mikey had grinned and told me to have fun, and then they were gone.

…I was going to flatten him the next time we trained.

"So…now what?" Don asked.

"Don't ask me, Don. This was all your idea." I was not pouting; I was merely stating a fact.

"Oh sure, blame me. Naturally, my first thought when we became human was 'hey, great, now we can go to bars!'" He glanced around cautiously, adjusting his collar as a young woman with a very revealing shirt started walking towards us. "So…tactical retreat?"

"Meaning?"

"Meaning we hide at the bar."

I took only a second to think it over. "It's a plan."

"Oh, no, it isn't."

We both glanced up to see that the young woman had caught up with us. She circled around us before gliding up to Don's side and sliding her arm through his, then glanced at me. "I sure hope he isn't your boyfriend, gorgeous."

I could feel my face go scarlet. _What…?_ "He's not my—he's my _brother_," I managed to say.

Who honestly assumed things like that automatically?

"Really?" She looked both of us over. "You don't look much alike. Oh well, that's better for me. You're not here with anyone, are you?" she asked Don, squeezing his arm.

I could practically see the gears in Don's head working. Technically, we _had_ come with Raph and Mikey, so he could say yes. "Well, actually—" he stammered.

"Good, glad to hear it." She smiled and patted me on the chest, and I tried not to cringe. "I'll take _good_ care of Little Brother, never fear."

The blood drained out of Don's face as fast as it had gathered there as his new…_friend_ tugged him away. He glanced back at me over his shoulder. "_Leo._ _Help me_," he mouthed.

It was cowardly, and I was sure I would feel bad about it later, but I shook my head.

That woman intimidated the hell out of me.

Don looked betrayed. _"Traitor!"_

I nodded guiltily, gave him a weak thumbs-up, and resolved to apologize tomorrow, providing he would still talk to me. From there I maneuvered over to the bar with the resolution to look busy, make no eye contact, and practice the ninja tenet of invisibility.

In my only bit of luck so far that night, a free stool was open near the wall, and I took it gratefully.

"You look a little overwhelmed."

I turned to look at who had spoken and came face to face with the bartender.

She was striking. She had brown hair cropped short all around her head and styled into spikes, wide green eyes, and a mouth given to smiling…as well as a nose ring, which was interesting to see, to say the least.

I smiled back hesitantly, wondering if it was really that obvious. "This is really more my brothers' scene than mine," I admitted. "I'd leave, but there'd be no one to stave off any incidents."

"He dragged you along?"

"They all did."

A look of confusion crossed her face before she nodded. "Oh, _brothers'_, as in plural. Gotcha. How many?"

I shifted slightly, hesitating, and then chastised myself. This was innocent conversation, not an enemy trying to find out about my family. "Three. I'm the oldest, if only by a few months."

She whistled, bracing her arms on the counter. "Surely at least one of 'em is responsible enough to keep them out of trouble."

"You'd think that, wouldn't you?" To be fair, Don was responsible, but Raph and Mikey were practiced at talking him into things…oh, and I'd thrown him to the wolves.

I was a horrible brother.

She laughed. "Poor thing. I think you need a drink. What can I get you?"

I hesitated, trying to remember what Mikey had suggested. "I'm…not really familiar with many drinks, but one of my brothers said to try a rum and Coke."

"Oh, a newbie. Well, then your brother made a good recommendation." She grabbed a glass and fixed up a drink with impressive speed before sliding it to me. "Rum and Coke on the house, from one oldest sib to another." She wiped her hands on a towel and stuck one across the bar. "Rae Donovan."

I gripped her hand firmly. "Leo Hamand. Thank you for the drink."

"Short names all around, huh? Leo's not one I hear too often. Is it short for something?"

"Leonardo."

Rae grinned. "Like da Vinci? I'd say like di Caprio, but you're a little too dark to be named after him," she teased, reaching across the bar to tug on my hair.

I struggled to keep the heat out of my face, sipping from my drink. I was having a hard time finding my footing around women that were so casual and yet aggressive. I found myself missing April and the sisterly way she treated us…and missing the way women normally ran _away_ from us, rather than at us. "Yes. My father picked names out of an art book. Is yours a nickname too?"

"Yep. My full name is Rachel, but I've always liked Rae better." She smiled. "So what are your interests?"

I froze, trying to think, then decided that I might as well go with the truth. "Um…I train in Ninjutsu and swordplay."

Rae blinked, leaning her chin on her hand. "Really? Are you an otaku or something?"

"…A what?" Was that an insult?

She laughed. "I guess not. An otaku is someone who's a fan of Japanese anime and culture who kinda gets a little obsessed."

"Oh, no. My father lived in Japan before he moved here, and he raised us as he was raised."

"Very cool. So, do you take after your namesake and paint, too?"

"I tried, once. It didn't really take. I do calligraphy, though."

Rae smiled slowly. "Mm, a Renaissance man indeed."

I swallowed, wondering why I felt like I was being cornered. "And what about you?"

"Me? Well, I bartend, obviously. My friend's gotten me into yoga recently. I also go mountain-biking and hiking, and I'm trying my hand at pottery."

"You're more of a Renaissance individual than I am."

Rae shook her head and grinned. "Flatterer."

A blonde man stepped up beside me and signaled Rae. "'Scuse me, but can I get a scotch on the rocks?"

"Oh, sure, just a sec."

I sat quietly as she fixed the drink and handed it off before apologizing. "I'm sorry; I'm keeping you from your job."

"It's alright. Actually, I could use a break; give me a minute." She disappeared into the back, then came back to the counter, letting herself out around the front. "Would you like to go out back to the patio? It'll be a little quieter."

"But you—"

"Alex is covering for me. Besides, I own the place; I can take as many breaks as I want." She tilted her head towards the back, grabbed my wrist and began threading through the crowd. "C'mon."

I grabbed my drink and followed silently, slightly baffled. Was this normal, to just pair up with someone you didn't know and spend the evening together? I supposed I had to be thankful that at least I hadn't been abducted by someone as aggressive as the woman who had gone after Don.

Rae led me out to a patio dotted with chairs and tables and a few small crowds of people. I sighed in relief, half of my tension disappearing at the drop in people and volume. The two of us sat down at a small table near the back, close beside the river.

"This is nice," I commented mildly.

"It keeps me sane," she smiled.

"How long have you worked here?"

She stretched her arms overhead, glancing around the patio. "About three years. The old owner left it to me when he retired two years ago, said he thought I'd do well with it."

I tried not to stare at the tattoo on her hip that peeked out as the hem of her shirt rode up. "Looks like he was right."

She smiled at me and I tried not to feel awkward. This was not where I belonged, but I had promised Master Splinter—and my brothers, even if they didn't know it and I'd never voiced the promise—that I would try things and explore this new life, and I would hold to that. I ordered myself to relax, and was surprised to find that after a few minutes, it was easier to sit with a complete stranger and talk about our families, our lives and surviving in New York. Rae was kind, and open, and interesting, even if she occasionally looked at me in a way that made me want to ease away slowly and hide.

But this was not where I belonged. Not yet…though I would keep trying.

* * *

**Raphael**

As Mikey and I trailed after the twins in front of us, I glanced at the patio an' grinned at the sight of Fearless at a _private_ table chattin' with a hot brunette. With a _nose ring_, no less.

Go Leo. Who'da thunk?

An elbow dug into my side. "Didn't take Leo too long to change his mind about this place, huh?"

I turned to look at Mikey, who looked like he'd swallowed the freakin' canary. "What, you jealous?"

"Nah. It'll be good for him." He jerked his head towards the twins, who had decided they wanted to get some air and go for a walk somewhere more private. "Besides, we haven't done too bad ourselves."

I looked ahead, eyein' our two _nice_, friendly blondes. "Got that right."

"You boys comin'?" one of the twins asked. Hell if I knew which one she was; they were both wearin' the same outfit.

"You bet!" Mikey grinned.

We followed the girls off of the patio, an' as we passed one'a the porch lights, part of a purple tattoo peeked out from beneath the back of one'a their shirts. Ordinarily, I'd be more interested in findin' out just where that tat started an' ended than anythin' else, but it was pretty familiar lookin'. I glanced over at Mikey to see if he had seen—an' more importantly, recognized—it as well.

He had. And bein' Mikey, of course, he had a shit-eating grin on his face. _"Purple Dragon girls,"_ he mouthed silently. _"Bait?"_

I grinned back. _"Wanna find out?"_

Mikey flashed me the thumbs-up and skipped closer to the girls. Moron.

We kept followin', an' soon enough, our 'romantic moonlit stroll' led us to a small, isolated part of the beach where half a dozen Purple Dragons were waitin'. An' wouldn't ya know it, it was just far enough from any buildings that no one would hear any screams.

How convenient an' utterly unsuspicious.

Mikey, the idiot, looked like it was his birthday. 'Course, I wouldn't be surprised if I did too; I could hardly keep from laughin' at what these idiots didn't know was comin'.

"Whoa, this is a bit less personal than I thought it would be," Mikey said, tryin' to pout instead of grinning. "What happened to just the two of us?"

One of the twins—Lily? Sarah? Shit, I didn't know—smirked at him. "Sorry, boys; no hard feelings, right?"

The Dragons snickered an' surrounded us, movin' in.

Mike and I grinned at each other. This was gonna be fun.

It didn't really matter that I'd had a couple shots by then, _thoughtfully_ provided by the twins; I could kick Dragon asses in my sleep (and probably had at some point). It also didn't matter that I was a trained ninja capable of takin' these guys all out with one hit each. Right then, I wanted a good, dirty bar brawl. I threw an elbow back at the first jackass that tried to sneak up on me before I lunged forward an' heat-butted another right in the stomach. A third moron thought he'd try to tackle me an' only shifted me a couple steps. I grabbed him in a headlock and punched him, breakin' his nose before throwing him at his friend an' pile-driving the Dragon who was trying to get back up after meetin' my elbow up close and personal.

At some point when the losers goin' after me had backed off for a minute, I glanced up to see Mikey leapfrog over one Dragon, and land feet-first on another that was just getting back up. He hopped off that one and pulled his tie off over his head, turning around to snap it like a whip in one guy's face. The guy started screamin' like a sissy—somethin' 'bout his eye, the wimp—and Mikey just patted him on the head an' danced past him to snap the tie around the first guy's ankle and dump him on his ass. I could see him grinnin' even in the dark, before one of my more persistent (and stupid) Dragons came lumbering towards me again.

Hot damn, it was fun.

Sadly enough, the 'fight' was over two minutes later.

I grinned as the last Dragon fell, the adrenalin still singin' in my veins. "Worst muggin' ever," I scoffed, kickin' one of the morons that was moaning like a baby in front of me.

Mikey walked over to me, usin' the Dragons like stepping stones and grinnin' at the twins. "No hard feelings, right, ladies?"

The babes scattered.

I snickered and wiped my knuckles off on the shirt of what looked like the cleanest Dragon, sighin' at the blood. Bein' human was great an' all, but it was pissin' me off how damn _dainty_ we were now. I mean, come on, I hadn't busted my knuckles open with a punch in _years_. Don kept tellin' us we'd build up more scar tissue an' calluses eventually, but it was takin' forever. Maybe if I punched idiots more, the tissue would build up faster…it was worth a shot. I stood and smirked at Mikey, who was puttin' his tie back on and complaining about havin' to get it cleaned now that it had Dragon dirt all over it.

"Well, that went well. You wanna try again?"

Mikey grinned and threw an arm around my shoulder. "The night's still young, isn't it?" He jabbed his finger forward. "Back to the bar!"

* * *

**Donatello**

I could do nothing but let myself be pulled along by my captor at first, too dazed to protest. I couldn't believe Leo had thrown me under the bus like that. Whoever this woman was, "friendly" (frightening) as she was, I didn't really want to be dragged off anywhere by her. I adjusted my collar and coughed slightly. "Um, miss, really, I'm kind of—"

"_There_ you are, Don!"

I halted, surprised to hear my name from a female voice, and my kidnapper turned with me.

A young woman stood behind me, and she smiled as she leaned in to kiss me on the cheek. "Just play along," she whispered in my ear as she pulled away.

I was completely and utterly flummoxed.

I glanced at the young woman beside me as she tucked herself against my side possessively, nudging at my arm. Hoping that I wasn't going to be charged with sexual assault, I carefully wound my arm around her waist and settled my hand on her hip, trying to ignore the way every nerve tingled at the contact. I'd never touched a woman like this before. My…rescuer had thick black hair pulled severely into a bun with a pencil stuck through it, a white blouse, a pair of dark slacks…and bright green tennis shoes.

She also barely came up to my shoulder, and was one of the most adorable things I had ever seen.

She placed her hand over mine on her hip in a businesslike manner and glared at the woman still hanging onto my other arm. "Well?" she demanded. "Are you going to get off my boyfriend, or not?"

My kidnapper looked her over, then narrowed her eyes at me, like _I'd_ done something wrong. "Boyfriend?" she repeated, the word dripping with disdain.

"Well, when you asked if I was here with someone, I tried to tell you…" I drifted off awkwardly, not wanting to lie, and gestured between my rescuer and myself, hoping my kidnapper would draw her own conclusions.

Fortunately, she did.

"Fine." She sneered at the two of us and yanked her arm out of mine. "If you want something better, you let me know," she snapped before storming off.

I glanced down to see the woman beside me cocking her head up at me, and removed my arm quickly. I won't lie and say it wasn't warm everywhere her skin had touched mine.

"Well, that was uncalled for, wasn't it?" she remarked, staring off after the other woman detachedly. She glanced up at me and patted my shoulder. "Sorry about that, I realize it was presumptuous."

"It was a life-saver," I said. "Sorry about the…" I gestured awkwardly between my arm and her waist.

She blinked, then smiled, a small expression that curled up only one side of her mouth. "Don't worry about it. At least you didn't try to take advantage of the situation and grope me."

I could feel my ears grow hot at her words. Even beyond the fact that I would never do such a thing, I could just imagine how hard Master Splinter would thrash me if I'd been so disrespectful of a woman. "Um…right. I mean, I wouldn't, and I…" I offered my hand, at a loss. "I'm Don. Don Hamand."

"Nikki Young." She gripped my hand and squeezed it once before letting go. "I came in behind you and your brother, that's how I knew your name, from hearing you talk. I hope I didn't come off as being a stalker." She stepped back, then tapped at the pencil in her hair nervously, with an absentmindedness that told me it was an unconscious habit. "Would you like to join me for a drink?"

"Sure, I…yes, thank you." She led the way up to the bar, ordered a couple drinks, and we sat down quietly, staring at each other. It was comforting to realize that she was just as much at a loss as I was now that the previous situation was over.

She set down her drink and stared at me, her mouth quirked in that same one-sided smile. "It's really rather odd that this is so awkward, considering the fact that we're dating and all."

I laughed hard at that, and the ice was broken. After fumbling through the basic introductions, talking was easier, though Nikki had a wit that left me scrambling to keep up.

"So how old are you?" she asked, chasing an ice cube with her straw.

"21. You?" I blanched. "I mean, if you don't mind me asking?"

"22. You seem old for your age."

I shrugged. "I've…lived through quite a bit, and I had a difficult childhood. It made me, and my brothers, grow up rather quickly."

She nodded absently. "So where do you work? Or are you in college?"

"I did college online. I'm working at…at the Geek Squad."

To my relief, she didn't laugh. "Really? I interned there one summer. What'd you get your degree in?"

"Computer technology and engineering, with a minor in physics."

Nikki blinked, pausing with her glass at her lips. "And you're working for the Geek Squad with an education like that?"

I shrugged, trying not to blush. "I don't have much work experience, so I had to start somewhere."

"Mm." She rested her chin in her hand, cocking her head to the side. "I bet you look cute in your uniform," she said matter-of-factly.

My ears grew hot again.

"So if this is just a jumping-off point, where do you want to work?" she asked.

I spun my glass slowly, watching the condensation pool on the tabletop. "Research and development, technological engineering…I want to create the things people need, to make what's already been made, better. I want to see what all I can create and learn now that I have access to the resources necessary." I bit my lip, chastising myself to not give too much away. "What about you?"

"Well, I graduated early from MIT, and now I'm working at Newton Tech."

"Really?" I recognized the name of April's old place of employment. "My friend used to work there before the name changed, when Baxter Stockman ran it."

"Well, the management is a lot better now." Nikki's eyes flicked down to my shoulder, and she stood to lean forward slightly and smooth my hair over my shoulder, too short to reach across the table otherwise. She met my eyes and flushed before sitting down, her fingers creeping up to tap at the pencil again. "Sorry. It was mussed, and I just…I have OCD," she said bluntly. "It—it's mild, not like in _Monk_ or anything, but I still can't help myself with the small things." She stared at her drink. "And now I'm rambling. This is way more than you probably want to know."

I couldn't help but be charmed by the way she spoke whatever she was thinking. It wasn't like Mikey, who would share whatever came to mind regardless of how inappropriate it might be, it was more like a stream of consciousness that was fascinating to follow. And I'll admit, the idea of finding someone who was more awkward than I was in a social situation was relieving, even as I felt bad for taking comfort from her distress. I hesitated before laying a hand on one of hers, hoping I wasn't overstepping my bounds. "It's alright, I don't scare easy; I've lived outside of society up until a month ago, so normal to me is a subjective term."

She cocked her head to the side again, a trait I was quickly finding endearing. "I'm entirely too blunt," she responded, curling her fingers around mine.

"I'm impatient with people who can't keep up with me mentally."

"I sleepwalk sometimes."

I barely blinked at the topic change and matched her admission for admission. "I hardly sleep," I countered.

"Dogs or cats?"

I thought of Klunk, so much like his owner: annoying, yet endearing. "Cats. Have you ever read any classics?"

"Jane Eyre, the Odyssey, and Moby Dick. Are you a messy person?"

"Functionally. Clean room, cluttered work area, but I can find everything. Smoking…?"

"Is a waste of time, money, and brain cells; there are cheaper, nicer, and cleaner ways to kill yourself," she finished.

I smiled. "You're fascinating."

She pursed her lips, her eyes contemplative. "You're an enigma. Would you like to go out sometime?"

Her question made me freeze. The thought of someone being interested in me was…mind-boggling. I tried to recover. "Well, apparently we're already dating, but yes, I would. Dinner at Luigi's?"

Some tension seemed to drain out of her, and she meticulously laced her fingers through mine. "Wednesday is lasagna night there."

"Sounds good to me."

By that point, I was willing to forgive Leo for abandoning me. She was so intriguing and intelligent, and she kept knocking me off-balance in a way that half-maddened me, even as I seemed to confuse her. We spent the rest of the night talking, trying to figure each other out, and sharing stories and more than a few drinks. By the time Raph found me, a couple hours later, we were discussing the latest theories regarding medicine and bionic limb development.

Raph strode up, looking oddly calm and satisfied. "Hey, Brainiac, we're headin' out. You ready?" he asked, tugging on my hair.

I glanced at my watch, surprised at the time, and nodded. "I think I'm done for the night," I told Nikki apologetically.

Raph glanced between us. "Who's your friend?" he asked, his voice interested.

I sent him a look, hoping he wouldn't try anything. "Raph, this is Nikki. Nikki, this is my older brother Raph."

Nikki stared at Raph long enough that he shifted and straightened. "You don't look related," she said finally, shifting her gaze to me. "Were you both adopted?"

My stomach tightened briefly. Shell, she was perceptive. I could feel Raph tense beside me. "Yeah, we were."

She glanced again at Raph. "Your father must be a very selfless man, then. I'm glad you both have each other."

Raph and I looked at each other, and I shrugged minutely. "Um, yeah, us too," Raph muttered awkwardly.

"I think I'm done as well," Nikki said. She grabbed a napkin and the pencil from her hair and wrote something down before folding the napkin precisely and handing it to me. "So I'll see you Wednesday? At seven?"

"Definitely." I glanced at the napkin and saw her number before sliding it into my pocket. "Do you want me to walk you home?"

She shook her head as she grabbed her purse. "My cousin's the bouncer, so I'll be going back with him. Thank you, though." She bit her lip, then reached out and smoothed my hair again before moving away. A second later she turned around to tuck the tag of Raph's shirt back under his collar matter-of-factly. "Goodnight. It was nice to meet you."

"Back at ya," Raph replied. He leaned an arm on my shoulder as we watched Nikki walk away. "She's cute," he commented, glancing at me. "Seems a little squirrelly, though."

I elbowed him in the ribs, absurdly defensive of someone I'd just met. "And we aren't?"

"Point," he allowed. "So, you wanna see who Leo's been talkin' to all night?"

I perked up in interest. Leo had found someone? Or had someone found him? "Sure."

Raph led me out to the patio, where I saw Leo standing with a brunette that I thought I recognized as one of the bartenders. Raph pulled me behind a nearby pillar to listen, ignoring my protests.

"Well, it's time for me to start closing up. Here's my number."

I didn't need to see Leo's face to know the bewildered look he had to be wearing. "Oh. Um, I—"

There was a soft laugh. "Don't worry, sweetheart, it's not for a date. You're sweet, and obviously adorable, but I'm not good for you; I ruin nice guys like you. Plus you seem convinced that I'm going to either eat you or molest you, and as much as I'd like to make that last fear a reality, I've got a friend who you'd be perfect for instead. So give me a call and I'll set up a date for you two."

I craned my neck around carefully to look at Leo, and he looked flabbergasted. "A date? Um—"

"Mimi's a nice girl, I promise you'll like her." The woman leaned forward to kiss Leo on the cheek, and swatted him on the backside as she left. "Stay out of trouble, da Vinci."

I whistled lowly once she was out of sight. No wonder Leo looked intimidated. That was a lot of woman to deal with. Raph snickered as he led the way out from behind the pillar.

Leo looked between the paper in his hand and us. "What just happened?" he asked faintly.

"You got shanghaied," I said sympathetically, patting him on the shoulder.

Leo made a miserable face. "I am so sorry I left you. So sorry."

I laughed and waved it off. "Trust me, it ended well. I'll tell you about it later. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, it's just…" Leo gestured helplessly, finally just pointing emphatically at the paper in his hands. "_What_."

It both was and wasn't a question, so I just settled for patting his shoulder again. "Did you at least have a good time?"

"I…yes," Leo answered, looking thoughtful. "I'm still not sure what just happened, but yeah, it was…it was nice. Rae is a very nice person."

"Rae, huh? Hell, she can ruin me, if she wants," Raph rumbled, looking in the direction Leo's "friend" had gone.

"You're a pig," I said absently. "It'll be okay, Leo; one date won't kill you, even if it's a blind date."

"Hey, so are we ready to go?"

I turned to see Mikey ambling up from the bathroom. "All present and accounted for."

"So what's the final verdict? Good time?"

I thought of Nikki and nodded. "I'm…going out with someone next week."

Mikey grinned. "She cute?"

"Yeah, a little weird, though," Raph answered before I could, ignoring me as I elbowed him again.

"Score. Nice one, Donnie."

"What about you?" I asked. Given their personalities, and how shy they _weren't_, I had expected to see Raph and Mikey either with or chasing ladies still.

Mikey folded his arms behind his head. "Well, Raph and I got tricked by some hot twins, and they led us to some Purple Dragons who tried to mug us, so we got some drinks _and_ we got to deal out a good ass-kicking," he related with a grin. "Leo?"

Raph shoved Leo's shoulder, looking oddly proud of him. "Romeo here got hit on—figuratively _and_ literally—by the bartender we saw earlier, and she's gonna hook him up with a friend of hers."

"Niiiice." Mikey gave a cheesy double thumbs-off to go with his impression of the Fonze. "I totally declare this an awesomely successful night," Mikey said with an odd, beer-tinged finality. He slung his arm around Leo's shoulders and peered at his face, then glanced at me. "How long till the shock wears off, do you think?"

I absently checked my pocket for Nikki's napkin again. "He'll be fine by tomorrow; just let him sleep it off."

"Not all women are like that, right?" Leo asked dazedly as Mikey steered him along towards the exit.

Raph grinned. "Just the fun ones."

"You did great, Leo," Mikey said cheerfully, snatching the card from Leo's hand, then handing it back after looking it over. "You totally need to call her back in a few days, once you're not freaked out."

"Save that number," Raph said seriously as we headed back to the subway. "Leo can take the friend, and I'll see if the bartender's still single."

We were quiet on the ride home, and I settled into my seat contentedly, buzzing pleasantly from the alcohol. Mikey was talking quietly with Leo, who actually seemed fairly calm, giving him something that sounded like a pep talk, and Raph was humming absently along with the subway music, a couple snatches of notes here and there. It was oddly peaceful, despite the bustle and crowds thronging New York that night, and as we piled off the subway, it was amazing to me how much it felt like we finally fit. We said goodnight to each other and ambled off to our respective apartments. When we got back, Raph and I dropped down onto the couch, just sitting together quietly. I was tired and thinking fondly of my bed, but it was rare that Raph and I got along so well, and I wanted to enjoy the sense of camaraderie a little longer.

"It's kind of weird, isn't it?"

I rolled my head along the back of the couch to glance at Raph. "What is?"

"How well things went tonight," Raph murmured, oddly quiet as he stared at the ceiling. "You know, Leo agreein' to go and actually enjoyin' himself."

"Mm, a little, yeah. I'm proud of him for trying it."

"Yeah."

"Is that all that's bugging you?"

Raph shifted, something like confusion or frustration flaring on his face. "No. It's just…it was easy, tonight, to just spend time with you guys. To hang out with Leo an' just…just be brothers."

"And you're surprised by that?"

"…Yeah."

I nodded, staring at the ceiling as I thought. It made sense, Raph being who he was, and our past being what it was. No one was used to things between Raph and Leo being easy, Raph and Leo least of all. Raph was used to fighting for things, in order to gain ground against Leo or gain recognition from him. He was used to getting along with Leo only after conflict, either between the two of them, or, in the case of when Leo was ambushed, conflict with our enemies. Given that, it was understandable that Raph would feel oddly now; how could he be anything _but_ off-balance, when what he was used to pushing against was no longer pushing back?

"You think it'll get any easier?"

I hesitated. "Eventually? Yes. Right away…I don't know. You're both so out of practice being brothers to each other, _just_ brothers, not competitors or whatever else. Because of that, I think it's going to be difficult for you two to get back to where you were when we were kids, in terms of liking each other and knowing how to spend time together other than when you're fighting."

Raph's eyes were dark as he stared at the ceiling. "Sometimes I wonder if we _can_ get back to that, Don. Too much has happened, both to us an' between us, an' we've changed too much."

"Well, you can always change some more, and if there are changes that can pull you apart, there have to be changes that can bring you back together," I mused, my mind trying to apply science to the situation in hopes of a more exact answer for him. "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."

Raph snorted and flicked me in the side of the head. "That didn't make any sense."

I could have sworn it did, but after a minute, I couldn't remember how. "Maybe not," I agreed sleepily.

Another soft snort. "I wish Master Splinter could see this. You all boozed up an' me talkin' all sensitive and crap. It'd blow his mind."

I thought about protesting, but I found myself agreeing instead. "Maybe. As much as—" I fought a yawn and lost. "As much as he wants us to change, I don't know that he expects it to actually happen. Y'know, in terms of the lessons he gave us."

Raph glanced over at me. "What'd he tell you to work on?"

"I'm supposed to stand up for myself and learn to—to relate to people better. More." I frowned, trying to figure out which word I wanted, then gave it up as a bad job. "Yeah. You?"

"Temper."

"Shocker."

Raph swatted me for the sarcasm. "Shaddup." He let his hand drop, frowning at the far wall suddenly. "There were times when I was so freakin' pissed at him, you know."

I blinked, my alcohol-irrigated brain struggling to process the topic change. "What? Who?"

"Master Splinter."

"Oh. Pissed at him for what?"

"For how he raised us," Raph said, his voice surprisingly contemplative, rather than angry, despite his expression. "The way we were taught to trust only each other, to depend on each other, care for an' watch out for an' look after each other. I didn't always want you guys. There were times that you guys felt more like the links in a chain that was holding me back than the links that kept me connected to the only things I really had in the world. Leo especially."

I nodded. It wasn't surprising to hear that; once we'd really understood how different we were, and just how badly humans reacted to our kind of different, Raph had handled it the worst. Back then, his bitterness had been almost a palpable force, and when Leo would impede Raph's late-night Dragon hunts—his only outlet against some of the people who would never accept us—Leo became another obvious target. Leo just ignored them; if Master Splinter said to stay away from them, that was enough for him. I turned to machines, finding them easier to understand than humans, and Mikey…Mikey turned to superheroes, idolizing the best of humans that weren't quite humans, but who everyone still loved for what they did. His ideal.

"We hadn't been runnin' around topside for that long when I looked at him one day an' realized just how damn messed up he was," Raph continued quietly, a hint of bitterness creeping into his voice, "just how screwed up he'd become from carryin' us around all his life. It was like…like I could see all the jagged spaces inside him, where he used to be, but where he'd cut himself out to make room for us an' Sensei. An' I realized that eventually, one day, he was just gonna fall apart, an' for a while, I was glad. It was time Fearless got knocked off his damn pedestal…'course, I didn't realize that we were the ones to put 'im up there, not at first. Then I did, an' I realized that if he fell apart, someone was going to have to put him back together. I didn't want it to be me."

"You thought that?" The idea surprised me. I saw how much of a burden leadership was for Leo, but I'd never really thought that he'd fail at it, or anything. He was…he was Leo. Leading and excelling was what he did.

"Yeah. And I knew I was part of what was breakin' him, and I didn't want any more guilt on my conscience. Besides, as messed up as I was, who was I to fix someone else? And…and if I admitted it, said 'yeah, he needs help, I'll step up', then I'd be admittin' that my big brother, the one I used to think _was_ perfect an' Fearless an' all that other shit we piled on him, was really just as screwed up as I was. I didn't want that. We needed someone in the damn family to be perfect an' strong, to take Sensei's place when he died, and it sure as hell wasn't gonna be me. I spent a lotta my time pissed at myself for how much I'd hurt you guys, how I tore into Leo, once I realized just how much damage I'd done. And that was just as me, not as bein' the leader."

Raph shifted, settling deeper into the couch. "So there was no way I was gonna step up. I figured Leo was the best turtle for the job, much as I hated to admit it, which meant he had to be perfect so that I wouldn't have to be. An' I knew he couldn't be perfect with anythin' of me in 'im, so I started takin' it back, takin' myself back from him. I thought it was the best thing t'do, at the time; I just kept messin' up and makin' things worse, and I'd poison Leo if I let him keep me as close as he kept you an' Mikey. I make mistakes, I go for the dark places of town; that's just who I am. I couldn't drag Leo into that, so I pulled away, took myself back, pushed away his protection. I thought if I did that, took me back, some of him could come back an' fill the space in him that I used to fill. Somehow, doin' that made sense, at the time."

I tried to force myself to sober up as I struggled to process Raph's words. This was more talking than he'd done in years, and things I never even knew he thought about, much less thought he'd ever share. I wanted to be able to really listen and answer. In a way, though, what he was saying made sense. Raph had always been hard on himself, and it made a kind of sense that he'd see himself as part of the problem. "You know he never thought of you like that, right?"

"Maybe. He thought I was a problem, though."

"He worried," I corrected him. After so many nights of staying up late talking to Leo, or seeing him waiting up for Raph at hours when even _I_ was calling it a night, I knew about this even if Raph's other words confused me. "He didn't understand you, and he worried that you'd get hurt. And you never let him protect you, which he also didn't understand. And Leo doesn't like not understanding a situation, so…he got mad at you, and you got mad at him." I glared at him blearily. "And neither of you ever thought to just sit down and explain yourselves, so it just continued."

"Easier said than done, Donnie," Raph muttered. "How the hell were we supposed to explain ourselves when _we_ didn't even understand what the hell was eatin' at us?"

I had to concede that point.

"Anyway, it didn't work like I thought it would. Leo had been everyone an' everything but himself for so long that he didn't remember who he was…he didn't have anythin' to fill that space with. An' so he filled it with whatever he could find: more trainin', more of Sensei, as much more of you guys as you'd let him have, whatever. But…I don't think that was enough. I didn't realize I took up so much room in 'im, but I don't think all of that was enough to plug up the holes. So then the trainin', and the worryin', and all the responsibility…that started to fill in the rest of it. An' it just kept gettin' worse. He wasn't the Leo we'd known anymore; he was the Leo he had to be. An' now he's still gonna be doin' it."

_That_ I didn't get at all. "But that's over. The—the fights, the clan stuff…that's behind us."

Raph just looked at me with his eyebrows raised, and I didn't like the look I saw in his eyes, like he was humoring me by letting me think that. "Sure it is. Anyway, now that he doesn't even have that, what the hell do you think he's gonna do? Now that he thinks he's gotta let us go, he's gonna go for whatever he can that'll fill him up, 'cause he still doesn't frickin' know how to be himself, rather than what everyone else needs. He's tryin', I think, but we've gotta keep an eye on him, or he's just gonna let Mikey lead him around 'cause it'll be easier that way. He'll just let trainin' keep carryin' him along, and he'll let his new job take the place of all his old responsibility. We gotta break him of that damn stupid dependence, not let him just replace old stuff with new stuff."

I tried to process all of that, wondering how long Raph had spent thinking about it. I noticed, though, that there was still some kind of intention to detach himself from Leo.

"What if what he needs is his brothers? _All_ of them?"

Raph's face started to close up, despite what he'd said about wanting to get back to getting along with Leo. For Raph, there was always a fear of being held too closely.

"You're being just like he used to, assuming you know what's best for someone else," I said ruthlessly, refusing to let him pull away. What Leo needed was Raph's way of challenging him. Mikey's support and enthusiasm would help him, but if Leo wasn't challenged to be his own person, he'd just move from being the leader to staying in Mikey's shadow, letting our little brother lead him in this world that Mikey understood, but Leo didn't. Giving Mikey this chance to take the lead would be good for him, but he'd never push Leo too far forward for fear of pushing him away. And Raph needed a chance to be a leader too, so he could really come into his own, and so he could see what Leo struggled with for so long.

And me? I needed them to stop being so mulish, so that I could do something other than be a peacekeeper, other than having to try and fix my brothers when they wouldn't fix themselves.

"If you don't stop pulling away, thinking you're poisoning him—which you never _were_—he's going to think it's because you don't need him or want him anymore," I said bluntly. "That's just how Leo thinks. So then, if you're right, he'll go and try and find someone else who _does_ need or want him. And I think you're right, in that he needs to learn to be himself before he's in any shape to be anything else for someone new."

Raph looked over at me, eyes hooded, and it was odd to see that Raph could make his expressive human face just as stony and unreadable as his turtle face. "What are you thinking?" I pressed.

"I'm thinkin' that it's a miracle we made it to twenty-one, as screwed up and frickin' interdependent as we all are."

I winced. Asking Raph what he thought was always a dangerous thing to do; he didn't believe in softening the truth, and sometimes you didn't want to see things the way he did, as clearly as he did. I knew he understood, as I did, that that interdependence was necessary, was possibly all that had kept us alive. Us against the world was painful and hard, but we were still a formidable force when we were together, and we needed the acceptance we had in each other, since we'd never thought to get it anywhere else. I knew that deep down, he knew that too.

But I also knew that he lamented how badly things had gone sometimes, lamented how we'd all been slightly warped by how we'd been raised, and regretted everything we'd missed out on. And because he regretted it, he wished for another way, was _sure_ there was another way, a better way that we could have been raised. And because of that, he didn't want to hear the truth that our desperate clinging to and dependence on each other was probably all that had kept us alive and sane. He didn't want to hear that, warped as we were with all our weaknesses and idiosyncrasies, this was as well-adjusted as we'd had any chance of being.

As readily as Raph would face some truths, there were others he would ignore with all of his strength. And who could blame him? The fact that this was as well-adjusted as we could have hoped to be was an ugly truth that no one would want to face.

"As much as we're tied together, Raph…any knot can be undone given enough time. But is it really so bad to have people you're so close to? Even birds have feet, Raph," I pointed out, hoping the odd saying would reach him. He could be extremely intuitive when he actually bit his tongue and was patient long enough to try, as he'd shown me tonight. "Even though they have the freedom of the sky and the ability to travel and live almost anywhere, even they have to stop flying at some point, and come back to earth and rest. Otherwise they'd just fly and fly until they burnt out and died, all for lack of the kind of connections that ground them and give them a chance to rest and find shelter when their freedom has exhausted them."

He stared at me long enough that I almost thought he'd gone to sleep with his eyes open, until a familiar, tired smirk lifted his mouth. "I get it, Donnie."

"Do you?" I didn't want to push, because it was so easy to cross Raph's ever-changing boundaries and suddenly go too far, but I wanted us to be whole individually as much as he did…while still being brothers. "You're not going to run from this?"

Raph looked at me a little longer, looking older than he should, before dropping a large, heavy hand on my head. "I've said it before, haven't I? We don't run from anyone or anything."

I could see the acceptance in his face. It would chafe him, and he might balk at the necessity occasionally, but he would try and be there, would keep trying to repair the tentative bridge between him and Leo. Our oldest brother would collapse if all his supports were removed at once, so until he was strong enough to stand alone, we had to carry him like he'd carried us. And hopefully, through doing so, Raph would develop the patience that he needed, and rekindle the friendship I don't think he'd admit he missed having with Leo.

Raph needed his brother back almost as much as Leo did, because he needed someone who understood what it was like to be restrained and held down, held back, even if their restraints and cages had taken different forms. I couldn't understand him like Leo could, because I'd accepted the restrictions in our life fairly easily, so I'd never really had anything to rail against or be burdened by like anger and responsibility had burdened Raph and Leo. Mikey couldn't understand him either, because Mikey and anger were like oil and water; he ignored boundaries, dealt with them by subsisting on dreams of the days when those boundaries would disappear.

All our musings had left a bad taste in my mouth. Raph's words about it being a miracle that we'd made it this far were distressingly accurate, the more I thought about them. I stood, hoping I could shake off some of this anxiety and melancholy once I'd gotten some sleep. I gripped Raph's shoulder for a minute and said goodnight quietly, leaving him on the couch with his thoughts as I headed to bed to grapple with my own.

* * *

**A/N:** And that's that. I am very fond of this chapter (all 37 pages of it), and I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Hopefully I've managed to balance everyone pretty well, too, because I want to make sure each of the guys get as equal a measure of focus as possible. I know it's been pretty Leo-heavy in the past few chapters, but that's because he's got the most growing to do, and because how he changes will affect his brothers, just as their changes will affect him. I had fun doing some psychoanalysis on the guys, if you couldn't tell; psychology really interests me, and I hope I did a decent job of giving you guys a different, deeper look into the guys' past and how the way they were raised had to have affected them on multiple levels.

Alright, that's enough rambling for now. On to the next chapter, which will hopefully be finished sooner! I will warn you guys now that I'm starting another semester in about a week, and a busy one; I'm a senior now! (ACK!) I'll do my best to still keep up with updates, though, and I'll make up as much ground as I can during the breaks. Forge onward! Thanks so much for all your support, and please review! Until next time, take care.


	9. Chapter 9

_Disclaimer: Still not mine._

I am so sorry for disappearing off the face of the planet for the past few months. I can't say anything that I haven't said before, but once again, school ended up being a lot crazier than I expected, especially senior year. Between my capstone project, finals, and job-hunting (which has actually been successful, thankfully)…this school year has been crazy. I've been really swamped, and I've been working two part-time jobs this past year as well. Even my breaks have been busy, which just seems unfair. But fortunately, it's finally over, and I am officially done with college forever! I really am sorry about having left this story un-updated for so long, but it just hasn't been possible to find the time to work on the new chapters and do them justice. If I'd known that it'd be this long before I could update, I would have put this on hiatus rather than making you guys think I'd abandoned it. I promise, I'll never abandon this one; I've had the whole idea written in my head for ages, and I'll get it written one way or another. :)

So to those of you who are still hanging with me, thanks so much, once again, for your patience. I'm so sorry to have made you wait this long, and rest assured that I've already started on the next chapter, and I SWEAR it'll be posted quicker than this one. Hopefully within a month; though I am starting a job on Monday (ack!), it's only part-time, which will still take up less time than school. And since I won't have homework or papers or projects ever again, I'll actually have all my evenings and weekends to work on this, which I've missed. So we're back into the swing of things, and thanks and sorry again. Please enjoy!

* * *

**Raph**

The day after we went out to the bar, I spent most of the mornin' lyin' in bed. Not from a hangover—heh, I could drink easily twice as much as I had last night an' still be fine—just…thinkin'.

I was officially a workin', productive member of society, an'…it was fine. Nothin' really happened. I got up each mornin', went to work, fixed some cars, talked some shit, an' then headed home to see my geeky brother, go to bed an' repeat the whole process the next day.

Shell, I was becomin' _domesticated_.

I mean, the changes hadn't been bad, don't get me wrong; it was—hell, it was nice to go around each day without worryin' about gettin' caught or killed, to be able to go around during the day, period. An' bein' human…I was finally gettin' to see what it was like to have a real life, where my biggest concerns were bills an' jackasses in the city.

But…was that gonna be it? The most excitin' thing I'd done all week was goin' out to the bar with my brothers. No aliens, no Foot fights, no patrols, just…just a 9-to-5 job an' bein' a New Yorker.

I snorted an' got up, rubbin' my face an' throwin' on some pants. Thinkin' about this crap wasn't gonna help me, it was just gonna make me antsy. What the heck was my problem, anyway? All my life I wanted a chance to be normal, an' then I started complainin' as soon as I got it?

I shuffled out to the kitchen to find some breakfast, whackin' Don lightly on the back of the head as I passed him at the table. "Mornin'."

He grunted a little into his glass of water. "Morning."

I couldn't help snickerin' a little. "You feelin' alright?"

I could feel his glare even with my back turned. "Peachy. You're an ass, you know that, right?"

"You're just jealous that you can't hold your liquor," I said with a snort, cavin' in and chuckin' him the ibuprofen as I passed it. "You want anythin'?"

Brainiac grunted a thank you. "To move as little and slowly as possible, and for all noises in this apartment to stay at or below 50 decibels."

I leaned back against the sink an' started workin' on some cereal. "So today probably wouldn't be a good time to invite Mikey over for some Guitar Hero?"

Don looked up to glare at me. "Do it and you'll get faulty wiring and broken electronics and no first aid for the rest of your _life_," he promised.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Alright, princess, I'll try an' keep it to a dull roar."

He snorted and sunk a little further onto the table. "Not a princess," he muttered. "And what's got you so chipper this morning, anyway?"

Chipper? Seriously? Who even said that anymore? I shrugged. "I'm not chipper, just…thinkin'."

"Don't hurt yourself," he mumbled, either to me, himself or the table, I'm not sure. "What're you thinking about?"

It was weird to hear the same question he'd asked last night, but during the day this time; I was used to talks like that stayin' in the dark. "Just…" I paused to take a bite of cereal, wonderin' if I really wanted to get into this with him, then figured, what the hell. We'd done the soul-searchin' last night, why not first thing in the mornin', too? "Is this really it? Just the jobs an' daily life an' everything? It's not that bad, don't get me wrong, it's just…Donnie, it feels like a lie; like we're just pretending all the crazy stuff that we _know_ is just outside the building an' the frickin' atmosphere doesn't exist anymore. Are we just supposed to forget it?"

Don sighed into the tabletop an' levered himself up slowly. "In a word? Yeah, kind of. Unless we want to blow our cover, we can't exactly have it both ways; that only works in Mikey's comic books."

"Hey, Nobody's a cop an' a vigilante; it works well enough for him."

"Probably precisely because he _is_ a cop; he can turn people off of his own trail. He's also a lot more subtle than our excursions tend to be." Don set his glass down an' stood, headin' back to his room. "Just…give it a chance, Raph; more than just a couple weeks."

I made a face as he shut his door. Give it a chance? What the shell was that supposed to mean? Just keep up the good work 'til I got complacent and used to it?

Nothin' brought home how different Donnie an' I were quite like talkin' to him.

I finished my cereal and putzed around the apartment for a while, doin' a little work with my weights an' sai, but I was just…antsy. I needed to get out for a bit, do somethin' where I didn't have to think, 'cause the more thinkin' I did, the more I was startin' to feel like…like there was somethin' big missin'. An' I didn't need that this early into the game. Casey's words about tryin' to treat Leo like a brother an' just hang out came to mind, so I picked up the phone an' punched in his number, wonderin' if he an' Mikey were feelin' as bad as Donnie this morning.

"_Hello?"_

I grinned; Leo's voice was a little quiet, but he didn't sound like he wanted to die. "Hey, Leo. It's Raph."

"_Hey. How's it going?"_

"Eh, fine. How're you feelin' this morning?"

Leo huffed a laugh. _"Sorry to disappoint, but I'm fine. Rae was a lot more conservative in recommending drinks than you've ever been."_

I laughed. "That's weird, considerin' how hard she was goin' after you last night."

There was a slight chokin' sound from the other line an' I grinned; he was so easy. _"Thanks for that_," he said sourly. _"So what's up?"_

"Nothin' much. I was just wonderin' if you were busy."

"_No. Is something wrong?"_

I rolled my eyes. "No, nothing's wrong. I was just wondering' if you might wanna go out for a run."

The line went silent. _"Sure,"_ Leo said slowly, soundin' like he didn't know what to say. _"I'm meeting Hitoshi-san later to go to my interview, but yeah, that sounds good. Where?"_

"Central Park?"

"_Sure. I'll meet you there in ten minutes."_

"Sounds good."

I hung up and chucked the phone at my bed, tryin' not to get pissed. Leo shouldn't sound like frickin' Christmas had come early, just because I had asked him to hang out. It was just me. He shouldn't sound surprised that I called 'im, either. It was pissin' me off, but I had no one to blame but myself. But still, if he was all about hangin' out, why didn't he just call me?

I grabbed my shoes an' got changed. I knew why. He was still stuck on "givin' us space" and not crowdin' us, me especially. It pissed me off, the way Leo tried to freakin' tiptoe around me. Suddenly he was goin' from never backin' down when I'd get in his face to bein' all "sure, yeah, whatever you want."

I was gonna talk to him about that. I'd even try an' do it without yellin'. Workin' on my temper was goin' slowly, to say the least. I'd cussed out some idiot for blarin' his car speakers in front of our buildin' just last night, an' that was just some random punk. Leo was…Leo, and he'd always removed the lid on my temper faster'n anyone or anything else.

Once I'd gotten my stuff, I stopped by to poke my head in Don's room. "Hey, I'm goin' on a run with Leo down at the park. You wanna come?"

Don just kept tappin' away at the computer, closin' a couple windows. "Hm? Oh, no thanks."

I frowned slightly. "You sure? You haven't been out much lately."

"I'm fine, Raph. We just went out last night, unless you forgot."

Don't get pissed, don't get pissed. It was probably just the hangover talkin'. "Look, Don, I respect you stickin' up for yourself, but even "normal" people exercise an' spend time with their families. Last night was the first time since we got turned human that you went out with any of us to do _anythin'_ other than grocery shoppin' or dinner. Going for a run doesn't automatically alert everyone in New York that you used to be a giant freakin' ninja turtle."

Don slammed his hand down on the desk an' jerked around to glare at me. "Dammit, Raph, stop insinuating that I'm ashamed of you!"

"Not us, just our trainin'." I was baitin' him, I admit it, but I couldn't understand why Don was so against trainin'. Sure, I wasn't doin' regular practices like Mikey said he an' Leo were, but I was still workin' through some _kata_ with my sai occasionally. But Don hadn't so much as touched his bo since we'd moved in, an' I wanted to know why. Whatever it was, it was obviously a touchy subject.

"I'm not ashamed of our past," Don gritted out. "I'm merely compartmentalizing, so things don't overlap and I'm not responsible for screwing things up."

I could feel my hackles go up. "What, and Leo an' I _would_ be? You're doin' the same thing Leo is, takin' things to the extremes. Keepin' your head down doesn't mean you've only gotta practice Ninjutsu in a locked room with the blinds pulled. As long as we're not chargin' into Foot HQ to pick a fight, what the hell's the problem? Better to not get rusty, if you ask me." I sighed an' settled my shoulders, still eyein' Don as he glared at me. After years of bein' hardheaded, I could tell when someone else wasn't gonna listen, so I turned and headed out of his room. "Look, do what you want, but it'd be nice if you spent even half the time you spend on your computer with your family—runnin', sparrin', or even just freakin' visiting."

I heard the door to Don's room slam as I left the apartment. I probably could've handled that better, but at least I hadn't flown off the handle; much as I was tryin', that was all I could hope for sometimes. Of course, now I was gonna to talk to Leo, so hey, there was still a chance of me goin' off on someone.

The day was still young, an' all.

Much as I wanted to go back an' demand some real answers from the little nerd, I'd shrugged off the incident with Don by the time I got to the park. I knew I'd need to talk to him again later, but if I thought about it anymore, I'd just end up blowin' up at Leo.

Things were a hell of a lot easier when I just went with my temper.

Leo was waitin' on a park bench by the time I got there. I walked up behind him an' messed up his hair, snortin' as he jumped. "Hey. You ready?"

Leo made a face an' tried to brush his hair out of his face. "I've just been waiting on you."

We headed off down one of the paths, not talkin'. It was pretty nice out, hot but decent, an' I was enjoyin' the quiet when I noticed that Leo kept glancin' at me out of the corner of his eye. I grit my teeth an' tried to ignore it, but that didn't last for more than a couple more steps. "Knock it off, Leo."

"Sorry."

And that was it. I rammed into him with my shoulder, pushin' him off the path and comin' to a stop in front of him. "Okay, what the _hell_ is up with you recently? You're a freakin' pushover in everythin' lately. Seriously, I could've called you up an' been like "hey, let's go beat up an old lady and steal her stuff," an' you'd just be all "sure, sounds good." _Damn_, Leo, did you lose your backbone along with your shell?"

Leo stared at me for a minute, then laughed breathlessly, shakin' his head. "Wow. Time was, you used to wish I _was_ a pushover."

I growled. "Leo…"

"I'm kidding." He sighed and swiped his hair outta his face. "Look, Raph, I'm sorry if I've upset you, but I'm not really sure what I've done."

"You cave all the time! Do somethin' other than say yes all the damn time."

Leo grinned slowly. "No."

I could feel my face growin' thunderous as Leo started to laugh.

"Oh, come on, Raph, that was funny, admit it." He shook his head an' huffed. "Alright, fine, let's be serious." He shifted a little, lookin' off to the side. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I'm a little out of my depth here, and as such, I'm okay with letting someone else take the lead? Or that maybe I keep saying yes to the things that you suggest because they're things I want to do or think I should try?"

I took a deep breath. "I get that, an' that's fine, but why the hell are you so—so damn tentative around me? That's what's annoyin' the hell outta me."

Leo winced. "I…don't want to push. I know how much you like your space, and I want you to be able to enjoy the freedom you've got here, that you've always wanted. I—I don't quite know yet how to be in your lives and not be an interference in them, so I figured it was better if I just let you initiate everything."

I don't know how the hell the things we thought even made sense to us, 'cause they obviously didn't make sense to each other.

"Look, I ain't gonna break, Leo. And—hell, I'm sorry if I made ya feel like you're just interferin', but I don't know how to be just a brother t'you any more than you know how to be one to me. So if you keep waitin' for me to kick things off, you're gonna be waitin' a while an' we're never gonna get anywhere. So just…stop dancin' around. If you wanna do something, say so. It—" I grit my teeth. Dammit, this was awkward. "It'd be nice to just get to hang out, alright? Last night was fun, and it's stupid that it's basically one of the only times we've hung out."

Leo watched me for a minute, then nodded. "Yeah, it was fun. Okay. I'm sorry for underestimating you; as much as I've pushed in the past, I ought to know you don't break easily. It's just…any time I pushed, it seemed like I was pushing too far, so I just didn't know where the boundaries were. We'll—we'll work on it."

"Yeah." I stepped back onto the path an' picked up the pace, hopin' that we wouldn't talk anymore if we didn't have the breath for it. I think what I missed most was the way we used to just understand what the other was thinkin' when we were kids; I never had to deal with any of this damn talkin' an' feelings crap, 'cause we already knew what was goin' on with each other.

Once we'd gotten past the awkward stage, it was really…alright to be out there, an' we ran for a couple miles without talkin', just spendin' time together. I couldn't help grinnin' a little, rememberin' the times we'd gotten into so much shit in the tunnels an' run from it like this.

I was surprised to realize how much I'd missed it.

"So how's…your job going?" Leo panted after a few more minutes. I didn't know if he thought I was still pissed an' wanted some easy conversation, or if he was really that interested. Prob'ly both.

I swerved around a lady pushin' a stroller. "It's great. Everyone's pretty…easy to get along with. Well…'cept one guy, but—he's an entertainin' asshole."

"That's…good, I guess."

We slowed to a walk after we'd done about five miles, breathin' hard. I led the way over to a bench an' sat down with a curse. It was disgustin', bein' tired after even only a month off; hell, patrols used to be way more than five miles. I'd have to get my ass back in gear before I embarrassed myself.

"So how are things going with you and Don?"

I snorted an' shook my head. "He's wrapped up in his job an' just spends all the rest of his time on the computer, doin' who knows what. Basically, I hardly see 'im anymore. I called 'im on it, tried to get him to come out with us today, an' he got pissed."

Leo raised an eyebrow as he glanced over at me. "He got pissed, just like that?"

I couldn't help grinnin' a little. Leo always _could_ call me on my bullshit. "I might've said somethin'."

"Oh geez. What kind of something?"

"That he's too worried about keepin' his head down, an' there's a difference between bein' careful not to show too much of what you can do an' bein' ashamed to show anythin' at all."

"Geez, Raph…" Leo ran a hand over his face. "That's disgusting," he muttered absently, grimacin' at the sweat on his palm before wipin' it off on his shorts. "Raph, you know that was completely the wrong thing to say, right?"

I raised my arms overhead an' stretched, makin' a face. "Yeah, it might not've been the best way to go about it."

"Try _definitely_ not. Look, you're being surprisingly patient with me; why can't you be patient with Don?"

"'Cause unlike you, he's not even tryin' to get out more."

"He's going out on a date," Leo pointed out awkwardly.

I rolled my eyes. "So he's gonna be interactin' with _one_ person _one_ time next week. You're right, Leo, that's a lotta effort right there."

Leo sighed. "Don wants this space, this division of world spheres, and he's got good reason; if we did mix things too much, it's likely that things _would_ boil over and we wouldn't be safe here any longer. Just give him some time. After he sees that things aren't going to fall apart right away, I think he'll realize it's safe to bring out that part of our past. And if his…_date_, um…"

"Nikki," I supplied.

"—Nikki, if she takes a serious interest in him and is receptive to that facet of our life, that might help to draw him out too. Raph, he's just afraid of jinxing it. But he's smart; Don's always analyzed everyone and everything, and now that you've brought it up, I don't think it'll be too long before he considers what you accused him of, even if only to try and refute it to himself. And if he still decides to lay aside that aspect of our life, well…it's his choice.

I couldn't help gaping a little. "What, and you'd just let 'im?" The idea of bein' that unprepared was just—ridiculous. As much as I'd envied normal people their safe little lives, I'd always kinda gloated in the fact that I'd never be helpless in a dark alley like them; I'd always be prepared, always know how to defend myself. And I knew my bros could too, that I didn't have to worry about 'em except in the worst fights. The thought of that changing was just…what the hell?

Leo gestured helplessly. "What else could I do?" he asked. "I'm not Master Splinter. And given what he told me to work on, I'm effectively not the leader any more either. And rusty as I am when it comes to normalcy, I'm still pretty sure older brothers don't get to tell their younger brothers what to do." He shrugged. "We might not like it, but pushing it is only going to make things worse. And maybe he's right, and we won't even need those skills anymore anyways."

I stared at him. "You really think that?"

Leo sighed, watchin' some cyclists go by. "I'd like to. I'd really, really like to…but I've been suspicious for too long to stop now."

I could feel myself relax when he said that. Leo had the best senses of all of us when it came to danger, an' I didn't wanna be the only one keepin' an eye out for things. I knew that my feeling that somethin' might happen was based more on bein' suspicious and a pessimist, but still. "Look, Leo, the way I see it, whether something goes down or not, it doesn't hurt to keep practicin'. An' regardless, it doesn't hurt Donnie to talk to someone other than himself."

"The key word there is "talking", not "yelling"," Leo said wryly, glancin' at me.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm workin' on it."

Leo turned towards me. "Is it hard? Trying to overcome your anger?"

I blew out a breath. "_Hell_ yes. I'm used to just yellin' first an' apologizin' later. It's helped that in the past few years, things have been better, an' I haven't had as much to be pissed about. But tryin' to keep workin' off of that, tryin' to build up an instinct to _not_ yell, to be more patient, is damn hard. I mean, Master Splinter said it'd be easier to be patient with people if I understood 'em. An' I can understand you, to some extent; you don't really change, you've always got the same reasons for why you do things. But with Don…I can try an' understand his reasons, like knowin' what they are, but that doesn't mean I can _understand_ 'em, ya know? An' he expects people to understand things right away like he does, so he doesn't explain himself, an' so we just don't get each other. It's frustratin'."

"Would you like me to talk to him?"

"No!"

Leo jerked back as I snapped at him, an' I inhaled slowly through my teeth, tryin' to stay calm. "Leo, I'm a big boy now, hard as it is to believe. You gettin' involved ain't gonna help anythin'; if we're gonna live with each other, Don an' I have got to get used to bein' around each other an' talkin'. Besides, he's gotta learn to deal with people, an' that includes jackasses like me; not everyone is gonna understand 'im like you do."

Leo nodded slowly. "I think I see what you mean. Sorry."

"S'okay. You ready to head back?"

"Definitely. I don't think I'm going to be able to stand myself if I get any more disgusting," Leo said, flappin' his shirt to try an' get some kind of a breeze. "No one mentioned just how uncomfortable it is to sweat."

I snickered. "So sorry you hate it so much, princess." I stood an' cussed a blue streak as what felt like three layers of skin were ripped off the backs of my thighs an' left on the bench. "Frickin' _hell_, I hate sweat!"

Leo stood slowly, not makin' my mistake, a smug look on his face as he raised an eyebrow. "Don't get your skirts twisted, _hime-sama_."

I took a swing at him. "Shut up. Bein' a sarcastic jerk ain't supposed to be your thing."

"Hey, you're the one who said I needed to lighten up."

"I blame Mikey," I said, ignorin' him. "He's a bad influence." I hid my grin. It was great to see Leo bein' a smart-ass instead of a hard-ass.

We talked crap about each other the whole way back to Leo's an' Mike's building, an' it was just…it was great. It was somethin' I hadn't had in years, at least not with Leo. Stuff like this was what I needed; I needed to know that there was some sort of trade-off for becomin' human, that even if I lost a lot, I gained a lot too.

Yeah, I was greedy, what could I say?

By the time we got to the front door, we both just kinda stood there awkwardly; it was one of the first times I could remember in recent history that neither of us wanted to leave—which was a shell of a contrast to all the years when we couldn't wait to get away from each other. Leo finally glanced at his watch an' broke the silence.

"Look, I've got to go get ready to meet Hitoshi-san, but this…this was really nice, Raph; we should make it a regular thing," he said with a smile. "If you're interested."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course I'm not, which is why it was my idea in the first place," I drawled. "Yeah, weekends, maybe weeknights too. If that works for you."

Leo cocked his head to the side. "Weeknights?" he asked, voice mild. "In Central Park? Some people would say that's asking for trouble."

Never could get anythin' past him, but that never stopped me from tryin', either. I shrugged. "Some people would," I admitted.

I was surprised when he just kinda smiled and shook his head. "Sure, some weeknights too."

I blinked; no lecture? Seriously? Leo had to know that I wanted to be in Central Park at night 'cause that's when the trouble always happened, but he still—huh. Maybe I wasn't the only one missin' parts of our old life.

Leo reached out to grip my shoulder. "You're not the only one still adjusting," he said quietly. "Much as I appreciate not having to worry about where you guys are every day, much as I know you're all safer, I still find myself starting to get ready for patrols sometimes when I look at the clock and see that it's 10 at night. Every time I hear a scream, every time there's a siren outside our windows at night…" Leo blew out a sigh and shook his head. "It takes time. You have to be willing to give yourself that time, to understand that you can't erase twenty-one years in the space of a few months. But at the same time, you have to understand that some of us do adjust a little more easily."

_There_ was the lecture; I was wonderin' when it would show up. "Yeah, I got it. I'll apologize when I get back."

"And try telling him the truth, too," Leo said as he headed up the stairs to the buildin'.

I frowned. "Truth about what?"

"That you miss him, miss being able to connect with him through something that, to you, is a favorite activity."

I blinked. "I miss him?"

Leo looked back over his shoulder with a small smile. "Don't you?" He waved an' headed inside.

The hell? I just stood there in front of the steps, tryin' to think. How could I miss Don? I lived with him, for cryin' out loud.

…Just like I'd lived with Leo for all my life, an' look how much I'd missed him.

I shook my head an' started off for our apartment. Leo the shrink, pickin' out things that no one else could get an' that hardly made sense; it was good to know some things never changed.

* * *

**Leonardo**

Maybe it's because I _have_ always prized cautious realism that I really hadn't expected such good things from our human life. I was used to preparing for the worst and expecting that things would fall as they would; as long as I was prepared, I could deal with them. I didn't have a whole lot of practice when it came to expecting good things.

So Raph wanting to establish a schedule of regular runs together, that was unexpected. And the fact that I was walking with a human friend who was taking me to a job interview…

_Definitely_, definitely unexpected. Very nice, of course, and obviously appreciated, but still, very unexpected.

I think Hitoshi-san could tell that I was more than a little nervous, because he kept up a steady stream of chatter the whole way to the hotel where Seiichi-san and Yuki-san were staying, including stories about how he'd known the two of them when they were children. It was helpful to hear about how they'd grown up, and I felt that I had some idea of what they would be like by the time we arrived.

I stared up at the hotel apprehensively, trying to gather myself. Hitoshi-san patted my arm and tugged me forward by my elbow. "Come, Leonardo-san; if you're truly that nervous, better get it over with as soon as possible, eh?"

"Mm. I'm not really that—I just don't know what to say," I finished awkwardly.

Hitoshi-san waved a hand at me. "Whatever you need to. Simple as that."

I wished I could see things as easily and unconcernedly as Hitoshi-san did. Unfortunately, I couldn't, and I could feel the tension in my shoulders as we stepped off the elevator. Hitoshi-san drew me along, introducing us to the guards and tugging me inside. I managed to pull myself together and focus, checking out the business suite we were in. It was ostentatious, to say the least; there was a huge living area with a view of the New York skyline, and a hallway branching off into several rooms that I assumed were bedrooms. It was tastefully decorated, at least, with hints of the Oriental, probably for the sake of the current inhabitants; I had to wonder if the paintings and pottery I saw were constant features of the suite, or meant solely for Seiichi-san and Yuki-san.

The man and woman sitting on the couch stood as we approached, both of them smiling at Hitoshi-san.

"Hitoshi-jii-san, it's good to see you," the man said, coming forward to bow. Hitoshi-san and I returned the motion, straightening to see who I assumed was Seiichi-san smiling. "You look good."

"You look better," Hitoshi-san said with a snort, stepping forward to offer a hug. Once they pulled apart, he turned back towards me, smiling. "Seiichi-kun, this is the young man I told you about, and my good friend, Hamand Leonardo."

Seiichi-san offered a handshake. "It is good to meet you, Leonardo-san; I am Matsumoto Seiichi."

"And you as well." I shook his hand firmly, inspecting Seiichi-san as I could tell he was inspecting me. He stood about an inch or two shorter than I did, with short black hair that was slicked back. I knew he was only a handful of years older than me, but he seemed very composed and collected for his age. There were laugh lines touching the corners of his eyes, and he seemed like a friendly person. I relaxed a little; he would not be the kind of person who would expect me to be anything other than who I was, and would judge me accordingly.

He released my hand and stepped to the side, gesturing the young woman forward. "And this is my sister, Matsumoto Yuki."

We bowed to each other, and I nodded respectfully. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Yuki-san."

Yuki-san was a traditional Japanese beauty, petite and delicate, with long black hair pulled back high on her head. She barely reached my shoulder, and she had an air of calm about her that reminded me of Usagi-san. She nodded back. "And you as well," she said quietly.

"Well then, shall we talk together?" Seiichi-san asked, gesturing us towards a couch. Once we were seated, he smiled at me, folding his hands together and resting them on his knees. "So, Leonardo-san, Hitoshi-jii-san tells me that you've lived in New York all of your life?"

I nodded, grateful that we were getting straight to the point; I had no idea how to make polite small talk with these people…or with anyone, really. Concentrating on telling my story without lying or giving too much away was much more comfortable, and kept me from getting any more nervous. "That's right. My father originally lived in Japan, but traveled here with his master about thirty years ago. When his master died…it hit my father rather hard, understandably. He withdrew from society and began living away from the city. He found me and my brothers a few years later, and adopted us soon after. Since then he's raised us, training us in martial arts as well."

"About six years back, my brothers and I began traveling to the city and exploring on our own; our father wasn't exactly pleased, but he recognized that four teenage boys don't exactly do well in one place. And so we got to know the city very well over the past few years. Recently, my father decided that New York is…a bit too taxing for him, and he decided to return to Japan, so my brothers and I moved into the city officially," I said, breathing a private sigh of relief that I'd managed to say everything smoothly without, I thought, giving too much away. I smiled at Hitoshi-san. "And then, while I was wandering around the city, I met Hitoshi-san, who provided some very welcome company. He's helped the transition to be a lot less awkward."

Hitoshi-san snorted. "Bah. He exaggerates. All I've done is made him listen to stories and keep me entertained."

"A trying prospect, to be sure," Seiichi-san said dryly.

We all laughed, and I was grateful to see that Seiichi-san was so—well, so human, for lack of a better word. Somehow, I'd expected to be more intimidated.

The four of us talked for about half an hour, Seiichi-san pressing me for details of our time in New York and my experiences. I answered as best I could, trying not to sound too evasive. Yuki-san was very quiet, speaking only when her brother or Hitoshi-san made an effort to draw her into the conversation, and I could understand why Seiichi-san wanted to her get a chance to explore New York and have some time away from further restrictions.

Finally, Hitoshi-san and I said our goodbyes and headed out, after I'd given my information to Seiichi-san, who said he'd contact me after a background check. I couldn't help wondering what he'd think when he realized there was really no background to check other than what I'd given him, but there wasn't anything I could do about that fact.

"So, what do you think, Leonardo-san?"

I started out of my musings, smiling at Hitoshi-san apologetically. "About Seiichi-san and Yuki-san?" He nodded, and I tilted my head in a shrug. "It's difficult to really know anyone after so little time, but they seem like good people. Seiichi-san seems to be a good man, very forthright and motivated. Yuki-san…she doesn't have much of a presence, but I don't know if that's her personality, or a matter of living in her brother's and father's shadows."

I knew that sometimes younger siblings faded away in the face of older, more outgoing siblings; just because it emphatically hadn't happened in such a way with any of my brothers didn't mean it wasn't possible.

Hitoshi-san puffed his cheeks out in a sigh. "Yes, she is much too reserved for one so young, but indeed, it is because of how she has been raised; her father is my good friend, but he is much too married to the idea of raising her in the old style, as an obedient, competent wife and mother. He does not see that many men these days want a partner, an equal. As for Seiichi-kun…he does his best by her, but he, like his father, has not learned how to listen to quieter voices, and I believe he misses more than a few things. Still, he is trying, and there is something to be said for that."

"Mm."

As we came to the corner, Hitoshi-san glanced over at me. "Regardless, I believe things went very well. Would you like to come over for some tea?"

I hesitated; as much as I enjoyed spending time with Hitoshi-san, I had too much nervous energy left over from the interview. I knew worrying wouldn't change or help anything—not that it ever did—but there were some habits that were impossible to break. I needed to walk off or work off some of the excess energy or I would go crazy, and I knew I was useless for company or conversation when I got like this.

I think Hitoshi-san could pick up on that, because he chuckled a little. "Go get the jitters out of your system, Leonardo-san; I will call you when I have any news."

"Thank you, Hitoshi-san; and thank you especially for your help with this." I knew I couldn't properly explain to him just how much his support meant to me, not without explaining why such support and opportunities were so unusual, but I still wanted to try. "It's really…it's good to know that I have a chance to find some work, that I won't be a burden to anyone."

He looked at me oddly for a minute, then smiled slightly. "I don't think you could be if you tried, Leonardo-san. But just as a thought to keep you busy, consider this: do you really think any of your brothers would be all that inconvenienced if you allowed them to return some of the care you've given them over the years?"

What was that supposed to mean? I opened my mouth to try and respond, but Hitoshi-san merely patted my shoulder and waved as he crossed the street.

I watched him go, confused and honestly a little frustrated and—and annoyed. I was already struggling to learn how _not_ to lead; how was I also supposed to learn how to be taken care of?

* * *

**Michelangelo**

It was too nice of a day to just sit inside, and I didn't have anything to do other than wait for Leo to get back from his interview, so I decided to take a walk around and try to get used to seeing New York at street level. I went a couple blocks past our building, wandering around the area where Casey's old apartment was and along some of the streets where we'd had fights before. It was pretty strange, but I was enjoying it; I could actually walk past the people on the streets and not have them freak out.

I got one street past Casey's old building before I heard scuffling and muffled yelps. I couldn't help but sigh; someone was getting attacked in the middle of the day? Seriously? I hate to admit it, but my second thought was 'sweet!' Not for the victim, obviously, but…the truth was, I _missed_ kicking butt and taking names and helping people. And I totally wasn't looking for a fight, so I couldn't be yelled at for this; not even Donnie, worried as he was about keeping low profiles, could honestly say he'd just leave someone high and dry if he heard them in trouble.

Plus, I didn't necessarily have to say anything about this to anyone. All-around win!

I veered off to the side where I heard the noises, noticing that no one was around. It was a lot harder to judge where sounds were from when you couldn't see down into alleys; I ended up having to backtrack once before I found the right place.

Five dudes were all crowded into a narrow alley, four guys who were obviously gang members surrounding a fifth. The victim looked like he was just a kid; couldn't have been more than in his teens, but the other guys were just whaling on him. He was trying to fight back, but it was obvious that whatever self-defense he'd been taught, it had been for dealing with one attacker, not a melee. I stepped into the alley, rolling my shoulders.

"Hey!"

Just like in the movies, everyone turned to look; the thugs glaring at me, the kid staring through a black eye. One idiot sneered at me. "What the hell do you want?"

I blinked. "Well, I would've thought that'd be pretty obvious to anyone who wasn't an idiot," I said cheerfully. "I want you to leave the kid alone."

"Too bad. We got some more to say to him, so piss off, Boy Scout."

Boy Scout? That was a new one. I totally had to remember to tell that one to Raph. I was about to make a crack about getting my community service badge, but by then they had all turned their backs on me again; I guess they seriously expected me to listen.

Heh. If my bros had been there, they could've told 'em a thing or two about how well I _don't_ listen when I'm not in the mood.

I rushed forward as quickly as I could, dropping low to sweep the legs out hard from beneath one moron, then swinging my leg up to kick his neighbor right in the solar plexus; both of them dropped hard and stayed down.

The other two finally turned around at this point, looking totally surprised. I took Mr. Mouthy down with an elbow strike to the hinge of his jaw, then turned around just in time to see the last guy swiping at me with a switchblade. Twenty-one years of instincts took over and I kept turning; I'd just take the strike on my shell, break his stupid knife—

Oh crap.

I remembered the whole 'shell-less' thing just as I felt something score a hot, thin line across my lower back. I winced hard and grit my teeth; that freaking _hurt_. Way too much to be fair. I pushed it back, though, and turned further until I could land a kick right in the jackass's ribcage, flinging him back towards the dumpster.

By the time I came to a stop, the two I'd hit first were just scampering out of the mouth of the alley, and the other two were staggering up to follow them. I glared, seriously kinda pissed after making such a dumb mistake, and especially on chumps like them. "Get outta here," I snapped. "Don't make me repeat myself."

They cheesed it out of there.

Two seconds after they were gone, I decided to sit down. Slowly. And gracefully.

Backs, as it turns out, are really, really sensitive things.

I sat as straight and still as I could, thinking of meditation posture and taking really slow breaths; if I didn't move quickly (or at all), the pain was manageable. That…was really stupid. I couldn't believe I forgot that I didn't have a shell anymore. Of all of us, I'd done the best—in all humility, of course—in terms of adjusting to the new changes in our bodies; balance wasn't that big of a deal, and I'd gotten used to the added inches and everything. Being the most athletic one—and admittedly not fond of sitting still—I'd moved until I got used to things, and I was good. But I'd forgotten that I no longer had a shell to protect my back.

Stupid. If Raph found out, I'd never live it down. Check that; if _Leo_ found out, I'd never get to go anywhere alone again.

Maaaannn…

I heard some talking and then a click, and turned my head carefully to look at the kid I'd saved. He was shoving a cell phone back in his pocket, presumably after calling for help; I sure hoped he hadn't called the cops. He limped a little as he came over to sit down beside me, watching me through a swollen eye. It looked like I'd gotten there soon after they started attacking him; he had some bruises and his shirt was torn, and judging by the limp he either got thrown or kicked in the knee. But that was it; nothing too bad, thankfully.

"You okay?" He glanced at my back worriedly. "You're kinda bleeding."

I tried for a reassuring grin. "I've had worse. I'm Mikey, by the way; how 'bout you?"

"I'm Ryan." He shrugged. "I'm doing about the same." His eyes drifted to my back again. "Listen, um…thanks for helping."

"No problem."

"Chuck an' Ryu should be here soon."

"Yeah?"

"They're my friends. Well, my guardian and his friend, anyway."

Yay, not the cops! "Sounds good. So what was that about?" I asked.

Ryan scowled, rubbing at a bloody knuckle. "They're a bunch of jackasses who've been after me for a while. Tried to recruit me a couple months back, and they've just been making my life miserable ever since I said no. I don't normally need any help," he said defensively, glancing at me. "There were just…more of them this time."

Yeah, this kid had definitely only gotten training in one-on-one fights; to be fair, though, you didn't really expect to end up pissing off clusters of gang members (unless you were us), so I couldn't blame him for not being able to fight them off.

"Hey, no argument from me; good on you for telling 'em where to shove it."

Ryan shrugged, looking like he was trying not to look pleased. We sat there kind of awkwardly for about five minutes before a sudden snatch of conversation drifted to my ears and I tensed, unable to help it. If those idiots came back, we were both in trouble. I could fight with my back like it was, but it would suck in so many ways.

"—sure he said this was where he was?"

"Pretty sure, yeah."

"I don't know how he always—"

Ryan shifted suddenly, looking up at the mouth of the alley and yelling. "Hey! We're down here!"

I snorted. It must be his friends; it better be, or we were in trouble.

Two guys clattered into the alley, one about Raph's size, and the other a bit shorter. I tried to sit up straighter and look like a competent rescuer who didn't really need some disinfectant and Advil. I think I at least partially succeeded.

One of the guys—Asian features, dark hair—hoofed it over to Ryan, turning his face into the light carefully and shaking his head with a sigh that sounded a lot like Leo. The big one crouched down in front of me, looking me over while I returned the favor. He was probably somewhere in his mid-forties, with short brown hair, and still in pretty good shape. "Are you alright?"

I tried for a grin. "I've been better, but I've been worse too, so yeah, pretty much," I said honestly. "I'm Mike. Would you be willing to take an IOU for the handshake?"

He blinked, then snorted a laugh. "Sure. I'm Chuck Masters; thanks for helping Ryan out. How are you hurt?"

"No problem, he's a good kid. Um, it's my back; an ugly dude with a switchblade had longer arms than I thought he did."

Ryan's voice suddenly moved closer. "We gotta get him some help; that knife was nasty."

Chuck frowned. "Are you willing to come with us, or would you rather go to a hospital?"

Ooh, no way. "Uh, I'm good with going with you guys, actually," I said quickly. "It looks worse than it is, I think. Probably. Plus my brother is probably gonna overreact as it is; calling him from the hospital would make his brain explode."

Chuck snorted. "Fair enough. Ryu, grab his other elbow. Mike, can you stiffen your arms so we can help you up?"

"Can do." I waited 'til they were in place, then took a breath. "Ready?"

"Ready." They hefted me up, and other than a particularly sharp twinge—accompanied by what I swear was a manly grunt, not a squeak—it didn't even hurt that badly.

"You alright?"

"Peachy. Unless we're about to do a lot of walking."

Chuck squeezed my elbow, keeping up the support. "We brought a car."

I grinned sickly; I hope their suspension was good. "Then I'm great!"

Fifteen minutes of a bouncy car ride later, we pulled up in front of Chuck's apartment building. Fortunately, they lived on the second floor. Unfortunately, their building didn't have an elevator.

I sighed and started slowly up the stairs. I was getting the hang of how to move without jarring my back too badly, but I still couldn't avoid the occasional twinge. "So how do you guys know each other?" I asked, trying to distract myself.

Chuck paced beside me while the other guy—Ryu? If that wasn't Japanese, I didn't know what was—piggy-backed a complaining Ryan up the stairs. The guy was strong for his size. "The three of us are roommates. I met Ryu soon after I left the force, and I've been Ryan's guardian for a few years."

"The force?" I forcibly bit back a Star Wars joke, hearing Master Splinter's words about being taken seriously. "You were a cop?"

He nodded. "For about eighteen years. Would have done it longer, but…I lost my wife to cancer. And in this city, that's not really a job you should be doing unless you have something to come home to; otherwise you lose sight of the fact that it's other people's wives and kids you're protecting, not just nameless faces."

"I'm sorry about your wife."

"So am I," Chuck said honestly, smiling sadly. "It's still hard, but…it helped, meeting Ryan, having someone to look after. How about you?"

I may have been called dense before, but I can pick up on a conversation change when I need to. "New to the city. We've visited before, but mostly we lived in the boonies; kinda just got on the radar, as it were. Anyways, I was just out for a walk, heard a fight and decided I'd help."

Chuck lifted an eyebrow. "And is that a normal occurrence?"

Dude had no idea. "I help when I can," I said with a careful shrug. "Usually I'm a lot better at remembering that I don't have—" A shell anymore. "—someone to watch my back."

"You're used to having backup?"

I grinned; this dude was _totally_ an ex-cop. He probably thought I sounded like a gang-banger. "I'm the youngest of four brothers; two things you get used to are lots of teasing, and always having at least one person to back you up, no matter how many fake bugs you glued to their pillow."

He laughed. "That makes sense." He waited for me to get my breath back as we finally reached the second floor, then led me down the hall to their apartment. A few minutes later I was sitting on the edge of their tub while Chuck cleaned my back and Ryu fixed up Ryan's face and tried to keep the swelling down in his eye.

"So how's it looking?" I asked. The soap and antiseptic weren't stinging as badly as I'd thought it would, which meant it really wasn't that bad; just painful.

"It's shallower than I would have expected, actually," Chuck said. "I won't bother with stitches, since it's an inconvenient place for them, but I'm going to close it up with some butterfly bandages."

"Sounds good."

His hands paused for a second, then continued laying down some gauze over the butterfly stitches. "You're pretty blasé about this."

I was about to shrug, then thought better of it and tilted my head in an approximation of a shrug. "My bros and I were taught martial arts by our dad; after the number of times I've gotten my butt handed to me, or sprained things by screwing around or messing up a landing, a scratch like this is pretty minor."

I saw Ryu glance at me out of the corner of my eye, then turn back to Ryan. "Martial arts?" he asked quietly.

Whoa, so he _could_ talk; I was beginning to wonder.

"Yep. Kept us out of trouble, instilled a sense of discipline, that sort of thing." I figured it was better not to say that much about it, just in case.

"He's really good," Ryan said suddenly. "You shoulda seen 'im; he took out three guys in like…a minute. I could hardly see him, he moved so fast."

I grinned; everyone likes compliments, and me more than most.

Chuck made a considering noise. "So the guy with the knife…?"

My grin fell off my face. "He, uh…he was the fourth guy."

He tried to muffle a suspicious-sounding snort. "You really are accustomed to having someone to watch your back, aren't you?" Chuck asked.

I could feel Ryu watching me again, and wondered what the dude was thinking. Probably thought I was a bad influence. "Guilty as charged. Speaking of, do you have a phone I can borrow? If I wait any longer to call my brother, it's only gonna get uglier."

Chuck laughed a little. "Sure thing," he said, taping the last end of the bandage down. "If you'll follow me to the living room, I can get you a couch and some Advil too."

"Man, if you were still on the force, I'd totally vote for you to get the humanitarian award, or whatever it is they give you guys," I said fervently, hunching upwards and hobbling after him out of the bathroom.

A chuckle echoed out of the kitchen. "I appreciate the thought."

I sat down on the couch with a sigh, twisting slightly to test the security of the bandages. I was pretty sure there was some analgesic in the antiseptic stuff, 'cause my back wasn't stinging as much as it had. Chuck had definitely picked up some skills on the job; he was almost as good as Don at first aid. He was a heck of a nice guy, too; I wasn't an expert on stranger-interaction, but I was pretty sure most people didn't go to these lengths for someone they just met. He didn't treat me like a kid, either, though I could tell he thought I was a little nuts for trying to fight four guys by myself. Man, if he only knew the odds I was used to…

"Hey Mike?"

I looked over to see Ryan plop down beside me, a cold pack held to his eye. "Yeah, bud?"

He shifted slightly, looking down. "Sorry I got you hurt," he mumbled to his knees.

I rolled my eyes and reached over carefully to poke him in the side. "You're being stupid; _I_ got me hurt. And it's not even that bad; I bet you anything it closes up in like…three days, tops. 'Sides, you look worse than I do."

Ryan scowled a little. "Thanks."

I grinned cheekily at him; all grouchy teenagers paled in ferocity to growing up with Raph, so they just kinda all seemed funny instead of scary. "You're welcome."

Chuck came back with a glass of water and a bottle of Advil, while Ryu stepped around him to set the phone on the end table beside me. I saw a flash of red on his arm for a minute as his sleeve rode up and wondered what kind of tattoo he had. That thought, and a couple others, was quickly derailed by the presence of pain meds. "Only two," Chuck said warningly as I popped the bottle open.

"You got it, officer." I chased the medicine down with the water, then picked up the phone and sighed at it before dialing. The most I could hope for was that Leo's interview had gone really, really well, and he was in a really good mood.

Leo picked up after two rings, sounding a little hesitant. _"Hello?"_

Oh right, this was someone else's phone; he wouldn't recognize the number. I coughed slightly. "Hey, Leo, it's Mike." Ryu stood suddenly, muttering something about dishes, and headed into the kitchen, I guess to give me some privacy; polite guy, but dang he sure didn't say much.

"_Mikey? This isn't your number."_

And there was the suspicion. "Yeah, I uh—made a new friend! After, um, talking to some people. And now I'm at that friend's house." Getting medical treatment. "Getting to know him better."

There was a muttered "liar" from beside me, and injured back or no, I threw my pillow at Ryan with a wince, satisfied to hear an "ow!" as it pegged him in the side of the head.

"_Talking to people."_

"Yep! Just, uh, having a discussion!"

With fists.

In my defense, though, that _was_ how Raphie held most of _his_ discussions.

A familiar, resigned-sounding sigh echoed over the line. _"You got hurt, didn't you."_ It was that way Leo had of making a question more of a statement; the guy didn't have a lot of trust, really.

Having a big brother like Leo took all the fun out of making up stories. "Maybe just a little. But even the cop said it wasn't that bad!"

The silence on the other end got really, really threatening all of a sudden. _"The cop?"_

"Not like it sounds!" I said quickly. "Okay, heard a fight, helped a kid, _might_ have gotten a _little _hurt, got picked up by the kid's friends—"

Ryan snorted. "I'm not a kid; you're only six years older than me."

I covered the mouthpiece for a minute to glare at Ryan. "Can you drive?" I demanded. "No? Then I get to call you kid. Six years is still six years." I turned back to the phone. "The _kid's_ friends, one of whom used to be a cop, and now I'm talking to you!"

There was more silence from the phone, and I could practically picture Leo pinching the bridge of his nose. _"Who did you fight?"_

"Just some Purple Dragons. I think. Just 'bangers, anyways, whoever they were."

"_And you're okay?"_

I hunched down a little. It was hard not to feel guilty when Leo got that strained tone in his voice, even if I was barely wounded and it had been in the line of duty. "I'm really okay. Just a little cut on my back."

"…_Forgot you're missing something, didn't you?"_

I couldn't help making a face; Leo couldn't be too worried about me if he was willing to take the opportunity to lecture me. "Maybe. Anyways, do you want to come get me, or are you going to make your poor, injured brother walk home completely alone?"

Leo snorted. _"It'd build character if I did,"_ he said with a sigh. _"Where are you?"_

Chuck handed me a piece of paper, and I read off the address for Leo.

"_I'll be there in about ten minutes."_

"Did I mention you're my favorite brother?" I asked brightly.

"_Goodbye, Michelangelo."_

Yeaaahhhh…I was gonna hear more about this later.

Chuck patted me on the shoulder as I set the phone down. "At least your brother cares," he said, trying to look sympathetic. "That's more than a lot of people have, though I know from experience that doesn't help when it comes to being lectured."

I glanced at him. "Older brother?"

He grinned. "Older _sister_. The woman has a lung capacity that could shame an opera singer. She took pains to make sure I grew up as a reputable character, which I thank her for daily now, however painful it was back then."

I winced. "My condolences."

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," he laughed. "Well, take it easy until your brother gets here; I think Ryan has some studying that he wouldn't mind some help with."

Ryan groaned as he got up and followed Chuck back to his room. "I'm _injured_," he complained. "I seriously have to study with a black eye?"

"I promise you can stop when it swells up," Chuck said unsympathetically.

I couldn't help grinning; where had I heard that before?

After that it got kinda quiet and boring, so I hobbled into the kitchen to go talk to Ryu. The guy was probably just slow to warm up around strangers. Or maybe he thought I was setting a bad example for Ryan or something; he seemed pretty close to the kid. While I would totally encourage anyone to help someone in trouble, I figured I ought to let Ryu know I also figured people ought to be, you know, skilled enough to save themselves _and_ the victim.

Like me! On any day that wasn't today, apparently.

I stopped and leant against the doorjamb; better give the guy some space if he really was antisocial. He was seriously going after those dishes; gotta appreciate a neat-freak, I guess.

"Hey, need any help?"

Apparently even a room wasn't enough space, 'cause the dude seriously _jumped_ like I'd yelled, the plate he was washing scraping across the counter before it landed on the floor and broke.

I was really on a roll.

He swore and shoved his sleeves down, bending over to pick up the pieces, and I headed in to help him. I hated making a bad impression on people. "Hey, sorry, dude, that was totally my bad."

"It's not a problem," he said quickly. "I just…didn't hear you come in."

I grinned as I knelt down to grab some pieces as well. "Yeah, well, I've always been pretty light on my feet," I joked as he dragged the trashcan closer. "You know, martial arts, sneaking around three brothers…loud guys don't get away with pranks, let me tell you."

Ryu nodded distractedly. "So you have a lot of experience in that respect?"

I opened my mouth to reply, then realized I was getting a little too far into stuff that was a little far from normal; not many people studied martial arts these days, and fewer probably bragged about it. I wasn't gonna be like Donnie and worry about everyone reading too much into what I said, but still, couldn't hurt to be careful. "Hey, three straight years of prank wars for April Fool's Day would give _anyone_ experience." It was probably better if he thought any sneaking skills were solely because of my little brother status.

"I'd imagine." Ryu dumped the rest of the plate shards in the trash and stood, nodding to me. "Thank you for your help. You should go sit back down; you need to keep your back still." He gave a small smile. "You wouldn't want to worry your brother."

"Definitely not," I agreed. It was good to see the guy was friendly, just shy, too. "Sorry again about the plate; I really didn't—"

Someone knocked at the door then, and even if I hadn't been expecting Leo, I would have thought it was him; three sharp knocks, even and perfectly-spaced, no fun rhythms or anything. I straightened up carefully and hurried over to the door, opening it with my most charming grin. "Leo!"

Leo looked me over, and some of the lines around his eyes disappeared once he saw for himself that I was alright; 'cause, you know, it's not like I _told_ him I was fine or anything. Leo seemed to think that everyone downplayed injuries like he did; me, I was honest about them, mainly 'cause injuries meant pampering, and I was not the kind of turtle—guy to let opportunities go to waste. "Mikey. You're okay?"

"Perfectly fine, bro, just like I told you."

"Ah, you must be Leo." Chuck came striding around the corner, offering a handshake. "Chuck Masters."

"Nice to meet you," Leo said, shaking Chuck's hand firmly. Leo was good at avoiding introductions so that he didn't have to say our last name; I'd have to remember that one. "Thank you for taking care of my brother."

"No trouble at all; he saved Ryan, so it was the least I could do," Chuck replied. He grinned at me. "I'm guessing you might be inclined not to believe him, but his back really isn't that bad. Just a thin slice, and I expect it'll heal up within a few days."

Leo seemed to unwind a little more. "That's good to hear." He bowed to Chuck slightly. "It was nice to meet you, and I really do appreciate your assistance."

Chuck seemed a little surprised at Leo's formality, and I kinda wished I'd warned him that Leo was like that with anyone he'd just met. He seemed to figure out it was just a Leo thing, though, and clapped him on the shoulder. "Anytime. Mike mentioned that you're new to the city, so if you ever want some tips on the best restaurants or just to stop by, you're more than welcome."

I grinned. "Thanks! I'll definitely take you up on that. Tell Ryan I'll stop by sometime to see how he's doing."

"I know he'd appreciate that. You two take care, and stay out of trouble."

Leo raised an eyebrow at me, then smiled at Chuck. "I can't make any promises for Mike, but I'll do my best," he said wryly.

"Hey!" That was totally uncalled for.

We waved goodbye and headed down the stairs, and I was relieved to see that my back really was feeling better. I kept waiting for the lecture to start—I figured it was still up in the air whether Leo would start with the bit about trusting strangers or about watching my back (literally)—and I was a little surprised when he didn't say anything. And I'd learned over the years that it really was better to get yelled at sooner rather than later, before anyone got a chance to really build up some steam, so I figured I'd get the ball rolling. "Sooo…I'm really sorry about this whole little…um, thing. Today."

Leo glanced at me out of the corner of his eye and snorted. "I'm not going to lecture you, Mikey."

"What, really? Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm feeling fine. Look, all that happened was that you made a mistake based on instinct; you have twenty-one years of instinct telling you that you have a shell, and instinct is what we rely on in fights. It's not a big surprise that you fell back on those ingrained habits in the first fight that you've had since our change—barring the bar brawl, anyways." He glanced at my back, where I was guessing he could see the small bulge of the bandages. "While I do wish you'd been more careful, and while we'll definitely be working to overcome this instinct—in both of us—I can't scold you for saving someone."

"Wait, that's it? Nothing about not paying attention to my surroundings, or how it could have been a lot worse?"

Leo's face seemed to tighten a little. "It's…it's not really my place to say that anymore. You know it could have been worse; that's good enough," he said quietly. "And besides…I've learned that dwelling on how badly things could have gone is not a road I'm strong enough to walk down and come back from."

Ah. This was one of those "lessons I learned from my unforgiveable mistakes during and after the incident on Saki's ship" reflections, huh. I seemed to have an awesome habit of stumbling on those when I really, really didn't mean or want to. Which was, you know, any time ever.

Fortunately, I also have an awesome ability when it comes to changing the subject and distracting people. "So basically you're saying you've learned that worrying about stuff doesn't change anything."

Leo frowned slightly. "That's not exactly—"

"And that being pessimistic and expecting the worst only messes things up."

"I didn't—"

"And that letting go of the past is really the best way to go."

"Okay, now you're just—"

"Hey look, a hot dog stand! You're treating."

I stood by a greasy-looking dude with surprisingly awesome-smelling hot dogs and grinned at Leo, who just kind of opened and closed his mouth a few times before sighing and pulling out his wallet. As we munched on our snacks on the way home, I made a note to myself to make a _real_ note to myself to remember to keep an eye out on Leo. The way things were, I had a chance to try and…I don't know, lighten him up a bit. Now that he was away from having to be Leader Leo all the time, he didn't have to always be in the leader/warrior/battle commander mindset. I could infect him with some Mikey-vibes and see if that wouldn't help a bit; show him what it was like to wear the rose-tinted glasses.

It was a metaphor that worked a lot better now, you know, now that we had noses and ears and could actually keep glasses on our faces.

It was definitely a plan.

* * *

**A/N: Done! . This was the chapter that didn't want to end and didn't want to be written; I kept coming up against pacing problems based on where the story goes after this chapter. It's especially nuts that this only covers a single day, too, but it was kind of necessary. Fortunately, since I ended up splitting this in half (it was over 30 pages), that means that the next chapter is already about ¼ written, and I plan to try and get that out within the month, which should actually be possible since I'm free now! ^_^**


	10. Chapter 10

_Disclaimer: see previous chapters._

_Hooray! Another chapter, and it's only been two months! That's a bit longer than I wanted, but I've recently switched part-time jobs, and the hours have been a little weird. But to make it up to you, I now present the monster of all chapters: __**42 freaking pages**__. I kind of wanted to break it up a little, but it works fine like this, and besides, I realized that the past three chapters (including this one) have only covered the span of about six days. I need to get things moving along._

_So you get a ginormous monster chapter, complete with the long-awaited Donnie date. Enjoy!_

* * *

**Howard Pottmeyer**

I scowled as the bell over the door rang. It would figure someone would come in just as I had sat down with the crossword. Never failed. A glance at the door just had me scowling more.

Kids. Damn suspicious, this early in the morning. Better not cause any trouble.

I looked the four of them over as they came into the store. They were all well-built, and the redhead in particular looked like he could cause some damage, but they looked too clean-cut to be members of some gang. Unless it was an act…though I had to admit I couldn't see any tattoos, and none of them had weird hair either.

'Cept that one with the ponytail. Young men need to learn to leave the long hair to the ladies.

Two of them stayed by the door, the redhead and one with dark hair. The dark one looked kinda antsy, tightly strung, sort of. Made me think about reaching for the pistol I have under the register, but watching him out of the corner of my eyes, it looked more like he was just gun-shy rather than getting ready to cause some trouble. I saw that kind of twitchiness in some of my old buddies who'd been in the war. Never really got used to being out in the open, some of them, and some got so bad they couldn't stand being around other people. But this was just a kid, barely in his twenties. Probably some kind of junkie. Damn drugs.

"You need t'calm the hell down, Leo," the redhead grumbled, startling me a bit. "It's way too frickin' early for you to be antisocial."

"I didn't realize there was an appropriate time slot for that," the dark one muttered back quietly. He looked up and caught me watching him—odd eyes on that one—then glanced down and blew out his breath, seeming to settle into place a little more. The redhead glanced up at me too, his eyes narrow.

I glared back. I'll watch whoever I damn well want to in my own store.

"Seriously, though, he's got a point, Leo," one of the others added from a few shelves away. They were trying to be quiet, but I'd owned the store for decades, and I'd moved the checkout counter right where the best acoustics were; there was practically nothing I couldn't hear in my store. "I think you were scaring the locals out there a bit. I swear I saw an old lady shuffle off in the other direction."

"I wasn't doing anything."

"It's the way you walk," the last one corrected, the one with the hippie hair. "You tend to…well, prowl a bit."

"…I _what_?"

"You just need to walk less like you're hunting something and more like…more like Raph," the blonde one said again. "New Yorkers are used to pissed-off people who stomp a lot."

"Hey, it's frickin' seven in the morning; I don't have to be social this early."

The dark haired one snorted softly. "But I do?"

"Shaddup."

"Alright, what do you guys want?" asked the one with the hippie hair. At least he was dressed decently, no ratty jeans or the like. Must just be too lazy to get a haircut. "They've got breakfast sandwiches, donuts, energy bars…"

"Donuts! Powdered sugar ones!"

"Oh right, because you _need_ more sugar." I was starting to think the four of them had to be brothers, 'cause even saying that, the long-haired one was pulling a couple packages of donuts off the shelf. "Raph?"

"Not hungry."

"Leo?"

"I'll just get something later."

The blonde glanced up from where he was drawing faces in the condensation on the freezer doors. "Anything to drink?"

The redhead—Raph, was it? Sounded like a gang name—grunted. "Grab me an energy drink, would ya? Just none of that Red Bull shit. Leo?"

The dark one—Leo, apparently—shrugged. "Is there any tea?"

I cleared my throat. "Iced tea is the next door over, and the tea bags and hot water are by the coffee."

The four of them glanced up at me like they'd forgotten I was here, and I felt a little uncomfortable, them all staring like that, like I was intruding on _their_ morning instead of the other way around. Damn rude.

The dark one nodded slowly. "Thank you," he said quietly as he moved towards the coffee area, shadowed by the redhead. I could see why his brother was giving him hell about making people uncomfortable; those eyes of his, combined with the way he moved—couldn't even hear his shoes squeak on the damn linoleum—made him a bit unsettling. Matter of fact, they all moved kinda oddly, casual-like, but sure. It made me double-check my gun again. Maybe they were just new in the neighborhood, or maybe the gangs were sending out higher classes of punks and shoplifters these days. They were polite enough, but there was just something off about 'em.

I grunted and looked down at my crossword, glancing over at the monitor beside me; it showed the camera feed from the back of the store, so I could still watch them. The blonde and 'Raph' were comparing energy drinks, and 'Leo' and Hippie-Hair were getting their drinks made. I looked down long enough to fill in a couple lines and checked the monitor again. Still nothing.

I couldn't figure it out. I knew all the college and local kids in the area, those who bothered to come to my store, anyway, and I'd never seen these four before. On top of that, not many young people came in at seven in the morning; these days most were too lazy, not even bothering to start the day 'till ten or eleven. Generally, the only time kids their age came in at odd hours was to try and start something or steal something, but these four…seemed decently respectable, if I had to say it.

I wanted to get Marge out here, see what she thought of 'em, but I was still leery about leaving 'em alone in my store long enough to go get her. I turned back to my crossword.

Sixteenth president. That was…dammit, who was it—Lincoln, right. Just one more thing that the schools didn't bother with these days; memorization was a major part of things in my time, but that granddaughter of mine couldn't even tell me the dates of the First World War. What the hell were they teaching these days?

"Excuse me."

I jumped, my pen clattering across the counter. I'd never even heard 'em move, but the blonde and the long-haired one were standing right in front of me. I cleared my throat, keeping my gun hand ready. "You all set?"

The blonde grinned and handed me my pen. "Yep."

I took it back and grunted, ringing up their purchases. As I waited for the receipt to print out—damn machine was as ancient as I was, I had to remind Marge that we needed a new one—I looked back at my crossword. "Any of you know what the eleventh element in the periodic table is?" Might as well find out if these kids had any brains on 'em, or if they really were just punks who cleaned up well and were good at sneaking around. They still taught the periodic table in those damn public schools, didn't they? If not, it was always good to show upstarts like these that they didn't know everything.

The blond automatically glanced at Hippie-hair, who tilted his head to the side, his eyes unfocused, then smiled as he looked back at me. "Sodium," he replied promptly, handing a package of donuts to the blonde.

I could tell my eyebrows rose a bit at that. Normal people didn't just rattle off stuff like that off the tops of their heads. Maybe these four were college students; that'd explain the surly behavior. As for their builds…jocks, maybe. I knew a couple basketball players that were pretty damn light on their feet; these four weren't quite tall enough, though. I forced my thoughts back in line and grunted, filling the letters in. They fit. "Thanks."

There were less-than-subtle coughs from the blonde and 'Raph' that sounded suspiciously like "nerd". Hippie-hair ignored them; if they were all brothers like I thought they were, he probably had a lot of practice with that. Didn't look a thing alike, though. College roommates, maybe.

Hippie-hair craned his neck to the side, glancing over the crossword. "And number 13 across is 'ethanol'."

I frowned a little; was the kid trying to show off now? "You a college student?"

He grinned weakly, glancing at his brother. "I was. I, um, graduated early though."

"Huh. New in town?"

"Yes, sir. We moved in about a month ago, on the East side."

"Huh." That explained why I hadn't seen 'em before. Didn't explain what they were doing all the way over here, though.

"Hey, Nerd Wonder, we ready to go?" 'Raph' was looking antsy over by the door. "If I've gotta wait for hours in a line at your museum for old shit, your precious coffeemaker dies when we get home."

Hippie-hair rolled his eyes. "Thank you, oh paragon of patience, for graciously reminding me of our schedule." He flashed a quick smile at me and headed for the door.

I watched them leave, noticing the way the dark-haired one paused a little, like he was bracing himself before going outside. Even odder was the way the other three seemed to almost flank him, like they were following him and serving as a buffer at the same time.

Weird kids. Still, polite enough, I guess, and at least they didn't steal anything. Still damn weird, though. I smoothed my paper back into place, glancing at the clue for 13 across, then turned my head and hollered towards the back. "Marge! You on the damn computer?"

"Yes! What's your problem now?"

"Find out what the hell kind of liquid has the lowest freezing point!"

I could hear Marge muttering for a minute, then she hollered back.

"Ethanol!"

I scowled, filling in the letters reluctantly.

Damn smartass kids.

* * *

**Donatello**

As much as I enjoyed our new life, living in the city rather than below it, I still wasn't used to the amount of noise and congestion and—and _people_ that New York was filled with. Being able to step into our quiet apartment was a relief after a day of navigating New York's streets and trying not to get killed in traffic. Add to that the fact that I didn't usually get home until dinnertime or later…and it was understandable that I was a little overtaxed in the sensory overload department.

Today, at least, it had been worth it.

Even though we had just gone out to the bar on Friday, we'd decided to visit the American Museum of Natural History. I didn't have anything planned, so I had no problem with it. Besides, Mikey had insisted that we needed to start making more progress on our "tourist list," and Leo had added that he'd like to scope out a few locations to take Yuki-san, ones he could actually tell her about. That was all the excuses I needed, and we managed to drag Raph along as well.

I'd always dreamed of getting to go to the American Museum of Natural History. Even though I'd studied about a great deal of the artifacts that were enshrined there, it was totally different from getting to actually walk around and look at all the different exhibits. And with as much history as they had in there, each of us managed to find something to interest us, even as different as we were. I could have spent all day in there, but as it neared dinnertime, I was about the only one who still had the patience to keep looking, so we headed back.

Raph beat me into the apartment, making a beeline for the fridge, then disappearing to his room with a growl after realizing he'd already finished off the six-pack. Most of the time, I could swear it was just what the beer symbolized, and not even the alcohol itself, that helped him calm down. Either way, I was content to let him cool off by himself; I'd appreciated that he'd come along and been as patient with me as he had been that day.

I dropped my shoes by the door and headed to my room, then flicked on my computers. After I checked on my email accounts, I started going through the surveillance files. As much as I didn't want to admit that Raph was right…I did worry that our enemies would follow us from our new life. He had a point there, because even if we were ignoring them, there was absolutely nothing keeping them from coming after us. While Karai and Bishop did have to worry about legal repercussions, they had ways around them, namely by using their flunkies. So being prepared…I was willing to admit that it could make a big difference.

Along those lines, I'd set up several cameras around our apartment, as well as Mikey and Leo's, and April and Casey's. I had the feed from all them funneled to my computer, so that I was able to keep an eye on things and see if we'd had any company lately. Additionally, I still had my old feeds hooked up down in the sewers and around the foundry, just in case the Foot were creeping around there as well.

I reviewed the recordings from the three apartments for the day, relieved to see nothing on it, then deleted the old footage. I switched my receiver to a different channel, and waited for the footage from the sewer to come up. Nothing had happened around the foundry, not that I'd expected it to; it had been one of our more secretive Lairs, and we'd been especially careful not to draw attention to it when we entered and exited.

The problem cropped up when I went over the sewer footage, however.

Everything was clear all day long, but as soon as I flipped over to the live feed, I saw glimpses of black-clad forms darting along the tunnels.

The Foot.

I plugged the camera controls into my computer and zoomed the cameras out, setting them to do a slow sweep. Two sets of Foot ninja, a dozen strong each, were prowling through the tunnels, obviously searching for something. And given how few people spent any time in the sewers unless they had to, I knew they were looking for us.

Shell.

Leo had been right. Karai must have gotten suspicious after we'd been gone for so long, after not hearing anything about us interrupting any Foot patrols or crime sprees, and now she was looking for us. Of course, that wasn't the problem. The problem was what she'd do when she couldn't find us, because as much as I hated to admit it, Leo was right; Karai wouldn't just let it go. She'd look this gift horse in the mouth, just the same as we would, because there was telling yourself that an enemy was neutralized, and there was _knowing_ an enemy was neutralized. Over the years, we'd both made that mistake often enough that neither of us would be satisfied with anything other than each other's corpses in front of us.

I swore and sat back, scrubbing my hands over my face harshly. A couple months; that's all the more peace we'd had. All that work I did, all that research, as careful and quiet as we'd been, and it'd only bought us a couple weeks. I could look ahead at things just as well as Leo could. Karai would either scour all of the sewers and realize that we weren't there any more, or she'd realize after enough time had passed that we were playing with her…and then there was every chance that she'd go after April and Casey. Leo had a point; his plan would only buy us a little time.

But it was still the only one we had.

I stared at the phone for several minutes before I could finally force myself to pick it up and call Leo. This wasn't something I should keep from my brothers, not when it gave us a perfect opportunity to test out Leo's idea and see if the Foot and Karai would really react the way he expected. Even if I didn't want anything to do with this…I had to admit that Leo's plan made sense, and since this didn't affect just me, it wasn't something I could hide from them. I sighed and dialed Mikey and Leo's apartment.

"_Hamand's Turtle Shop—you shell 'em, we sell 'em!"_

I closed my eyes for a minute, praying for patience. "Mikey, what the shell are you doing?"

"_Oh, hey, Donnie! How's it going?"_

"What on earth are you thinking, answering the phone like that?"

There was a slight sigh on the other line, so quiet I almost missed it. _"I think I'm making a joke, Donnie; I've been known to do that from time to time."_

My lips tightened. "And what if someone else had been on the line?"

"_Dude, you guys and April and Casey are the only ones who know this number. It was just a joke."_

I sighed, trying not to get upset. It _was_ just a joke, and I'd be the first to admit I was a little tense after seeing the Foot…but it was also a huge slip if I hadn't been the one calling. But I knew Mikey well enough to know that even if I yelled at him, it probably wouldn't stick; apparently I was the only one who was worried about keeping a low profile. "Yeah. Look, is Leo there? I've picked up some stuff from my sensors in the sewers, and I think tonight might be a good opportunity to try and take out a patrol, if Leo still thinks it'll work."

"_Really? Sweet! Yeah, just a sec, I'll go get 'im."_

A couple seconds passed before I heard Leo's voice. _"Donnie? It's Leo. What's up?"_

"My cameras picked up a Foot patrol in the sewers. I figured you'd want to know about it."

I could practically see Leo nodding through the phone. _"Definitely. How many are there?"_

"Just one patrol, about a dozen of them. Judging by their path, they're heading towards the old Lair, and they're checking out the surrounding tunnels and trying to block off a couple of them."

"_They're just in that one area? Are there any Foot Tech or Elite?"_

I flicked on the heat sensors and shook my head. "Nope. Just regular Foot soldiers. There's another patrol two tunnels over, same size, same specs."

There was a pregnant pause in which I could tell Leo was thinking furiously, plans already forming. For all that I was the smart one, Leo knew tactics and strategy like the back of his hand; he could put together a functional, effective plan of attack faster than some people could get dressed. _"Alright. Keep the surveillance focused on them. Mikey and I will be over in about ten minutes. Is Raph there?"_

"Yeah."

"_Good. Let him know as well. And Don?"_

I hesitated. "Yeah?"

"_Thanks for letting me know."_

I blinked, wondering if he'd thought that I wouldn't have…wondering what I'd done to reinforce that idea. "Y-yeah, no problem." I hung up and sighed, standing to go fill Raph in.

It only took about half an hour for us to decide on a plan of attack, less time than I would have expected or was comfortable with, considering that messing this up would cost us so much more than just a tactical advantage. I didn't say anything, though, because I couldn't argue that all the bases had been covered.

Leo and Mikey had shown up with duffel bags full of weapons, tools and black clothing. Leo's plan was pretty simple; they'd dress in black to give away as little as possible, with some layers to add bulk just in case one of the Foot managed to catch a glimpse of them. They'd be wearing their bandanas as well, since those would show up well in the tunnels thanks to the white eyeholes and reinforce that it really was us—the Turtles—attacking. There'd be no messing around, just a quick, silent attack, taking down the Foot as quickly and painfully as possible; being more ruthless than usual would decrease our chances of being seen, as well as serving to further hammer home the idea that we really were worried and stretched thin. I'd provided each of them with a small chip I'd been working on, one that could pick up sound, so that I'd have an opportunity to capture some audio and see if Karai was really taking the bait. If they got the chance, slipping it onto one of the Foot ninja would give us a chance to spy on Foot HQ without anyone being the wiser. It was simple yet effective, and it was honestly a lot less complicated—and less dangerous—than many of the maneuvers we'd done in the past.

It felt weird, almost—wrong, to be sitting around watching my brothers get suited up and ready for an attack while I would be staying behind. I still didn't want to get involved, and I knew that we really did need someone to keep an eye on things—since seeing our enemies first would help us keep from being seen ourselves—but we had always been a team, and I didn't like the idea of not being there to watch their backs.

"You guys have your headsets, right?" I asked, looking them over. I had to fight a smile for a minute, because they looked like cat burglars, dressed all in black as they were.

"Got 'em," Mikey replied, settling his on his head and flicking it on. "Still works too—I think."

Leo nodded. "It does," he said, tapping his own. "I can hear you just fine, Mikey. Raph?"

"Yeah, I got it," he grumbled, fitting the earpiece into his ear. "Check, one two, and all that."

"Let me make sure it works from my end too." I headed back into my room, leaned towards the microphone on my desk and spoke softly. "Can you guys hear me alright?" I waited as they all responded, pleased to notice that the lines were free of static. Communication would be important.

I stepped back out into the living room and watched as they collected the last of their gear. By the time they were ready, we all just kind of stood around awkwardly; I wasn't the only one who felt weird. Finally I just smiled at them a little. "Be careful."

Mikey grinned. "When aren't we?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Do you really want me to answer that question? Because I've probably got a complete tally somewhere…"

"We'll be back before you know it, Nerd Wonder," Raph said. "I'll even bring you back a souvenir if you want."

"Bring back any tech they have on them," I said seriously, just thinking of something. "Or check their masks for headphones; if that's how they communicate, I can probably tap into their transmitting signal. Actually—wait just a minute—" I ran back to my room, pawing through my filing cabinet until I found what I was looking for, then jogged back to the living room. "Use this," I said, passing one of my handheld sensors to Leo and a couple bugs to Raph and Mikey. "The sensor can pick up radio frequencies and determine the wavelength. Once I know that, I can narrow down the prospects and find out what station they're using to transmit. It's better than taking one of their masks, because they'd probably just change their frequency if they thought it had been compromised."

Leo took it carefully, looking like he thought he might break it. "How do I use it?"

I pointed at one of the smaller blue buttons. "Just hold this down for about five seconds, then let go. A number will come up on the screen then; just let me know what it is. That's it. As for the bugs, put them somewhere unnoticeable where they're not likely to get damaged; try the sword sheathes."

"Alright." Leo tucked it into a pocket and nodded. "We'd better get going before they move or finish up. Don, let us know what you see. If everything goes well, we should be back in no more than a couple of hours."

I bit my tongue and asked why they couldn't be done in half an hour—the longer they stayed out, the more of a chance there was that they would be caught or seen—but I'd lived with Leo long enough to know that he was nothing if not thorough; painfully so. "Sounds good. Keep your phones on. And Mikey, I swear, if you make me listen to your Darth Vader breathing through the headset again, I'm patching feedback at about eighty decibels straight into your eardrums."

Mikey smiled innocently (as much as he could manage, anyway) and edged for the door. "Love you too, Donnie!"

The apartment was unnervingly quiet once my brothers had left, and I was kind of at a loss for a while. I knew it was only a ten minute trip to the Foot squad's location in the sewers, but factoring in a stealthy approach, it would probably take them closer to twenty.

Which meant I had a lot of quiet, uninterrupted time on my hands.

I'd been working steadily on a handful of programs—bugs, cookie attachment downloads, and some modified Trojans—ever since Leo had brought up the issue of not having any alternatives. The problem was that I'd only been able to work on them in spurts in between work and sleep and trying not to attract Raph's attention. He'd developed the unfortunate habit of popping in my door at random times to see if I wanted to go out and do something—take a walk, train, go pester Mikey and Leo—or to hand off any of the discarded parts he'd saved from work before they were thrown out, things he knew I needed or would be interested in tinkering with. I appreciated the efforts for what they were—an apology a la Raph, unspoken but still well-meaning, without really taking back what he'd said. Still, constantly having to look over my shoulder had seriously hampered my ability to finish my projects.

And after all of my admonitions to be careful, not attract attention and not try to go on the offensive…well, if Raph knew what I was working on, it would likely seem like the worst kind of hypocrisy there was.

Except that I wasn't being a hypocrite. Not really, anyway. I was being careful; my programs were absolutely untraceable, and I only planned to send them out at a staggered rate of maybe one a month, if that. And this hardly counted as going on the offensive, either; this was like Leo's plan to scour the sewers and mislead Karai, more of an oblique distraction. Right now, these programs were for information-gathering only. I just needed one backdoor to Karai's system, and then I could keep track of everything: staff numbers, shipping plans, any backroom deals that were going on. And those tidbits I could feed to the cops; it had been easy to pick up a couple disposable cell phones at work—with my employee discount, no less. If Karai had to handle various deals being broken up or having the police stumble across some of her warehouses, it'd be something else to take her attention off of us. Even better, with how carefully I would be covering my tracks, she'd have no proof of outside involvement, and would likely assume it was a matter of having a traitor among the ranks.

Anything I could do to break the Foot apart from the inside was something that would keep their attention off of us. We'd be moved to the backburners in Karai's mind, even though Leo was apparently right about our absence setting her on edge. And that would give us time to find a permanent solution. There had to be one, other than direct confrontation; if I'd learned anything through all our battles and all the puzzles I'd had to solve through the years, it was that just because there wasn't an obvious solution didn't mean that there wasn't any solution at all.

I'd find it, and it would start with my programs.

Twenty minutes was about the largest block of uninterrupted time I'd had for my work in weeks, and by the time I heard my brothers' headsets click back on into active use, I'd managed to complete two of my Trojans. All that was left was to find a way to get them into Karai's system, and I had a few ideas about how to accomplish that. No war was ever won just by dint of pure brute force, after all.

And besides, who ever heard of a ninja in broad sight on a battlefield?

* * *

**Raph**

We dropped into the sewers as quietly as we could, tryin' not to breathe through our noses. It was weird to notice the smell so much after livin' with it and ignorin' it for so long, but when you considered the time we spent livin' in the foundry and then the past couple months…we really hadn't been in the sewers for a while. Part of it felt like steppin' back into our home, while the other part was just—uneven. It didn't feel quite right anymore.

Leo glanced around as we waited for our eyes to adjust. "Alright, you guys know the drill. We're not here for fun; we have to be as quick and careful as possible. We can't let them see us. Keep all contact to a minimum in terms of grappling, holds or throws; we can't take the risk that they might feel five fingers instead of three, or thinner, longer arms."

I couldn't help rollin' my eyes. "We got it, Leo." Much as it was good to see Leo back in his element, this kind of thing always had gotten old fast.

"And from now on, Don, we're going to limit our replies to you. If we aren't even in contact with you, it reinforces the idea that things are too serious for you to be away from Master Splinter, even for surveillance. So from here on, we're going to operate under the assumption that we're always being listened to."

Our headsets clicked slightly. "That works," Don replied, his voice tinny through the mike. "Put on your sunglasses now, too; I'm linked up to the power in that tunnel now, and I'm going to kill the lights in the tunnel as soon as you meet up with the Foot—exactly five seconds after you see the first of them—and getting used to a darker environment now means that you won't be blind then."

"Got it. Let's go."

It didn't take long to find the Foot; things echoed like crazy in the tunnels, off both the water an' the walls, which those idiots obviously didn't know. Even though none of 'em were talkin', whispers of sound as they moved floated back through the tunnel, which made it really frickin' easy to sneak up on 'em. We inched around one more bend an' saw the first group, then stuffed our sunglasses in our pockets as we heard Don whisper "now."

Everythin' went pitch-black. The Foot idiots started yappin' at each other, an' we flew forward under the cover of the sound.

For all Don and Leo's worryin', it was as easy as I thought it'd be; the Foot had only ever had strength in numbers, not skill, an' this was still our home turf. Even without plannin' out every single freakin' step the way we had, I still figured we coulda taken 'em easily. They were blind as bats an' had no idea what to expect. We just plowed through 'em like we always did, an' I was glad to see that I was back up to my usual speed. Still, as much fun as it was to kick some ass, I kept lookin' around for Don; I'd expect to see three of my bros, and only seein' two each time I looked was…weird.

Even with only three of us, though, the "fight" was over in about five minutes, an' from what I could tell, all of the Foot were seriously unconscious.

Leo looked around, doin' a damage check. He glanced at me before touchin' Mikey gently on the back. "Everyone okay?"

Mikey grinned and waved him off. "I'm fine; I needed to limber up anyway."

I had no clue what that was about, but whatever; maybe they'd had an accident durin' trainin' or somethin'. I bent down, pretendin' to check one of the unconscious idiots, an' tagged one of 'em with a bug. "Yeah, 'm good. Like it's any surprise."

Mikey winked, hammin' it up, the doofus. "Let's go take care of the rest of 'em; I don't wanna leave Donnie by himself any longer than we have to, not if Sensei—"

"That's enough, Mikey," Leo interrupted.

I snorted. This just felt stupid, but Mikey, of course, was having a riot. "I told ya, you guys didn't have to come if you were so worried about leavin'. I coulda handled it alone."

"Not an option, Raph," Leo said quietly, raisin' an eyebrow. He knew I was at least partly serious, not just playin'. "I'm not risking anyone else being—out of commission."

Damn, but he was good at this; the slight pause, the catch in his voice—if I hadn't known better, I even woulda thought Leo was worryin' about somethin' for real.

"I'm just sayin'—"

"You're always 'just saying'," Mikey interrupted. I could see him bitin' his lip, tryin' not to laugh as the sound of shiftin' echoed behind us; at least one of the Foot was conscious and listenin', an' they obviously thought we couldn't hear 'em. "Leo's right," he continued, his voice crackin' a bit as he tried not to laugh. "Now's really not the time to go solo, Rambo; Don doesn't need anyone else to take care of."

Little jerk was just takin' advantage of the situation now. But if he could, so could I. "Why the hell d'you think I'd need taken care of afterwards? It's just the Foot. Even _you_ could take 'em alone."

"Of course I could, I'm the Battle Nexus Champion!"

More shiftin'. I was about to start laughin' myself.

"Guys." The annoyance in Leo's voice wasn't faked; he never did have much of a sense of humor during missions. "That's enough. We've still got another group to deal with, and we're going in nearly blind as it is. We really don't need you two giving them any warning that we're coming."

I snorted. "What, would they use the extra two seconds of warnin' to suddenly develop skills or somethin'?"

I could see Mike pinch himself to keep from laughin'. "He's got a point, Leo. We're not exactly having a lot of trouble, even when it's just—just three of us."

The water at my feet rippled as a not-so-unconscious Foot flunky twitched slightly a couple inches away. I had to hand it to 'im, Mikey could piss off anyone he met, whether he even talked to 'em or not. I stuffed my fist in my mouth to keep from crackin' up.

Leo glared at me an' tapped Mikey on the back sharply, makin' him wince. "Still. On the off chance that they do at least have someone to _watch their backs_—" Mikey looked embarrassed for some reason, and I felt like I was missin' somethin'. "—Then we need to keep moving." He gave me a warning look, an' I held my hands up in surrender. "Come on."

We headed off for the next location an' cleaned that group up too, and surprise, surprise, it didn't take any longer than it had the first time.

What a shock.

It was weird to be so close to the old Lair, though, an' I wasn't all that comfortable with the Foot bein' so close to one of our old homes, even if we weren't livin' there any more. I was pretty sure Don long since gotten all of his gadgets out of there, so it wasn't like there was anythin' for the Foot to find, but still—lettin' people see your home territory always gave 'em an edge, no matter how old it was. "Hey, Leo."

Leo cocked his head towards me as he messed with the toy Don gave 'im, waitin' 'till it beeped softly. "Yeah?"

"Shouldn't we get these guys outta here?" I asked, kickin' one of the flunkies sprawled at my feet. I could tell from the tension in his body when my foot connected that he wasn't unconscious, an' wondered which one of us hadn't hit 'im hard enough. Still, he was useful as a "spy", so I was nice an' pretended to believe him while he played possum.

Leo tucked the radio gun thing back into his bag an' shook his head. "It'll take too long. Just leave them. Besides, I think we've made our point, and we've got bigger issues to deal with."

Mikey walked over to us on some of the clearly unconscious dirt bags, hoppin' on 'em like steppin' stones and noddin' that he'd gotten his bugs distributed too. "Can you guys argue as we leave? 'Cause I wanna get back. We've already been gone almost an hour, and Donnie's probably ready to build a robot army and send it after us."

I shrugged an' glanced at Leo. He looked around a little, one hand flexin' on the handle of a sword. "Leo?"

"Yeah. Yeah, let's go."

We headed off down the tunnel, with Leo bringin' up the rear. I could tell from how quietly he was walkin' that he was listenin' carefully, expectin' whichever Foot ninja that were still conscious to mount a sneak attack, but they obviously decided that stayin' down was their best option.

Smartest move they'd made in a while.

Our headsets clicked again halfway back to the manhole we'd come in at, an' Don murmured quietly that we'd gotten all of 'em (obviously), no one was followin', an' no reinforcements were on their way. We told 'im we'd see 'im back at the apartment in a few minutes an' turned off our headsets before the batteries died.

What with Leo takin' his time playin' watchdog, Mike an' I were the first to reach the ladder. I was wonderin' why the chucklehead was bein' so quiet—he hadn't complained about gettin' sewer scum on his pants for at least five minutes—when he spoke up.

"It…it didn't really feel right, did it?" Mikey asked, flickin' at the chain on his 'chuck.

I wanted to just brush it off, 'cause this kinda stuff had never been my forte, but…but it was Mike. I couldn't do that to him. An' besides…I knew what he meant. "No. No, it really didn't." I sighed. "But Don…he ain't willin' to look back quite yet, and 'til he is, he's just gonna be part of the team from his computer. Still here, just…not right beside us."

"It just…it's like a wobbly chair, you know? Like one leg is missing, so we're all unbalanced."

Much as I hated to admit it, he had a point; we were used to coordinatin' with the four of us, and havin' one part missin' was just…it threw things off. We'd have to make sure we didn't try anythin' more than these little hit-an'-run deals for a while, 'cause sooner or later one of us would be expectin' Don to be there, an' then we'd prob'ly screw up before we remembered he wasn't.

Shell. More an' more crap to deal with, an' I was the guy who had to try an' talk to the little dweeb. Or maybe I'd just set Mikey loose on 'im, see if Mikey couldn't lay down a guilt trip or somethin'. He was good at that.

I scruffed Mikey's head 'til his stupid beanie fell off an' then threw it at 'im. "We'll worry about fixin' chairs later, blondie; let's just get home for now before you start to smell any worse."

Mikey stuck his tongue out at me an' jammed his hat back on his head. "Oh right, like you've been down here running through a bed of roses," he grumbled.

I waited for Mikey to make it to the top of the ladder before steppin' towards it; years of experience had taught us that standin' right at the base of a ladder made you a great target for drips or whatever nasty stuff could be kicked off of the ladder rungs—whether on purpose or on accident.

Bein' brothers, the "on accident" bit happened a lot less often.

I waited for Mikey's hissed "all clear" before I glanced back for Leo. "Hey, you ready to—"

Leo was standin' back a couple feet, just inside the circle of light that the streetlights cast down the manhole with his hand against the tunnel wall, starin' at the splay of his fingers against the stone.

I frowned. "Leo. You ready to go?"

"I—I don't know." Leo let out a shaky breath, just a hint of a laugh trailin' at the end of it. "It's been almost three months since we last did anything like this, since we were even down here, so how—" His voice broke off suddenly. "How can it feel right to be back here?"

Apparently everyone was gonna have an existential crisis tonight; I was so not the one to deal with this. "Because it was our life for so long, Leo. Like you told me, you can't expect everyone to adjust quickly; 'specially not you, given how much you pour into things." I reached out an' grabbed Leo's shoulder, tuggin' him towards the ladder. "C'mon. We don't get outta here soon, Donnie's gonna blow a gasket."

Leo let himself be pulled complacently. "I think…you know, I think I could have been happy," he said softly. "I mean, even if this was all we had, if this change hadn't happened…I think I could have been happy with our old life for however long we lived, or—or at least content. Maybe it wasn't always good, but it was…comfortable. I knew where I stood."

I felt a chill go up my spine; the thought of stayin', of livin' out the rest of our lives in the sewer an' the shadows, made my skin crawl now. After seein' the light, as it were, an' livin' aboveground…I couldn't go back. I swallowed an' gave Leo a gentle shove towards the ladder. "You've just got to find your feet topside, that's all. You're okay with it just 'cause you never learned how to ask for things or expect anythin' good for yourself. Give me an' Mikey a couple months, we'll teach you how to be a greedy bastard."

Leo laughed quietly. "Sure. Sounds good." He checked his swords an' headed up the ladder carefully.

Even though I felt stupid, I paused a moment to stare into the tunnel, eyes strainin' as I looked at where the walls melted away into darkness. "He's not yours. Not anymore."

Damn if I knew who I was talkin' to: our past, the Foot I knew were behind us, whatever…the point still stood.

We were leavin' that behind, an' we were takin' Leo with us.

* * *

I woke up with a start later that night, teeth clenchin' on a yell, an' jackknifed up to find myself pantin' in the middle of the floor. I glanced around jerkily, findin' myself in a pile of sheets just next to the bed, sweat already chillin' on my chest an' forehead.

I nearly got my second heart attack of the night when my door flew open to reveal Don, hair mussed an' backlit by the hallway light. "Raph? Are you alright?" His eyes darted around the room, lookin' for the source of the noise like he was expectin' an attacker or somethin'; I appreciated the fact that he didn't automatically think I was chillin' on the floor 'cause of a bad dream.

It took a couple seconds for me to shake it off, but I let out a slow breath an' hauled myself off the floor, vaguely amused to see Don clutching his bo; seemed even for Mr. Compartmentalize, some habits died hard. "Yeah. Yeah, 'm alright; just a—bad dream."

Don blinked a few times, then seemed to relax, leanin' against the doorway. His eyes were locked on me, bags an' all from the rude wake-up. "You haven't had one that bad for a while," he said cautiously.

"Yeah, you're tellin' me; haven't missed 'em either." I rubbed my hands down my face, grimacin' as afterimages flashed behind my eyes.

I could hear Don shiftin' slightly in the doorway. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. No, but thanks, Donnie. I just…need to shake this one off," I said lowly, standin' up and dumpin' the sheets back on the bed. "You go back to sleep; I'm gonna watch some TV for a bit."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Gotta get your beauty sleep."

Don nodded slowly, gamely quirkin' a smile at the weak joke. "Sure. If you need to talk…"

I nodded. "I know, your door's open. I appreciate it, Donnie."

"Just as long as you know." Don patted me on the shoulder as I walked past, then shuffled back to his own room.

I waited 'til I heard Don's door close before shovin' open the window to the fire escape an' climbin' outside, breathin' heavily in the cool night as I dropped to sit on the metal landing.

Don was right in sayin' I hadn't had a dream that bad in a while; the past few months especially, there'd been a lot less ugly stuff for my mind to play with at night.

This time, though…it was one of those deals where your brain just takes somethin' normal an' shows ya just how wrong it coulda gone. In my case, it had been that stupid little instance with Leo earlier that night; didn't take any more than a minute, him an' his whole "I think I coulda put up with this forever if I had to" martyr bit down in the sewers, but it still—still screwed me up, apparently.

In my dream, we'd been back down there, everythin' exactly the same…'cept this time when I reached for Leo, he pulled back, steppin' back further into the shadows. I'd moved after him, but for some reason I couldn't leave the circle of light comin' down the manhole, an' I couldn't quite reach him. I'd yelled at him to stop bein' stupid, to just come on, but he hadn't listened. A second later the dark had started risin' up his body like he was sinkin' in water, 'til I was standin' there watchin' the whites of his eyes go black an' disappear. The circle of light had started closin' around me at the same time, an' I'd lunged for him, only to pull back a handful of shadow.

An' that was when I woke up, freakin' out like—like it mattered an' wasn't just a stupid dream.

I stayed out on the fire escape for about half an hour, just listenin' to the sounds of New York at three in the mornin', an' finally went in when I stopped bein' able to feel my toes. Stupid as it was—it was just a dream, for cryin' out loud—I did want to talk to someone about it, an' finally figured I'd stop by Case's place an' see if April was in later; much as I appreciated the offer, Don didn't need to hear this. He didn't need to know I thought Leo might have trouble lettin' things go completely, or that I was freakin' out about stupid stuff. April was used to listenin' to us, and she knew what to say, an' more importantly, how to keep her mouth shut, which was somethin' not all of us had mastered.

By that point, just spendin' so much time thinkin' about how to try an' deal with all this crap had exhausted me again, and I fell back into bed, hopin' I wouldn't have any more stupid dreams.

Bein' philosophical was Leo's shtick, an' he could keep it. But even all this thinkin' about crap wasn't helpin'. I couldn't make Leo understand that there was more to life than just not hatin' the prospect of wakin' up every morning, just like I couldn't make Don understand that our change had made us blend, not disappear.

Basically, all my damn problems boiled down to the fact that like always, I still couldn't fight what I couldn't hit.

* * *

**Karai**

I glanced up at a slight whisper of sound to see several of my ninja kneeling at the doorway, waiting for permission to enter. I had to struggle to bite back a surge of annoyance; between the daily minutiae of running a business and several meetings, this was the first chance I had had all day to look over my accounts and try to find some loopholes for myself. The fact that I hadn't, and that I had been interrupted, did nothing to improve my temper. However, I was still the Shredder, and my father's clan was just as much my responsibility as his business was. "Enter," I ordered, setting down my pen.

My ninja came closer and took up position in front of me, and I frowned as I saw the state they were in. Several of their uniforms were torn, many were filthy, and they smelled abominably. I began to regret my order that they always report to me immediately after coming off of their patrols. "Report."

"We encountered the Turtles, mistress," one ninja began, my muscles tensing as he spoke, "in the sewers near their old stronghold—the one we discovered. They seem to still have their sensors and equipment established there, because they attacked us little more than half an hour into our patrol, and cut the power in the tunnel to…take us by surprise."

I kept my lip from curling in disgust, but only barely. Pathetic; this is what I was left with? These sad excuses for soldiers? My men were not being stringent enough in their recruiting, if my ninja could not bring my victories with three to one odds, unfamiliar terrain or not. I needed to train them harder, to weed out the weak and useless myself—but I didn't have the time. Just like everything else, I did not have the time to handle this issue as well as everything else on my plate. I wondered when my clan's skills had first begun to deteriorate, and if I could have stopped it. By appearances, I still had their loyalty, but I knew the dungeons held dissenters, something else my father never had to deal with. I couldn't keep from wondering morbidly, if I ordered all those I had left to commit seppuku, would they obey?

It would be one less problem for me to deal with, at least.

But that was hardly helpful. Some of these were still my father's men, chosen by him; they were, in theory, still useful. "Is that all the news you have for me?" I asked lowly.

"No, mistress. We were also able to catch this conversation when the Turtles thought themselves unobserved." He set a small tape recorder in front of him and pushed a button.

At first all I heard was static and the sound of breathing, and I realized that the recording had come from one of my soldiers' own earpieces; they must have been faking unconsciousness in order to be close enough. While I appreciated the results, the action itself still disgusted me.

"_Everyone okay?"_

I stiffened at the sound of Leonardo's voice in my chambers, even if it was only through a recording. I knew his voice almost as well as my father's, though the sound filled me with rage.

"_I'm fine; I needed to limber up anyway."_

Michelangelo was alive as well. How wonderful.

"_Yeah, 'm good. Like it's any surprise."_

And Raphael. I at least had confirmation that it was, indeed, the Turtles who had attacked, not the Purple Dragons or some other contingent. I had not yet heard Donatello, however, which was odd.

"_Let's go take care of the rest of 'em; I don't wanna leave Donnie by himself any longer than we have to, not if Sensei—"_

"_That's enough, Mikey,"_ Leonardo interrupted.

"Stop the tape," I said suddenly. "Play that last segment again." I listened carefully, focusing on every nuance of their voices.

"_I don't wanna leave Donnie by himself any longer than we have to, not if Sensei—"_

"_That's enough, Mikey."_

So the rat was in some sort trouble, ill or injured. I had been right about their absence. And apparently, it was dire enough to require that Donatello remain at the rat's beside, leaving his brothers to work as three, rather than four. This was a weakness I had to take advantage of. "Continue," I ordered.

"_I told ya, you guys didn't have to come if you were so worried about leavin'. I coulda handled it alone."_

My eyes narrowed; the only thing worse than Raphael's hubris was the truth in it.

"_Not an option, Raph." _Leonardo, again._ "I'm not risking anyone else being—out of commission."_

"Play that section again," I ordered. I waited for Leonardo to speak, listening for—there it was again. A slight hesitation, a quiver in his voice. Leonardo had no weaknesses that I had found other than his family—except perhaps his naïveté. Only a true threat would affect him, especially if he was trying to phrase it so delicately—"out of commission"…a polite way of saying useless. So it was serious, then.

"_I'm just sayin'—"_

"_You're always 'just saying'." _Michelangelo again, and his voice sounded—odd. Slightly choked, a bit strained_._ I don't think I'd ever heard him in such a state before._ "Leo's right, now's really not the time to go solo, Rambo; Don doesn't need anyone else to take care of."_

"_Why the hell d'you think I'd need taken care of afterwards? It's just the Foot. Even you could take 'em alone."_

I looked forward to the day I could skin Raphael myself for his words…just as I mourned the days when _no one_ would have spoken of the Foot with such blatant disrespect.

"_Of course I could, I'm the Battle Nexus Champion!"_

"_Guys. That's enough. We've still got another group to deal with, and we're going in nearly blind as it is. We really don't need you two giving them any warning that we're coming."_

"_What, would they use the extra two seconds of warnin' to suddenly develop skills or somethin'?"  
_

"_He's got a point, Leo. We're not exactly having a lot of trouble, even when it's just—just three of us."_

"_Still. On the off chance that they at least do have someone to watch their backs—then we need to keep moving. Come on."_

The recording clicked off.

"Play in once more," I ordered. I stared hard at my desk, thinking over and engraving the words in my mind, listing the facts as I heard them. The rat was either hurt or ill, and seriously enough that he needed a nursemaid—seriously enough that Donatello did not accompany his brothers, not even into a fight. It was serious enough that Leonardo was cautious, and brusquer with his brothers than I normally heard, and even Michelangelo sounded—off, not quite himself, though I was loathe to be so familiar with their normal speech patterns to be able to tell the difference. The only one who stood out was Raphael, but that was to be expected; I had not ever seen him show emotion openly before, save for that one time aboard my father's ship, and even that was quickly shoved aside for violence—the same way he wanted to go after the rest of my forces now.

I glanced up. "Did they say anything else? Anything about going home?"

"We captured a second conversation when they—met up with the second group," my soldier said awkwardly, rightly embarrassed to admit their defeat in front of me. "It is not as long, however."

"Play it."

"_Shouldn't we get these guys outta here?"_

"_It'll take too long. Just leave them. Besides, I think we've made our point, and we've got bigger issues to deal with."_

"_Can you guys argue as we leave? 'Cause I wanna get back. We've already been gone almost an hour, and Donnie's probably ready to build a robot army and send it after us."_

"_Leo?"_

"_Yeah. Yeah, let's go."_

I couldn't help another burst of anger. This had been the best chance we were likely to have to gain critical information about the Turtles' newest rat hole, and yet nothing. It stood to figure, though; Leonardo was much too cautious to risk such information being overheard. He was not the kind to take chances; even though he couldn't have known any of my ninja were listening let alone recording their talk, he hadn't been willing to let Michelangelo finish speaking about their rat master. And yet, as always, he couldn't completely compensate for his brothers' mistakes. Raphael had asked if they should move the bodies of my men, which meant we were closer than they were comfortable with to their hideaway.

Leonardo must have waited until now to go after my patrols because while they had been out in the city for weeks, they had not been in the sewers. That had to have been what drove him to act, even with only three of them to fight. He had dismissed the idea of moving the bodies, but that couldn't counter the telling fact that they had attacked in the first place—a defensive maneuver. Also, Leonardo had to know that moving the bodies would have been the same as openly admitting I was too close.

The problem, however, was that he would feel the pressure now, which would complicate things. After he attacked me in my own home, following my attack on their home, I could no longer assume that they would flee after an assault the way they had with my father. I, apparently, did not instill the same amount of fear—yet they were still anxious. And cornered beasts were always dangerous. It was unlikely that they would be doing any patrols if it was just the three of them, which would allow me to pull my men from searching the city. Still, it would behoove me to expect more assaults like this one on my men, and to be on my guard for a visit from Leonardo; I had no doubt he would be disinclined to be merciful should he manage to reach me again.

I bit my lip. While it was encouraging to know that I could move ahead with a few…business ventures without fear of interference, this evening's events might spur Leonardo to act. He would know that I would pursue him…and what if he decided to end things quickly, rather than remaining on the defensive? I could afford interference even less than ever, what with the negotiation talks set to begin in a few days—talks I was beginning to see I might not be able to avoid. I would simply have to be more aggressive with the search of the sewers; the sooner I flushed them out, the sooner I would have time to try and salvage my company, and stave off the sharks that were circling.

"Give me the recording," I ordered. I had to go over it further, to ensure I had picked all the information possible from it. A Foot soldier shuffled forward to place the tape recorder into my hand, then slid back into position. "Take half of the remaining forces that are on city patrols and switch them to the sewers."

"But that will leave us with only the barest amount—"

"I am aware of that," I snapped. I knew it would leave too few men to hold too many blocks of the city, but the Turtles were the immediate concern, not the piddling numbers of gang members or mobsters that would move in on free territory. I did not appreciate the reminder that we were stretched far too thin. "It is a necessary risk."

Another soldier spoke up. "What of the searchers for deserters, mistress? Shall they be pulled into the search for the Turtles as well?"

"Since it's been five months since I ordered the deserters brought before me, and you have found only ten of the suspected two dozen, you are obviously not making any progress. Switch them to the sewer searches."

All of them bowed at the ice in my voice. "Yes, mistress. We apologize."

I restrained a snort. Their seeming meekness was hardly enough to placate me, not when soldiers deserted the clan, and those who remained thought themselves fit to speak without my permission. "That is all. Go deal with the preparations." I waited for them to leave, slipping the door closed behind them, before I sighed.

Everything kept going downhill. Because of the state of the company, I lacked the time to train my ninja, to test their skills personally and deal with deserters myself. And though I trusted my lieutenants, as it were, they could only do so much, and there were obviously not a multitude of options in New York for new recruits. And so my forces continued to embarrass me, where once I could take pride in them.

Everything was falling apart; I wondered if I'd have anything left at all in a month's time. If my company was lost, what would I do? Seek to reclaim it? I had all the proof I needed right in front of me that I lacked the business savvy for that. If I was left with nothing but the Foot, I would certainly have the time to hone them to the weapon they used to be—but I was Oroku Karai, and I was disinclined to lose anything to anyone.

I didn't want to think about it. I would keep what I had, so that I never had to find out where I would be, what I would do, if I lost everything.

* * *

**April**

A knock on the door had me looking up from my sword practice. I didn't know who it could be; the guys normally gave some warning when they were gonna stop by—which happened unpleasantly infrequently now that they were so busy—and I couldn't think of anyone else who be visiting so early on the weekend. "Casey! Can you get that?"

"I got a face full of the underside of our sink, babe!" Casey hollered from somewhere in the bathroom. "Little busy here!"

Of course he would choose now to work on the leaky sink, as opposed to any time I'd asked him that week.

I made a face and sheathed my sword, setting it down on the sword rack I'd bought on a trip to Japan, then opened the door. I smiled at our visitor. "Raph! I wasn't expecting you!" I pulled him into a hug; a few months wasn't enough time to get over how different it felt to hug the guys now, and I was used to seeing them much more frequently than I had recently. "How are you doing?"

Raph shrugged, stepping into the apartment and closing the door behind him; it still boggled me how tall he'd grown, and how much more space he took up now. "Fine. Work's been goin' well, though you've prob'ly heard that through Case. We've been stayin' busy, and things have been…good lately." He jerked his head across the street to a neighboring rooftop that was often occupied by peeping toms of a ninja nature. "You been havin' visitors still?"

I made a face. "Occasionally. They're still not doing anything but watching, and Casey goes over and beats them up whenever he thinks about it. They've actually been there a lot less often lately, though I'm not complaining."

He nodded. "Good. How're you doin'?"

"I'm doing well. I actually had a collector come through the shop the other day and pay top-dollar for the porcelain collection I found in Venezuela, which made for a good week."

"Cool."

I pushed him lightly towards the couch. "Have a seat, and I'll grab some snacks. Do you want anything to drink?"

"You got any beer?"

I rolled my eyes. Only he and Casey would ask such a question at noon on a Sunday. "Why yes, I _do_ have some freshly-made lemonade."

"Ain't I lucky." Raph's voice was dry as the Sahara, and I launched an oven mitt at the back of his head, satisfied when it walloped him. "You've spent way too much time around Leo an' Master Splinter," he complained.

I raised an eyebrow at Raph as I handed him a glass of lemonade and set a plate of gingerbread cookies on the table in front of us. "I'm going to assume you mean my habit of trying to keep you in line, because I know for a fact that Master Splinter never threw things at you."

Raph grinned. "What, throwin' stars don't count?"

I had to laugh, and watched him out of the corner of my eye as he helped himself to some cookies. He looked good, but I could tell something was bothering him; all his normal mannerisms had transferred to his human body. The tense set of his shoulders, the tick in his jaw, and the way his hands kept fisting unconsciously, it all said that Raph had something on his mind. Plus, of all his brothers, Raph had never been one to show up at my door just for small talk, no matter how close we were; he just didn't have the patience for it, among other things. Still, I was touched that he'd come to me to talk. If he was here, it had to be something big. I sat back against the couch, figuring I had better settle in for a long haul, since things often had to build up for a while to drive Raph to want to talk them out rather than run them off. "So what's wrong?"

He slumped a little, looking glum to be figured out. "Is it that obvious?"

"Only to someone with eyes," I teased gently. "Really, Raph, what's going on?"

Raph sighed, rolling his glass in between his hands. "It's nothin' that's really wrong," he said quietly, not looking at me. "It's just stupid stuff. Some dumb dream that got me all bothered for no freakin' good reason."

"Tell me about it."

To my surprise, he did. He explained their plan to throw Karai off for as long as possible, how he, Leo and Mikey had gone into the sewers to deal with the Foot patrols Don had found, and the dream he'd had the night before. I kept an ear tuned towards the bathroom, making sure Casey wasn't coming; Raph was possessive of his tough-guy act, and I knew he'd be embarrassed to have Casey hear him talking about his dream, never mind how much they'd been through together. Raph finished and glared at his shoes, still not willing to look at me.

I sipped my own drink, mulling things over. Leo's plan sounded like a good one, though I was worried about the long-term, and frustrated that the guys had had so little time to themselves before trouble started up again. But this was about Raph, and I had to focus on that for the time being. I set my glass down, scooting closer to him. "Do you want to know what I think? I mean, if you're willing to listen to some psychoanalysis mumbo-jumbo."

"Yeah, sure."

"You're scared," I said carefully, squeezing his arm in warning when he tried to interrupt. "You're afraid that you're going to lose Leo back to the shadows of the past. You're afraid he'll stop trying. In your dream, you're standing closest to the light not just because that's how it was in the reality of this scenario, but also because you're subconsciously already allying yourself with the light, casting your vote for the surface world, as it were. You see yourself as the—the lure for Leo, the embodiment of what the surface world has to offer. Does that make sense?"

Raph frowned, not saying anything. I took the lack of overt disagreement as a sign to continue.

"When the light starts disappearing, let's say it's a—a symbol of your doubt, doubt that you're a good enough substitute," I said. "You're worried that the possibility of a new life with you and the others isn't good enough for Leo, that he'll prefer your old life because he's more comfortable there. You lunge for the ladder and Leo at the last minute because even with as much as you want to stay by Leo's side, you can't stay in the darkness any more. And when Leo disappears…that part's pretty clear; you think he'll choose the past over you. Not just this new life, not just the three of you, but you personally."

Raph dropped his face into his hands. "It's stupid, I know, but—shit, April, it _felt_ real as hell."

I gently took one of his wrists and tugged until I could grip his hand in my own. "But you know how it can't be real?"

"No."

"There are lots of reasons," I insisted. "First, this is based on your fear that Leo will stop trying, will slip back and away. But think about it; when has Leo ever stopped trying at _anything_? Especially when it's something important to or regarding the three of you?" I squeezed his hand. "Leo's one of the most stubborn people we know, and you of all people know that the best."

He snorted ruefully, but still didn't say anything.

I kept going. "And secondly, when has Leo ever wanted anything other than to just stay with you guys and look after you? I don't think he's ever once chosen himself, his desires, over the three of you. If he has, I certainly haven't seen it. And Raph…more than anything, I think Leo's wanted to reconnect with you for years; the separation while you grew up and apart hurt you both. He'd _never_ walk away from that, especially not in the way that you saw."

Raph's shoulders came down a little bit, and he squeezed my hand back once, but he still stayed quiet.

It was so hard to see that doubt in Raph. I was used to him always being so bold and self-confident and yes, even cocky at times. Seeing him questioning whether he was enough of a reason for Leo to stay—when he'd always had such doubts about measuring up anyways—it was painful.

"Raph?" I pressed quietly. "Talk to me."

He sighed, shaking his head. "Look, I knew it was a stupid dream anyways," he muttered. "But—thanks. It's just…I can't—I don't think I know how to do this, April," he said finally, his voice frustrated.

"Do what?"

"I don't know how to be Leo for Leo, to do for him what he tried to do for me when we were growin' up. I don't know what to say an' do to keep 'im from fallin' apart." He snorted darkly. "All those years I thought I could do it better, but April—I don't know how to do this."

"But you're going to anyway," I said with a soft smile. "I know you, Raph; you don't ever run from challenges. Maybe your approach is a little—rough sometimes, but you always mean well. And that's how I know you'll manage somehow. Not just because you promised Master Splinter that you'd look after Leo, but because he's your brother and you want him with you all the way. Just…just be that light for him, Raph; show him what all he can have now that you couldn't in your old life. You can't _make_ Leo find himself, any more than you could make him choose this life, but just keep offering him a hand up if he stumbles and someone to walk with, and I think that'll be enough." I hugged him tightly. "Leo's always oriented himself off of the three of you; he'll find himself beside you again, I know it."

He gave me a quick squeeze in return, and I sat back before I started to make him claustrophobic. "Thanks, April. Really."

I smiled. "Anytime. And I mean that, Raph. If you need to talk, I'm always here to listen."

"I'll prob'ly have to take you up on that," he muttered.

If that wasn't a lead-in, I didn't know what was. "Trouble on the home front?"

He scowled. "It's Donnie. Th' little nerd's just bein' so damn stubborn." I bit my lip as he looked over at me with a glare. "Yeah, I get that it's funny, pot an' kettle an' all that. Go ahead, yuk it up."

I shook my head, swallowing a laugh. "I didn't say a word," I said, hiding a grin. "What's he being stubborn about?"

"He still doesn't wanna believe anything's gonna happen. He didn't even come with us on this run, just stayed home to be our eyes an' everything. And yeah, that was helpful an' worked out to give us a good cover story, but I know that ain't the real reason why he did it. He doesn't even want to practice with me or Leo or Mike, either; he says he does some work with his bo in his spare time, but that's it. An' now somethin' really is happenin', and he doesn't want us to get involved." Raph stood up to pace, frustration in every line of his body. "I get that there's no good way to deal with this, I do. We're potentially screwed if we do anythin', an' potentially screwed if we don't. But either way, we gotta own up to the fact that this is our life, this is the kinda stuff we have to deal with. Pretendin' it isn't is only gonna come back to bite us in the shell." He threw up his hands. "I mean, hell, we've been model freakin' citizens this whole time, and this stuff is still startin' up. He's supposed to be a genius; why can't he see that it's proof that we can't get past who we were?"

Well. Whatever I'd been expecting, it hadn't been that. And yet, in a way, it made sense. "Raph, have you ever known Donnie to like being proved wrong?"

He looked at me, confused. "What? No. Well, s'not like it really happens all that often."

"Exactly." I leaned back on the couch, nibbling a cookie as I thought. "This is kind of Donnie's pet project. He's the one who coordinated everything, set everything up, went over every scenario and every loophole—supposedly." I smiled ruefully. "Unfortunately, a loophole has sprung up, and suddenly the Foot are back in your lives. This is after he said that it'd be safer, that you guys would be harder to find as humans."

"He's right," Raph said grudgingly. "I mean, we are safer. An' the Foot aren't even back, they're just…a little too close."

"Still, Donnie might feel frustrated that for all his planning, he couldn't avoid or prevent this," I said carefully. Don and Raph were so different, oil and water, that it was difficult to make them understand each other. "And Raph…you know he's always wanted to just have things be at peace. It can't be easy to see that threatened after such a short time."

Raph scowled and dropped back down on the couch. "I know. And I get that. I even get that _maybe_, stayin' out of things might keep all of this from startin' up again. _Maybe._ But if he's so worried about things gettin' messed up, you'd think he'd be more willin' to take steps to make sure they _don't_ get messed up, 'stead of just leavin' it to chance."

I nodded slowly. "You've got a point, Raph. But to be fair, there are a few times in your past when leaving well enough alone would have saved you a lot of trouble."

He hitched one shoulder, not willing to outright agree that I might be right. "Maybe."

"Probably," I countered. I grabbed the plate and our cups, taking them into the kitchen, and rinsed them off while I thought. "Tell you what," I called back over my shoulder. "Send Don over, and I'll talk to him. Tell him I want him to look over some coding for me. I can try and talk to him, see if I can't find out what's really bothering him."

"I can think of a whole list of reasons that wouldn't be a good idea," Raph replied warningly. "If he knows I asked ya—"

"I mean that I'll do it subtly," I retorted. "Unlike some people I know, I am fully capable of being subtle."

Raph settled again. "I'm just sayin', he hits hard an' yells loud for a nerd," he pointed out.

I laughed. It was good to see Raph had developed a healthy respect for Don over the years; it'd serve to keep him in line, and keep things calmer between them.

A knock on the door interrupted what I was about to say; I was surprised at how popular I was all of a sudden. "Who is it?"

A familiar voice wafted through the door. "It's Don. I, uh, need to talk to you about something."

I glanced over at the couch, only to see Raph was already slipping out the window, tossing me a goodbye salute as he closed the window quietly behind him and made his way down the fire escape. I rolled my eyes. Only men, and _brothers_, at that, would think it made sense to leave out a window rather than just greet each other. Raph had a perfectly good reason to be here, just as much as Don did, but did he stop to think about that? No. I could appreciate that he was trying to keep his concerns private, not wanting to explain to Don what he'd been here to talk to me about, but really.

Men.

"Just a sec!" I called. I dumped the used dishes and glasses in the sink, then hurried to open the door. Don stood on the other side, looking just as he had some of the dozens of times he'd stood outside my window: shoulders creeping up around his ears, one hand at the back of his head as he grinned sheepishly. As if I'd ever turned him away.

(Okay, _other_ than on date nights.)

"Don, come in! How are you doing?" I was determined to act normally, and while I wouldn't mention that Raph had been there—because I knew he wanted to maintain his reputation and not draw any attention to Leo—I wasn't going to lie about him being there either. I just…had to (grudgingly) admit that it would let me avoid a lot of hassle if Don didn't know what Raph had been here for.

He shrugged. "I'm fine. A little—I've got a lot on my plate, but other than that I'm alright."

I frowned. Don wasn't one to admit that things were bothering him without a little bit of cajoling; he'd never been one to complain, though he was more open and easier to get talking than Leo or Raph. Mikey, of course, never had trouble opening up. To hear Don say he was bothered by something…well, I wasn't expecting two of the guys to show up at my door with problems in one day, to say the least. Though the fact that it was _roommates_ who had shown up—that was more understandable. "What's wrong?" I asked as I led him to the couch, pushing the cookies slightly out of reach and handing Don a pencil. Don had a tendency to fiddle with things while he talked, or was nervous, and there was no reason to let him shred perfectly good cookies.

Don opened his mouth, then closed it, glancing at me sidelong. "Do you want the reason I came here, or the long version?"

"Both."

He blew out a breath. "Okay. Well, I know it probably won't surprise you a whole lot to hear that things are…a little weird still, in terms of adjustments."

I actually was surprised to hear that; of all the guys, next to Mikey, I expected Donnie to acclimate the best. "Really? What, at work or something?"

Don shook his head. "No, at home. As usual."

I nodded. "Raph."

There was the familiar exasperated expression I was used to. "Yeah. Raph. And it's not—don't get me wrong, I'm not saying things are bad, not like how we used to get along. He just…his temper and his hotheadedness and his tendency to solve problems with his fists, they all make it seem like that's all there is to him. And even though I know better, even _I_ get fooled sometimes, and think that he doesn't go any deeper. I forgot how much he can see of people, and how he just prods at what he sees until he gets a reaction. He's always directed that at Leo over the years, for the most part, to the point that I don't think I quite realized what it'd be like to have all that attention on me. I mean, I knew we wouldn't mesh perfectly, living together, but—"

He gestured haphazardly, a hand-shrug that was so familiar to him. It was oddly comforting to still see all these gestures in the guys; it made it easier to remind myself that it was still them, even in strange new bodies.

"Are you fighting?" I asked hesitantly. I knew what Raph had said of the situation, and I wanted to get Don's perspective; what Raph considered a disagreement or an argument, most people would consider a fight—but for Raph, fights normally involved fists, not words. Everything less physical than that was often just "talking," in his mind.

"No. Yeah. Maybe? I don't know," Don sighed. "Sometimes any kind of conversation with Raph feels like fighting. It's about our acclimation to our new lives. I'm trying to keep things separate, to make sure that I don't draw any attention. It's safest that way; we're already anomalies just by entering society the way that we did. Making spectacles of ourselves is the exact opposite of helpful."

"Did Raph do something?"

"Well—no, he didn't," Don admitted. "He just—he doesn't understand that there's no harm in being careful. He's never understood that. Raph still sees caution as cowardice. Except in Leo, then it's just fussiness, or over-protectiveness, or whatever. But me…just because I want to be careful, he thinks I'm going to extremes."

I raised an eyebrow. "You've got to give me examples here, Donnie; you're being pretty vague."

"I didn't go with them into the sewers."

I caught myself before I started to nod, not wanting Don to know I already knew the story. "When?"

"The other night," Don murmured. He examined his knuckles as he rehashed the story, Leo's plan, how everything had gone down, and his involvement—or lack thereof.

It was reassuring to hear basically the same account from Don that I had from Raph; knowing neither of them was blowing the other's actions out of proportion was a definite improvement from their teenage years. But as always, the guys were never as quick to see their similarities as they were to see their differences.

"I have to say, Don, your idea made sense. But was that the only reason you stayed behind, so you could run surveillance?"

He wavered for a minute, then sighed. I hid a smile; Don was so scrupulously honest that he couldn't lie if he tried. "No," he admitted softly. "I don't—this is a real chance for us, April, a _real chance_ to move on from what our life was. I'm not saying it was all horrible, or that Master Splinter's teachings didn't keep us alive—but because we had those skills, we got into a lot of trouble, mainly because we knew we could survive it. What I want to move away from is the danger, the fights, taking on old enemies, the constant risk of being exposed or losing our home. But it feels like I'm the only one who understands that sometimes discretion is the better part of valor. So I stayed behind, I guess as—as kind of a boycott. Master Splinter challenged me to be my own person, to stop being ashamed that I tend to side more with defense than offense…I'm not sure if he meant breaking away from Raph and Leo and Mikey…"

He broke off, biting his lip. "He probably didn't. Sensei has always said we're meant to fight together, that that's when we're strongest. But still, I can't make them quit, any more than I can make myself want to pick back up with the fighting. The risks are bigger now, if we get caught or found out, and I don't want to lose this."

I nibbled on a cookie as I thought. I understood where Don was coming from, because after losing my home once, and countless nights wondering if Casey and the guys would come back safe, I definitely understood the wisdom of lying low. At the same time, though, I had to say that I agreed with Raph on this one—a lack of involvement might lead to more problems than it would solve. "Do you think that they might have a point?" I asked carefully. "You know Leo doesn't take unnecessary risks."

Don sighed. "I know. I think that's what bothers me the most."

"What?"

"That Leo was right, about everything. About Karai's reactions to us falling off the radar, about what she'd do, what steps she'd take, everything. He got it all right."

I could feel my eyebrows knit; I was pretty justifiably confused. "Well, he is the most familiar with how she thinks. Did you want him to be wrong?"

"I…no. Maybe. Not so that I would be right or anything, but because if he was right, then that would mean things would start back up again. And now they have. And as much as I didn't want to get caught up in this again, I am. I have to be, because I can't just leave my brothers to go off and do these…guerilla assaults on their own, even if I don't want to be involved."

Poor Don. Sometimes I wondered if Master Splinter knew just how torn Don felt sometimes, between the gentleness that was in his nature, and the training that was in his blood. I took his hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "Don, as much as I know you hate to hear it, you've never _not_ been caught up in this, not even during the lull of the past months. Ever since you guys first fought the Shredder, battle has been an integral part of your lives, just like has been a part of mine since I met you guys." I held up a hand as he opened his mouth, forestalling the apology I knew was coming. "And I _chose_ that, Donnie, just like Casey did, because we feel the benefits outweigh the risks. We consider you guys and Master Splinter, your friendship and the family you've given _both_ of us, to be worth the danger. That's why we stick with you, and why we both keep training." I thought of the first time I'd met the guys, of the fight at my old apartment, when I'd been essentially useless during the battle. "I don't ever want to be a burden again, or be something to be used as leverage, and neither does Casey. And as unpleasant of a truth as it is, the fact still remains that sometimes you have to fight for things you shouldn't have to. It's been that way in every war; everyone deserves peace and equal treatment, but you always have to fight for it first."

Don fell silent, staring at the floor for several moments before he nodded. "I know," he said quietly. "I think I've known all along that this was more than just a possibility, but I guess—I guess I thought if I ignored it, pretended it wasn't, it'd go away. I just—the first real chance, April, and it only lasted this long. How is that fair?" He shook his head. "It's just—the way Raph went about it, like he always does, just made me want to work harder to prove him wrong. And I think, I think I expected Raph to understand. As stifled as he felt underground, being under Leo's thumb and Master Splinter's control, I would have thought that he'd want to just break free of all of that, and to understand how precious this new freedom is."

"Maybe what you need is to stop being the voice of reason."

Donnie looked gobsmacked. "What now?"

"Don, this is tearing you up so much because you think you have to be the voice of reason, because you don't think anyone else is fully considering the risks. But Leo is always careful, and I don't think Mikey or Raph are any more anxious to have things fall apart than you are. You've always been willing to step up to fight by their sides in the past; just stick with that, and trust them."

"But—but how am I supposed to stick with the past when everything's changed? Leo's not…he's not the leader any more. He's just our brother now."

I snorted. Only a bunch of guys who'd been competing with each other all their lives could find any merit in a distinction like that, in the supposed supremacy of titles. "Please, Don. Has that made him any less the oldest? Has it in any way changed his tendency to worry or plan or always try to be prepared? Did it in any way change the fact that when Leo laid out a plan, he covered everything, possibly even being a little extreme in his carefulness? Did it change the fact that you all followed him just like you have the past umpteen years?"

Don blinked, looking slightly sheepish. "Oh. No, I guess it hasn't," he mumbled slightly to the couch.

"Exactly." I nudged his head up with a knuckle. "Master Splinter telling you guys to act more like a family than a clan doesn't take the 'leader' moniker from Leo any more than it takes the 'ninja' one from all of you. You are who you are and who you were raised to be. My guess is that Master Splinter made that designation in order to get you guys to start thinking differently, to see yourselves as more, not to break apart everything you've known. It might be his way of subtly saying that you can live your new lives however you want. You're all still the same people you were a few months ago, just in different packaging." I patted his hand. "You can trust Leo to still be on guard, just like you can trust Raph and Mikey to always have your backs. But remember how he got after the incident on the Shredder's ship, Don; there's reasonable caution, when it comes to protecting the people and things you love, and then there's irrational paranoia. I know that you know better than I do which one drove Leo away from everyone, even himself."

Don paled slightly, looking like I'd just t-boned him with a semi. I might have pushed the envelope a little, but I wanted to get him to stop and really look at things, beyond his fear. One of the curses of Donnie's mind was that he couldn't turn it off, not even when it came to himself; he couldn't help seeing how things could go wrong, any more than he could help psychoanalyzing himself.

"I get it," he said quietly. "It's just…I can't help feeling I'm responsible for this, since I'm the one who argued for it and everything. And…I feel like I'm not supposed to just dump everything on Leo any more either; he needs to make his own life. He's not going to be able to do that if he keeps letting everything from the past drag him down."

"But neither are you, Don," I pointed out. "I won't say I disagree with you, but did you ever stop to think that maybe it's kind of comforting for Leo to have something from your old life that's still the same? I agree that he needs to let go of some of the pressure and learn to live for himself more, but that's going to take time. In the meantime, though, he has to have something familiar to ground him, or he's going to be too busy trying to stay afloat to even care about making any kind of quality life for himself."

He nodded slowly, and I could tell he was thinking over everything I'd said. I could tell some of it got across when some of the tense lines around his eyes eased a little, and he squeezed my hand slightly. "Thanks, April."

I smiled and hugged him around the shoulders. "Anytime, Donnie. And remember, what I said goes for you too; if you spend all your time fighting to keep from letting the Karai problem destroy things, it's going to do that anyway. Raph's got a point; if you walk on eggshells the whole time, trying everything you can to keep from drawing any attention to yourself for fear of ruining this new life, you're losing it anyway. You'd be letting this threat turn this new life into just another place to hide, rather than a place to really live."

As much as I didn't want to be in the middle of things, taking sides _or_ juggling two (supposedly) adult men, having heard both sides of the issue did make it easier to make Don see where Raph was coming from—now that I knew myself. And I'd never promised not to use what Raph had told me; though I'd never betray his confidence by telling Don outright what he'd said, I could hint at things, and let Don draw his own conclusions about how I'd figured them out.

It was hard to keep from smiling at Don's face after I finished; he looked positively offended to realize that in his effort _not_ to let Karai interfere with things, it was happening anyway—and even more offended that Raph had been right. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right." His jaw firmed slightly. "I get that I need to balance things, but—but I'm not going to bend on this, April. I admit we need to do something, but I'm still not going to endorse constantly rising to Karai's bait. We need another way. If we're supposed to be humans, we need to act like it. We need to beat Karai in the human sphere, publicly, so there's no way she can drag us down with her."

He had a good point, but I couldn't help but wish that they could have been spared all of this. "What you guys need is a break from being chased by psychos," I said tiredly.

Don laughed, and it was good to hear it. I loved the guys to death, and Donnie had always held a special place in my heart for being a fellow geek, but I could see why they had so many issues even with what should have been a dream come true; their problems were exhausting. I nudged him. "So when you got here, you asked whether I wanted to hear about the long version of things, or why you really came here. I'm guessing all _that_ was the long version, so what's up?"

I got treated to one of the most hysterically endearing sights ever as Donnie blushed until he looked like he was running a fever. "Oh. That. Well, um, I—kind of need some advice. I have a…date. Wednesday night. And I don't know what to do."

I couldn't help it. As soon as my surprise faded, I squealed. Loudly. The thought of Don on a date—it was adorable.

Of course, that moment was ruined by a loud thud and quite a bit of swearing from the bathroom, quickly followed by Casey stumbling out, brandishing a wrench. "What? What's wrong?" he asked, his hair askew and a somewhat frenetic look in his eyes. "Somethin' better be on fire or need an ass-kickin' if you're makin' those kinds of noises." He blinked at the sight of us just sitting on the couch. "Oh, hey Don."

"Casey! Casey, Don's going on a date!"

He blinked, then grinned. "Hey, way to go, man!" He slapped Don a high-five, then paused. "Wait, that's what the screamin' was about? I about cracked my head open, an' you're fine?"

I waved him off. "You've survived worse head trauma, you big baby."

Casey scowled, headin' back for the bathroom. "My own _wife_," he trailed off, muttering to himself.

Don coughed slightly. "Uh, actually Casey, if it's not too much trouble? Uh, it'd be really helpful to, uh…get a guy's perspective. On dating. If that's not too weird." He swallowed. "Please don't make me ask my brothers. Even besides the fact that they don't have any more experience than I do…please don't make me ask my brothers."

Casey paused, glanced at the bathroom, and shrugged. "Ah hell, it ain't like I was havin' any fun anyways." He plopped down in the chair. "'Kay. So whadda ya want to know?"

I flapped a hand at him. "Casey, we need the story first!"

Don stumbled his way through their night at the bar, how he'd met Nikki—who sounded like a great match for him—and their plans for Wednesday. Then he just kind of sat there, looking kicked-puppy hopeful. I cleared my throat and leaned forward; I'd be all talked out by the end of this, but I was glad to talk about something happy, rather than the danger the guys might soon be in and how to deal with it. Besides, it'd be worth it to make Don's first date perfect.

* * *

**Donatello**

The more time that went by, the more I was convinced that we were never going to be able to repay April and Casey for all the help they'd given us over the years.

Getting any advice at all about dating would have been a huge relief, and the fact that it was coming from April was twice as good; I trusted her like family, because she was. And I knew she would give me an honest, if exhaustive, list without any questions or teasing—except for the frequent, beaming smiles; and to be perfectly honest, I don't think she even realized she was doing that after a while.

She'd given me a rundown of just about everything, even stuff I'd never thought to ask about; what to wear, what kinds of flowers I should bring, how to deal with calling dibs on the check, and even some things to talk about. Casey had mostly nodded and agreed with everything she said, though he did have a couple tips of his own to add, which had actually been surprisingly helpful—what not to say, to not to try too hard, and at which point he'd found that most women considered chivalry to become chauvinism.

I won't lie and say I didn't go home and take notes on everything they said.

One of the many benefits of this date was that preparing for it had left me too busy—and anxious—to think about much of anything else, especially the talk I'd had with April. I appreciated having had the chance to work through everything and talk to someone who I knew would just listen, but at the same time…I really wished she hadn't said that Raph was right.

It was awkward enough thinking it myself; I didn't need someone else to confirm it.

I had, _maybe,_ taken a _slightly_ defensive position when it came to how I thought we should deal with things. And now…I could see what April meant in terms of taking things too far. So I was willing to adjust my thinking a little, because I could admit that any quirks we displayed were likely to be written off by our fellow neighbors, because everyone in this city seemed to expect everyone else to be weird.

But I still wasn't willing to bend in terms of how we would go after them. There was always someone watching everything in the city, because people were curious, and in New York especially, gossip and drama were what mattered. If we weren't careful, someone would see a trio of black-clad guys disappearing into the sewers, then reappearing hours later. Knowing our luck, they'd think we were terrorists, and the resulting fustercluck would be epic and inescapable. Besides, dancing to Karai's tune, just reacting defensively to her sewer patrols, wasn't going to help us. Yes, I could admit it would maintain Leo's deception, and be more than a little believable, but it was also just reaction; we'd never stay ahead of them that way. With as many people as she had, it wouldn't take long for her to scour the sewers, and then our pretense would be blown.

Which meant I had to keep doing what I was doing. I'd been tuning my surveillance equipment to the signal station that Leo had recorded from the Foot transmissions, and I was keeping a recording set there at all times. My next batch of viruses was ready to go out, and I was planning to slip over to the library later tonight to upload the next one. Breaking Karai down without a trace was still the best plan. It would keep her attention away from April and Casey, as well as us, and it would keep her occupied until I had collected enough information about her to give the police and bring her down.

I hadn't mentioned my plan to April, though I did want someone to look over things and point out any loopholes I might have missed. But more than that, I didn't want them involved; they were already in danger, what with the Foot spies that Karai still had set on their apartment. I'd just decided that I had to content myself with April's advice regarding my date, and there was definitely plenty of it.

Still, all the advice in the world didn't make things any less terrifying by the time Wednesday night rolled around. And even though I'd wanted to be punctual, getting to the restaurant ten minutes early had not helped my nerves at all; I just sat there pleating my napkin and nearly giving myself whiplash every time the door opened.

I swallowed nervously as I straightened my napkin again. I'd practically memorized the list of potential topics that April had given me, but I had a sinking feeling that I'd been losing a few every hour. What on Earth was I supposed to talk about?

The door opened again, and I glanced up to see Nikki walk in. Some of my concern disappeared even as the knot in my stomach grew tighter. I stood and waved hesitantly, my face warm as she smiled and walked towards me.

She looked great. I was glad I'd worn something nice, because she had decided on a loose, flowing skirt that drifted around her knees—she had really (intimidating) nice legs—and a blouse. And—I had to fight a grin—flip-flops. Suddenly she seemed a lot more human—no pun intended.

I smiled as she reached the table, fighting the sudden, inexplicable urge to offer a handshake. She smiled up at me. "Hello."

"Hi." I suddenly remembered myself and pulled her chair out for her. "You look nice."

"Thank you. So do you." Her mouth twisted a little. "That could have been a lot odder if you'd said I look pretty, and I'd replied the same."

I grinned. "I'd probably take it as a compliment just the same."

Nikki tilted her head to the side, and I found myself thinking of birds suddenly. "You're rather unsettled, aren't you?"

My first instinct was to deny it, but if it was that obvious, there was no point. "This is all very new to me."

"You're used to having everything planned out?"

If only she knew. "Well—yes, probably. It's a hazard of being cerebrally-oriented."

She nodded. "You should try being a little more spontaneous. It's good to push your boundaries."

I blinked. She sounded like an odd combination of Raph and April. "Probably, but it's not that easy."

Nikki shrugged. "Neither is computing situational probabilities, but you probably do that on a regular basis." Something seemed to occur to her. "Are you busy next Saturday? If not, I'll take you with me."

That sounded kind of ominous, though I was flattered to be asked out again—four minutes into our first date.

(…Was that normal?)

"Take me where?"

Nikki just smiled. "You'll find out if you come along."

I was used to getting taunts and challenges from my brothers; it was a hazard of siblings everywhere. Usually I was good at saying no and saving myself potential embarrassment and/or bodily harm. However, Nikki was a lot more attractive than my brothers. "Alright," I agreed. "It's a deal."

"Excellent. So tell me about your brothers. You mentioned them, but I only met Raph."

I spent the rest of the night describing my family, and given their personalities, it was easy to just talk about them, not what they did. I described Mikey's optimism, Leo's steadfast cool head, and Raph's inimitable stubbornness. In turn, Nikki revealed she was an only child, something I could scarcely wrap my head around, and talked about her parents. My coverage of Master Splinter was a bit vague, and I was glad that Nikki didn't seem to have any lack of conversation topics.

Still, when we had finished our meals and were heading out of the restaurant, I was surprised to realize how much I'd said. I'd kept track mentally, making sure I didn't say too much, but even then I'd basically told Nikki my family history—the edited version, at least. I steered the topic towards her, asking about her schooling as I walked her home. We skirted the edge of Central Park, taking the outmost walking paths as we made our way back to her apartment. It was the perfect evening, and just like on my first day of work, I had to stay focused in order not to be distracted by how surreal everything was. Instead, I squeezed Nikki's hand where it was tucked into mine, somehow unsurprised when she turned the conversation back towards me.

I glanced up in time to pull us to the side as a rather careless and unobservant biker went past, glad for the distraction. "I feel like you're trying to profile me," I said teasingly.

Nikki blinked. "I am," she replied honestly, not noticing the way my fists clenched in instinctive paranoia. "You're very different from other people, in how you carry yourself, speak and act. You're…you're an anomaly. You kind of confuse me, to be honest. And I want to know why I can't figure you out; I'm normally better at it. I'm not trying to be nosy, but I've always enjoyed solving puzzles." She carefully took my hands. "If I push too far, though, let me know. It doesn't occur to me sometimes, but not everyone minds unanswered questions. If there's anything you want to know about me, feel free to ask."

I met her eyes, thinking. I'd never met anyone like her, with her blunt honesty and shameless curiosity, and an intellect that matched my own. Still, I couldn't help thinking that there was a danger attached to being involved with someone as bright and inquisitive as Nikki; in just a few seconds of meeting Raph, she'd openly confronted us about being "adoptive" siblings. If she confronted me about other things down the road, would I be able to lie to her, convincingly? I hated lying to people if I didn't have to, and I really didn't want to lie to Nikki. But given what truths my particular "puzzle" would reveal, I could stand to be cautious. Still…that kind of a challenge was piquing my interest. Who would win, between the two of us? Could I keep her in the dark, letting her get to know me without giving the big things away, or would she figure me out? As much as I was worried about people looking too closely at our past and our cover story, Nikki intrigued me too much to consider the risk to exceed the benefit. Besides, April was right; I needed to live my life without considering how everything could be a threat to our secrecy.

I wrapped my fingers around her other hand. "There is one question."

Nikki nodded slowly. "What is it?"

There was no helping my smile. "What should I bring on Saturday?"

Her responding smile was definitely worth it, and she tucked herself under my arm as we resumed walking. "Old shoes. Clothes you don't mind getting dirty." She looked up and smoothed my hair down, something she'd been doing all night. "Also probably a hat, to keep your hair out of the way."

Well, that didn't sound too dangerous or potentially awkward. Maybe it was just a hiking trip or something. "Got it."

I couldn't help being both relieved and disappointed by the time we reached her door, because as much as I didn't want the night to be over, I kept expecting something to go horribly wrong, or to suddenly screw up. I usually only had this kind of stress when dealing with reactive chemicals.

Nikki lived in a cute little brownstone, and I walked her up to the door, wondering what on earth I was supposed to say or do next. I didn't think it was appropriate to try and kiss her, or to ask to come in, but maybe I was misreading cues or something.

Nikki saved me by taking matters into her own hands. She leaned up to kiss me on the cheek, smoothed my hair one more time, and stepped back. "I had a great time, Don."

I swallowed, trying to find my voice. "I did too. It was really great."

She smiled softly. "Give me a call sometime next week and I'll let you know when and where to meet me on Saturday."

"Got it."

Nikki nodded and let herself into the building, turning to wave at me. I watched until the door closed behind her, then stumbled down the steps, sighing with the tension relief.

Wow. Just…geez.

I was probably an excellent target for a mugging on my way home, because I honestly don't remember much of the walk, too focused on replaying the memory of Nikki's lips against my skin. I kept waiting to wake up, to find myself in the Lair with a shell and three fingers, all of this having been some sort of long, drawn-out fever dream.

I let myself into the apartment quietly, not sure if Raph would be asleep or not, and pressed the door shut carefully, setting my keys by the door. It wasn't that late, to be fair, but it never hurt to be courteous.

My heart nearly stopped as I turned around to see all three of my brothers sitting on the couch, Mikey and Raph grinning like idiots, Leo looking put-upon.

They didn't waste any time.

"Do you have any idea how late it is, young man?" Mikey demanded, wagging a finger at me. "This is not the hour at which a gentleman brings a lady home!"

Raph just sniggered.

My brothers were idiots.

I ignored them and headed for my room, running the last few steps as I heard feet behind me, and slammed my door shut, grateful I had a lock.

Of course, being that my door wasn't soundproof, I still wasn't spared.

"We shoulda checked his shirt collar for lipstick."

"So since you've got the long hair, who paid for dinner?"

"Guys, can't you just—"

"Did anything happen, Donnie? She didn't try to take advantage of you, did she? Remember to tell her that no means no!"

"If you said no, I ain't your brother anymore."

"Mike! Raph! That's totally inappropriate!"

I fell on my bed and crammed my pillows over my ears, trying to muffle them. I could still hear them squabbling and yelling "advice" as Leo dragged them away, and reminded myself to do something nice for him soon.

For the moment, though, I was busy remembering how Nikki had smelled like coconut when she'd kissed me. I'd never had any particular attachment to the scent before, but now—

Suddenly, even through the pillows, I could hear "Tale as Old as Time" from Beauty and the Beast start blaring from the living room, and Mikey's voice—he must have escaped Leo—back at my door.

"Just remember, Don, the Beast had a ponytail too, and everything went great for him! Don't give up hope, you can still—" He broke off with a choke, and a muttered "Sorry, Don" from Leo as he dragged the idiot off.

I pressed the pillows closer. Apparently my life was turning in to a romantic comedy.

Suddenly Nikki's status as an only child was sounding a lot better.

* * *

**A/N: **That was a fun chapter. Long, but I doubt anyone will complain. I tried to balance the insane amount of talking with some action, so hopefully that helped; Donnie kind of took over after a while. The guy had a lot on his mind. :b

And just a note, no, the random OC is not gonna show up again; he was just there to serve as an outsider POV on the guys. The idea for that just kind of came to me, and I had a lot of fun with it, so you'll probably get other little blurbs like that, strangers' perceptions and views of the guys.

As always, reviews are appreciated and delightful! Let me know what you guys think, if everyone's in character, etc. I promise things will start moving along faster now, but things can't be all action, all the time; the guys' growth is a major part of this story. Please review, and thanks for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

_Disclaimer: see previous chapters_.

Not much to say about this one, other than I wish I'd gotten it out sooner, per usual. It's shorter than the last one; I was going to have another scene in it, but that would have added another dozen pages and probably taken another few days to calibrate and polish it up, so I decided to split things. That way I could get this out sooner, and I also end up with part of the next chapter written. The way things are going, it looks like I can pretty easily do about an update every 2 months or so, so I'm going to try and stick to that as closely as I can. I can't make any promises about exact update dates, 'cause it never works out, but I'll do my best to stick to that timeframe. We'll see how it goes!

Anywho, that's it from me, and here's the chapter! As always, reviews are greatly appreciated, and so is concrit; let me know if the story's flowing alright, if you see any grammatical errors, and if the POV changes are messing anyone up. And thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far, and to those who reviewed the last chapter: Laughter's Tears, The Wolf's Shadow, ZombieNinja, Yoshi, Cross, Norse, Rhoda J, KriStALKaLEi, M, Dipsey, Kallasilya, greshunkai, bornstoryteller, 54Viruses, J-Kid, Kiyoko Michi, and Indigo the Hedgehog. Your support is appreciated more than I can say. ^_^

Also, just a warning, there are more new OCs ahead (but no Mary Sues, I swear I'll never do that to you guys), as well as some violence and Raph being a potty-mouth. Just so you're forewarned.

* * *

**Aaron Whittaker**

I was working on the computer when Mike knocked on the door, waving his notes. I glanced up and smiled, honestly glad to see him; for all that I didn't know the guy all that well and had offered him a job on a whim, Mike was one of those guys you couldn't help but like. "Hey, Mike. You get through those already?"

He grinned. "Yep. Haven't met a game yet that can beat me."

I shook my head and took his notes, glancing through them; the guy had obviously played games his whole life, the way he picked up things about the games he tested and came up with suggestions. "If you keep this up, we're gonna run out of ways to keep you busy."

Mike laughed and rolled his eyes. "Right. A building full of video games. I can see myself bored already."

Smartass. I couldn't help snorting. "Right, what was I thinking? Hey, sit down for a minute; I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

"Uh oh." Mike pulled out a chair, looking a little nervous before it disappeared under a quick grin. "That doesn't sound good."

I shook my head. "No, it's nothing serious. We're just starting a new requirement at the office, and I wanted to let you know while I had you here for a few minutes." I flipped through a few things on my desk, absently promising myself yet again that I was going to get a better organizational system, then grabbed a sheet of paper and slid it towards him. "Those are the minutes from our last board meeting."

Mike looked confused, but nodded slowly as he looked over the paper. "Gotcha." I watched as he read through it. "Uh…am I allowed to be confused?"

"Completely," I assured him. "It is kind of in corporate speak, isn't it?" He nodded as I took the paper back and tossed it to the side. "Basically, what it comes down to is this; the bigwigs decided at the last meeting that we should try and do a little more with PR, public relations, and try and take things in a new direction. You know, work on the company's image a little bit."

"Right." He nodded again. "Anything in particular?"

"They figured that as a gaming company, the public's opinion is that we're here to make games, and that's about," I explained. "We're not viewed as a serious company, and not one that people really expect a lot out of, other than in terms of the games we produce. So we figured we'd try and change that a little bit, by introducing some volunteering as part of the job requirements for the game testers." I winced a little, wondering what his reaction would be; the other testers I'd talked to so far had been less than thrilled by the news. "I know it's kind of a bum deal, only making your group the guinea pigs, but the PR team figured that it would help your images as well as the company's, kind of a way to show that you guys don't just play games."

Mike nodded again. "Cool. And…?"

I blinked. "That's it."

He blinked back, looking just as confused as I felt. "Wait, that's it? That's the big thing?" Mike deflated a little, sagging back in his seat. "Dude, I thought you were gonna start talking about—I don't know, certification or testing or stuff like that."

His relief was enough to make me laugh; I guess I had kind of wound him up about this. "No, just some volunteering, just about five to ten hours a week, whatever you can work into your schedule."

"Yeah, sure, no sweat." He paused, glancing at me. "Wait, were you expecting me to flip about this?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, a little. Most of the other testers weren't exactly thrilled; lots of people apply for and take these positions because it's about as far from a "real" job as you can get, in most people's minds. When we start trying to make this job more like actual work…" I shrugged again. I knew most people took this job 'cause it seemed like all play and no work; I was resigned to it at this point, and grateful for the ones who stuck around and actually worked at it, like Mike.

He snorted. "Whiners. Hey, man, I've got no problem with that. Is there somewhere specific I have to go?"

I shook my head. "No, you can take your pick. We've got a list of organizations that we've talked to that are looking for volunteers and agreed to take on some of our people." I handed him a sheet of paper. "Just let me know what looks good, and we can start getting you set up today."

"Sure." He glanced over the list. "Are there any that still need people? You know, ones that no one's signed up for?"

It was a good question. I ran over the list in my mind. "Well, we've already got a few people each for the food pantries, the Salvation Army, and some of the shelters. Not too many people have signed up for the hospital, though."

Mike glanced up at me, looking bemused. "What kind of volunteering can you really do at a hospital? They pretty much like to run their own shows, don't they?"

He had a point. I nodded and shrugged. "Generally. From what I gathered, they're looking for candy stripers, people to come in and talk to the patients, keep them company, that sort of thing. I think it's mostly for the kids' floors."

He glanced down at the list again. "I'll try the hospital," he said suddenly, handing the list back.

I couldn't help being surprised; I'd half expected that no one would sign up to help there, given the fact that most people preferred to stay as far away from hospitals as possible most of the time. Mike just kind of seemed to be full of surprises. I nodded, meaning the grin I sent his way. "Great. I'll call them now and let them know. Are you able to go down tomorrow afternoon and fill out some volunteer forms? I know you're not working, so you might already have other plans…"

"Nah, it's no problem; I didn't really have any plans for tomorrow."

I smiled. "Great." Grabbing a pen and a piece of paper out of the printer tray, I jotted down some directions and handed them to Mike. "That's the address, and some directions, if you decide to walk rather than taking a cab." I paused, staring at him, and figured that I had to say what was on my mind, even if I sounded like a PBS special. "You really aren't like most people I've met, Mike."

I couldn't help but notice the way he almost seemed to stiffen up a little at that. "In a good way or a bad way?"

"Oh, a good way, completely," I assured him. "You just—not to sound cliché, but you've got a good heart, man. Really."

Mike blinked like I'd slapped him in the face, then grinned so wide I thought his cheeks probably hurt. "Thanks, man. I'll head down there tomorrow, get things taken care of."

"Sounds good. Just so you know, we'll also be sending a copy of your application and work papers to them so they've got some background information on you and know who's coming."

He shrugged. "That's fine. Alright man, I'm gonna head out. I'll see you Friday and let you know how it goes."

"That'll be great." I reached across and shook his hand. "I knew I made a good choice hiring you, Mike."

"I think so too," he said with a cheesy grin. We both laughed.

I watched him leave, as he chatted with people he passed and waved at Cathy at the front desk. There really was something different about Mike that you just didn't see in most people, and I couldn't help wondering what his life had been like to make him turn out the way he did, being so flexible and just—a great guy.

I shook my head and got back to work. Only in New York would a nice guy be the kind of person who stood out.

* * *

**Master Splinter  
**

_My dear sons,_

_A month has now passed since our separation, and I can only assume from the lack of letters (as well as the lack of news reports of serious property damage within New York on the television) that all is going well for you._

_Still, a father enjoys hearing from his sons; especially when those sons have assured him that they would write._

_Frequently._

_My visit with the Daimyo was quite enjoyable—and quiet, Donatello, you need not worry about that; these two fathers are quite content to leave the excitement up to their sons these days. We spent some pleasant days discussing some authors we both were familiar with, as well as the states of our sons. Leonardo, I am sure you will be glad to know that his son is growing into a fine young man, one with a rather high opinion of you. His swordsmanship improves daily, and he looks forward to seeing you again in hopes of asking you to train with him sometime—train, not fight; a vast improvement over your last interactions, I think you'll agree. On that topic, he asked me when the next time was that you and your brothers were likely to come here to visit, and I said that I assumed it would be at the next Battle Nexus Tournament. Now that I think of it, my sons, I realize that I am unsure of your intentions regarding the Tournament. Do you intend to participate again this coming year? Of course, the Tournament is still several months away, but I have to admit that I am curious. Think on it, and let me know; I, of course, will not be participating, and I am in no way pressuring you to do anything you do not wish. Perhaps you wish to keep your first months or year confined to your new world, and that is understandable. There will be other Tournaments for you in the years to come._

_My time here at the Ancient One's home has been precisely what I hoped it would be, quiet and relaxing. The Ancient One has a lovely home, and the peace I feel here, in the countryside back in my homeland, in a much-needed balm for this old rat's spirit. I spend my days tending to the many gardens around the estate, and though they are all beautiful, the Ancient One's tea garden is my favorite. He grows his own tea plants, and tending the plants, harvesting leaves, and making my own tea is a delightful experience, and it keeps an old rat limber. The air here has brought back some of my energy, and it is a relief to be away from the bustle of the city._

_Whenever I have a free moment, my sons, I must confess that my thoughts turn to you; something I imagine will not surprise you much. I imagine that you have thought of me fleetingly only, and I am content with such a thought; it means you are busy and already thriving in your new lives. I trust you are guarding each other as always, and I hope that the city is treating you well. While I do not wish to pull you away from your new lives, I do want to mention that the Ancient One will be travelling on duties for the Tribunal, and he mentioned that he will be stopping by here to check on things and visit, and that he would enjoy getting to see you again. His travels will not lead him by here for a few months, so I hope that by then you will, perhaps, have a weekend to spare. The Daimyo said he would be glad to bring you over, since he would like to meet the Ancient One, and his son would be glad of your company so that he is not the only young one amongst a crowd of old men._

_For now, my sons, that is all the news I have to report, and I am glad to have so little of importance and nothing of dire urgency to write about. I am planning a visit down to one of the Ancient One's neighbors in a few days, an old medicine woman the Ancient One says is used to 'unusual characters', and who is glad of any company, no matter what guise it comes in. It is a few miles' distance to her home, and yet I feel up to the travel; there is a strange vitality in the land here, and I feel that I am beginning to understand how the Ancient One has lived long enough to gain his title and remain so…sprightly._

_I will close here, my sons, as it is time for tea. I have my first batch of self-made green tea in the kettle, and I am anxious to see how I have done in cultivating it. I love you very much, my sons, and know that my thoughts are often with you. Be well, be safe, and be good to each other._

_Your father,_

_Hamato Splinter_

I looked over the letter, assured that it was impossible to miss my request for letters. I sighed and looked out over the _engawa_ of the Ancient One's home, feeling calm settle over me as it always did whenever I admired the landscape here. I felt such peace being here, and it was a balm to once again see Japan, to be close to my Master Yoshi again in whatever fashion, even if only through memories and his final resting place. In truth, though I had told my sons I was weary, even I had not realized the full extent until I had arrived and been allowed to merely _be_.

Life in New York had always been vibrant and hectic, but of late, I found myself less and less able to hold up under the pace and the force of my worry. Here, though…here I had time for my thoughts and myself, and it was most welcome.

As I had said in my letter, though, I still thought of my sons often. The knowledge that I could visit them when I chose, and vice versa, did nothing to quell the ache I sometimes felt at not seeing them, at knowing they were half a world away from me now, when all their lives the distance between us could be measured in feet and inches.

I trusted my sons, though, and their intelligence and ability to adapt, and knew that they were most likely thriving in the city, just as I was here. Every day was much like the last, with few changes, and I found peace in the routine. I was alone but for a pair of stray cats that seemed to have wandered up the mountain by accident, and I spent part of every day slowly earning their trust, glad to have some company. Michelangelo's Klunk had rather endeared me to cats over the years, no matter the fact that they had been enemies of mine once upon another life, and I looked forward to the visitors every day. They still would not let me get too close, but they would sit just beyond the _engawa_ and listen to me speak, or follow me through the gardens at a distance, and they certainly had no compunctions about eating the food I left out for them.

Still, I did miss my sons, and even a letter would be enough to content me, since I knew that a visit so soon was unlikely (unless catastrophe had struck). I slid the letter inside its envelope, carefully writing the address that Mrs. Jones had called me with and gathering a few coins for postage for when I mailed the letter.

The act caught something in my mind, something I realized I was forgetting, and I pulled the letter back out, glad there was still a small stretch of space at the bottom.

_PS I realize now that you have no address for the Ancient One's home, and indeed, I don't believe mail can even reach this place by carrier. As such, I have included the address of the medicine woman, whom the Ancient One said has received messages for him in the past._

I glanced over the letter once more, considering my pointed reminders, and reminded myself who I was writing to. I knew my sons; subtlety was wasted on them most of the time.

_I will easily be able to receive messages at this address as well. Use it._

* * *

**Michelangelo  
**

I couldn't help grinning as I set the letter down. It was totally Master Splinter, from the not-so-subtle reminders at the beginning to the fact that he nearly wrote more about us than himself. It was good to hear from him, but at the same time…kinda weird, 'cause I didn't know about Leo, Raph and Don, but like Sensei had written, I hadn't thought about him all that often recently. Everything had been crazy busy, though Sensei and the differences between things now and the past twenty years were something I thought about most nights as I went to sleep.

Bad as I felt saying it, I was glad I'd been too busy to miss Master Splinter that much, because the times I did think about him and the five of us all living together in the Lair, going on patrols, annoying the crap out of each other…I missed it.

I wondered if this is what it's like for normal kids when they move away from home; though in our case, since home had always been our family more than any particular place, home had moved away from us, in a way.

I left the letter on the counter and pitched the envelope; technically the letter had been addressed to Leo, probably 'cause Master Splinter figured that that was the best way to ensure that the letter wouldn't get lost or forgotten about, and that we'd all actually see it that way. I'd recognized Sensei's handwriting though—or would that technically be paw-writing?—and figured Leo wouldn't mind too much if I opened it, especially since it was meant for all of us.

I'd definitely have to find the time to write to Master Splinter later; I wanted to ask him if he had any tips on bonsai trees for Leo—provided Leo didn't ask on his own—and I wanted to let him know how we were doing. For now, though, I was off on a mission:

Find the hospital.

* * *

New things were fun. Finding new places…not fun.

I totally hadn't realized just how bad I was at recognizing stuff from ground level. If I'd been on the roofs, I totally could've figured out how to get to the hospital, and probably in about ten minutes. Instead, I spent like…half an hour wandering around like an idiot, trying to figure where I was going. I finally gave up and got a cab, handing the weird-looking dude the address Aaron had given me and trying not to look embarrassed.

When I'd told him about it the night before, Leo had been a little shaky on the idea of me going to a hospital, even just to volunteer, but there wasn't a lot he could say when I told him I had to for my job. He'd still told me to be careful about a dozen times, and said I could call him if I needed to, even though he'd be out working too. I don't know what he was expecting, that a hospitalized kid would jump out of bed and maul me, or that one of the nurses would attack me with needles or what, but I'd learned not to try and figure out Leo's paranoia; Leo's head wasn't a safe place to spend a lot of time. I just nodded and smiled and told him to have a good day at work.

For the most part, our new life still didn't seem real. Doing things like going to work, volunteering at a hospital, telling Leo to have fun playing tour guide around New York…it still seemed like I was gonna wake up some day and just watch it all disappear, like a dream or another one of those super creepy hallucinations caused by the alien living in the Volpehart building.

If it was a dream, I had to give myself props for dreaming up something like this.

We finally pulled up to a freaking _huge_ building, and I was pretty sure the surrounding buildings were all part of the hospital too. And seriously, as many times as we'd gotten hurt and I'd wished we'd been able to go to a hospital rather than trying to recuperate in a sewer…suddenly I wasn't sure we'd been missing that much. The hospital was insanely big, and you'd probably get lost without a map.

_I'd_ probably get lost, ninja skills or not. I really hoped I had the right building, 'cause if I had to try and find another one, I was probably screwed.

I shoved some money at the mildly scary cabbie and walked into the hospital hesitantly, glancing around. This was a lot different than I'd expected. I mean, I'd seen some of the hospital scenes in Sensei's soap operas, and in Grey's Anatomy when I'd seen how hot some of the actresses on there were. But the one thing they never really showed—probably because they couldn't—was the smell.

It smelled like Bishop's lab, like medicine and disinfectant and just—everything sterile. I was kinda trying not to freak out, and finally edged towards the main desk, trying to distract myself by talking to the lady at the front desk. It took a few minutes of me standing there awkwardly, shifting while I waited for her to notice.

She did, finally, and smiled at me, looking tired. "Can I help you?"

I grinned at her, figuring she could use a little friendliness after a day of dealing with sick people and yelling relatives. "I hope so. I'm from Game On, and I'm here to set up my volunteering?" I slid across my driver's license and the paper that Aaron had given me.

Her smile widened, looking a little more like she actually meant it. "I'm so glad they do this. The city would be in better shape if more companies or even just individuals did this," she commented as she handed me a form and a clipboard. "Just fill this out, and make sure you note which department you want to volunteer in, if the pediatric ward doesn't work for you."

"Got it." I ran through the form, filling out what I could and hoping I didn't forget anything. I don't know how people remembered this much stuff on a regular basis; of course, I'd never had an address to remember before, much less an address, a phone number, and a job. It took longer than I expected to get through it, and I was glad to reach the end and hand it back to the lady.

She scanned over it and smiled at me. "The pediatric ward is alright with you?"

I nodded. "Yep. I figure the kids here need more help to keep their minds off things than the grown-ups do." I'd always kinda identified with kids pretty well—my bros would say it's 'cause I still am one—and I was willing to bet it had to be pretty creepy to have to be in a hospital at all, let alone when you were under the age of twelve.

"I think you're right." She fiddled with something behind the desk and nodded. "Leah is the intern on rounds in the peds ward right now; she'll be able to show you around the department. Did you want to start today?"

I shrugged. "That's fine. Thanks."

I'd been waiting for about five minutes, antsy to be sitting in the hospital and seriously hoping I didn't have to watch any accidents get admitted, when a redhead in scrubs stopped in front of me. "Mike…Hamand?"

I stood and nodded, grinning as she shook my hand. She was cute; there was no other way to put it. She was about two inches shorter than me, curvy, with freckles all over her nose. She had a lot more red and a lot less brown in her hair than Raph, and it looked a heck of a lot better on her than it did on him, anyway. "That's me. And you're…Leah?"

She smiled back, and holy crap, she had _dimples_. Like, seriously, dimples. I didn't know anyone with dimples.

'Course, I didn't know anyone cute, either (other than April), so that wasn't saying a lot.

"Yep. I take it you're our new volunteer?"

"Guilty as charged."

She nodded. "Alright, well, if you'll follow me, I'll take you up to the peds floor and show you around."

"Sounds good." I followed Leah down the hall, looking around and listening as she talked about the hospital, explaining the volunteering and the shifts I could take. I couldn't really help gawking; I'd never been in a hospital before, and didn't know they were this huge, or that they had some much expensive-looking stuff everywhere.

Leah paused and glance at me. "And this is the section you'll be working in."

"Cool." I checked it out, even though it looked like all the other floors, except with a few kid-themed decorations on the walls. "So I just go around and talk to the kids?"

"Basically. It'll vary; depending on what kinds of procedures are going on with the different kids, you'll either make rounds with one of us, help distract the kids while we do medications and so forth, or spend some time in the play area with the kids that are well enough to be out of bed."

I nodded. Now if I could just keep from freaking out about nurses with needles and not scare the kids, this would be great. "Awesome. Let's get started."

* * *

**Leah Wilson  
**

To be honest, I didn't expect Mike to be as good with the kids as he was. I hadn't met many guys who were good with kids, and most people tended to be either subtly or obviously uncomfortable around sick or injured children, especially those who were terminal or had cancer. But Mike seemed to be able to just see them as kids. He'd walk up to each bed as I went through their charts and meds, introduce himself, and then just talk. It was kind of amazing how quickly the kids warmed up to him.

I glanced at him as we left another room. "You're very good with them," I offered.

"Yeah?" He grinned brightly, and I had to grudgingly admit that he was unfairly good-looking. I'd learned the hard way to be suspicious of good-looking guys, but I'd always had a weakness for blondes. "Thanks. If you asked my brothers, they'd say it's 'cause I'm still half a kid myself."

"How many brothers do you have?"

"Three; I'm the youngest."

Three brothers. I couldn't help feeling sympathetic; I only had two, and they were plenty. "So where do you—"

A sudden bark surprised me, and I looked up to see Sid, one of the therapy dogs, come skidding around the corner, scrabbling at the linoleum. The Border collie came bolting towards us, and I braced myself to try and catch him—only to have Mike dart forward, faster than I'd seen anyone move, and snag the leash. Mike ran a few steps behind Sid, pulling slightly to slow him down rather than just yanking him to a stop.

I jogged over as Mike knelt down in front of Sid, speaking quietly as he rubbed the dog's ears. "Hey, hey, calm down, buddy. What's up, huh? You okay?" Sid whined anxiously and shoved his head against Mike's chest as he carefully felt down each of Sid's legs. "Hey, you're fine. Heck of an entrance, though, buddy."

"Sid!" Julie, Sid's handler, came jogging up to us, her face flushed. "I'm so sorry," she blurted, reaching out for Sid's leash.

Mike grinned and handed it over, rubbing Sid's head. "It's fine, he was just stretching his legs."

"I'm so sorry. An orderly dropped a tray about three feet from us and scared him—both of us, to be honest—and he just took off." She shook her head. "He's normally much better behaved than this, but I can't say I really blame him this time."

"How old is he?" Mike asked, standing up and shoving his hands in his pockets.

Julie seemed to really seem Mike for the first time, and her smile grew coy. I tried not to roll my eyes; Julie flirted about as easily as she breathed, despite the fact that she was already dating someone. I couldn't say I blamed her, because Mike was, well, attractive, but still. "He's about three. He's been here eight months, and the kids love him."

Mike grinned. "Who wouldn't?"

He didn't seem to notice Julie's flirting as I introduced them, or else he ignored it, and part of me was glad. Julie looked a little put out, but I doubted it'd stop her from trying.

The three of us proceeded along down the hallway, stopping as I checked on kids and Julie visited those who were up to the excitement. As we met back out in the hallway, I noticed Mike peering into one room.

He glanced back at Julie. "How come you didn't visit this kid?" he asked softly before looking back through the window in the door.

She winced slightly, dropping the flirtation for a moment. "He was in a bad accident, so his legs are in traction and he can't get up to see Sid. Plus the dogs aren't allowed on the beds…you know, assuming that I could lift Sid anyways." She sighed. "After coming by once, I realized it was cruel to bring Sid in when Alex—that's his name—can't even get up to pet him."

Mike didn't even take his eyes off the boy. "Can I try?"

Julie glanced at me, and I shrugged. "I…sure." She handed Mike the leash, looking confused.

Mike bent down and scruffed Sid's head as the dog did his level best to lick Mike's face. "Let's go, buddy." He walked into the room, tapping on the door only briefly.

The little boy, Alex, wasn't one of my kids, but I'd said hi before when I'd walked past. He seemed like a sweet kid, but at six, he wasn't taking the enforced bed rest that well. He glanced up as soon as Mike walked in, his eyes locking on Sid; he looked like he wanted to be excited but was afraid to be.

There was a grin on Mike's face. "Hey, man, I'm Mike. What's your name?"

Alex glanced longingly at Sid again, then met Mike's eyes. "Alex. Hi."

Mike stood easily, Sid beside him wagging slowly. "Nice to meet you. I heard you haven't had a chance to see Sid lately, so I figured I'd see if you were up for a visit."

Alex brightened up a little, then glanced at us and deflated. I knew better than to take it personally; most kids thought that the nurses were the bad guys, even though we just abided by the orders that came from the doctors and administrators. I was used to some of the kids thinking we were the ones to blame. "I can't get out of bed," Alex muttered. "Not allowed."

Mike nodded slowly, then leaned closer, speaking quietly as though it was a secret. "You're right. But what if he came to you?"

The little boy's eyes widened, and he glanced furtively at me and Julie. "That's not allowed either," he whispered back.

Mike winked. "He's not allowed _on_ the bed, but what about _by_ it?" He hooked his foot around the visitor's chair nearby and dragged it right next to the bed, then bent down. He talked softly to Sid as he carefully gathered the dog into his arms and picked him up before sitting down in the chair. Sid wiggled once, then settled, waiting to see what would happen next.

Alex looked delighted to see the dog at his eye-level. "Can I pet him?"

"Dude, you'd better; you'll break his heart if you don't," Mikey said seriously, leaning forward.

Alex scooted closer as much as he could, then reached out eagerly to run his hand over Sid's head. Sid seemed to understand that he had to be still, and contented himself with licking the underside of Alex's wrist. Alex's smile was so wide he looked like his face would split, and he giggled brightly. "His ears feel like my dog's!" he told Mike.

Mike grinned. "Yeah? What's his name?"

"Rufus."

"Good name for a dog. I've got a cat named Klunk."

Julie and I watched as Mike settled in, adjusting Sid so he was comfortable but still in Alex's reach, and the two of them started talking about TV. I had never thought I'd see an adult arguing with a grade-schooler about which Power Ranger was the best, but Mike and Alex were in their own world. I had to admit, he at least had good taste; he thought the Pink Power Ranger was an embarrassment too.

After about ten minutes, Julie shifted slightly, and before she even opened her mouth, Mike glanced at her, then back at Alex. "Alright, buddy, I hate to say it, but Sid and I've gotta head out now before his legs go to sleep. But we'll come back and visit you again sometime, alright?"

Alex gave Sid one more pat before Mike set him down, then looked up at Mike. "Promise?"

Mike held out his pinky. "Promise," he said solemnly as they linked pinkies and shook on it. "You take care, buddy, and heal up soon."

"I'll try. Bye, Mike!"

We filed out of the room, and Mike sighed, handing the leash to Julie with a grin. "Thanks for letting me do that," he said gratefully. "He's a good kid."

Julie looked at him like she was seriously considering jumping him. "Thank _you_. That was wonderful; I could tell he really needed that."

He nodded. "Everyone needs a dog sometimes. Let me know if there are any other kids like him that can't get out of bed to see Sid. I don't mind helping out like this."

"I'll definitely keep it in mind," she promised.

I glanced at my watch. "Mike, my shift is over now; did you want to stay a few more hours, or was this all you were scheduled for?"

He shrugged. "I didn't really schedule anything, but if you're supposed to be showing me around, I guess it probably makes sense if I'm here during your shifts. Are you in only on Thursdays?"

"I'm in on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays, the same times as today. Does that work for you?" I asked.

Mike made a face, and it took me a second to realize he was thinking. "Uh…Mondays and Thursdays do, Tuesdays not so much. I'll prob'ly just see you on those two days."

Julie reached out and squeezed his arm. "I come around with Sid on Thursdays, so I'll be sure to let you know if I need you those days," she said, smiling. "For helping with Sid, and the kids," she added after a beat.

I couldn't believe how obvious she was being, and it seemed like Mike finally picked up on it too. His eyebrows went up, and his mouth twitched once before he nodded agreeably. "Sounds good," he said mildly. "Alright, ladies, I'm out of here for now. It was night to meet both of you, and have a good night."

We waved and watched as he headed off, and Julie sighed beside me.

"If I didn't already have Steve, I would be after that in a _heartbeat_," she said bluntly, watching until he turned around the corner.

"I couldn't tell," I said dryly. "By the way, do you think he'll still be able to sit down, given the holes you're staring into the back of his jeans?"

"It's just harmless fun," she replied, then glanced at me, raising an eyebrow. "Unless that's not your issue," she teased. "If you have a problem with it, you should have made a move. Or you should make one soon; lucky jerk, you're going to get to see him twice every week." She sighed. "I mean, did you _see_ his arms? He lifted Sid like he didn't weigh a thing. Bet he's great with his hands…"

"Julie!" I couldn't help laughing. "We need to get you spayed."

She snorted and shoved me lightly. "More like we need to make sure you're still producing hormones. I saw him eyeing you, and you barely gave him a smile. Are you going blind or something?"

I sighed. "My eyes are fine."

Julie glanced at me, catching my tone. "Then what is it?"

"He's…" I paused, considering; Julie practically collected romance stories from anyone she could corner, but she wasn't a gossip, and she'd had enough boyfriends to be decent in the advice department. Besides, she was one of the few who knew about my past dates. "He's a bit too much like Tyler."

"Tyler?" She frowned, and I could practically hear her flipping through her mental catalogue of names. "That was your last boy, right? I forget what was wrong with him."

I shrugged. "He was a little too…aggressive," I said awkwardly. Tyler was old news, but it was still unpleasant to have to explain. "I mean, nothing happened, but…" I sighed. "He was good-looking and he knew it, and after so many girls telling him that, he got arrogant. And by the time he got to me, he wasn't used to the idea of a girl wanting to go slowly. He kept thinking I was just playing hard to get, and it took him a while to take me seriously. Then when he realized that I _was_ serious, he just left; didn't want to work for something he could get without trying, I think that's how he put it."

Julie frowned. "I remember him now. Seriously, what a douche. And what a waste of looks. But really, Leah, I don't get that vibe from Mike. I mean, seriously, a guy who's willing to haul a dog around for a kid he's never met and make a pinky promise to the same six-year-old like he's swearing into court…I just don't see him being a jerk."

I shrugged again. "Maybe you're right. But I only met the guy, Julie; give me a chance to learn something other than his name before you start picturing what our kids will look like."

She rolled her eyes but seemed to get the point, switching topics to her boyfriend Steve. I listened with half an ear, commenting when I could, and wondering if Mike would really just turn out to be another Tyler.

* * *

**Donatello  
**

When I sent out the first of my viruses, I'd expected the occasion to—I don't know, have some weight. I'd expected to feel accomplished, or proud, and while I did, a little, mostly I just felt—anxious.

What if I hadn't covered my tracks well enough? If anyone with any training—for example, Chaplain—was called in to look at the virus, provided it made it into the system, they'd be able to tell it was more sophisticated than your average Trojan or some attempt to steal personal information. I knew I'd taken all the precautions I could, but I also knew that sometimes that wasn't enough.

Still, I needed to focus on the fact that I was at least doing something, something to help, a small step towards making sure things could and would stay good for us permanently. In terms of extra precautions…well, there were other steps that I could take. The next time I sent out a virus, I'd make sure to do so from one of the many libraries in the city; even if someone was up to my level of hacking—which I doubted they were, given what I'd seen of Chaplain's work—the only thing they could get would be the IP address of where the virus had been sent from, and hundreds of people visited the libraries each day.

I was beginning to really appreciate just how effective the "needle in a haystack" kind of human anonymity was; it really was possible to hide in plain sight when you were merely one of a million. I, _we_, still needed to be careful, but really, given where we were now—

"Don."

Between the suddenness of hearing my name and the heavy hand that clamped down on my shoulder, I'm pretty sure I jumped about half a foot in the air. Instinct kicked in then, and I slapped at the hand and fell out of my chair as I tried to put some distance between me and my attacker.

By the time I gathered my thoughts together and looked up, Raph was standing by my chair, a combination of unimpressed impatience and humor mixed together on his face. "That was inspirin'," he commented dryly.

I made a face and stood, carefully avoiding the wires I'd nearly fallen on and trying to keep any hint of guilt off of my face; I wasn't doing anything wrong, just…unexpected, that was all. I still didn't want to deal with a bunch of questions. "Thanks. I'm fine, by the way, and appreciate your concern. What'd you want, or is this just one of those "heart attack" checks you and Mikey enjoy so much?"

Raph's face got a bit darker. "Something's up across the hall. The girl in 314? Her boyfriend or whatever went in the 'bout the same time I got home, an' the past five minutes I've been hearin' him yellin' through the walls. Someone just threw somethin'."

I couldn't help being confused. "Okay, so…" I paused, trying to figure out what this was about. "So do you want to go over there?" I asked carefully. If that was the case, I was even more confused as to why Raph hadn't just barreled over there on his own already; Raph had never stood for women getting attacked, and he also generally disdained the idea of back-up.

"Obviously," Raph growled. "Come on."

"Wait, you want me to go?"

Raph stopped and turned to stare at me. "Are you serious? You wanna just leave it?"

"No, that's not—" I sighed, pinching at the bridge of my nose. While I had to admit I was leery about getting involved in domestic affairs, the safety of others came before our anonymity whenever we were able to help. _Always_. Still, I wasn't used to being sought out. "I'm just surprised that you want me to come with you. I would have expected you to just…" I waved a hand vaguely. "Handle it yourself."

Something that almost looked like chagrin flitted across Raph's face. "Yeah, well, if I'm misunderstandin' something…you're better at explainin' things."

"Raph, it's pretty easy to explain a simple misunderstanding—"

"And better with tact."

I blinked at the compliment, understanding finally hitting me. "Oh. Okay, yeah. Let's go." Though I could tell (when I surfaced from my projects long enough) that Raph was working on his temper, actually _seeing_ him do so, especially when something had obviously hit a nerve, was still surprising. Realizing that he was bringing me along as an added assurance that he wouldn't lose his cool…I was honestly impressed.

Raph strode across the hall, gesturing towards it with his head. I paused to listen, and I could feel my own expression go dark as I heard a male voice shouting angrily, a counterpoint to the sobbing, defensive words that trailed beneath it in a female tone.

To Raph's credit, he did knock. Once. Naturally, though, his version of a knock—a single strike more like a punch than an announcement of one's presence—would have leveled stronger doors. Our neighbor's, sadly, didn't rank high in terms of structural integrity...nor was it even latched fully.

The door swung fully open to slam into the wall behind it.

The first thing we saw was some dark-haired guy, an unimpressive-looking brunet that I assumed was the erstwhile boyfriend, with his hand wrapped around one of our neighbor's arms. The darkening bruise on the face of the small, pretty blond who smiled at us every time she saw us in the hallway was incentive enough for Raph to see to it that her scumbag boyfriend quickly went the way of the door.

"Who the hell are you?" the guy demanded. I disliked him immediately; the offended (and petulant) arrogance in his voice was sickening, as if the moron honestly believed he was the wronged party. "You some kind of idiot, don't get the concept of closed doors?"

Raph just growled, an almost animal sound low in his throat that we'd all learned meant he was seconds away from snapping. "And what kind of ass-wiping, shit-faced prick does that make you, that you don't get the concept that hittin' women _is not okay_?"

The guy just sneered. "It's none of your business, buddy. You're just trespassing. Take your little Boy Scout routine back across the hall; she's not gonna be whoring out to anyone else."

I snorted, unfamiliar rage coiling coldly in my stomach; I hated few things, but people who treated violence against each other with such a cavalier attitude easily made the list. "The door was open. And you were yelling loudly enough to provide anyone with due cause for concern. Disturbing the peace, aggravated assault...we have plenty of cause to be here."

"You can't prove shit. Get the hell out." He pushed at Raph's arms where they pinned his shoulders to the wall, momentarily nonplussed when he failed to shift Raph even a little. His next mistake was to swing at him.

I couldn't help gaping a little when the punch connected; I knew Raph had to have seen it coming and that he could have avoided it or blocked it without even trying. Granted, the punch barely even tossed Raph's head aside, but that wasn't the point. Why...?

Raph was grinning through a bloody lip like Christmas came early, touching his knuckles to the split in his lip. "Look at that," he said, voice falsely cheerful even as his eyes were dark. "Thanks, dickweed; now this is self-defense."

"What—"

The guy didn't get anything further out before Raph's left fist connected with his face, blowing him off his feet and into another wall. There were two sharp cracks, one of which was from a chair as it splintered beneath the idiot, and the other, I was pretty sure, coming from the guy's no-doubt destroyed cheekbone.

Raph strode over after him, slamming his fist into the guy's back as he tried to get up, the punch landing right over a kidney. The guy screamed shortly, breaking off into pain-filled swearing and rolling onto his side. Raph just fisted his hand in the moron's shirt and dragged him up again.

I knew Raph's strength, and knew that a few more punches were likely to land the guy in the hospital and Raph in a room with a cop and charges of excessive force. "Raph. That's enough."

Raph hesitated slightly, and I could tell from way the muscles in Raph's jaw looked like they were going to snap that he was just one small push away from quite possibly killing the guy. He could do it, too; I knew that. Even without our training, Raph was more than capable of just beating a man to death with his bare hands.

For a minute, I wanted to let him.

But I knew I couldn't. Not just because it wasn't our place to mete out death on people—no matter how much they seemed to deserve it—but because I'd be betraying Raph. He'd been doing so much better at controlling his anger, not just these past few months but these past few years, too. But for all of that, he still had trouble holding himself back sometimes when a fight got to him personally and anger overruled everything else. When that happened, he trusted us to hold him back, to remind him of how he'd been raised and who he was. If I let him kill this guy, I'd be turning my back on that trust, and on my brother.

I couldn't do it.

"Raph." I wrapped one hand around his bicep, grimacing at the locked muscles; as much as it was a touchy undertaking to get close to him when he was like this, we'd learned over the years that physical contact worked well in conjunction with hearing our voices. It was something for Raph to hold onto, a tether of sorts. "Let him go."

"Don…" His voice was a growl that sounded like it was being torn out of his throat.

"Let him _go_, Raph. He'll get what he deserves. If it makes you feel better, you can hit him again—"

I didn't get a chance to finish before Raph's hand plowed forward and a sharp crack emanated from the guy's face. I didn't fool myself by thinking it had come from the bones in Raph's hand. I also didn't fool myself by thinking Raph had been waiting for my approval; he was obviously content with just a lack of any overt disagreement.

"—but try not to seriously break anything," I finished with a sigh. Oh well; if I was going to be honest with myself, I didn't mind, and given that Raph had obviously only hit the guy a couple times (at least visibly), it was still easily defendable to the cops. Besides, the guy deserved far more, and he'd be carrying this reminder of what it was like on the other side of a fist for quite a while.

"Just his cheekbone and his nose; nothing serious," Raph grit out.

I didn't bother asking him if he was sure; Raph had hit enough people over the years to be familiar with the feeling of bones breaking underneath his fists. "Good enough, I guess." I squeezed his arm for a second, then let go.

Raph snorted, rolling his shoulders and taking a shuddering breath. I could see him reeling himself back in, pulling back from the edge of that place where everything threatened to disappear for him except the fight. He opened his hand and dropped the guy carelessly; he fell like a sack of flour, having been unconscious since Raph hit him the third time. In that gentle way of his that always surprised me—mainly because Raph was so careful about not letting people see it—Raph walked past me to squat down in front of the young woman. He slowly reached his hand out to rest under her chin, letting her see the movement, and lifted her face slightly. His jaw ticked again when he saw the bruises, but his voice was gentle for all that. "How're you doin'?"

She was shaking with low-grade tremors—reaction, obviously—and didn't seem to realize she had tears running down her cheeks, but she still managed a slight smile. "I—I'm alright."

Raph snorted. "Bullshit you are. You need some ice?"

I blinked. "That'd be a good idea," I murmured. "It'll help keep the swelling down." I walked around to the kitchen, opening drawers to look for towels.

"What happened?" Raph asked.

Our neighbor—Annabel? Abigail? It was something with an A; I was pretty sure—looked shell-shocked. "He just—he came here and blew up. Said he'd had enough of me flirting with every guy I came across, being such a whore—" Her voice broke on the word. "I'm _not_! I've never cheated on anyone, he just gets so jealous—"

"He's a jackass. This is all on him, not you."

I finally found the towels and grabbed a small one, wrapping a few ice cubes in it before I joined Raph and our neighbor. I knelt down, gently pressing the ice pack against her cheek until she raised a hand to hold it there herself. "Abigail, I have a question for you," I said carefully, figuring I had half a chance of getting her name right. "Did you let him in, or does he have a key?"

"It's just Abby," she said quietly, sniffing. "He has a key."

I nodded and rose to go riffle through the idiot's wallet, holding up keys for her inspection until she nodded to one. I proceeded to pull it off the keychain and hand it to her, then grabbed the phone.

Raph frowned at me. "What're you doin'?"

"Calling the cops, Raph. We can't just leave him here—_or_ just dump him in an alley somewhere," I said quickly as Raph opened his mouth. I could tell he was tempted by the idea, but that course of action wouldn't do anything other than make Raph (and me too, if I was honest) feel better. "The cops can make things more permanent, and get her a restraining order. Though I wouldn't be surprised if someone already called them, given the noise."

Abby shrunk in on herself. "I'm sorry," she whispered tearfully. "I'm so sorry for the trouble, but thank you..."

"Shut up," Raph said gruffly, patting her hand once. I struggled not to smile; sometimes he was so awkward when he comforted people, thinking he'd get made fun of for caring too much. "You've got nothin' to apologize for. 'Sides, I enjoyed it."

She smiled wetly, the expression trembling. "So did I," she admitted quietly.

I called in the incident, giving the address and my name, though reluctantly. The next few minutes mainly consisted of awkward small talk. Raph managed to get Abby to move to the couch, and they sat there varying between random bursts of conversation and heavy silence. I kept busy by making some coffee and pressing a few Advil on her; I knew she'd need the sugar after an adrenalin rush like that, and getting some medicine in her now would keep the swelling down. Plus, I doubted she'd think of it for a while, between the questions that would undoubtedly come from the police and the likely emotional backlash that would set in later.

I think we were all kind of relieved when the police got there, if for nothing else than the distraction. Raph and I were still a little uneasy, for all that we knew we were in the clear; we'd hardly done anything we could be charged for, after all. Abby seemed embarrassed, and, unsurprisingly, her boyfriend—soon to be "ex," I imagined—was still emphatically unconscious.

The cops seemed completely unsurprised by the altercation, which made sense given how many times they probably saw various permutations of it every day. They questioned everyone, including Abby's boyfriend (once he came to). If I didn't know better, I'd say they were more surprised at the fact that someone had actually gone out of their way to help in a case like this than anything else. I was half-worried they'd get suspicious or start grilling Raph about how many times he'd hit the guy and if he'd been provoked, and could see by the tension in Raph's shoulders that he was waiting for the same thing, but apparently the black-and-blue bruises puffing up Abby's face were all the justification anyone needed.

The two officers thanked us for our help as they cuffed Abby's boyfriend and carted him off, telling her they'd be in contact when it came time for the trial.

Abby smiled at us, the expression wobbly. "I really don't know how to thank you guys enough," she said quietly.

We both shook our heads. "No problem," Raph said. "We just did what anyone shoulda done."

Her smile turned a little brittle. "And yet you're the only ones here. Thanks."

I smiled back, quelling the urge to pat her on the shoulder or something; she looked like she needed some kind of comfort, but I knew that anyone touching her right now wasn't going to be welcome. "We're just glad we could help. Look, if you need anything, whenever, we're right across the hall, okay?"

She nodded. "Thanks."

Raph paused as we reached the door, wincing at the hole in the wall from the doorknob. "Look, uh…sorry 'bout your wall. I can try an' fix that this weekend."

Abby waved it off. "I've got a brother in construction; I think I'm going to call him to stay over for a while, and I'll let him fix it. Besides, better the wall than me, right?"

We all kind of did the awkward laugh people do in situations when there's really nothing funny at all, and then Raph and I shuffled across the hall as Abby closed the door behind us.

I glimpsed a couple of our neighbors poking their heads out of their doors at the noise and ignored them. I'd always recognized that our lifestyle had risks, and that what we did to help people was a good thing, but I'd never put us on some sort of pedestal. Still, what did it say that _we_ were willing to help neighbors we'd only met once, and the rest of the floor, our "truly human" neighbors, were only interested now when there was a chance for gossip? I could see Raph sneer at someone two doors down, and couldn't quite bring myself to chastise him for it.

I closed our door carefully, keeping an eye on Raph. Things like this always upset him, but given that we'd actually gotten justice for the victim, and even thanked for our help, I wasn't sure what he'd think. I wasn't even completely sure what _I_ thought.

Raph was standing at the window, staring down at the street by the time I turned around. I took a step towards him before I noticed that his hands were curled into fists. "Raph?"

His back tensed. "We shouldn't have been the only ones there."

It was stupid to pretend that I didn't know what he meant. "At Abby's?"

"Anyone coulda heard that, Don; if I heard it from across the hall, through _two_ freakin' doors, the people next to her shoulda heard somethin'. They should've _done_ somethin'." He slammed a fist against the wall. "Shit. _Nothing's_ changed. I don't know why the hell I expected it to, but—" He snarled something under his breath. "I'm old enough to know better'n to think people are ever gonna raise a freakin' finger to help anyone other than themselves; it's always easier to just ignore it or think someone else will help."

"Raph, that's not fair and you know it," I said sternly. "Look at Casey and April, or the Professor and his friends, or Angel. They'd never stand by; they'd never _not_ help someone just out of fear of getting involved."

He spun around. "Then what the hell about the rest of 'em?" he demanded, waving his arm towards the hallway. "They just hid in their apartments like a bunch of cowards an' listened to that!"

I tried not to yell back, because truthfully I was just as upset as he was. "Raph, do you even know how many people are even home right now?" I cut him off as he opened his mouth to answer. "That's right, you don't. Don't go judging people you don't even know. Yes, there were a few people home, and yes, they should have stepped up and helped if they heard what was going on. But they might not have heard anything. Raph…we're trained for this. You in particular…I swear you could hear a fight from two blocks away. But not everyone is trained for interference the way we are. And the way society is…people are raised to think that everyone's supposed to mind their own business. But to say that people are never willing to help their neighbors— that's not true and you know it."

"It shouldn't take a natural disaster to pull people together, Don. I'm not expectin' everyone to be a bleedin' heart, but—" He broke off in frustration. "Damn it, Don, I _do_ expect people to at least know right an' wrong when they see it and frickin' _act_ on it."

As much as Raph had hardened himself to the world, he still couldn't ever stop being furious about the injustices in it; as much as he tried to come off as being in things just for the fight, we all knew better. Sometimes he was hit by things just as hard as Mikey was, he just showed it differently. "Yeah. Yeah, I know."

He shook his head. "Forget it. Look, I'm goin' out for a run."

"Where?" I hadn't meant it as a challenge at all, it was just a question. I knew Raph was upset, and wanted to make sure he wasn't going to go anywhere looking for a fight.

It wasn't until Raph stopped suddenly, his hand tightening on the window frame, that we both realized that Raph didn't have an answer.

Where _could_ he go for the kind of run he wanted? We didn't really have the option to go running around on rooftops and beating up muggers like we used to, not now that we had things like fingerprints and recognizable faces. As humans, we were constantly on display now. Raph couldn't really go on his old kind of runs anymore.

Suddenly, for the first time, I regretted that we'd made this change. It was supposed to be better, for everyone, and Raph was supposed to finally be able to stop viewing the world as a cage. But now that we lived in the human world, when Raph was surrounded by options and space, he had no place left to "go get some air." Top-side had been Raph's retreat for years, but now, when he still needed somewhere to run to—where could he really go, since we were already top-side?

Raph's face worked for a minute as he reached the same conclusion. "I'm gonna go hit the park," he said, changing direction to head for his room.

I hesitated for a minute, torn between wanting to follow him and convincing myself he was used to working through things on his own.

The truth was I wanted to help, even if my efforts weren't welcome. I'd missed being needed by someone. Back in the Lair, I'd always been kind of indispensable, no bragging intended; no one else really knew how to fix half the things that kept the Lair heated and lit and protected. Raph was good with a wrench, true, but his expertise ran more towards vehicles rather than generators or security systems. And while it had often been annoying to constantly be interrupted by yet another request to fix something, it had been nice to be needed. Now, thought, we lived in nice apartments, and everything worked and was in one piece.

I'd also gotten used to Leo needing me too, as back-up as the other reasonable brother, and for critique and support of his plans. I'd missed being someone's support, and now, suddenly, I was Raph's; I didn't even realize I'd missed it until I found myself being needed in a different way.

But even more than that, I'd missed being with my brothers. Given how much time I usually spent in my lab, I was often out in the periphery, true, but I still always knew my brothers were there. We'd spent all our lives with each other, always being close enough to see or talk to at any time (except for Leo's trips, of course). Now, though, there was no background noise of arguing or casual conversation, and I realized that with the exception of our semi-weekly dinners, this was the most time I'd spent with any of my brothers for a while.

I felt like a kid whose shiny new toy, the one I'd thought was magic, had turned out to be powered by batteries. This miracle was never supposed to be so incomplete. Raph wasn't supposed to be trapped in new, more binding ways; we weren't supposed to drift apart, too "busy" to see each other. I wasn't supposed to "make time" to be with my brothers; family had always come first, and this chance wasn't supposed to change that. _Wouldn't_ change that. I ducked into my room to change as well, managing to catch Raph on his way out.

"Raph?"

He paused, and I recognized the way his shoulders tensed; I'd seen it a hundred times before when Leo had caught him at the door of the Lair to lecture him about being careful. "What?"

I thumped him on the shoulder. "Give me a second to grab my shoes."

Raph glanced back at me in surprise. "You comin'?"

"Someone's got to give you a challenge," I retorted. "Otherwise you're just gonna sit around playing with cars all day, and the next thing we know, you'll be flaunting a beer gut and wearing wife beaters."

"Ex_cuse_ me? This from the guy who spends every wakin' hour with either his computer or someone else's?"

It was good to hear something other than anger in his voice.

I thought about what April had said, as I dug under my bed for a pair of tennis shoes, half-listening to Raph's offended rant. I could see now that she was right; if I kept being so anxious and paranoid in my attempt to keep the Foot from finding out about our new life, I was still allowing them to control it, just in a different way. Raph was always going to be Raph, and there was nothing on this planet that could change that. Trying to get him to live with restrictions…well, I'd seen how well that hadn't gone for Leo, and I knew I wasn't up for that kind of a battle. And I didn't want restrictions, not for any of us. I'd let Raph be himself and do what he wanted; I knew I could trust my brothers to be careful.

In the meantime, I'd just have to work harder and faster. The sooner Karai's business crumbled, the sooner she'd lose that leverage. Her numbers and resources were the only advantages she had on us, and we'd been dealing with being outnumbered for years. We were used to it by now. Any advantage she lost was an advantage that we gained.

It was like chemistry; all of the chemicals have to balance. Things have to remain proportionate or everything spirals out of control. In our equation, there we were on one side and Karai was on the other, stuck at an impasse: Karai couldn't find us as long as we kept our heads down, but we couldn't really be free while trying to avoid her notice. I couldn't reduce my brothers' strength, so I'd just have to reduce the Foot's.

It was my turn now, now that I thought about it. My weapon, my style of fighting, had always kept me from direct contact with our enemies, but I'd learned that you didn't have to always be an inch away from someone to strike them down; the most effective way of fighting, to my mind, had always been when you could defeat an enemy at arm's reach, without every being close enough for a counterattack.

Leo had always fought the other way. For him, it was about knowing the enemy as a person, because he could read people, and anyone he could read, he could fight and win against. But now Leo's style of fighting was exactly the kind we couldn't afford any more, because getting close enough to our enemies to fight them directly meant risking exposure.

That was where I came in. What else had I trained for my entire life if not this, learning how to strike down enemies without every providing any openings for them to strike back? Through computers, I was faceless, nameless, and I left no tracks. I could go after Karai as many times as I wanted, and she had no way of returning the blow. Her entire life, all her company records, everything was stored in computers. But me? Society had about three months of data on me, and half of it lies; that was all.

I could do this. I could keep Karai from ever getting any closer to my family.

I had to; we never would have gained these new vulnerabilities if we hadn't gone through this change—the change that _I_ had assured my brothers was safe. I'd turned out to be wrong, but I'd make my words truth, no matter how long it took.

* * *

**Matsumoto Yuki  
**

I was unsure what exactly I felt at the thought of an additional escort for my time in New York. Given that it was such a strange, new place, I naturally appreciated having familiar people around me, but there was a fine line between being comforted and being smothered; something my father had never quite realized. My brother wanted me to enjoy some freedom while he conducted his business deals, but I don't think he realized that it would be difficult while trying to get to know a complete stranger, let alone while I was being followed by Kenji, my bodyguard.

To be fair, though, Hitoshi-jii-san seemed very fond of Leonardo-san, and I had never considered him to be anything other than a good judge of character. Leonardo-san seemed rather reserved, but polite. I hesitated to declare we would become friends immediately, but even from the few minutes I'd met him the other week, I did believe that his company would be pleasant.

"Nee-san?" My brother's voice pulled me out of my musings. "Are you ready to leave? The front desk says that Leonardo-san is here, and it is time for me to head to the meeting as well."

I nodded and stood, gathering my purse and jacket. "Hai. Good luck, nii-san."

He smiled. "I'm sure everything will go well. Enjoy yourself; Leonardo-san is meant to be a companion, not a babysitter."

I nodded again, Kenji following me out of the suite. I didn't think my brother quite realized that it wasn't possible to hire friends, or that it was rather unfair of me to expect friendship from someone who was only being paid to do their job. Though I had grown fond of Kenji, and he in turn treated me more like a little sister than a job, I had known him for years. Our familiarity had taken time to develop.

Still, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try and maintain my brother's optimism myself.

By the time I reached the lobby, I was willing to set my apprehensions aside and look forward to the day. Leonardo-san was standing off to the side of the lobby, watching the crowd outside. He held himself rather stiffly, and I wondered if he annoyed, or perhaps nervous; he had seemed rather unsure of himself at times when nii-san had interviewed him. Either way, he glanced my way before we even reached him, smiling and bowing slightly as I approached. "Good morning, Matsumoto-san."

I couldn't help the slight flush that rose to my face. I hadn't stood this close to him yesterday, and didn't realize quite how intense his eyes were. On top of that, I barely came up to his shoulders. "Good morning, Leonardo-san." I remembered Kenji at my elbow, and turned slightly to introduce them.

Leonardo-san nodded respectfully, offering him a firm handshake. I noticed then that his arms were just as defined as Kenji's, and his shoulders no less broad. He had mentioned that he had an interest in martial arts, and it was obviously not just a passing interest. He glanced back at me. "Did you have any preferences, Matsumoto-san? Any place in particular that you wanted to visit?"

I shook my head. "Please, call me Yuki. I—had not thought of anything," I admitted. Would that upset him? Had he expected me to have plans?

He nodded easily. "That's fine. Would you like to see the Botanical Gardens? They're supposed to be impressive."

"That sounds nice. Have you not visited them before?"

Leonardo-san smiled wryly and shook his head. "Our sightseeing has been limited to other areas; while I wouldn't mind seeing what the Gardens have to offer, my brothers' interests run in different directions." He moved forward to open the door for me.

"Are you interested in gardening?" I hoped he was; he was likely to feel like he was little more than a glorified nanny for me soon, and it would be worse if he was taking me to places he had no interest in.

"I've never really gotten into it, though one of my brothers is encouraging me to try it," he admitted. "I found a bonsai tree at our apartment that the last tenant left behind, and my father kept a bonsai for many years, so I'm trying to learn more about them. I figure it's as good a place as any to start learning about plants and see if they interest me."

"Are there any bonsai at the Gardens?" I asked.

Leonardo-san shrugged. "I don't know, actually. I do know that they have a section devoted to flowering cherry trees, and several ponds of lotus and water lilies, however, and I thought those might appeal to you."

I didn't know what to say for a moment; I was nothing but a stranger to Leonardo-san, and yet he was trying to find something familiar for me. It was touching, and nothing I'd expected. "Yes, they do," I said softly.

He smiled slightly, looking pleased.

As we headed for the subway, Leonardo-san began to talk casually about the city, detailing the normal weather, what the people were generally like, and some of the more popular places within the city. I could tell he was trying to set me at ease, to ground me in the place I'd be spending at least the next few weeks in, and I appreciated the effort.

* * *

I was rather surprised, by the end of the day, to realize just how quickly the afternoon had gone. Leonardo-san, Kenji and I had spent several hours at the gardens, touring various sections, and it was time to return to the hotel sooner than I expected. I had enjoyed the outing, as well as getting to see the variety of flora that existed in the United States; they had many plants I could not believe even existed, ones that were so different from those in Japan. It was only after we were returning that I realized I couldn't remember if Leonardo-san had seemed to enjoy himself.

I glanced at him as he watched the street signs that would tell us when we could cross yet another busy street, and he seemed to sense my attention. He turned to look at me, smiling slightly. "Did you enjoy the gardens?"

"Oh, yes," I assured him. "They were lovely. I hope you were not bored."

He shook his head, gently taking hold of my elbow and steering me across the intersection. "Not at all. I got a chance to speak to one of the staff members, and they gave me some information on taking care of bonsai, as well as some texts to check out. Apparently their care is rather involved," he said, almost seeming pleasantly surprised.

"You enjoy challenges, then?" I asked.

Leonardo-san glanced at me, looking surprised. "I—well, yeah, I suppose I do."

I looked down at my hands. "I apologize if I am being intrusive."

"No, it's not a problem. Insight isn't something you need to apologize for."

The more I spoke to Leonardo-san, the more confused I became. He seemed and spoke as if there was much more to him than met the eye, and just from what I knew of his background, I _knew_ that there had to be many facets to him. Yet at the same time, he seemed like he was nothing more than what I had seen all afternoon; kind, polite, attentive, and—solid, for lack of a better word. It was intriguing, confusing, and even a little worrying. Was he not who I thought he was? I cleared my throat slightly. "Leonardo-san, may I ask you a question?"

He nodded easily. "Feel free."

"Why did you take this job?" I knew it was rude, that my father would most likely admonish me for such a question, but I was curious. Leonardo-san struck me as the kind of person who could succeed anywhere, who could find a place as a leader. For him to be nothing more than a companion for me…it made no sense.

Leonardo-san hesitated, and I opened my mouth to apologize…then watched in bemusement as a hint of red came to his cheeks. He cleared his throat and looked carefully at the sidewalk ahead of us. "I—well." He blew out a breath and glanced at me, almost looking embarrassed. "It was one of the few things I could do. I am not my brothers, who have very particular skills. One has a way with people, another is skilled with anything that has wheels, and another is a genius with anything mechanical. For most of my life, though, I have been looking after my brothers and perfecting my martial arts," he said quietly. "The skills I do have, the ones I've spent my life learning and thought were all I'd ever need…they aren't what you'd call marketable. I'm not qualified for much in the working world, as it turns out."

That made very little sense. "Leonardo-san, forgive me, but your country seems very foolish in terms of what they value," I said firmly. "Were we in Japan, I know that my brother, or father, or any of their partners would be glad to hire someone like you. Experience is something you gain in time, but one cannot learn good character. You are honest and patient; I can think of very few jobs that do not prize such characteristics." It was true; my father looked very carefully at the characters of the men he hired, and counted it as a bonus if they were highly skilled as well. He said often that an honest, unskilled man is better than a skilled man you cannot trust.

I watched as the red along Leonardo-san's cheeks deepened. "I—thank you, Yuki-san. I appreciate the sentiment. I wish it were that easy, but in the job market here…" He shrugged. "Most businesses don't allow for much of a learning curve."

"Perhaps you could go into diplomacy," I suggested. "You know about both American and Japanese cultures, and you know both languages." I did not know him well enough to be comfortable adding the fact that he had one of the most calming presences I had ever encountered.

He nodded thoughtfully. "It's something to consider, perhaps. I imagine they'd want someone with more a background than I have, though." He paused as we reached the door of the hotel. "I hope you enjoyed yourself today, Yuki-san. Should I come at the same time tomorrow?"

I nodded. "Yes. Tomorrow will be the last meeting for this week; according to my brother, the meetings for this week were just preliminary, a chance for him to get to know the other owner. The true negotiation talks will start next week, and he said he will call you to let you know which days you will be needed."

"That should be fine. I'll see you tomorrow, then; have a good evening." Leonardo-san nodded to both me and Kenji, then turned and slipped into the stream of pedestrians, weaving his way between them.

I allowed Kenji to precede me into the building, following him into the elevator. I glanced at him as we began to climb towards the apartment. "What do you think of him, Kenji-san?"

Kenji gave a small shrug. "He seems to be a good man, though it is hard to know anyone after one meeting."

"True. He is quite kind, and it is…refreshing to be treated so equally."

Kenji gave a small smile. "You refer to your brother and father," he said knowingly. "To be fair to them, they have seen you since you were young; it is hard for families to consider the growth of those they have seen as children. Leonardo-san knows you only as you are now."

"That is also true." I wondered how exactly Leonardo-san saw me, if part of the reason he did not resent his position was because of his brothers, because he was used to caring for others.

Either way, I believe what I enjoyed the most was his honesty; I had little experience with someone answering me so honestly, even when confronted with personal questions. Leonardo-san seemed open to familiarity, without being intrusive himself. I was beginning to think I would enjoy getting to know Leonardo-san just as much as I would enjoy the opportunity to explore the city.

* * *

**A/N: **While I'm thinking about it, I have a couple questions for you guys: what are the newest seasons of TMNT like? I've watched up to the future season, but I never finished it or the "Back to the Sewers" season, and I wanted to see what people thought about those two seasons. Are they still good, or have they changed too much? Also, where the heck can you watch the episodes online? Stupid 4kids has taken the show off of their site, and I'm out of ideas of where else to find the episodes. Any input would be greatly appreciated. ^_^


	12. Chapter 12

_**Disclaimer**__: See previous chapters._

Buh. Another long update-break, but at least it's fairly close to the two-month mark. This sucker ended up changing a few times; I ended up cutting parts to use in later chapters, then thinking of totally different parts, and it took quite a bit longer than I wanted. Still, I think it turned out pretty well, all things considered; I hope you guys like this one. If nothing else, it's long enough to (hopefully) make up for the wait: 48 pages! 0.0

Onto other business! I'd like to offer my sincere thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: **InkFate, LOink, Amalia Janeway, AdamtheAwesome, FrEsHsTeP, monkey, LoganX, RabidWrackspurt, Tanigi, NinjaMisha, Sabrinasidd, Norse, M, Silver Lightning Blade, Rika 24, J-Kid, The Wolf's Shadow, **and **Laughter's Tears**. You guys make all the hours I spend on this story worthwhile, and I love to hear that people are enjoying this story.

Additionally, one of my awesome, amazing readers drew some fanart of the guys' human forms! And it's WONDERFUL. Fanart makes me squeal. Here's a link to her livejournal, and if you scroll down, you can see some awesome drawings of the guys that are really spot-on and well-done: http : / / ninjamisha .livejournal . com / (Obviously without all the spaces.) You should totally go see it, like immediately. It's chock-full of win.

And…yeah! Onto the good stuff!

* * *

**Casey Jones**

I know there's lots of stuff I don't know about; all I have to do is listen to Donnie talk about some of his projects to know that. But the things I do know, I know well, an' my buddies are one of those things, which was how I knew Raph was about to lose it.

I'd sort of figured him an' the guys bein' human was gonna be awesome, and it was; gettin' to work with Raph, go out to bars with him, an' know that he and the guys (and Master Splinter) were safe and getting the life they deserved, all'a that was great.

But the thing was, I'd expected it to be nothing _but_ awesome, which was why I was kinda confused as to why Raph was lookin' like he needed to go out an' bust some heads more an' more often lately. Neither of us were anythin' like what you'd call subtle guys, though—an' trust me, April's agreed with me on that one lotsa times—so I figured I'd just ask 'im what was wrong. Raph was easy to deal with that way; he'd either tell you what was up, or tell you to get lost. No beatin' around the bush.

Still, I was tryin' to be tactful, since April recommended tryin' it occasionally, so I waited a few days to see if Raph would say somethin' first. But then the week kept goin' past, and then we were walkin' back home after work on Wednesday, an' Raph still hadn't said nothin', so I figured it was my turn. I nudged him in the side, watchin' his face. "So what's up with you?"

Raph growled and swatted at my hand. "In terms of what?"

"I mean, what's got you so pissed lately? I woulda thought things were great."

He bristled for a second, an' I thought he was gonna start yellin', but then he just sighed. "Yeah, me too." He rubbed the back of his neck. "How much time you got to listen?"

"As much as ya need," I said seriously. "You wanna head over to Bart's? Should be quiet there tonight."

"Yeah. Sounds good."

Raph didn't say a thing the whole way there, other than to thank Bart for takin' our toolboxes an' holdin' 'em behind the counter. I punched 'im in the shoulder and told 'im I was duckin' into the bathroom, and he just grunted.

I figured I'd call April an' let her know I'd be home late, 'cause the way Raph was actin', I had a feelin' it was gonna take a while to work things out. When it was somethin' little buggin' him, Raph would blow up, cool down, an' move on. When it was somethin' big, or Leo, he'd just simmer, an' there wasn't any real way to get him to let it go; all you could do was just distract him. I'd never really seen 'im pissed and quiet, so I figured we were gonna be there a while.

The phone rang a few times before April picked up, an' I know I looked like an idiot, smilin' in the guys' room just to hear her voice. "Jones residence."

"Hey, babe."

April just sighed slightly, which was all the more reaction she usually ever gave to the nickname any more. "What's up?"

"Nothin' major, just wanted to let you know I'll be getting home a little late tonight. I don't think I'll make it for dinner, so don't bother waitin' for me," I said, keepin' an eye on the door. "Raph's got somethin' on his mind, so we're gonna hang out for a bit."

April sighed again. "Yeah, I talked to him the other week too. I was hoping he'd be feeling better about things by now."

I frowned. I couldn't remember havin' seen Raph over at the apartment any time recently. "What'd you guys talk about?"

"If he wanted you to know, he'd tell you," April replied bluntly.

"Fine, I get the point. Anyway, you okay with me stayin' out? It's not gonna be too late, probably, but…"

"Of course." I could hear a smile in her voice over the phone, and thought of her curled up on the couch with the phone. I still didn't know how I convinced her to marry a goob like me, but I knew I was damn lucky. "Just be careful."

"What, talkin' to Raph or comin' home?" I asked, tryin' to get her to laugh.

"Both," she said softly.

I got the point. "I'll do right by 'im, April, you know I will."

"I know. You're a good man, Casey Jones."

I knew I was grinnin' like an idiot. "You're a better woman, April Jones. Love ya."

"Love you too."

Someone pushed the door open then, so I shoved my phone back in my pocket an' ducked back out of the bathroom. Raph was right where I'd left him, already workin' on a beer, and Bart set one down in front of me when I parked it at the bar. I took a pull from it, noddin' a thank you to Bart, and sighed. "So, what's up?"

Raph sighed, rollin' his bottle between his palms. "It's…it's a couple things."

"Is one of 'em Leo?"

"Yeah."

I wasn't surprised. "What is it this time?"

"He's…he's not gettin' it, Case. He's not adjustin' like he should," Raph blurted. "I mean, he's following orders, and goin' along with whatever anyone suggests, an' that's _it_. The closest to normal I've seen him in weeks was when we went down to the sewers the other day to knock out some Foot patrols."

"You didn't invite me?"

"It wasn't a picnic, Jones; we were tryin' to make a point, tryin' to make 'em think we were still down there, an' more importantly, still turtles," he muttered, lowering his voice.

I blinked. "Oh. _Oh_, I get it. Yeah, good idea." I hadn't even thought about the Foot findin' out about the guys bein' human; I guess I'd kinda thought that once they were human, they'd just fall off the radar.

Raph snorted. "Ya think? So Leo plans this whole thing, we go down, an' it's business as usual, y'know? Everything's fine. But then we're leavin', headin' back topside, an' Leo…he pulls out this crap from who _knows_ the hell where, about how he could have stayed where we were an' been okay with it. 'I coulda been content,' were his words. Like that was all that mattered. Like that's the only option he has to be comfortable, like he ain't got a whole frickin' _world_ of chances to actually be _happy_ up here, rather than just not miserable down there." He slammed his bottle down on the bar. "I mean, what the hell, Case? What the hell am I supposed to do with somethin' like that? I talked to April, an' I've got some idea of _what_ to do for him, but not how to do it."

I took a drink an' tried to think of somethin' to say. I understood Leo even less than I understood Donnie sometimes; the way the guy thought was totally different from how I thought. "You think he isn't happy now, as a human?"

"I don't think he's _un_happy," Raph growled. "But hell, I don't know. Some days he seems like he's doin' well, but then I talk to Mikey, and he's worried about Leo too. Mikey's trying to help, takin' Leo out to try things and keep 'im busy, but apparently Leo's just doin' what he's told, an' that's it. And now Mikey's askin' _me_ what to do, why Leo's bein' like this, expectin' me to know how to fix it. And I don't, Case. I mean, shell, _I'm_ happy here, an' I'm a picky asshole; why isn't Leo happy? An' I promised Sensei I'd keep an eye on 'im, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Watching out for people is Leo's gig; I just keep people alive."

I watched him slump on the bar and shoved him a bit with my elbow. "You do a hell of a lot more for your bros than that, Raph, don't be an idiot." I took a long drink, tryin' to figure out what to say, then just figured hell with it; I'd just talk an' hope Raph understood what I was tryin' to say.

"I get where you're comin' from, Raph, suddenly havin' to take care of someone; it's the same place I was in after my dad died. I went from bein' a kid to feelin' like I had to be a grown-up in a matter of days. I mean, you've met Ma; she ain't no damsel in distress, not by a long shot, but my dad taught me that you always take care of ladies, and that meant Ma too. So I tried to take care of her, y'know, help around the house, walk with her places…I'd set my alarm to get up in the middle of the night, sometimes, an' look around the house, check the locks, just make sure everything was alright. But I was still just a kid. Even a few years later, it wasn't any easier. I was havin' a hard enough time keepin' my own ass outta trouble, I didn't feel like I was in any shape to look after someone else."

"That when you hit the streets?"

"'Bout then, yeah. I figured, I wasn't doin' that well at home, as far as I could see, so I'd go out to the streets. That's where the problem came from in the first place, anyway; gang and idiots out on the streets." I shook my head. "But that didn't even help all that much, 'cause no matter how many nights a week I was out there, I wasn't seein' any difference, y'know? Each night there were just as many punks, just as much work to do. That's about when I met you guys, an' I stopped hittin' the streets as much."

Raph glanced at me, lookin' confused. "The hell? You were out with me all the time, Case."

I shrugged. "That still wasn't as much as I'd been doin' by myself. Look, Raph, you guys…meetin' you an' the others, talkin' to Master Splinter…I figured out that I was goin' the wrong way. I can't change the world without changin' _my_ world first, was kinda how I figured it. I could fix my home an' family, me an' Ma and Angel, a lot more easily than I could fix the world."

Raph looked back at his glass. "Family first," he said softly.

"Family first," I agreed. "It's about responsibility, Raph. If you want the people you love to be around to keep lovin' you, then you gotta take steps to make sure that happens. An' it's more than just keepin' 'em alive. You gotta take care of your family, Raph, an' watchin' someone's back in a fight is a lot easier than makin' 'em happy. Way I see it…maybe it's Leo's turn to be a kid. You an' Mikey an' Don have all had the chance to be kids, do what you want….maybe it's Leo's turn."

"But it's _Leo_, Case," Raph said, frustrated. "That's the thing; he ain't been a kid since he was like…seven. An' he's never been good at goin' backwards or givin' ground. There's only forward for him; there's only achieving or growin' or learnin', there's no goin' back. He's good with stayin' in one place, if he's found someplace safe, but that's as much as he'll sit still. An' I don't know where to tell him to move forward _to_. And that's a problem in itself, 'cause I'm afraid to tell 'im the wrong thing and send him down the wrong path, 'cause I think he'll listen to just about anything at this point so long as it gives him some orders to follow."

I drained my beer, tryin' to think, an' waved at Bart for a second bottle. Tryin' to get into Leo's head was hard, 'cause we were too different, in pretty much every way. But I knew Leo, even if I didn't know 'im as well as I knew Raph, an' people were people no matter who they were. "What did Master Splinter tell 'im before he left?"

Raph frowned. "What do ya mean?"

"You said he told you to work on your temper; do you know what he told Leo?"

"Somethin' about learnin' to let us go an' just be himself, I think. Get over the whole chain-of-command thing and stuff. I mean, that's as best as I can tell, anyway; he hasn't said much about it."

Somethin' hit me, an I spit it out before I could forget it. "Tell 'im to stop takin' orders."

"Say what?"

I talked faster, tryin' to get the words out before I lost my train of thought. "You said he's goin' out with Mikey all the time, right? But that ain't Leo's scene. People an' parties an' crap…look, he had to go through that whole thing on Shred-head's ship just to go bust some heads with me, right? An' that was him totally strung out. So you need to tell 'im to stop takin' orders, stop followin' everythin' people tell him to the letter, an' just…just chill for a while. Somethin' Master Splinter told me once was that sometimes you can accomplish a lot more by lettin' things come to you rather than tryin' to chase after them." Okay, so technically he'd been givin' me advice about April, but I figured advice was advice; if it came from Master Splinter, it could probably be applied to lots of things.

"I get that," Raph said slowly. He smirked a little. "Sure sounds like Sensei."

I thought hard for a minute, tryin' to find the rest of my thoughts. "And maybe…maybe what you need is for Leo to solve his own problem."

Raph glared at me. "Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. That's what we're doin' now, and I don't see Leo goin' anywhere."

"Shaddup an' listen, Raph. He needs to find out what he wants, right? So just tell 'im that. From what you said, Master Splinter told him to just be himself, right? But he's gotta find what he likes and hates first, find out who he is. It's like…like one of Mike's video games; Leo's tryin' to get right to the boss fight without gettin' any of the loots from the other levels. But you can't beat the boss without the skills from the other levels, right? So that's his problem."

"…I've gotta be drunker than I thought, 'cause that almost makes sense." He smirked at me for a second, then the expression fell. His eyes dropped back onto the label of his beer bottle.

I frowned, nudging him. "What?"

"I don't know if I can do it, Case," Raph muttered. He ran a hand over his face. "No, no bullshit; I think I _could_ do it, if he'd work with me, but…this was supposed to be my chance to be _free_, Case. Y'know? A time when I could finally do my own thing, tear up the town, or just walk down the freakin' street, and it wouldn't _matter_ 'cause I was finally somethin' that society could swallow. It wasn't—it wasn't supposed to be my turn to be babysitter," he said quietly.

I sat there thinkin' for a bit. I knew exactly where he was comin' from, 'cause I'd been there myself, when home and your family were just some of the many things you couldn't do right, and so you just wanted to run and fight, 'cause that was somethin' you _could_ do right. At the same time, though, everythin' that felt like chains was what really kept you from goin' too far; not havin' anyone to be responsible for started turnin' into not havin' anyone to answer to real quickly, and that'd been where I was when I'd met Raph and the guys. I could admit I had been at the point where I was takin' things too far, and it wasn't a place I wanted anyone else goin'.

"Raph?"

"Yeah."

"Tough shit."

He turned and gaped at me. "What?"

I frowned at him. "You heard me, man: tough shit. So you've got some responsibilities; so what? It's your _family_, Raph; they're a responsibility that's always with ya, if you're lucky. I know I've never been that close to Leo, but I can tell ya, even when he wasn't himself, when we were hittin' the town 'cause he felt like all he could do at home was screw up, he never talked about you guys like burdens. He was where I used to be, thinkin' that you might as well take out every single person who might be a threat someday—no matter how rough you had to be, or if they could ever really be a threat at all. Even then, it was all for you. He's been there for ya all your life, and he's had what, two years to himself, maybe? Maybe it's time to give back, Raph." I dragged my bottle through the water rings on the bar, hopin' I was makin' sense. "Don an' Mike took care of the family an' the Lair while Leo was gone. Where were you?"

"Hey, I was doin' our job!"

"You were takin' care of the city, Raph," I said, pokin' him in the chest. "And yeah, it was important, but not as important. And you can say that's a lot harder, but it ain't; I know, man. You can make progress kickin' ass a lot faster than you can make progress helpin' your family. And it feels easier, 'cause you don't have to worry about bein' right, just about bein' stronger. But you gotta remember, man: family first. Let the city take care of itself for once; you can't do anythin' for it alone, an' you've got no right tryin' to take care of a buncha strangers if you can't take care of the people closest to you first."

Raph opened his mouth and I shoved his arm, knowin' I'd forget what I was tryin' to say if he interrupted. "Point is, stop thinkin' about it like babysittin', like you've got to hold Leo's hand every step of the way, an' it'll stop lookin' like such a big deal. Leo's good at thinkin' on his feet; just get 'im started and he'll be good. That's what he really needs. Like you said, he doesn't like stayin' in one place, but he's stuck with that right now. He doesn't wanna go forward 'cause he's scared to screw up, so just help him find a direction; that's what he needs."

Raph glanced over at me. "You think?"

"Yeah. Look, no one's askin' you to be Leo for Leo, to, you know, trade your whole life for him. It wasn't good for him, an' it wouldn't be good for you, either. Just be a brother. And I know you said you don't know how to be one, but I figure it's like bein' a son; it ain't somethin' you try or learn, it's somethin' you just _are_, without even workin' at it. But if you need—I dunno, guidelines or whatever—well, to most people, bein' a brother means you kick his ass when he needs it, help 'im up when he needs it, listen when he needs it, and just let 'im know you've always got his back. It's all the stuff you know, Raph, just without all the—well, the Clan expectations and military command stuff."

"Simple as that?"

"Simple as that." I thought about Sid an' Angel, the closest things I had to siblings, and how we tried to fumble through things. "Best as I can figure, anyway."

Raph spun his bottle on the bar aimlessly, eyes narrowed, but he finally nodded. "Yeah. I…I can do that."

"'Course you can," I retorted, watchin' him. I wanted to let it go, but Raph's shoulders were still hunched up towards his ears, an' I knew somethin' else was still eatin' at him. It took a second before I was willing to punch him lightly in the shoulder. "Is that it? Or is there somethin' else buggin' you too?"

He shook his head. "It's nothin', Case. You've listened to enough'a my crap tonight."

Geez. Much as we were both bad at this kinda stuff, he was my best friend, an' that meant listenin' was part of the job; this time my fist found the side of his head. "Don't be a moron, Raph; better I listen to this now. I'm on a roll with the advice, after all."

Raph planted his palm in my face and shoved me over, scowlin'. "It's nothin' you can help with, Case."

"Bullshit," I snapped, haulin' myself back up onto my stool. "If there's somethin'—"

"I can't _stand_ it here sometimes, Case!" he ground out. "That ain't somethin' you can help with!"

I swallowed an' shoved my bottle away a little bit. Bart looked up at us for a minute, then turned away, dryin' off some glasses. It was one of the reasons I liked this place: the guy was a black hole of secrets. I knew he heard a ton of stuff, but I'd never heard him spill a single thing. Still, Raph caught the movement an' hunched down a little, an' I knew he was wonderin' how much everyone had heard. Raph wasn't big on group sharin'. "What d'you mean, Raph?"

His lip curled a little before he scrubbed a hand down his face. "I don't wanna get complacent," he mumbled into his hand.

"Raph, I don't think you can even spell 'complacent.' What the hell are you worried about?"

"I don't wanna get—get neutered like everyone else in this damn city. Bad stuff happens all the time, an' everyone just turns a blind eye. We have to rescue idiots in alleys all over the city 'cause the people ten feet away on the sidewalks won't lift a finger. They don't wanna get involved 'cause they don't wanna get hurt or sued or whatever the hell." He dumped some peanuts from dish onto the bar in front of him an' started pulverizing them with his bottle. "Don an' I went an' beat the hell out of our neighbor's boyfriend the other day, after we heard him yellin' at her and throwin' things from across the hall. And we were the only ones there, Case. No one called the cops until we did. No one else even came outside, other than to snoop on what was happenin'." He ground his bottle down on the mess he'd made, the muscle in his jaw tickin' like crazy. "I ain't gonna end up like that, Case; I won't. I don't ever wanna stand by an' just listen to or watch or _let_ somethin' like that happen."

"Dude, Raph, you never could. I know you, you'd never let that go."

"I know! But it's like I'm supposed to, 'cause that's what "normal" people do. I know Donnie would never walk away from somethin' like that anymore than I would, but he wants to blend, an' I _can't_, Case; he tells me to just give it some time until I feel like I fit better, feel like my skin isn't crawlin' anymore, but I can't give it time. If I just "give it time" an' let myself get comfortable, I'll lose my edge." His hands flexed, an' I knew he'd be spinnin' his sai if he had 'em. "If I let this kinda stuff go, act like everyone else an' tell myself that someone else will help, or the cops will take care of it…then no one will help. I know I'm not some superhero an' I don't make that much of a difference, but at least I make some difference."

"Raph, lettin' things like that go ain't what "normal" people do, it's what cowards do. And man, bad stuff has been happenin' in this city since way before you were born, an' it'll keep happenin' long after you're gone. You can't fix everything, you gotta know that. Even when you an' your bros were out running patrols, you couldn't help everyone, right? 'Cause you can't be everywhere at once. But you helped who ya could when you came across 'em, and that's all anyone can ask." I grabbed the back of his neck an' shook him a little. "Maybe you can't run patrols any more, but that doesn't mean you can't stop the bad stuff you see; there ain't no license required for savin' people, Raph. Steppin' up ain't gonna blow your cover; it might draw some attention to you, but only the good kind. An' who knows, if you get other people to pay attention, maybe they'll stand up too."

Raph stared at me for a while, then down at the bar, hands clasped in front of him. He was quiet for a minute, and I nursed my drink, knowin' he'd figure out what was gonna work for him in his own time. He finally sighed, settlin' his shoulders, and tipped his bottle toward me. "Yeah. Thanks, Case. Really."

I shrugged and punched him in the arm. "Don't mention it." I couldn't help sighin' a little to myself, glad I hadn't screwed it up.

We finished our beers in silence, an' Raph slapped a bill on the counter, then glanced at me outta the corner of his eye. "So. You got time for a check on the locals, or is it curfew for you, married guy?"

I slapped my money for my drinks right next to his, already grinning. "I've always got time to show you how to fight, shortie. Bet you anythin' I can kick more ass than you."

"Loser has to work on half of the winner's cars tomorrow, loser."

"You got it, moron."

We shoved each other out of the bar, lettin' Bart know we'd be by later to pick up our crap, and Raph finally started smirking, which was all I needed to see. Like I'd told him, bein' a brother was about listenin' when he needed it, and kickin' his ass when he needed it.

Lucky for Raph, I was good at both.

* * *

**Michelangelo**

I grinned as I bounced back into the apartment after visiting the neighbors, looking for Leo. We'd both kind of lazed around all morning, but it was Saturday afternoon and super nice out, and we were going places.

I just had to inform Leo of that.

Fortunately for me, he was in the kitchen, watering Horatio, which was actually the perfect lead-in for once. "Hey, Leo, guess what? Our next-door neighbor, Mrs. Benkman, is in a garden club!"

Leo glanced up from his tree, raising his eyebrows. "Really? I didn't know that."

"Yep. They meet in Central Park every Saturday afternoon. So grab Horatio and let's get going!"

Leo just blinked. "Wait, what? Go where?"

"To the garden club meeting. I told Mrs. B that we'd meet her there. You can learn if gardening is really something you're interested in, and make sure Horatio is healthy. It's just a bunch of nice old ladies, no scary bartenders or anything. And I'm coming with you too; Klunk would love to run around out there, and I've got a leash for him. So let's go!"

He shook his head, and while it might have looked like refusal to anyone else, I recognized resignation when I saw it. It was one of those things I just kinda seemed to inspire in people after a while. "Why do I keep listening to you?"

"Because I come up with good ideas, and you know I'm right." I poked him in the side. "And Mrs. B said she asked one of her friends to bring a book on bonsai trees…" I cajoled. If there were two things Leo was big on, books and step-by-step instructions for success were high on the list.

He hesitated, glancing at the door. "A meeting?" he asked quietly.

"Like half a dozen ladies, for maybe an hour tops," I promised, meaning it. I knew this was different from the other stuff I'd dragged him along for, given that we wouldn't just be part of the crowd, we'd be there one-on-one with strangers. And as much as I wanted to help Leo find what he liked, I didn't want him to go anywhere he hated just because I suggested it. "Or if you totally hate it, we can duck out at the half hour mark and make an excuse about grocery shopping or something." Leo could sit and meditate or practice for hours at a time, but apparently an hour spent surrounded by smelly incense sounded like a cakewalk compared to an hour spent by surrounded by nice old ladies.

"An hour…" he repeated, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah. We can try it."

I grinned. "Cool. It'll be fine, bro, you'll see."

I'd always thought my brothers were the bravest people I knew, and they never stopped proving me right.

* * *

After we got back, I draped Klunk over the back of the couch, since he was totally exhausted, and watched as Leo plopped down at the table, looking over the book that Mrs. B's friend had given him. Since I'd pretty much thrown him to a pack of wolves, in Leo's terms, I figured I'd be nice and back off for the rest of the day. Still, I was pretty sure he'd had a decent time, and obviously the book was making a lot of points with him. Snatching the phone, I thumped down on the couch and dialed Raph and Don's place, figuring I'd check up on them.

It rang for a while before anyone picked up, and I could practically imagine why; Don would probably be holed up in his room working on something, deaf to the world, and Raph would wait to see if Don would get the phone until it finally annoyed him to the point that he answered it himself.

"Hello?"

Sure enough, there was Raphie, sounding glad that someone cared about him. "Hey, Raph."

"Hey. What's up?"

"Eh, not much. Spent the day hanging out with Leo. You?"

"'Bout the same. Brainiac's got another date tonight, so he's freakin' out. Been workin' out, layin' around."

I rolled my eyes. "Dude, we finally get to be humans, and we just do the same things we did as turtles," I drawled. "I think we need to start working on our list some more. Maybe hit some of Leo's ideas, y'know?"

Raph made a _huh_ noise, his form of a verbal shrug. "Works for me. Which ones were you thinkin' of?"

"Uh…" I scowled, trying to remember the list without having to get up. "I think maybe…the ferry ride, and seeing a sunset." I craned my neck over the back of the couch to see if Leo was eavesdropping, but as far as I could tell, he was totally focused on Horatio and his book. "Hey, Raph?"

"Yeah?"

"Is it weird to be jealous of a tree?"

"Yeah. Wait, what?"

I snorted a little. "Since Leo's learned how to take care of Horatio, I swear he's gonna be spending more time with the tree than he will with me."

Raph was quiet for a while, and I couldn't tell if he was trying not to laugh, trying to understand, or just being thoughtful.

"Leo…he needs things to take care of, Mikey. An' right now he doesn't have all of us to look after all the time, an' he's prob'ly tryin' not to hover around you too much, so…" I could practically hear him shrug over the phone. "He finds somethin' new."

"Oh." I didn't quite know what to say to that. It'd figure that when I was totally just trying to get a laugh out of Raph, he'd go all serious and thoughtful on me. "Yeah, I guess." I didn't how I felt about that. I was trying to move away from the whole "little brother" thing, but…I liked that my bros cared about me. Attention worked for me.

"So what's your plan for tonight?"

I blinked at the question. "Huh? Oh, I dunno. I think Leo and I were just gonna run out and grab some groceries, stay in tonight. I don't think he's up for much more people-time today."

"That works. I'm gonna hang here, try an' relax once Spaz Boy leaves. It's like watchin' 'im cram for a test or somethin', I swear."

_That_ I could picture, and I snickered. "Don't let him take any notes, that's cheating."

Raph laughed. "Yeah, you got it. Tell Fearless I said hi."

"You bet. Same for Don, and wish him luck for me."

"Sure. Later."

I hung up the phone, still feeling antsy. Leo was all peopled-out for the day, Raph was obviously not in the mood to be annoyed, and Donnie was probably too high-strung to want to do anything, but I still had a lot of energy. Ever since we'd become human, I wanted to be outside as much as possible, make the most of it; I had a lot to catch up on, after all. Places to go, people to see…like Ryan! That was an excuse to get out of the apartment, and I bet Leo'd appreciate having the place to himself for a while.

I vaulted over the back of the couch and hung up the phone, then snuck up behind Leo and draped myself on his shoulders. "Leeoooo…"

"No, Mikey," he replied absently. It was one of those responses that were just ingrained in him by now, and I could pretty much get one at any time if I used the right tone of voice. It was kinda fun.

"Haven't asked the question yet, bro," I pointed out, reading over his shoulder for a few lines. From what I could see, bonsai trees were super needy and really particular. It'd drive me nuts, and I'd probably accidentally kill one within a month, but it sounded like the kind of thing that'd be great for Leo.

"Oh. Right. What is it?"

"I'm gonna go over and check on Ryan, see how he's doing. You wanna meet me over there in like an hour, then go grab some groceries? Just from the little mom-an'-pop store down the street, no mega-marts, I promise."

I could feel Leo hesitate for a second, then he nodded. "That sounds fine. An hour?"

"Give or take. I'll see ya then!" I picked Klunk up from where he was winding around my ankles and plopped him on the table to keep Leo company, then headed out the door.

It took me a bit longer than I expected to find my way back to Chuck's place, and I was really starting to wonder if I'd ever get the hang of navigating the city from ground level. By the time I knocked on their door, I was seriously considering asking Donnie to install some sort of GPS program on our cells just so I didn't have to take a cab everywhere in order to not get lost.

Chuck pulled the door open, blinking and then grinning at me. "Mike! Come on in. I didn't think we'd see you again so soon, given how busy you must still be."

"It's not that bad. We're pretty much settled in by now, it's just a matter of figuring out how not to get lost." I slid past him and looked around. "Is Ryan in? I figured I'd see how he was doing."

"Yeah, he's in," Chuck replied. "He's gonna be heading out in about twenty minutes for soccer practice, but I know he'd be glad to see you. He's been doing well. Have a seat, I'll go get him."

"Cool, thanks." I plopped down on the couch, wincing as I sat on the remote. I set it down on the table, then glanced up to see Ryu in the kitchen and made a note to say hi to the guy before I left. Hopefully I'd manage not to freak him out this time.

"Mike!"

I turned to see Ryan barrel into the room, arms full of soccer crap, and grinned; his black eye had faded a bit, but you could still tell it had been a heck of a shiner, with greenish-yellow bruises all around his eye. "Hey, man. You look like you lost a fight."

He made a face at me and punched me in the arm. "At least no one knifed me," he replied, grinning.

I had to give him that one. "Point. How're you doing?"

"I'm good," he said quickly. "Really. The idiots seemed to get the point, 'cause I haven't seen any of 'em for a few days."

"Didja impress anyone at school with your battle wounds?" I asked. I could see Chuck raise an eyebrow and remembered I wasn't talking to one of my brothers. "'Cause if you did, you should tell them that violence should, uh, never be applauded. Talk out your problems. Give peace a chance?"

Ryan looked at me like I was brain-damaged and Chuck just laughed. "What?" I protested. "I'm trying to be a good role model!"

"I've already got role models," Ryan said, rolling his eyes at Chuck.

"Oh, cool, then I'm off the hook."

We chatted a little more while Ryan got geared up and shoved the rest of his things into his duffel bag, then he headed out to catch a ride with one of his teammates. I sat around wondering if I should leave by then; I was good with Ryan, 'cause he was near my age, but Chuck was about a dozen years older than I was. Casey had never cared that we were younger than him—probably 'cause he wasn't any more mature than we were—but I didn't want Chuck to feel like he had to stay and baby-sit me.

"So Mike, have you and your brothers had a chance to get any sightseeing done yet?"

I glanced over at Chuck. "Huh? Oh, no, not yet. The whole trying to mesh four schedules thing…we're still working on it. Why?"

"I've got some pamphlets from the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty, times for tours and that sort of thing," he explained. "I took Ryan last year, and I'm pretty sure they haven't changed much. If you're interested, I can look for them real quick, and save you guys the trouble of going down there just to find a schedule."

"Seriously?" I grinned. "Yeah, that'd be great, thanks."

He smiled easily. "No problem. Give me a couple minutes, I'll be right back."

I lasted about a minute before I decided to go say hi to Ryu. Yeah, I knew it hadn't gone that well last time, but hope springs eternal and all that. I made an effort to make a little more noise when I approached the kitchen this time, so he'd know I was coming.

Ryu was working on what looked like dinner when I got in there, onions and peppers lined up on the counter in neat piles while he went to town on what smelled like chives. I tried the clearing-my-throat thing as I inched into the room, curious to see what he was cooking. "Heya."

Success! He just glanced up this time, no throwing things, and smiled slightly. "Mike. How are you?"

"Better than the last time you saw me," I joked. "What's cooking?"

"I'm attempting some curry for tonight. We'll see how it goes."

"Cool. Smells good," I offered. Dude was really slow to warm up to people, and I was doing my best to be friendly. Maybe I'd just caught him on two less than awesome days.

"Thank you."

"Uh, is there anything I can help with?"

He looked over at me, hesitating for a minute, then nodded. "That small cabinet on the right, over the stove; can you grab the curry powder for me?"

I grinned. No one could resist me for long. "You bet." I poked through the spice cabinet carefully, pulling out the curry powder and handing it to Ryu. He reached a hand out to take it, and the flash of red on his forearm caught my eye again. Oh cool, I could actually see his tattoo now. "It's kinda cool to see someone else cooking, 'cause at home I'm usually the one stuck with all the cooking…" Now that I looked at it, his tattoo was kinda shaped like a claw…

Oh shell. This guy was a _Foot_.

I froze for a minute, trying not to freak out. My first instinct was to _run_, 'cause he was gonna freaking attack me any minute now. I actually jerked backwards before I remembered that I was human, and there was no way he could know we were actually _epic mortal enemies_.

Except—I'd been blabbing about having three brothers, and being trained in martial arts, and getting in fights all the time. I'd even said Leo's name on the phone when I'd been here the first time.

Time to go. It was way past time to go. Holy shell, it had been time to go since I freaking _got_ there the first time.

Of course, I'd taken a bit too long after my freak-out to play it off, 'cause Ryu glanced down at his arm, then up at me. "Mike—"

"Hey, sorry about interrupting," I said, moving backwards. "Tell Chuck I said thanks, and I'll just pick up the pamphlets—some other time." I turned to leave, moving as quickly as I could; I had to hope that he hadn't really connected the dots yet. Or at least hope that he wouldn't try and kill me with an ex-cop the next room over.

"Michelangelo—"

Double shell, he _did_ know; I hadn't introduced myself as anything other than Mike, and only the Foot, my family and our friends knew my full name, and this guy definitely didn't fall into the last two categories. I whirled around to face him, not willing to let the _Foot ninja with the knife_ be at my back anymore.

Tell you what, it never fails: any kind of sugar rush always pales in comparison to the pure adrenalin that hits when you're facing down mortal enemies. "Look," I said tightly. "I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but I'm not hanging around for it. You don't want to start a fight with me, not with your roomie still here."

"He knows—"

Holy fricking crap on a flaming stick, how could this day get any worse? _Chuck_ was in on it too? I kept backing towards the door. "Great. So this was just a trap? Use Ryan to try and lure me in?"

Ryu's face got dark. "I would never use Ryan like that," he said lowly, stepping towards me. "Look, use your head for a minute—how would I have even known that Ryan was going to be attacked that day, let alone that you would be there when it happened? How could I have known you would suddenly be—be human?" He asked, gesturing at me.

I had to give him that one.

"Look, I thought it was a coincidence—your name, your training—but then you were on the phone, and I heard you say your brother's name…" He shook his head. "Coincidence doesn't stretch that far. I left because I didn't want to hear anything else."

Yeah, me and my big mouth won the day yet again. "Don't care, man; I'm outta here."

Naturally, that was the moment when Leo chose to knock on the door—same boring knock as always—and I panicked. As far as I knew, Ryu hadn't seen Leo the first time, so opening the door was a bad idea, 'cause no matter how harmless he was pretending to be, we really didn't need the Foot knowing _two_ of our human faces. On the other hand, if Leo kept knocking, Chuck would come out to see why no one was answering the door, and then it'd probably devolve into a huge fight.

I had a sinking feeling that we were heading for a fight no matter what, so I figured it'd be better to actually have Leo at my back rather than stuck out in the hall. I lunged for the door, flinging it open and body-checking Leo further out into the hallway and towards the stairs. "Leo, we gotta go, now."

Leo caught me by the arms, holding me in place and looking seriously confused and kinda worried, not that I could blame him. "Mikey, what—are you okay? What's going on?"

I could hear Ryu reach the door. "Wait—"

Too late for anonymity; I turned around to face Ryu. "Leo, he's part of the Foot!"

Leo went dead-still, his eyes raking over Ryu before dropping down to see the tattoo on Ryu's arm. He moved to stand in front of me, and I swear his eyes went black. "What a coincidence," he said, his voice dark.

Ryu held his hands out. "For the love of—please, will you let me explain myself?"

I suddenly had the totally weird urge to laugh at how surreal this was—us as humans, standing in an apartment hallway, while a Foot ninja in an honest-to-goodness apron asked us to wait and talk nicely.

"I think there's very little we don't know about you," Leo retorted tightly. "You're an ally of Karai—"

"Just like you have been in the past?" Ryu interrupted. He winced as Leo's eyes narrowed, but plowed on. "Look, you of all people should know that things aren't always as they appear; as often as you've been judged for your looks, one would think you wouldn't be so quick to do the same."

Leo paused to watch him intently, and I had to admit that as much as I wanted to be gone, Ryu had a point. Leo looked over at me, then glanced back at Ryu. "There's being judged for your looks, and then there's being judged for your associations," he pointed out levelly. "What do you want?"

"I want a chance to explain before you jump to any more conclusions," he said quickly. "I don't want Chuck or Ryan dragged into anything because you and your brothers think I'm an enemy."

"Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure that mark on your arm definitely makes you an enemy," I said sarcastically.

Ryu pinched the bridge of his nose. "And you've never been wrong about someone before, in all your oh-so-knowledgeable twenty years?"

Okay, so he had a point. We had made a couple mistakes in the past, meeting people we thought were enemies who turned out _not_ to be; Traximus, Nano, Quarry and his friends…they all kinda sprang to mind. And granted, the guy hadn't, you know, tried to slit my throat with the knife in the kitchen (and that _totally_ sounded like a game of Clue), which is kinda what I would've expected from any self-respecting Foot soldier. But still… "Twenty-_one_ years," I said, just to be difficult, then glanced at Leo. "Bro?"

Leo was still staring at Ryu, not even blinking, and Ryu was meeting his gaze, which was impressive considering how serious a full-blown Leo Glare could get. He glanced at me for a second and I shrugged; I was willing to stay long enough to figure out what was going on, provided the conversation stayed weaponless. If nothing else, I figured we ought to know if we needed to be on the look-out from now on. Leo looked back at Ryu.

"You have five minutes."

"It's going to take a bit longer than that," Ryu said quietly.

"Talk quickly," Leo advised.

Ryu sighed and shook his head, waving us into the apartment.

I wasn't sure what Ryu was gonna say, but it was gonna have to be a heck of a story to satisfy Leo. Heck, and me too, if I was honest. Leo and I sat down on the couch while Ryu took a chair a good five feet away, wiping his hands off.

Ryu took a breath and started speaking quietly. "I was born in Japan, one of two sons. My family wasn't wealthy, but we got by; my father owned a small supply store, and it was enough to meet our needs. It wasn't the best of neighborhoods, though, and as time went on, burglary became more of an issue. My older brother started staying up at night to guard the store. After he sent a few would-be thieves home nursing bruises and occasionally broken bones, people learned not to try our store, and the attempts tapered off." He smiled slightly. "My brother was fascinated by martial arts, and was…gratified to have so many chances to use what he'd learned over the years. Eventually things were quiet every night, and we thought that would be the end of it." Ryu glanced down at his hands, and I saw that his knuckles had gone completely white. "Then one morning I woke up to go check on him… and he was dead. Killed. He'd been beaten and stabbed and just—left there. Like nothing. Like he didn't matter. Nothing had been stolen, except for him."

Mortal enemies or no, I couldn't help feeling sorry for the guy; you can't fake pain like the kind I could hear in his voice. I glanced at Leo, but his expression hadn't changed, except for a few creases around his eyes; something like that was the kind of nightmare I figured Leo had on a nightly basis.

"The months that followed were…understandably hard," Ryu said thickly, his voice rasping a bit before he cleared his throat. "Our store closed for the first month after my brother's death. When it finally did reopen, it was only because we couldn't afford to have it closed any longer; my father was still very hesitant. He knew we needed someone to watch the store, but he was unwilling to risk me, so he was thinking about hiring some help. And that was when Saki showed up."

I could feel Leo tense about as easily as I could see it happen, and I knocked my knee against his, trying to ground him a little; for all that he was about the whole Zen-master "flow with the world" thing, Leo didn't let go of the past easily. Me, I figured there was always enough coming up in the future to deal with, especially in our lives; why hang onto the past? He glanced over at me, some of his tension easing slightly, and I figured that was as good as it was gonna get.

Ryu grimaced. "Saki was powerful even then, a well-known business man, and well-respected. He showed up almost three months to the day of my brother's murder. He said he'd been visiting old friends in the area and had heard of the incident, and wanted to offer his condolences." He shook his head. "Saki has always been a convincing liar."

Leo snorted slightly, and I echoed it. Shredder, a good liar?

Well, _duh_.

"Soon after that, Saki came back, again on the pretense of talking. It was casual, like a concerned friend checking up on us, except that none of us knew what to make of it. We knew that we didn't have anything to offer or interest him, but we'd heard he'd adopted a child, and wondered if maybe this was some sort of altruistic streak that he'd developed." Ryu politely ignored the way Leo twitched at the mention of Karai and kept going. "Then one day he said he had an offer for my father. They were both businessmen, he said, and they understood that while some losses were inevitable, others were unacceptable. He bowed slightly to my brother's shrine, then nodded at me as well when he said this."

Ryu cleared his throat, looking like just telling the story again was pissing him off. "He said he would hate to see my father lose me as well, and knew that guards were expensive, so he wanted to offer his help. He wanted to give me a job as one of his aides, and would post some of his own men to guard our store in return. His terms were that I would work for him for at least five years, and he assured my parents that in that time I would be well-trained and safe, and I'd be able to begin establishing myself professionally."

I couldn't help gaping at him a little. "And you fell for that?"

Ryu glared at me. "We were all still reeling from loss, my parents most of all. I was only sixteen at the time, and by then, Saki had been a master liar for decades." His eyes shifted to Leo. "I believe I was little older than you were when he made you a similar offer."

Leo looked down, staring at his feet; like most things, he'd never really stopped beating himself up for falling for Shredder's lies, even if it all worked out alright. "Just by a year," he said quietly. "I was fifteen when—when we met." He scrubbed a hand down his face. "And you're right; he has a lot of experience when it comes to deception."

Ryu nodded. "And my father, though a shrewd businessman in his own right…he never recovered from the loss of my brother. He knew that he had to do something, though; life doesn't wait for anyone's grief. And I was still an idealist, and wanted to do what I could to help my family. Five years at what sounded like an easy job in order to ensure our shop and our family wouldn't be targeted again seem well worth it to me; I agreed."

Leo's glare finally eased up slightly. "What happened?"

"The first two years were fine; I received physical and job training and became a guard. I was kept with Saki most of the time, in order to build my loyalty to him and so that he could control what I saw and heard and learned about him and his practices." Ryu shook his head. "From then on, though...Saki decided he'd put enough effort into the facade. He introduced me to the Foot and told me what my life would consist of from now on. And if I tried to leave, he'd kill my parents; the guards he had positioned at our family's store could easily turn on them, he told me, and all it would take was one word from him. I was trapped."

"How did you come to New York?" Leo asked quietly.

"Many of the...less trusted Foot were brought here as a way of keeping us in line," Ryu explained. "We were half a world away from our families; we had no identities here, no contacts, nothing except the Foot. Saki wanted to hammer that home. I was sent along as part of his guard; it was less of a position of honor and more of a way to keep an eye on me, and to constantly remind me what kind of fate I would face if I tried to desert."

"So when did you make a run for it?" I asked. I was curious about how he managed to leave, but what I really wanted to know was if he'd been part of the group that had attacked Leo and trashed April's shop. 'Cause if he was, it didn't matter how decent he seemed or if Ryan liked him, I was gonna dent his face.

"After you four fought Saki for the first time," he said softly. "I had learned just the day before from one of the other Foot ninja that Saki was the one responsible for my brother's death; he'd approached him with the offer of a job, but my brother…apparently he was better at detecting lies than I was. He refused, and Saki killed him to protect his reputation. I had decided I was going to kill Saki or die trying when he sent nearly the entire Clan into the city to go after you. And when I thought he was dead...well, I had nothing else to keep me there, not even revenge."

Ryu got quiet for a minute, and I tried not to fidget. I wanted to know what had happened, but I could recognize how people got when they talked about unpleasant memories.

"Several died that night, and more of us ran," he finally continued. "It wasn't until several weeks later that I discovered Saki was still alive; it took a few days for him to heal and regroup, and that had been just long enough for my trail to go cold, which was the only reason I wasn't found. Soon after, I ran into some of my allies and heard the news. I laid low for another week, hardly even daring to go out for food, and then I ran into Chuck. We all knew which police officers were in Saki's pocket and which ones to steer clear of, and when I'd been a Foot member, Chuck had fallen into the second category, so I contacted him in hopes of having an ally. I gave him the names of the police officers that I knew had been bought off by Saki, and when he checked them out and discovered I was telling the truth, he invited me over to talk. Over the course of a few months we got to know each other, and he offered to let me stay with him in exchange for the help I'd given him."

I wanted to believe him, but even I had to admit that it sounded like a movie; a bad guy sees the error of his ways, turns his life around, and starts fighting for the side of good. "So how long have you been living with Chuck?"

"About five years."

I glanced at Ryu's arm, finally hitting on what had been bugging me about his story. "If you've been gone for so long, how come you haven't gotten rid of your tattoo?"

Ryu looked at his arm, sweeping his fingers over the mark. "I'd like to, believe me, but it's not safe to do so. Karai has spies and informants everywhere, largely in the underbelly of the city. The only places I could go to in order to get this removed would be the seediest ones, which in turn would most likely be the ones who would immediately contact Karai and alert her to the fact that someone with her mark came into their establishment. It's too much of a risk."

"I think we're missing the real question," Leo interrupted mildly. "How much contact do you still have with the Foot?"

* * *

**Satou Ryu**

I tried to hide my urge to grimace at the question. It was foolish to expect Leonardo not to ask it, given his obvious distrust, but I'd hoped to avoid it nonetheless. "What makes you think that I have any contact with them?"

The first hint of humor I'd seen from him all afternoon crept into his face as he arched one eyebrow sardonically. "I'm not stupid, Ryu, and I know you aren't either. Nothing with the Foot is quite so neat; there are no easy breaks, no finality. It's impossible to completely disappear from the radar of an organization with eyes and ears all over New York, especially when they're all trained to garner information from people's absence as much as their presence."

I couldn't help the flicker of admiration I felt. I could see now for myself that there was an excellent reason why the Turtles had survived for so long; they were obviously well-grounded in the tactics of war. "I remain in contact with certain of my old squad members, those I know that I can trust," I admitted. "It's minimal, for all our sakes. I contact their families if I can, and in return, they warn me if my name comes up, or if any sweeps are threatening to come close to this building. If anyone manages to escape, mostly by being presumed dead and left behind, I let my allies know that they can send people to me, and I'll try to help." I shrugged. "It's as much as I can do safely."

Michelangelo glanced at Leo, then me. "So you keep up on their movements? Could you tell us what they're doing and where they're going?"

"No."

"No?" Michelangelo blinked, looking taken aback.

"Don't misunderstand. I don't hate you, but I'm not going to risk my comrades' safety for you," I said bluntly. "Karai…she is less stable than ever these days. From what I've heard, she imprisons people at the slightest offense. And her search for you…it's relentless. If you were to suddenly show up everywhere the Foot go and foil everything…she would instantly suspect a traitor, or traitors. And while I don't care about the success of the Foot, I do worry about the comrades I still have inside. You've always managed something on your own in the past, and I'm sure you will this time as well." I was completely serious; some of the more lighthearted—and incautious—soldiers had kept a running tally of how many times the Turtles had broken into headquarters, as well as how many times they'd ruined plans.

It had been a decently long list, before Karai had discovered it and executed the ones keeping it for their disrespect.

Michelangelo frowned, but Leonardo nodded slowly. "I can respect that," he said finally.

It was odd, but somehow I had thought he would; as much as he had more reason than anyone to hate the Foot, we—they—all knew of his honor and the esteem he held his brothers in. And from his many clashes with Karai, we all knew that he expected that same kind of honor out of all his allies.

"Given our situation, I think you could also understand that I'd be disinclined to trust any information we _did_ get from you," Leonardo continued mildly, his voice and expression pleasant, his eyes anything but.

I couldn't help a wry smile; this one was steel through and through. "I could."

Michelangelo looked between us, his eyes lingering on me, and I met his gaze. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, but I knew that I hoped to gain his trust as much as his brother's, not just for Ryan's sake, but because I found I liked him, his irreverent humor. He was so different from the idea of a ninja that I had spent my life with, and worlds away from what we'd been taught the turtles were like, which was both surprising and oddly refreshing.

For now, however, it seemed that Michelangelo was reserving judgment, and I was willing to take small victories where I could find them, no matter how unnerving his silent watchfulness was when compared to his usual energy. He turned to Leonardo and raised an eyebrow. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah."

I stood with them, following them to the door several paces behind. While I didn't want to push my luck, I also didn't want any bridges burnt; there would be no easy way to explain to Ryan why Michelangelo suddenly was unable to visit again. Additionally, I had had a healthy respect for the turtles when I'd been part of the Foot, anonymous and backed by hundreds; now, when it was just me, and possibly Chuck, against the four of them…well. They weren't odds I was interested in.

Michelangelo headed down the stairs, nodding at me in farewell before he moved out of sight, and I glanced to the side to see Leonardo watching me watch his brother.

His gaze never wavered. I wondered idly if this one knew how to bend, or if he'd only ever learned how to rebuild himself after breaking.

"I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that the attack _was_ just an unhappy coincidence, because as you said, it's nearly impossible for you to have known Michelangelo would be out that day," he said quietly, his eyes steely. "But I can assure you, if _anything_ happens to my brother, I'll know the origin, and I won't hesitate to deal with the situation."

I nodded slightly, unwilling to drop my gaze; as much as I was disinclined to be frightened of someone a decade younger than me, I knew how much of a threat Leonardo posed. And age or no, he made me want to step carefully. All the same, though, I was not willing to be blamed for all the past actions of an organization I'd been tricked into joining. "I'll remember that," I said calmly. "Should I warn Chuck and Ryan that they need to be just as cautious?"

I hadn't thought it possible, but his eyes went even darker. "No," he said lowly. "Unlike some, I've never gone after innocents, and I don't ever plan to start."

It had probably been a mistake to offer such an insult, veiled or no; however fierce the enmity between the Turtles and the Foot, they _had_ always drawn the line before the Foot did. Still, I owed it to Chuck and Ryan to ensure that they'd be safe; when I had moved in with them, I'd sworn to myself that they wouldn't ever suffer for my mistakes and past alliances, and it was a promise I meant to keep.

"You're right, you never have," I offered apologetically. "Look, I can't promise anything, and I meant it when I said I wouldn't ask anyone to stick their necks out for you. But if you want, as long as it doesn't endanger my comrades, I can pass any information I get from them on to you."

"The only thing I want from you is your word that you will not touch my brothers." Leonardo replied bluntly. He turned to head down the stairs, then paused, turning his head back slightly to glance at me. "Understand, I don't hate you, I'm just not inclined to trust you, and I think you can appreciate why. If I've misjudged you, I look forward to being proved wrong. I appreciate that you looked after Michelangelo, and thank you for your hospitality on his behalf, and for your explanation." He nodded to me, then made his way down the stairs.

I sighed. Well. I suppose that had gone as well as it could have, given the circumstances. A warning and a demand for zero contact; it was about what I'd expected. I shook my head and slipped back into the apartment, unsurprised to see Chuck waiting when I turned around. "You heard?"

He nodded. "I did. I would have come out to back you up, but given how jumpy they seemed…I didn't think it would help." His face was solemn. "You explained what your past was like, and even about them a little," he nodded in the direction Michelangelo and Leonardo had gone, "but I don't think I ever fully understood it until now. There really is a lot of hate and history between you, and reason for it, isn't there?"

Reason? Oh yes, there was plenty of that. "There is. They have definitely survived things no one should have even had to go through, and obviously, they carry the scars."

Chuck tilted his head, setting a handful of brochures down on the table. "Some more than others; Mike seems to have learned how to let go better than his brother." He let out a breath. "I don't think I've heard that much—world-weariness in someone so young before."

I glanced over his shoulder out the window, looking over the skyline. "He has reason for it; him more than anyone."

"Why, exactly? What happened to him?"

"Several things," I said awkwardly. The Turtles' involvement with the Foot, and Leonardo's specifically…nothing about it was comfortable to relate. "Saki sought to trick him the same way he tricked me, by offering Leonardo a chance to work together. Saki told him it was to fight evil, to protect the people of the city, but it was a lie; he wanted to punish their teacher through Leonardo. They fought, their family and Saki, and thought they killed him. When Saki returned, though, he sent half of all his forces after Leonardo to...run him down. Regular soldiers, Hun, Foot Tech, the Elite...everything."

Chuck looked shaken. "After a child? A fifteen-year-old?"

"Yes. Honor doesn't matter to Saki; victory does."

"Were...were you part of it?"

I shook my head. "To my relief, I wasn't. I'd abandoned the Foot by then."

Chuck stared at me, sitting down heavily. "How could he survive something like that?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "They are all very skilled, and even though Leonardo is generally considered the best of his brothers, he shouldn't have survived such odds. It's thanks to his brothers and father, the help of their friends, and a great deal of luck, I suppose."

"That would definitely be enough reason to hate the Foot."

"It's still not everything," I said quietly. "He and Karai...share similar mindsets on some issues, and are more than slightly similar in several respects. They became...close, which is as much as anyone knows. But when it came down to a choice between their—camaraderie, I suppose—and Saki...Karai chose Saki, and stabbed Leonardo in the back. Literally."

Chuck stared at me, looking disgusted. "How could anyone willing be part of such a group?"

I knew he wasn't talking about me, because he had told me several times that he understood my situation, but the question cut just the same. "Some people consider success to be worth any price, even the ones that Saki demands. And if Saki knows anything, it's how to instill loyalty through fear. He keeps people in the Foot through threats; if they have family, he'll kill them if someone tries to leave. Even if they don't, if they're alone...there are still very few places to hide in New York where Saki can't find someone, and he has no lack of volunteers willing to hunt someone down."

He sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face. "I used to think that this kind of thing was a good reason to leave the force; I wouldn't have to hear about people like that anymore, people hurting each other like that. It didn't take long to realize it was worse, because now I just can't do anything about it."

I reached out and squeezed his arm gently. "I've thought it for years, Chuck: no matter how much you hurt after…after your wife's passing, you were never in danger of ceasing to care. It's just not in you."

Chuck snorted quietly. "Maybe, maybe not. But sometimes…sometimes you find that even if your heart doesn't give out, that doesn't mean the rest of you can keep going."

"I suppose it doesn't."

He shook himself slightly, wary as always of letting himself fall back too deeply into mourning his wife. "Thoughts for another day," he said briefly. "Leo and Mike…do you think they'll come back?"

I shrugged. "I think it's unlikely that Leonardo will, unless something happens. Michelangelo…I hope he will. Ryan likes him, and…I confess I'm curious about him. About all of them."

A confused smile crept onto Chuck's face. "How do you mean?"

"I heard about Michelangelo and his brothers rarely before I met them, but we were all given to understand that they were freaks and enemies, more than anyone else. Saki would say little else, expecting that that would be all we cared about, but I was always curious. It only got worse after I saw Leonardo for the first time. He was obviously young and naïve, both for showing up in such a place alone, and in trusting Saki for even a heartbeat. Still, he didn't seem at all afraid to be so outnumbered, and there was no question that he had the skills to back up such a mindset," I said slowly, thinking of that day, when I'd crouched on the rafters of that warehouse with my comrades and wondered what was so special about the creature below us.

"Part of me was jealous of him," I admitted, "because even though Saki had chosen to come after me personally as well, I know it was because I was an easy target in the wake of my brother's death. Leonardo…it was known, if not spoken of, that he'd been targeted because of his skill, just as much as he'd been targeted because his alliance or death would hurt his sensei grievously."

"And now?" Chuck asked, genuinely curious. "What do you think about him now?"

I blew out a breath, thinking about the almost tactile aura of defensiveness Leonardo had radiated the entire time we'd talked. "About the same as I have since then, that there is a great deal about him I'm unlikely to ever know. Still, one rarely has the opportunity to get to know an enemy as a person, and I'm still very curious about all of them. Michelangelo…he's always been a puzzle, to more than just me, I think. Being a ninja…it's not the kind of life that is easy to live, let alone to laugh at. You can't help being curious about the kind of person who can laugh at Death while playing tag with it on nearly a daily basis."

"I see what you mean, I think. I hope they'll be back, then."

"As do I." I thought about Leonardo's refusal to trust any help that I could offer, as well as Michelangelo's request. "Chuck, if Michelangelo—if Mike calls you again, to pick up the pamphlets, will you let me know?"

He nodded. "Sure. Mind if I ask why?"

"I want to include some additional information with them," I said slowly. "There's not a lot that I can tell them, but there are some warnings that I can give. And even if Leonardo won't heed them, there's a chance that Mike might."

"I suppose we'll see," he replied easily, pushing the pamphlets aside and heading for the kitchen. Chuck had a habit of pulling people along with him too quickly for them to dwell on their problems, and I'd learned it was better to go along than to try and resist him. "You can't make them accept help; just be willing to offer it when you get a chance." He clapped me on the shoulder, steering me back towards the cutting board. "Now, I believe you promised us some curry."

I laughed ruefully and washed my hands. "I did. I'll get right on that."

My mind was almost too full to focus on cooking for the rest of the afternoon. It didn't escape me that neither Michelangelo nor Leonardo had let slip even the slightest comment about how they'd come to be human…nor what they were doing, where they lived, or even the states of Donatello and Raphael. I supposed that I should have been concerned, given that the advantage of all the information, including where I lived, was in their hands, while I didn't know a thing. Still, I found I wasn't that worried.

Between my enemies and my erstwhile allies, I knew who I had more to fear from.

* * *

**Donatello**

By the time I showed up to the address that Nikki had given me on Saturday, I was more than a little apprehensive; there were a lot of activities that could require you to "wear clothes you don't mind getting dirty," and a lifetime of living with my brothers had taught me a healthy fear of such suggestions. Still, this was Nikki, and I was pretty sure she wasn't the type to visit harm on someone she'd only just met, let alone someone she was dating.

Pretty sure, anyway.

I was double-checking the time on my phone, as well as the directions I had, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I grabbed their wrist as I whirled around, coming face-to-face with Nikki, who blinked at me in surprise. I panicked for a second before trying to play it off, sliding my grip down to her fingers as I smiled. "Thought you could sneak up on me, huh?"

She cocked her head to the side, then smiled slightly. "I did. I didn't expect you to catch me, though."

She didn't seem mad or uneasy, and I felt my stomach settle, able to smile like I meant it. "There's very little that gets past me," I said loftily.

Nikki laughed, but there was a curious set to her features. "I bet. It'd be interesting to see what does."

I shrugged noncommittally. "So what's on the agenda for today? Where are we going?"

Her smile turned sly. "We're here already," she answered calmly.

I looked up at the sports supply store we were standing in front of, extremely confused. Were we going shopping? I really hoped we weren't going shopping. Nikki's face was still lit with a smile, and I capitulated. "Alright, this round goes to you; I'm completely confused."

She laughed and slid her arm through mine. "Your problem, Don, is that you aren't taking proper notice of your surroundings."

There was something very wrong with the world when my date sounded like my brother. I shoved Leo's face out of my head as Nikki tugged on my arm, turning with her obediently until we faced the other side of the street. "_That's_ what we're doing," she said, her voice full of satisfaction.

I was looking straight at a building covered with the most garish jumble of colors I'd seen in a while, as a crowd of people stumbled out of the front doors.

We were, apparently, going to play paintball.

"You're kidding," I blurted. Paintball? I'd seen games and exhibitions on TV when Mikey had had control of the remote, and the entire concept still made no sense to me.

"Occasionally, but not right now," Nikki replied, leading me across the street. "I told you that you need to be more spontaneous. You haven't tried it before?"

"No. And technically it doesn't count as being spontaneous if you've had this planned out for the past week," I argued helplessly, following her to the front doors. Another trio staggered past us, looking like they lost a fight with an entire enclave of particularly vindictive artists, or had just finished slaughtering an entire colony of Smurfs.

Nikki paused, canting her head as she thought. "You're right," she admitted. "However, this counts as pushing your boundaries, so my point still stands, and this is still a good idea."

It was an idea, certainly; I just wasn't sure it was a good one. "But what's the point?"

"Cathartic, socially-approved violence, the last time I checked; that and the opportunity to take part in something extremely messy."

I hesitated for another second, wondering if there was any way that I could explain how much I hated guns, without having to explain why, and realized that there really wasn't. Not to Nikki, at least; she seemed to catch a lot more than most people, and I knew better than anyone that our story already stretched the limits of general believability. If we really hadn't lived in the city until this year, how much exposure would I really have gotten to muggers and gang members with guns? My only option at this point seemed to be to take it like a man. "Alright, why not."

Nikki grinned. "You'll have fun, honest."

I wasn't quite as sure as she was, but I followed her in paying for our tickets and suiting up. By the time we were ready, I felt like I was ready for riot duty; I had a paintball gun, goggles, and a distinct sinking feeling in my stomach. Still, even if it wasn't as pronounced as some, I did had a competitive streak, and as I looked over the group we were heading out with, I was pretty sure I could keep from being completely embarrassed.

Our referee lead us out back to a fenced-in grassy area full of inflatables of various sizes and shapes, told us our game for the day was elimination; no teams, just mass slaughter.

Everyone except me seemed really excited about that.

"Five viable hits equal a kill; the refs will call the kills, not the players. No headshots, no overshooting. Torso shots will get you the kill," the referee explained cheerfully. "Last one standing wins the game, and free entry at their next visit!"

I glanced at Nikki, who hefted her gun grimly. "So the point is…?"

"Shoot people, don't get hit. And everyone's your enemy."

"Even you?"

She smiled. "Especially me; first one to get killed buys dinner."

I found myself flashing back to the Battle Nexus all those years ago, being the first one eliminated, and discovered that I was not up for a repeat. "You're on."

The ref shooed us onto the field. "Game play starts in one minute!"

Everyone scrambled away from each other, and I followed their lead, distancing myself from my neighbors and trying to come up with some sort of plan. There were about half a dozen guys and a few girls in our group, including me and Nikki, and I felt it'd be more polite to target the guys first. I tried to catalog what I knew about guns, and realized it wasn't much. I'd have to depend on being faster and better at dodging than everyone else.

"_Begin!"_

It took less than a minute for me to realize I'd vastly over- and underestimated my fellow "hunters;" two girls were taken out in the first minute alone, and those who were left went after those who spared them with a vengeance.

Chivalry, apparently, was dead. Okay then.

A small punch in the middle of my back startled me from my observations and had me spinning to bring my gun to bear, firing twice. It was only after I saw the shots hit that I realized my attacker was Nikki, peering out at me from beneath her goggles. "No mercy," she said grimly, looking at the splatters of orange above her hip.

"No mercy," I called back over my shoulder as I bolted.

I soon discovered that fast didn't do you a whole lot of good when you were in a field full of enemies and enemy fire; I took two more hits from people I didn't see and one on accident. And the shots _hurt_; I knew from the makeup of the guns that they packed a lot of pressure, and that the "bullets," being small, concentrated all their impact energy in one area, but I still thought something the size of a large grape shouldn't feel like getting hit with a rock. Still, I managed to hang on for a few minutes longer than I expected, shooting people from behind and staying low. Eventually, though, a guy popped up from behind an inflatable and shot me right in the middle of the chest, and a nearby ref waved me out.

As odd and pointless as the game seemed, I found I was oddly disappointed to be "killed." Fortunately, the other players were eliminated within the next five minutes, and the refs waved us all out for another game; this time, the target zones were arms and legs, and it took a lot longer to kill people. I was dead within ten minutes again, but I'd made everyone work for it.

Still, my consolation was that Nikki was already waiting in the eliminated zone both times when I got there, and I grinned at her after the second game. "I hope you've got someplace nice in mind for dinner," I teased her as I pulled off my goggles.

She shook her head. "I'm taking you to Burger King, and that's it," she retorted as we handed in our equipment. "I thought you said you hadn't played before."

I blinked. "I haven't."

"You were one of the last six people standing both, and paintball isn't a sport with beginner's luck." Nikki tilted her head, and I recognized it now as her thinking pose. "You're very fast."

I hesitated, picking up on the unheard question; halfway through our last date, Nikki had apparently picked up on my unease with questions, and had started phrasing things as statements or leading comments. I could tell she was leaving things open to me to answer, but I also knew that not answering what anyone else would consider a harmless question would only make her more curious. "Our dad taught us some martial arts, and lot of it is about speed."

Surprise crossed her face. "Martial arts? You don't seem the type."

There was no helping the laugh that burst out of me. "You're not the first to say that."

She nodded slowly, and I could almost sense her filing away this newest piece of information, just as I was adding it to the mental tally of things I'd told her. Her mouth tugged up into a smile as she reached forward to tug on my hair, which I saw was completely blue for a good three inches from the end. "Well, regardless, did you have fun?"

"I did," I admitted. I was realizing just how much Nikki tried to find out with each activity she planned, and wondered what was up next. Still, paintball had genuinely been fun, and I found myself hoping I could come back with my brothers sometime; if I could be out there with them for one of the team games, without having to worry about explaining anything to anyone, I was pretty sure we could destroy the competition. Raph and Mikey especially would love it, and be unapologetically out for blood. Leo would most likely see it as excellent training of one sort or another, but I figured he'd also probably have fun despite himself. "It's definitely interesting."

"Good. Well, I don't know about you, but I'm starving, and I suppose I owe you some dinner."

"You do," I agreed, carefully slipping my arm around her waist, waiting to see how she'd react. She just smiled, though, and I relaxed a bit. Something suddenly occurred to me. "Oh, and I'm sorry I shot you."

Nikki rolled her eyes. "That was the point. And it let me know that you don't cling to the whole "damsel in distress" point of view. Besides, I shot you in the back first."

I laughed, wondering what Nikki would think if she knew just how many "damsels" my brothers and I had rescued over the years, or that I had shot her before I knew she was the one who'd shot me. All in all, I figured I'd keep that to myself; for some reason, she seemed to approve of the fact that I hadn't hesitated to attack her, and letting her believe I had been getting revenge was easier than explaining the strict honor code Sensei had instilled in us with respect to women.

"So," Nikki began leadingly, glancing up at me out of the corner of her eyes. "Have you studied martial arts for long?"

I took a breath and pulled my attention back to Nikki, preparing for another round of Q&A while trying not to give too much away. "Since I won our arrangement, I get to ask my question first," I argued.

She blinked, looking surprised. "Alright, shoot."

"How long have you had a gun fixation?"

Even though I knew the question wouldn't distract her for long, her laugh was worth it.

* * *

By the time I dropped Nikki off, I was tired both mentally and physically. I was chagrined to realize that a half an hour of what I used to consider mild activity had felt like a workout; I'd been slacking on my training more than I realized or wanted to admit. Raph probably had a point about training not raising anyone's suspicions, and I figured I'd see if he wanted to pick back up with some sparring; if we moved the furniture and were careful, we could probably do at least a little work in our living room.

In terms of my mental fatigue, I knew there was no help for it; Nikki was insatiable. I was learning a lot about her in return, mostly by asking questions to keep her busy, but I couldn't help feeling like she was getting more out of me than I wanted or realized. While I could guess how she would interpret certain facts about me, there was no way to be sure, even though I knew I was probably just being paranoid.

I paused for a second at the intersection that would lead back to my and Raph's apartment, and took the crosswalk to the right instead, figuring I'd go visit Mikey and Leo. I hadn't seen either of them in a few days, and while that wouldn't seem like much to most people, it was still weird for me not to have all of my brothers in my life every day.

Leo answered the door after the first knock, blinking at me in surprise. "Don. You're…what happened?"

I glanced down to see all the paint splatters had dried, and as a result, I looked like a Jack Pollock painting. "Nikki's idea for our date today was paintball," I explained, slipping into the apartment past him.

He nodded slowly. "Okay. Did you have fun?"

"Surprisingly, yes; I'm going to have a few bruises tomorrow, though, I suspect."

Leo pushed up one of my sleeves and grimaced at the welt he found on my arm. "I think you're right. Do you want some clean clothes?"

I looked from my clothes to the couch and knew I'd drive both of us insane if I sat down the way I was. "Please."

Leo nodded and padded towards his room, tapping slightly on the wall near the kitchen as he passed. A blonde head popped out a few seconds later, and Mikey grinned as he spotted me. "Hey, Don! How'd the date—whoa. Did you lose a fight with a paint can?"

"Paint_ball_," I corrected. "Several of them, actually."

"Awesome! I totally wanna try that sometime."

"You should, it's actually a lot of fun." I caught the jeans and shirt Leo tossed me and changed quickly, rolling up my painted clothes and setting them carefully on the doormat. I sniffed the air. "What's cooking?"

"Ack, dinner!" Mikey dove back into the kitchen, and Leo huffed a laugh as we sat down.

"Mikey's making sloppy Joes," he explained. "Emphasis on the sloppy part. Still, you're welcome to stay if you want."

I shook my head at the offer. "Nikki and I grabbed some dinner already, but thanks. So how has your day gone?"

Leo dragged a hand down his face. "It was…unexpected. We stopped by the apartment of someone Mikey met—"

"A woman?" I asked, surprised enough to interrupt.

Leo chuckled a little. "No, a young boy named Ryan; Mikey helped him out of some trouble with gang members looking for new, and not necessarily voluntary, recruits. Ryan's guardian is named Chuck. Anyway, Mikey went over there first, and I followed him a bit later, and when I got there…well, it turns out that Chuck's friend and roommate, Ryu, was part of the Foot."

I felt my stomach drop. "The Foot? Are you okay? Is Mikey—was he hurt?"

"We're both fine," Leo assured me quickly. "We talked for a while, and what Ryu told us…it's actually a story you'll probably recognize."

He related their afternoon, including Ryu's story, and I had to admit it sounded a lot like Leo's, which had probably pricked him a little. "Wow," I managed, sitting back in a daze. "That's…unexpected." And annoying; I couldn't help the flare of irritation I felt. Wasn't there _anywhere_ we could go where we wouldn't be followed by the Foot? "Do you believe him?"

Leo's eyes went distant. "I feel like I shouldn't, but I do. I believe his story, at least. As for how much contact he still has with the Foot…I don't know. I wouldn't blame him for not being completely honest with us about that, and so I can't say for sure if he _was_ completely honest. But he could have attacked Mikey at any time, could have laid a trap for me for when I arrived, and he didn't. And Chuck…I don't consider him a threat either."

I could hear the unspoken _"for now"_ tacked onto the end of Leo's sentence. "But that doesn't mean you trust either of them, does it."

One corner of Leo's mouth tugged up in a hard smile. "People change," he said simply.

I was careful to sidestep the Karai landmine attached to that loaded sentence. "What are you going to do?"

Leo started to reply, only to have Mikey trot out of the kitchen with two spoons loaded with what I assumed was sloppy Joe mix, which he promptly handed to us. "Try this," he ordered. "I've got no clue if I got the spices right."

"That's comforting," I grumbled, but I tried the mixture anyway; even on his worst days, Mikey had a knack for food, cooking it or finding it. And true to form, the mix tasted great, rich and full of flavor. I considered staying for dinner, but I knew Raph would be wondering where I was, and I had more coding to do. "It's great."

Leo nodded, collecting my spoon and hanging it back to Mikey along with his. "Good job, Mikey; is it almost ready?"

"Nearly. It's gotta cook for a little longer, so I've got just enough time to finish the pasta," Mikey replied, heading back into the kitchen. "Leo, you're on salad duty."

"You've got it." Leo stood to follow him, and I grabbed his arm. He raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Don?"

"What are you going to do about Ryu?" I asked quietly.

Leo shook his head slightly. "I don't know what I _can_ do," he responded. "Attacking him would only draw attention, and he doesn't have any pertinent information on our whereabouts, even if he does know we're human now. All we can do is hope he's telling the truth and that he won't try anything when Mikey's over there."

"He's going _back_?"

"I think he plans to, at some point," Leo replied. "He genuinely likes Ryan and Chuck. And I trust his judgment; Mikey's good at reading people."

"But what if it's just an act?"

"Don, if you're asking me to tell Mikey not to go over there…I want to, sort of, but I can't," he said softly; I could tell it was the only part of our discussion he _did_ care about keeping from Mikey. "Ordering you guys around isn't my place anymore; I have to be careful about how I cross that line." He rubbed his eyes. "And Mikey…he's growing. He knows how to be careful when it matters, Don, whatever we think of his occasional irreverence."

I let go of Leo's arm slowly, processing what he'd said. It was true that Ryu's actions matched his story, but it was still dangerous to be around him. All we had was his word, and given what we were telling the people we met about ourselves, I was fully aware how subjective and exclusive someone's word could be. "I could look them up," I offered quietly. "I kind of doubt there'll be a whole lot about Ryu out there, but I can check Chuck out at least."

Leo hesitated, glancing towards the kitchen, weighing the offer. "Alright," he agreed. "But if you don't find anything, drop it; if Ryu told the truth, and Chuck is completely uninvolved, then they deserve their privacy. And we don't want to blow their cover by drawing attention to them; if Ryu's story is true, his and Chuck's and even Ryan's safety depends on being invisible, just the same as ours does. If you do find something, though, let me or Mikey know."

"Really?"

He nodded. "We can't continue to keep things from him, Don; Master Splinter's right, he's not a kid any more, any more than the rest of us are. At this point…he's seen too much for there to be any point in trying to protect him from the bad things in the world; we can't treat him like an innocent when he's been right beside us all along, seeing the exact same things. Besides, I'd rather him know what he's going into. Things are going well between us, Don, and we're both trying, and I don't want to mess that up. You ought to know by now that he listens to everything we say, even if he chooses not to pay attention to it. All I can do is warn him, and if he decides to ignore me, considering he has the skill to take care of himself, well…that's his choice. All of you have that choice, and I know that, but I don't have to like it." Leo sighed. "I know it, and I'm trying to apply it, but it's…hard."

I couldn't help being shocked at Leo's words. They weren't a complete 180 from his usual opinions when it came to us, but they were still a shift; and considering the fact that Leo never bent on anything when it came to our safety, any shift was still surprising.

Leo smiled slightly and thumped me on the shoulder in farewell before he headed for the kitchen. Mikey exited a couple seconds later. "Hey, you aren't staying?"

I shook my head. "It smells great, but I got some dinner with Nikki, and I've got a few projects to take care of before Monday rolls back around. Look, are you and Leo still practicing every week?"

He blinked at the non sequitur but nodded. "Yeah, a few days a week. More hand-to-hand than weapons these days, but we cover the basics. Why?"

Because it was Mikey, it was easy to just say things and not have to always give a reason for them. "I might drop by a few times, if you'll let me know the days; I'll try and bring Raph too."

Mikey grinned. "Cool. It's usually Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, though sometimes it switches depending on Leo's schedule. I'll let you know."

"Great. Alright, I'm gonna head out. Have a good weekend, if I don't see you." I hesitated, then just blurted out the next words. "And be careful."

Mikey's face slipped into an easy smile. "What, with Leo, or with Ryu?" He rolled his eyes a little when I stared at him. "Dude, the fan in the kitchen isn't that loud, and you guys oughta know by now that there's no hiding secrets from the Battle Nexus Champion. It's cool; you guys are just worrying and being yourselves."

"You don't mind?" I asked carefully. Mikey had sore spots like everyone else, and even if we took his easygoing nature for granted most of the time, he could get annoyed just as easily as anyone by some things; being treated like a kid who didn't know any better was one of them.

"I don't think you're gonna find anything on either Chuck or Ryu, so I don't think it's necessary, but I get why you're doing it, and why Leo's freaked."

I nodded, relieved. "Sorry, I just…after dealing with Raph so much, sometimes it's hard to remember that not everyone reacts so dramatically to being looked out for."

"Yeah. It's just taken Raph ages to realize it's not him that Leo freaks out about, it's everyone else. Leo trusts us, he just doesn't trust the world with us," Mikey said simply. "And I don't think he's ever gonna."

"And that doesn't bother you?"

"Dude, Leo's been paranoid since forever. And yeah, maybe I'm the only one who's close enough for Leo to be paranoid about now, but I just…you learn to work around it. Telling him where I'm going isn't that big of a deal, and the way I figure, I might as well be glad he cares that much, y'know?" He shrugged, moving to prop his shoulder against the wall as I gathered my clothes. "And he's working to change, and I might as well take the chance to learn how to be responsible from the source."

It was kind of sad, somehow, to realize that Mikey had been growing a little ever since we'd made this change, and to have missed it. I realized that if I had been there to see it happen, I might not have been able to recognize just how much he'd changed, but I still regretted the distance a little. "Just keep doing what you're doing, Mikey; I think the fact that you're not trying to rush Leo through letting go is helping a lot."

He smiled slightly, looking unconvinced. "I dunno how much good I'm really doing, Donnie, but…I'm trying."

"That's all anyone can ask for, Mikey." I clapped him on the shoulder and let myself out of the apartment. "Now go take care of dinner before it burns."

Mikey winced and waved. "Right. See you at you practice?"

"Definitely."

I couldn't help thinking about Mikey on the way home, and the way he was changing. I hadn't asked him what lesson Master Splinter had given him, but somehow I could sense that he was working on it…which made me think about my own lesson. What had I really done? Granted, I had stood up for myself to Raph about practicing and how we approached our new lives, but other than that, I couldn't really see any progress. The only person I was learning about was Nikki.

I knew there wasn't a timeline, but I couldn't help but feel like maybe I was falling behind, as if I was back in our "schooling" years, waiting for Sensei to come around and collect our homework. I knew I couldn't force myself to change overnight, but maybe I needed to start looking for opportunities, talk to new people.

But first I had to find some new people…or rather, figure out _where_ to find some new people.

All I could do was try; it seemed like that was becoming our new family motto.

* * *

**Leonardo**

I woke up sharply Monday morning, something that was becoming a regular occurrence. Some days I would wake like I always had, and I would recognize my new room in our apartment, but other days my subconscious would pick up on unfamiliar things—new smells, the sound of traffic, human voices muffled by walls—and my instincts would have me jolting awake. The sense of rightness would settle in within a few moments, but having only a few old possessions and decorations as touchstones of the familiar, instead of being able to sense my brothers and father only a few rooms away, always left me unsettled on those mornings.

Still, it was reassuring to at least have something of a routine. Though it varied which days of the week I spent with Yuki-san, I inevitably started my mornings with meditation and then breakfast, which Mikey joined me for in varying states of awareness.

I had just poured myself some cereal when Mikey stumbled in, yawning widely. "Mornin', Leo."

"Morning. Sleep well?"

"Eh, pretty much. We practicing this morning?"

I shook my head. "Not today; I've got to head out in a little under an hour. Same thing on Thursday."

Mikey nodded and started rummaging through the fridge. "Cool. Donnie said he wanted to join us at practice a few times from now on, so I'll let him know what days to come over."

Don hadn't mentioned it to me on Saturday, but I told myself just to be glad he was coming rather than questioning why. "Sounds good. Will Raph be coming too?"

"Dunno, but Don said he'd talk to him."

"Good." I chased the last few pieces of cereal around my bowl. "If they call, let me know."

"Mkay." Mikey slumped at the table with a piece of toast, aimlessly tearing off bits at a time. He paused suddenly mid-chew and looked up at me. "You haven't called her back yet, have you?"

I blinked, feeling like I'd jumped into the conversation halfway. "Called who?"

He swallowed quickly. "The friendly bartender you met when we went out. You haven't called her back yet about her friend, have you?"

Oh. I could feel my stomach drop a little, and carefully looked back down at the bowl in front of me. "Well, we've been a little busy since then, so I haven't exactly—" I broke off as Mikey coughed loudly. "No," I muttered, slumping slightly. "I haven't."

Mikey just grinned at me, then jogged over to snatch the phone from the kitchen and hand it to me. "If you want, I'll stay here while you call. You know, for moral support."

"I don't think—"

"It'd be rude not to call her back."

"It's just—"

"Not to mention you'd probably run into her again. That or she'd come looking for you." Mikey shook his head slowly. "It would only be worse for you then."

Even though I knew he was just screwing with me, I had to admit he was probably right; I didn't know how, but I had the sneaking suspicion that if I didn't call Rae, I'd somehow run into her. And it probably would end—awkwardly.

…She was an extremely intimidating woman.

"It's too early," I tried. "I don't want to wake her up."

Mikey raised an eyebrow. "Nice try, dude, but it's 9 o'clock; most people are awake by now." He leaned over and tapped the phone. "Now go find the card she gave you and call her; you've already waited way longer than you should have."

I was pretty sure I could put him off if I really tried, but Mikey had a point; it really would be rude not to call Rae back at all, even if I only called to say I didn't want to be set up on a date. So despite the sinking feeling in my gut, I grabbed the card off of my dresser and sat back down at the kitchen table, punching the numbers in halfheartedly. Mikey scooted closer, one ear craned towards the phone.

The voice that answered sounded at least half asleep, and I found myself hoping I hadn't called the wrong number. _"Hello?"_

Here went nothing. "Hi, Rae? This is Leo. From uh, the bar the other night?"

There was a momentary pause on the other end of the line, then a burst of laughter. _"Da Vinci? I was starting to think you'd never call!"_

I didn't even bother trying to protest the nickname; after all these years, I was good at recognizing fights I had no chance of winning. "I'm sorry about the delay," I offered.

"_Ah, don't worry about it. I'm glad you called at all. Alright, then, let's get down to business. Are you busy this Friday night?"_

Technically, if I made plans now, I would in fact be busy then, but Mikey jabbed me in the side, raising an eyebrow, and mouthed "_tell the truth_" soundlessly. I glared at him. "No, actually, my Friday night is free," I admitted grudgingly.

"_Mm, excellent. How do you feel about coffee?"_

"What? It's…I guess it's okay. I'm more of a tea person, really, but—"

"_That's not a big deal, they have tea there too. Okay, here's the deal: this Friday night, you're gonna meet my friend Mimi for a date at Starbucks. Let's say…eight o'clock, alright?"_

"Rae, I actually—"

There was a huff of breath over the phone. _"C'mon, da Vinci, I promise she's a nice girl, a lot like you. You'll love her. Now remember, Starbucks at 8 this Friday. Oh, and I mean the one on Tenth and Sunland, should've been more specific. And wear something blue, it's a great color for you."_

"Wait, what?"

"_You can thank me later, da Vinci. And don't worry; I'll take care of letting Mimi know. Have fun!"_

A second later I was listening to the dial tone and wondering what had just happened. Mikey plucked the phone out of my hand and patted me on the shoulder. "Good job, bro! I'm sure it'll be awesome." He caught the way I glared at him and stuck out his tongue. "C'mon, how bad could it be? If she's a lot like you, maybe she's just as iffy about blind dates, and you can both call the whole thing off as soon as you get there. You'll be fine, bro, trust me."

"I'm throwing you under the next bus I come across," I promised darkly as I dumped my bowl in the sink and grabbed my things.

Mikey just nodded and shooed me out the door. "Love you too!"

"A fast bus," I muttered under my breath to the closed door. "Then I'm telling the driver to put it in reverse."

I was genuinely relieved to get to work that day, if for no other reason than I would have no time to think about the date I'd agreed to, or worry about Ryu and what risks his knowledge of us posed. Yuki-san was full of questions, now that she realized I didn't mind them, and wanted to work on her English nearly constantly. She learned quickly, and in truth she only needed help on some of the particulars, but it was still a good way to stay busy.

Yuki-san was waiting for me that day, as the phone call had set me behind schedule, though her bodyguard was absent. I smiled apologetically as I approached. "Yuki-san, I'm sorry I'm so late; I got conned into something by my brother, and it threw off my entire morning."

She smiled. "Michelangelo, correct?"

I'd shared enough stories with Yuki-san for her to be familiar with my brothers at least by name. I nodded grimly. "None other."

"I admit, I envy you sometimes, Leonardo-san; I never had a home life full of quite so much…excitement and fun as yours obviously was," Yuki-san admitted quietly.

"I love my brothers, don't get me wrong, but there's a lot to be said about a quiet home life," I muttered.

She laughed at that, one hand in front of her mouth to stifle the sound. It was good to see her relaxing with me after only a couple weeks; I was gratified to see who she was beneath who her family believed she was supposed to be. "So, any particular plans for today? I noticed that Kenji isn't here today."

"No, I wanted to visit Hitoshi-san today, and since it is not far, and we would not be out in public, my brother agreed that Kenji-san could have a day off," she explained.

I nodded as we crossed the street. "That sounds like a good plan. I hardly think that keeping an eye on you would cause a need for many days off, however."

Yuki-san pinked slightly. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you're extremely agreeable, and decidedly less likely to find or attract trouble than anyone else I know," I said honestly. "Yuki-san, I grew up with three brothers who could find trouble by waking up in the morning; I don't believe you could cause problems if you tried."

She smiled slightly, though the expression looked a little melancholic. "Thank you. I have been…well-counseled in how to comport myself."

I grimaced, realizing I'd stepped into a rather stifling part of her life; while I'd meant to say that she was extremely easy to get along with, she'd obviously taken it as a comment on how well her family had raised her to stay out of the way. "That's not what I meant," I assured her quickly. "You…you bend around others well, and your company is relaxing, and comfortable. I just meant that keeping you company is hardly strenuous, and I don't see why someone would need a break from it."

Yuki-san blinked at me, confusion evident on her face for several seconds before her eyes widened. "Oh. Oh! You were…teasing me, yes?"

"I was trying. It was supposed to be a compliment too."

She smiled. "Then I will take it as one."

I cleared my throat. "So, Hitoshi-san's, then? Do you want to walk, or take the subway?" It was habit to ask that by now, since we sometimes covered quite a bit of ground each day, though it was also generally a waste of time; Yuki-san seemed to relish the chance to walk around and be among people on her own, rather than being ushered around.

"Walk, I think."

We were both quiet for the duration of the walk, and I found myself thinking about what Yuki-san had said the first day I'd met her, about going into diplomatic affairs. It was an intriguing idea, I had to admit, though I didn't know how good I'd be at it; I'd be the first to admit that over the years I'd learned to order rather than suggest, and I was pretty sure that was not one of the things good diplomats did. Then there was also the fact that I had absolutely no clue what our foreign relations were like, who we were fighting or allied with; the only news I watched was local news, for tips on gang wars or the like, not international affairs.

Still. Maybe it was something I could learn.

Yuki-san seemed to have regained her equilibrium by the time we reached Hitoshi-san's dojo, and she was smiling as I opened the door. I glanced in, relieved to see that we'd managed to come when no classes were being held, and shut the door behind us.

"Greetings!"

Hitoshi-san's voice preceded him around the corner, and his face lit up when he saw us. "Yuki-chan! And Leonardo-san! I have been hoping for a visit, and now you have made my morning." He moved forward to fold Yuki-san into a hug, which she returned fervently. "Ah, look at you, you've grown so much! What a beautiful young woman you are."

Yuki-san dimpled. "Thank you, Hitoshi-san; it is so good to see you again."

"You as well! Leonardo-san, I'll forgive you for catching me unawares, but only because you come in such excellent company," he told me, smiling broadly.

I couldn't help laughing. "I appreciate it."

"This calls for tea," Hitoshi-san declared, reaching around us to flip his sign until it declared the dojo 'closed.' "And since you came at such a good time, there is someone I would like for you to meet." He ushered us towards his office, then leaned into the stairwell that led up to the second floor. "Na-chan, we have guests; come join us for some tea."

A feminine voice floated down the stairwell. "_Coming, tou-chan_."

"You have a daughter?" I asked, surprised to hear the nickname. "You never mentioned that."

Hitoshi-san smiled. "Oh, you know, the mind of an old man is a slippery thing," he said easily. "But yes, I have a daughter. She is your age, as a matter of fact."

There was something in his tone that reminded me uneasily of Mikey for some reason, especially since I'd never known Hitoshi-san to forget anything I'd told him in the past few weeks, but I brushed it off. At the sound of footsteps, I glanced up as his daughter came down the stairs, and I couldn't help being surprised; as far as I could tell, she looked more Native American than Japanese. She had dark brown hair that fell straight to her waist in a neat braid, and wide, brown, almond-shaped eyes set off by high cheekbones. Once she reached us, I saw that she stood only an inch shorter than I did.

Hitoshi-san stepped towards her and kissed her on the forehead. "Naomi-chan, this is Leonardo-san, a good friend of mine."

I offered my hand hurriedly. "Please, feel free to call me Leo. It's nice to meet you."

"You as well," she replied, her voice surprisingly husky for a woman. She glanced at Hitoshi-san, one eyebrow raised. "I'm glad I can finally say thank you to whoever's been keeping my father out of trouble lately; I appreciate it more than I can say."

I snorted, trying not to laugh at the dry humor in her voice. Hitoshi-san flapped his hand dismissively. "Don't listen to her, Leonardo-san; she impugns me on a regular basis. Na-chan, before you say anything else unkind about your dear father, say hello to an old friend; do you remember Yuki-chan?"

Naomi studied Yuki-san for a minute before smiling, her eyes lighting up. "Of course. You've grown about four feet since the last time I saw you, though; how are you doing?"

Yuki-san smiled brightly. "I am well. It is so good to be here, to see you and Hitoshi-san, and the city; Leonardo-san has been a wonderful guide."

Hitoshi-san tucked Yuki-san's hand under his arm. "Come, it is time for tea. Yuki-chan, you must tell me how your father is doing. Have his skills at _go_ improved at all since the last time we played?"

I fell in beside Naomi as we followed Hitoshi-san and Yuki-san into the office, trying to think of something to say. "Naomi-san, do you teach martial arts like your father?"

She glanced at me, then shook her head with a smile. "You're just as polite as tou-chan said you were," she commented absently. "Just Naomi is fine. And no, I don't; I do teach yoga here, however."

"Ah. That explains it."

One eyebrow lifted curiously. "Explains what?"

"You carry yourself very well, and you have excellent balance," I explained, realizing how I sounded. This was probably another hint that diplomacy was not in my future, if this was how I struck up a conversation with a stranger.

Naomi searched my face for a minute, looking puzzled, before smiling slightly. "Thank you. You've obviously trained quite a bit, to notice something like that."

I nodded. "My brothers and I were raised in the Japanese tradition by our father, so I started training early."

"You don't look Japanese," she admitted, then colored. "Sorry, that was rude."

"It's fine. I…have to admit that I thought the same thing about you."

She snorted. "There's nothing to apologize for, since it's obviously true. So my father says that you're new to the city."

"He did?"

Naomi smiled wryly, gesturing with her head at the way Hitoshi-san was talking animatedly with Yuki-san. "If you hadn't noticed, it's when he's _not_ talking that it's unusual. But yes, he mentioned it; he seems very fond of you. I apologize if he's been sharing anything you wished to keep private."

I couldn't very well say he had been, and honestly, two people knowing I was new to the city hardly counted as an issue. Meeting Ryu and trying to plan for that, trying to figure out if there was a tactful way to tell—to _ask_ Mikey not to go over there, or at least not alone, that was something to worry about. This, in comparison, wasn't. Besides, I trusted Hitoshi-san, for all that I'd only known him a handful of weeks, and I doubted his daughter could be much different. "It's not a problem. Besides, according to my brothers, it's obvious to anyone on the streets that I'm new to the city." Naomi tilted her head slightly, her brow knitting, and I cleared my throat awkwardly. "I'm…not fond of crowds."

Her lips twitched before she mastered herself. "Ah. So how many brothers do you have?"

"Three."

Naomi made a small noise of surprise. "You must have kept your parents busy."

"Parent," I corrected. "It's just us and our father. He was never married."

The shock on her face was nearly comical. "And your father raised you all by himself?"

"He did."

"Well, _I'm_ impressed. I've always wondered what it'd be like to have siblings."

I thought of Mikey and how he'd maneuvered me this morning. "You can borrow one of mine, if you want," I offered. "Just don't be surprised if it makes you glad you're an only child."

Naomi laughed, shaking her head. "I appreciate the offer, but taking care of my father is a full-time job as it is."

I thought of how much Hitoshi-san reminded me of Mikey at times, and found I could believe that. "Well, at least we stay busy, right?"

"We do that," she agreed as we joined Hitoshi-san and Yuki-san at the table.

"You do what?" Hitoshi-san asked curiously as he passed us cups of steaming tea, smiling widely at us.

"Leo agrees with me that you're an incorrigible old man who's more trouble than you're worth," Naomi replied crisply.

I choked slightly on my tea, trying to catch my breath long enough to explain that I had said no such thing, but Hitoshi-san just roared with laughter. "Do you see the kind of child I have raised, Leonardo-san? No respect for her elders, and she puts up with nothing," he complained, but it was impossible to miss the note of pride in his voice.

"I can believe that," I replied carefully.

Naomi raised an eyebrow at me, but a smile tugged at her lips. She rolled her eyes as Hitoshi-san began sharing a story about her as a child, and I wondered how I'd gotten so lucky as to be paid to spend my days with such interesting people.

* * *

**Naomi Kimura**

"One last breath...good. That's it for today." I waited for the members of my afternoon class to focus on me again, pressing my palms together in front of me and smiling as they took their cue from me. "Thank you all for coming, and until your journey brings you back to me, remember to breathe. _Namaste_."

My students returned the small bow and began packing up their things, and I sighed with satisfaction before stretching one last time. Despite how busy my morning had been, yoga always helped me take the time to be still and let everything drain away. I loved my father's dojo for that; not only was it home, but it was also an island of peace in the middle of the city, no matter what.

"Hey, Mimi."

I looked up to see Rae walk onto the mats, her nose ring drawing some scandalized glances from the older women. Being Rae, of course, she just smiled and scratched the bridge of her nose pointedly. I shook my head at both her and the nickname and finished rolling up my mat, walking behind the counter to put it away. "Hi, Rae."

Rae hopped up onto the counter. "How was class?"

"Good. We had got a couple new people today. I was surprised you weren't here, actually." I both was and wasn't, honestly; Rae had a habit of jumping from one interest to another, but she usually stuck with the new ones longer. I'd managed to convince her to come to a few yoga classes, and she'd taken to it right away.

She smiled slowly. "Oh, I was planning to come; I was just catching up on my sleep after setting something up. Speaking of which, are you busy this Friday night?"

I glanced back suspiciously; years of knowing Rae had led me to develop a healthy distrust whenever she sounded like that. "No…" I admitted slowly, somehow already regretting telling the truth. "Why?"

"Great." She leaned forward to bump her forehead against mine, grinning at me cross-eyed. "'Cause you've got a date."

"Rae…" I closed my eyes and groaned, shaking her head along with my own. "I thought we agreed that you'd stop setting me up on blind dates."

She leaned back with a sigh. "No, we agreed that I was doing badly at setting you up with good blind dates. I decided to reevaluate my criteria for you."

"Please tell me you took 'egotistical asshole' off the list," I drawled, edging around her to put out some new schedules. Rae had a bad habit of trying to set me up with guys _she'd_ like, but given how different we were, her tastes obviously weren't mine. She liked assertive guys, and while I wanted someone with a backbone, I also wanted someone who recognized—and appreciated—that I had a spine of my own.

"Of course I did, along with 'puppy-kicker' and 'wife-beater,'" Rae retorted, spinning around on the counter to keep me in sight. "C'mon, Mimi, I found a really good guy this time, I mean it. He _blushed_ when I hit on him, seriously."

I blinked. "I didn't know you knew any guys who blushed."

"Me neither; hell, I didn't even know guys blushed anymore period, unless they're gingers. But that's not the point. He seems like a great guy, Mimi," she said earnestly. "He's interesting, really…not normal, I guess you'd say, but not in a bad way. Big on literature, good-looking…" Her smile grew wicked. "Nice ass…kinda shy, though."

"Rae…" Despite myself, I couldn't help feeling sorry for whoever this guy was; Rae was admittedly a lot to handle. "If a guy doesn't try to cop a feel, you think he's shy."

"I mean _your_ kind of shy, like a gentleman. A carry-her-over-puddles kind of gentleman."

I stilled, looking over at Rae. "So why didn't you snatch him up?" I asked softly. Rae was the closest thing I had to a sister, and as much as she watched out for me, I wanted the best for her too; she needed—and deserved—a nice guy to treat her well, and not just because he was looking for sex like so many of the guys she found.

She smiled sadly. "I ruin nice guys, Mimi. I just…don't know what to do with guys like that. Plus I think I scared him, so he's perfect for you!" she finished brightly.

I sighed, knowing well enough to drop the subject. "Alright, I'll give him a shot. When's the date?"

"This Friday night at 8; you're meeting him at Starbuck's for drinks."

At least it wasn't a bar. "Fine. What's he like? How am I supposed to recognize him?"

"He's smart, well-spoken; said he's lived in New York all his life, out in the 'burbs or something. Couple brothers. Kinda quiet 'til you get him going. Even practices martial arts. And he's _built_, Mimi, holy shit. Arms like David," she said, fanning herself with her hand. "Oh, and I told him to sit in the back and wear something blue."

"Blue?" It seemed completely random, not to mention Rae's favorite color was green.

"Mm, I think it'll be a good color on him, bring out his eyes."

I hesitated for a minute. The past few dates had been…borderline disastrous, to put it lightly, and the last one had been the worst of all. To be honest, I didn't want to try another blind date, but I knew Rae would think I didn't trust her if I turned this down. And it was only coffee, with a guy who seemed to have honestly impressed Rae, who, true to her nature, had far more demanding standards for guys when it came to me. "Alright, we'll see how it goes. Am I supposed to wear something in particular? Or did you tell him how to recognize me?"

She grinned. "Oh, I'll help you pick something out, don't worry. And no, I didn't tell him a thing. He's the kind of guy who doesn't seem like he likes being unprepared; big on control, from what I can tell."

"That seems a little mean."

Rae blew a raspberry at me. "How is it mean? Now, if you'd set him up with me without warning him, _that_ would be mean. But you're gonna be a nice surprise, Mimi. Just make sure you give him some time; he seems like it takes him a while to really let his guard down around people."

"I'll try," I promised. "I'm _not_ wearing your heels this time, though; those things just about crippled me last time."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, fine. Anyways, 8 at Starbucks this coming Friday; don't be late."

"I won't."

"You better not. And I want details this time," she ordered. "So how are things going? How's _ji-jii_?"

I couldn't help smiling at her nickname for Dad; the two of them were absolute menaces when they got together, but Rae loved him to death, and the feeling was totally mutual. Even if the two gossiped and talked about me like housewives, I couldn't help being glad to see the two people I loved most together. "He's doing well. The kids of a friend of his from Japan are in town, so he was glad to see them."

"Do you know 'em?"

"Just the daughter, and not very well," I admitted, arching until I could pop my back. "I haven't seen her since…oh geez, since I was about twelve or so, when we went to Japan for the summer. She looks good, though. Apparently she's seeing the sights while her brother brokers a business deal for their dad. And get this: her babysitter, or companion or whatever? Is Dad's tea friend, the one he keeps talking about that he met last month; apparently he set him up with the job since he was new in town. He brought Yuki—Dad's friend's daughter—in to visit this morning."

Rae whistled, lolling on the counter. "Small world. So what's he like? And what's his name?"

"He's nice, I suppose. Almost painfully polite, actually; I'm willing to bet Dad's trying to loosen him up. Really good-looking, too," I admitted. "His name's Leo, though I didn't catch a last name."

Rae blinked and sat up. "Leo?" She grinned slowly. "Like Leonardo di Caprio?"

I rolled my eyes. "Leo like Leonardo, yeah. He's not blonde, though. And I swear, if you start singing "My Heart Will Go On," I'm throwing you out."

She started laughing hard, rocking slightly for a minute before she held up a hand. "I won't, I promise," she gasped between giggles. "Scout's honor."

"The Girl Scouts would never take you," I retorted, narrowing my eyes at her suspiciously. Unless there was some joke I wasn't in on, there was no reason for her to be laughing like this. It made me nervous. "Why is his name so funny? It's not that common, but seriously…"

Rae bit her lip, shaking her head. "Nothing, sorry. Just something I thought of. Personal joke." A few more giggles bubbled out. "I'm sure he's a really nice guy."

"He is," I said defensively. Even if I hardly knew Leo at all, he didn't deserve to be made fun of. "If you start quoting _Titanic_ lines at him, Rae…"

She swallowed and hopped off the counter, pulling me into a hug. "Mimi, I promise I'll be nice. Super nice. Besides, you said _ji-jii_ really likes him, right?"

"Yeah. Apparently he's over here at least once a week for tea. Dad's mentioned him a few times, but you know what my schedule's like; this was the first time the timing worked out." I sighed. "Of course, that's an issue in and of itself, because you know his tendency to try and set me up with guys that he likes." I had lost track of the times my father had "ended up" talking to a student of his after class until I'd arrived, then claimed he'd remembered something and disappeared. My father was not one for great subtlety sometimes.

"Well, if you like him, and _ji-jii_ likes him, that's just one more reason for me to like him," Rae said breezily, grinning as she kissed me on the cheek. "Anyway, don't forget, 8 pm this Friday!"

Dad chose that moment to stick his head around the corner. "Is that Rae-chan I hear?" He smiled at her. "Here to visit an old man?"

I shook my head, turning to face him and block Rae's path. "Oh no, you get back in your office, tou-chan; I don't need both of you acting like this all afternoon."

Rae blew a raspberry and danced around me to go see Dad. "Spoilsport."

"What's she talking about?" Dad asked, opening his arms to Rae for a hug and kissing her cheek. "I believe these old ears heard something about someone having plans?"

I groaned. Dad and Rae were merciless about my dating life when they got together, and I decided to just call it quits.

Rae grinned at me, her eyes dancing. "Oh _ji-jii_, Mimi's got a date this Friday, courtesy of yours truly," she sang, tugging him back towards his office. "And wait until you hear this…"

I narrowed my eyes as they ducked into the other room, contemplating eavesdropping on them so I'd have some warning, then gave up and grabbed my bag to head to the gym. When they got like this, the best thing to do was just give them some space and _not_ give them any more ammunition. Still, I could hear Dad crowing in his office as I left the dojo, and I felt my stomach sink.

Something was up; I didn't have the slightest clue what, but it couldn't be good.

* * *

**A/N:** And there ya go! I'm really anxious to see what everyone thinks of everything that's going on in this chapter. ^_^ As always, reviews, concrit, and pointing out any errors you find are all greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!

(And just a side note, the little goodbye that Naomi says at the beginning of her POV isn't mine; I can't take any credit for it. I took yoga for a few years at college, and my yoga instructor, the nicest, most flexible lady you'll EVER meet, always ended the lessons like that. I liked it, so I'm borrowing it. Credit where credit is due, and all that.)


	13. Chapter 13

_**Disclaimer**__: See previous chapters._

_Not much to say about this one, since it kind of says enough for itself. This is probably the tipping point for the story, because things are gonna start picking up a lot after this. And hopefully the update speed will too, because holy crap, guys, how can I seriously have been working on this for two years? I'm kinda embarrassed that I haven't gotten farther than I have, but hopefully I'll be able to pick it up a bit. I have a lot more of the second half of the story written than I did of the first half when I started posting, so there's less to write and more just to polish. Hopefully. . Honestly, I'm gonna do my best to work to get a chapter out each month, rather than every two months, but we'll see how it goes. Regardless, this will be finished, and it'll never, ever be abandoned, no matter how long it takes me to finish it. ^_^;;_

_Anywho, thanks so, so much to all the lovely people who reviewed the last chapter: __**Amalia Janeway, The Wolf's Shadow, J-Kid, RabidWrackspurt, NinjaMisha, Dipsey, LoganX, Sabrinasidd, Kallasilya, evilpinkpen, sleepyfan, Mourning Star under the Moon, **__and __**animeflunky.**__ You guys make me smile, and make the countless edits totally worth it. ^_^_

_(Also, there will be both some mild violence and more swearing in this chapter; apologies once again for the language. ^_^;; I consider this to still be perfectly acceptable for a T rating, but if anyone thinks it needs to be bumped up, just let me know.)_

* * *

**Leonardo**

Despite my attempts to think about anything else, my upcoming date continually crept into the back of my mind. Still, I managed to keep it at bay while I was escorting Yuki-san or visiting Hitoshi-san, so I was able to make it to Wednesday without feeling too nervous. I was trying to stay busy, though, so Yuki-san and I had ventured farther than usual on a visit to Ellis Island, and I was fairly sure she was somewhat tired by the time we returned to the hotel. Still, she smiled and said goodbye as she normally did, and I waited for her to board the elevator before turning for the doors.

"Leonardo-san!"

I turned to see Seiichi-san approaching, just stepping out of the other elevator. "Seiichi-san, good afternoon."

"Would you walk with me?" he asked, gesturing down the lobby hallway, which I was pretty sure led to yet another sitting area.

"Of course, but—is everything alright?" I'd only just seen Yuki-san, and I didn't think there was any way something could have happened.

He smiled easily. "Everything is fine. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your work and the lengths you are going to in your duties. My sister speaks well of you, and she seems to be truly enjoying herself, which is all I could ask for. Even though I've been rather busy of late, I wanted a chance to thank you myself."

I blinked, surprised. Yuki-san never complained about any of the places we visited, nor the traffic or crowded conditions of the subway, but she was still fairly reserved about the things she enjoyed too. It was good to know she'd been having a good time. "Oh. Well, I'm glad to hear it. Yuki-san is excellent company, and I'm seeing parts of the city I think I might have otherwise overlooked, so it's sometimes an adventure for both of us," I said honestly. "How are things going with your talks?"

Seiichi-san shrugged, tucking his hands into his pockets as we walked down the hallway. "Progress is mixed, to be honest. Given the state of the business we're pursuing, I would have expected the owner to be more receptive to my offer, which I think is rather generous given their current issues. However, they still seem resistant to the idea of selling, even though it's in their best interest. I almost believe that they expect things to turn around, but given what I've seen of the profits for the past few quarters…" He shook his head and laughed. "I am sorry, I must be boring you; you are far too good of a listener."

"No, it's fine. Do you mind if I ask which company you're pursuing, or is it private?"

He shook his head. "It's hardly private; the information will be out in the news once we make the final purchase anyway. The company is Oroku Corp."

I stumbled, feeling my heart stop momentarily. It couldn't be. "Oroku Corp?"

Seiichi-san glanced at me and smiled ruefully. "I know that there have been quite a few rumors flying around about the company's history," he admitted, and I struggled to collect myself, glad that he had misinterpreted the reason for my shock. "And supposedly some are even based on a seed of truth, but I find that I can't put much stock in them, especially given how wild some of the rumors are. As odd as Oroku-san's father might have been, the same behavior hasn't been seen in her. And besides, if I can acquire the business while most of its contacts are still intact, it will be a fine deal; I am confident that the company can turn around once under proper supervision. Not to mention, it offers a strong chance to gain a foothold in New York's economic division; yours is a hard business world to break into, Leonardo-san."

"Yes," I said faintly. "I hope it goes well for you. Do you expect the talks to be finished soon?"

"Well, as I said, Oroku-san is not as cooperative as I would hope, so it is hard to make a prediction," Seiichi-san said with a shrug. "We have another meeting this coming Tuesday, which is the next day you'll be working, so we'll see how things go then. Thus far, our progress has been limited to my laying a tentative offer on the table, and Oroku-san establishing the fact that she is willing but reluctant to sell. We are going to be spending the next few meetings discussing exactly what it would take for Oroku-san to be satisfied, and I hope she will be willing to be more reasonable by the next time we meet."

I managed to keep from snorting. If time was all it took for Karai to become more reasonable, the history between us would have been a lot less bloody. "Hopefully. What are your hopes for a timeline?"

Seiichi-san sighed slightly. "Of course I would want things wrapped up as soon as possible; when we arrived, I had expected the proceedings to take little more than three weeks. Given the state of things, though, it seems now that at least another month is more likely. I have no pressing matters awaiting me back in Japan, however, so it doesn't cause too many problems. I just have to keep being firm, and seal the deal as soon as possible." He smiled at me. "You would be invited to the celebration, were we to have one...and given how stubborn Oroku-san is proving, I might indeed be in the mood for such a thing by then."

I forced a laugh. "I bet. I appreciate the invitation."

He laughed as well. "Indeed! Well, I know you are likely just as busy as I am, so I will stop wasting your time. Have a good weekend, Leonardo-san."

"You as well," I forced past numb lips. "I'll see you on Tuesday."

We parted and I headed back to the apartment, my mind racing. Given how distracted I was, I'm surprised I didn't get hit by a car. Seiichi-san was attempting to buy Karai's business. How could it have ended up that the job I had been so surprised and glad to find would end up putting me so close to Karai? I had never really placed that much stock in destiny or fate, but there was a point at which coincidence stopped being a reasonable explanation for things.

Was this inevitable, or just more of our usual "Turtle luck"?

Why is it that the more things change, the more they stay the same?

* * *

**Michelangelo**

I had crashed on the couch to watch some TV as soon as I got home, just trying to tune out a little bit and get the soundtrack from the last game I'd tested out of my head; I was gonna make sure to mention tomorrow that it was _insanely annoying_. Still, even zoning out, I heard the door open and close, and craned my head over the back of the couch. "Hey, Leo, how was—" I blinked and sat up straighter to look at Leo directly. He was pale, and his face was really closed-off. "Leo? What's wrong?"

Leo blinked at me a few times, like he didn't even know how he'd gotten home, then shook himself and tried to smile. "Hey, Mikey. I'm fine; it was just a long day—"

I snorted. "Bull. You look awful, bro." I jumped over the back of the couch and grabbed Leo, dragging him over to sit down and giving him my most serious look. I didn't know how to guilt information out of people with just a look the way Leo could, but as strung out as he looked just then, I figured it was worth a shot. "Now spill. What happened?"

"I…yeah," Leo just kind of deflated suddenly. "You probably deserve to know. I found out today who Seiichi-san is doing business with."

Right. I waited a couple seconds, but it seemed like that was it. And maybe it was just me, but I didn't see how that was a huge issue. "Okay, I guess I'm missing something, 'cause that doesn't sound that—"

"It's Karai."

"—bad. Um…holy shit," I finished weakly. "I mean—" I blinked, considering, trying to fight the way my stomach felt like it was curdling like old milk. "No, I really do mean holy shit. Are you serious?"

"Yeah."

"Geez." I sat back, kinda freaked. I mean seriously, what were the chances? I knew Donnie could run some sort of calculating thing on his computer and get the exact percentage or whatever, but all I could come up with was somewhere between "really freaking unlikely" and "practically impossible." "Man, talk about weird."

"My thoughts exactly," Leo muttered. He groaned, leaning over and putting his face in his hands. "I'll have to quit," he mumbled. "I'll make my apologies to Seiichi-san and Yuki-san, and Hitoshi-san, and find a new job. I need to figure out what to tell them…"

"Whoa, whoa, what? Back up, why would you quit?"

Leo looked up at me like he thought I was crazy. "Are you kidding? Mikey, this is _dangerous_—"

I held up my hands. "Okay, wait. Just hear me out. Were you and Karai introduced?"

Leo opened his mouth, then closed it. "Well, no."

"Okay, what exactly happened, bro?"

He laced his hands together behind his neck. "I spoke to Seiichi-san for a while today, and he mentioned that his business deal was going rather slowly because the owner was reluctant to sell. I asked who it was, and he said it was Karai. That was about it."

"So you weren't introduced?" I pressed.

"No."

"Did you even see her?"

Leo shook his head.

I heaved a sigh, relieved. Well, there was that, at least. "Then we're fine. What's the problem?"

The "my brother is nuts" face was back. "Mikey, I'm too close. _She's_ too close. It'd be too easy for us to meet and—"

"And _what_?" I interrupted. "She won't recognize you, dude. I'd bet she wouldn't even believe that it would be possible for us to become human. Look, not even Master Splinter knew the whole story behind the Utroms' ooze and experiments, right? And he lived with Master Yoshi, who was a Guardian and knew about them. And according to the story we heard from 'em, Shredder was a little too busy killing people and terrorizing civilians to really keep up with the scientific stuff the Utroms were working on. That means that no matter what else he told Karai about the Utroms, he couldn't have told her anything about this, 'cause he didn't even know about it."

I reached out and poked Leo in the side when he tried to interrupt. "And then there's the fact that she couldn't even recognize you if she saw you. Not that you'd really have any reason to talk to her. I mean, what is Seiichi gonna do, introduce you? Karai isn't gonna give a crap who is keeping Seiichi's sister company. Think about it: the whole reason that you've got the job is 'cause Yuki isn't gonna be involved in the deal and doesn't need to be there, right? So there's no reason for the two of you to meet. It's already been almost a month since you started, and nothing's happened. And even if you do run into Karai, just act like you don't know her, or ignore her."

"I can't ignore her if we're introduced, Mikey. And she might recognize my voice," Leo pointed out.

He had a point; Karai wasn't likely to forget what Leo sounded like after all these years of them talking and yelling at each other. "If you can't ignore her, talk a little differently, more casually, or lower your voice or whatever. Basically, as long as you don't overreact or freak out and get weird around her, it'll be fine. You only have what, a month or so before the talks will probably be over? Just keep doing what you're doing."

Leo nodded jerkily. "Yeah. That—maybe that will—" He shook his head, scrubbing a hand through his hair. "It's only short-term, Mikey. Everything I think of, all the things I think we could try, it's all only short-term. I can't do anything about the long-term; I can't make sure things don't fall apart. Avoiding Karai, the ambushes in the sewers, they'll both only work for so long. Even if both tactics work, what then? If this deal goes through, Karai won't have anything to split her attention any more; she won't have to worry about her business, she can focus on us completely. That's why we were dangerous to her as turtles; we were completely off the map, and we didn't have to worry about reputations or appearances."

"Yeah, just about being killed, right?" I asked disbelievingly, not even trying to keep the sarcasm out of my voice.

Leo's eyes were bleak when he glanced at me, and I almost felt bad, seeing him so stressed. "We knew how to strike, Mikey, and when; you know I never led us _anywhere_ if I didn't think I could lead us all back home again alive."

"I didn't mean because of you, bro, I meant because we're always insanely outnumbered; we've had enough close calls to know it was possible. And we had plenty of stuff to worry about other than just staying alive."

"I know. But we could always retreat. It's the advantage of being the attacking party; you may lose the advantage of being on familiar territory, but you gain the advantage of only having to protect people, not a place. If you're attacked in your home, you're already trapped, while your attackers can leave if the battle goes badly. You saw what happened in April's shop, and when Karai attacked the Lair; if you can be found, you're already in danger."

"Yeah, and we've been living with that for years. Same problem we're having now."

Leo shook his head. "It's easier for our enemies now. When Karai attacked the Lair—it must have taken her months to find our home. And she had the advantage, just like we did when we attacked Foot HQ or the Foot when they were out in the city. We could strike and disappear, and we had somewhere safe to disappear to that no one could find. All we had to worry about was winning the fight and getting out unseen. But now—" He waved a hand at the apartment. "We're sitting ducks, Mikey. We're in every computer. Anyone with access to a library could find us. If Karai loses her business and can focus all her attention on us, it won't matter if she doesn't have those resources; all she'll need is time. Time will make her realize she won't find us in the sewers, no matter how long or deeply she looks. And if she was obsessed with getting revenge for Saki's exile, she'll never stop if we cause her to lose her father _and_ her business."

"Except that it's completely not our fault," I pointed out. "Saki had it coming to him, and if she sucks at running a company…" I shrugged. "It's not like we've been messing with her stocks or something."

"Do you think she'll care, Mikey? Over the past few years, she hasn't exactly been a shining example of reasonable behavior. If she can blame us, she will. If looking for us doesn't turn anything up, she'll look to April and Casey. And either she'll attack them, in which case we'll be there for the battle, or she'll see one of us leave their apartment, and follow us back home. And if she gets an address, all she'll need is a computer, which will give her a name, and that's all she'll need to find us. It'll happen somehow." He gripped the side of his neck and stared up at the ceiling. "It's just a question of how much time we have."

Somehow Leo's resignation pissed me off and worried me more than his pessimistic paranoia. "Why do you automatically assume this is gonna end badly? Why are you so sure that we can't avoid this?"

He glanced at me, almost looking confused. "Because we can't, Mikey" he said bleakly. "After what happened when she attacked you guys in the Lair…she won't make that mistake again. Assuming our enemy to be dead has been a costly mistake for all of us, on both sides. We assumed Saki was dead, and being wrong nearly got us all killed. Saki assumed we were dead, and was caught off-guard. Karai assumed she'd killed the three of you and Master Splinter, and not being certain left her open for attack. She's stubborn and single-minded, but not stupid; she won't be satisfied with anything less but corpses this time, Mikey."

"Even if she does come looking, we'll be ready for her," I said stubbornly.

"For how long? How long can we regiment who we talk to, when we visit April and Casey, how often we go out? How long can we stay paranoid and hyper-vigilant?"

That was just _it_; if he was willing to give Karai so much credit, why was he counting us out automatically? "Well, seeing as how you started at fifteen and managed about six years, the rest of us should at least be able to manage a few months," I snapped. "Even though you obviously think we suck, we ought to be able to handle at least that much. None of us have ever gotten caught or led the Foot back to our home before, and we won't now."

The apartment itself seemed to be holding its breath, and I recognized that awful, waiting silence; it was the same one Don and I had been caught on the edge of all the time when Raph and Leo were fighting and one of them had just said something that drew blood. I felt sick to my stomach. I'd never, ever meant to throw the Foot ambush back at Leo, and that wasn't even what I'd been talking about now, but replaying what I'd just said, I knew Leo would take it that way. The hurt was obvious in his eyes, and I'd've sold all my video games and my 'chucks and destroyed my Battle Nexus trophy myself for the chance to take that back.

"No, none of you have ever been caught," Leo said quietly. "But everyone seems to be in agreement as to how popular my paranoia was, and how well I turned out as a result."

I wish he'd just yelled back at me. "Leo—look, I didn't mean—"

"I'm gonna head out for a while," Leo interrupted softly, not meeting my eyes as he stuck his keys and phone back in his pocket.

"Leo—would you just stop for a second?"

"I can't, Mikey," he said, and I could tell he wasn't just talking about leaving now. "I just—I need to go out for a bit. I'll be back later, and I have my phone."

"Bro, seriously—"

"Is there anything you want me to get?"

I wanted him to get his head on straight. I wanted him to _look_ at me and at least let me apologize. And I wanted him to get a plan together, because part of the reason I was so mad at him was because the more I thought about it, the more I suspected he was right. But I also wanted him not to break, and since it felt like I'd already cracked him down the center, I guess that I meant I wanted him to go out for a bit too. "Grab some popsicles, would ya?" I managed.

"Regular popsicles or the ones in the plastic tubes?"

It would have been better if he'd just nodded and left, but Leo was Leo, and even hurt and stressed, he still wanted to get everything right, even a fake request. "The tube ones, dude; everyone knows they're the best ones."

"Right."

The door closed gently behind him, and I wished he'd just slammed it.

I wished a lot of things, actually. I wished he was still there. I wished I could've taken back what I'd said, said something else instead, made him understand that there were other options than just waiting for the ax to fall. Just because I couldn't think of any didn't mean anything; I might be able to figure something out, or Leo would, if he'd just stop freaking out long enough.

We'd always counted on Leo being right, about how a fight or mission would go, when to retreat, how an enemy would move. I knew that no one spent as much time thinking about our enemies—and probably Karai and the Shredder (both versions) in particular—and no one could get in their heads better.

But I wanted Leo to be wrong. It couldn't go the way he was thinking, he was just—slipping a little, thinking like he did after the way things went down on Shredder's spaceship. There was another way around it.

I just had to convince Leo to find it after I explained that I hadn't been blaming him for being ambushed.

I slid down the couch until I was sitting on the floor, my head propped against the cushions, and wondered if this was what Leo felt all those years when Raph walked out, refusing to even talk to him after he said just one comment too many. Even though both of them lashed out a lot, neither of them thought that maybe the things they said were said just in order to win the fight, not because they really meant them. I'd just wanted Leo to stop thinking we were incapable of staying on guard; it was supposed to come out like "we can keep up with you," not "hey, you're the one who blew it, not us."

No wonder Leo sometimes looked like he wished Raph had just hit him; anything was better than hurting someone and having them believe you and just walk away instead of hurting you back.

* * *

**Leonardo**

Every time Raph had stormed out of the Lair during or after a fight, I'd always been so frustrated with him; I thought he was acting like a child, running away instead of just staying and discussing things like an adult. I'd realized eventually that he was leaving before he started throwing punches, and that leaving was actually his way of controlling himself as well as he could.

I hadn't really understood just how much control that showed until now.

When I was trying to think of some kind of plan, and Mikey had just kept arguing that everything would be fine—I could hardly breathe through my frustration for a minute. As it was, I'd almost wanted to shake Mikey for believing things would be okay, for wanting a plan, when I had no clue. I'd never been so mad at him before. Mikey had always understood me, and to have him not get it—was almost as bad as him pointing out that he and Raph and Don had never screwed up the way I had.

He was right. He was, even if I could tell by the way the blood drained out of his face that he hadn't meant it the way it sounded. Mikey didn't ever try to hurt people like that. But hearing it, knowing that for all my plans and effort he was right, _I_ was the one who'd screwed up the last time we were in a stalemate like this—how could I come up with a plan? I'd already seen, personally, that even being visible when the Foot were searching for us was dangerous. How could he really fault me for just wanting to lie low and prepare as much as possible?

I didn't _want_ the future I saw. I didn't want to be right, but I couldn't just ignore the most obvious outcome. It wasn't that I doubted my brothers, it was just that I—I couldn't think of anything else that wouldn't cost them what they wanted.

Yes, there was another option. If I was alone, I'd just disappear, vanish from the short life I'd started now and—deal with things. After that, I could live somewhere else, travel to Japan, possibly reinvent another life in another state, though I couldn't really think of living anywhere but New York. Or maybe I'd stay invisible. Or depending on how things panned out…maybe the decision would be made for me and I wouldn't have a future to worry about.

But I wasn't alone. And I couldn't abandon this life, not when it meant leaving my brothers and disobeying Master Splinter. And that was why I could hardly think straight; it was twenty-one years of the instinct to be invisible being countered by twenty-one years of obedience towards Master Splinter, and it burned under my skin like a fever. It was being a ninja versus being a human, and Sensei had ordered me to be both, but I couldn't be both at once.

I was going to scream if I didn't do something. The last time I'd felt like this, like my skin was crawling, like I had to act _now_ before something happened to my family, all the while knowing there was no safe plan for victory—I'd attacked my own father, for what I saw as him standing in my way of fixing things. But I needed someone to just _understand_—

Raph. He'd promised me that he wouldn't let me lose it like I did last time, and if anything, I felt like I was closer to the edge of a mistake than I'd ever been back then. I grabbed my cell and hit the speed dial for Raph, shouldering past people as I desperately headed for the park. I needed _air_.

Even as hard as I was listening for Raph's voice, I hardly caught it amid the noise of the streets. _"Yeah?"_

"Raph."

"_Leo? What's up?"_

"Are you free?"

I could tell Raph heard the tension in my voice, because the background noise from the TV on his end cut off suddenly. _"Leo, are you okay?"_

"I'm fine." Liar. "I just wanted to know if you wanted to go for a run or spar or something. Anything. Just if you're not busy. If you are—"

"_Shut up, Leo. I'm not doin' anythin' that can't wait. You wanna head over to the park? Fewer bystanders there."_

I couldn't help snorting. Raph could obviously tell the kind of sparring I was talking about, the kind where we don't hold anything back, when people were likely to think we were trying to kill each other if they saw us. "Yeah, sounds good."

"_Cool. Gimme ten minutes and I'll be over. I'll meet you by the south entrance."_

"Alright." I hesitated; it varied all the time, whether Raph would accept gratitude or brush it off, but I figured I owed it to him to try anyway. "Thanks."

"_Shut up, Leo. I'll see you in ten."_

"Bye."

I was at the park in about five minutes, and waiting was almost impossible. I paced further into the grounds, out of eyesight, into the area where "normal" people don't usually go alone, staying just visible from the entrance.

Maybe calling Raph was a mistake; he'd want to know what the plan was too, even more than Mikey. Raph had never been good at waiting for trouble or danger to find us; he always wanted to take it head-on, to hell with preparation. Maybe I should have waited. But I had to talk to someone, someone who understood how bad things could get. Raph was about as realistic as it was possible to be. Maybe I could just—wait to tell him, later or tomorrow, once I could breathe and think.

"Would you knock it off with the pacin'? You're makin' me frickin' dizzy."

I whirled around to see Raph watching me from a few paces away, just the barest hint of concern at the back of his eyes. When had he gotten here? How could I tell Mikey that we just had to stay on guard when I apparently couldn't even manage to hear my own brother? "Raph."

"Yeah, obviously."

I waited just long enough for Raph to arch an inquisitive eyebrow at me, then lunged at him.

* * *

**Raphael**

I both was an' wasn't surprised when Leo took a swing at me with little more than a "hey-how-are-ya" once I got to the park; the guy was radiatin' an antsy tenseness that I could feel tightenin' my own muscles as soon as I saw him. I had no freakin' clue what had gotten him wound so tightly, but it was obviously eatin' at him if it was bad enough for _Leo_ to need to fight it out of his system.

I wanted to ask him what was goin' on, but it was a couple minutes before the frantic look in his eyes dimmed enough for me to think it was a good idea, so I just threw myself into the motions. Fast blocks, faster strikes, forcin' Leo to the kind of speed that I knew made it impossible to think, so all you could do was react. It was hard to think past instinct in the middle of a fight, and that was the best kind of quiet I could give Leo at the moment.

"So what happened?" I asked finally, gruntin' as I blocked a roundhouse kick.

"Nothing," Leo bit out, his voice tight. "Too much. Just…" Leo sent a punch towards me that nearly clipped me on the jaw, his eyes hard. "I'm trying, Raph. Even if it doesn't seem like it, I'm really trying. I've gone out to a bar, to a museum full of people, even to a garden club."

Garden club? What the hell?

Leo kept going. "I'm trying everything Mikey suggests, because I promised Master Splinter I'd learn to live like—like a _normal_ person," he growled, snapping a kick towards me. "I'm _balancing_."

I stepped to the side an' caught his ankle, plannin' to throw 'im by his leg, only to have him chamber the kick viciously, yankin' me back towards him and a waiting fist. I dropped his ankle and swept his feet instead, expectin' him to jump to avoid it, then rollin' backwards quickly to avoid the ax kick he brought down as he landed. The fact that he was this serious told me just how much things were wearin' on him. "So what's the issue?" I asked, rolling back to my feet a few feet away.

"I'm not a normal person, Raph!" I winced at the volume, hopin' no one else had heard him yellin'. "I'm not. I'm _trying_, I swear I'm trying, but I have nothing to go on. The three of you, you know how to be normal, how to just—just _be_, how to just exist as people. I don't! I've always had to be something, the leader, the oldest brother, and I've never had the time to just watch people and figure out how to be like them. And now Master Splinter just tells me to go out and "be myself," to live as a human, to enjoy it. How am I supposed to do that when I don't know how? I'm trying what Mikey suggests, but I can't handle people all the time. Every day, I'm fighting my instincts; I'm letting you go like I was told. But I can't act like a human when I don't know what that means, and I can't be just a human when our old life won't let me go!"

That explained a lot more than it didn't. Leo had always relied on knowin' what he was expected to do. For all that we'd gotten used to him always havin' the answers, _Leo_ had always looked to Master Splinter to know what was expected of him. An' now he was lookin' for somethin' specific that he was supposed to be doin', and he didn't even realize that he wasn't supposed to be doin' anything other than just bein' himself—which was exactly the problem, 'cause what Leo knew best about himself was that he was a leader to us an' _chuunin_ to Sensei.

No wonder Leo didn't think he had anythin' left.

Mikey had said that Leo was goin' out with him more often, an' I'd thought that was a good sign…but apparently he was just goin' along with the first set of orders he could get, an' tryin' to figure out what to do by watchin' Mikey. But Mikey was different from Leo, in lotsa ways, so it was no wonder that seein' what worked for him wasn't helpin' Leo at all.

Leo dropped his hands, shakin' his head as he stared at me. "I don't know how I'm supposed to do this, Raph."

I rubbed the back of my neck as I straightened, tryin' to figure out what to say. I knew that tellin' him what to do wasn't gonna help, as much as I could tell that that was what he wanted from me. "Look, Leo, I know you've got good reason to be pissed right now, an' I understand why—"

"You think so?" Leo interrupted, his hands fistin' again. That was about the time I remember how much I hated havin' those words said to _me_; but hell, I didn't know what else to try. "You think you know everything about anger? Just because it consumed so much of your life doesn't make you an expert, Raph!"

Alright, he had a point, but of the two of us, I still had a better track record for gettin' over it in a healthy way; no one had ever had to ship me out of the country. "Okay, look—"

"I gave up everything for you!" Leo yelled. I don't think he even realized how loud he was, but I wasn't gonna say anythin'; Leo could say what he liked, but I knew about bein' pissed better than anyone, and I could recognize it when there was somethin' someone had to say.

He shook his head, knuckles goin' white. "I tried to be glad that Master Splinter thought I was up to the challenge, that he thought I could handle it, but he was _wrong_. I was just a kid, too, just your brother. I didn't _want_ to be your leader all the time! I tried not to resent you, any of you, but you made it really damn _hard_ sometimes, Raphael," he grit out. "Not just you, but all three of you. You were never willing to listen, Mikey never wanted to be serious even when it was his life on the line sometimes, and Don just wanted to ignore it and hope it would all go away. None of you seemed to believe me when I kept saying that maintaining our skills and vigilance wasn't just a matter of rising to our potential, it was a matter of _staying alive._"

I grit my teeth to keep from interruptin', knowin' Leo needed to finish, even though I just wanted to fire back at 'im. That wasn't what he needed, though, even if he was spoilin' for a fight.

"But no! I was just a blowhard, a stick in the mud, _Splinter Junior_," he spat, an' I swear I'd never heard him say that nickname with that much hate. "You always believed Sensei, always trusted the things he said and listened, but when I said the same things, I was just throwing my weight around. Why was it so different coming out of my mouth? Why weren't you guys willing to listen to me too? And why, if you all listened to him so well, couldn't he have just led you himself? I shouldn't have had to!"

Leo looked like he'd swallowed his tongue once the last words came out of his mouth, an' I was willin' to bet I looked the same.

The spiel about us bein' annoyin' little twits an' thinkin' Leo was just playin' the boss—that was old stuff, stuff I'd heard before and that was true, if I was gonna be honest. In our defense, though, it had been hard not to think Leo was takin' advantage of bein' named the leader when all we could see sometimes was our brother.

But the stuff about Sensei…I'd never heard him say anythin' against Master Splinter. No matter how hard Sensei worked him, no matter how many lectures he'd gotten when he hadn't been able to keep us in line, Leo had never talked back, never complained about the responsibility, an' rarely questioned a thing. The only time he ever had, in all our years—at least, that _I_ saw—was durin' their sparring match before Sensei shuffled him off to the Ancient One, an' that had only been about his anger, not Sensei's orders. But now…now Leo was actually sayin' the kind of stuff I never expected, even if I might've thought it at one point or another. "Leo, you…"

I had no clue what I was goin' to say, an' it didn't even matter, 'cause Leo took off, running away from me down the path an' further into the park.

I swore as I took off after him. Of all of us, Mikey was the fastest, hands-down; I wouldn't have even tried catchin' him, but Leo I could keep up with. Still, I knew from personal experience that havin' something you're trying to run from always gives you a little extra speed. And even if Leo had never beaten Mikey in a race, he regularly whipped us in endurance runs. Not that I had the patience for one right then; I was catchin' up to him one way or another.

I was pretty sure we had crossed most of Central Park before I finally started gainin' on 'im. Part of me was wonderin' why I was still chasin' him, since he obviously didn't want to be caught, but I knew I had to; Leo was right in what he'd said, an' he needed to hear that. I knew why Sensei had raised us the way he did, knew it was the best choice an' that that choice—an' Leo—had kept us alive an' mostly unscathed all these years…but I also knew that it had messed things up between us. None of us had really known how to deal with that kind of a power dynamic when we'd gotten older, because even though we'd sorta been raised with it, it got harder to accept over time, not easier. And I'd be the first to admit I caused most of the problems, but the fact remained that Leo bein' named the leader had put him between a rock and a hard place, Sensei and us. An' no matter what he thought, he wasn't in the wrong for gettin' pissed about it.

'Course, realizin' that didn't mean I'd be able to explain it t'Leo; me an' words didn't always work all that well together. I'd only ever been the angry one in a situation like this. I'd never been in the position to be the one chasin' one of my brothers, tryin' to catch him and calm 'im down, an' so I had no idea how to do it. I knew what my brothers had tried with me; they'd leave me alone, let me run or train it outta my system sometimes. Mikey would joke with me, Don would give me some space. An' Leo, if I'd let him, would be there for me to fight it out, to fight against him the way I couldn't always fight my problems. Sometimes certain things worked, sometimes they didn't.

But that was me. And while I knew my temper better than anyone, I didn't know how to help Leo with his. But hell, I'd lived most of my life just wingin' it, so why stop now?

Another few steps brought me on Leo's heels, and when he moved to duck around a tree, I lunged for his arm. "Leo, would you frickin' _stop_?" I snagged Leo's sleeve an' yanked him to a stop, tryin' to fight the urge to smack him. "What the hell is up with you?" I was almost as freaked as he was, 'cause in all our years, I'd never seen Leo run from anythin' or anyone. The guy never knew when to give up, which was one of the few things we shared.

He pulled back, moved to jerk his arm out of my grip, and I switched my hand to the back of his neck and shook him. "Leo. Ya called me for some reason. You had Mike there to talk to, or you could've called Don's cell; they're usually the go-to guys for talkin' about crap, which is obviously what you need right now, fightin' aside. But instead you called me, which means you either don't need to talk, or ya need to talk about somethin' you don't want them to hear. Now tell me why the hell I'm here, an' why you tried to run. Is it 'cause of what you said? 'Cause it ain't anythin' that surprised me, bro."

I could feel it when every muscle in the back of Leo's neck went stiff, an' when he just kinda deflated, leanin' forward to drop his forehead on my shoulder. "He was wrong," Leo whispered into my shirt.

I blinked, tryin' to get a handle on Leo and his damn mood swings and topic changes, but Leo bein' this open was even weirder than him runnin' from something. "Who was?"

"Master Splinter. Making me the leader, having us grow up the way we did…it wasn't—it was necessary, I know that, but—it wasn't fair. Not to me."

I waited for a second for the rest of it before I realized that was it. I sighed an' set my feet more comfortably. "You only just figured that out?"

Leo pulled back to stare at me miserably, an' I realized that includin' now, I could count on one hand the times Leo had openly disagreed with Sensei. If I grew up ignorin' authority, Leo grew up followin' it to a tee. I sighed an' towed Leo over to a bench, pushin' him slightly until he sat down an' I could join him. "Look, Leo, you're right, but this is only news to you. Mike, Don an' I…we know we had it good. Even if Master Splinter didn't consider you responsible for somethin', chances were you'd make it your responsibility anyways, 'cause that's what he expected. We didn't have to worry about much. But even if it was good for us, havin' someone lookin' out for us, that doesn't mean it was fair to any of us, you for havin' to be responsible for us all the time, or us for never havin' you as a brother first. Thinkin' that it wasn't fair…there's nothin' wrong with that, 'specially since you're right."

"I just…he was right to do it, but now that I look at how things were…" He leaned his head back against the bench. "From when we started our training to now…that's almost ten years that I never had this, the chance to talk to you without any ideas of authority between us. Ten years, Raph. And yeah, things have been better between us the past few years, but still...that's a long time to miss someone you live with."

I reached out hesitantly an' gripped his shoulder. "I know. Maybe we could've tried harder, but…" But we hadn't. Neither of us had really known how to or been willin' to; Leo was more used to relating to us through the whole leadership thing, an' I had been tired of playin' follow the leader by age twelve. "At least we got a chance now. An' hey, our life expectancy has gone up now that we're outta the damn sewers, so—we've got a chance to make up for it, bro."

Leo actually smiled at that. "Yeah."

"So that was it? That was what had you freakin' out?"

The tension lines were back around his eyes. "No. Well, yes, but that's not it. I got some—news today. Seiichi-san—Yuki-san's brother—is talking to Karai. That's whose business he's trying to buy."

No. Freakin' way.

I ran through every single frickin' swear word I knew, an' a few I made up on the spot, because _damn_. And Leo just sat there an' nodded like I was sayin' somethin' profound. "My thoughts exactly."

By the time I realized I was startin' to repeat myself, I started to think about what it really meant. Other than bein' a great example of just how unbelievably crappy our luck was, if it'd really been a threat, somethin' woulda happened by now. "So what's the plan?" I asked.

Leo stiffened like I'd touched him with a live wire. "The plan is nonexistent," he said tightly. "I don't know how to plan for this, Raph. I don't know how to set us up to fight an enemy who we can't even face directly. We _shouldn't_ fight, not now. Initiating this isn't going to help. And Mikey says I shouldn't just throw this job away on the off-chance that I might run into Karai, but that's _suicide_, because if I can manage to find the one job in New York that will bring me close to her, then it's just a matter of time before we somehow run into each other. But he wants to just wait, and I can't—"

"Whoa, chill out, bro. If you don't have a plan, that's fine; we've got time to make one." It was weird, 'cause Leo always had a plan, but obviously he was about to blow a blood vessel thinkin' about this. I chewed on my lip, my brain catchin' on what Leo said about Mikey. "Ya know…Mikey's got a point. It ain't like there's any reason for you an' Karai to meet. An' hell, this way you've got inside information on what's goin' on with her without actually havin' to do any work yourself." I glanced at him. "You're not going to cop out on your job just 'cause it might throw the shit at the fan, right?"

"I should," he said bleakly. "I have to, because I'm a liability otherwise. But I…don't want to. That's selfish, isn't it?"

I grinned. "Yeah, it is," I agreed, slappin' him on the leg. "It's a step in the right direction."

"Raph…"

"Look, Leo, one thing at a time, okay? Let's start with your job; if you stay there, yeah, you might run into Karai, but unless you talk, she's not gonna know a damn thing. Just ask what's-his-name—"

"Seiichi-san."

"—whatever. Just mention to 'im that you'd rather not meet her, make up some bull about bein' bad with celebrities or bein' worried about her targeting Yuki, or whatever. Problem solved. An' if you stay there, you'll know what's goin' on. You can know exactly when—_if_—everything's gonna go pear-shaped an' we'll have some warnin'. Or you can leave, an' it won't be a problem 'til Karai figures out we aren't in the sewers anymore. Then we'll just keep waitin' for the shoe to drop, and in the meantime, one or both of us will go insane waitin' for somethin' to happen, an' we'll still prob'ly be caught out if Karai finds us." I smacked him in the back of the head lightly. "Which means…"

"It's safer to stay where I am," Leo finished softly. "But—"

"No buts, moron. Lesser of two evils an' all that. Besides, you like it, right? All the more reason you need, then."

Leo just looked at me patiently, like he thought I was jokin'. "It doesn't work like that, Raph."

"It's allowed to, Leo."

"Raph…"

"I'm freakin' serious, Leo. Do I look like I'm jokin'?" I demanded, swatting him on the back of the head again. "You're allowed to let what you want influence how you make decisions, idiot; that's kinda how most people do it."

"Most people don't have to lead their brothers like soldiers or worry about being attacked by the second generation of a blood feud," he pointed out dryly.

"Point, but what I said still stands. That's what your problem is with all this stuff you're trying, goin' out with Mikey an' freakin' garden clubs—an' that better be a euphemism for a strip club or somethin', 'cause otherwise you are embarrassin' as hell to me right," I added. "But seriously, just—it's a simple concept, Leo. Do what you want to do, don't do what you don't wanna do. It's that simple."

Leo dragged a hand down his face like _I_ was the one bein' dumb as a brick. "That would work if I didn't have obligations."

"Don't pull that crap," I growled. "Any obligations you have to us, you have at least that many to yourself. Look, I get that half of this "go along" thing you're doin' is because you're scared an' you don't know what you want to do, but just doin' things 'cause you're told to ain't the way to go."

"Excuse me?" Leo pulled back from me, lookin' annoyed, which was a step up from overwhelmed, in my opinion. "I'm scared? Of what, exactly?"

"Not knowin' what to do. You've always had one set of orders or another, Leo, but you gotta start followin' your own. You just traded Master Splinter for Mikey, as far as I can see. You've still got someone tellin' you what to do, what to like—"

"No, I don't! I'm tryin' to _grow_, Raph, and expand my—"

"Oh, bullshit," I interrupted. "Don't try an' feed me any "I'm expandin' my boundaries" crap, 'cause I ain't buyin' it and _you_ know it's bull too. You're followin' Mikey 'cause you figure he knows what he's doin'. But guess what? He doesn't have a plan! He never does. It's Mikey; he lives in the moment, that's just what he does. He gets what you don't about this whole situation, that it ain't about fittin' the molds anymore."

"Like hell it isn't!" Leo retorted, an' I had to fight to keep from grinnin' at hearin' him swear. Gettin' him mad, I was findin' out, was a great way of gettin' the truth about things from him; he had so little experience at gettin' pissed an' gettin' over it that he tended to just blurt things out. I mean, yeah, Leo could repress like no one could, but he hardly ever let himself get outright _pissed off_, work through it, an' then let it go. "This is about nothing _but_ fitting into molds! If we come off as too strange, if we don't fit in, we come under suspicion. I have to do what I know works."

So that was it. Leo's face got darker as I smirked; he'd admitted exactly what I was tryin' to prove. I figured I'd better cut him a little slack before he shut down again, though, so I switched tactics. "Right. Okay, look, Leo, what did you do in Central America, when you were off on your own for trainin'?"

He looked confused. "How does that have anything to do with this?"

"Just answer the question. What'd you do?"

He shrugged slowly. "Trained. Meditated. Worked on my stealth and speed, on how to be invisible even during the day. I…helped the villagers who lived down there, by dealing with rogue soldiers who would rob them of all their supplies in the name of protecting them; paying for "protection," the same as what happened to Casey when he was a kid," he said quietly, glancin' at me as if I'd be pissed. Years ago, I might've been, if I'd known he was givin' me crap about my Nightwatcher gig when he'd done exactly the same stuff. But now…now it was just kinda good to know he'd still been Leo while he'd been gone. "And I traveled and explored a lot. It's a beautiful area."

"Didja have a specific routine?"

"Sometimes. Things generally followed the same pattern, and it was comforting to have some semblance of normalcy down there. But things are a lot less predictable in the jungle than in the city, and I learned to be a lot more flexible."

I nodded. I hoped he had, 'cause even though it sure as hell hadn't shown when he got back, it'd help him now if he could start livin' like that again. "So basically you just did whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted."

Leo blinked. "Yeah, I guess."

I rolled my eyes, punchin' him in the arm. "So do that now, brainiac. _That's_ what Master Splinter wants for you, just for you to do whatever. He didn't leave a specific list 'cause there wasn't anythin' in particular he wanted you to do. So just…do whatever it is that you feel like doin'. You don't _have_ to do anything; the stuff Mikey's showing you is just the kinda stuff he likes or thinks you'll like, just a way to get you out there an' show you the options we've got now. But that doesn't mean you gotta try everythin'. It's not like you don't know how to say no to the chucklehead."

"But he's…"

"He's what? Right? An expert on bein' human?" Leo glanced away, an' I could tell that was what he'd been thinking. I shrugged, 'cause he had a point; Mikey got along with everyone, an' he'd sure as hell watched a lot more TV than any of us. The chucklehead could improvise better than anyone I knew, an' he knew how to just roll with a situation, even if he didn't have a clue what he was supposed to do. "Yeah, maybe he is. But that doesn't mean you have to do everythin' he suggests, or that even if you do, it's gonna somehow magically help you act like the perfect human. There's no checklist, Leo, no criteria or standard to meet; whoever you are is whoever you are, and the rest of the world gets to move around that."

I shut up for a couple minutes, tryin' to let him get his head around it. Lettin' him know there was no threshold to reach that would let him blend perfectly was probably a letdown, but he needed to hear it. If he stopped tryin' to be and do everythin' he thought he should, he'd start makin' some progress. The idea of doin' somethin' just because he wanted to, not because it was part of a schedule or a Ninjustu skill ladder, was gonna frustrate the hell out of him to begin with, though.

When I figured he'd had enough time to think about it for now, I grabbed his shoulder and shook him a little, makin' sure he was listening. "Look, the biggest thing it comes down to is this: you don't answer to anyone anymore. Not Master Splinter, not Mikey, not Don, not me. No one, okay? You answer to yourself first an' foremost, got it?"

Leo stared at me like he'd never seen me before, but he finally nodded slightly. "I think."

Which meant that he probably understood it, but gettin' him to actually _live_ it…that was a fight for another day. One freakin' issue at a time. I let out a breath an' cuffed him lightly upside the head. "Good. We'll keep workin' on it. Now come on."

"Where?"

I stood up and stretched, gettin' my bearings before headin' west. "Wherever we feel like. I'm gonna show you what it's like to be your own boss."

Leo looked suspicious even as he fell into step beside me. "Why does that make me nervous?"

I grinned. Prob'ly 'cause he had good instincts. "Look, one of the things Mikey got right is that sometimes, the best way to find out what you do an' don't like is to try everythin' at least once. Then you've got somethin' to build on, somethin' to work with." I shot a glance at him, laughin' when his expression turned wary. "You had fun at the bar, right?"

His eyes narrowed but he nodded slightly, like he was wonderin' what agreeing with me would lead to. "It was alright…"

"Great. Now we're gonna see what you think of _my_ kind of bar."

* * *

**Tiffany Lancaster**

After you work in a bar enough years, you learn to read people. You get to the point where you can pretty much tell at a glance why people are there. Some are there to look for company, some for distraction, some to forget, some just to unwind and drown their sorrows after another long day.

And some are just there for trouble.

They're the easiest ones to spot, and that's why, when the redhead came in late Wednesday night, I knew right away that something was probably going to be started, and it was almost guaranteed to end badly.

He came in like he owned the place, looking over everything and everyone in a way that made me think he was either looking for someone to fight, or memorizing the entire bar. Maybe it was both. His eyes flicked over me for a moment, and he smirked when he saw me watching.

Now, I've seen a lot of guys over the years, and some of them have been extremely good-looking. But this guy…he was the kind of guy every girl wanted to try at least once, no matter how firmly your mom and friends warned you against it.

He had short auburn hair, spiked and carelessly messy. He was dressed casually, in just a pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt. Nothing fancy about him, yet he was still the best-looking guy there. He was obviously fit, with toned arms that filled his sleeves and a well-defined chest I could see even through his shirt. There was a cocky self-assurance around him that would have been a turn-off in anyone else, but that I had a feeling was justified in him.

I could tell he was bad news.

It was obvious in the way he eyed everyone. For some reason or another, he was spoiling for a fight. He glanced over at the pool tables, slowly, like he was just checking out the game. No one paid him much notice, other than to toss back a few sullen glares, either because they didn't care or they knew better. Even with the rowdier crowd back there playing, they could probably tell he wasn't someone to screw with; beyond the muscles that rippled all over him, he walked like someone without a single concern. He wasn't worried about anyone jumping him or trying anything, he was _hoping_ for it, like he knew he'd be the one to finish anything that got started.

Fortunately for my sanity (and furniture), no one was biting, so he ambled over to the bar and slid onto a stool. I took a deep breath and approached. "What'll it be?"

He looked me over, his gaze appreciative, though he didn't ogle me like some of the scumbags that came in occasionally. "Just a beer."

I bit the inside of my cheek. This close up I could see that his eyes were dark green, startlingly so, and he had a sharp Brooklyn accent, the kind of self-assured drawl that made my toes curl. "Budweiser? Heineken?"

He smirked slightly. "Whatever you got on hand." He glanced to the side, like he expected to see someone beside him, and scowled suddenly. My hand clenched on the towel I was holding; with just that, he went from dangerously attractive to just dangerous. He glanced back at the door. "Would you get your ass over here?"

I bristled, thinking he was talking to me; there wasn't anyone at the door for him to—

Except suddenly there was.

A second guy seemed to just kind of melt out of the shadows and smoke near the door, walking up to the bar reluctantly. He moved the same way the redhead did, just without the bravado. The threat was still there, just quieter.

He was no less built, either, though he wasn't as obviously muscled as his—friend, I suppose. He glanced around at the place and his fellow bar-goers, looking both uncomfortable and vaguely unimpressed, and slid onto a stool to the right of his friend. I tried not to gawk at him. I'd never seen someone with such black hair, and it didn't help that he was just as good-looking as his friend. I grabbed for a mug and a towel just so I'd have something to do with my hands. "Can I get you anything?"

He glanced up and I gave up on trying not to stare. His eyes were a light grey, and set off by the black of his hair, they were just captivating. He seemed uncomfortable by the attention and glanced back down at the bar. "Jack and Coke, please."

I nodded, glad for the chance to turn away from them, feeling the heat in my face. There was a snort from behind me that sounded like it came from the redhead, and I glanced up at the mirror above the bar without moving my head, just in time to see the newcomer elbow the redhead in the side.

"Raph."

"What? I didn't say a word, Leo." He caught my eyes in the mirror and grinned. "Hey, on second thought, a shot of Jack for each of us, to start with," he said, ignoring his friend's grimace.

"You got it." Raph and Leo. Those definitely weren't names you heard every day, but they seemed to fit the two of them. I handed them their drinks wordlessly and moved off to clean some of the mugs and check on the levels of the various bottles of liquor I had available. The two of them talked quietly as the hours wore on, ordering another round of drinks, and, at Raph's insistence, more shots at one point. Given that I was at the bar, it was impossible not to hear parts of their conversation, and I heard snatches of talk about Central America, some guys named Mike and Don, and something about splinters that made absolutely no sense. Still, I'd always made it a point not to eavesdrop on purpose, which was easy enough to avoid considering how quietly the dark-haired one spoke. There were tension lines around his eyes, and his was the look of hundreds of other guys who came in here with problems they couldn't handle right away, though I found myself hoping that whatever was on his mind would work out. He seemed young and old at the same time, but he was still a stranger to me, so I did my best to tune them out, choosing to keep an eye on the pool group in the back instead. A large part of the job, after all, was making sure that fights didn't get started; especially now, when our bouncer had quit before we could find a replacement.

As much as I'd hoped the group in the back wouldn't pay attention to the two at the bar, it had been impossible to miss them when they came in. And between the numbers of drinks the pool players had gone through, and the way both of the newcomers had visibly dismissed the bar at large, I was willing to bet the six in the back were willing to be offended at just the slightest thing.

Raph and Leo were generally ignoring everyone, thankfully, though both of them kept glancing up at the mirror above the bar occasionally. The redhead kept eyeing the group in the back like he was waiting for them to try something, while the dark-haired one kept an eye on everyone, including me. He seemed oddly uncomfortable having anyone at his back, and while I would be the first to admit that the bar wasn't the classiest establishment in the city, it wasn't like it was a complete dive.

I was ready to be offended for the sake of my place of employment…at least until the pool players headed for the bar in a group. I muttered a quick prayer that nothing would happen and shifted closer to the silent alarm button that the owner had installed under the bar.

The six from the back all moved up to stand behind the two at the bar, and I watched as the redhead turned on his stool slightly, eyeing the men behind his friend. The redhead—Raph, I remembered—was still relaxed, lounging against the counter, but somehow I was sure that he'd be on his feet at the first sign of anything. He took a pull from his bottle and glanced at his friend, tilting his head towards the group and raising an eyebrow in what looked like invitation. I held my breath, hoping Leo wouldn't take him up on the offer.

I could see those gray eyes flick up to the mirror to look at the men behind him, then back down at his drink. Leo shook his head slightly.

The redhead looked disappointed and glanced back at the loiterers. "You need somethin'?"

Apparently I wasn't the only one who caught the dismissal in his voice, because it seemed to piss off the others. "More beer. You wanna move so we can get some?"

Raph raised his other eyebrow, glancing at the empty stretch of bar beside him, and me standing a good six feet away. "Looks to me like you got plenty of room," he drawled, tilting his head towards the opposite end of the bar. "An' look! There's even a bartender. Way down there at the other end."

If this was Raph's idea of discouraging the animosity his friend seemed anxious to avoid, he was doing a really bad job.

I could see them all tensing and spoke up, not willing to have a fight start just an hour before closing. "Can I get you guys anything?"

They all glanced at me, and the mouthy one scowled. "'Nother round of beers," he ordered.

"Coors again?"

"Fine."

I pulled six bottles out, setting each one on the bar in front of me as I popped the caps off, subtly ensuring that the group of them would have to leave the two at the bar alone to get them. I knew from experience that it wasn't a good move to pick sides, but based on how harmless Raph and his friend had been (so far), I was more inclined to take up on their behalf.

It seemed like I was a little more obvious than I'd thought, because there were more than a few mutters and glares thrown my way as they came to collect their drinks. They no longer had a pretense to hang around the bar, though, so they slapped their money on the counter and reluctantly returned to their table in the back.

I kept an eye on things as subtly as I could, the unease in my stomach increasing as the group in the back went through their beers more quickly than the first few rounds. Raph ignored them, thankfully, apparently heeding his friend's decision not to start anything. I kept hoping that Leo, who was obviously the less antagonistic of the two, would convince him to leave, but he seemed absorbed in his drink and whatever had driven him here in the first place.

My luck ran out when the beer did. Apparently one more bottle had been all the more liquid courage that Roger, a loudmouth I finally recognized from an incident a few months back, had needed to resume his pissing contest with Raph. He hauled himself up from the table and stormed back up to the bar, standing much closer than was polite. Raph turned around with that same casual assurance. "What?"

"Get your ass up," Roger growled, his friends gaining their feet and grumbling back in the corner. "I'm sick of your shit."

Raph just looked disinterested, though there was a gleam in his eyes that told me that even if his friend didn't want a fight, he wouldn't mind one. "The hell's your problem? I haven't said more'n a dozen words to you all night, bud."

It was true that Roger had nothing concrete to pin his anger on, but it was also true that Raph had been radiating a "try your luck" vibe all night. "You think you're so damn funny, don't'cha."

I was waiting for the expected retort of "I think I'm hilarious," could practically see it on the tip of Raph's tongue, but then Leo shifted slightly, and I saw his lips move in a quiet murmur. Raph's hackles went down just like that, though he sighed like he was disappointed. "I think I'm just sittin' here enjoyin' my beer," he drawled, tipping the bottle at Roger in mock salute, "and you're interruptin' me. I'm not lookin' to start a fight."

Based on the look in his eyes, and his earlier grin, it was an obvious lie. Given the fact that I could see he was willing to listen to his friend, though, I could step in. I wasn't willing to support anyone who was trying to pick fights in the bar. "Roger, why don't you go sit back down. You know we don't put up with any fighting in here."

Roger flicked me off, and I could feel the blood rushing to my face in response to my temper. "Shut the hell up, bitch. I see you takin' their side, just 'cause you wanna jump 'em."

I saw red. No one ever talked to me like that, and I wasn't about to start putting up with it. I opened my mouth to tell them to get out—

"Apologize."

The word was quiet and clipped, but it cut through everything. I glanced over to see Leo staring at Roger in the mirror, his face blank. He looked intensely focused now; Raph just looked interested.

"'Scuse me? Who the hell—"

"You don't ever talk to a woman like that," he said lowly, not even blinking, still watching Roger in the mirror with those odd grey eyes.

"Yeah, you'll stand up for her 'cause you hope she'll put out—"

I was the one who interrupted Roger this time, so furious at his implications I could hardly see straight. "Get out, Roger. Right now, or I call the cops."

"You ain't doin' shit," Roger growled. He flung his empty bottle at me, and even as drunk as he was, it didn't matter how bad his aim was at this distance. I tried to get my hands up in front of my face—

And then the point was moot.

I saw a blur, and Leo snatched the bottle out of the air, slamming it down on the bar so hard it cracked. I was completely in shock; people didn't—_couldn't_—do things like that, and he'd done it like it was nothing. I looked up to meet his eyes.

They were dark grey and hard as ice.

He turned to face Roger, who was gaping like the rest of his friends, and I swallowed. I was in no mood to stand up for Roger, not after what he'd said, but I had the strong suspicion that Leo might actually kill him if I didn't. I knew it wasn't concern over me that had made him snap, not entirely, but whatever had driven him here tonight; Roger's behavior seemed to just be the last straw.

"You owe her an apology," Leo said lowly, his voice completely empty of inflection. "You are going to deliver it, and then you are going to leave."

Roger had obviously never been that bright, because instead of listening, he just sneered. "I ain't gonna do—"

It was the second time I missed seeing Leo shift into motion.

There was a thud, and the next second he had Roger bent backwards over the bar, his shoulders pinned, their faces just inches apart. "I don't think you're listening," he said quietly, and it almost would have been more comforting if he'd been shouting; I'd never seen someone so restrained even when they were so obviously furious, especially not after a few drinks. I was familiar with the actions of drunks, but not of someone in a deadly calm like this. "It's never acceptable to speak to a woman the way you have, let alone try to hurt her. You owe her some respect. I know the concept of chivalry is likely something you've never heard of before, but you're going to learn."

Roger gaped at him, his mouth opening and closing soundlessly as he tried to get his breath back, and Raph nudged his friend's hip with his toe. "Leo, if you kill 'im, he can't exactly apologize," he said casually, not looking the least bit concerned. He glanced up at me. "Plus she's prob'ly gonna put it on our tab."

Leo eased up, just enough to use his forearm to tip Roger's chin back until he was staring at me upside-down. "Apologize," he repeated lowly.

Roger's eyes were wide, and his throat worked for a second before he gasped out a strained "sorry." Leo looked up at me, and I nodded frantically. "It's fine," I said quickly.

His jaw ticked slightly, but he pulled back and let Roger go, who slid to the floor, pale as a sheet. Leo pulled out his wallet and laid a few bills on the counter, giving me a deep nod that was almost more like a small bow. "Sorry about this." He glanced at his friend, looking just as antsy as he had when they'd come in. "Raph."

Raph sighed and finished his beer. "Yeah, fine." He fished out his wallet as well, paying for his drinks. He darted a glare at Roger. "Thanks for totally screwin' up the evening, moron."

Leo turned for the door, and that seemed to snap Roger's friends out of their haze. I heard a small click and saw one of them snap a blade out, lunging for Leo's back. I opened my mouth to warn him—

And then Raph _moved_.

Raph stepped forward and clothes-lined the guy right across the chest with an arm the size of a small sapling, and the guy's own momentum drove all the air out of his lungs. He collapsed to the floor, the knife dropping from nerveless fingers, gasping as he tried to breathe again. Raph's good humor seemed to run out at the threat to his friend, and the sense of danger that had always been there settled over him. "Bad move, jackass." The mocking tone in his words was gone; all that was left was a rumbling growl. "You oughta be glad I didn't aim for your throat."

Given the way my luck was going so far, it wasn't much of a surprise that even seeing two of their friends taken down within seconds didn't deter the rest of the group from trying their luck. Another one swung his fist at Raph, who just rolled his eyes, grabbed the guy's wrist, and used his own momentum to throw him into a wall. The fourth stepped up, swinging a pool stick at the back of Raph's head, only to have Leo step right into the motion, raising his arm.

The pool stick snapped in half across his forearm.

Leo didn't even blink, just gripped the back of the guy's neck, folded him in half and drove a knee into his gut. The remaining two didn't wait around for their turns.

The guy Raph had hit was still gasping like a beached fish, and the one Leo had struck wasn't in much better shape. While Raph just toed the two of them disinterestedly where they were lolling on the floor, Leo still looked primed to fight.

I nearly cried with relief when Raph stepped forward, wrapping a hand around Leo's upper arm. "Hey. I'm fine, bro. Calm down."

Leo turned to look at him—were they really brothers?—his face expressionless, and said something in a foreign language. It sounded Asian, but I couldn't tell.

Whatever Leo said, Raph just snorted and shook his head in reply. "He's a cowardly piece of shit. Prob'ly wouldn't've done anythin' more than give me a headache. I'm hardheaded, remember? You've said it dozens of times yourself. 'Sides, I've taken harder hits than that from Donnie over the years, an' I'm fine." He shook Leo's arm gently, and I held my breath as Leo's fists slowly uncurled. "C'mon. We'll go for another run, an' if you're not frickin' exhausted by then, I'm pourin' an entire bottle of Jack down your throat an' dumpin' your ass in bed anyway."

Leo sighed and nodded, some of the tension in his shoulders disappearing. He turned and moved soundlessly to the door, and I let a heavy breath out. I was still trying to process what had happened, eyeing the guy Raph had thrown into a wall and wondering if he was dead or just concussed. Should I report them? And what would I say, that the two guys who'd been defending my honor—and how the hell did _that_ suddenly happen at this bar?—had completely flattened the attackers, even at three-to-one odds?

Raph glanced at me at the sound, a small smirk lifting one corner of his mouth. "Sorry 'bout all the excitement," he said casually, sounding only slightly repentant. "You alright?"

I nodded silently, hoping he would just leave.

He seemed to pick up on that, a brief flash of sheepish guilt flitting across his face. "Good. Uh…you want me to take these guys outside for ya?" he offered, awkwardly gallant as he nudged one of Roger's friends in the face with his foot.

I cleared my throat, making myself speak up. "No, it's fine. They won't cause any more problems." I glanced over at Roger. "Will they?"

Roger looked like he wanted nothing more than for Raph and Leo to leave so he'd have a clear shot at the door. He shook his head and muttered something.

Raph narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth, only to have Leo stick his head back inside the door. "Raph?" His voice was quiet, his face unreadable as he looked over all of us again.

Roger swallowed audibly and glanced up at me. "No more problems," he said quickly, like he hated to say it at all.

The smirk on Raph's face couldn't be more obvious. "Sounds good." He nodded to me. "Have a good night."

He slipped out after Leo, and about two minutes later, Roger and his cronies did the same, dragging the (hopefully just) unconscious one up off the floor and snapping at each other the whole way. I glanced around the empty bar, grabbed the open bottle of Jack, and poured myself a large shot.

These were the nights when I regretted not joining my sister at cosmetology school.

* * *

**Michelangelo**

I was kinda prepared for a few different scenarios that night, and given that Leo was gone for about five hours, I'd had plenty of time to figure them all out in detail. Option one, Leo would come back pissed off after an evening spent plotting and worrying and giving himself yet another ulcer, and then yell at me. Option two, Leo would still come back in his funk and spend the rest of the night not even looking at me. Or option three, Leo wouldn't come back at all, but would call me and say he was gonna spend the night at April's and Casey's, or back at the Lair, and that he really needed to think things over. Pretty much all the options were gonna suck, though I was willing to admit that options one and three probably weren't all that likely.

'Course, what actually happened was nothing like that.

It was late enough that I was starting to think about calling Leo and seeing if he was okay, when I finally heard a key scraping in the lock. By the time I made it from my room to the living room, Raph was letting himself in, one of Leo's arms draped over his shoulders. He glanced up, grinning at me. "Hey Mike. Sorry 'bout the noise, I was tryin' to be quiet."

I don't know how Leo always looked so serious when Raph came creeping in late, 'cause I was just glad to see 'em…except that Leo wasn't moving. "You guys okay?"

He blinked, then seemed to realize what it looked like. "Oh, geez, Mikey, it's not like that," he said, cringing a little. "We're fine, Leo's just a little…totally plastered."

"Am not," something that might have been Leo's voice mumbled from underneath his hair. "'M fine."

Raph snorted. "You're drunk as hell, trust me."

Leo looked up, swinging his head to look at both of us. "I do. I trust both of you. Don't say it enough, but—" He looked at me and I winced a little, waiting for some kind of explosion, but Leo's face just kind of crumpled a little. "Mikey, 'm sorry. Didn't mean to make you worry. You guys are—"

Raph just grimaced. "Right, we love you too. No mushy crap tonight, alright? I just got you outta Emo-land as it is." He looked up at me. "You gonna just stand there, or are ya gonna help me get his ass in bed?"

I blinked, wondering when the pod people who had apparently replaced my brothers were gonna attack, but figured I might as well get 'em to let their guard down first. "Sure. I mean, yeah, lemme grab him." I bounded over to Leo's side and slung his other arm over my shoulders, and we dragged him over to his room.

'Course at that point, Raph and I realized we'd have to either leave Leo in his clothes—which, by the way, smelled like skankety places, smoke, and beer—or venture into the no-man land of brotherhood, in which we tried to change him.

We compromised.

Raph held Leo up while I wrestled his shirt off, and while I give Leo props for trying to help, since he was working with almost zero coordination, it was pretty much the opposite of helpful. It took about five times longer than it should have, but we finally got his shirt, shoes and socks off. I looked over at Raph. "Now what?"

He made a face. "Grab 'im some water, will ya? He'll prob'ly gut himself in the mornin' otherwise."

I glanced at Leo, who may or may not have actually been asleep standing up. "Right. I'm on it." I was back in a couple seconds with a bottle of water, which I pushed right against Leo's chest. "Drink that," I ordered, trying to mimic the Leo Voice.

Leo stared at it, held it up like an inch from his eye, then looked up at Raph suspiciously. "The last thing you told me to drink tasted like…like poor life choices," he said accusingly.

I tried not to laugh, but seriously? It tasted like poor life choices? I had to write that one down. "That was Raph," I said reasonably. "This is me."

"Oh."

Raph rolled his eyes. "It's water, brainiac. Besides, it's not like you can really get any drunker at this point."

Leo blinked. "Oh. Okay." He chugged about half of the bottle of water, then looked like he forgot what he was supposed to be doing. "Now what?"

Raph ordered him to the bathroom, then made him get changed by telling him Master Splinter was coming over for practice.

Leo, who'd apparently managed to forget that Sensei was in _Japan_, totally believed him and opened the door a minute later in pajama pants, looking more than a little unbalanced. His eyes went a little crazier when he saw me, and he yanked me forward by my shirt. "Mikey, _I can't find the incense_," Leo hissed, like he was worried Master Splinter was going to hear and crack him on the head with his walking stick if we couldn't find the nag champa.

I was trying so hard not to just laugh in his face, and not really doing all that well. "It's okay, Sensei decided to postpone practice for you until tomorrow morning." I swallowed a snicker, wishing someone was taping this and trying to think of something that would distract Leo from accidentally killing himself as he tried to practice while hammered. "I'm going first. He, uh, he hid the incense, and uh…he's making me find it! For training. Strengthening the senses."

There was a second of silence, and I steadfastly refused to look at Raph, who'd actually shoved his fist in his mouth to keep from laughing, 'cause I knew we'd both lose it if we looked at each other.

Worst lie ever? Close.

Did Leo still buy it? Absolutely yes.

"Oh." Leo's eyes narrowed suddenly. "I didn't hear the phone ring," he said slowly.

How the crap he managed to focus on that and yet missed the whole "Master Splinter isn't even on this continent" thing totally boggled me. "He called my shell cell," I lied easily. "I had it on my silent ringtone."

He nodded like that made total sense, and laid his hand on the top of my head (I think he was aiming for my shoulder), looking really serious. "Try closing your eyes. Losing one sense helps to amplify the others."

I gave him a thumbs-up. "Got it. I'll wear a blindfold."

Leo nodded back. "That's what I did. Worked on the Foot Tech when I was being chased…after I got kicked off the building, I didn't think of it b'fore then…"

Things stopped being funny at that point. Leo had never really talked about what happened the morning he got attacked, though we were able to figure out the gist of it ourselves, and while I had kinda always wanted to know what had happened, I didn't want to find out like this. "Yeah, okay, that's great," I said quickly, hoping I could derail him; I didn't want to hear this, not tonight, and I especially didn't want Leo to tell us this way.

"S'effective. Even with how loud the rain was—"

Raph made a face. "That's enough of that," he grumbled, grabbing Leo by the side of the head and towing him over to his bed before pushing him over on top of it. Leo dropped like a lead weight, legs still hanging over the side. I swung his legs up after him and rolled him over so he didn't suffocate on his pillow.

Leo made a valiant attempt to focus on us before giving up and pointing in our general direction. "Don't lemme sleep through practice," he mumbled, trying to fight the way his eyelids were falling.

I held up one hand with my fingers spread. "Scout's honor."

"Good." And with that, Leo passed out cold.

Raph glanced at me. "You do realize that's the hand sign for "live long an' prosper," not the Boy Scouts, right?"

"Yep."

"An' you've never even been close to bein' a Boy Scout."

I shrugged. "We also don't have practice tomorrow, so hey, moot point all around."

Now that Leo was asleep and the hilarity of him of all people being drunk (something I'd totally revisit in the morning) had died down, it occurred to me that while he was walking around freaking out, he'd called Raph for company, not me.

No big surprise, after how things had gone that afternoon, but still.

It was a little-kid thing to think, like I was eight again. Leo was always a role model for me when we were little, since he got the biggest, shiniest weapons, and he could usually do the moves Splinter taught us first—unless it was flips or acrobatics, 'cause those had always been my specialty. Still, Leo had been my favorite toy back then, and I wanted him to like me best. It was the same big brother adoration all little bros grow up with, and I'd been no different, except for the whole turtle thing. I'd been jealous then, when Leo had spent most of his time with Raph (pre-leadership Leo had, anyway).

I was jealous now.

It was stupid, and I knew it, but I couldn't help feeling like I was the one who was supposed to be closest to Leo now. We were living together 'cause Don figured we'd mesh the best, and because he figured I'd be able to help draw Leo out of his shell, pun fully intended. I'd heard the tail-end of his talk with April, and I agreed with him.

So it was supposed to be me hanging out with Leo, helping him relax and learn to just be himself. Instead, all I'd done was make him even more freaked out. And then not only did Leo call Raph to help him calm down or go beat things up, they go out for one night of Raph-style relaxation, and apparently that does the trick.

Since when had Raph's version of fun ever been something Leo enjoyed? And since when had I been the one snapping at him? And since when had Leo ever been the one to run from anything?

What the shell had happened to the way things were supposed to be?

"Mikey?"

I glanced at Raph, then grabbed Leo's stuff to go throw it in the bathroom, giving myself an excuse to turn away. "Yeah?"

"What's up?"

"Nothin', why? I should be asking you that; where did you take him, anyway?" I asked quickly. "I've never seen him that bad, not even at your twenty-first birthday." Leo, to his embarrassment and our eternal amusement, did not hold his liquor well.

"Hey, he only had a few shots and a couple drinks. 'Sides, he seemed like he needed it tonight."

Leo's stuff fell from my hands. "Yeah, I bet he did." Did Leo tell Raph what I said?

A heavy hand landed on my shoulder and pinned me in place until Raph could step in front of me. "Look, Mikey, I don't know exactly what set Leo off tonight, or why he didn't stay in, but it's not about you."

I snorted, feeling pissed. No, it wasn't, 'cause I couldn't fix anything; I just screwed things up, apparently. "Yeah, I got that much."

Raph growled, knuckling his eyes. "I didn't mean it like that. It's not you, it's just—it's all that stuff. Leo told you about the whole Karai thing, right?" I nodded. "That just sent him over the edge. That and all the tryin' to blend stuff…look, I know you're just tryin' to show 'im the kinda stuff you like an' waitin' for 'im to find somethin' among all that. But Leo thinks he's supposed to try _all_ of it, an' he just can't handle that; it's too much for 'im all at once, Mikey. But he still thinks he's gotta try it, 'cause that's what Sensei told him and that's what you're doin'. And from where Leo's standin', you know how to be human the best. So he's tryin' to follow instead of lead for once, but…" He shrugged. "You guys are different people. He can't do what you can."

"Since when?" Even if I was a little mad at Leo for this afternoon, and for staying gone, he was still Leo; I'd never stopped thinking any of my big brothers could do anything they wanted.

"Leo's Leo, an' he can do a lot of stuff, but not this; he can't be you," Raph said simply. Leo started to snore quietly, and Raph reached out and shoved him a little until he stopped. "Maybe it's just somethin' that's gonna take a few years. Maybe after a while he'll be better around people, and he'll be good with goin' out an' doin' stuff more often. But not now. It's not somethin' he can handle yet. And he's still stuck on followin' orders and not lettin' anyone down, and if he can't keep up with you, he thinks he'll disappoint you. An' we both know that ain't the case, but unless you tell him that, you can wait 'til you're both old an' fat and he still won't figure it out on his own."

I slid down the wall to sit on the floor, staring at Leo on the bed. "So what'm I supposed to do then, Raph? If you've got all the answers?"

Raph squatted down beside me. "I _don't_ have all the answers, moron; never have, prob'ly never will. I only know this 'cause I had to go to _Casey_ of all people to get some advice, an' I thought about it for almost a whole day."

"Yeah? And what'd you come up with?"

"You gotta stop givin' him someone to follow, bro. He's never gonna learn what he wants if he's tryin' to do what we want 'im to do. Let 'im take it at his own pace. I'm not tellin' you to stop tryin', 'cause the truth is Leo needs us to keep an eye on 'im. But you're supposed to be doin' your own thing too; we've seen the trouble Leo's had with balance, an' we gotta keep the same things in mind."

"How am I supposed to be some kinda expert on this, Raph?" I demanded. "No one's ever trusted me with something like this! You guys have always been all about the whole "save Mikey from himself" gig. And yeah, I know part of that's me. I was cool with it, with being the little brother and not having to worry 'cause I knew you guys could take care of things, and all I had to worry about was keeping you from each other's throats. But I don't know how else to be responsible for someone, Raph. Everything I know comes from watching you guys. Leo, he's always taken the "be there for everything" road, Don makes sure he does everything he can to make us comfortable, and you beat up anything and anyone coming after us. But with Leo…there's no one to beat up, Raph. We've got all the stuff we need, and even if we didn't, I couldn't build it anyways. Leo's way is the only one that could vaguely apply here, bro, except apparently that's not helping." I thumped my head back against the wall. "I can't be a role model, Raph. I don't wanna be. I just wanna be myself."

"No one's askin' you to babysit 'im, Mikey." He kicked his heels out and sat down with a thud. "You said Master Splinter told you to be more responsible, right? That doesn't mean learnin' to be responsible for someone, it's just not like that. I don't think Sensei would ask one of us to try that again."

"I know that. But do you wanna tell me what it _is_ like, Raph? You took him to a _bar_, dude, and he came home smashed; Leo, of all people. Don't tell me he didn't say something. Did he tell you what he wants? What's wrong about our new life? 'Cause he won't tell me, and so I'm just trying to help him deal the only way I know." I sighed. "And now this stuff with Karai blows up, and apparently I'm an idiot for thinking that things will take care of themselves. I don't know why you guys think I'm gonna be able to fix anything."

"Mike, we don't think that. I think Don figured that with it being you, plus your good intentions...it'd work out. Leo's always been soft on ya." He looked over at Leo. "I don't know what to do any more'n you do, bro. Sensei asked me to keep an eye on Leo, an' I'm tryin', but…it's Leo. The only way to do that is to make him _let_ you keep an eye on 'im, but he's got to learn to live his own life an' to stop takin' orders. All we can do is just…be here." He frowned a little. "And go easy on him for the bar thing, alright? It was probably just a one-time thing, but if we give him crap every time he tries somethin' we think "isn't him," he's gonna stop tryin' new stuff."

"I wasn't gonna give him crap about it," I retorted. I hadn't planned to, other than maybe a little teasing, but Raph had a point; if we kept poking at each other every time we did something that wasn't our usual stuff, it wouldn't help. I thought back to how Donnie had chosen to stay out of the sewer trip, and realized how we'd reacted to that probably hadn't helped him any; this was Donnie's baby, and it made sense for him to go a little crazy with the "being careful" part of things.

I groaned and bounced my head against the wall again. "Our problem is that we don't know how to find middle-ground," I muttered. And we didn't. We either knew how to be completely in each other's business, or we backed way off to let each other figure things out (and screw stuff up) alone.

Raph snorted quietly. "We've got a hell of a lot of problems, Mikey, that's just one'a the most obvious ones."

I glanced at him. "Why are you so…"

Raph tilted his head, looking confused. "So what?"

"So…not pissed? About the whole Karai thing. I'd expect you to be all ready to just charge into Foot HQ and blow her up."

"I already did the pissed thing, when Leo told me. But really…nothing's happened yet. An' even if, or when, it does…" Raph shrugged. "This ain't a surprise to me, Mikey. I've kinda been half waitin' for somethin' to happen ever since we started this. I figured that sooner or later, everythin' from the sewers was gonna crawl out after us and find us here. Yeah, so it happened a lot sooner than I figured it would, but at least this way we don't have to sit around an' wait for it. It's just how our luck is; it's always been like this."

There it was again. "So you think it's inevitable too. That things are gonna fall apart either way."

Raph raised an eyebrow. "'Too'?" he repeated. "What, you're sayin' Leo thinks the same thing?"

"Yeah."

I could feel Raph's eyes on me, but I didn't look up. "That why he went out alone instead of bringin' you?" he asked.

"Yeah. I…yelled at him," I admitted quietly, my eyes on the floor. "When he told me about Karai and then started freaking out about it. He just kept going on about how all this crap with Karai is inevitable, and how everything's gonna go to hell sooner or later and there's nothing we can do about it other than just _wait_ for it. I got pissed, and I yelled at him."

"You say that like it's a big deal. I've been yellin' at 'im for years, an' he's still in one piece." Raph nudged me in the shoulder. "So what'd you say? If you'd just yelled at him, you wouldn't be lookin' like you sold his swords for scrap metal."

I ducked my head farther. "I said that we didn't have to do anything, that we could just keep our heads down. He asked how long I thought we could stay on our toes waiting for Karai to come after us, and I said that if he managed to do it since he was fifteen, we could do it for a few months. And even though he obviously thought we were pathetic, it wasn't like we'd ever been caught or led the Foot to our home before."

"That's all?" He frowned, and I could tell he was trying to figure out why that was a crappy thing to say. "That's not that—oh. _Oh_." He winced.

"Yeah. Pretty great thing to say, huh?"

He looked sympathetic. "Hey, you had a good point, you just—worded it like shit."

I made a face. "Yeah, I got that much, thanks."

"Look, it's what you think, right? Which means you've got every right to say it. We're a team, Mikey; it's not a dictatorship. Leo's been wrong before, an' maybe he's wrong now." Raph shrugged, shaking his head. "Or maybe he's right. That's happened before too."

"Okay, but—"

"_But_ nothin'," he interrupted, catching my eyes. "You don't always have to agree with him, Mikey. An' either way, we aren't gonna figure out who's right or wrong tonight. Leo's dead to the world, you're beatin' yourself up 'cause you said somethin' stupid, I'm tired as hell from spendin' the night tryin' to rewire Leo's brain, an' Don doesn't even know what's goin' on yet. Save it for tomorrow, Mikey; we'll get together an' figure out what the hell we're gonna do then." He dropped a heavy hand on my head and pushed up to his feet. "So for now, just know that Leo isn't that pissed at you, an' we'll deal with it in the mornin'."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Now get some sleep, chucklehead."

I hoisted myself up and followed Raph to the door. I wondered if he could even tell that he was stepping in to back up Leo's position; Raph was never the mushy one, and he'd always preferred letting us know he cared by showing it and taking up the slack. I couldn't help wondering if he was just gonna take Leo's place for him and give Leo a chance to breathe. All our lives, we'd always followed someone; was Raph gonna step in now? Or were we all gonna have to learn how to live without orders? I couldn't see Raph staying sane having to play leader, but I couldn't really see Leo _not_ being the leader either.

"Hey, Raph?"

He paused in the doorway, one hand propped on the doorjamb as he looked back at me tiredly. "Yeah?"

"Are we ever gonna be normal?" I tried to smile, but I couldn't quite make it sound like a joke.

Raph stared at me for a second. "Normal's overrated," he said quietly. He tossed a wave back over his shoulder and pulled the door shut behind him.

There were way too many ways to read that, given how un-Raph-like Raph had already been tonight. But we were supposed to be changing, right? So maybe it _was_ a Raph-like thing to do; maybe he was starting to get back to being Raphie, the way he'd been when we were kids, before we'd all realized the sewers were all the bigger our world was gonna be, and they ended eventually.

And maybe I was thinking way too much about all this stuff. Raph was right; there was way too much crap to think about tonight, and I'd never been the planning type anyways. Tomorrow I could step things up some more. I could help us come up with a plan, and keep Leo calm, and take my turn at being the one who took care of things.

I was about fifteen years past the age of believing the whole "things will look better in the morning" bit, but tonight…

Tonight, it couldn't hurt to be a little gullible just one more time.

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**A/N:** Another one bites the dust! And now that we finally broke the dam on Leo's issues, the rest of the guys are gonna be taking their turns in the spotlight. (Mwahahaha…) The next chapter is already in the works, and about…10ish pages of it are written already. I have it (mostly) planned out too, so writing it should go a little faster. I'm really, really going to try and aim for updating again in a month, but we'll see how it goes. As always, thanks for reading, and please review; pointing out typos is always appreciated too. ^_^


	14. Chapter 14

_**Disclaimer**__: see previous chapters._

Once again, another two-month gap in updating, though at least it wasn't longer. This time, however, I have a happy reason for it: I have a job! After about ten months of applying for just about anything, I finally found a full-time job, and one that's in my field, too, which is such a blessing. (I'm working for a pharmaceutical publication as an associate editor! :D)

The flip side, of course, is that I don't have much free time during the week anymore, though since I'm working from home, I do still have a little, and my weekends are all mine now that I'm not working my old part-time job. I'm going to do my best to keep the updates coming on this story, but the every-other-month update rate that I've been working at might be how things are going to stay. I'm not going to let it go longer than that between updates, but I don't think I can get chapters out any more frequently with my current job, though I'll try.

Again, trust me when I say that I will never, ever abandon this story; I just can't update as quickly as you (or I) would like. But I'll keep trying, and from here on out, I have more of the story written than when I started, so that means very few of the remaining chapters will have to be written from scratch. I know the slow updates are unpleasant, but please bear with me.

Last order of business! Tons of thanks, as always, to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: **animeflunky, J-Kid, meganechan720, Kallasilya, Ozlex, Silver Lightning Blade, Sabrinasidd, Dipsey,** and **Ilovehugs94**. Every single review makes my day ten times better. *love*

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**Michelangelo**

When you're a mutant turtle living in the sewers beneath New York, you have a lot to worry about. Training, staying alive, runs at night, when to head out to hit the scrap yards and not be seen…there's a long list, which was why I'd always really liked sleeping. When I was asleep, I never remembered the crap we had to deal with (unless I had nightmares). And most days, even when I woke up, for about the first fifty seconds after I opened my eyes, everything was cool. Even when things had been their worst while we were living in the sewers, I'd always managed to forget about them while I slept. Sometimes I'd even have a few minutes after waking up before remembering that we were either going into battle, one of my brothers was hurt, _all_ of my brothers were hurt, someone was missing, take your pick. It never lasted past the door of my room, but I'd always really appreciated those few little minutes before I realized we still had crap to clean off the proverbial fan, and it had just been getting smellier while I'd been asleep.

Okay, so I wasn't awesome with metaphors, but _I_ totally got what I was saying.

So waking up as a human, each and every day since we made the change, and having that feeling of "hey, I got a good night's sleep and it's a new day" last all day long, not just until I remembered what was going on…it was nice. Still weird, though, and still something I was trying to get used to. I'd kind started thinking about everything every morning when I woke up, when I was still half-asleep, convinced that there was something I was forgetting to remember.

So it didn't take long to remember last night, and when I did, I was half-tempted to just go back to sleep. But something thumped quietly out in the hall outside my room, and I threw my sheets back, creeping to the door. Someone was in the apartment. The Foot? A run-of-the-mill burglar? Dude, that'd be hilarious. I turned the handle carefully and pulled the door open a crack, glancing out into the hallway.

I couldn't help grinning. No intruders, just one very, _very_ hung-over older brother.

Leo was a few feet past my door, working his way down the hallway with his eyes screwed shut. He'd start off straight, veer into a wall with a thud, and then shuffle forward a little further until he hit the opposite wall, hands out in front of him like a blind guy.

I bit my lip to keep from snickering. "Uh, morning, Leo."

He didn't even bother looking back at me, just lifted one hand in what might have been a wave or might have been Leo checking for obstacles in front of him. "Yes. It is," he gritted out.

Oof. This wasn't gonna be pretty. "How you doing, bro?"

"Jack Daniels is a horrible man, and if I ever meet him, I'm going to kill him."

I snorted and slipped out of my room, slipping up beside Leo. He had pillow creases all up one side of his face, and he was kinda pale. "I'll make up an alibi for you," I offered generously. "Want me to get anything for you?"

"Drugs."

"Aren't those bad for you when you've been drinking?"

Leo turned his head slowly towards me, his eyes slit open just enough to focus on me. "What?"

"Alcohol and pain meds. They're a big no-no. Causes liver bleeding or something."

Leo just made a vague grabby motion towards me that I think was an honest attempt to go for my throat. I stepped backwards carefully. "But, uh, given that it's been a while since you drank anything, and we managed to get some water into you before you conked out, I'll bend this time. Plus you've probably already damaged your liver enough, so moot point. Just let me get the lights—"

"No lights," Leo growled, still following me into the kitchen.

I'd feel more threatened if this wasn't so hilarious. "Okay, no lights. Just ibuprofen."

"Yes."

I went for the medicine cabinet while Leo went rummaging in one of the drawers for something. I'd just gotten a couple ibuprofen out and was filling up a glass of water when I heard a ripping sound, and turned around to see Leo slapping a piece of duct tape over the kitchen light switch.

"Wow." I couldn't even think of anything else to say. "Seriously, Leo?"

Leo just growled a little as he ripped another piece of tape off with his teeth, running his hands over the wall until he found another switch and taped it over as well.

"That's the garbage disposal, Leo. Not a light."

"And?"

Okay, so he had a point; listening to the disposal would probably be as bad as staring at a light right about now. I inched forward to tug the roll of tape out of his hands and replaced it with the water glass and the pills. "Here's something you'll like better."

Leo knocked them back carefully, sipping at the water like he thought it might come back up. It wasn't until the glass was empty that he sighed, his shoulders coming down slightly. "Thanks."

"No problem." I wondered if I'd get anything more than one or two words at a time out of him for the rest of the day. At least with Leo obviously hurting so much, it was easy to just make myself forget about what had happened yesterday and worry about taking care of him for now. "Do you want me to—"

The phone rang, and Leo jerked around, raising the water glass like he was gonna kill the phone. "No, bad Leo!" I snaked a hand around him and yanked the phone away, pressing the talk button. "Chill, bro, no more noise. Why don't you go…lay back down or something? Or go brush your teeth."

Leo did the grabby hand thing again, and I held the phone farther out of his reach. "Bathroom, Leo. Go."

Off he shuffled, not exactly breaking any land-speed records.

I shook my head and propped the phone up to my ear. "Hello?"

"_So how's he doin'?"_

It was Raph, of course, not sounding either hung-over or even a little worried. Gleeful would be a good word for it.

I glanced after Leo, taking in the tape over all the light switches in the room and the way he wouldn't open his eyes any wider than slits. "Uh…not his best."

Raph snickered over the phone. _"Hit the speakerphone button."_

"Why?"

"_Just do it_."

I thought for a second about saying no, 'cause I was the one stuck here with Leo if Raph made him homicidal, but…hangover abuse was a brotherly _right_, one of the most sacred.

And because yeah, Don was right when he said I didn't have any respect for possible consequences when a joke was involved.

I hit the button and held up the phone. "Okay, go."

"_Hey, Leo, how ya doin', sunshine? Learn anythin' from last night?"_

Leo replied with a snarl of some impressively filthy Japanese that had Raph roaring with laughter across the phone line, while I just wondered where he'd heard that. Probably from Raph himself. Leo shuffled into the bathroom, and from the sounds of things, he was planning to just settle in for good. "I think you killed him, Raph," I remarked towards the receiver.

The chuckles finally tapered off. _"He's fine, the big wuss. Just don't let 'im kill himself."_ He raised his voice, and I angled the phone towards the bathroom again, figuring maybe he was gonna apologize or something.

Shoulda known better.

"_Make sure ya don't drink that much on your date, Leo!"_

The Exorcist soundtrack promptly started up as Leo began hurling. I winced and shook my head. "You're a real jerk sometimes, Raph."

"_You love it. Makes you look like the good brother."_

"Hey, I _am_ the good brother."

"_Yeah, just keep tellin' yourself that. Anyway, we gonna talk about what happened last night?"_

I managed to bite back my first response of "do we have to?" "About Leo?"

"_About Karai, shell-for-brains. I think that's all either of ya could handle today."_

"Oh." I couldn't help being relieved. Even though she was the bigger problem, Karai I could deal with. Leo…Leo was harder. "Yeah, I guess we should." My brain clicked on something and I winced. "Oh, crap. Does Donnie know?"

"_I told 'im this mornin'. What would be a good time to come over?"_

I glanced at the clock and weighed the fact that we really needed to talk before work against the obvious levels of world- and brother-targeted hate Leo had exhibited so far. "Probably in about thirty minutes or so, depends on when you have to work. Leo's off today, fortunately, and I don't have to be in until 10."

Raph yelled something I couldn't hear at Don on his end of the line. "_We'll be there around 8:30. Don's gotta be at work by 9:30, so that should give us enough time. You just worry about gettin' Leo vertical again by that point."_

"I can probably manage 'vertical,' just as long as you're not expecting 'pleasant' too. We'll see you then."

I decided that if we had half an hour till Raph and Don got here, Leo could have a few minutes of that all to himself to finish his conversation with the porcelain throne. I paced around the kitchen, lining up another glass of water, some willow tea, and a piece of toast for when Leo finally emerged. When he hadn't come out at the ten-minute mark, I snuck towards the bathroom and carefully eased open the door. "Leo?"

"Go 'way. 'm busy."

There was enough light coming in through the blinds that I could see Leo slumped on the floor, his head propped on his arms, which were resting on the edge of the tub. That explained why I could hardly understand him. I grinned. "Busy? Doing what?"

"Dying. Don't want any company."

I almost choked trying not to laugh and make Leo's head explode, but dang, I'd never seen him this whipped by a headache. 'Course, he'd never been this hung over, so that was probably why. "Sorry, bro, but if you kill yourself in the bathroom, I'm pretty sure we'll lose our security deposit," I said quietly, keeping the volume down.

"Just drag me out in the hallway, then."

I snickered as I slung one of his arms over my shoulders. "All the lights are on out there."

He tilted his head slightly, hiccupping queasily as I carefully pulled him to his feet. "Put me back to bed and let me smother myself in a pillow?"

"Again, security deposit, dude."

Leo snarled weakly. "If you really loved me, you'd put me out of my misery," he mumbled. "I can't believe Raph does this for _fun_."

I snorted, glad to see that Leo was at least working his way up to complete sentences. "This from the guy who practices till he can't stand up and then sits for an hour thinking about "oneness" with the universe. You're both masochists, your way just tends to be a little more useful from time to time. Just put aside the suicidal tendencies long enough for the ibuprofen to kick in, alright?"

He grumbled something that was probably totally undeserved, but shuffled with me into the kitchen. I let him sit down and slid the glass of water into his hands before he could face-plant on the table. "If you drink at least half of that by the time I get back, I'll bring you a present."

Leo made a face but sipped the water obediently. "Unless they're sleeping pills, you have nothing I want, Mikey."

I shook my head and trotted back to the bathroom to grab a washcloth and soak it with cold water. I hoped for Leo's sake that he was at least slightly more functional by the time Raph got here, or he'd never live it down. Fortunately, by the time I got back to the kitchen almost all the water was gone, and Leo was even nibbling halfheartedly at the toast. "Good job, dude. Ready for your present?" Leo just grunted. After years of translating Raph-speak, I was fluent in the language of grunts, so I took it as a yes. "Great. Up we go, over to the couch."

"Walking is not a present."

"The present's on the couch."

"If I sit on a whoopee cushion, you will lose a hand," he promised darkly. "And then I'll slap you with it."

I almost wished I'd thought of that, but given the strain around Leo's eyes, I could tell his head was seriously killing him. "No whoopee cushion, honest." He sat down on the couch carefully, and I wasn't sure if it was because he still expected a prank or because he didn't have a faster speed at the moment. "Okay, now tilt your head back."

He slid down on the couch until his head was propped on the back. "Good idea. Go for the throat, it's fastest," he mumbled idly.

"You're such a whiner." I laid the washcloth across Leo's eyes, and I could almost see the tension in his neck disappear.

Leo blew out a slow sigh, sinking further into the couch. "Have I mentioned you're my favorite brother?"

I laughed. "Not often enough."

"Mm. Remind me to mention it more often. Thanks, Mikey." He reached up to carefully press the washcloth against his temples, making a quiet sound of relief. It was quiet for about half a minute before Leo frowned. "I forgot your popsicles."

Well, that was a non sequitur if I'd ever heard one. "You what?"

"I forgot your popsicles." Like it'd make any more sense the second time he said it with no explanation.

I stared at him for a second before I realized he was talking about last night, and blew out a heavy breath. "Dude, I really didn't care about the popsicles," I said, joining him on the couch and trying not to bounce. Thinking about last night made me tired all over again. "Really."

"I'm sorry—"

I reached over and flicked him in the stomach, jolting him enough that he shut up for a second. "Seriously, Leo. You don't need to apologize."

He reached over and somehow managed to find my arm on the first try. "I'm not talking about the popsicles," he said quietly.

"Yeah, well, same answer." I tapped Leo's knuckles absently, wondering if the scrapes on them were from last night or from staggering around this morning. "Look, I was the one who said something stupid and—" And what, mean? Really below-the-belt? Or maybe that just fell into the category of "all of the above."

"I know you didn't mean it," Leo interrupted. He shifted his free hand to the washcloth to hold it in place and turned his head towards me, like he could actually see anything other than the insides of his eyelids at the moment. "Even when you know how to hurt us, you don't. It's not who you are. I just—I needed to go somewhere where I could just _not_ think about—about Karai and the Foot and all the plans I don't have for dealing with them."

I frowned. "And you couldn't do that with me?"

Leo's mouth quirked. "Mikey, when I'm upset—when any of us are upset—you let us sulk for as long as you think we need to, then step in to help us forget about it, and that…wasn't what I needed last night. I needed to—to get mad and get over it. Being around you normally takes me straight to the 'get over it' stage, but I really needed to let some of the pressure go."

"Which meant Raph." I was still trying to figure that out, 'cause Raph had always increased the pressure for Leo in the past, not made it go away.

"Raph knows how to be mad," Leo said slowly, his tone thoughtful. "He knows how to push to the breaking point, where you just lash out and—and bleed things off. But he also knows how to leave behind what you've gotten off your chest, even if it's just for a little while. It's something I need to learn. There are things I need to learn from all of you," he finished quietly.

I thought about that for a second and sighed. It made some sense, as much as Leo ever did, anyway. And besides, I knew that really, the main reason I didn't like Leo not staying to talk to me was because I was jealous. But I had to remember, Leo and me, we'd never _not_ gotten along, even if we drove each other a little crazy from time to time. Raph and Leo, though…they hadn't gotten along for years, and they both probably missed it. I didn't want to get in the middle of that, and I shouldn't. Besides, Leo was right; I was better at the 'moving on' part than the 'getting pissed' part of things. "Like how to cook?"

Leo cracked a small smile. "Among other things," he drawled.

"Right." I glanced at the clock and figured we had time for me to get one last thing off my chest. "One more thing, Leo."

"Hm?"

"You've gotta talk to me, bro."

I could tell Leo's confused look was in full-swing, even with the washcloth covering half his face. "What? Mikey, I do—"

"No, I don't mean just like in regular conversation, like what happened to you during the day; I mean _talk_ to me. About what's worrying you, what's freaking you out, whatever new stuff you tried, whether you hated or liked it. I can't—I feel like I can't read you anymore, bro," I said quietly, hating the words. "Used to be, I could tell how you were doing, even if I didn't know the reason behind it. When you're centered, Leo, I know you; you feel a certain way to me, just like Raph and Donnie do in their own ways. But now..." I shrugged helplessly. "You're all tangled up inside, bro, and you won't let anything out, and I don't get when you're annoyed or angry or fine 'cause you just feel all—mashed up and closed off. Look, you're allowed to be scared, Leo; I'm not a kid anymore, so I'm not gonna freak out if I see that you're scared. And I'm not a snot-nosed little brat anymore, either, to gloat when there's actually something I do better than you. I'm just me, Leo; I'm just your brother. _Talk_ to me."

Leo tilted his head back until he was facing the ceiling again. "Mikey, I don't—"

_I don't want to? I don't think you can handle it?_ "You don't what?"

"I don't want to disappoint you."

I couldn't help the way my jaw dropped. Was he serious?

Wait. Duh, it was Leo; of course he was.

"You don't want to disappoint me," I repeated. "What, by not being perfect? Dude, newsflash, you're a lot harder to relate to when you're perfect. We've all been waiting for you to be normal for years; it's easier to be just brothers when we don't feel like we've got to try and match up to you, when there doesn't have to be any rivalry. And I'm not saying that you should stop being awesome or slack off so we feel better, I'm just saying...don't be afraid to show us you're not Fearless, y'know? I promise we'll still like you."

Leo peeled back one corner of the washcloth. "Promise?" he asked, a crooked smile lifting the corner of his mouth.

He wasn't just joking when he asked that, but only Leo would actually have to ask. I smiled and patted the washcloth back into place. "Promise."

"Okay." He chewed on his lip for a second. "Then can I ask you something?"

I frowned, my spider senses flaring a little at his change in tone. "Sure." I reached down to grab Klunk where he was curling around my legs and set him down between us. Leo started petting him when Klunk bonked his head into Leo's hand, but his face didn't lighten like it usually did when Klunk came to beg for attention. "Leo?"

"Mikey...do you ever think that we have fates that we can't escape, no matter what? That there's a destiny, a path we have to follow, that we just can't turn away from?"

I blinked. It wasn't the weirdest thing Leo had asked out of nowhere, but it was definitely high on the list. "Um, it's not really something I've spent a lot of time thinking about, bro. I guess...I've always kind of figured that the future's what you make it. You're the master of your destiny and all that, you know? Why?"

"I wish I felt the same way," he said quietly. "But with everything's that happened...the way things have fallen together to put me right back in Karai's path, or her back in my path...maybe that's my destiny."

My stomach tightened like I'd eaten month-old pizza from the back of the fridge. "What is?"

"Ending Karai. Dealing with this feud for good. Even with this new life, it's like everything is telling me that there's no real escape from our old life until things are really over."

"No," I snapped. "That's bullshit."

Leo pushed the washcloth up off his eyes and blinked at me in surprise. "Mikey—"

"That's _bullshit_, Leo. There's no way that the only thing you've got in your future is killing Karai and that's it." I fisted my hand in the front of his shirt and shook him, ignoring Klunk's yowls as he abandoned the couch. "You got it? You're gonna do whatever you want. Nothing begins or ends with Karai; she's just a hurdle, and one that we deal with together. End of the story."

"Mikey—"

"I'm serious, Leo. Don't you dare even think crap like that, or try and pull something stupid like going to see her."

"I'm not—" Leo sat up straighter. "I would never endanger you guys like that," he said seriously.

"But you'd endanger yourself like that, as if that's any better? Don't be an idiot, Leo. We're a family, and even if we're backing off the patrol life, that's still another kind of team. Your problems are our problems. And the Utroms didn't give us this new life just for you to use it to kill Karai, they did it so we'd all have the chance at something _better_ than revenge and fighting and hiding all the time. I don't know what your destiny is or whatever; that's what you're gonna find out. But I know what it isn't, and it's not to just kill Karai and play clean up." I shook my head, mad that he'd even think something like that. "Look, Leo, if you were just meant to kill off our enemies, you'd be someone like Bishop or Draco. You wouldn't be good at teaching, or helping people, or listening; you'd just be good at killing people. Okay?"

Leo blinked at me a few times, his eyes wide. "Okay."

"If your destiny is anything, it's to grow old and be all wise and be the next Mr. Miyagi to a bunch of people, and then get all fat and philosophical and sit around on the front porch of a cabin somewhere playing _go_ with Donnie while Raph and I have wheelchair races around the front yard and throw our backs out trying to do wheelies in our power scooters. Got it?"

Leo's face went soft, and he smiled slightly. "Got it," he said quietly, leaning forward to butt his forehead against mine gently. "That sounds like a good destiny."

It was a total Leo thing to say, "thank you" and "I'm sorry" all wrapped into one. I didn't really know how to say "you're welcome" and "don't make me yell at you again" easily, not without just coming out and saying it, so I just bonked my head back against his. I was still trying to figure it out when someone knocked on the door, and Raph's timing was actually perfect for once, 'cause I hadn't really known what to say next that wasn't gonna be way too sappy for both of us. "You ready for the war meeting?" I asked awkwardly, grinning at Leo before I dropped the washcloth back over his eyes.

He groaned slightly, though his mouth was still turned up slightly at the corner. "Only if everyone whispers the entire time."

"No promises, but I'll do my best." I opened the door and nabbed Klunk before he could slip out into the hallway.

However much Leo had had to drink, Raph obviously hadn't had nearly as much, or it was just a matter of him holding his liquor better, 'cause he only looked a little tired. He glanced over my shoulder to see Leo on the couch and grinned a little. "How's he doin'?"

"What, is Leo sick?" Don asked, dropping his nerd bag by the door. He frowned and looked around. "Why are all the lights off?"

I glanced at Raph, raising an eyebrow, and he just shrugged. He must not have told Don about his and Leo's escapades last night, just about what Leo had found out. That was cool of him. "Headache," I offered smoothly. "He's already mentioned killing himself three times this morning."

"That's got to be a record." Don slipped past to hover over Leo. "How're you doing, bro?"

Leo just grunted.

"Anything I can do for you?"

"Get me my swords."

Don rolled his eyes. "Anything that won't result in stains all over my work clothes?"

Leo sighed like he was actually disappointed. "Rewet my washcloth?"

"Coming right up." He lifted it off Leo's face and headed for the kitchen. I heard him rustle around for a second before he made a classic exasperated Donnie noise.

"Is this actually _duct tape_ on the light switches?"

I snickered.

Raph grabbed a chair, poked Leo slightly in the knee until he snarled tiredly, then sat back with a grin. "Feelin' any better?" he asked seriously.

Leo rolled his head towards Raph. "A little," he answered, his voice quiet. "Mikey's been helping with giving me some ideas for the long term."

I grinned to myself. Raph turned to glance at me with a considering look on his face, then looked back at Leo. "Good. An' the rest of it?"

"It'll take a while," Leo said softly.

I didn't know what all they had talked about last night, and I figured it was better to pretend I didn't hear anything, so I leaned over and dropped Klunk gently back in Leo's lap. The little guy promptly curled up in a ball and started purring. I figure cat therapy is good for everyone, no matter what ails ya.

Don draped the washcloth back over Leo's eyes and sat down carefully on the couch. I joined him, and we all just kind of looked at each other and Leo. We'd had tons of powwows before, mission briefings and stuff, but Leo had always had things pretty much planned down to the second. Plus we'd never really tried to plan for something that didn't have any obvious (good) options.

I was kinda glad we only had an hour to talk.

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**Donatello**

I tried to remember the list of arguments and key points I'd worked on since Raph had told me the news about Karai this morning, but considering they all sounded the same and were equally unhelpful, it was hard to keep track. If I was this turned around, it was no wonder Leo had a raging headache.

We all waited for a minute for someone to talk before Leo sighed quietly and cleared his throat. "So. We all know the situation, right?" Mikey, Raph and I all nodded at Leo's pause, and he kept going like he had seen it, or at least heard the movement. "Okay. So far, the only option I can see is to wait things out. I know it's not a popular one," he said quickly, somehow just as I opened my mouth, "but it's the only one I have. Acting against Karai could draw attention we can't afford. If we wait as things are now, I can try and keep tabs on the situation through Seiichi-san. I don't like trusting to hope that Karai will lose her company and go back to Japan, but it's the only option I can think of. If anyone else has another idea, I'd be glad to hear it."

Raph and Mikey glanced at me out of the corners of their eyes, and I shook my head in frustration. The simple truth was that I _didn't_ have a better idea.

Not yet, anyway.

"What about Ryu?" Mikey asked suddenly.

The pinched look crept across Leo's face again, and I wondered if it was possible to die from headache-overload. Keeping track of the movements of the Purple Dragons, Bishop, Karai and the Foot hadn't driven Leo insane when we were turtles, but it looked like trying to balance the Foot, a Foot defector of unknown allegiance that knew we were humans, and our new lives, was going to push him over the edge. "What about him?" he asked.

"We could ask him if he knows anything," Mikey pointed out.

Leo shook his head carefully. "He was fairly adamant about not getting involved on our behalf, Mikey. I don't know how much help he'd be."

"It's worth a shot, though," I said slowly. "What we need now is information; what Karai's doing, how much she knows, how the business deal is going." I tried to tamp down my frustration as much as possible; I didn't know how Leo and Mikey had managed to not only run into an ex-Foot member, but also directly into Karai's path, all in the span of a week. There had to be some kind of limit on how ludicrously bad our luck could be. "Mikey and I could go over and talk to them this afternoon."

Leo's mouth thinned. "I don't want—" He cut himself off and gave a small sigh. "I'm not—thrilled about the idea of him knowing what another one of us looks like as a human."

I held back the urge to pat Leo on the shoulder, recognizing that he was doing his best to tone down his instincts to order rather than ask. "Not thrilled" was obviously a massive understatement. "But Mikey and I are the best candidates. I'll know what to ask, and Mikey has the most connection to the three of them." I didn't add that we'd probably put Ryu at ease more than Leo's silent intensity would, knowing that he probably knew that himself.

None of us really had to go into any detail regarding Raph's version of diplomatic relations; the less said about that, the better.

"Even if it did end up being an issue, which I doubt it will be, we've still got Raph in reserve," Mikey pointed out. "Ryu doesn't know what he looks like yet."

"What'd you find out so far about 'im?" Raph asked me over his shoulder, getting up to press a fresh glass of water into Leo's hands and grinning at the weak thumbs-up Leo gave him.

I made a face. "Not much, honestly. Not even a parking ticket. He's been very careful to keep his head down, and I haven't even come across any reports about their apartment building in terms of suspicious figures dropping by, so he must have been telling the truth about being in limited contact with his old "comrades" that are still part of the Foot," I mused. "In terms of Chuck, he seems like the best example of an exemplary NYPD officer that I've seen in a while. Great service record: he served for eighteen years, was promoted several times, wounded a few times in active duty, and led a sting that ended up leading to the arrest of a fellow officer who was dirty."

"So we know he has a strong sense of right and wrong, even when it comes to his allies," Leo reiterated, his voice quiet but interested. His fingers tapped rhythmically up and down his glass, and he finally sighed, his mouth pulling to the side. "Like you said, Donnie, I guess it's at least worth a shot. I don't think Ryu will tell us anything concrete, but if we can get even a few details out of him, it'll help."

I nodded. I also planned to talk to Chuck while we were there; I needed to find out exactly what it would take to get New York's finest to go after Karai. The bugs my brothers had planted on the Foot they encountered in the sewers had given me a decent amount of information in terms of the movements and patrol schedule of the Foot, and a hefty amount of gossip, but I needed specifics about her system. Still, if I could find out from Chuck what it would take for them to get a warrant on Karai, I could have a better idea of how much more information I needed. If nothing else, I was resolved to start feeding the police tips on Foot patrols and back-door business deals that I knew were going down; given the types of people Karai probably dealt with, there was a decent chance that if a deal got broken up, they'd be willing to sell her out to keep their own skins out of prison.

"So we're just gonna sit on things an' see how they turn out?" Raph asked casually, his eyes on Leo. "See what we can figure out in the meantime?"

Leo's head turned unerringly towards Raph, even though he couldn't see anything. "Apparently," he said tiredly. "I just don't know. We can't move without compromising ourselves, but we have to do something so that this isn't just hanging over our heads. Saki was the head of the Foot, so now that he's gone, there's no one for Karai to answer to, so we don't have the option of hoping someone will call her back to Japan. To do anything, we need information and time…so, yeah, I guess we're just waiting."

You'd have had to be blind and deaf to miss the displeasure in Leo's voice and posture as he said that, but we all knew he was right. Even as much as I wanted to fly out and do _something_, I knew we had to be very, very careful. Leo was right about that.

What he wasn't right about was waiting and hoping that something would happen to force our hand or Karai's. Defense was a good offense, I knew that personally, but it was way too risky to try to win by letting an enemy corner us in order to draw them close enough for an attack. We couldn't attack head-on, but coming from an angle, from Karai's blind spot…that was something we could do. Something _I_ could do.

"Can you tell us what happened one more time, Leo?" I asked. "In terms of what you found out from Seiichi?"

Leo nodded and ran through it again, and given his memory for those kinds of situations, I was willing to bet it was pretty close to word-for-word. I told them what I'd heard so far from the bugs, especially in terms of the sewer patrols and the gossip about Karai and her behavior. We brainstormed a little more, but no one could really come up with any other plan, which had all of us more than a little frustrated.

"Alright, that's enough'a that," Raph said about half an hour later, standing up to crack his back. "We've got a plan for now, an' talkin' about it ain't gonna help us anymore 'till we find out somethin' else." He leaned over to swat Leo on the leg and scruff Mikey's hair in farewell. "We're headin' out. Stay out of trouble for at least a day, would ya?"

"Oh, that's rich, coming from you, Raphie," Mikey said, sticking out his tongue.

Leo just flapped a hand in Raph's direction. "I'm staying here and sleeping all day. I don't have any energy left for trouble." He turned his head to the side like he was trying to look at me and Mikey. "Be careful tonight?"

I smiled slightly at the question and the way Leo was trying to hide the fact that it was really an order. "We will be. We can call you when we get there and leave, and Mikey can fill you in on what we find out when he gets home."

"Deal. Have a good day at work."

Raph and I waved as we headed out. Thankfully we hadn't taken as long as we'd thought, so I had a bit more time to get to work than I'd expected to. I would have gladly taken longer if it would've meant that we could have figured out a real plan, other than just waiting, but it was what it was. Besides, there was still my hope of getting Karai arrested somehow; I just had to have more information before I could change things.

In the meantime, I was glad Leo had some downtime. I could hear him and Mikey talking quietly just before I closed the door.

"Hey, Leo?"

"Hm?"

"…I actually really do want those popsicles now."

"Then go get them. Your legs aren't broken."

"But you promised!"

"Did not. All I did was ask."

Mikey spluttered. "What! But you…" There was a big, Mikey-original sigh. "Fine. Want me to get you a box on the way home too?"

"…Sure."

I pulled the door shut with a click. I was fairly sure I didn't need to know what that was about.

I didn't remember much of work that day. Even though everything about our life was still new, a routine is a routine; even after just a little while at my new job, it was easy to fall into the same autopilot zone I fell into at home. It was the same stuff every day, usually the same kinds of problems, too: slow computers, out of RAM, an old fan was breaking down…stuff I'd known how to fix years ago. The only things that changed were the people I saw and the places I went, and it was comforting, almost like doing chores back home at the Lair; I could do my work and let my brain run in the background, cataloguing projects, making lists of things I needed, trying to put up mental notes for myself to remember to do one thing or another.

That day, though, the only list I was working on was a list of questions for Ryu.

I was willing to bet Leo was right, that we wouldn't get much out of him, so I'd made a list of all the questions I wanted to ask, and spent the day whittling it down in my brain, crossing off ones I was pretty sure I could answer myself or at least make accurate guesses about. Unfortunately, it all came down to specifics, which I was pretty sure Ryu wouldn't be willing to give us; how many Foot soldiers were left, when were Karai's next deals going to go down, how could I access her system…

It was frustrating, but at least it made the day go quickly.

I met Mikey out in front of the gaming company that afternoon, glad I'd taken the time to change my shirt; I didn't mind my job, but I'd gotten more than a little sick of the smiles everyone tried to smother when they saw the Geek Squad car and the company uniform. The slacks I could pull off, but, as I was learning, people just couldn't get past the shirt.

And there were limits to the amount of surreal ridiculousness I was willing to put up with in my life, and going to go meet an ex-Foot soldier and an ex-police officer in a Geek Squad shirt was way past that limit.

A quick run of shave-and-a-haircut was thumped on the roof of my car, and then Mikey was yanking open the door to slide inside. "Man, how many people get to be picked up in a car as cool as this?" he asked with a grin, making a show of leaning back and relaxing. Or trying to, at least; Bugs aren't made for lounging or leg room.

"You should be glad I didn't make you walk," I muttered as I pulled out into traffic, pretty much immune to sibling abuse after so many years. "Now put on your seatbelt."

"Yes, Mom," Mikey said in a singsong tone, rolling his eyes as he snapped his belt into place.

That immediately killed the question on my tongue, which I would never admit had been "so how was your day?"

Fortunately, it was Mikey, so whatever awkward silence there might have been didn't last long. "So, busy day of wooing the ladies with your computer skills and snazzy outfit?" He did a double-take at his own words. "Where is the snazzy outfit? I recognize the power pants, but…"

I groaned. Dogs and bones had nothing on Mikey when he sensed that something had brotherly-abuse potential. "I changed shirts, alright? I didn't think it'd really be appropriate for where we're going."

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Mikey's grin dial back a couple notches. "You sound like we're going into battle, Donnie."

I couldn't exactly deny that that was sort of how I felt; we might not be headed anywhere dangerous, but it was hard to think of the apartment of an ex-Foot soldier and an ex-police officer as somewhere particularly nonthreatening, either. But I could tell Mikey liked Ryan and Chuck, and given his capacity for making friends and forgiving people, maybe even Ryu, so I wasn't going to say all of that.

Mikey sighed. "They're not bad guys, Donnie, either of them."

Okay, maybe I was going to say a little. "I'm not saying they are, Mikey, it's just…Leo was probably uneasy about this for a reason."

"Leo's uneasy about sidewalks, Don. And keep it in perspective; I was all alone with them and injured the first time I went, and neither one of them went all "Deliverance" on me or tried to do arts and crafts with my internal organs, so we at least know they're not garden-variety psychos. And Ryu didn't go Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon on me _or_ Leo when he found out who we were, and you know as well as I do that for the Foot, Leo's kind of the Holy Grail of people to kill," Mikey pointed out, somehow managing, as always, to sound serious around a dozen movie references. "If he was still loyal to the Foot, he would've tried; I mean, shell, every single one that we come across tries to kill us, it's like a compulsion. Even when they know it's gonna end badly for them, they still try. Ryu could've lobbed dishes at my head or gone for the cooking knives, but he didn't."

I tried not to channel Leo and point out that he could've just been lulling them into a false sense of security, because I wasn't as good at the paranoia as Leo was…or at least, I wasn't as good at keeping the resulting ulcers at bay, so I tended to steer away from it in general. And Mikey did have a point. "I hope you're right."

"I am. Besides, you said yourself that Chuck's a good guy. And I called them and asked if we could come over, and they said yes, even after I told 'em why, which I think kind of proves that they're on our side. Or at least rooting for our side."

"I know. I just—I just don't like that we're getting involved with someone so closely related to the Foot. It's not safe, and with our luck, it's just asking for trouble." I felt bad about not telling my brothers about the hacking and the viruses—even though there wasn't really anything to tell, so far—so I figured I could at least make it up to them by being honest about everything else. And really, I wasn't nervous about Ryu so much as I was annoyed by the fact that it seemed like every new thing was another connection to the Foot, even here.

Mikey blew out a breath, bangs flapping slightly against his forehead. "Trouble's never waited for us to ask for it in the past, Donnie, and of all the things that could set everything off, I don't think this'll do it. And we need to know if there's anything Ryu can tell us about what's going on at Foot HQ."

And we did. And in the end, that was what decided it, which is why we were heading to their apartment in the first place. "Yeah, we do," I agreed grimly.

Mikey glanced over at me, his eyebrows slightly raised. "You okay?"

"I'm frustrated, Mikey. Aren't you? I mean, barely two months into our new lives, hiding in plain sight and right in the middle of more normal than we've ever had in our lives before, and the Foot is _right there_ again. Leo's job connects him to Karai, you managed to find the one kid in the city living with an ex-Foot soldier…" I thumped the steering wheel, trying not to swear as I turned onto the right street. "It's just not reasonable. It's like…"

"Like it's destiny?"

I gaped at him for a second, the back half of the car still hanging out in the street as I tried to park. "What?"

"That's what Leo said. That maybe that's why we can't get away."

"No. It's not. We just—" I didn't know what we'd done wrong. We hadn't tried hard enough, or hadn't run far enough, or—or maybe there wasn't anything else we could've done differently, other than leave the whole state, and that was so _frustrating_. "It's not destiny," I repeated firmly.

"That's what I said," Mikey replied quietly, his voice certain.

Judging by the look on his face, he didn't have much hope of Leo listening to him, and well, it did sound like a Leo thing to say, even if he was wrong. "At least someone was there to tell him he's being stupid," I said firmly, parking the car and turning off the engine.

Mikey grinned slightly, and I felt my shoulders relax a little. "You can always count on me for that, Donnie."

"Don't I know it. Now come on, let's head in; sooner we get this done, the sooner we can get home and spare Leo another ulcer."

"You really think he has room for another one?" Mikey asked.

I considered that for a second. "Probably not."

We paused outside the building long enough for Mikey to send a quick text to Leo letting him know we were there. As soon as he was done, Mikey thumped me on the shoulder and slid around me, leading the way up the stairs and down the hall to rap a little cadence on one of the apartment doors. Hardly half a minute later, the door opened to reveal a slim Japanese man about our height, and I blinked in surprise; it was obvious this was Ryu, since I'd seen pictures of Chuck online, but he wasn't what I'd been expecting. For some reason, I suppose I'd expected someone who looked—well, shady, at least, not a mild-looking man who inexplicably gave off the silent impression that he'd make a good school counselor.

But then again, none of us looked like ninja turtles turned human, so obviously you couldn't judge by looks.

"Michelangelo, hello," Ryu said warmly, actually looking glad to see him. He glanced over at me, then back at Mikey. "How have you been?"

"Not bad. This is Don."

We nodded at each other. "Donatello. It's…good to meet you under better circumstances."

Well, that was certainly urbane. "You too. And Don's fine, really." Sensei was the only one who called us by our full names, with the exception of Leo when he was in a bad or worried mood.

"Don, then." He stepped back and waved us inside, and I followed Mikey in taking a seat on the couch. It was completely surreal, sitting down like we were there for a neighborly chat, rather than to grill Ryu about the evil crime syndicate he used to be a part of.

I really wondered what normal was like, but at the rate things were going, I wasn't ever going to find out.

A tall, middle-aged man as broad as Casey stepped out from one of the bedrooms, pausing slightly upon seeing us before joining the party. "Mike, it's good to see you again. And this is…?"

"Don," I offered along with a handshake. "Chuck, right?" I couldn't help idle surprise at the fact that he obviously wanted to know what was going on, wanted to be involved, and that Ryu had told him everything. But on the other hand, it was good to know that there were other people like April and Casey in the world.

"Right. It's good to meet you." He took a seat as well, and we all kind of waited to see who would break the silence.

Just before it started to get really awkward, Ryu stepped up, clearing his throat slightly and glancing at Mikey. "So at the risk of sounding threatening, I have to ask—does your brother know you're here?"

"Which one?"

Ryu raised an eyebrow, his expression sardonic. "I think you know which one."

Mikey grinned. "Yeah, he knows. He wasn't happy about it, but…we need information."

Ryu sighed. "Ah." He nodded slowly, his hand creeping up to knead the back of his neck. "I did warn you before that I can't tell you much without putting those I know in the Foot in danger; I can offer general information, but not much in the way of specifics."

"We understand that," I offered. I did understand, even if I was frustrated by it; an ex-Foot member should have been a great source, but I could understand his fear for his friends. It's not like it wasn't warranted; Karai obviously didn't believe the whole "innocent until proven guilty" point-of-view. "Maybe you could just tell us what you can, and then we'll just…ask you some questions. You can answer them as much as you can, or not at all."

He nodded. Chuck glanced between us and spoke up carefully, like he thought he was intruding. "Would it be better if I wasn't here?"

"Depends, can you still arrest people?" Mikey joked.

I glared at him as Chuck laughed. "Sorry, but no, I can't."

"Then we're good."

Oh right, that wasn't going to make what we were trying to do sound completely illegal _at all_.

"So what can you tell us?" I asked Ryu, wanting to get things moving before Mikey said anything else.

Ryu let out a breath, looking like he was bracing himself. He gazed at the floor for a couple minutes, obviously weighing what he could and couldn't tell us. "Karai's business isn't doing very well currently; to be exact, it's never really recovered after the damage done when the—demon Shredder attacked," he said awkwardly, like the words were too weird to say casually.

I wondered what it was like to encounter things that fell into the category of "too weird to believe." It was probably nice. Our lives had never existed anywhere other than right in the middle of that category.

"As a result, it has been floundering for a while," Ryu continued.

I nodded. "I've seen some of the old stories online about their stocks, and we already know that Karai's in business talks with another company about selling."

"You do?" Ryu's surprise was obvious, and I realized it must be something Karai was keeping close to the chest, even from her forces. Was her hold on them that shaky? Or was it just more arrogance, more of that "you are not fit to question me" crap both of the Shredders were so fond of?

"Leo told us," Mikey offered. "A friend of his mentioned it the other day."

"I see. Well, yes, she is looking to sell, though not willingly; it's just the only thing she can do at this point." His eyes were troubled when he looked at us. "It will not be good for you if she has nothing to distract her from her pursuit of you."

"Understatement," Mikey agreed, his mouth pulled to the side in a grimace. "I'm not big on the idea of Karai tuned into the Turtle Channel 24/7; it's bad enough dealing with her at night." He tilted his head. "Speaking of, how much _is_ she focused on us these days?"

Ryu's eyebrows crept upwards. "Do you want the tactful version, or the truth?"

"Truth," Mikey replied instantly. "Tact is overrated."

"You sound like Raph, and that's not a compliment," I informed him.

Ryu blew out a deep breath. "She is obsessed."

Mikey and I sat and waited for more, but it seemed like that was it. "And…?" Mikey drew the word out leadingly.

"I know this is probably not news to you, but it is becoming more serious. She blames you for much of what has happened."

Of course she did. I shook my head while Mikey rolled his eyes. "She blames us. Here's my surprised face," he quipped, schooling his features into a completely blank, unsurprised mask.

Chuck snorted helplessly, waving a hand apologetically. "Sorry. You just—definitely look surprised."

"That's cause I am!" Mikey replied brightly, his face still bland and bored. "Never saw it coming."

I took a page from Raph's book, much as it pained me to do so, and swatted him in the back of the head. "How serious is serious?" I asked Ryu. "Because much as we all hate to encourage Mikey in any way—"

"Hey!"

"—he's got a point; that isn't news to us," I finished. "Karai's blamed us, especially Leo, for what happened to her father for years."

Ryu nodded. "That is true, but the amount of manpower she's been willing to commit to hunting you down has grown significantly over the past months. She now has most of her forces looking for you each night, cover the sewers and the city; only the absolute minimum are being kept behind for jobs or guard duty."

Okay, _that_ was news, and bad news, at that. If Karai was searching for us every night, she'd be covering territory pretty quickly. The sewers were vast, but she'd still be making a significant dent by searching every night. Theoretically it'd be possible for her to cover the entire sewer system, eventually, and once she had…it'd probably be just like Leo said. With one lead gone, she'd go for the only other lead she had: Casey and April.

So now we were on a deadline as well as being hunted. Fantastic.

"Okay." I almost asked him how much they'd covered so far, but there was no way he could know; we'd created a map of the sewers ourselves, adding to it and expanding it over the years as we grew older and wandered farther, and it'd become something massive. There was no way for outsiders with old city maintenance maps to know exactly how much more they had to cover. I could take another look at our maps and make estimates on their process and how long it would take them to finish, but I needed specifics. "How long have they been searching the sewers?"

"They have never really stopped," he said quietly, and wasn't _that_ a lovely thought. "But if you mean at their current level of determination…about two months."

"Just since we 'disappeared,'" Mikey commented slowly. He glanced over at me. "It tipped her off, just like Leo said."

I nodded, not trusting myself to _not_ blow up in my frustration. Leo's guesses about Karai and the Foot had saved our shells way more times than I could count, but this was one time that I really would've been okay with him being wrong. Dammit. I sighed and turned to Chuck. "I have a few questions for you now."

He blinked in surprise, glancing between me and Ryu, but nodded slowly. "I'll help if I can."

"What would it take to get Karai arrested?"

Chuck's brows pulled down in a frown, confusion evident in his face. "The same things it would take to get anyone arrested."

I had a feeling my answering smile was more than a little cynical. "I doubt that. People with power are in their own sphere, and there's always a different kind of consideration for them. Rules are bent, certain things are overlooked…that's just how it is. Besides, Karai's not the type of person to get caught shoplifting or mugging someone or trespassing; the little crimes aren't going to help us. And if she was to go after someone, well..." I glanced over at Mikey, and though he'd looked surprised at my question, he gave a small smile; we knew how ninjas operated and dealt with enemies. "You wouldn't find her standing over the body," I said blandly. "Depending on who it was, you might not find the body at all."

Chuck's frown deepened, and I realized it probably bothered him that we were so seemingly blasé about murder, and that we didn't think the police were going to ever do their job and hold Karai to the same laws as everyone else. But if he'd been living with Ryu and knew his past, he had to know that we were right.

"Anyway, since we're not likely to be so lucky as to have her suddenly develop a conscience, we'll have to go about it another way," I said casually. "Like I said, petty crimes are out of the question; she'd never stoop to doing her own dirty work, and I'm pretty sure we're the only ones she'd go out of her way to deal with personally. So what I need to know is what kinds of missteps she'd have to make in the business world to get arrested, and what kind of proof we'd need to back up those allegations."

"Are you trying to set her up? Fabricate a case against her?" Chuck asked slowly.

I could tell he was fighting between old police instincts and the knowledge of what kind of person Karai really was. "I don't need to 'fabricate' anything; trust me, she gives us plenty to work with," I said wryly. Nothing that'd I'd found yet, in terms of her files or business records, but I'd find it eventually. "I have...sources among her associates, and I'm hearing plenty from them. I just need to know what I should look and listen for and what isn't good enough."

It was Ryu's turn to frown. "I don't know of anyone who would be an informant for you, especially given that you'd either have to introduce yourself as a stranger or one of their enemies."

I just shrugged mildly. Those of Karai's flunkies that I'd bugged still counted as informants even if they didn't know that they were.

Chuck rubbed his forehead. "I hope you're not implying that you're spying on anyone."

"I'm not implying anything. You're the one jumping to conclusions."

"Of course," he drawled sarcastically. "You're making me very glad I'm not an officer anymore."

I shrugged again. "Look at it this way: can you really violate the rights of someone who, according to public record, doesn't exist?"

Ryu shook his head, a rueful smile tugging at his mouth. He probably knew very well that there were likely no records of any of the Foot ninja anywhere but within Karai's system, and as such, there was no one who could or would complain. It's hard to _not_ get away with spying on someone who, to the general public, doesn't exist, and I doubted any of the Foot would admit to being bugged at the risk of facing Karai's anger.

Chuck laced his hands together in front of his mouth and stared at us quietly for a few long minutes, and I realized what a gamble this really was. While he didn't have any police authority any more, he probably still had connections that he could send after us, and from what I'd seen of his record, he was the kind of person who sought to make sure everyone followed the law, even if they were thinking of bending it for a good cause, like we were.

But I'd been careful about what I'd said, and he had no proof that I was spying on anyone, and no way to prove it even if he wanted to. I just had to hope that his obvious dedication to bringing people to justice would outweigh his suspicions that we probably weren't going to be toeing the line to get dirt on Karai.

Besides, as far as I knew, it wasn't illegal to send viruses to someone. Hacking into their systems, well, that probably _was_ illegal, but since I hadn't gotten past Karai's security (yet), that was a moot point so far. It was just a matter of time, though.

All I needed from Chuck was something to aim for.

* * *

**Chuck Masters**

I'd never expected situations like this to fall into after I'd left the force. Certainly not ones of this particular degree of absurdity.

To be fair, I'd known there was the potential for danger. Given what Ryu had told me about his past, unbelievable as it was, I knew there was a chance things could catch up with him, that Ryan and I might get involved as well.

But this was a whole new level of dangerously involved. Somehow I was sitting in my living room talking to two young men who, according to Ryu, had been _humanoid turtles_ of all things just a few months ago. Ninja turtles, who were the next generation of some sort of ninja blood feud that Ryu had been caught up in with the Foot. Turtles who were now very obviously human and sitting in my living room and asking me how to send someone to jail.

If I'd ever been a drinking man, this would've sent me running for the bottle. But I liked to think that I was a just man, and if what Ryu had told me was true, and if the emotions behind Mike and Don's words were true, then Karai was exactly the kind of person I should want to see behind bars.

I sighed and shook my head, dropping my hands in my lap. "You'd need concrete evidence, though I'm sure you know that already," I said reluctantly. "In terms of what, exactly…it could be anything. Proof of extortion, racketeering, bribery, failure to comply with safety or employee/employer laws, blackmail…"

"Dealing on the black market?"

I shrugged. "Possibly, though you'd be hard-pressed to get that to stick; any lawyer worth their law degree knows how to argue down things like that, calling it unregistered deals or private transactions with personal contacts or anything of the like." I pursed my lips, biting back the urge to try and talk them out of it, to lecture on how foolhardy and close to illegal this was. "What you're trying to do…it's not safe." Okay, maybe just a small attempt to talk them out of it.

Mike snorted loudly like he was trying to hold back laughter. "Not _safe_? Dude, our lives haven't been safe since we were fifteen. 'Not safe' has kinda lost its effectiveness as a warning."

"For you, perhaps," Ryu said quietly. "But my comrades still in the Foot…they still think safety is something to take into consideration."

"It's not like I'd be incriminating anyone," Don pointed out. "Karai's not going to know where I got the information from. And besides, if it's a matter of records, well, provided Chapman still has some semblance of skill with computers, he'd be able to tell her that it's no one's fault."

I kneaded at the twinge building up at the bridge of my nose. Tension headaches: something else I hadn't really missed from my time on the force. "Could you try not to talk about breaking the law right in front of me?" I asked whimsically. "I might not have a badge any more, but I do still have the duty to report people colluding to break laws."

"And what exactly would you report?" Don asked quietly, and for such a collected, gentle-seeming person, there was a world of steel behind his words. "I haven't said that I've done anything; I've made oblique comments that you've been interpreting as you like. But even if I had done something, how would you prove it? You'd never find anything on my computer, and I can guarantee you that Karai would never let you within five feet of any of her systems to check for break-ins."

Judging by the way Mike's mouth was hanging open, this was rare behavior from Don. Still, I could respect it, even if I didn't like it; he was testing me, pushing for confirmation of what I could and couldn't do, and checking whether I was really willing to help. I had no doubt that if I responded the wrong way, we'd never see any of them again. I just wish this was more clear-cut, and less dependent on Don and his brothers bending the rules. "You're right, I can't prove anything. But if you find your information the way I think you're planning to, you'll prove it for me. I know better than you that you need proof to bring Karai down, but keep in mind that if you do get it and take it to the authorities, they're going to want to know how you got it. And if your explanation includes the breaking of any laws, it won't gain you anything; you'll be the one under scrutiny. You should remember that."

Some of the steel in Don's face was replaced by frustration, and even a hint of embarrassment. "I will."

I had no doubt he would. Something told me that nothing that went into Don's brain ever disappeared.

Ryu sighed and shook his head, his frame tight with frustration. "This is not a good plan."

Mike's brows lowered a fraction. "It's the only one we have, unless you can come up with a better one," he pointed out, his voice a little harder than it was.

Ryu eased back slightly. "I'm merely pointing out that if you're going to take the fight to Karai, you have to do it in a way that will work."

"What do you think we're doing?" Don asked sharply.

"Something like this isn't—"

"I know perfectly well what it is and isn't," Don retorted, looking older than his years. "We all do. And seeing as how you're not doing anything, not risking anything, I don't think you have the right to lecture us at all. We're doing what we can. We can't openly walk in and attack Karai or we risk our lives, both literally and in terms of this new chance that we have. So we're doing what we can. We're trying to live as humans, and trying to have her dealt with in terms of human justice, rather than clan justice. But when the police won't pursue anything, this is really the only avenue we have left."

_That_ got my attention, and it rankled, too. "What do you mean, the police won't pursue anything?"

The looks Don and Mike gave me were old and resigned. "I mean what I said. Tell me, how much of an investigation was there into Oroku Saki after the debacle at his dinner party?"

I opened my mouth to reply, then wilted slightly. "I never heard of one."

"Exactly. The press ate it up, the tabloids had a field day with it, but after Karai got out of jail, she was allowed to just waltz right back to her company, with absolutely no repercussions." Don shook his head, one hand creeping up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "So you'd better believe that we're going to make sure that there's so much pinned on her this time that there's no way for her to get out of it, not even if Houdini was her damn lawyer."

"So basically, your plan is to get her arrested, then assume she'll be harmless once she's in jail?" Ryu asked, and I could tell from the way his accent was growing sharper that he was getting frustrated. "What you don't seem to realize is that she is willing abandon _everything_ in the pursuit of killing you and your brothers, even her father's business. She knows that Saki would do the same, and then build the company back up over your graves. She'd wait, however many years in jail they gave her, and then pick up right where she left off."

Mike's jaw ticked. "You think we don't know that? That's what this is all about: not just knocking her out of power, but taking care of her for good. It's about making sure her reputation is so ruined that even if she does get out again, there won't be anything left for her in New York. It's about putting her in jail, where hopefully there's at least a decent chance that they can keep her there." He gestured at Ryu. "Unless you can think of a better idea."

"Leave it alone. Let her ruin herself and save you the trouble."

"And then she has nothing to focus on but us," Mikey countered. "You said that yourself."

"Then let her waste her time looking for you in the sewers—"

"The sewers end eventually, Ryu." Don's voice was sharp and impatient as he interrupted. "Trust us. And when they do, she'll go after the people she knows are connected to us. Then we're just looking at another fight that no one will be able to explain to the police."

I shook my head, seeing the resignation mirrored in Ryu's face. They were right, there didn't seem to be a better option than this one.

"Then I wish you luck," Ryu finally said. "I don't think it's ideal, but I do see that it's the best option you have." He lifted his hand to his jaw, then dropped it. "If you were to go anywhere for late night walks during the week, try the warehouses by the river, east of the abandoned cannery," he said suddenly. "That's all the more that I can give you."

Don nodded. "Thanks. We'll keep that in mind." He glanced at Mike, something passing between them, and they both stood and moved for the door. Don paused on his way out, glancing at me and Ryu. "We do appreciate the help, it's just…you have to trust me when I say we've considered every other option. We appreciate your concern, too."

They probably did, not that it would change their minds at all. I nodded. "Be careful." I wanted to offer something else, and racked my brains for another option; what could I really give them? "I'll put some calls in to my old partners still on the force, and tell them to keep an eye on Karai's business deals," I added.

Mike blinked, then smiled slightly. "That'd help. Oh, and if they can, tell 'em to keep an eye on the buildings across from the Second Time Around antique shop; rumor has it that there have been some shady sorts spying on people from there."

Ryu grimaced, and I made the connection. If the Foot were there, Mike and his brothers' friends likely lived close by and were under surveillance. "I'll keep that in mind."

Don nodded gratefully and headed for the stairs, though Mike lingered for a second before turning back to Ryu. "I do have one more question. When we were here last time, you said that you weren't part of the attack on Leo. Were you telling the truth?"

I held my breath, knowing this was none of my business, and not something I should get involved in.

"You think I wasn't?" Ryu asked quietly.

"I want to make sure," Mike said, and the stony expression he had looked surreal on his cheerful features. "I mean, if you were part of it, it's not like you were gonna be stupid enough to say so in front of Leo."

Ryu laughed at that, surprising and confusing both of us. "But you think I'd be stupid enough to admit it to one of his brothers?" he asked dryly. "You're forgetting that everyone in the Foot is painfully familiar with how protective you all are of each other. Admitting something like that to you or one of the others would be infinitely worse than admitting it to Leonardo."

"You don't think Leo would want some payback for that?"

Ryu sobered, regarding him levelly. "I believe he would, but for what happened to him…there's no real way to get revenge for it, nothing that would equal what was done to him—unless he wanted to have his own hunt, and I don't believe him to have the temperament for that." He shrugged. "But you know him better than I do, so perhaps I'm wrong. And at the risk of you thinking that I'm trying to distract you, I will say again that I had no part in the hunt that was sent after your brother."

Mike nodded slowly, and couldn't help but notice the way Ryu's shoulder relaxed slightly. "Good." He nodded to both of us, thumping the doorjamb in farewell. "Thanks, really, and tell Ryan I said hi."

We watched as they disappeared down the stairs, and Ryu finally closed the door behind them. I glanced at him curiously. "You seemed fairly relieved by what Mike said," I noted casually.

Ryu nodded, heading back to the couch to sit down again, one hand at his temple. "I am. Of the four of them, Michelangelo isn't known for his ferocity, but his skill is undeniable, and not something you want to be the target of."

With how serious Mike had been this afternoon, it was a little easier to accept Ryu's words, but it was still hard to think of the smiling young man who'd teased Ryan as being a threat, much less a serious one. "What do you think they'll do?"

"Whatever they want," Ryu replied slowly, then made a face. "Whatever they feel they have to," he amended a second later. "While I still think it's a bad plan…I suppose it's not really my place to say anything. I was lucky; I had the perfect opportunity to escape. There's no neat option like that for them." A heavy sigh followed the words. "I'll have to tell my friends to do what they can to get out," he mused, his gaze and thoughts obviously miles away.

"You think it'll come to a battle?" I wondered if Mike and his brothers didn't prefer that, maybe, the neatness of dealing with things themselves rather than trying to find a way to get the police to deal with a problem they didn't even know existed.

"It always does," Ryu said tiredly. "And I know that I can't ask Michelangelo and his brothers to spare my friends if it comes down to a fight between them…as if they could even pick my allies out from dozens of identical warriors."

I didn't say anything, but I agreed with him. I hadn't missed Donatello's bland smiles or the way Michelangelo's eyes slid away from Ryu's whenever he'd mentioned his allies. They were obviously not as worried about Ryu's friends as he was, and I couldn't say that I blamed them. It was hard to care about enemies, and if I was honest with myself, I could admit that I was more inclined to take their side in things; I knew I didn't understand the intricacies of clan life, or how Ryu's allies had entered the Foot, but I couldn't help thinking that if they really opposed it so much, they would have found a way out by now. There weren't any easy answers in a situation like this, but I did know that Mike and his brothers deserved better than to be hunted down their whole lives.

"So, what did you think of them?" Ryu asked, his voice wry as he looked at me sidelong.

I huffed out what was supposed to be a laugh but ended up sounding a lot like a groan too. "They're…something." They were a lot of things. Young, primarily; too young to have gone through everything Ryu had said—and that being only the things he knew about. Old, in other ways, strong and stubborn and unbelievably in sync and a certifiable threat all by themselves.

"Wait until you meet the older ones," he muttered.

"I've already met Leonardo," I pointed out.

Ryu snorted unexpectedly. "Not on a bad day, you haven't."

I thought about the cool politeness I'd seen in the brief minute the first time we'd met, when Leo had come to pick up Mike, and the muffled snatches of steely words I'd heard from the other room the second time. He was overprotective, obviously, and guarded around strangers, but still. "He doesn't seem the type," I said, baffled.

"The type to what?"

"To be…whatever you're implying," I said with a wave. "Aggressive or dangerous, whatever it is you're getting at."

There was no way to pinpoint the expression on Ryu's face. "He's more the type than most officers you've ever served beside," he said in reply.

Apparently being with ninjas brought out the cryptic in people, because Ryu hadn't been this indecipherable in a while. "And Raphael?"

Ryu winced. "All he has are bad days," he said dryly.

Well, that didn't bode well. "Can you beat them?" I asked curiously, unable to help it. They were all so unusual, so unpredictable, and I was trying to get some kind of a handle on them and where they ranked.

"No," he answered, and the complete lack of hesitation in his response was telling. I'd sparred with Ryu soon after we first met, mostly out of morbid curiosity, and had found myself completely outclassed—and I had years of combat experience under my belt.

"Not even one-on-one?"

He shook his head. "No. Chuck, Foot soldiers…we are recruited during our adolescence, sometimes younger, sometimes older. I myself had several years of experience to my name when I first met the four of them, and I trained and sparred daily and was considered skilled among the clan. And I never beat any of them, Michelangelo or his brothers. As far as we know, they have lived combat from their youth. There's no way to counter that kind of experience, being raised to the arts and living them all your life."

Children as warriors. It was both intriguing and revolting, and also chilling, to hear Ryu talking with such caution about young men half my age. "Do you think they'll succeed?"

Ryu sighed quietly, tiredly. "I don't know. For their sake, I hope that they do. There is a great deal more on the line for them now. Beyond that, Donatello obviously has something planned, something he's waiting to set into motion if he hasn't already, and they are…impressive strategists."

"How impressive?"

"I've pointed out the Foot building to you before; you remember how tall it is?" Ryu waited for me to nod. "Years ago, and after they recovered and regrouped after the attack on Leonardo, they attacked Foot headquarters in an attempt to end things. They managed to make it all the way to the Shredder's chambers without being killed, and that I know of, the only enemies who really delayed them were the Foot Mystics." His smile was rueful. "So could they do it, bring Karai down and get her arrested? Yes, I believe they could. Will that end things?" He shrugged. "I don't know. I doubt it."

I shook my head, frustrated and completely confused. "These kinds of things are never really over, are they?" I asked, glancing at him.

The expression on Ryu's face couldn't really be called a smile, because there wasn't anything happy about it at all.

"No, they never really are."

* * *

**Naomi**

I hesitated with my hand on the door's handle, half-convinced that it wasn't too late to just turn around and go home. But it wouldn't be right, I decided with a sigh. It'd disappoint Rae, because I hadn't seen her this gleeful about a guy in a while, and it wasn't fair to this mystery guy to just leave him hanging. I'd stick it out for half an hour and then beg off if necessary.

There wasn't any question of being optimistic; I was about five dates beyond the point of hoping to be pleasantly surprised.

The café was still more than half full, but at this time of the day it was fairly subdued. I glanced at the back wall and its row of chairs, then detoured to get a drink first; if nothing else, it'd at least be useful as a distraction. Five minutes later I had my drink and was officially late, so I slipped through the crowds to the back of the shop.

It didn't take long to spot a guy in a blue shirt sitting alone at one of the two-person tables, and I took a second to study him from behind. He had dark hair, and seemed tall, though that was always hard to judge when someone was sitting down. His back and shoulders were very broad; Rae obviously hadn't been kidding that he was muscled. I think what caught my eye the most, though, was the way one foot was jiggling up and down on the bar of his seat. It was comforting to realize that I might not be the only one who was uneasy or less than thrilled with this.

Having put it off long enough, I walked up to his side and cleared my throat slightly. "Hi, are you here because of Rae…?"

That dark head turned towards me, and my eyes flew open in surprise.

It was Leo.

An instant later, I could feel my teeth grinding against each other as everything clicked. _This_ was why Rae couldn't stop laughing when I'd told her about Leo, because she had already set us up. This must have been why my father had been so gleeful when he'd wished me a good evening before I left; she had to have told him too.

I was going to kill them both when I got home.

"Naomi? You're…" Leo hesitated. "I wasn't expecting you. Rae said her friend's name was Mimi."

I sighed, rubbing my forehead. "It's a nickname. Rae conveniently didn't mention your name to me at all."

"Ah. It looks like you got pranked." Leo tilted his head slightly to the side, his expression open. "If you want to leave, I understand. I know that this might make things weird, considering how often I'm at your father's dojo."

I shook my head, guilt pulling at me; I was being rude, especially since it wasn't Leo's fault that we were in this situation. "No, it's not that big of a deal. I just thought I had known Rae long enough to see things like this coming; I'm usually better about not letting her surprise me."

Leo's eyes crinkled suddenly in a smile. "If she's anything like my brothers—and from what I've seen so far, she is—then it doesn't matter how long you're on your guard, she'll always manage to find a way to pull off something you never even thought to expect. My brothers know I've seen all their tricks, and they welcome it as a challenge. Rae probably does the same, if you've been friends a long time."

It was one of the best descriptions of Rae I'd ever heard, and I couldn't help smiling back. He was right; Rae was incorrigible, but I loved her to death. "So I take it she made an impression at the bar?"

The smile faltered until it looked more pained than anything. "That's one way of putting it. She's definitely not the kind of person you forget."

"No, she isn't. Not safely, anyway. But she's one of the best friends I've ever had, however outrageous she can be. And as for staying, really, it's not that big of a deal. I'm glad to have the time away from my father, now that I know why he was laughing at me." My stomach dipped a little as another thought occurred to me. "Unless you... um..."

Leo raised his eyebrows, looking confused. "Unless I what?"

There was no way to ask this that _wasn't_ awkward, but I had to make sure we both knew where we stood. "Unless you were expecting this to be a date?"

A few seconds passed where Leo just blinked at me, then his eyes flew wide open. "Oh. No! I mean, not that I wouldn't want to, I just—" He groaned quietly and scraped a hand down his face. "This wasn't even my idea in the first place," he explained. "I came here expecting an excruciatingly awkward evening and not much else."

I laughed at the obvious chagrin in his voice. "I understand. Rae did mention that she'd pretty much shanghaied you into this."

"That is an understatement," Leo admitted. "It was a lot more like being steamrolled; when you're being shanghaied, you at least have a chance to fight back."

There was an oddly matter-of-fact tone to his words. "What, so you've been shanghaied before?" I asked jokingly.

He blinked, his mouth twitching partway into a smile for some reason. "Not more than once," he replied evasively, then shook his head. "Anyway, I expected this to be an awkward hour with a stranger, so this is actually a nice surprise."

I had to catch myself for a second before I asked him if that was supposed to be his attempt at a pick-up line, and looked at him again. On second thought, I thought that maybe the oddest part of the comment was that he'd said it perfectly seriously, like he meant it. "You're definitely not what I was expecting when I got here either," I offered honestly.

Leo's mouth twisted ruefully. "You're not the first person to say that."

I realized that I probably looked a little odd just hovering beside the table, so I set my coffee down and slid into a seat, glad to take the pressure off my feet. Rae had insisted I borrow a pair of her shoes, and while they weren't stilettos, they were still a fairly tall set of heels. "So. What precisely should we talk about on our not-date?"

His eyes narrowed thoughtfully, and I tried not to laugh as I realized he was taking the question seriously. It was no wonder Rae had thought he was adorable; his seriousness and tendency to miss when something was a joke were oddly endearing. It was strangely at odds from the collected restraint I'd seen in him at the dojo, and I couldn't help but comment on it. "You're not very comfortable outside of a dojo, are you?"

Surprise flashed across Leo's face, and I couldn't help flinching slightly as his hand tightened suddenly around his cup. He caught the movement and visibly relaxed, though his smile was a little strained. "It's that obvious?"

"Only a little," I offered carefully. What had I said wrong?

He sighed, his shoulders dropping slightly. "I'm not...built for the city, or socializing on the scale that New York requires," he said slowly, and I got the impression that he was picking every word very carefully. "But in a dojo...I was raised on martial arts, Naomi. It's the biggest part of my life, next to my family. And because I've had so much practice, and so many...opportunities to put those skills to use, I'm confident in them. I know exactly what will happen in the dojo, in terms of what I can do personally and in reaction to those around me. I have some control there. Out here..." Leo shrugged helplessly. "Well. I might as well try to control the weather."

I nodded slowly, remembering the way he handled himself in our dojo; it certainly spoke of years of experience. "You said you've had a lot of practice and opportunities to use your skills; have you been in a few competitions?"

That sharp hook of a smile tugged at his mouth again before he raised his cup to take a sip. "Just one large competition, really. Most of my experience comes from sparring."

"Mm. Yeah, I guess it'd be hard to get any real combat experience in a place like New York."

He coughed slightly, setting his coffee down. "One would think," he agreed hoarsely.

"So how long have you been practicing?"

Leo cleared his throat and glanced down, rotating his coffee cup thoughtfully. I looked down at his hands too, curious; they were large, long-fingered, and dappled with scars. Most were old, but there were still a surprising number of them. "Since we were...six?" The skin above his eyebrows puckered in a frown. "And a half, possibly. I know I was looking forward to the exact day for a long time, but it's been a few years since then. Our daily training didn't include weapons until we were almost eight, and those were just practice wooden weapons."

I couldn't picture any of the children I knew practicing anything daily at the age of six, let alone practicing martial arts. "That's so young. Why did your father teach you so early?"

"It was our heritage," Leo explained seriously, lifting his eyes to meet mine. "Our father adopted all four of us, me and my brothers. Blood ties aren't the definition of family, not to us; our dad gave us his name, and his...legacy. Our training...it's a part of our family history."

I propped my chin on my hand, just staring at him. Leo glanced up once he registered the silence and colored slightly to find me watching him. "What?"

I shook my head. "I never really hear people talk like that these days, with that kind of—" I searched for the right word. "That kind of passion, or solemnity. You sound a lot older than you look."

He blinked, and it was hard to tell whether the slow smile that crept across his face was mocking or sad. "I've never really been normal, and I had to grow up pretty quickly."

"Why?"

"I'm the oldest," he said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, his birthright. "Well, we don't actually know who's the oldest; all four of us were adopted, and we…never knew our birth parents."

"So you don't know you're the oldest? How'd you decide?" I asked curiously.

He laughed. "It wasn't exactly a decision; we never really sat down and established who was the oldest, it just kind of…fell into place. It was probably our personalities, I guess. Either way, I sort of became the…mediator between our father and my brothers."

What an odd way to put it. "Did they not get along with him?"

"No, we just—there's a disconnect, between the way kids adults think, you know? When my father had orders for us, I was usually the one who reminded my brothers of those orders when they wanted to run off and play instead."

I couldn't help a small frown. "That doesn't sound very fair. To you, I mean."

Leo looked taken aback, like he couldn't fathom me being offended on his behalf. "He needed help. Raising four kids, especially in the environment we were in…it was hard for him."

"Even if it was necessary, that doesn't mean it was fair. I mean, you deserved to be a kid too, didn't you?"

He tilted his head slightly, considering. "Yes, I suppose. I didn't resent him for it then, though."

"Not even once?"

His hesitation was obvious. "Occasionally," he allowed slowly. "But it never lasted very long. Now, though, I'm realizing…it wasn't ideal." He shifted under my stare. "What?"

I refused to let myself smile at his defensive tone. "I just think it's interesting that you were more okay with the situation as a kid, when we're generally only able to see what isn't fair, but now, when you're old enough to understand your dad's position, you're realizing you don't like how things were."

Leo's face went slightly blank, his expression bland. I bit my lip, realizing that maybe this was something I shouldn't be pushing about. "Sorry. It's none of my business."

He shook his head. "It's okay. I just…" He huffed a laugh. "I'm not used to people not knowing our situation. I guess…I guess as a kid, I was just caught up in doing as I was told, and I was proud that my father thought I could handle—the pressure."

I could tell there was a whole minefield of touchy points behind the issue, so I decided to give him a way out. "He's lucky you were such a good kid. My father maintains that I'm responsible for all of his gray hairs."

Leo relaxed slightly, his gratitude for the subject change obvious. "Somehow I doubt you were much of a handful."

"I wasn't. There were times when I wasn't sure which of us was the child. But still, I'm glad he's stayed that way. After my mother passed, I thought he'd just disappear. He...drifted for a while."

The empathy in Leo's face was deep. "When did she pass, if I can ask?"

"When I was ten. It was an accident."

He grimaced. "I'm sorry. That's much too young for that kind of loss."

"Mmm." I cast about for another topic that wouldn't press so hard on painful areas for either of us. "So, you never had any female influence in your house growing up? It must have been interesting."

Leo laughed, full and loud, and it was so startling that I couldn't help but smile. He should do it more often; it lit his face up, made him look his age. "That's one way of putting it. It was a nightmare, sometimes. Our father did his best when it came to teaching us manners, but with four boys...he learned to pick his battles." He chuckled, shaking his head at some private memory. "He also learned to bow out gracefully on some things."

"Do you regret it? Not having a mother?" I bit my lip as soon as the question was out. "I'm sorry, I..." I sat back, flustered; I should know better than to ask things like that, given my own past, but Leo...there were secrets in his face, and I couldn't help being curious.

He shook his head, reaching out absently to place a hand on my elbow just before I knocked over my coffee cup. "It's alright. It's an unusual situation, I can see why you'd be curious. I...hmm." His head tilted in thought as he reached out to place a napkin under my cup, just catching a drip, and I couldn't help but smile; it seemed such an eldest sibling thing to do. "I don't know. I have no idea what having a mother would be like, so I don't know what there is to miss. The closest I suppose we've ever had is April."

"April?"

"A family friend. Well, more family than just a friend. She's done...so much for us, more than we could ever repay, and loves us despite our—eccentricities." His expression was fond. "She's more like a sister than a mother—we were too old by the time we met her to really need any more parenting—but if she's what a mother is like...then maybe I would regret not having known a mother. I don't know; it's hard to miss something you've never had, and something you never really knew you supposedly needed." He shrugged. "It's not something I ever really thought about; we had enough to deal with most days, and I had all that I needed in my father and brothers. It didn't seem worth it to think about or wish for something I didn't need when I had enough already."

"Have you ever wished for something you didn't need, but just wanted? Something other than just the basics?"

Leo's eyes were contemplative. "Not with any real belief behind it. I...our life wasn't always easy. It was hard enough sometimes for us to have what we needed, and I didn't want to jinx things by pinning my hopes on things we just wanted."

"Keep your hopes low, and if something good happens, you'll be pleasantly surprised?"

He blinked, looking taken aback, but his mouth curved up into a crooked smile as his eyes drifted over my shoulder. "Yeah. Yeah, something like that, I guess." The mirth slipped from his face slowly until he was almost frowning, his expression guarded. "Naomi? Do you know those two, the women sitting behind you?"

I had to scramble to catch up with the non sequitur, but I turned around to glance behind me. Two girls my age, perhaps a year or two older, were sitting a few tables back. It took them a while to notice that I was watching them, and I bit back a smile when I realized why; they were too busy sneaking glances at Leo. When our eyes met, one of the girls flared red and slapped at her friend's arm. The two of them buried their noses in their drinks, paging through a magazine in front of them with jerky motions. I rolled my eyes and turned back around to see Leo still looking at me expectantly.

Apparently, I was actually going to have to break it to him, because he hadn't picked up on it on his own yet. "No, I don't." Now I just had to wait and see if he was slow or just really oblivious.

Leo frowned slightly, his eyes flitting back to them again. "Are you sure? They've been staring at our table for a while—" His mouth twisted suddenly, red staining his cheeks. "Oh." I couldn't fight a helpless smile as Leo slid down in his seat, his shoulders hitching up around his ears as he hunched over his coffee. A sullen "great" wafted up under his breath.

There was no helping it; I started laughing.

Leo got even redder, if possible, which didn't help at all. I pressed a hand against my mouth and tried to stifle myself, but every time I looked at his hangdog expression, I started all over again. Finally I just stared up at the ceiling and took the deepest breaths I could manage, until I could look at him again. The reproachful look on his face, combined with the fact that I could tell he'd shifted his chair so that I blocked him from the girls behind me, nearly started me off again, but I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek. "Sorry," I gasped out. I pressed a hand my stomach; it'd been ages since I'd laughed that hard with anyone but Rae. "I'm sorry, I just..."

He shook his head resignedly. "Not your fault," he muttered to his cup. "Apparently I'm just asking for it." A vague gesture towards his face made his point.

I took another deep breath and shrugged. "Well, you do stand out. Sorry. But it's not the end of the world. Most guys would be glad."

Leo met my eyes, and the look in his was wry and, as I was realizing was the norm for Leo, older than his years. "I'm not like most guys, Naomi."

It was a line I'd heard a million times in movies, a line the male leads always used to convince the female lead that he was different, was the exception to the bad past she'd had with guys. However it was used, it was always some kind of suave line, tossed off with an earnest look and too much charm.

But with Leo—for some reason, the way he said it, it sounded like a warning. And how odd was that, for someone to be warning others away? "In a good way or a bad way?" I asked curiously.

Leo opened his mouth to answer, then hesitated, looking bemused. "I don't know. Does different have to be either good or bad?"

Touché. It was my turn to be speechless, because he was right, wasn't he? "No. No, I guess it doesn't."

He smiled slightly, like I'd given the right answer. "I don't really know how to explain my kind of different for you, Naomi. I guess it depends on how you feel about surprises."

I raised one eyebrow. "I'm friends with Rae; by this point, I'm pretty much immune to surprise."

His smile widened a bit, but that wry hook was back at the corner of it. "I might have to test that at some point."

I raised my cup to take a sip, thinking and watching him. What was he hinting at? He'd been circling around my questions all night, and if it had been anyone else, I'd have said that he was trying to seem mysterious. But Leo, I was discovering, had no pretensions at all, and certainly no acting skills. And as for me, well, I had very little patience for mysteries. "Go ahead."

"Go ahead with what?" Leo asked carefully.

"Surprise me. What makes you so different?"

Leo breathed out a laugh. "Do you want a list?"

"Would you give me one if I said yes?" I countered. That guarded look crept back over his face, and I wished I'd said something else. "One thing," I said, backtracking hastily. Talking to him was like trying to break into a security system; do the wrong thing, push too far, and everything would shut down. "Tell me one thing that makes you different, and not something like you can cook or don't mind doing dishes."

A helpless smile spread across his face. "You don't ask for much, do you?" His gaze dropped to the table, those nimble fingers slowly turning and folding his napkin. It was so long before he spoke up that I was half afraid I'd pushed too far and he wasn't going to answer. "One thing that's different about me is that I don't put the same amount of importance on what's normal or conventional as everyone else in this world does…not that I really know what counts as 'normal' for most situations. People's unwillingness to break tradition, to step beyond what's normal and accept what might be unusual…I've dealt with that all my life. People view different as a threat, as though uniqueness is something contagious that will infect them and pull them out of the safety of being part of the crowd. These days, it seems like humanity has to be ordered to accept those who are different from them, and I just…I can't understand that."

I just stared at him for a minute. He was so completely serious and certain when he spoke, not with the arrogance or purposeful ignorance so many people had when they flaunted their opinions, but plainly and honestly, like he knew exactly what he was talking about. I couldn't help wondering what he had seen to know that so certainly.

I must have been quiet for too long, because he finally glanced up to meet my eyes, looking trapped as I kept staring. The hint of red in his face finally registered and I glanced down at the table to grab a napkin and wrap it around my drink. "So, you're a rebel, then?" I asked jokingly, trying to lighten the air for both our sakes. "Breaking off from tradition, fighting against authority?"

Leo choked on his drink and coughed out a laugh, raspy but genuine. "No. Trust me, no, I'm not. That position has already been filled in our family," he drawled. "I like tradition as much as the next person. As you know, Japanese culture is all about tradition, and I know that there's comfort in that. But I've also learned that you have to be willing to change everything sometimes; how you think, what or who you'll accept, what you're willing to do for others and your dreams…all of it, sometimes. And while it's not always comfortable, it's not always bad, either. But the fact is that despite all the good things that have come from change, from embracing differences and defying convention, people still resist things that are unfamiliar."

I'd rarely had light conversation turn so serious so easily, and I wondered if Leo was always like this, or if it was just a matter of being uncomfortable around strangers. "I guess we do. So are you open-minded about pretty much everything?"

"I ought to be," Leo responded dryly. "Given who I am and how I was raised, I can't exactly judge anyone else's version of normal. What about you?"

It was a pretty obvious deflection, but I ran with it; I'd been nosy enough already, especially considering the fact that we barely knew each other. "I'd like to think I'm fairly open-minded too; over the years, I've definitely learned to improvise and roll with things as they come. My father's only a fan of planning ahead when it suits him; otherwise he just plans as he goes. And being raised only by my father, and living over a dojo in New York City…well, I'm obviously not exactly from a white-picket-fence home life either. The way I see it, you can't really live in a place like NYC and not learn to have a broader definition of normal, or at least a broader tolerance for strange; it's not a place for the faint of heart."

"You're right, it's not," he agreed.

The lack of surrounding noise finally registered as our conversation paused, and I glanced around to realize that most of the coffee shop's occupants had already left. A quick check of my watch confirmed that we'd been there for almost an hour. "I think we're about to get kicked out," I commented.

Leo blinked and scanned the tables around us, chagrin obvious on his face. "You're right. I didn't realize it was so late. I should get you home."

It was on the tip of my tongue to refuse—after all, I'd gotten there just fine earlier that night, and had obviously survived the city this long—but Leo seemed to somehow read it on my face. "Please," he added softly.

It still wasn't a request, but suddenly the same surety I'd seen when I first met him was back, and I got the impression that he wasn't willing to budge on the matter. Still, since he was trying to be a gentleman, I told myself to put my hackles down. "Sounds like a plan," I agreed casually.

Surprise flit across his face, like he'd expected to have to argue for it, but it was gone in a heartbeat as he gathered our empty cups and threw them in the trash on our way to the door. I had to bite my tongue to keep from asking how he'd learned to be such a gentleman if his father hadn't had experiences of his own to teach him from; maybe it was thanks to his friend April, or his best guess. I'd asked him enough questions for one night. And besides, I still had someone else to question when I got home; my father was at the top of the list, and there was a good chance Rae might be there, if only for the chance to gloat.

Rae. Okay, maybe one more question.

"So, was this better or worse than your date with Rae?"

Leo groaned, sounding like he was about five years younger, and I couldn't help laughing. "I plead the fifth," he said grimly, placing a hand gently at the small of my back as he maneuvered us around a knot of people on the sidewalk. "I know very well that there's no safe way to answer that."

"Coward. How did it go?" I was asking partly to see just how unsettled he could get, and partly out of honest curiosity; now that I'd met Leo and really talked to him, I couldn't hardly imagine him and Rae together. Unless he'd just been too polite to run.

"Quickly," Leo offered, his tone wry. "I met her within the first five minutes of setting foot in the bar, and she…escorted me—"

"Dragged you," I supplemented, knowing full well what had probably happened.

"—out to the patio another five minutes after that," he continued, not even trying to argue with my assessment of things. "We spent the evening talking, and then she gave me her number and told me she'd be setting me up with one of her friends." He gave me a bemused smile. "And here we are."

"Here we are," I agreed. Despite my lingering annoyance with Rae—I hated being the last to know something—it had been an interesting evening…and fun, too, I suppose. Leo was a puzzle, definitely, and I could see why my father enjoyed his company. Still, it was obvious that there was a lot that he was holding back, both emotionally and in terms of information. He hadn't been lying when he'd said he wasn't looking for anything from me.

We both lapsed into silence for the rest of the walk, and oddly enough, it was companionable rather than awkward. The streets were still fairly busy, 9 o'clock hardly counting as a late hour in New York, and more than once I felt that same careful touch on my back as Leo steered me around certain groups. I glanced at all of them as we passed, more curious as to why they caught his notice than I was annoyed at his hovering. Some watched us back, and some admittedly had the look of gang members, but most of the time I couldn't tell what it was that had Leo concerned.

"Expecting trouble?" I asked offhandedly.

"Trying to prevent it," he answered slowly, obviously hoping I hadn't noticed.

"We're not exactly attracting a lot of attention, you know. And it's not like this is a bad part of town."

"No, but it's generally safer to make it known that you're not alone at this time of night, no matter where you are."

My resolution to not get annoyed was waning. "I'm familiar with how to take care of myself in the city, Leo; you're not telling me anything I don't know."

"Just things you're not practicing," he murmured absently. There was a pause as I stared at him with my eyebrows raised, and judging by the way his eyes flew open, it was obvious he thought he'd been talking to someone else for a moment. "I'm sorry, Naomi. My brothers and I have seen and stopped to help lots of women caught in alleys over the years; I just don't have a lot of faith in the impulse control of some of the city's population."

He had a point, unfortunately; but then, so did I. "I've never been caught in an alley," I informed him, "and I haven't lived with a martial arts teacher all my life without learning anything."

Leo sighed, suddenly sounding tired. "Naomi, I'm not trying to criticize you at all. It's just…I've grown up looking out for people; it's not something I can just turn off. I'm sorry if I've offended you."

He hadn't, not really, but I'd apparently offended him. I hadn't meant to make him defensive about his tendency to look after people, especially not since it was a sweet one and likely the result of having younger brothers. I just didn't know how to handle it. I'd answered to myself for years; I grew up rather fast, and while my father still provided guidance and support, he'd recognized years ago that I was past the age of needing supervision (even if he still indulged himself in coddling or interfering occasionally). "You haven't. I appreciate the concern, I'm just…not used to it on quite this scale."

A rueful smile spread across Leo's face, and some of the tension disappeared. "That was very tactful, thank you. I'll try to keep it in check."

We reached my home within another five minutes, and I paused with Leo at the door. "This was fun," I said sincerely. "Unexpected, but fun."

"It was." His lips quirked slightly. "Just out of curiosity, what are you planning to say to Rae?"

I scowled. "Do you want the censored version? Because she certainly won't hear it, and neither will my father."

Leo fought to stifle a laugh, his eyes crinkling. "You've got your father in your sights too?"

"He was in on it. Rae told him something that made him laugh his head off the other day, and when I met you tonight, I realized that this had to be it; they knew we were meeting each other, and didn't see fit to share that. They both have a bad habit of trying to set me up with people, and I do my best to discourage them of it each time, though obviously it doesn't stick."

"You're not big on surprises?"

Leo's tone was very careful, and I realized I'd let more than a little irritation creep into my voice. Sheepishly I reigned myself in a bit. "I don't like not being in control of a situation," I corrected him. "I raised myself as much as my father did, because I wanted to help him with the work around the house after my mother died and because that's just who I am, I guess. If I was an adult, or at least seen as an adult, I figured it would give me some control over that much of my life at least. It was some comfort that I could hold onto." I sighed. "I know I worry my father sometimes. He wishes that I would be more lighthearted, worry less. He tells me that he wishes I was as flexible in my life as I am in yoga, that I would be willing to bend and explore my boundaries more, but I'm just not like him."

"I understand. My brothers are much the same, particularly Mikey, the one I live with. He tells me that I need to get out more often, to find new things to do besides taking care of them, but when it's all I've done for about twenty years…"

"It's a hard habit to break." Put that way, I could see that he really couldn't help the protective streak.

"Exactly."

He was being very agreeable. I glanced at him, trying to think of a way to say this without sounding unfriendly. "I'm not looking for romance right now. I don't need a relationship the way my father thinks."

"I'm not trying to start anything," Leo assured me hurriedly. "Honestly, I'm here because I enjoy your father's company and spending time at a dojo; with my father living in Japan now, it's nice to have a sense of the familiar nearby. I like visiting him here, but if my presence here unsettles you, or if you feel I'm somehow pressuring you, I can switch which days I visit so that our schedules don't overlap. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable in your own workplace."

I tilted my head slightly, feeling like I'd been possessed by Rae for a moment as I gave in to the urge to tease Leo; I could suddenly see why she did it, because seeing him flustered as opposed to his usual control was oddly endearing. "Why would I? Should I expect pressure from you?"

"No! I mean…" He looked like he was fighting the urge to wince. "Naomi, I think that you're a very attractive, strong woman, and I'd be lying if I said that didn't appeal to me. But I'm not looking for romance any more than you are, and I have no experience in it regardless. I'd never try to push any feelings that weren't welcome, I'm just—I'm just trying to say that I don't want to ruin a haven for both of us by complicating things."

I blinked, and by the feeling of heat spreading across the bridge of my nose, I knew I was blushing. It served me right, that he would be so completely honest when I was just trying to tease him. I deserved to feel as blindsided as I did. "Oh. Well, I…appreciate your honesty. I don't think you need to rearrange your entire schedule just because Rae decided to play matchmaker and my father decided to help…unless you feel uncomfortable."

Leo shook his head and smiled. "I'm fine. My brothers are much more thoroughly versed in embarrassing me; this is tame compared to things I've gone through in the past, trust me."

I smiled back. "Then I'm sure we'll be fine." Awkward or not, I held out my hand. "I look forward to getting to see you more often, Leo, regardless of my father's machinations. If there are two reasonable people to one irrational person, I'm sure we'll be able to keep him from causing too much trouble."

The look on his face was equal parts amused, bemused and slightly doubtful. "Here's hoping," he agreed as he returned my grip, his hand dwarfing mine. "What about Rae?"

I sighed. "Choose your battles," I advised him wearily.

His shoulders shook in a quiet laugh. "Good advice. Have a good evening, Naomi, and tell your father I said hello."

"I'll tell him that and a few other things," I promised grimly.

* * *

**Kimura Hitoshi  
**

Na-chan's temper was in rare form tonight, I mused from my spot at the window one floor above the shop front. Thanks to a quiet street and an open window, I'd been able to catch most of the conversation between Leonardo-san and Na-chan as they lingered outside the dojo. After all, it was a father's prerogative to keep an eye on his daughter's dates, even if he trusted the young man.

It served as a good early warning system, too.

Even if I hadn't heard that tone in Na-chan's voice, I could have sensed that she had a lecture stored up for me, a continuation of the one Leonardo-san had spared me from earlier in the week; I knew Na-chan had probably been suspicious as soon as I'd introduced them and whisked Yuki-chan away. I doubted Leonardo-san had noticed, though judging by my friend's hasty exit this evening, he was perceptive enough about Na-chan to know that he didn't want to be the target of her anger.

He was a very bright young man.

I slipped out of my room, taking a seat in the upstairs kitchen and waiting for Na-chan. I knew very well after all these years that if my daughter had something to say, I had best be available for her to say it. She had so much of her mother in her, so much fire. It was a shame she and Yuki-chan hadn't been closer in age; Na-chan would've been a good teacher for Yuki-chan on how to speak her mind.

"Tou-chan."

Ah, caught again. I smiled at my daughter. "Ah, Na-chan. Did you have a nice—"

"You _knew_. You knew and you didn't say anything. Not even a warning."

Mm, Na-chan seemed a bit more upset than usual. Most of the time, she handled little surprises well, but this one seemed to have struck a nerve. "About…?"

She sighed and dropped her purse over one of the coat hooks. "Leo, tou-chan. You knew full well that I was meeting him tonight since Rae obviously told you."

"I did," I admitted cheerfully. "I thought it was a nice surprise."

Na-chan's lips thinned. "You know how I feel about surprises. And blind dates."

I sighed. She tried so hard to keep the world's reins in her hands, to protect herself from being surprised or hurt like she'd been after Masato-chan's death, and it stifled so much of life for her. "I do, Na-chan."

"Then why didn't you say anything?"

"Because you need some fun in your life, Na-chan. Because surprises are good for you. Besides, you had a good time, didn't you?"

She hesitated, then sighed, her face softening. "Yes, I did," she admitted.

Ah, well now. "There, see?"

"You still should have told me."

"Why?" I asked reasonably. "Would it have helped? What would you have done with the knowledge?"

Na-chan frowned and started to reply, then broke off, looking unsure. I smiled behind my cup and answered for her.

"You might have been upset, which would have spoiled the evening for both of you. Or would you have cancelled altogether? You would have had to explain that to Leonardo-san the next time you saw him, and you would have missed out on a chance to talk with a very nice young man."

Maa, but she could look fierce when she frowned. "I've told you time and again that I don't want to be set up, tou-chan."

"And I didn't set you up," I reminded her, my tone chastising. "You are entirely too defensive sometimes, Na-chan. I know you aren't looking for a relationship, but that doesn't mean that meeting new people is bad for you. Rae-chan is only trying to help. And as her friend, you owe it to her to be grateful she cares for you so much and to take it with good grace. At worst, you spend an evening with a stranger and try something new. Is that so bad?"

She slumped, taking the chair across from me and sighing, guilt painting her face. "No, tou-chan. I just…I don't like you two thinking my life needs changing and trying to take matters into your own hands. I'm doing fine."

I reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ears, then slipped my hand beneath her chin. "Yes, you are, but it is a father's—and a friend's—prerogative to want to see you doing more than fine, doing excellently, and being as happy as you can be. Perhaps our methods aren't the ones you'd prefer, but our motives are good, Na-chan." I got a small but fond smile for that and knew I'd been forgiven. "Besides, you had a good time, didn't you?"

Na-chan nodded, looking thoughtful. "I did. Leo is…very reserved, though."

"He is." It was one of the things they had in common, though I knew better than to say so out loud. "He is an excellent conversation partner, though."

"Yes…" she agreed hesitantly. "It's just…he's keeping a lot back, tou-chan. I don't know if he even realizes how obvious it is, but I can tell there's a lot about his past he doesn't share."

"You're right." The silences, the hesitance in Leonardo-san's responses were telling, but I appreciated his honesty. He was a puzzle, being open about the fact that there were things he couldn't share. There were wounds in his past, that much was obvious, and they made my young friend older than his years. "But that is his right, and he more than makes up for it by being an excellent listener and excellent company."

"He does. He's a bit…overprotective, though. And surprisingly awkward at times."

"Who isn't?" I asked cheerfully, not missing the small smile on her face. Ah, to have been a fly on the wall at the coffee shop this evening. "We all have our moments, ne?"

Na-chan seemed to catch my smile, scowling slightly and standing up. "Some of us more than others," she said tartly, raising an eyebrow at me. "I'm going to get a shower."

"Hai, hai."

She made for her room, but paused at the doorway. "Tou-chan?"

I set my cup down and turned to face her fully; I knew from the hesitance in her voice to pay close attention. "Yes, Na-chan?"

"Don't…" Her fingers tapped distractedly on the doorjamb. "Don't push him for answers, okay? I know you like to talk, and that you think working things through is best for everyone, but…don't make him feel like he has to shut down even more, okay?"

My Na-chan had such a good heart. It seemed that despite her reluctance, she hadn't been able to help being curious about Leonardo-san; her tone made it obvious that she too had seen the way walls went up in Leonardo-san's face when questions got too specific. "Na-chan, I count Leonardo-san as a good friend, and I would never seek to cause him harm of any kind," I said honestly. "I merely want him to know that I find him interesting, and that I am here to listen if he wants to talk…just like you," I added, unable to help it.

I was rewarded with a flare of red and a fierce scowl, all worry banished from her face. "Tou-chan, you are impossible! I see him only as a friend, one I _barely know_."

"As do I!" I protested innocently. "That is all I said!"

"But not what you meant," she grit out. Her dark eyes were snapping as she leveled a finger at me. "I know all your tricks, tou-chan, and how you work when you try to throw men at me—"

"I would never!" I had nudged in my time, certainly, but never thrown any young men; someone might get hurt, and I knew Na-chan would be more inclined to step out of the way and let them fall rather than catch them, metaphorically speaking. Or literally, for that matter.

"—and I'll watch for them. I'll warn Leo about them, too, because he's not looking for anything any more than I am, and you should respect that," she added tartly.

Aiya! I wondered sometimes where Na-chan had learned how to trap with words so well. "I wasn't the one who set this up," I pointed out. "You are so unkind and distrustful to your poor father, when all he wanted was a nice conversation about your evening."

"Oh, trust me; I'll be talking to Rae too. But even if this was her idea, you're guilty by association. Keep that in mind." She stalked out of the room.

"_Oyasumi nasai_, Na-chan!" I called after her brightly, only to be rewarded with a smattering of rather impolite Japanese that I was fairly certain I'd never taught her. "I love you too!"

A door slammed, and I laughed softly as the water started a minute later. As defensive as Na-chan was, she had a good heart; she was just so careful about trying to wrestle the world into following her plans that she neglected that heart sometimes. Rae-chan was good for her, and I knew Na-chan knew that too, even if it exasperated her sometimes.

It would be interesting to talk to Leonardo-san and see what I could get out of him about the evening. He was much less suspicious than Na-chan was, and for all his control and world-weariness, oddly exposed when he was caught off-guard—something that he obviously sought to make sure didn't happen often.

Despite Na-chan's accusations, I hadn't planned to push them towards each other at all when I had first met Leonardo-san. He had obviously been looking for some kind of an anchor, and looked too lost for me to do anything but offer a sanctuary. But the more I spoke to him, the more I liked what I saw, and thought that the two of them would be good for each other, whether their relationship went far or not. It might be that they would be incompatible, too much worry and responsibility between the two of them to mesh well, but only time would tell. My job as a father was merely to point out the potential, regardless of Na-chan's claims that neither of them was interested.

I couldn't help but smile to myself. Children...they were so certain that they knew all there was to know, certain that once they saw something coming, they could never be caught by it. 'Not looking for romance,' indeed...

I chuckled as I sipped my tea. Didn't they know romance finds you, not the other way around? It would be interesting to see what would happen, and just what their reactions might be if they fell for each other, so studiously keeping an eye out for me that they didn't catch themselves drawing each other closer.

And perhaps, once Na-chan's suspicions had waned a bit, Rae-chan and I could talk…

* * *

**A/N:** Not much to say about this one, other than I hope everyone likes it. Hitoshi-san is a ridiculous amount of fun to write, holy crap; I hope you guys enjoyed him as much as I do. :D As always, reviews are love and concrit is appreciated, as are notes about typos and how the story's flowing. Please let me know if the POV shifts are still working for the story, too. Thanks for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

_**Disclaimer**__: see previous chapters._

I am so sorry about yet another ridiculous delay in updating, but real life got in the way in a big way; I ended up moving into a new apartment in June! I'd been looking at one in the building, and then after a couple weeks there was only one left, so I had to either jump on it or try and find another one somewhere else. So between moving and getting the new place set up and getting settled in, free time outside of work was pretty scarce for the month. My apologies again for the delay, but it really couldn't be helped. ^_^;;

But I'm back in the swing of things again, and since there is quite literally no other big life change that can/will happen in the next few months—I already have a job and an apartment, and trust me, I won't be getting married anytime soon—updates should hopefully resume as planned every two months, possibly a little sooner if I can manage it.

Special thanks to **TheWatcherandReader, J-Kid, Silver Lightning Blade, evilpinkpen, Sabrinasidd,** and **AntebellumHope** for reviewing the previous chapter.

And thanks to all of my readers for your patience in putting up with my erratic updates. It really, really means a lot that this story still gets so much support, even with the update gaps. You guys are awesome! :)

* * *

**Michelangelo  
**

* * *

"And that's everything he told you?"

Don nodded, still looking a little stressed out as he filled Leo and Raph in on our visit to Chuck and Ryu's place the other day. We'd gathered for another powwow at Raph and Don's to get them up to speed. "That's everything, pretty much word-for-word. I know we really could have used more, but…it's something, at least."

Leo shook his head. "It's information, Don, and from someone close to the situation; it's what we need, even if it's not that specific."

"I can investigate the building, maybe set up some surveillance, and get an idea of what we could feed to the police, but that's all I can think of right now," Don continued, fingers tapping absently along his leg.

"Or we could do the simple thing an' just go in there, kick ass, and leave the explanations to the Foot an' the clean-up to the cops, like old times," Raph drawled, watching Leo with a look that said he totally thought it was a good idea but was also just waiting for Leo to shoot it down.

Leo gave Raph a look right back, the exasperated one that got so much use. "Raph, we can't just waltz in there as humans and…pick a fight…" he trailed off, frowning thoughtfully, his eyes going distant. "Hm."

Raph looked about ready to fall out of his chair, and I wouldn't be far behind him. "Hm? Hm what?" I asked. "Hm, I think I left the stove on back at our place, or hm, I'm actually considering Raph's plan?"

"Actually, it's got potential," Leo said finally.

"Leo's on board with a Raph plan," I repeated. "Oh geez, apocalypse starts now."

Raph looked just as surprised as I was, not that it stopped him from reaching out to smack me on the back of the head. "You serious, Leo?"

"Obviously it needs to be a lot neater than that, but…look. Ryu told Don that Karai is keeping only the absolute minimum in terms of people on most of her jobs now, right? If she's doing that for almost all of them, she'll still make sure that the risky or important ones have enough people that whoever she's dealing with won't try anything. But those people have to come from somewhere," Leo pointed out. "If she's not willing to take them from the patrols searching the sewers, she'll take them from somewhere else…most likely, from the jobs and positions she feels the most secure about, places she's comfortable she can spare people from…places where she's certain she'll never be attacked."

Don was nodding slowly. "Like…?"

"Her personal guard, I'd guess," Leo replied. "Not that that helps us, since a direct attack isn't something we can risk right now. But I'm willing to bet she'd also take them from her various guard posts. She'll pull men from the teams guarding the Foot's various warehouses and delivery points; she's confident now that everyone knows that those locations are hers and won't try anything. There will be fewer men than could feasibly hold up under an attack of any strength."

"So?"

"So we'll attack there, at the warehouse Ryu mentioned. Where was it again?"

"Down by the old cannery," I offered. "Riverside."

"Right. From the number of times we've crashed a party at different Foot warehouses, we know that the average number she keeps at each warehouse is about twelve to fourteen, though she'll sometimes have two dozen if something big is going down. If Ryu says the teams there are down to the bare minimum…" He frowned and glanced at us. "If you guys were securing a warehouse, not expecting any trouble but wanting to maintain a presence there, how many people would you station there?"

Raph shrugged. "I dunno, about a dozen. Maybe a couple more, just in case."

Don and I nodded. "Maybe a few more if it was a big deal or we were guarding something serious," I added.

"Okay. Now if you had problems elsewhere that required more people, but you still needed to maintain that warehouse, how many would you consider as your bare minimum?"

Raph made a face, tapping his fingers on his knee. It took a minute for him to answer. "No less than eight. An' I wouldn't be happy with that few."

"Depending on the size, I'd say about six," Don said slowly. "If you're talking about a warehouse like the one we use, then you could still hold that with such a small force, if you positioned them carefully and focused on the high ground. But it'd be touchy, like Raph said."

"I don't think I'd go below nine or so," I said. "I mean, if we're thinking like Karai—which is really uncomfortable, by the way—then she'd be expecting the cops, the Dragons, or us. The Foot wouldn't try anything against the cops, they'd just disappear, so it wouldn't matter how many people either side had. Nine guys could still take down up to about two dozen Dragons. If she's expecting us, with nine people it would be just over two-to-one odds—unless we were doing the "Donnie's taking care of Sensei" trick again, then it'd be three-to-one odds. She'd know that they still wouldn't be able to beat us, though, but maybe one of 'em would still be able to grab whatever they're guarding and hightail it out of there."

"Good point," Leo said approvingly. "Okay, that puts us at an average of six to nine Foot; decent odds for us, bad odds for them. It'd be an easy fight."

"Wait, you're actually considering going after them?" Don asked, his face getting pinched. I could feel my shoulders start to creep up around my ears and wondered if we were going to start another round of "stop endangering our new life" versus "we have to keep our enemies distracted."

"Ryu told you about that warehouse for a reason, Don, either because it's a key target or just because it's an easy one and he felt like he had to offer us something," Leo pointed out carefully, his face kinda blank as he talked, and I wondered if he hated Donnie not wanting any part of this kind of thing anymore just as much as I did. "And it's been a while since our trip to the sewers, so we need to do something else to keep Karai off-balance."

I glanced between the two of them. "Um, not that I'm not up for kicking their butts again, but a warehouse is a lot brighter than the sewers; they'd notice we're human, Leo." I waved a hand at him. "It's kind of hard to miss."

"We'll be going in as humans."

I waited for the customary cricket noises in the silence after that statement, but all I got was Raph laughing like he'd just heard the funniest joke ever. "We'll be what now?"

Leo winced a little. "Listen, we need Karai to focus on someone or something other than us, right? So we'll give her a new enemy. If she has to split her attention in so many directions, it'll weaken her control."

"And sanity," Don muttered.

"Bit late for that one," Raph drawled with a snort, still chuckling. "So who're you thinkin'?"

"The Purple Dragons. They haven't been an arm of the Foot for a while, not since Hun died," Leo answered, ignoring my snicker. Arm of the Foot; it sounded like a bad band name. "And without Hun around, the Dragons don't have any ties or loyalty to the Foot anymore. We've already seen them interfere in one deal, so there's basis for it, too. So we'll go in as Dragons. Face masks, hair dye—"

"Fake tattoos," I added.

"—will all be easy enough," Leo continued, nodding at me. "So we go in, jump the Foot, take them down quickly—but messily, since the Dragons can't even spell precision, much less use it—and get out of there." He glanced at me. "Do you think you can recreate a Dragon tattoo well enough from memory?"

"Sure, that shouldn't be too hard," I said with a shrug, then grinned as I thought of something. "Hey. Hey, wait a minute. If we can find a Dragon hangout nearby, we could probably lure some of them after us; run into the hideout, pretend to be a new recruit and tell them about a scuffle at a warehouse, and lead them right to it. And it'd be easy to disappear as soon as they get there and everything goes nuts. The Dragons never seem to pass up a fight, especially if they might get something out of it."

"Vultures are rarely picky," Don muttered. He rubbed at his eyes. "I'll admit, it could work, but it leaves a lot to chance, more than the sewer escapade did. What if the Dragons don't take the bait? What if one bright spark realizes they don't know the "newbie" leading them to some abandoned warehouse?"

Raph raised an eyebrow. "Have you ever known the Dragons to have any bright sparks?"

"There's a first time for everything, Raph," Don said, not even taking the opening for a joke. "And what if whatever they have in that warehouse is dangerous?" he asked Leo. "Do you really want that falling into the hands of the Dragons?"

"I don't want it falling into anyone's hands," Leo said evenly. "And as much as I like the idea of adding some real Dragons in to make things more believable, it's too much of a risk adding another variable to the equation, especially an undependable one. And to have them fight our battles for us…even if it is the Purple Dragons we're talking about, it's just not right."

I could see Raph make a face at that, and knew we were thinking the same thing; it wasn't like we'd be getting the Dragons to do anything they wouldn't do themselves anyway, and karma-wise, it was probably way past time for it to be their turn to be the victims of something. Still, I hadn't lived with Leo all these years for nothing, so I knew the likelihood of convincing him of that was about five steps below 'not a chance.' "So then how are we gonna make up for the numbers and supposed lack of skill?" I asked.

"Surprise attack, small explosives—do you have some, Donnie?" He smiled at Don's nod. "Good. Things along those lines. The Dragons have been using them for years, since they don't really have the kinds of skills that they can rely on alone. We'll call the cops just before we attack," Leo explained. "We take out the ninja Karai has at the warehouse, and then explaining the unconscious men wearing her company symbol while trespassing in a supposedly vacant warehouse will be her problem. We've never had a fight with a dozen Foot ninja that lasted longer than ten minutes, and we'll probably be facing only about eight or so, which will hardly take five minutes if we're precise. The nearest precinct…" He chewed on his lip for a second, thinking. "I can't think of the closest one in that area, but with traffic, it has to be at least ten minutes away. By the time they got there, we'd be gone. Worst-case scenario, the Foot ninja might regain consciousness soon enough to get out before the cops show up, and all the police find is the warehouse and whatever Karai is storing there. But best-case scenario, they find a bunch of unconscious Foot ninja and some suspicious cargo in the middle of a warehouse no one is supposed to be in."

Raph grinned. "An' you say all my ideas are stupid ones."

"So far, that still holds true," Donnie muttered.

Raph reached out to flick him in the temple and smirked at Leo. "I'm up for it. Hell, all we'd have to do is run into the Dragons' hideout, slap someone, head back out, an' they'd all follow. An' then gettin' 'em all nailed by the cops? I'd pay to see their faces."

"_Or_ we could keep our distance and handle it ourselves," Leo said firmly, glaring at Raph. "It's better to keep from adding another element that we can't predict to this, especially since it's going to be risky and off-the-cuff as it is."

"Oooh, idea!" I chimed in with a grin. "We could totally use some fake blood and have it covering part of our faces when we run into the warehouse, make it seem like we came from a fight and just stumbled onto 'em; that'd make it harder to identify us and totally make it more realistic."

They all kind of stared at me a little. "Why do you have fake blood?" Don asked warily.

"I don't, I have a recipe for it."

"Why?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

Don sighed. "Never mind. You do realize we're going to have to fight without any Ninjutsu at all, don't you? If we start fighting with martial arts, the Foot are going to be suspicious. It'll have to be all brawling."

Raph's face was gonna break if he kept grinning like that. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

Donnie rolled his eyes. "I'm _saying_ it's going to be a little more difficult than usual. If we're going to make them believe this, the timing is going to be pivotal. We have to fight the Foot without getting "beaten," but we can't just flatten them easily or they'll be suspicious; it'll have to seem like dumb luck and surprise and the benefit of brute force. We'd also need to win within about eight minutes in order to get out of sight long enough to disappear before the cops showed up."

"Can't be more difficult than breaking into Foot HQ," I pointed out.

Those little lines were back around Donnie's eyes, and he glance at Leo tiredly. "And you're sure this would be helpful?"

"As sure as I can be," Leo answered. "Ryu said that right now, Karai is focused on us and not much else. Other than the business talks with Seiichi-san, she has no real conflict going on, nothing to split her attention between. We need to find something else to draw her attention, and I think introducing the Dragons into the equation as potential enemies will help."

"You know, if we're lucky an' the Dragons hear about this, an' they still have a few brain cells between 'em, they might run with this themselves," Raph said slowly, stretching his arms casually. "The Dragons, I mean. If we can wipe out a group of the Foot an' they hear about it somehow, that it was done by a couple newbies in the gang, or even from another gang, they'll think the Foot aren't a threat anymore. They've always thought they were tougher'n they really are, an' if they think they can whip the Foot, they'd prob'ly head towards the next warehouse all by themselves."

I glanced over at Leo. "What do you think Karai will do if this works?"

Leo shook his head with a shrug. "I can't know for sure, but I'm guessing she'll take action. The things that seem to be driving Karai lately are revenge and paranoia. Take us, for example; we've been out of sight for months, and even before the change, we hadn't moved against her much, all things considered. Our absence has her paranoid. Add to that the fact that her business is failing—which she blames us for—and that seems to be all it takes. She's not looking at the big picture anymore; she doesn't seem to be looking past the short-term at all. It's like she thinks that killing us will set everything right, and she either can't, or won't, realize that it won't fix anything else for her."

He glanced out the window. "She doesn't seem to realize that she can put hunting us on hold, but she can't just take her company back if she loses it. Karai wants a quick fix for all of her problems. I'm guessing that as she sees things now, we're the only problem with a quick solution, so she's trying to take care of us first, thinking that will be the best way to eliminate the demands for her attention. We'll play off of that. If we can get the Dragons to seem like a problem for her, she'll have a long-term problem to deal with, and we should become less of a concern."

"How do the Dragons count as long-term?" Raph asked scornfully.

"Because there's so many of them," Don answered, already getting his thinking look back on his face. "We're a short-term problem because there are only four of us—five, if Master Splinter were still here. Theoretically, it should be easy to get us out of the way, particularly since we're always together. But the Dragons…who knows how many of them there are; a hundred or so, at least, maybe more. If Karai wants to take care of them, she'll have to deal with all of them; she knows well enough now that leaving any enemies alive is like rolling out the welcome mat for retaliation. And she probably can't afford to lose any business, even if it's just back-alley deals. She'll have to deal with them since they'll represent a larger, more immediate threat than we do, but committing to that will mean she'll be in for the long haul." He glanced up at Leo. "You do realize that this could push her right over the edge, right? Do we really want to deal with her going crazy?"

"Um, question? She's already crazy, right? She can't get much crazier from what I see," I offered.

"She can," Don said, settling back and bringing out the Explanation Voice. "Even the best planners and tacticians can only handle so much at one time. If you have three equally demanding, equally important problems facing you all at once—in Karai's case, her company, us, and the Purple Dragons—you're going to be facing a considerable amount of stress. Add to that the fact that there is no easy or quick solution for any of them, and the fact that there's a time limit on one of the issues…that's a lot to deal with. And when you consider that the problems facing Karai are direct threats to her way of life—in this case, personal, social and financial safety—then she's being threatened at the very basic level. Combine that all together…and yeah, it's definitely possible that she could just break down completely."

I'd just kind of had an idea of Karai doing a lot of yelling, but Donnie seemed to think this was gonna hit her hard. "You really think it'll be that bad?" I asked.

"I'm just saying that it _could_ be that bad," Don answered with a shrug. "People react the worst to threats to personal safety and security. If all of this is really bothering Karai, if she's already as unbalanced as Ryu says, this could be the proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back." He glanced at Leo levelly. "And we need to think about whether we want to deal with that or not, and how."

Leo looked at Don for a minute. "You think there's a good chance of this throwing her off that much?"

Don shrugged again. "You're the one that knows her, Leo; I'm just throwing out some basic psychology. This is all guesswork based on how we've seen her react to pressure in the past. But even if we didn't do this little raid, things are still going to come to a head. Karai is going to lose her company; that's kind of inevitable at this point. And when she loses it, and she finds herself with all these problems—no company, no idea what we're doing, other elements moving in on her back-alley business—and no support…well, anyone would be reach their limit. And who knows how many of her ninja will take the chance and defect in the confusion of the sale. Push it to that point, and Karai will correctly think she has nothing left to lose."

"Meanin' she won't care about bein' seen or gettin' caught anymore," Raph said slowly, frowning.

"Probably," Don agreed. "We know there are a lot more options when you don't have any societal restrictions; you can't stop people you don't know exist."

"So we also need to consider how to deal with that. When the company goes…I don't know what I'd do in her place. I'd probably consolidate, pull my forces in and strengthen what I had left," Leo mused.

"Yeah, but that's if you're not crazy," I pointed out. Watching Leo try to think like Karai made my stomach churn; he'd been down that road before, the one of obsessive paranoia, and I didn't ever want him getting even close to it again. "She is. Obviously, getting revenge is a lot more important to her than doing the smart thing, or she wouldn't be losing the company right now."

"I still don't see this changin' anything," Raph said, folding his arms and looking impatient. "She's still gonna lose the company, and we've still gotta do somethin' to deal with her an' keep her from gettin' suspicious. That ain't gonna change. And it doesn't matter how desperate she is or how nuts she's gonna get if she can't find us. Or if she does, an' it ends up bein' public 'cause she ain't got any sense left any more, she'll get caught an' solve the problem for us."

"Or, if she can't find us, she might go after April and Casey," Leo said tiredly.

"She might either way," Don admitted. "If she continues to not be able to find us, she's going to start thinking about her options, and it won't take her long to realize that April and Casey are her only lead to us." He sighed and scratched his head. "Their apartment is already pretty secure, but I can probably upgrade their security system some more. April doesn't exactly have to commute from work to home, so we don't have to worry as much about her being caught out at night. And Casey is fine on his own; I'd pity anyone who tried to rush him at night while he's walking home with a fully-stocked toolbox."

Raph laughed. "He'd love it. It'd make his whole freakin' day."

I sighed, shifting around until I hung upside down off the couch. I didn't mind planning sessions, but this part, the "try and figure out the results before it happens" bit, always bored me. I mean, it's impossible to know exactly what's gonna happen, and yeah, while planning for stuff that might happen while we were on a mission was a good idea, planning for stuff that might happen after was just a guarantee for a headache. "So we can really only warn them to be more careful. I did tell Chuck that he should get some of his cop buddies to keep an eye out for Footies across from April's shop, so we at least have someone else keeping an eye on them."

"But it's still Karai's move," Raph growled. He made a face and shoved my feet away from where I'd poked him in the shoulder, and I yelped as I nearly fell off the couch. "I don't like it."

"No one does," Don replied. "But that's what chess is like; you make your moves, identify all the ones your opponent could make, and prepare for them."

"So, do we want to try this?" Leo asked.

"I say we go for it," I said, Raph nodding beside me.

Don looked at us and sighed. "I guess it's the best option, even if it is going to escalate things. Give me a few more days to put some things together for the raid, or whatever we're calling it." He hesitated. "Are we going to do this as three or four?"

I held my breath and glanced at Leo, but he just smiled slightly like he was grateful that Donnie was willing to offer. "As much as I'd like to have all of us in the fight, to make a more convincing "group," I think it'd be better to just have three; Karai probably connects four of anything with us. I would like to have you there in the shadows just in case, though, Don; it won't hurt to have an ace in the hole, and I'd like to have a pair of eyes outside the warehouse to keep an eye on things. We need to make sure no one is going to sneak up on us."

Some of the tension seemed to ease of out both of them when Don nodded. "That's easy enough. I can bring some of my portable sensors with me too."

"Okay, so, this weekend?" I asked, planting my hands on the ground and tilting farther forward until I was doing a handstand. I grinned at Don. "Sure you don't have any hot dates?"

Don raised an eyebrow and poked me right in the ribs, _right_ in the ticklish spot, and I almost toppled over from the automatic flail response. "My schedule's open, thanks for your concern."

"Dude, we're forgetting something really big in all this," I said suddenly.

Leo frowned, brows pulled down. "What?"

I turned my head slightly towards him, knowing he was probably thinking I was talking about the plan. "How did your date go the other night? You totally didn't say a thing about it!"

In retrospect, I really shouldn't have been surprised when Leo reached over and shoved me hard enough that I finally did fall over.

* * *

**Donatello  
**

* * *

Raph pushed himself up off the couch, cracking his neck with a quick jerk and a grimace. "Well, while Donnie figures out what kinda tech we're gonna need, I'm stealin' Leo."

"What? For what?" Leo asked, looking confused.

"Brawlin'." He raised an eyebrow when Leo opened his mouth to protest. "Come on, Leo, when's the last time you fought in any way other than sparrin' with Ninjutsu? Never? We've got a couple days to teach you to fight like a 'banger, so we might as well start now."

"Dude, I am so here to help," Mikey interjected, grinning as he scrambled to his feet. "Teach Leo to fight dirty? This is like the best idea ever."

"Some people would find it very, very odd that the moments of greatest joy in your life generally involve corrupting others, Mikey," I noted absently as I grabbed some paper and jotted a few notes down. "Especially when it's your own brother."

"Yeah, well, some people don't know us," Mikey replied. "But if they did, I'm pretty sure they'd agree with me. And seriously, Leo, you owe us some details."

"Mikey, we have more important things to discuss than my social life," Leo said shortly.

"But you totally—"

"_More important things, Michelangelo_."

Mikey snorted. "Killjoy. I hope you know that excuse is only gonna work till we're done with this."

Raph rolled his eyes. "C'mon, let's get goin'. Leo, get your ass in gear."

"Does anyone else find it at all odd that I don't get a say in this?" Leo asked rhetorically, looking mildly annoyed and largely bemused.

"No," we chorused.

"None of you are even half as funny as you think you are," Leo muttered, following Mikey and Raph reluctantly as they headed out the door. "Where are we even going?"

"One of our old storage warehouses is only a couple blocks away; I figure that's as good a place as any," Raph replied. "Besides, maybe you'll get some inspiration or another brainwave for this."

"Have fun, you three," I called after them sarcastically. "Try not to hit each other in the face; it'll be a little hard to explain black eyes at work."

Leo, Raph and Mikey glanced at each other.

"Yes, Mom."

* * *

I jumped slightly when the door rattled and opened. My eyes cut over to the clock, surprised to see it had already been a couple hours. I stretched, popping my back and hoping my brothers were in one piece. The fact that they'd been gone so long either meant it went badly or it…well, didn't go at all.

Raph came in first with the oddest look on his face; if I didn't know better, I'd think he was trying not to laugh. Mikey filed in behind him and I craned to the side a little, trying to see Leo and nonplussed when he didn't appear. "Where's Leo?"

Raph and Mikey glanced at each other. "He decided to go back to our place alone," Mikey offered carefully.

I groaned. "Oh geez. What happened? Do I even want to know?"

Raph gave a lazy grin. "Do you need a laugh?"

Oh, that was a loaded question. I looked over the two of them, noting what looked suspiciously like sawdust in Mikey's hair and dirt smeared over the front of Raph's shirt. "No?"

"Eh, we'll tell you anyway." Raph dragged one of the chairs out from the table, straddling it backwards. "Basically, news flash that isn't gonna surprise you at all: Leo will never make a good 'banger."

"Which is a good thing," I pointed out.

"Unless you're trying to impersonate one, which we are," Mikey pointed out. "He knows how the Purple Dragons fight, given how often we've gone up against them, it's just a matter of trying to stick to it. He's fine against one of us at a time, but once we sped things up…"

"Instinct took over," I filled in. It made sense; we'd all trained enough that we didn't even have to think to fight, and when things got serious, counterattacking was instinctual. It had to be, or we'd all have been dead dozens of times over by now.

"Yep. Then he'd flip one of us or do a tuck and roll or a joint-lock or something," Mikey piped in, scratching his head slightly, then shaking roughly once he saw the resulting cascade of dust. "Then Raph reminded him that it's like those exercises we used to do with Master Splinter, where we had to pretend we had an injury and could only use certain limbs or one kind of attack or something. That helped."

I glanced at the clock. "How long were you practicing?"

Mikey shrugged. "For about an hour. He's totally got it down with one attacker. By then I guess he was getting sick of it, 'cause that vein in his forehead started to do that twitching thing."

I winced. "And?"

"Well, the next time we rushed him, he definitely didn't use ninjutsu."

"What did he do?"

"He threw me into a crate," Mikey offered entirely too cheerfully. "Raphie here got used as a mop; Leo kicked his knees out from behind, grabbed his ankle, and slung him across the floor. Then he left."

I could feel my jaw drop. "He threw you into a crate? Like, pushed you into one?"

"More like grabbed him by the back of his shirt an' his pants an' chucked him through the air," Raph said with a grin. "It was awesome."

"Maybe for you. I'm pretty sure I've got splinters now," Mikey griped.

"And he threw you across the floor?" I asked, turning to Raph.

Raph shrugged like it was the kind of thing that happened every day—which, okay, yeah, it did used to happen to us fairly often in training. "It worked, though. He'll be fine. He went to go get some air, an' we checked on a few things around the warehouse before comin' back."

"And you can manage this fighting style alright, too?" I asked Mikey. "'Cause in all our years fighting the Purple Dragons, we've never seen any that are as…acrobatic as you usually get in a fight." It had been years since I'd had any real concerns about Mikey's skill, but his style…flamboyant was a good word for it.

He shrugged, working a piece of something out of his shirt. "I'll be fine. I tend to freestyle more than you guys anyway, but I promise I'll stay away from the flips."

I chewed on my lip in thought. He probably could handle it, and Raph…well, his style consisted of a lot of brawling anyways, so this was hardly a challenge for him. Still, the further into this we got, the more nervous it made me. There was just too much of a chance of us being recognized. Our fighting styles and our voices were distinctive, to say the least, and given that the Foot had fought us more than any other enemy, they stood the best chance of recognizing us. While Dragons would never think to connect human fighters with us, having little idea of the kinds of technology that exist beyond guns, the Foot would know full well that appearances aren't everything.

Basically, we needed every advantage we could get…I just wish the one I had in mind wasn't one that could work against us as well as the Foot.

"Donnie?"

I glanced up to see Raph and Mikey watching me, and I figured I might as well run my idea past them. "I've got something in mind, I just need to get your opinions on it first."

They shrugged. "Go for it," Raph drawled.

"I'll be right back."

Slipping into my room, I stepped over to my desk and plugged in the small, high-strength speaker I'd picked up from one of our dump runs. The idea I'd been playing with was infrasound, sound waves below the level of human hearing. At a low enough threshold—anywhere between zero and twenty hertz—sound waves vibrated at a level that humans couldn't hear, but they—we—could still be affected by it. Infrasound caused unease, nervousness, headache, a sense of foreboding, and in some cases, even hallucinations as the oscillatory waves caused people's eyes or ocular bones to vibrate, blurring shapes and creating the appearance of apparitions. If anything could throw the Foot off-guard enough to give us a distinct advantage in our impromptu raid, this could. I just had to hope that being aware of it would keep us from being unduly affected by it as well.

I flipped the switch on, waited for a few seconds to make sure it was working, and headed back out to the kitchen with my notepad. I could already feel the hairs on the back of my neck rising.

"Alright, I have a couple ideas, and I mapped things out a bit so that we'd have a better idea of the timeframes we have to operate within," I announced, forcing my voice to sound casual. "I double-checked the precincts nearby, and the closest is within ten minutes. Judging by other cases when officers from that station have deployed to calls equidistant from the station as the warehouse we're looking at, ten minutes is their best response time, with fifteen being more likely."

Raph snorted. "Given what we've seen over the years, my bet would be closer to twenty; it always takes 'em forever to show up. But knowin' our luck, this would be the one time they actually frickin' hurried somewhere."

I shrugged. "Who knows. Anyway, since we're planning to do this at night, after nine, in lower traffic hours, we should probably count on the ten-minute response time, just to be safe." Raph was staring out the window. "Raph? You listening?"

He stood and moved to the window, glancing outside. "Yeah, I heard ya," he said distractedly.

"What's up?" I glanced towards the window too, then remembered the infrasound and shook myself; I should know better.

He shook his head, his eyes narrowing. "…Nothing, I guess," he said slowly, coming back to us and settling in his chair reluctantly. "Just thought I heard something."

Mikey fidgeted in his seat, rubbing at his forehead. "You alright, Mikey?" I asked.

He shrugged uncomfortably, glancing at Raph, who was slowly clenching and unclenching his hands. "I'm fine, head's just a little sore from breaking that crate with my face. Doesn't matter. Anyway, you said it's what, ten minutes for the police to get there?"

I nodded. "Just about. I won't be making a distress call, just a report of hearing a disturbance, so I don't think they'll be trying to make their best time."

He nodded, fingers tapping erratically on the table. "Yeah. Raph's right, it's not like they ever had good response times to any of our fights. But…I don't know, this just…it seemed a lot less risky the first time we talked about it."

"In terms of what?"

"I dunno, just the whole thing. What if there are more of the Foot than we expect? Or what if there are cops out on patrol nearby, and your call gets transferred to them instead of the station? We'll have like…half as much time to beat up the Foot and get out of there."

"I've got an old police scanner that I can bring with me; I'll know where they're coming from," I assured him. Still, he had a point; what if the police _did_ surprise us this once by getting to the scene quickly? I'd have a chance of escaping notice, but Leo, Mikey and Raph—

I cut myself off. This was the infrasound. Okay, it was mostly the infrasound; this was still an undeniably risky maneuver, but we were working out the bugs. Still, the generated unease wasn't helping my confidence in the plan, and judging by the way Raph looked ready to either climb a wall or tear one down, my demonstration had probably gone on long enough. "But we'll deal with that when we get to it. For now, there's something I need to show you guys."

Raph shoved his chair back, jolting to his feet. "Later. I'm gonna go find Leo. He's been gone too long, an' he said he was gonna head back here after he cooled down."

"Trust me, Raph, it'll take two seconds. Just come on."

He grumbled darkly, but followed Mikey and me back to my room. Even though I knew to ignore my growing unease, even I was having a hard time talking myself out of vetoing this plan entirely. I shoved it off, ignoring the tension I could practically feel coming off of Raph and Mikey in waves, and stopped by the speaker. "Here it is," I said.

"It's a speaker," Mikey said carefully, like he thought he was missing something. He squinted at it. "Unless you turned it into a death ray or something?"

"No, it's just a speaker." I reached out to flick off the power switch and pulled the cord out of the wall for good measure.

"So what's the big…" Raph trailed off, blinking. He frowned and settled his shoulders, then glanced at us.

I smirked a little. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah, I guess, but what—" His eyes narrowed. "Wait, _you_ were doin' that?"

"Not me, the speaker."

"Dude, that was the speaker?" Mikey gave a full body shake, reminding me of nothing more than Klunk settling his fur. "Man, I was feeling like…Leo-levels of paranoid, plus a bad case of the heebie-jeebies. What was that?"

"Infrasound," I explained, gesturing them back to the kitchen. "It's sound beneath the levels that humans can hear, but it still affects us. It can cause physical discomfort, unease, even visual hallucinations."

"So what, you were just bored an' decided to test it out on us?" Raph asked sourly.

"No, that's what I wanted to show you. I'm sorry I sprung it on you, but that was the only way for you to see what it felt like objectively," I explained apologetically. "I want to use this when we go to the warehouse. Maybe not that speaker specifically—infrasound can come from almost any electronic device, even fans or air conditioners—but something similar. If I can bring that with me and set it up wherever I end up keeping watch, it should affect anyone in the warehouse."

"Includin' us," Raph pointed out, not looking thrilled at the idea.

"Would wearing earplugs help?" Mikey asked.

I shook my head. "No, because you're not really hearing it at all. It's the vibrations, not the sound, that affect people. Besides, we'll at least know what to expect and what's going on; the Foot will be off-balance. Infrasound isn't something you can pinpoint at all, and unless you know what's causing it, you have no way of identifying the source of the distress it causes. With this, the Foot will already be uneasy and at a disadvantage by the time you guys attack."

Mikey made a face. "What about you? Won't it screw you up, since you'll be closest to it?"

"I just need to remember what's causing it, and there's no real damage from close exposure for a short period of time. Besides, music can counter it, so if it starts taking longer than expected, or it's worse than I think it'll be, I can keep an earbud in one ear and my headset with you guys on the other. Even at a low volume, the music should be enough to block it out if it gets that bad."

"Oh. Well…cool." Mikey scratched at the back of his head, shrugging. "Then sure, I say we go for it. I'm not thrilled about getting the Twilight Zone feeling again, but can't argue that it's effective." He paused. "Hey. If this thing makes you freak out, get all paranoid and stuff, what if it gives Leo a heart attack? 'Cause I mean, he's already always paranoid, and if we ramp it up, I don't really see that helping."

I rolled my eyes. "Cut him a little slack, Mikey. This attack was his idea in the first place, and I'll show him what the infrasound feels like too. He'll be fine."

Besides, given the risks involved, a little extra watchfulness and caution on top of Leo's usual amounts couldn't hurt.

* * *

Two days later, after scouting out the warehouse and the numbers and schedule of the Foot ninja guarding it, we'd figured out the specifics of our plan of attack and launched it. It was still a lot riskier than I'd ever prefer, but I had to admit, it was hardly the craziest thing we'd done.

(Though we sure as shell had plenty of plans to choose from over the years, that honor still belonged to our assault on Foot HQ, in my opinion.)

But we'd covered pretty much every tactical aspect, with Leo and I hammering out the time estimates as accurately as possible while Raph and Mikey covered reconnaissance of the warehouse and surrounding buildings and went to find us "gang banger" clothing. By eleven o'clock Monday night, we were ready.

As planned, I'd gone in through the back with my speaker and set up on the catwalk in the warehouse ahead of my brothers, where I could provide distraction and an eagle-eye view of the situation. About five minutes after I gave the signal, Raph, Mikey and Leo would head in, seeming to stumble onto the warehouse or come across it while looking for a place to hide. They'd attack the Foot, hopefully wrap the fight up within ten minutes, I'd call the cops partway through and then we'd book. It was dependent on everything going according to plan, but it was still simple enough that we weren't at risk of overcomplicating things.

Which was good, because in my mind, we had enough complications as it was.

I sighed and shifted slightly on the catwalk, making sure I didn't lose feeling in my legs; I needed to be able to move if things went badly and I either needed to help my brothers or get the shell out of the warehouse. Even though the first part of the plan had gone perfectly, without any of the Foot noticing—and I couldn't believe, being ninja themselves, that they never once thought to look _up_—there was still a lot that could go wrong. Reinforcements could show up, Karai could decide to do a surprise inspection, she might have a business deal going on that we didn't know about…there were, unfortunately, lots of possibilities.

Still, I knew most of my unease was due to the infrasound, so I pushed it to the back of my mind, focusing on the situation at hand.

We'd guessed correctly about the range of ninja Karai was keeping on hand in her warehouses, or at least this one; seven Foot ninja ranged below me, all of them regular soldiers rather than Foot tech ninja, which was a blessing. The infrasound had been going for several minutes already, and the Foot were obviously agitated and trying not to show it, fidgeting and pacing and visibly tense to anyone who knew how to read a fighter. The best part was that they were unlikely to compare notes, because as far as they could tell individually, there was absolutely no reason whatsoever for them to be so anxious.

I checked the handheld monitor in front of me again, eyeing the readouts from the few sensors I'd had Raph and Mikey place around the warehouse. Infrared and motion detectors weren't registering anything other than three forms sitting motionlessly near the east wall, which I knew to be my brothers. I checked my watch and sighed; it was now or never. Pressing on my headset, I cleared my throat quietly.

"_Don? Are we set?"_

"All clear, Leo," I whispered. "Seven Foot ninja, standard soldiers. Three with katana, two with naginata, one with sai, one with daggers. Make sure you guys all have your weapons handy." We'd scrounged until we could find knives and pipes and chains for them to carry, because on the off chance that the Foot decided to draw steel on what were supposedly easy targets, they had to have something. "No guns in sight, or at least none within easy reach. Coming in the door, they're all located between nine and three o'clock ahead of you; three along the far wall, the rest all within five to fifteen feet from the door. And be ready for them to be the first ones to attack; they're pretty jumpy."

"_The infrasound is noticeable out here, too,"_ Leo replied opaquely, which I could translate into the three of them feeling just as twitchy as I was.

"It shouldn't be any worse inside here," I offered apologetically. "Go ahead."

My monitors showed the three of them moving away to gain some distance from the warehouse, then I could hear them arguing beyond the headset, their voices muffled through the walls. The Foot jolted to attention, finally catching the noise themselves a couple second later. I could tell from the voices that only Mikey and Raph were speaking, talking smack and trading insults. Raph was trying to tone down his accent for the sake of not giving himself away, while Mikey in turn was mimicking it to hilarious effect. Leo would just growl things at them occasionally, obviously too wound up to try and play along much.

They were raucous by the time they reached the warehouse, and I heard someone's boot hit the door. "Hey, there's a light on in here," I heard Mikey drawl, followed by a muffled curse from one of the Foot. I rolled my eyes; had they actually thought having a light on _wouldn't_ attract attention? "The hell you think's in there?"

"Do I look like I know?" Raph demanded.

"If you care, stop screwing around and open it up," Leo snapped. I knew at least half of the irritation in his voice wasn't faked.

Rattling noises came from the door; it hadn't been barred when we'd checked earlier, because why would someone block an abandoned warehouse? Security would only be suspicious. Still, it did have a basic padlock and chain to get through, and judging by the tooth-rattling din they were making, one of them—my money was on Raph—was just whaling on it with a rock or a brick or something.

Unsurprisingly, it was less than a minute before a clatter signified the lock had given up; not much could stand up to Raph when he was determined to level it.

Which the Foot were about to find out.

The door flew in, and I knew I was gaping a little when it swung open to show that Leo had been the one to kick it open. "Who the hell are you?" he growled, directing the comment to the room at large.

"Screw that, the hell are they wearin'?" Raph sneered, tossing and catching a brick in one hand while holding a pipe at his side with the other.

"Playin' dress up like they think they're ninjas or something," Mikey drawled, laughing. I rolled my eyes; he was obviously enjoying this.

Leo rolled his neck lazily, his eyes sliding over me in a quick glance. "What do you think they're here for?"

"Clowns like this? Just some idiots, probably." Mikey glanced around, making a show of peering at the boxes stacked around them. "Still, if they ain't…think we should call the rest'a the guys? See what they got here that's worth hidin'?"

That seemed to be the final straw; the Foot launched themselves forward, drawing curses from Mikey and Raph, who flung the brick he was still holding at the nearest one, less than a step behind it.

As much as the infrasound really was making me nervous, my first instinct when I was watching my brothers wasn't to be worried, but to laugh.

They looked ridiculous.

They'd used the weirdest of our old topside clothes and raided a Goodwill store for the rest, and they looked like refugees from a Good Charlotte concert. Mikey was wearing these baggy pants that were big enough for him to fit in one pant leg, and they ballooned out every time he spun or lunged. On top of that, he'd dyed his hair blue and spiked it and found a hideous purple sleeveless shirt to go with it all. Raph and Leo were slightly less absurd, with Leo wearing a long-sleeved jersey, torn pants and some chains, and Raph in the rattiest pair of jeans I'd ever seen—they had more holes than denim—a t-shirt with a dragon on it and a leather vest to top it off. In addition, Mikey had spent about an hour drawing Purple Dragon tattoos on the three of them, partial ones that disappeared under their clothes, and I'd run down to the corner store to grab some small clip-on hoop earrings to pass as nose, lip or eyebrow piercings.

None of them quite had a perfect handle on moving in the bulky clothes, though, so they stumbled or tripped or ended up bowling into the Foot more than once. Leo in particular seemed really annoyed with the whole thing, and I'm pretty sure I heard him swearing more than a couple times. Still, in its own way, I had to admit it worked fairly well to make them seem like nothing more than brawlers, even if it also lead to a few close calls.

And all together, I had to admit they made fairly convincing Purple Dragons. I snapped a picture with my cell phone, wondering what kind of revenge pranks I'd get from them if I shared the picture with April and Casey or Master Splinter. I couldn't help wondering what Master Splinter would think of their outfits—and our tactics, for that matter. What we were doing wasn't any stranger or more dangerous than some of the maneuvers we did under Master Splinter's orders, but I couldn't help but wonder what his decision would have been if he'd been with us. It wasn't that I doubted Leo, it was just odd to be making battle plans without Sensei…and even odder when I realized that we hadn't even stopped to consider what Master Splinter's plan might have been.

I didn't know how to feel about that.

It was right, though, wasn't it? We were going in the right direction, weren't we?

I shook it off, glancing at my watch. It'd been about five minutes, and my brothers were halfway through the Foot. We were still on schedule, but it'd be better if we could pick things up. Still, it was time for the next phase. The police scanner I'd been listening to had been pretty quiet, considering, with the closest mess—a residential break-in—still a good six blocks away.

I grabbed my cell and called the police station to report hearing a fight in a warehouse near the river, trying to keep the lies to a minimum and sound earnest, and not like I was setting them up. I didn't have to be worried about the sound coming from below me, since it just backed up my story. I was well aware of the fact that what we were doing was not really anywhere in the realms of legal, especially since we were trespassing too, but…well, desperate times and all that. Besides, it wasn't like I was calling the cops on anyone who didn't deserve it.

I flipped the phone shut, glad that I'd picked up one of the disposable models, and noted the time. We had ten minutes before the cops showed up in a best-case scenario, and judging from the chaos below…about five minutes of fighting left. I winced as Raph mule-kicked a Foot ninja right in the chest, sending him crashing backwards into a wall just as Leo tackled another, landing on top of him with a meaty thud.

Make that about three minutes.

Mikey, Raph and Leo were all down to their last opponent each, and all of them had fallen back on their improvised weapons when my nerves started tingling worse than they had when I turned on the small speaker I'd picked out. I glanced quickly out the window behind me, then towards my various sensors. Eight dots were approaching fast on the heat sensor, and I cursed when I switched the feed to the cameras.

Purple Dragons. Great. The plan had officially gone pear-shaped.

I chewed my lip, trying to think. I knew we could fight the Dragons, and much more easily than the Foot, but we couldn't spare the time it would take, not with the cops could be no more than five minutes away. Not to mention, my brothers probably wouldn't stand up under real inspection from actual Dragons in close range. I tapped on my headset. "Guys, we have incoming," I hissed. "Eight Dragons coming up on the door. Get out of there!"

"_Can't,"_ Raph muttered back. _"We run, we blow our cover."_ He swore, clothes rustling and a shrill clang echoing as he blocked a sai thrust with his pipe. _"And from the looks of things, some of our friends are wakin' up."_

"_I've got an idea, but you guys'll have to just roll with it,"_ Mikey said quietly, ducking down to hide the fact he was talking. _"Donnie, are they at the door?"_

The sound alone should have answered that. "They are right now."

Below me, Mikey suddenly stumbled, and the Foot he was fighting launched him backwards with a side kick. Mikey flew back, rolling and cursing. On the ground, it probably looked really convincing; from my viewpoint, I could see Mikey make a quick adjustment that changed the tumbling roll into a somersault that sent him straight for the Dragons in a head-on collision.

He bowled three of them over when he hit, and the swearing and yelps would have been enough to blister my ears if I hadn't lived with Raph all my life and been in countless fights with both him and the Purple Dragons over the years. Mikey staggered to his feet, shoving one of the Dragons off of him. "What the hell took you assholes so long?" he yelled, one hand rubbing his ribs. "We called Spike friggin' ages ago an' told him to get his ass down here!" It was the one name we knew for certain among the Dragons, and from all our fights, one we knew was still alive; or at least, had been a couple months ago.

The new arrivals glanced at each other, weapons coming out as Mikey's tattoo and the commotion inside finally registered. "What're you talkin' about? We didn't hear nothin' from Spike."

"I told that asshat we needed back up!" Mikey shouted. "These freakin' jokers are guardin' a whole stash of shit here, man; we told 'im to get more of the guys down here to help us get it, but that idiot said three of us would be enough!"

Either because Mikey mentioned the possibility of getting some loot, or because that was the kind of stupid move "Spike" did on a regular basis, that seemed to be all the more convincing they needed, because the newcomers launched themselves into the fight just as four of the downed Foot got back up.

Mikey dove back in, got knocked back again, and then slipped out of the door. Raph conveniently got thrown into a crate a second later, and as soon as the Foot he'd been fighting was distracted with another Dragon, melted into the shadows; I heard the squeak of the back door's hinges the same time I heard him swear quietly. Leo knocked his opponent into a crate, then ran over to him, shouting about there being weapons inside. The moment he started digging in the mess, another Foot bowled him over before being set upon by three Dragons, who picked up where Leo had left off. Leo slipped out after Raph with none the wiser, and the scene below devolved into chaos.

That was my cue. I shoved everything in my bag and grabbed the speaker, carrying it to the end of the extension cord's length before I turned it off and yanked it loose. The idiots below were probably too busy to notice the change, but I had to be careful. I threw the speaker in the bag and flew down the ladder, running out the back door and quickly wiping down the handle with my sleeve before shoving it shut.

My brothers were waiting at the back of the alley, and I waved them forward as I ran, all of us pouring on the speed as we picked up the sound of police sirens. Raph took the lead, more familiar with the area after scoping it out, and headed around the side of another warehouse before leading us through it. The shortcut lead out right next to the water, and we ran down the shore a couple hundred feet before coming to a stop at the edge of the district. A glance back showed red and blue still bouncing off the buildings behind us, and I could see a couple dark forms—Dragons or Foot, who knew—peeling off into the darkness.

Mikey started laughing, falling on his butt as he caught his breath. "Holy crap, I can't believe that worked!"

I snorted, my heart finally slowing. "That makes two of us. Nice job on the improv, though."

Leo shook his head. "That was way too close," he mumbled, the words muffled as he yanked his jersey off, settling his shoulders in the plain t-shirt he was wearing underneath. "We should have planned for reinforcements. But Don's right, that was quick thinking, Mikey."

Raph rolled his eyes. "C'mon, Leo, none of us could've seen that comin'. Still, you gotta admit it was perfect; the Foot will definitely think we were Dragons, what with the rest of those clowns showin' up to help." He shrugged out of his disguise, balling up the shirt and vest and handing them to me along with Leo's.

I set down my duffel bag, grabbing the clothes and handing Raph a nondescript shirt in return. "We cut things a little too close, though," I pointed out. Mikey passed me his shirt, which I also swapped for a different one; we'd brought regular street clothes to change into so that Raph, Leo and Mikey wouldn't attract undue attention on the way home. I grabbed some wipes I'd shoved in the bag too and passed them around, and the three of them started scrubbing at the temporary tattoos Mikey had drawn. "Another couple minutes and we'd have been caught."

"Everything we do is a couple minutes from being a disaster, Donnie," Mikey said cheerfully, oddly philosophical as he wiped the rest of the tattoo away. The temporary paint he'd used still left his skin slightly purple, but at this time of night, no one would be able to pick up on it. "Let's just be glad that for once, the random thing that went wrong worked in our favor."

Leo sighed, wincing as Raph scrubbed harder at his neck to clear off the rest of the paint that Leo couldn't see to reach. "You're both right. It did go unusually well, but I don't think this is something we should try again; the sewer attacks are one thing, but there are too many factors that we can't account for in a situation like this."

"Well, if Ms. Crazy Ass reacts like you think she will, we won't have to do it again," Raph pointed out. He dropped the cloth on Leo's shoulder with a smirk before using his own to smear away the rest of the mark on his arm. "She'll freak out on her own an' go after the Dragons, who'll probl'y do us a favor for once an' keep her occupied by snoopin' around here for the next week or so to see if she's hidin' anything else."

"Here's hoping," I muttered. I couldn't help feeling grateful that Leo had gotten this out of his system, and hoped this was the last guerilla exercise we'd have to do; we couldn't keep playing this game with Karai and expect our luck to last. I dug into the bag for the beanie I'd grabbed and shoved it down over Mikey's hair to hide the blue spikes. "I'll check the tape from my bugs tomorrow and see if I can pick up on what happens with the Foot once the dust settles."

"Sounds good," Leo agreed absently. He rubbed his neck with a grimace as he looked back at the warehouse, no doubt weighing what had happened and could happen. He seemed a lot more uneasy now than he had before we'd started. "All we can do now is wait to see the results. Let's head back."

Although coming down off the adrenaline rush had left me jittery, it was oddly relaxing to walk back home, watching Raph and Mikey pick at each other and discussing likely outcomes of the night's events with Leo. It was so strange to think that this was very nearly the most time we'd spent together recently, and I realized how much I'd missed it. Even this, with as much of a close call as we'd had, was familiar and comfortable, like the end of every patrol or training run we'd done over the years. It was a cool night, clear with the sounds of the city in the background and crowds of tourists and night owls still lingering, and it was interesting, if surreal, to see them from ground level rather than from above. Our life had been good as turtles, just not normal; it was good to have a reminder of that.

"Don?"

I twitched, pulled out of my thoughts by the quiet word, and glanced at Leo. "Sorry. What is it?"

He walked silently beside me for a few steps, looking ahead at Raph and Mikey. "I'm sorry about pushing for this," he said finally for my ears alone. "It was a lot riskier than it should have been, and I should have realized that beforehand."

I sighed and bumped him with my shoulder. "We've told you before, Leo, you can't control everything that happens. The plan was solid, and if the Dragons hadn't shown up, it would have gone exactly as expected."

"But they did show up."

"Yeah, and we worked around it." I bit my lip, then pushed out the words I'd been needing to say for a while. "I'm sorry, too, for getting on your case about this. It's just…these attacks, or misdirection schemes or whatever we're calling them, they're dangerous, and each one runs the risk of us getting caught or giving Karai a hint about the truth or even exposing ourselves by just saying each other's name," I said, continuing hurriedly when I saw Leo's shoulders hunching up. "_But_, I understand why they're necessary, Leo, I do. It's a good strategy. It's just that…just because I understand it doesn't mean I have to like it, you know?"

He looked at me sidelong for a moment, somehow managing to steer around the people coming towards him. "I do. It's not exactly something I really enjoy either."

Sometimes I wondered about that, if maybe subconsciously these remnants of our old life weren't more comfortable to Leo, times when he actually knew exactly where he stood and what to do. But I did believe that he regretted the danger and the necessity of these outings. "I know. I just…I wanted to leave this part of things behind, you know? This isn't exactly how I pictured us spending our evenings after the big change."

"To be fair, we did get dressed up to go out for a night on the town and meet other people," Leo pointed out, his voice dry.

I groaned. "You're spending too much time with Mikey."

"There's no such thing," the person in question interrupted, making a face at us from the turnoff for his and Leo's apartment.

Raph and I snorted at the same time, and I wondered if maybe we were spending too much time together too. "Agree to disagree," I said blandly. "Anyway, we still need to work on that list of yours, don't we?" I asked, changing the subject. "It'd be nice to do something together that didn't involve assault or breaking the law."

"But that's about 90% of all our family events," Raph drawled with a grin, ignoring the elbow I jabbed into his side.

Mikey laughed. "Good point. Yeah, I'll check the list and let you guys know what's left. G'night!"

We waved and headed back to our apartments, and even as much as I didn't want to repeat that night's outing, I missed it being the four of us again. "We need to do this more often," I mused. Raph raised an eyebrow at me in surprise and I shook my head. "I don't mean _this_, the guerilla warfare, but just…"

"Gettin' back to trainin' together," Raph finished. He nodded, and that was as close as Raph was willing to come to admitting that he had missed doing things as a group of four too. "We should talk Leo into a trainin' run sometime; if Casey of all people can jump rooftops, I know we can still handle it."

I laughed, not even wanting to protest how crazy of an idea that was, because just then, it sounded like fun. "Sure, why not?" I knew it was dumb, but I also knew from years of experience that people never, ever thought to look up; sometimes, the safest place in New York was on the roofs. "Hamato family outing: ninja tag."

Raph grinned. "I vote Mikey to be it."

"Seconded."

He glanced at me, an odd look on his face. "You're a lot less upset 'bout how this went down than I expected."

That was pretty subtle, for Raph. "I still don't like that we have to do this," I said honestly, knowing that had been obvious lately. I wasn't going to apologize for feeling the way I did, but…I also needed to remember that no one else liked it any better than I did. "This kind of stuff is supposed to be past us; we shouldn't have to do this anymore. But…but it went as well as could be expected, and might even end up being more effective than we thought, so…" I shrugged. "I'm trying, Raph; I just find it hard to support anything that jeopardizes this chance."

Raph shrugged back, his eyes flicking over the people we passed. "You got to give to get, Donnie; sometimes you have to take risks to stay safe. That's just how it is."

"Maybe, but I don't have to like it."

He snorted. "No one said ya had to."

I smiled slightly; he had a point. Raph had always been realistic about things, about our life and chances, but he'd also always been equally vocal about how much he thought they sucked sometimes. It was a good reminder that owning up to how things are didn't mean accepting them, it just meant knowing what you had to deal with.

I had no delusions that it was ever going to get any easier to balance our past and present, but just then…I didn't care. We'd had a successful night, had hopefully thrown Karai further off our trail, and I'd maybe gotten some proof that things didn't have to be quite as "either or" as I'd originally thought. We were still more skilled and better informed than anyone we came up against—cops, Dragons or Foot—and as for regular citizens…well, as much as people liked hearing about the absurd, they rarely believed in it. Even if we were ever seen, we'd probably just become another rumor, one of many. And I'd missed this part of our life, for all its dangers; our skills were a major part of who we were and…and maybe it was nice to see that we could possibly have it all. Or at least most of it.

There could be a balance; if we could survive twenty-odd years as mutant turtles in New York City, we could be human ninja too.

* * *

**Oroku Karai  
**

* * *

"I will see you again on Friday, then, Oroku-san."

I fought down the urge to gut the tidy, collected man in front of me, the same urge I'd been fighting for the past several weeks. "Indeed, Matsumoto-san," I managed, forcing a tight smile onto my lips. I waited impatiently for the elevator to reach the lobby. The only thing I wanted from this day was for the man beside me to die gurgling on his own blood. As I was unlikely to be so lucky, I would settle for returning to headquarters to thrash the traitors in my dungeons one by one in battle.

The elevator doors finally opened, and I preceded Matsumoto Seiichi out of them, trying to maintain my composure at the sight of the crowd in front of me. My patience for others had all but disappeared; the only people I could stand were my own forces, and at the rates they continued to disappoint me or betray me by running, even they were hard to stand at any length. But dealing with the bustle of brainless sheep that knew nothing and saw nothing and were content with it…my restraint was lessening day by day. But for now, I merely had to get to my car, and I could return to the dojo to vent my frustration on—

"Then I'll see you on Friday, Yuki-san."

I could swear for a minute that my heart paused in my chest. At the least, I know everything within me went very still.

That _voice_. I knew that voice, had promised to silence it forever.

_Leonardo_.

I could not help myself from glancing erratically around the lobby. No matter that I didn't have my sword with me, there was a short tanto blade in my briefcase and another strapped to my thigh; I had no preferences about what I used to kill him. If he was there, nothing could keep me from killing him, witnesses or no. I literally had nothing left to lose—not my father, not my forces, not even my company, soon enough—that he had not taken from me. And what ragged tatters of my reputation I had left would be paid gladly if I could just kill Leonardo here—

Here. Wait.

I needed to be calm. He could not be here, in this building full of people in the middle of the day. He could not pass for human in the slightest, and would never take such a risk. It was my nerves, humiliating as such a thing was, or a random daydream. I breathed out slowly, trying to calm the eager trembling in my hands. I was imagining things, jumping to conclusions because of a similar voice—

"Indeed, Leonardo-san. I will see you then."

A loud rushing filled my ears. It was him. I narrowed in on the voices in time to see a tall, dark-haired man standing with the bland, colorless woman that was sibling to Seiichi. She squeezed his hand, and he nodded at her before turning towards the door. With his back to me, I couldn't see his face, but that _voice_—

There was no helping the way my legs jolted forward, carrying me after Leonardo before my scattered senses could catch up. By the time they did, my lunge had turned into a graceless stumble, and Matsumoto carefully caught my elbow.

"Oroku-san, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I said breathlessly, barely restraining myself from jerking my arm out of his grip. I feigned a concerned glance down at the floor behind me, shoving down the disgust in my gut at the concern in his voice and my own impatience. I could not go charging after Leonardo here, not with so many witnesses. "A slick spot on the floor, that's all."

I looked up, tracking the man I'd pinpointed as he walked away from Matsumoto's sister, memorizing what I could. Tall, dark hair, broad shoulders. Damn it all, but I couldn't see his face, and he didn't turn around before he slipped out the doors. The gait, the set of his shoulders…except for the obvious change of him being human, it could be Leonardo. There were ways, after all, to fake appearances; hadn't I watched my father fool the world day after day, interacting with people who had no idea what lay beneath his skin? It could be a hologram, a device of some sort; Donatello was more than capable of creating such a thing, much as I hated to admit it. "That young man with your sister…he seemed very familiar with her," I said pointedly, knowing that he could not miss the insinuation in my voice.

"Ah, Leonardo-san? He is an employee, one I hired to accompany my sister in the city while I am here for business," Matsumoto answered casually, neatly ignoring the insult aimed at his sister. "He is a good young man, and has served as a guide for her during her time here."

"He must be a treasured employee for you to bring him all the way here for such a short trip." I had to find out who he was. Was I imagining things? Had I succumbed to the kind of madness that Stockman had? I had seen firsthand what losing parts of his life and body had done to the man, and I had lost so much more comparatively.

"Actually, he comes on recommendation of a friend of our family. It was a stroke of chance, one that turned out very well for us." He smiled and beckoned his sister once she spotted him. "Leonardo-san is a native of this city, and knows it better than any of my sister's guards would. She has been able to see much more of the city this way."

"Indeed. Well, we have to be grateful for such opportunities when they come our way." I settled my briefcase, aching to be gone and hunting. "Good day, Matsumoto-san."

"Good day to you as well."

I made for the door as quickly as I reasonably could, all but throwing myself into my car. "Were you watching the doors?" I demanded of my guards.

They glanced at each other. "Yes, mistress."

"A man came out, tall, muscled, with dark hair. Did you see him?"

Another shared glance, more nervous this time. "No, mistress. Many people came out and entered the building, I'm afraid we couldn't catch every one of them."

Of course they hadn't. No matter. Nothing mattered now but finding out if that really had been Leonardo, and then killing him.

"Back to headquarters, now. I want Chaplain to hack into Matsumoto Seiichi's database and find out whom he has employed as escort for his sister. Tell him I want him to check every phone book as well; if he is playing at being human, Leonardo will have to be on record somewhere. I want the name and address of every person named Leonardo in the city—in the state. It is to be on my desk by the time we return_._"

"Yes, mistress." One of them pulled out a phone and was already in the middle of a quiet conversation with Chaplain by the time we pulled out into traffic.

I settled back into my seat, my fingers clamped on the handle of my briefcase as I scanned the sidewalk. Was Leonardo going this way? Was he even now one of the many people we were passing by? Did he know I had seen him?

And most importantly, how was he human?

I grit my teeth. Now that I thought about it, there had been no hesitation or anxiety in his voice; he had not sounded cautious, or wary, or afraid of discovery. He had spoken with the same calm, the same arrogance, as always, as though he'd belonged there in that bright building, standing in daylight surrounded by people.

But he did _not_. Leonardo belonged in the darkness. He had no right. He was not _allowed_ to be in this part of my life. I didn't know how he had followed me, but he obviously had; how else could I explain the way he had gotten so close to me, securing the confidences of the very person who was trying to steal my business away from me?

The absence of Leonardo and his brothers made perfect sense now. With their father ill—or dying, as I occasionally hoped during idle hours—and the fact that they obviously knew I had my soldiers searching the sewers, they knew that they were vulnerable. Since they could not hope to win a battle alone, especially not with Donatello behind playing nursemaid, they'd apparently decided to attack from another angle.

I could not figure out how Donatello could have devised such technology. Yes, he had some skill with computers and vehicles, but that was the extent of it. He should not have the ability to create something to make them appear human, let alone have access to the proper materials. But apparently he'd managed somehow. The illusion, or hologram, whichever it was, had not even flickered when I'd seen Leonardo walk away.

No, wait. Matsumoto's sister had touched him, and there'd been no flicker of Leonardo's image, no shift or flash of green, and no disgust or confusion on the girl's face at the feeling of a hand with only three fingers.

My gut clenched. It wasn't a trick—it was real. Leonardo was human, living aboveground and walking the streets.

I couldn't allow it. He deserved death, not freedom. No doubt he had some feeble hope to get close enough to kill me, and then live quietly with his disgusting family, hiding in the city.

That was unallowable. Even the knowledge that Leonardo had gotten as close to me as he had without my notice paled beside the thought that he was thriving, that he had found something better for his life, that he was intruding in a world he had no place in.

The bite of my nails in the skin of my palms brought me back to myself, and I forced myself to take several deep breaths. I had to control my rage, to save it for later; too often now it overwhelmed me, and I couldn't afford that. I needed to keep my head clear and plan. I needed to find Leonardo and end him.

It took longer than I could stand for us to return to headquarters, and I stormed towards my office as soon as the car stopped. If Chaplain did not have the information I wanted, I would deal with him as my father dealt with Stockman. My scientist was greatly different from Stockman, but he could learn from pain just as well.

"Chaplain!" I strode out of the elevator into my chambers.

"Here, mistress!" He perked up beside my desk, reminding me of nothing so much as a particularly eager, stupidly loyal dog. He waved a sheaf of papers at me, nearly hitting the guard stationed behind my desk in his enthusiasm. "I found the information you wanted."

I took a seat, grateful that he had come through and, in a small way, that I did not have to maim him. "Tell me."

"Well, Mr. Matsumoto didn't have any information on the guy other than his name, no paycheck information or an entry in the employee database or anything like that. My guess is that he's just paying under the table, since it's not really an official job, y'know?" He nudged a piece of paper in front of me. "But I did get a name from his schedule a few weeks back."

I glanced down at the scribbled note.

_Meeting with Hitoshi-ojisan and Hamand Leonardo-san._

I sneered. Hamand, was it? Such a weak play on words, just a slight deviation from their real name…and yet, if I had seen it elsewhere, unconnected to Leonardo, I would have fallen for it.

My finger came down on the other name. "Who is this?" I demanded.

Chaplain grinned. "Way ahead of you, mistress! I figured you'd want to know that, and I have to admit, I was curious too, so I looked it up. It was kind of hard to find anything, but I found a guy named Hitoshi Kimura. Or—wait, if it's Japanese, it's backwards, right? So uh, Kimura Hitoshi, then. He runs a dojo downtown."

Kimura Hitoshi? If it was their rat sensei… "An old man?"

"Hm?" Chaplain blinked down at the paper in his hand. "Not really, mistress. Well, I guess old depends on your definition. He's in his fifties, lived here his whole life."

Not the rat, then. He must be the family friend Matsumoto had mentioned. "I want the address. I'll pay him a visit." Chaplain slid a second piece of paper to me with both an address and directions, and I had to fight a smile. He really was pathetically eager to please, and it was oddly endearing. "And Leonardo's?"

His face fell. "No luck yet, mistress. They're not listed in any phone book or online database. If you think they're here, though, I can try and check the DMV's records and see if I can find anything there."

I tried to tamp down on my frustration, reminding myself that Chaplain was still useful, as he'd demonstrated yet again, and would be less so if I removed one of his hands. "I doubt Leonardo would allow records of himself anywhere, but check if you feel it will be effective. Regardless, I know that Leonardo will be there again this Friday; even if you cannot find me anything, I will have someone follow him home." I shivered at the thought. Three days…three days and I might have the chance to kill Leonardo.

It would be a long week. I needed to prepare. Training my forces would be put aside; it was not as if my efforts had produced any results, as they all seemed incapable of improvement these days. I would focus on my own skills and ensure that they were at their peak. The last time Leonardo and I had crossed blades…

"Pardon the intrusion, mistress."

I startled out of my thoughts, and frowned at the Foot ninja kneeling just inside the door. "What is it?"

"I have—some news to report, mistress."

That damn hesitation again. No doubt it was yet another report of a failed search for Leonardo and his brothers, though at least now I knew why they had not yet been found. I gestured at Chaplain, dismissing him, then glanced back at my ninja. "Proceed," I ordered impatiently.

"One of our warehouses was infiltrated by the police last night."

I jolted to attention. "What?" I hissed. "Which one? How did this happen?"

He bowed his head lower towards the ground. "The guards at the warehouse by the docks, near the old cannery, were set upon last night. The warehouse was broken into, and when the others were perceived to be guarding something of value, they were attacked."

"By the Turtles? Or humans?" If they were trying to take advantage of the situation, Leonardo and his brothers might have instead given away their hand.

He shook his head. "Humans, mistress. About a dozen members of the Purple Dragons."

I froze, my surprise quickly giving way to rage. Obviously it had not been Leonardo and his brothers; they would never deign to fight alongside the Dragons. But that the Dragons would dare turn against me and trespass on my property—

I did not mourn Hun's death; he was a fool, a behemoth who ignored his brain in favor of other, larger, stronger muscles. He was loyal to my father, but only through fear and hope for the power he could gain by riding my father's coattails. But I would admit that his presence had at least kept the rabble gangs in line. Now, though, without a leader with loyalty to the Foot, those insects had apparently decided there was nothing to be gained in keeping their distance from my business. And worse, if one attack had been successful, more would be attempted.

"What happened?" I demanded.

"The Dragons were attracted by the light in the warehouse, and three of them broke in. Reinforcements soon followed and joined in the fight when the original group announced that there were weapons inside," he reported.

I frowned, thinking quickly. I could hardly be expected to remember what every one of my buildings housed, but I did not remember that particular warehouse holding weapons. "What weapons were there?"

He shook his head. "None, mistress; it was merely an assumption on their part, no doubt based on the fact that that is the only cargo they are familiar with. The warehouse was holding…special order technology and other specialty items."

A black-market shipment. Damn. I worried less about the Dragons attaining it, as they lacked the intelligence to use most of it, and more about the loss of revenue and that it would cripple yet another deal. "Did they get away with anything?"

"…No, the Dragons did not escape with anything," he said hesitantly.

I relaxed slightly into my seat, relieved. If they hadn't taken anything, then—wait. I processed the hesitation in my soldier's voice, and the careful wording.

The rush of fury surprised even me. I had reached my limit with this tiptoeing around; I would teach them to report as they should. If they could not use their tongues properly, I would take them.

My hand dipped down into my desk drawer, and a second later my shuriken lodged itself in the hand of the idiot hedging his words. He gave a short scream, clutching his hand and gaping at me as though he hadn't brought it on himself.

"When you come before me, I expect you to waste as little of my time as necessary," I hissed, holding his eyes. "I have no patience for the juvenile way you all withhold information from me, parceling it out in pieces as though I need the blow softened. When I ask you a question, I expect the entire answer immediately. Is that clear?"

"Yes, mistress," he gasped. "I apologize, mistress."

"Was anything taken from the warehouse?"

"Yes, mistress. The…the noise from the fight seemed to have attracted attention, and the—the police arrived as it was ending. One of our number was unconscious and left behind, though the others removed your mark from his uniform so that no suspicion could be directed to you." He swallowed heavily, his breathing harsh as he curled over his hand. "Most of the Dragons were captured, they believe, and…the police searched the warehouse," he said quickly, the words spilling out in a rush. "The cargo was seized, and our comrade and the captured Dragons taken into custody."

"Who was captured?"

"Tsumura Ken."

I tapped my fingers on my desk, running through the rosters in my head. I could not remember anything specific about a Tsumura Ken, beyond the fact that he had joined before my father was taken. "Will he talk?"

The ninja before me paused slightly, then tilted his head in an approximation of a shrug. "I do not believe so, mistress. I do not know Tsumura-san personally, but I can talk to those who do."

"Do so. Direct another team to find where my cargo has been taken. I want it back. Order some of the others to keep an eye on the police and find access to their communication channels, as well; we need to know if Tsumura says anything. If he seems inclined to talk, we will eliminate him. If not, the police can keep him; I have no need for soldiers who fall to the Purple Dragons of all people."

He bowed shakily. "Yes, mistress."

I glanced at him, eyeing the puddle of blood he'd left on the floor distastefully. "You may leave. Clean your hand, then return and clean this mess before it ruins the wood."

Another low bow. "Yes, mistress."

He slipped away clumsily, and I rubbed at my forehead. The downward spiral of everything was draining, but more than that, it fueled the rage that was always simmering just beneath my skin of late. I couldn't escape it, could rarely direct it towards anything productive.

But, with my dungeons overflowing with traitors, I _could_ and did vent it.

"Jin."

The guard and aid that constantly stood guard in my office slipped forward and knelt beside me. "Yes, mistress?"

"Go gather those responsible for guarding the warehouse we were discussing and assemble them in the training room," I ordered, pulling off my suit jacket and discarding the shoes I'd picked out for the day's meeting. "Tell them I wish to speak with them. I need to teach them what happens when they fail as they have, when they bring this kind of humiliation down on me by being defeated."

He nodded. "Yes, mistress."

I glanced down at the top of his head. I could remember a day when all of my soldiers had been like this, loyalty and smart enough to do as they were ordered without hesitation. While another might have quailed at assembling his comrades for me in my obvious anger, he understood that they had brought it upon themselves. "Good. Go."

"Yes, mistress."

My mind was full as I changed to battle gear, grabbing my katana and heading for the training room. There was much to do, much to plan for, and now even more to try and repair due to last night's debacle. I needed more information, about the police and their actions, but mostly about Leonardo and his brothers. I knew well which enemy was the biggest threat, but I also had to consider which one would attack first. On top of that, I now had to add the Purple Dragons to my list of problems; stupid as they were, we had worked together, and they would know which warehouses were mine and what to look for. I could not trust that pack of vultures to do as they ought and bow before a superior force, because their own numbers made them stupid and proud. I tightened my grip on my sword.

Too many enemies. They were hemming me in, coming from every direction. I could not even count on my forces to take any of them down for me, weak and useless as they had become. That had to change; their lives were mine, and their weakness reflected back on me.

It would start tonight. My father had had the right of it; for the slow and stupid to learn, some had to be made examples of.

And pain was an excellent teacher.

* * *

**A/N**: As always, concrit and reviews are greatly appreciated! :)


	16. Chapter 16

_**Disclaimer**: You ought to know the drill by now._

Yet another crazy delay! Sorry again for that, but things are going to start really picking up from here, so maybe that will help. And the next chapter is already planned out and partially written, so it should be posted sooner; I know I always say that, and even if it rarely happens, trust me guys, I try for it! ^_^;;

Anyways, thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: **Laughter****'****s****Tears,****Drunken****Boxer,****greshunkai,****Kallasilya,****TgabbyS,****mcmario,****meganechan720,****Rika24,****KriStALKaLEi,****Sabrinasidd,****Silver****Lightning****Blade,****cuzimaw3some317,****J-Kid,****Bamboo82** and **Hilly**, and to everyone who reads it and puts up with me and my ridiculous update delays. You guys make it so worth the time and effort, and I'll keep trying to speed up the updates as much as possible.

(And the first section isn't in any particular POV, just the guys' letters back to Master Splinter. As you can tell, I had fun with the strikethrough effect. :D)

(Edit note: ignore that previous note about the strikethrough effect; ffn refused to allow that piece of formatting, so those parts have been deleted.)

* * *

_Master Splinter,_

_Hey, I know it's a little late, but I'm writing back! I know Leo and Raph and Donnie are working on letters too; you do too, probably, since we're sending all of these together. You might not have even pulled mine out first (but you should, since I'm planning on snagging the envelope from Leo before he closes it and making sure mine is at the front)._

_Anyway, it's been a crazy couple of months. We all have jobs, by the way, which is awesome! And apartments, too. Leo and I are living together, and our place is really nice; I can sort of see the river from my window, and Leo's got his own personal mini balcony right outside his. I'm trying to convince him to take up gardening since we found a little bonsai tree out there when we first moved in (I named it Horatio). I figure it'll be good for him, y'know? Plus of all of us, he actually has the patience for gardening. Do you have any tips about bonsai trees? I dunno if Leo will ask you or not, but in case he doesn't, I know he'd appreciate some more info. He got a book from one of our neighbors, but, y'know, he obviously trusts your advice more than anyone's._

_So yeah, the apartment's great, and so is my job. Get this: I'm working as a video game tester! It's awesome. I know you're probably making the same face Leo did when I told him, but it really is a cool job. And I'm doing volunteering because of my job too, hanging out with kids at one of the hospitals nearby and just trying to keep their spirits up. I think they call it being a candy striper, which is weird, 'cause I don't have anything to do with candy, but Donnie says it's an old name from way back when. Anyway, it's cool, and there are some really cool kids there. It sucks, though, to see so many of them that are there for long-term; we're lucky that we're usually really healthy, huh? Especially since hospitals kind of give me the creeps; I think it's the smell, Sensei—way too many chemicals and stuff. It's like being in Bishop's lab, minus the buzzsaws and people trying to kill me, of course. That'd be bad in a hospital._

_Let's see, what else…oh yeah, we had some trouble with the Foot. Donnie picked up on them creeping around the sewer near one of the old Lairs, so we went and took care of them. Don't worry, they never even saw us coming—or going, really, since Donnie killed the lights. Then we took care of another group at a warehouse—dressed as Purple Dragons! It was funny as shell, Sensei, seriously, and actually kinda fun too. Oh yeah, that was because of a tip from an ex-Foot that we met; I helped this one kid who was getting picked on, and it turns out that his guardian's friend is an ex-Foot who ran for it. We're pretty sure he's okay; he said he's not willing to help us by giving a lot of information on Karai and the Foot, but that's because he doesn't want anything to happen to the buddies he still has on the inside. I think we can trust him, especially since his tip on the warehouse was legit. The others aren't too happy about it, Leo and Don especially, but Leo says we need to keep Karai off our trail since she's obviously already noticed we're not showing up anymore. It's frustrating, 'cause you know, why can't she just be cool with us being gone? But we'll get through it.  
_

_April and Casey are doing well; we don't see them as frequently, 'cause we're all super busy now, and because the Foot are still watching their apartment and Leo says they'll get suspicious if they keep seeing the four of us over there. Four's the magic Turtle number and all that. We actually don't see each other all that often, at least all four of us at once, either, with schedules and everything. I mean, we have dinner together a couple times a week, but when you consider that we've been living together all our lives, that's not really the same. I'm glad we decided not to get our own apartments, 'cause honestly, I think that would've sucked._

_It really is awesome to get to walk around the city and meet people and not worry about things anymore, Master Splinter. It's been so cool. We haven't made as much progress on our list of tourist things, but we're gonna work on it some more. There's a ton I want to tell you about, but it'd never fit in one letter, so I'm just covering the big stuff; I'll save all the little stories for the next time we see you. Stopping by to see you and the Ancient One in a couple months sounds awesome; let us know when he'll be by!_

_I'm working on my lesson too, but, you know, slow progress. It's hard to tell, y'know? Leo says I'm making progress, and since he's kind of a guru on responsibility and dependability, that's cool to hear. I'm trying to help him with getting used to things and working on his lesson, but...it's mixed progress. The whole Foot thing isn't helping, since it's hard for him to get out of the battle commander mindset when that stuff is still following us around. He's trying, though. Raph's helping too; they're getting along better now that they have some space, Raph especially. Donnie's doing well too, making a living off being a nerd, so it's like a dream come true for him. And he's dating someone! (But I didn't tell you that; pretend you're still surprised when you get to his letter.)_

_There's more adjusting than I thought there'd be, and things are…there shouldn't be this much drama, you know, Sensei? I know it kinda makes me sound like I'm ten again, but it isn't fair. We seriously should've been able to catch a break, but all this stuff is still hanging over us, and Leo says it's inevitable that it's all gonna hit the fan at some point, and I don't want him to be right but I think he is. But I think it'll work out, hopefully. Karai doesn't really have a lot of options since we're all out in the public and living in buildings with neighbors, so we just have to be careful and ready, I guess. (We're still training, don't worry; Leo wouldn't let us off the hook with that.)_

_Anyway, that's it from me. I hope you're doing well and having fun just chilling, Master Splinter, and that your cat neighbors are warming up to you. Oh, and how'd the visit go with the lady you mentioned? Hopefully she didn't freak out or anything. Stay out of trouble, and we'll talk (or I guess write) again soon!_

_Love, Mikey_

* * *

_Master Splinter,_

_Sorry about how long it took me (well, all of us) to respond; as you can probably imagine, things are pretty hectic around here. It's weird, in a way, because I'd always thought that our lives were busy before, since every day went by so quickly: training, practice runs and patrols, visits to the dump, all the maintenance and repair work we had to do around the Lair, and then whatever trouble we'd gotten into that week. I guess I kind of thought that things would be quiet, or that I'd have all this free time without that stuff happening, but I really don't. Work is pretty much 8-5, though sometimes I get home a little earlier if I finish my calls for the day ahead of schedule or if I don't have as many. Oh right, it'd probably make more sense if I explained; I'm working at the Geek Squad. I visit people's houses or various businesses and repair their computers, basically. It's not glamorous, but I kind of like it, and I'm good at it, and I need the experience. The tech work I'd like to get into requires a lot more experience than I have—or at least, more experience than what I supposedly have on my resume. Anyway, work takes up most of the day, and then it's stuff like dinner or getting groceries (which, I have to admit, is actually kind of fun now that we're really going grocery shopping). I still have some time to work on my own projects, just not as much as I'd expected._

_Raph and I have a nice apartment, not too far from Leo and Mikey in the grand scheme of things. I have to admit, it could probably be cleaner, but between the hours we both keep, and how much room some of my projects take up…it could use some work. It's no worse than my lab's ever been, though, so there's that at least. Oh, and I'm…kind of seeing someone. Dating, I mean. It's nothing serious, but she's really interesting—her name's Nikki, by the way—and she's also into engineering. I'm being careful about not telling her too much, don't worry. Raph and Mikey, unsurprisingly, aren't wasting any opportunities to tease me about it._

_It's a little weird not being in each other's space all the time, all four of us. Raph and I are getting along pretty well, fortunately, and I can tell the space has really been good for him. He just seems a lot less on edge. The pressure to fit in and conform seems to be getting to him, though. I don't think he's ever going to understand the way most humans would rather fit in than stand out or act out, and that's probably for the best; he wouldn't be Raph otherwise. Mikey, of course, loves every day of this. He seems a lot happier now that he can get out and have some room and see people. Leo's still adjusting. Sometimes I think living with Mikey is one of the only things keeping him from just staying inside all the time, though. It's hard for him to deal with how many people live in New York. Not that I blame him; you don't really realize how—well, crowded the crowds on the sidewalk are until you're in them. He'd probably have an easier time letting go of the past if it would let go of us, but no luck._

_We've run into the Foot a couple times this month, Sensei. I suppose if you want to be technical, we started it. My sensors picked up on them snooping around one of the old Lairs. Leo said it was to be expected, because Karai wouldn't have been happy just knowing we'd disappeared without knowing whether it was for good or not. I wanted to just leave it alone and let them spin their wheels, but he pointed out that she might go after April and Casey next, and she probably would. So we led a guerilla assault on them in the sewers and acted out a little misdirection scheme to make it seem like we'd been gone because you were sick (sorry), and as far as we can tell, she bought it._

_Actually, though I said "we"…I didn't go. I stayed behind to do surveillance and make sure reinforcements wouldn't show up, but mainly…I wanted to be done with this, Sensei. We were supposed to be done with this, and I feel like I can't talk to the others about it because they think I'm just—I don't know, trying to deny who we used to be. But we aren't just warriors; we didn't start fighting enemies until we were fifteen. That means we've only been fighting for six years, not even half of our lives. We aren't just warriors. I don't want to just be the culmination of our past. I don't want to just be a warrior. And I don't want to have to apologize for not wanting that. I'm not ashamed of who we used to be, Sensei. I'm trying to hide it, yes, but that's because we have to, because we know what humans do to those who are different. I wanted this for the opportunities, but also so I could leave the fighting behind. And sometimes it feels like Raph and Leo and Mikey don't remember that we haven't always been fighting, that by wanting things to be peaceful, I want things to go back to the way they were before the Shredder and the Foot and all the other dozens of enemies we made after that._

_Sorry. I didn't mean to turn this into a rant, it's just…I'm trying to do what you told me, to be my own person, and I don't think they understand that. Not yet, at least. I'm mad that we have to do this, the sneak attacks and everything, while we try to throw Karai off our trail, but I do understand why it's necessary, and it seems to be working so far, so I guess it's worth it._

_It's weird to be going through a crisis without you, but I'm glad you're not caught up in this one. I'm trying to help end this quickly and without yet another battle, but Leo seems to think that's inevitable, even though there's no way for Karai to target us without risking her reputation and exposing herself. But she's actually losing her business soon—and in a sick twist of fate, Leo's new boss is the one buying it—so I'm hoping that doesn't make her think she has nothing left to lose. It's kind of a headache. Keep your fingers crossed that everything works out._

_It's definitely different from how I thought it'd be, living like this. I'm still glad we made the change, I just…wish it'd gone how I thought. I hope you're doing well too, Master Splinter, and enjoying a lot less drama than we are. Are you feeling well? Hopefully the change in atmosphere and weather isn't affecting your bad leg too badly. I'm glad you're enjoying the change of scenery. It'll be nice to visit; I've been really curious about that place since Leo told us all his stories about it. Just let us know when the Ancient One will be there and I'm sure we'll be able to get away for a few days to visit. I miss you, Sensei, and I hope you're doing well._

_Love, Don_

* * *

_Master Splinter,_

_Hope you're doin' well up in the mountains, gettin' your Zen on or communin' with nature an' everything. We're doin' well, stayin' out of trouble, too, so don't worry about that. Parts of the whole bein' human thing are still weird, but they're gettin' less weird bit by bit. Mikey loves it, of course; can't say I blame him. It's been good, really. There's a lot to adjust to, but things are smoothin' out. I think Don's still realizing that we don't have to be as paranoid as he is. I think he expects everyone to look at us an' see all the ways we're weird, but seriously, give 'em the most basic explanation an' they just run with it from there. It's kinda unbelievable how much people assume, Master Splinter. I mean, the place I'm workin' now—same garage as Case, which is about as crazy as you're thinkin'—the guys I'm workin' with wanted to know where I came from, stuff like that. All I told 'em was that we lived outside the city, but still visited pretty often, an' we'd been home-schooled. Gave 'em the story we'd worked out. An' seriously? That's all it took; they bought it. I thought it sounded stupid when I was sayin' it, but one of 'em said they'd "heard of somethin' like that before," an' suddenly it was less weird._

_All the people in this city—heck, everywhere, prob'ly—it just seems like they don't wanna look beyond the surface of anythin', like they're afraid of screwin' up the status quo. As much as they all go nuts for conspiracy crap or gossip or whatever, they don't think to look right next door for it. Don was right about us bein' safer like this; there's so many people you see every day, but hell, you don't ever talk to more'n six of 'em. The people you pass on the street, they got no reason to think you're anythin' other than some other guy. The people I meet at work, they don't ask a thing; if you're workin' a certain job, people assume you know what you're doin' an' don't bother to check. Blows my mind if I think about it for too long, the way it all snowballs. All it takes is a couple people bein' fooled by some paper tellin' 'em you're who you say you are, an' you're in. From there you get a place to live, a job, an' you just do your stuff day to day, an' no one thinks you're anythin' other than what you say you are, just 'cause you said it. I mean, that's how it worked for us. I'm not complainin', it just…I don't like how that works in other areas too. Like if somethin' ain't their problem or their business, they aren't gonna ask any questions or raise a hand to change things or help someone. I can't stand that. Don says I'm bein' too hard on people as a whole, "judgin' them on the inactions of a few," but I just call it as I see it._

_Whatever. It's obviously not somethin' that's gonna change anytime soon. Anyway, I'm good, Donnie and Mikey are good, and Leo's…Leo. Or he's tryin' to be. He's havin' a harder time findin' his new balance than any of us, him included, expected. But he's tryin'. The one thing I don't understand is why you didn't start him on this earlier, when it would've been easier for him. When you told us you weren't gonna be makin' the change with us, you said you'd been thinkin' about retiring, as Mikey calls it, for months, almost a year. If you were, were you gonna give us the same final lessons? I mean, if this chance hadn't cropped up, an' we had just stayed turtles, were you planning tell us to let go of the clan hierarchy thing and focus more on the bein' brothers thing? Because if you were, if you were plannin' on leavin' even back then—an' I'm not judgin' you for it, 'cause you sure as shit shell deserved to retire—but if you were thinkin' it even then…then you shoulda told Leo to start tryin' to be just Leo as soon as you thought that, Master Splinter. If he'd had a chance to work on changin' in one way while everything else was still familiar, I think it woulda been a lot easier than it is now, when he's tryin' to change himself and adjust to everything else that's different. He doesn't know what parts he's supposed to get rid of or how to be him without bein' who he was, and he's learnin', but it's—you shoulda let him start bein' himself a while ago._

'_Cause if we had stayed turtles and stayed down there…I don't know when, but at some point I would've had to go, Master Splinter. I can see that now. Even just goin' back to the sewers long enough to beat up a couple Foot patrols, I know I can't go back to that. An' more than that, I couldn't have lasted down there much longer. I would've had to go, an' that woulda been a problem for Leo, 'cause I think he needs all three of us to remind him of who he was and is other than Fearless._

_I don't…I guess I don't know what I'm tryin' to say, other than that you shoulda told Leo to start doin' things he wanted, not things we needed, a while ago. It shouldn't have mattered whether we were still fightin' the Foot or whoever every other week; that never stopped me or Mikey or Don from doin' stuff we wanted, an' it shouldn't have stopped Leo, either. You had your reasons for all of it, an' it was for us, an' I know that, I just…I don't get some of it. I just…I dunno. This ain't the kinda crap I can talk about in a letter._

_Anyway, like I said, we're all fine. Fittin' in, doin' well, all of it. The Foot have noticed we're gone, but I've rambled enough already an' I know the others have prob'ly told you all about that anyway. I dunno when things'll hit the fan with that, but we'll keep you posted. Hope you're doin' well, an' stay outta trouble._

_Love, Raph_

* * *

_Master Splinter,_

_How are you doing? Hopefully things are going well. I know it can get awfully quiet up at the Ancient One's home, but I know the peace is worth it too. We're all doing well here, considering. I'm willing to bet the others have got you updated on everything that's been going on, so there shouldn't be too much for me to add._

_We were really lucky, what with all of us managing to find jobs and apartments so quickly. Mikey loves his, naturally, and I think Raph does too, or is at least content with it; working at the garage, he still gets to see Casey a lot, which could be either a pro or a con. Don…it's weird to see him as a repairman, when we all know he can do so much more. I'm…a sort of tour guide, oddly enough. I met a man in the city, Hitoshi-san, and he introduced me to the son and daughter of a friend of his. They're in the city for business, so I'm showing the daughter—Yuki-san, she's very nice but rather quiet, her brother is Seiichi-san—around the city so she doesn't have to just sit and wait around. It's nice, in a way, but really surreal. And now suddenly, it's dangerous too, because the business Seiichi-san is here to buy is Karai's. I know, the chances are ridiculous, but there they are. I'm trying to predict what Karai will do, but it's like trying to play chess without being able to see where your opponent's pieces are on the board._

_We're alright, though. Nothing has happened yet. We're trying to throw Karai off, keep her occupied with searching for us in the sewers, distract her with the Purple Dragons (long story; Mikey was snickering when he wrote his letter, so I'm pretty sure he mentioned it), and just…buy some time. The other don't really like it, not that I do either, but we don't have a lot of options; we don't have the shadows to hide in anymore, so it's not like we can just break into Foot headquarters and attack her. We can't risk it, not when we can be recognized and found now, and I don't want to risk losing these new lives; I don't think any of us would handle it well._

_Looking at Mikey and Raph and Don now, I wish we'd have been able to make this change years ago. I know it might not have worked out, given the battles we had going on, but seeing them now, I really wish this chance had come along sooner. Mikey just kind of…bounces everywhere now, in getting a chance to see and talk to people. He's growing up a lot too, which is easier than I thought it would be, both for him, and for me to see. You're right; we really haven't given him enough credit, because he's always risen to the occasion when it mattered. I guess I've just…never understood how he could switch off like that, be ready to fight when the time comes but leave it behind when it's over. He's stronger than me like that. Raph is getting back to the way I remember him when we were young, before he realized we had any boundaries. Sometimes I think the novelty of not being angry all the time almost unnerves him, but it's great to see. And I know Don enjoys the peace, though I also know he wishes it had stayed permanent. He's angry about it, about the Foot somehow managing to find us again. We all are, though I think Raph, like me, is mostly just resigned to it. It stopped being surprising years ago, you know?_

_I can't help but wonder if it's inevitable, Sensei. Are we destined for this? Are Karai and I meant to end things? Mikey says we aren't, told me it's something we'll end as brothers…but I can't deny that I'd almost prefer it if it just came down to me and her, just one last fight to end it all without him and the others being at risk again. I wouldn't ever try to exclude them, not when they've earned the right to end things just as much, but it would definitely be…tidier, I guess is the best way of putting it. Don doesn't want to hear it when I say it'll probably come down to a fight again, and Mikey doesn't want to hear that maybe this was bound to happen no matter what form we were in, but I…I can't help but feel that's the truth of it, Sensei. I'd never want this to be my destiny, or the others', but how else am I supposed to see it? Of all the jobs in the city, I found the one that was guaranteed to make sure my path crossed with Karai's again. I can't help but feel like it's also just a matter of time before something happens that forces me to talk to her, or Seiichi-san (my boss) will introduce us, or just…something, and it'll all start all over again. I don't want to be the reason our new lives get screwed up, Master Splinter, but there's nothing I can do to stop it._

_I'm working on the lesson you gave me, but I can't I don't know how it's harder than I thought it would be. I don't know how I'm supposed to trust other people with Mikey, Raph and Don. Letting them grow up…that's easier, I guess, because I don't have a choice in the matter. Sometimes Mikey and I go two or three days without seeing Don or Raph, because our schedules are just so busy. It seems wrong, but at the same time, I know that the distance at least means I'm doing what you told me to. I can't smother them if I'm not there. And seeing them now, the ways they're stronger than I am, that makes it easier too. I know they'll only get stronger from here, more confident, drawing more people to them, and they'll be fine. More than that, someday everyone will get to see how great they are. But I still don't know how I'm supposed to be someone separate from them. You never taught me that. You taught me, taught all of us, that we are one, that we're family, and that's all I've ever known. Master Splinter, I don't know how to be just one; I've only ever known how to be one of four.  
_

_I'm trying, Sensei. That's all I can really say._

_I hope that the Ancient One's home is exactly what you needed, and that we'll see you soon. Keep us in your thoughts; however things fall out with Karai, I doubt it'll be anything but messy._

_Love, Leo_

* * *

**Suzuki Akito**

* * *

I shifted slightly, grimacing under my mask as yet another bead of sweat wound its way down my back, creeping slowly between my shoulder blades. The Foot uniforms were not meant for surveillance work in the middle of the day, but no one told the mistress 'no', and she wouldn't hear of anyone venturing out in regular clothes; too many had already deserted using such methods, desperate enough to take their chances.

It hurt that my mistress didn't believe in my loyalty enough to allow me to go out in normal clothes. I had no intention to run; regardless of how things went, I would stay until the end. 'The last rat on the sinking ship,' Uyani had called me, before I had slit his throat, ending yet another ill-fated, cowardly attempt to desert the clan. Still, being able to blend in with the crowd would have allowed me to get closer to the shop that the mistress had her eye on. It was well known that the shop belonged to the Turtles' allies, the O'Neil woman, and if I were able to walk around in regular garb, I could easily slip inside the store and scope it out, in addition to planting an audio bug.

But the mistress's orders were absolute, and so I would do as I was told, no matter how uncomfortable I was. After all, it wasn't my place to complain. Still…my mistress was not there to see me, and while I would never disobey her orders, simply taking a breath of cool air was not disobedient. As it was, I felt that if I stayed in my stifling mask a minute longer, I was going to pass out, and then I'd be of no use to anyone.

I slipped back from the edge so as to not attract attention with my movement and peeled my mask up with a sigh of relief. Just feeling the fresh air on my face was a marked improvement. I would only take a break for a scant couple of minutes; the O'Neil—or rather, Jones, these days—woman was busy with a customer anyway, and was unlikely to receive a visit from one of the Turtles in the middle of the day, let alone with outsiders around. I took another deep breath, relishing the breeze I could feel without my mask in place.

A second later, something hit the back of my head and slammed my face down into the roof. The impact stunned me, sending my vision spinning, and I could barely focus well enough to clumsily throw an elbow backward, aiming for my attacker. A steely grip closed around my wrist, blocking me easily, then yanked my arm clean out of its socket. I choked back a yell as my head was bounced off the rooftop a second time, nearly blacking me out. My vision darkened and I lost track of things for a moment. When I came to, I was flat on the roof, my arms tied behind me. My mask had been rucked up over my eyes and rotated so that I stared into black fabric rather than the eye-holes, and a foot pressed heavily into my shoulder blades. I grit my teeth as the side of my face was ground further into the grime of the roof, hot with embarrassment. How could I have been taken so completely by surprise? "Who are you?" I demanded. "How dare you attack me?"

"You're kiddin', right?" a harsh voice drawled derisively. "You're sittin' in broad daylight on a roof in the middle of frickin' New York City with only the saddest attempts at hidin'. You're _askin__'_ for it, asshole. As for who I am…even you oughta be able to figure that out. I didn't hit ya that hard."

I felt my heart drop to my stomach, which had simultaneously shriveled up to half its size. It was a Turtle, and if I recognized the voice correctly, it was the one I least wanted to meet. All of them were threats, but it was well known that Raphael often…_enjoyed_ making things as personal, and painful, as possible.

"Raphael. What are you doing here?"

"What, like you've never seen us on the roofs before, moron? You aren't the only one who knows that humans are too stupid t'ever think of lookin' up."

"Indeed. I'd say it was a pleasure, but—"

"But I don't have any patience for bullshit, so save your breath," he sneered. "You guys are just some real slow learners, aren't ya? All the times we've come over here an' kicked your asses, an' you still haven't figured it out yet that you really need to piss off."

"We are loyal to our mistress and obey the orders we're given," I snapped, trying to surreptitiously move my head against the rooftop to drag my mask up and catch a glimpse of my attacker. This was a perfect chance to see if it was true that the Turtles were now human. The mistress had said something about seeing Leonardo, and while it seemed outrageous, she had seemed sure, which was enough for me. If I could confirm for her whether Leonardo was the only one of the Turtles to have gone through such a change, it would gain me great favor…and these days, the mistress's favor was more desired than ever, even if it no longer lasted quite so long.

Unfortunately, for being nothing but a brawler, Raphael was smart, and stood in my blind spot in addition to having blinded me with my own mask. I raised my head suddenly in an attempt to catch the turtle off-guard, hoping I could at least make out his outline through the mask's fabric, only to have what felt like my own equipment bag dropped on my face. A second later, the business end of a sai was placed right against my throat and my dislocated arm was wrenched even farther back.

I decided to put my head back down.

"So. You finally decided to crawl out of the sewers, then. Going for a walk?" I asked, injecting as much bravado into my words as I could, though the effect was somewhat hampered by the canvas bag muffling my words. The side of one prong of the sai slid along my throat and I swallowed reflexively. I was outmatched, much as I hated to admit it.

"And lookin' to do a little community service, among other things," Raphael drawled. A moment passed, then the bag was shoved back slightly from my face. "What about you? You cowards normally prefer to move in packs…or did Karai finally let you off your leashes?"

The derisive disdain in his tone as he said my mistress's name made me snarl. Her name shouldn't even be in his mouth, but if it was, it should be spoken with reverence. "You will speak of her with respect," I hissed, fighting against his grip.

"Or what?" he asked, tone sharpening again as he casually bounced my forehead off the roof yet again. "You gonna jump me? Teach me a lesson when you've only got one good arm, and when you decided to hold a stakeout with no surveillance of the buildings around you _and_ your back to an unguarded stairwell? Please. I don't respect lunatics, 'specially ones that target my friends."

"It's no more than they deserve for consorting with filth like you."

I couldn't help my surprise when he chuckled, but the sound chilled me. "You guys really are morons, aren'tcha? I just handed your ass to you in under a minute, but you're still sittin' here shootin' off at the mouth, even when we both know I could spend the next half an hour breakin' every bone in both your hands, an' there's not a damn thing you could do about it. Twenty-seven bones total in the human hand, didja know that? Each. Learned that from Donnie. That means 54 bones total. We'd be here a while."

I opened my mouth to put him in his place, then snapped it shut. I needed to keep a clear head and be honest with myself. Galling as it was, Raphael was right; not only did he have the perfect opportunity to do so, I imagined he'd take a great deal of pleasure in maiming me as well. Were our positions reversed, I know that I would.

"Then what are you waiting for?" I knew I was treading a dangerous line, but there was (theoretically) a small bit of hope left. If Raphael had wanted me dead, I'd have likely known nothing past the first time my face hit the rooftop, but since I was still breathing, he wasn't finished with me. He either simply wanted to level yet another threat to cease watching the Joneses, or he had some sort of personal message he wanted carried to the mistress. My money was on the latter, because in the past, the Turtles had always attacked us in pairs in their attempts to dissuade us from our surveillance; that Raphael was here alone led me to believe that his brothers didn't know he was there, and that he had something to say that he didn't want them hearing.

"C'mon, you've been out here watchin' the place for at least two hours, you oughta have enough patience to wait a few more minutes to find that out."

Even in the heat I felt a chill ripple across my skin. I'd been on the roof nearly three hours, which meant he'd been watching me almost since I'd arrived, waiting for me and taking advantage of a single moment of weakness. When had Raphael, of all beings, developed such patience? "Waiting for your brothers?" I asked in order to keep myself from getting more anxious.

"No point in riskin' them out here too for a piece'a shit like you. Just waitin' for some…friends to show up."

"_You_ have friends?"

A snort. "Nice attempt at bein' insultin', but that might've worked better if you hadn't been spendin' all your time up here stalkin' people 'cause you _know_ they're our friends. No wonder we outmaneuver you all the time; it's a wonder you all haven't died playin' in traffic. Karai must really be down to the dregs now, huh?"

I couldn't handle any more disrespect. I bucked wildly, trying to dislodge him and only succeeding in shifting the foot on my back a few inches. It was impossible to reach him with my feet, and my hands were useless, tied back as they were in addition to my abused shoulder. He simply grunted slightly at the motion, then a split second later my bag dropped back down on my head before Raphael leaned his weight down on it.

I'd been hot before, and that quickly changed to stifled, all the air seeming to be pressed out of reach of my lungs by the heavy bag and the clinging material of my mask. I thrashed, trying to pull away, but a knee joined the foot on my back, and I had no leverage. Spots started winking into existence in my vision before the bag was pulled away.

For several moments I couldn't do anything but gasp, filling my lungs and trying not to pass out. Beyond that, I tried to think of anything to salvage the situation, and I was coming up with nothing. I couldn't even say for a fact whether Raphael was human or still a turtle; I hadn't seen him at all and couldn't remember feeling his hands either. That he was out during the day was suspicious, but he'd kept his voice low as we'd talked, and given the proximity, I would guess he'd been crouched beside me the whole time, trying to stay below the edges of the building. Even if I survived this, I would have nothing to take back to the mistress but guesses and failure. And if I returned in such a manner, having been bested by one of the Turtles so easily, I would likely not survive it at all.

"You gonna behave now?" Raphael asked condescendingly.

"I'll see you and your brothers dead," I rasped in reply. "All of you."

"You couldn't kill us if we handed you a sword an' ran at it headfirst," he sneered. "Besides, where you're goin', you won't even be able to find us anymore."

I froze. Now we came to it. "And where exactly is it that I'll be going?"

"I'll give you a hint, see if you can figure it out," Raphael said in reply. "Listen real hard, an' tell me what you hear. Even for you, it should be obvious."

My gut churned—equal parts rage and creeping worry—at the satisfaction in his voice, but I tried to focus. There was the ever-present hum of traffic, pedestrian and automotive. Voices occasionally floated up as well, twining together in an indistinguishable murmur. And over it all…the familiar shriek of sirens, drawing closer and closer.

The heat was suddenly inconsequential as ice shot through me. "You didn't."

"Figure it out yet?" The taunt was obvious in his words.

"You cannot end the battle yourself, so you call the police?" I hissed, struggling to no avail.

"What battle? I haven't seen anythin' even close to resembling a battle, just me kickin' your ass. We both know I could've ended you from the minute I landed on this roof," he rumbled in reply, his voice low beside my ear. "But me an' my bros, we've noticed that you guys are really slow learners; no matter how many of you we beat the crap out of, you keep comin' back. So I figure it's time to try gettin' you outta the way for good, one at a time. Plus, I figure it'll entertainin' as hell to have the cops haul you away, an' then see how Karai tries to explain some stalker creepin' on people's roofs with the mark of her company right on his chest."

The sweat started trickling down my back again as the sirens halted in front of the building, followed by the faint slam of car doors. My heart raced as I realized he was serious, despite it being a violation of how shinobi affairs were supposed to be conducted. "You should know better than to drag these affairs into the light with outsiders," I snapped.

"I didn't call anyone," Raphael said carelessly, his tone offhand as if this wasn't massively unnatural. "But we made a new friend the other day, who happens to know the cops, an' just…mentioned that we happened to see people here pretty frickin' often. I just got lucky today, that Karai sent someone clumsy enough to attract attention. All I had to do was watch an' wait, hangin' out on the other side of the roof behind the stairs; 'bout half an hour ago, someone at the next building over was hangin' out their window and saw you—like it was really that hard. One freaked out bystander, one phone call about someone on a rooftop who might be a sniper, an' hey, here come New York's finest. Matter of fact, they ought to be up the stairs any minute now, so I'm outta here. Have fun explainin'."

He'd always been far too cocky. "I will, particularly about you and your brothers, and your connection to the Joneses."

"With what proof? It wasn't April who called it in, an' talkin' about giant turtles is only gonna get you a padded cell 'stead of one with bars."

I grit my teeth. He was right, and as much as I wanted to shoot back at him that humans like his brother could be easily found, I couldn't let him know that Leonardo had been seen, even if we'd failed to track him so far. "You act like I'll still be here for the police to interrogate," I bit out. "You can't keep me here without knocking me out or killing me, and doing so will destroy your charade that I was up here alone."

"You _were_ up here alone," he retorted with a flick to my temple. "And as for makin' sure you stay here—"

A sudden tug at my hands distracted me, and I had a split second to realize that they'd been cut loose before a sharp jolt and a white wave of pain shot through me. I barely managed to register that my shoulder had been reset, too busy trying to breathe through the stabbing feeling burning its way up and down my arm.

By the time my vision cleared and I could hear again, the door to the roof was slamming open behind me. I scrambled for my blade, recognizing I was too late to escape, but determined to cut my mistress's mark from my uniform and keep her free of suspicion. It was how we'd always dealt with those who had to be left behind where they might be found, and I owed it to my mistress to maintain the sanctity of her public reputation.

A shot rang out, gouging a hole into the roof near my hand when my fingers were just inches from my bag. I jerked back instinctively, and a second later multiple pairs of hands were on me, restraining my arms and pulling at my mask. Incredulous, stony faces surrounded me, all of them barking comments about terrorists and the weapons in my bag and something insulting about role-playing. Cuffs snapped onto my wrists, and I closed my eyes, ceding to the inevitable; there were too many to escape in my current state, and I had no illusions that they'd hesitate to shoot me if I tried to run.

All I could do now was silently apologize to my mistress for failing her, and wait to see what my fate would be: if she would send a comrade to kill me for my failure, or if I would be left to my fate and dishonor. If it came to that, I would find a way to end things myself.

I was hauled to my feet and propelled towards the open door, tuning out the questions and babble around me; none of it mattered. A glimpse of red caught my eye just before I stepped into the stairwell, a thin red bandana tail I would recognize anywhere flashing over the edge of the building.

Not only had he been talented enough to attack me unnoticed, Raphael was also ninja enough to stay and gloat with no one the wiser.

Of all my failings, that one rankled the most.

* * *

**Donatello**

* * *

"That looks important."

"Geez!" I jerked convulsively at the words, the pen in my hand carving a dark line across my paper while other sheets fluttered to the floor. I slapped a hand down to catch the ones I could and turned to face Raph. I hadn't even heard him get home, but a glance at my clock confirmed that he'd probably been back for about half an hour. "Could you _please_ stop trying to give me a heart attack?"

"Hey, I purposely waited 'til you were done typin' to say anything so you wouldn't freak out and blow up your computer or kill your program or anythin'," he shot back, lounging in the doorway. "I was bein' considerate; not my fault you keep failin' at the whole "be aware of your surroundings" thing."

"I'm not failing at it, I'm just otherwise occupied."

He raised an eyebrow. "I was there for almost three minutes, Don, waitin' for you to notice. You couldn't fail harder if ya tried."

I tried to ignore the way my stomach twisted at his words. He was right; I'd been absorbed with my coding, adding the finishing touches on another virus and updating my notes about where each virus had been sent from. How much had Raph seen? Did he know what I was working on? "Have you ever thought that maybe the reason I never know you or Mikey or Leo are there until you say something is that subconsciously I recognize you're not a threat? We're trained to be on guard against enemies, not each other." Regardless of whether that was a defensive explanation or not, I'd long thought that was honestly the case.

Raph snorted. "Sure, we'll pretend that's the reason."

"Bite me. So what's up?"

"Nothin' much, just bored. Still gettin' used to havin' so much free time now that we don't have things like practice an' patrolling an' chores every day. Besides, I already got my workout in for the day," he said with a grin that naturally made me nervous. "How 'bout you?"

I shrugged nonchalantly, turning back to grimace at my paper and the line scored through it. The list was still legible, but it wouldn't hurt to rewrite it; of all my papers, I really couldn't afford to have this one be less than perfect. "Tinkering, mostly. Working on some programming."

"Yeah? Who for?"

I froze for just a second, but long enough that I knew Raph had probably seen it. "What?"

"We've been brothers a lotta years, Don, and I've seen enough of your nerd marathons to recognize when you're workin' on a virus, for your competitions with April or otherwise." I could see his reflection in my computer screen flick a hand at my desk. "Your desk always looks the same when you're workin' on a virus, particularly that green folder, which is always there. That an' you usually have this look on your face like you're doin' somethin' you really oughta feel bad about." I could hear him settle into place, like he was bracing himself to drag it out of me. "So who's it for? If it was one of your competitions with April, you woulda just said so."

My first thought, oddly enough, was to wonder when Raph started caring. Not to say that he didn't care about me, but we'd generally moved around each other over the years; the biggest area of overlap in our interests was in mechanics, cars and shell cycles specifically, and Raph usually only asked for details when he had nothing else to hold his interest. But lately, even with an entire city of experiences to distract him, Raph's attention was like a palpable weight sometimes. With it being just the two of us, rather than the four of us, I was realizing just how single-minded Raph's focus could be, and what it was like to have that leveled solely on me. I hadn't realized just how much of Raph's attention Leo took up with their constant fights, or Mikey with talking Raph into some prank or another; I guess I'd gotten used to him always being gone or moving, to the point that I hadn't stopped to consider how much he could catch if he stayed still long enough.

"It's—" I honestly considered lying to him for a few seconds, before concluding that it probably wouldn't work. I'd already blown it by being so jumpy, and Raph's bullshit detector was pretty well developed. "Would you freak out unduly if I said it was for Foot HQ?"

There was a heavy pause. "How much is unduly?"

"Yelling, ranting, moderate property damage?"

"Prob'ly not."

"Then it's for Foot HQ."

Cloth rustled as Raph moved further into the room, and I turned around slowly so that he was back in my eyeshot. "What exactly is it meant to do?"

"Break down her firewalls if possible, like the other ones, or if it can't, it'll probably just corrupt a few files."

"Other ones? You've been workin' on more than one?"

This was when the yelling was probably going to start. "Yeah. Since…since we had dinner out a couple months ago. You know, when we came up with the idea of going after the Foot patrols in the sewers because Leo figured Karai would be suspicious that we were gone?"

Raph's brows came down. "You've been doin' this since then?"

I lifted my hands helplessly. "Raph, I can't just accept the fact that we're supposed to just run these sneak attacks like our luck isn't going to run out someday. My way—it's safer. There's no risk of anyone seeing me, much less knowing what species I am." I sighed and scrubbed my face, half of me waiting for a headache to crop up just to round out the day. "Are you going to tell Leo?" I asked, hating the way I sounded like I was twelve and had been caught sneaking out of the Lair.

Raph leaned against the wall. "Depends; there a reason to? Anythin' come out of it yet?"

I shook my head. "Not as far as I can tell. I've only picked up a couple pieces of related chatter from the bugs you guys planted on the Foot ninja in the sewers, and all that's told me is that the viruses did get delivered, but not what, if any, effect they're having."

He shrugged. "Then no."

"No?" I blinked. "Really?"

"What, didja want me to?" Raph asked. "Look, you're doin' somethin' you think'll help, an' that's exactly what we've always done. If nothing's happened and it ain't makin' any difference, Leo doesn't need to know about it. He's drivin' himself nuts as it is, tryin' to make sure he stays under the radar at work an' doesn't run into Karai; he doesn't need to worry about this too. An' if there's no way of it comin' back to bite us in the ass, then there's really no point in lettin' him know."

I couldn't help the relief I felt, though I was surprised at Raph's equanimity; I'd expected him to be annoyed at the very least with the way I was taking matters into my own hands, especially after I'd cautioned him and the others to be careful. But then, Raph had lots of experience with taking things into his own hands, so maybe he could understand where I was coming from. "Oh. Thanks. I am being careful," I added. "After the first one, I've been sending all the others out from libraries around the city, never the same one twice, so that they can't track the IP address. It won't come back to us."

Raph shrugged. "I ain't worried about you of all people bein' careful, Don. And if this does do somethin', what's it gonna do? Piss Karai off an' send her after us? Bit late for that. Besides, it's not like you're the only one who's ever acted alone."

I recognized the self-satisfied tone in his voice and raised an eyebrow. "Anything I should know about?"

He just grinned. "If it blows up, you'll know. Regardless, you'll prob'ly hear about it on those bugs of yours by tomorrow. Possibly the news; depends on whether it's a slow news day."

"That is not at all encouraging."

His shoulders hitched in a chuckle. "You're talkin' to the wrong brother if you want encouragin'. Look, you do what you think you need to, an' I'll do the same. Just…if you ain't gonna take your own advice about staying totally off the radar, try an' give Leo a break, alright? Yeah, your way is a lot less obvious, but he's bein' as careful as he can. We all are."

"Yeah," I said quietly. "I know, Raph. We talked. I'm not—I know it's hypocritical, to be going after Karai in my own way when I said we shouldn't at all, but…I'm serious when I say I can't be caught at this, Raph. The best the Foot have—in terms of computers, electronics, whatever—is Chaplain, and he was outclassed by Stockman, who wasn't even primarily a hacker. They just don't have the experience. The risk related to what I'm doing is almost nonexistent. And that's why I've had a hard time with these skirmishes we've been doing, because they're full of risk. But they're effective, I know. And if Leo's right about how they'll affect Karai, which he probably is, then it'll buy us time, and…" I sighed, propping my chin on my palm. "And since that's what I've been trying to do too, buy us time for something to happen—for Karai to slip up, for her to dig herself into a hole, for me to get enough to put her away—I really can't complain. I just—"

"Just want it over with without any casualties or everything gettin' screwed up. I get it, Don."

I eyed him. "You just don't think it'll happen that way."

Raph shrugged. "Never has in the past, an' shit blowin' up in our faces is one'a the few constants in our life, Donnie. 'Sides, if Karai keeps gettin' stupider and crazier, maybe she'll slip up, come after us in public."

"You'd want that?" I asked in disbelief.

"Show the world how much of a whackbag she is _and_ humiliate her in public?" Raph asked, one eyebrow raised. "Shell yes. Do I think we'll get that lucky? No, but a guy can dream."

"You need different dreams," I said with a sigh.

"They work for me," he said with a grin. "But seriously, Don, keep doin' what you're doin' if you think it'll work an' you know you're bein' careful enough. But if you're open to recommendations, an' your viruses aren't doin' anything so far, see what you can whip up in terms of concealed weapons. 'Cause wherever an' whenever Karai comes after us, I can pretty much guarantee you it ain't gonna be when we've got our weapons all handy and ready, 'specially not these days when we can't take 'em anywhere. An' bein' unarmed is a bad thing to be in a fight period, let alone with the numbers Karai usually brings along."

I nodded slowly. We couldn't exactly carry our weapons around with us anymore, Leo and Raph especially, and since we were a lot more likely to get blitzed when we were unprepared rather than when we were armed, given how much time we spent away from our apartments (and consequently our weapons), we did need to have something on hand. From what Raph had and hadn't said, I could tell he didn't like walking around unarmed, no matter how safe the places we went were supposed to be. With our training, we were never really unarmed, but we all relied on our weapons. It was a good idea, and definitely an interesting challenge. "I'm touched by your faith in me, but you know that my strengths tend more towards gadgets than weapons, right?"

"No, really?" he drawled sarcastically. "Never noticed. Don, you pretty much turned a delivery van into a family-friendly tank on wheels; sometimes your gadgets are as good as weapons just 'cause you made 'em. You'll come up with somethin'."

That was oddly flattering. "Thanks. You do realize, though, that if we're talking gadget-based, concealable weapons that pass for ordinary objects, there will be no end to the Batman and James Bond comments from Mikey, right?"

Raph grinned. "You do realize that we're not the ones livin' with him anymore, right?"

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped. "You aren't even going to feel a little bad for Leo having to put up with that alone?"

"Nope. Besides, knowin' Mikey, he'll be over here to talk about it an' ask what you're workin' on next anyway, so we'll get our turn." He pushed off the wall, bending down to snag one of the papers that had flown off my desk. "Better get this back in…your files…" He paused as his eyes darted over the page. "Donnie, what is this?" he asked, frowning as he handed me the paper.

I took it from him slowly, confused as to what could have affected his attitude so quickly, and felt the blood rush to my face as I realized what the paper was. It was the list I'd been keeping of everything I'd told Nikki about me, about us and our past. I'd been keeping track, a bit paranoid about how much I'd told her and how it could be interpreted. "It's…okay, don't—laugh or anything, alright? It's just…I've been keeping track of what I've told Nikki," I mumbled, working out a crease in one of the corners. "To make sure I don't tell her too much."

Raph moved back to drop down onto my bed. "Why?"

"I told you, to make sure I don't give away too much."

"Yeah, you said that, but why is that a problem?"

I gaped at him. "Why is it—Raph, I'd think that would be obvious. It'd put us in danger."

"Donnie, I may not be an expert on this—okay, I'm just not, plain an' simple—but I'm pretty sure trust is kinda one of those big things in relationships. Like, right at the top of the list. Plus there's that whole hoofbeat sayin'."

"The what?"

"I dunno, it's some weird sayin' or whatever, think I heard it from you in the first place; somethin' about hoofbeats and horses an' zebras or whatever."

"'If you hear hoofbeats, it could be a zebra but it's probably just a horse,'" I said slowly.

"Yeah, that. And it's about jumping to conclusions about stuff, right? You're the only one thinkin' it's zebras, Don. You look at this," he flicked the paper I was holding with a finger, "an' the other stuff about our story that ain't like other people's, an' you think mutant turtles turned into humans. But that's because you're on this end of things. A normal girl—relatively speakin'—like Nikki, she doesn't even know mutant turtles could exist, let alone that they did an' you were one. How the hell could she come up with that?"

"She couldn't," I admitted slowly. "But that doesn't mean that she couldn't come up with other possible reasons that would still lead her to asking some difficult questions."

Raph frowned. "You expectin' her to be a risk?"

"What? No!" I said vehemently. "I'm not saying I think she's going to start talking to people about me or us, I just…we're a lot alike, Raph. What is it that I do when I have questions about something or someone?"

"You go find answers," he replied promptly. A second later his brows lifted. "You think she's just gonna go find her own answers?"

"It's what I'd do. Have done," I admitted, thinking of the searches I'd run in a fit of paranoia to make sure she wasn't even tangentially involved with the Foot or Bishop. "Except that there won't be much for her to find. And in this day and age, that's cause for interest in and of itself."

"But you told her the story, right? Lived out in the boonies, just became members of society an' all that?"

"Of course, but theoretically, if our story was completely true, there'd still be traces of us; or of Master Splinter, at least. Regardless, I still have to figure out how I'm going to deflect her if that comes up."

Raph propped his forearms on his thighs, watching me. "I know you don't wanna lie to her, can't you just tell her that you can't tell her? Or keep things vague?"

"Raph…" I smiled, knowing the expression was more than a little wry. "How often have you or Leo told me you couldn't tell me about something? And how well has that worked to keep me from asking questions?"

His mouth twisted into a rueful smirk. "That'd be never. She's that much like you, huh?" He shook his head. "Scary thought. Look, if it comes down to it, just tell her ya aren't comfortable talkin' about the past. If she's got any kinda sense of tact, she'll take the hint an' drop it. Outta curiosity, though, what do ya think she'd do if she got the whole truth?"

"Do?" I blinked for a second before realizing I needed to realign my thoughts to someone else's wavelength. "I don't think it's a matter of doing anything with the information; it's about answering questions, solving a puzzle. Sometimes you don't seek information because you have a planned purpose for it, you just…seek it because you want it. Learning for learning's sake."

"Nosy for curiosity's sake," Raph countered, shaking his head. "Whatever. But what I was gettin' at is how do you think she'd take it if you told her?"

"She'd probably…" I stopped, my thoughts stalling. "I—I don't know, actually." I knew a lot about Nikki in terms of hard facts, since I made sure to keep up when she started yet another round of questions, but now that someone asked, I couldn't quite put my finger on who she was as a person. She was intelligent, obviously, inquisitive and focused and persistent. I liked spending time with her, even if she kept me off-balance most of the time. She was great to talk to, and her sense of humor, though it popped up at odd times, was refreshing. She was also…distant, somehow. I rarely saw her react expressively to things, in surprise or anger or delight; she seemed to keep her reactions in the middle of the spectrum, like she thought over everything before she decided how to react to it. Everything was processed first, rather than felt first. If I told her the truth about us…I wondered if I'd even get her full, real reaction to the news, or if she'd measure it out in doses. She was honest about what she felt, she just…seemed to pick and choose when she revealed how she felt.

If I told her—in my own thoughts, it was "if," not "when." To be honest, now that Raph brought it up, I realized I hadn't thought about telling her at all. I'd expected it to be the first thing on my mind, if I met someone, that I'd be waiting anxiously for the day when I knew them and trusted them well enough to be able to share every part of my life with them. But with Nikki…that impatience wasn't there.

"I don't know," I repeated slowly. "I don't…I don't think I will. I want to _want_ to tell her, but…"

"Hey." Raph stretched a leg out and jostled my knee. "Stop overthinkin' things. If you get to a point where you wanna tell her and you know she can take it, then tell her. If you don't, you don't. But—even if we've gotta be more careful than normal people, Donnie, even for us this kinda stuff is supposed to be somethin' you handle with your heart, not just your head. You don't have to get hitched to the first girl ya meet; you are allowed to just have fun."

I smiled slightly, grateful yet again that I had the brothers I did; Raph's face was scrunched up like he was almost in pain, but he was trying to help despite how much he hated talking about things like this. Despite his words, though, I didn't think things were going to change. I'd been so caught up in trying to figure Nikki out myself and keep up with the mental fencing that characterized every encounter with her that I hadn't even stopped to really notice that I wasn't…falling or anything.

I was a little too grounded to expect palpitations and birdsong like all the movies April liked seemed to pass off as customary when falling for someone, but…I guess I had expected to be caught up to some extent. Nikki still fascinated me, and I was attracted to her, but…she hadn't even met Mikey or Leo yet, and my brothers were the biggest part of my life. She hadn't asked, and…well, I hadn't offered, had I? It was like we were both trying to get each other's full measure before we decided to try falling for each other, and I…I thought I wanted something different. After years of watching Casey and April fight and make up and drive each other nuts, it was hard to think of there being any other way to start a relationship than to start with attraction on every level and then work out the bumps from there—not the reverse like I was doing.

"_Don_. Didja hear me?"

"Yeah, I heard you, Raph."

He sat back, looking unsatisfied. "But you've got your "I've already got my answer" face on."

Whatever that meant. "Raph, I…maybe I am over-thinking things or expecting too much. It's just that right now…I'm having a hard time concentrating on anything other than this situation with Karai and the Foot. I want to have time to figure this out, to see if I could feel more about Nikki than I do now, but I just don't right now, so I need to get through this so I _can_ have that time someday. Soon, hopefully."

"Hopefully. I get what you're sayin', Don, just try not to think so much for once, alright?"

I laughed helplessly. As if that was ever an option. "Sure, I'll do my best."

* * *

**Leah Wilson**

* * *

I watched as Sara worked her way through her routine on the parallel bars, feeling myself calm down. After a bunch of long days at the hospital, it was always a relief to come work with the kids at the gym; seeing healthy kids was a nice change. With how swamped we'd been, it was especially nice to be able to unwind for a change—not working towards a competition, just practicing. It gave me a chance to remind myself what all of us at the hospital worked towards: seeing every kid get out of there and have the chance to lead full lives, to play and run and roughhouse like other kids their age. Many of them had never known that, might never know it, or might be well out of childhood by the time they had a chance to play, so I enjoyed spending time with kids who could act their ages and enjoyed doing so.

Sara dismounted and held her pose for a second before turning to glance at me. I grinned at her. "Great job, honey; you've made a lot of progress on that routine. We need to work a little more on some of your transitions, but it looks good."

She bit down on a small smile and nodded, the expression turning a little mischievous as she glanced behind me. "Leah? I think—someone's here to see you."

I blinked at the non sequitur; I wasn't expecting anyone, so "surprised" was an understatement when I turned around to see Mike heading towards me. "Mike. What are you doing here?"

He grinned, shaking his hair out of his eyes as he stopped in front of me. "Hey, Leah. Marge said they had a schedule change for your floor, something about one of the other nurses having some kinda family emergency, so she asked if I could run a copy of the new schedule to you since I was leaving anyways."

"Mike, you didn't have to do that," I protested, taking the schedule he offered and gesturing for my kids to take a quick break. I couldn't help noticing that Mike was only wearing socks, and I was impressed that he'd picked up on the rule of taking his shoes off rather than wearing them onto the mats. "I'm going to be in tomorrow anyway; I could have checked then, rather than making you go out of your way."

Mike shrugged, his posture easy as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Not a big deal."

"Well, I appreciate it either…way…" I frowned. Something about him was off. I just couldn't… "Mike, is—is your hair blue?"

He blinked, reaching a hand up to his hair reflexively, then grinned like a kid who'd been caught in a prank. "Oh, that. Uh, I went out with my brothers this past weekend, and things…got a little weird." He tugged a strand of hair down his forehead and screwed his face up as he tried to see it. "Is it really that noticeable?"

I bit my lip to keep from laughing. "Not seriously, but in the light here, yeah, it is."

"Aw man…" He blew out a heavy breath and rolled his eyes. "Figures. Anyway, Marge said the changes affect your schedule for the weekend and early next week, so they wanted to make sure you got a copy early enough that you could let them know if the new shifts conflict with anything," he continued, gesturing at the paper. "Besides, this is on my way home anyways, so it worked out fine."

Sometimes it was hard to believe how good-natured Mike was. He'd been a huge hit with the kids on my floor since he'd started volunteering; he talked to them on their level, and he was a great distraction from the boredom and discomfort of being stuck in the hospital. He helped out whenever he could, taking pains to make sure he visited all the kids and helping Julie take Sid in to see the ones who couldn't get out of bed. The older nurses loved him to death, and he flirted with them shamelessly even though they were a good twenty to thirty years older than him (and most of them married), kissing them on the cheeks, complimenting them on their scrubs, and gladly stopping to talk whenever they cornered him in the halls. They knew it was all for fun, and they scolded him and called him a flirt and tried to hide smiles when he moped about them ignoring him and left origami flowers on their desks.

He was almost too good to be true, Julie had said more than once, and she had become increasingly less subtle about dropping those comments around me.

"So, any issues?" Mike asked, bending down into my line of sight.

I jumped slightly, my cheeks hot as I jerked myself out of that line of thought and glanced at my schedule. I wanted to groan when I saw that my second shift had been moved from Thursday to Saturday, which completely obliterated my weekend, but I had no good reason to switch beyond wanting to actually get some sleep. "Not really," I answered with a sigh. "But I'll be glad when this week is over."

"I bet." He coughed slightly, darting a glance at the kids still waiting behind me. "So, I wasn't trying to snoop, but I noticed when Marge gave me the schedule that you aren't working Friday."

He sounded almost nervous, and I glanced at him curiously. "No, I'm not."

He nodded, bouncing on his toes a couple times. "Well, if you're not doing anything else, do you want to go out and do something that night?"

The question caught me completely off-guard. Yeah, we'd spent a lot of time together over the past couple weeks, but that had been necessary as I showed him the ropes and got him used to the hospital and its schedule. And yes, he flirted with me, but he flirted with everyone, with, from all appearances, no ulterior motives. The idea that maybe he'd meant it all along…okay, I'd be lying if it hadn't crossed my mind and if I said I wasn't receptive to the idea. Mike was a great guy, and the more time I spent with him, the more I thought that Julie was right; he was the complete opposite of Tyler. Hands-down, Mike was one of the nicest guys I'd ever met. But I still wasn't completely sure that he was serious, and I wasn't willing to be treated like a fling or a joke again.

So I guess I'd just have to see how serious he really was.

I smiled at him. "Alright, I'll make you a deal. We'll go out on that date on one condition."

Mike raised an eyebrow. "Okay, what?"

"You have to try a simple gymnastics routine. If you can pull it off, we'll go out. If you can't…" I hesitated, because I didn't want to make it an ultimatum, and tried to think of an alternative. "Well, you can keep trying as many times as you want." If he couldn't do it but still kept trying, I'd know he was serious.

He blinked. "Seriously?" I nodded, and he grinned slowly. "Alright, cool. What's the routine?"

At this point, a few of my girls started giggling quietly behind me. I think they suspected that my routine was only going to be simple by a gymnast's standards, not by anyone else's. I folded my arms. "Two cartwheels into a front aerial, followed by a double front handspring and a full layout."

Mike gaped. "Okay, I'll be totally honest right now and say that I have no clue what anything you just said is, other than the cartwheels and the handspring."

I nodded to Christy, one of my twelve-year-olds who only came up to Mike's chest. "Can you give him a demonstration, Christy?" It probably wasn't very nice of me, setting Mike up to get his ego stepped on, but I had a feeling he could take it. And if he couldn't…well, then he obviously wasn't who I thought he was.

Christy grinned and stepped up to the mat. "No problem," she said easily. She took a breath and set off running, flowing into the routine without a hitch and sticking the layout.

I smiled at her. "Good job, Christy. Keep an eye on your arms during the landing, though." I glanced at Mike. "Do you need to see it again?"

He shook his head, his eyes wide. "That's a simple routine, huh? You guys work these kids hard."

I couldn't help feeling disappointed that he seemed intimidated, and I wanted to kick myself, because it wasn't fair of me to set him up like this and yet still want him to pull it off. "Like I said, you can try as many times as you need to," I said, turning away to get my class back in gear.

A gentle flick tossed my ponytail over my shoulder, and I turned to see Mike running past me on to the mats. "Thanks, but I only need one shot!"

My mouth fell open as Mike launched himself into the routine, getting more height on the handsprings than I'd seen from many gymnasts in competitions and landing with a perfect layout.

Someone at the bars whistled appreciatively and Mike swept into a low bow, before straightening up and grinning at me. Not only did he nail the routine, but somehow he'd landed right beside his shoes on the other side of the mats.

"Okay, so we're on for Friday night, then, right?" he asked breezily, wrestling his shoes on. "If it works for you, I can just meet you out front here at about 7 p.m. Oh, and don't worry about getting dressed up, just wear something casual and some comfortable shoes." He paused with his hands in his pockets, grinning like he was waiting to get chewed out.

I finally found my voice and obliged him. "How long have you been studying gymnastics?"

Mike held up one hand and thumped the other over his heart. "Not a day in my life, scout's honor," he replied. "My dad just believed that flips were a better form of punishment than a time-out." He blew a kiss and waved as he headed for the door. "I'll see you Friday!"

My entire class started clapping as soon as Mike was out the door, and I could feel the blood flooding to my face as the other instructors joined in. "Alright, alright! Don't you guys have some stretches you should be doing?"

One of the male teachers over at the parallel bars laughed. "I don't know, is that date option open to the rest of us?"

I glared at him, trying to pretend my cheeks weren't on fire. "No, it's not. You could never pull off the routine I'd give you."

His students razzed him as he held up his hands in surrender. "Alright, I get the hint."

I fought the urge to bury my face in my hands, grateful as the gym slowly returned to order. Christy slid up beside me, grinning like the rest of my class. "So…sounds like you've got plans Friday, huh?"

"Yeah, sounds like it," I said faintly.

She frowned. "Why don't you sound excited? He's _cute_. Plus he seems nice, and he's good at gymnastics," she said matter-of-factly, like that was the only criteria that really mattered.

I frowned down at her. "He's too old for you. Like, illegal too old."

Christy rolled her eyes. "Obviously. But he's the perfect age for you."

He definitely was that. "I wasn't expecting him to actually be able to pull off the routine. It took me by surprise," I admitted.

Another of my students tugged on my arm. "But you're still gonna go, right?"

I smiled. "Yes, I'm still going to go. We made a deal."

"You owe us the details," she pointed out.

I raised an eyebrow. "If I'm not mistaken, _you__'__re_ the ones who owe _me_ a few sets of exercises. C'mon, get going."

I had no idea what to expect; not what Mike had planned, or how it would go, or even if we'd click beyond the casual flirting. All I did know was that it would probably be fun, knowing Mike.

And that I was looking forward to it.

* * *

A/N: another one down! As always, concrit or notifications about mistakes are always appreciated. :)


	17. Chapter 17

_**Disclaimer:** see previous chapters._

I'm still alive! I am so sorry for what turned into a horrible delay for this story. Between a really hard family issue that came up and my new work schedule/load starting to bleed into my evenings on a regular basis, writing for fun got sidelined. I'm trying to get a better handle on things, and hopefully with some adjustments I can get my evenings back. Again, I'm so sorry to do this to you guys again; I hate making you wait this long.

To try and make up for it, the next chapter is going to be posted next weekend, no matter what. This chapter would have been up sooner, but then it demanded some rewriting at the eleventh hour, including timing changes and a total switch in the chain of events. But I realized that trying to get all that done was going to be another few days, and I've already made everyone wait too long, so I bit the bullet and chopped it in half. This is a little shorter than some of the others as a result, but it starts the ball rolling and it allows me to get a new chapter to you guys now while I finish beating the next one into submission.

Just another note, I promise I will NEVER abandon this or any story. It might take me a while to finish (obviously .), but every story will be finished. And this is really the last of the unwritten parts; the rest is pretty much done on my computer, so I promise updates will come sooner and more regularly from now on. All the setting-things-up chapters will be worth it soon.

Special thanks, as always, to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: **TgabbyS, greshunkai, Mourning Star under the Moon, J-Kid, Hily, cuzimaw3som317, meganechan720, Silver Lightning Blade, Alluring Alliteration, Sabrinasidd,** and **crank**. You guys are awesome.

* * *

**Michelangelo**

I fell onto the couch with a groan, wincing at the way every single muscle in my body was complaining. Morning practices had gotten a lot more brutal now that it was just me and Leo most days; I was learning the hard way that having all of Leo's attention was not always a good thing. "Hey Leo?"

He paused in the kitchen, draping a towel around his neck as he grabbed some water. "Yeah?"

"_Ow_."

He laughed quietly. "Whiner."

"Slave driver," I shot back, grinning at him as he handed me a bottle. "I could've sworn you said today was going to be a short practice, because of work or something."

He dropped onto the other end of the couch, shrugging. "I had my times wrong. I don't have to go in quite as early as I thought." The skin around his eyes tightened a bit. "Seiichi-san said things with Karai are getting close to being done, and that it looks like he'll be able to close the deal soon. My guess is that she's stalling, and that's why these meetings are happening later and later."

"Mmm." I tried to think of a quick topic change; I always hated the way Leo got quiet and dark whenever Karai's name came up these days. "So what do you think you want to do after this?"

Leo blinked at me, looking confused. "About what?"

"After you finish up your current job. What do you want to do after that?"

Leo hesitated for a second before shrugging. "I…I don't know. I didn't—I guess I haven't thought about it." He snorted. "It took so long for me to find a job at all this time around, and even then, it found me more than I found it."

"Well, now you've got some experience, and I'm sure Seiichi-san would give you an awesome recommendation. Ooh, or you could go work for Hitoshi-san! You're there pretty often and you like him, right?"

"I do, but I don't think that would work," he countered.

"Why not?"

"I don't think he's busy enough to need extra help, and…I don't know that his daughter would be that thrilled about it."

I blinked. "Oh, he has a daughter? Is she young? Or just not good with strangers?"

He huffed a laugh. "No, she's our age. Naomi is…" He eyed me suspiciously. "Can I tell you this, or should I expect a lot of teasing?"

"Bro, I totally can't answer that question without knowing what it is you're thinking of telling me. But I will at least offer to not start teasing you about it until tomorrow; I can't promise anything better." And really, I thought that was pretty generous as it was.

Leo looked unconvinced, but sighed. "Naomi…is the friend that Rae set me up with," he said finally.

I gaped at him. "Are you serious?" I could feel a grin spreading across my face. "That is like—"

Leo leveled a finger at me. "Don't start."

"I wasn't going to!" I protested. "I was just gonna say that's a heck of a coincidence. _And_ add that you totally copped out on telling us about it."

"I never promised to tell you about it in the first place."

"Dude, it's the principle of the thing! We're your brothers, and you owe us the details, especially since Raph and I have never been on a date."

"I wonder why that is," he drawled, a teasing hook to his mouth.

"Hey, low blow!" I said, fighting off a grin. When he went for it, Leo could manage some really good burns. "Besides, I have a date set up, I'll have you know. For tonight, as a matter of fact."

Leo blinked. "You do? Who is it with?"

I shook my head. "Uh-uh. You tell me how yours went—and if that's why Naomi wouldn't want you working there—and I'll tell you who mine is with. Even trade."

He rolled his eyes. "Alright, fair enough. It—it was fine. Awkward, unsurprisingly. Rae didn't tell Naomi my name, even though she knew that we had met before, and that seemed to annoy Naomi. Apparently Rae is a lot like you."

I grinned. "Adorable and fun to be around?"

One eyebrow went up. "Devious with a tendency towards pranks."

Okay, so I couldn't really argue with that. "So other than her not digging the surprise, how was it?"

"It was…" Leo looked at the far wall, his face softening a little. "It was interesting. She's very easy to talk to, very strong; she's a lot like April that way. She's smart, too; I think she heard more than most people might have in what I did and didn't say. She seemed curious about how we'd been raised, with it just being us and Master Splinter, but she seemed willing to accept that there were things I didn't want to talk about. She and Hitoshi-san are both very patient that way." He rubbed at his forehead, grimacing slightly. "I know I should be better at deflecting, or at least be less obvious about what parts of my life I'm hiding, but I can't, or rather I don't want to, lie to her. Or to Hitoshi-san."

It sorta bummed me out to realize they were some of the first people other than April and Casey that Leo had gotten to know as friends, but I was glad he liked them enough to not want to lie to them. "They sound like good people."

"They are," Leo said softly. He glanced at me and smiled slightly. "I think Hitoshi-san wants to meet the three of you."

I perked up. "Really? You told him about us?"

Leo looked confused at my surprise. "Of course. How could I tell someone about my life and not mention you guys? You're the biggest part of it."

I knew I was grinning like an idiot, but I never got tired of hearing that I was important to my bros; Leo tended to show it more than say it, but when he did say it, he somehow managed to make the sappiest stuff sound just matter-of-fact. "You're gonna make me blush," I joked, ducking the coaster he lobbed at me. "I'd like to meet him," I added seriously. "I mean, if you wouldn't mind." I knew this was one of the only things Leo had had that was just his in years, and I didn't want to intrude, but Hitoshi-san sounded cool, and I kinda wanted to see what kind of a person could win Leo over so easily. And yeah, I wanted to meet Namoi and see what she was like and what she and Leo were like together, but I wasn't going to tell him that.

"I'd like you to meet him too; I think you'd like him. It's just…" He hesitated, glancing down at his hands. "Is it alright if I keep it as a place just for me for a little while longer?"

"Dude, that's totally fine. You're allowed to have stuff that's just yours," I assured him. Like he even had to ask; though, knowing Leo, he probably thought he did. "I'm cool with knowing I'm on the meet-and-greet list. I'm just confused; if the date was cool, why would she not want you to be there?"

Leo made a face. "Hitoshi-san is apparently in the habit of trying to…set her up on dates fairly often. She thinks he'll try that with me, and she's not looking for a relationship."

And then Rae went and set the date up for them anyway; I _had_ to meet her. She totally would be an awesome partner for ganging up and plotting against Leo if Naomi ended up being good for him. "And?"

"Well, that could make things awkward between us, even though I'm not looking for anything either, and it's not fair to make her feel uncomfortable in her own home."

"You're not looking for anything? Why not?"

Leo just looked at me, smiling crookedly. "Mikey, how am I of all people supposed to have a relationship?"

Sometimes Leo made me want to either facepalm or apologize for not straightening him out sooner, often at the same time. "Leo, you'd be awesome in a relationship; you know how to take care of people and love 'em. I mean, obviously you don't love us or Sensei or April or Casey _that_ way, but it's just a different kind of love, and that's easy."

He shook his head. "I'd never be able to tell the person I'm with anything, Mikey. There's not—I don't really have a lot outside of our past and our training. You and Donnie and Raph, there are other aspects to you beyond that; you have parts that you can share with someone new. I…I need to know who I am, who I can be now, before I can think about being part of something like that. I've got enough on my plate, trying to figure that out. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, I guess." He had a point, but I wish I could explain to him that there weren't set criteria he had to hit to be in a relationship any more than there were set ones for being a brother. "I just want you to be happy, bro."

"I'm…I'm trying, Mikey. I think I'm getting there. And besides I have you and Raph and Don, and we're all safe, for now; that goes a long way."

Captain Optimism strikes again. "We're fine, Leo, and as soon as this deal with Karai is over, we'll be more than fine; there won't be any more connections between us. And if she does decide to go crazy in her free time, well…we'll figure something out. And you'll always have us."

"Yeah," he said quietly.

I frowned slightly at that, wondering what the hesitance was for. I didn't think I'd said anything wrong, but…wait. I thought over it again, and my brain snagged on that "for now." "Leo."

"Yeah?"

"You don't think the having us around thing is just a 'for now' kind of situation too, do you?" There was that split second of hesitation. "Leo…bro, do you think we're going to leave or something?"

He just looked at me. "Mikey, there's so much in the world, a lot more than just New York. I've been out there, and living here has reminded me of that, of the fact that even in New York, it's not just strangers and threats. I can't think of a place where you or Raph or Don wouldn't be welcome or needed or able to make a difference. I'm not trying to say I think you'd leave and never look back, but…it's a big world, and you guys would be right to want to explore all of it."

I sat back. "You seriously think that?"

"Mikey, it's not—"

"How long have you—" I felt dumb as the obvious answer hit me. "Since we turned human, right? You've been thinking that since then?" He dropped his eyes and I wanted to hit my head against the wall. "Leo…"

"Mikey, it's not that I think you'd abandon me," Leo said seriously. "That's not it, and I'd never look at it that way. It's just…you three have so much to offer, and you _fit_ in the world, with people, seamlessly. You'd be wanted and needed anywhere you went, and there's so much you could do for the world; Don's genius and ideas, your love of life, Raph's refusal to tolerate injustice…they're needed everywhere. And I've had you three to myself for the past twenty-one years, so it's time I learned how to share you. I want you to go see and do everything you could; after the traveling I've gotten to do, I don't have any right to expect otherwise. I—"

He blew out a breath and leaned back, gazing at the ceiling. "Maybe at one point, I hoped it'd be different," he admitted reluctantly. "Years ago, if I wanted anything, I thought it was for the four of us to be together forever. Just…safe and together, the way we'd been before we ever met Saki or knew that there was any kind of foot other than the one you kicked with. But that was never realistic. You three never would have been happy staying in the sewers for the rest of our lives. And the fact is, Mikey, we're all so different that maybe there's no one place where we'd all be happy. And I…I've come to terms with that. Mostly. We're together for now and for the foreseeable future, and I'm happy with that."

"We're not gonna split up, Leo," I argued, a churning in my stomach making me wonder if I was trying to convince both of us.

Leo smiled slightly, his eyes far away like he was looking beyond the ceiling. "The world isn't just New York, Mikey. It's so much bigger. Do you remember how small the Lair and the sewers seems compared to New York when we first started exploring the city? That's how small New York is compared to the rest of the world. And who's to say where the best opportunities for you guys are going to be?"

I stared at him, wanting to argue. I'd never thought we were gonna split up. I figured we'd live in New York forever, or until we all decided to move somewhere else. We'd grown up here, and we knew every inch of the city. It was home. And New York was one of the biggest, busiest, fullest cities in the world; there was totally something for each of us here. "But we've all found stuff here that works for us; who's to say we won't in the future too?"

"We could, but what if we don't, Mikey? If Don finds a job in—in D.C. or Seattle or—I don't know, a chance to get his next degree at MIT or Harvard, could we ask him to give that up to stay with us? Or do you think he'd want us to give up the lives and jobs we had here to follow him? I don't think I could ask you guys to do that if I found a job somewhere else."

I couldn't pretend the question had never popped into my head of what would happen if one of us found something we wanted outside of the city, or even the state. I'd tried to ignore it, because I hadn't liked the idea any better then than I did now, but…but what if Donnie _did_ find some sort of awesome, geeky tech job in another state? Or Raph, would he really want to just stay in New York? I could see him traveling all over the country on his bike, just going wherever he wanted, getting to see everything. I could do the things I wanted to do pretty much anywhere, so I could…what, follow them? And Leo could probably follow too; we could still stay together.

But would that be fair to any of us? What if it ended up that Leo was right, and there wasn't one place where we could all be happy? Even though I hated the thought of us not being together anymore, I didn't want to just be the little brother following my bros around forever, either. I liked that I had things of my own now, and people who saw me as just me, not just the youngest. I liked the life I was making for myself here, and the people in it. Could I give that up for my bros to follow them if their dream lives were somewhere else? Should I?

I must have been making some kind of face, 'cause Leo winced and held up a hand. "Look, I'm not saying anything is going to happen."

"But you're still preparing for it," I pointed out.

He gestured helplessly. "That's what I do, Mikey. It's what I've always done. I try to prepare for things. I wonder and I plan so that if something happens, I'm prepared and we all make it out alright on the other side."

That _was_ a pretty Leo-ish thing to do. We'd all gotten used to the fact that Leo was always going to try and out-plan life by being more prepared than any Boy Scout that had ever lived. "So you're…what, trying to get used to letting us go now so it's easier?"

"I couldn't 'get used' to letting you guys go if I tried, Michelangelo. I just can't. Leaving you guys or not having you around is never going to be something that's easy for me, but given how things have changed, it's also not something I'm going to be able to avoid forever either, so I'm…contemplating it. I'm trying to deal with the thought that it could happen one day so that maybe if or when it does happen, hopefully I'll be able to handle it. I'm trying to give you guys space so that I can at least have some idea of what it'll be like to be on my own." He gave me a rueful smile. "I reserve the right to hate it a little, though."

Maybe that was a good idea. The idea of us not being together at least in the same area had caught me by surprise, and not the happy "we got you a puppy" kind of surprise. But I had to admit, now that I thought about it, I was glad Leo had mentioned it before one of us actually left, _if_ we ever did. And that was me, and I was usually okay with change; for Leo, it had to be worse. I hesitated, something occurring to me. "So…so what you said Master Splinter gave you as your final lesson?" I asked, trying not to come right out and ask him how that was going.

"I guess I'm also trying to figure out how to tell him I can't do what he asked," Leo said quietly.

"Can't or won't?" I asked curiously. I didn't want to poke at something that was obviously bugging Leo a lot, but I couldn't help wondering.

"…Both, I guess," he replied. "I don't…I'm not saying I want to still be in charge of you guys. I miss the practice and our training runs, just for getting to practice our skills, but I'm okay with the rest of it. The opportunities we have now are a fair trade. I—I've never really known what it was like to not have someone to report to all the time, but it's—it's not bad." He shrugged. "Anyway, it's not that I want to be in charge anymore, but…I just don't want to be in your lives any less, either."

I propped my chin on my hand. "You ever think that maybe we don't want that either?" I asked, wondering if that had ever occurred to him, the doofus. "Look, what did Sensei tell you? Like, as close to word-for-word as you can remember."

"He said I needed to let you guys go, to let you live your own lives, and learn to live _my_ own life as well, to find what makes me happy and who I am beyond my duties."

I nodded. "Well, I think he's right that you need to find your own groove, y'know? Like what works for you, what you like doing, that kind of stuff; I'm totally behind that. But…no offense to Sensei, but I think he was a little off the mark with the other stuff."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, did either of you ever ask us if we wanted you to just let us go?"

A wry smile tugged at Leo's mouth. "If you try really, really hard, I think you'll remember that one of you might have made a comment along those lines once or twice," he drawled.

I laughed. "Okay, Raph's a special case, in all meanings of the phrase—don't tell him I said that. But he wants space, not separation."

"He wants a balancing act, but he won't come out and say what counts as a happy medium or tell me where he's drawn the line. Plus that line keeps moving," Leo muttered.

"Well, yeah, but you've learned how to do harder things," I pointed out. "Look, I'm not Donnie, so I can't whip out any psychology stuff or anything like that, but…I know I can say we are who we are because of each other, you know? Like, if I hadn't had you guys, I might not be as relaxed as I am, because I wouldn't have had anyone to watch my back. I would have had to do it myself, and prob'ly wouldn't have had time for video games or comic books or anything like that. Donnie prob'ly wouldn't have ever learned about medicine like he has, and might not have had anyone to pull him out of his head and away from his machines every once in a while. Raph wouldn't have had anyone to make him feel like he wasn't all alone or help him rein things in when he got mad. And you might have been totally different too; I mean, without us, you never would have had anyone to look out for, so maybe you never woulda learned how to be a good leader. You might have lived just for a cause and nothing else."

I shrugged. "We are who we are because of each other. And yeah, maybe it wouldn't hurt to learn how to stand on our own a bit more, but losing each other would be like losing parts of ourselves. We already spend less time together than I'm cool with, and we still live together; I'm willing to bet Raph and Donnie feel like that even more."

It was kind of annoying that neither one of them, Sensei or Leo, had thought about our end of things. I mean, Sensei prob'ly thought about it, and thought that space was what we wanted, but he hadn't asked. He was just telling Leo to be what he thought we needed, like when he made him _chuunin_. And yeah, that ended up being the best thing for us, but still. As for Leo…well, he obviously thought we wanted space too, but neither of them had bothered to ask. And we were sort of a democracy now, right? That meant all our input mattered.

"But…what am I supposed to tell Master Splinter? That I just don't want to?"

I shrugged. "Well, yeah." Leo just kind of made a weird hand-shrug back at me in confusion, and I realized that that wasn't really something Leo—or any of us, really—had ever done before. "Okay, never mind. Um…" I tried to think of a way to explain why I didn't think Leo had to really follow through on this lesson, because it wasn't like he—that was it. "Okay, follow me on this, bro. Why should you learn this lesson?"

"Master Splinter said I needed to."

"Okay, but other than that, why?"

He opened his mouth, then closed it, blinking at me. "I…"

"Who would you be learning it for?" I pressed. "Master Splinter's never asked us to learn a lesson just because he said so."

"For you guys?"

I shook my head. "Why? It doesn't really do us any good."

"I'd stop smothering you," he pointed out.

"You pretty much stopped smothering us a couple years ago, bro; give yourself a little credit," I said, poking him in the knee.

A small smile tugged at his mouth for a second before Leo frowned in thought again. "Then, for myself?"

"Do you really believe that? What good would it do you?"

"I…I can't really think of anything, but Master Splinter wouldn't have brought it up if he didn't have a good reason."

"Yeah, but maybe…maybe his good reason was wrong," I said slowly, trying to work out the idea that was popping up in my head.

Leo just looked at me. "I don't get it."

"I don't either," I admitted. "I'm just kind of talking until I get the idea out, so hang on. If Sensei was going to ask you to do this, it'd be because it was good for you or us, or both. Because without someone watching over us, we'd be able to, you know, grow up and stand on our own and do whatever."

"Right. I think I sense a 'but' in there, though."

I masterfully passed up the obvious joke opening. "But we already have that, y'know? Raph and Donnie and I already know who we are. I mean, that's gonna keep changing and growing as we go on, but we know who we are for the most part. And I think a lot of that is because we had you running interference over the years; you handled things, so the time we might've spent being responsible for more stuff or whatever we spent doing things we liked. You weren't really keeping us from growing up, just from being responsible for some stuff. And we're learning to stand on our own now. We've all got jobs and responsibilities now that we have to handle by ourselves; stuff we have to do at work, chores and grocery shopping at home, making sure we're careful out in public about not being too weird or saying the wrong stuff. We're responsible for all that now. And it's an adjustment, yeah, but we're handling it; and you're not trying to get in the way of that, so you've already backed off. So if things are fine and we're already doing the things we'd supposedly only be able to do if you 'let us go' and backed off…then why do you need to back off any more?"

Leo blinked at me, his eyes thoughtful and a little surprised. "I…I guess I don't?"

"Right. The way I figure it, the four of us are like…one thing, but four parts. From the outside, I can see how it would seem like it'd be a good thing for us to move apart a little. Maybe Sensei wants you to try so you can figure out which parts of you are from being _chuunin_, from being what you think we need you to be, and which ones are really yours. But from the inside, maybe we don't see that because…I guess because we know it's not hurting us. I mean, yeah, maybe it could have gone bad, if the ways we related to each other got all messed up and we got too far from being brothers, but it didn't go that way."

I tapped my fingers together, trying to think of a way to explain. Leo always made it seem so easy when he came up with analogies. "It's like…it's like we're a tree. We're all from the same trunk, but four different branches. We all grow in different directions and different ways, but we're still parts of the same whole with the same roots. If you tried to split the trunk and roots into four parts so we could be our own trees, you'd kill the tree, y'know? And maybe our way's alright. We need to keep growing away, and we can, but we're stronger if we keep our whole too."

Leo was quiet for a minute, thinking, then finally nodded like he did when he'd just cemented a battle plan. "Yeah," he said firmly. He smiled, looking honestly grateful, and I wondered how long this had been bugging him for. "Thanks, Mikey."

I grinned back at him. However Leo's lesson was going, I kinda liked how mine was going, becoming someone Leo trusted enough to talk to about things like this. "You're totally welcome, bro."

He hesitated a second before he spoke up again. "I'm not saying that I don't think you're right, because I do, but…I'm not taking the easy way out by agreeing with you, am I?"

I shrugged. "So what if you are? Whether you climb it with your bare hands or ride the ski lift, you still get to the top of the mountain; one way's just a whole lot easier. You don't always have to take the hard way, bro. And it's not like you're copping out on anything either. If we're right, Sensei wanted you to do the letting go thing so we could all grow and you could have some space to see what's just you, right? Well, we're already doing that. And you said you're already trying to get used to the idea of us leaving, and I can pretty much guarantee that a few years ago you never would've even thought about it; that's progress too. If you ask me, you're already doing what Sensei asked."

I reached out and nudged him in the shoulder. "And since your lesson concerns us, I think I've got some input rights. Master Splinter didn't ask us if we wanted to have a leader rather than just a brother back when we were little squirts, or if we want you to ease out of our lives now. I'm not saying either of those were really bad things, 'cause they've ended up being good for us, I'm just saying we never really got a say in how far you had to go with either one, even though we're the ones it affects."

Leo stared at me for a second, and I wondered if I'd said something wrong. Was he going to get offended by the fact I'd said him easing up wasn't a bad thing? "What I meant was—"

"You're right."

"—that I—what? Sorry, one more time?"

"You're right," Leo repeated. He dropped his eyes to the floor, his forehead furrowed in thought. "I never thought about asking you guys, but you're right. I just—I figured if it was something Master Splinter told me to do, it was what was best for you. For all of us."

"And it usually is," I added. I poked him in the side until he looked up at me again. "Hey, I'm not saying he's wrong, 'cause we both know Sensei has always done everything he could for us. I'm just saying that things are changing, and that in this case, you should maybe consider balancing what Sensei wants you to do with what you want to do and maybe some input from us too. 'Cause I'm willing to bet Sensei told you the same thing he told me, which was that _if_ we learned these lessons was up to us. Remember that?"

"That part I'd forgotten, actually." He blew out a breath. "So what do you want? In terms of all this?"

"I just want you to be my brother, Leo, like you always have been. That's all. I'm willing to bet that's all Donnie and Raph want too, but you should ask 'em if you're worried about it. And if you need some sort of definition, being a brother means you just have to be here and be you. If I need space, or help with stuff, or whatever, I'll ask for it, alright? But for now, I'm cool with how things are."

"I am too," Leo said quietly, throwing a quick smile at me. "And…I'll keep trying to make them better."

"Just as long as that means better for you too," I warned. "You know how you like seeing us happy? It goes both ways, bro. We've got everything we need now—safety, awesome places to live, cheesy popcorn—so there's nothing you have to worry about doing for us." I pointed a finger at him. "The only other thing we need is for you to find your center, bro. And to start doing and asking for things just for you. And to be happy."

He raised an eyebrow, a smile tugging at his mouth. "That's more than one thing."

"Totally not," I protested. "They're—they're, uh, facets of the same thing. All interconnected."

"Right. Mikey?"

I glanced at him. "Yeah?"

"…Thank you. For waiting, for not—giving up on me."

"Never would've, never will," I promised. "You know how bad I am at giving up. Besides, stop talking about yourself like you're super messed up. It's not like that. You just…you just have a little brain rewiring to do, that's all. Like I said, Raph and Donnie and I, we've got everything we want. This is about five Christmases at once for us, and the other stuff we might want—girlfriends or dream jobs or a Nobel peace prize, in Don's case—that's all stuff we have to and can get on our own. So from now on, assume we're awesome and do stuff that you want just because you want to. Okay?"

Leo laughed a little. "I'll try." He hesitated, looking at me closely. "Just out of curiosity, do you think Master Splinter was…wrong about your lesson or Don or Raph's?"

I blinked at that. "Huh. I didn't think about that…probably 'cause it didn't occur to me—that he's wrong with those, I mean. I don't know the particulars of Donnie's, but I think his is to get comfortable with who he is and get used to people a bit more than machines, and I'm pretty sure Raph's is to work on his temper. I think both of those are good for 'em. Raph's got less to be upset about now, and maybe the fact that he can actually do something about the stuff that does piss him off now will help. And Donnie definitely needs to have more people in his life."

Leo nodded in agreement. "Mm. I think of all of us, it'll be good for him to be himself instead of just one of four. We haven't always appreciated him like we should have, and I think…" He frowned, looking down at his hands. "We—you, Raph, and I—we've had a tendency to overshadow him. Not on purpose, and not because he's not a force to be reckoned with on his own, but it's happened nonetheless. It's largely my and Raph's fault, probably, with so many years of fighting and making you guys want to just stay out of the blast zone. We've gotten so used to him being there to help and keep everything running that I think he's gotten used to it too, used to just staying in the background most of the time so he isn't bothered and actually has some control over things."

"Maybe…" I picked up a coaster and flipped it over in my hands. "I don't know. There definitely were some times when I know Donnie made it a point to just stay in his lab so he wouldn't have to deal with you guys fighting. But…not everything was about you and Raph and all the fights. A lot of it has always just been who Donnie is. We used to hang out in his lab sometimes when you guys were going at it, or just because I was bored. You know how focused he can get, and when it came to working on stuff, even when you guys were super loud he could just tune you out. He told me once that for him, it was like outside of the lab was him as a brother, but as soon as he stepped into his lab, he was just Don—not someone's brother, not the peacekeeper, just him."

"I hope can find that here. Or rather, I hope he realizes he _has_ that here, that who he is or prefers to be doesn't have to stay in his lab anymore," Leo said quietly. He sighed, propping his forearms on his knees as he cast a tired look over at me. "I know I probably haven't said it enough for all the years we put you guys through that, but I'm sorry, Mikey. I'm sorry that Raph and I didn't try harder or figure things out between us sooner."

"I am too," I said honestly. I didn't want to make Leo feel bad, because I knew he'd hated all the fighting as much as any of us, but I couldn't pretend it hadn't sucked. "But it's over, and things are better now, so it's—well, not really okay that it happened, but we can forget about it now. It's in the past." I reached over and stuck the coaster on Leo's head, ignoring his confused look so I could try and get the words out. I wasn't one for ultimatums, but someone had to say it, and I was kind of five years late in saying it to begin with. "But I swear, Leo, if you guys do that again…I'm not gonna hang around for a repeat. I'm not gonna be stuck in the middle again, trying to calm you guys down just to hear you two tear each other apart. I just won't. I can't. And Donnie won't either. And—and we don't have to now."

Leo dropped his eyes, tilting his head so that the coaster fell into his hands. "I know," he said softly as he set it back on the table. "You shouldn't have had to in the first place. I don't know why we couldn't understand each other then, but we do now. It won't happen again."

He said it like a promise, not just like he was trying to placate me, and Leo didn't break his promises. I blew out a breath, shaking the tension out of my shoulders; I hated confrontations, and I hated bringing up Leo and Raph's fights. Trying to talk to them about it in the past had always gone badly since they'd both just blamed each other rather than taking responsibility for anything. But now Leo had promised it wouldn't happen again, and Raph…well, after he and Leo had gone out to the bar, he'd told me not to tease Leo about it, and once upon a time he would've been first in line to jump on something that proved Leo wasn't perfect.

Leo was right; it wouldn't happen again.

"Good. Now, uh…now I need some advice." I scratched the back of my head, glad to switch to a lighter subject. "What the shell should I do on my date?"

Leo's eyebrows slid up his forehead, but I saw his shoulders drop a bit as he relaxed. "You're asking _me_? I didn't even have any input on mine."

"Yeah, but you still went on one. What did you guys do?"

He shrugged. "Like I told you, we just talked. We got coffee and talked for about an hour or so, and then I walked her home—which I think annoyed her."

I frowned. "How come?"

Leo shook his head. "Naomi is a very independent person. I don't think she appreciated the implication that she needed protecting or couldn't protect herself."

"Crap, I thought most ladies liked that." That was something all of April's chick flicks had been hardcore about, that walking a lady back to her place was a requirement.

"Maybe they do," Leo offered uneasily. "I just don't know. You're the one I'd ask about that, ordinarily. Who are you going out with anyway? You never said."

"Oh, right." I scooted around to face Leo, grinning. "Her name's Leah. She's awesome, and really cute. She's a redhead—more red than Raph, but less than April—and Leo, she has freckles," I said seriously.

Leo raised his eyebrows. "Freckles. That's…good."

"That's _awesome_, bro," I corrected. "I didn't know I liked freckles, but I do now."

He chuckled. "So what's she like? Where'd you meet her?"

"I met her at the hospital. She's a nurse there, mostly working with kids; she was the one who showed me around the day I started volunteering. She's just—she's really cool. She loves the kids, and she works really hard. She doesn't take any crap, either, and—" I grinned sheepishly. "I don't think I can fool her. She just kind of…"

"Sees through your smarm?" Leo drawled.

I narrowed my eyes and leveled a finger at him. "I am not smarmy, I am charming. There's a difference."

He snorted. "You're full of crap."

"I think she thinks so too," I admitted, rocking back and hooking my hands around my ankles. "She made me take a test before she'd agree to go out with me."

Leo sputtered, his eyes wide before a huge grin spread across his face. "She did? What kind of a test?"

I was totally gonna be the butt of so many jokes for this, especially when Leo told Raph and Don, but I didn't care. It was worth it to see Leo totally caught off guard. "I stopped by the gym she volunteers at—she teaches kids gymnastics—to drop off a new schedule for her from the hospital and asked her out, and she told me she'd go with me if I could do a 'simple' gymnastics routine."

"Simple for normal people or for us?" Leo asked.

I grinned. "Oh, way simple for us. I think it was supposed to be hard for normal people, given how some of her kids were laughing, but really it was pretty tame compared to some of the other stuff we've done; a couple cartwheels and a few fancy flips."

"And she had no clue…"

"That we'd been doing stuff like that since we were eight? Nope." I grinned as Leo laughed, shaking his head. "She looked like she'd just seen Elvis go running across the parallel bars by the time I was done. Nailed the landing and everything."

"I'd be embarrassed if you hadn't," Leo said, trying to sound stern and losing it. "Wow. Only you would have that kind of luck."

"What can I say? The universe loves me," I said with a shrug. "Anyway, I have no idea what to do, but I figured I'd take her on a walk around the park and show her all the cool places we've found over the years that most people don't know about."

"Are you sure that'd be safe?" Leo asked, glancing at the clock as he got to his feet. "I mean, Central Park isn't an issue for us, but most people tend to stay away from it at night. The smart ones, at least."

It went without saying that the stupid ones were the ones we ended up having to rescue. "It ought to be alright. It'll still be light out by the time we head out, and the outer paths are pretty safe."

"Hmm. Just make sure you're not out too late, and I think that'd probably be fine. I just…" He made a face. "I really don't know, Mikey. I'd recommend asking April; it sounds fine to me, but I'm hardly a good source."

"Don't I know it," I joked.

Leo chucked his towel at my head. "Ha, ha. You should probably start getting ready if you want to get to work on time. I'm going to head out for a run, but I'll see you tonight, alright?"

"You got it. You can give me a pep talk before I head out. Oh, hey, and what do you think about the four of us going on a run this weekend?" I asked carefully.

Leo paused at the door. "A rooftop run, you mean?"

I nodded. "It's gonna be a new moon Saturday," I cajoled. "Plenty dark."

He hesitated, glancing out the window, then nodded slowly. "Yeah, alright," he said, nodding like he was warming up to the idea. "We'll ask Don and Raph and see if they're up for it too."

I grinned. "They will be. It'll be awesome."

He smiled back, tapping the doorjamb as he headed out. "Have a good day at work, Mikey."

"You too, bro." I knew I was practically bouncing as I headed to the bathroom for a shower. It was Friday, I had a date tonight, and we were gonna go for an old-school run this weekend.

It couldn't get any more awesome than this.

* * *

**Oroku Karai**

The week had been infuriatingly slow since I had seen Leonardo. I'd thought of little else but today, of getting through another meeting with Matsumoto so that I could finally have a chance to see if it truly had been Leonardo, and to follow him back to wherever he and his family were hiding.

I simply had to make it through today, and then I would know where he and his brothers were hiding—after which it would just be a matter of killing them, which would be easy enough. After all, New York was a violent city, hardly a place for four young men and an old man from the country, or whatever their lie was. People died violently every day.

Five more deaths would hardly matter.

I tried to force down my impatience at the thought and flipped a page in the packet in front of me, continuing to review Matsumoto's latest offer. I had managed to hold him off so far, backed by protests from my company's board of directors that the offer was too low. He had been quick to offer to perform due diligence, however, and had come back with a new offer. Much as I hated to admit it, it was most likely far more generous than the company deserved, or than I would get from anyone else. Even worse, my board of directors had reached the end of their patience about their—and the shareholders'—displeasure with the company's results of late. They had voted their acceptance, and my hands were officially tied.

I had failed.

I still couldn't bring myself to accept it; this was my father's company, _my_ company. How could I be expected to simply hand it over to someone, to tacitly admit that I had proven incapable of running it successfully? And yet I had little choice; the board was united against me, despite several members having been hand-picked by my father, and I could tell that it might not be much longer before Matsumoto gave up trying to appease me and simply went for a hostile takeover.

If I bowed to what now seemed to be inevitable and gave up my company, I would have the time and freedom to devote myself wholly to hunting down Leonardo and his clan. But then what? What would I do afterwards? I'd always thought that I would be able to focus on returning my company to its former level once the Turtles were dead. I never imagined I'd have to choose between my father's legacy and his vengeance. I shouldn't have to—but the past months of my life had shown me very clearly that I could not have both. Unlike my father, I was not strong enough to have everything I wanted.

Pointless. All my musings were pointless, because it was out of my hands. The chairman had come with me today to deliver 'our' acceptance of the proposal, and I had no options left.

The only thing I had left of my father was his vendetta; I would not fail at that too.

I closed the packet and looked up at Matsumoto, once again shoving down the desire to strike him. I hated him, how much he reminded me of myself when I first set foot in this wretched city: calm, controlled, successful, with a father's trust behind him. I had none of that anymore, and I wondered if he could tell.

"Your offer is very generous," I said politely, forcing my jaw to unclench, "and we believe it is much truer to the value of the company." I dug my nails into my hand as I committed myself. "We accept the new proposal."

This, then, was how it would end.

"The shareholders will be notified immediately of our recommendation to tender their shares to your offer," my chairman added, polite and effusive enough for both of us. "It has been a pleasure doing business with you."

Of course he would think so; he and most of the other sycophants on the board would be kept on. I, unsurprisingly, had not been offered any such thing, not that my pride would have allowed me to accept it if I had.

Matsumoto smiled and nodded. "And you as well. We are delighted that we were able to come to an agreement; this company has been of great interest to us for quite some time."

It was all so polite I wanted to be sick. "Your interest is a great compliment. Were my father still with us, I am sure he would agree." I got to my feet and bowed, hoping to get him out the door. In truth, were my father still in control, this interloper wouldn't even be here, and if he had shown up, my father would have seen to it that an unfortunate accident befell him—and perhaps that was what I needed to do. It was an intriguing idea, and a great deal more pleasant than my other notion—that if my father had been here, and Matsumoto had appeared, perhaps Father would have been happier to see _him_ at the head of the company rather than me.

Matsumoto got to his feet as well, thankfully unaware of the turn my thoughts had taken. "He has built an extremely impressive company, and made a good decision when he left it to you."

More polite lies. We both knew the company had been failing under my rule for a while, and the humiliation burned.

He and my chairman spoke further as we finished the paperwork, making small talk as I watched my company slip from my grasp. The only consolation was that my part was done; the board would take care of the rest. I did not have to have anything more to do with Matsumoto, or this humiliating mess.

Maybe I _would_ kill him; it would no doubt do wonders for my attitude—but it would be entirely too suspicious. Perhaps it was time for the Foot Tech to earn their keep and arrange a simple car accident. Everyone knew the traffic in New York was horrendous.

I'd have Chaplain look into it. Certainly he ought to know something about cars and what could and couldn't be wired into them subtly.

I saw Matsumoto to the lobby, smiling politely and glad to see the back of him. I was expecting to feel something more than just ambivalent frustration, having lost my father's company, but things had somehow…frozen over. I saw it from a distance, somehow. And besides, I still had one chance left for some kind of victory.

Leonardo. Were my father here, I know he would be tempted to disown me for losing the company, and yet I also knew that if it came down to a choice between the business and Leonardo and his family, he would want their heads as trophies.

I could, and would, at least give him that.

I had little time left to change and prepare, and now that our meeting was done, Leonardo would no doubt be there any minute…and I was not willing to wait another day when I might have the chance to kill him, or at least find out where he and his brothers were hiding. There was no way that—

"Ms. Oroku?"

I turned to see two police officers standing behind me and immediately stifled my instinct to tense in preparation for battle. The last time I had been approached by "New York's finest" had been after the Utroms had presumed to pass judgment on me and had sent me back to earth. The police had had dozens of questions, unsurprisingly, and it had been several weeks before I was free of their interference and constant invasions of my privacy. Since then, I had been careful to ensure that all of my public dealings and actions were beyond reproach, and had schooled my followers into greater levels of care and invisibility for my nighttime dealings. I could not think of a single reason why they should approach me now, no deals that had been too noisy, no risky operations, nothing—unless Leonardo or his brothers had done something to one of my warehouses. A chill ran down my spine; perhaps the police had somehow connected me to the warehouse the Dragons had invaded the other night. I ordered that all cargo was to be kept free of my mark to avoid such a thing, but mistakes were all too common these days. "Good day, officers. Can I help you with something?" I asked coolly.

The younger one nodded politely. "We just had a few questions we'd like to ask you, Ms. Oroku."

I bit the inside of my cheek. Not now, not when Leonardo would be here any minute. I had waited all _week_ for this! "Certainly. Out of the lobby, if you don't mind? My employees are conducting business, and I would prefer they are not disrupted."

"That would be fine," the older officer allowed. I disliked the look of him; he was flinty-eyed, an obvious veteran with a hard face, with a vague glint of disapproval in his expression. My father had taught me long ago that the older officers, if they were not among the ones that were under our thumbs, were the dangerous ones, the ones committed enough to their duties to stay for years in an unforgiving and thankless job. That such a person had been sent did not comfort me.

"Ma'am?" Shinji, my supposed secretary, appeared at my elbow and coughed lightly, ducking his head in apology to the officers. "I apologize for the interruption, but…I assume you will want to reschedule your 1 o'clock appointment? Unless you'd like me go in your place?"

I had not forgotten, naturally, but he had provided me with an excuse to brush the police off quickly and make it clear they were infringing on my time. "Will this take long, or would it be possible to do this another time?" I asked them bluntly, striving for a look of concern rather than annoyance. "I'm afraid this is a commitment that would be difficult to reschedule."

"I'm afraid we need to talk to you as soon as possible," the older officer said in return, looking suspiciously less than sorry.

"It shouldn't take too long," the younger one assured me hurriedly, missing the reproving look his elder shot him. No guarantees on that end, apparently.

Anything was too long; Leonardo would be here any minute, and gone just as quickly. There was no time—I saw Matsumoto get to his feet across the lobby, smiling as his sister approached, turning to nod at—

Leonardo. It had to be him. I memorized his features quickly, pretending to glance at the clock. I could not lose him, not now, but the damn police would not accept any excuses. I would not miss this chance; I could take them to one of the conference rooms, it would be easy enough to kill them, to have some of my men meet us there and do it for me—

I caught myself, biting the inside of my cheek deeply to force back such madness. I refused to lose my mind like this, to sabotage myself. At one time I never would have though of something so foolhardy and impossible, but now such thoughts just seemed appropriate. They seemed _right_. What they were, though, was a death sentence. I would not lose my mind like Stockman and destroy my life and chances by acting out in madness.

Instead it seemed I would lose my mind through impotence as all I once had slipped through my fingers.

"At this point, Shinji, I'm afraid you'll have to go in my place," I said tightly, not bothering to hide my annoyance. Leonardo was _mine_, and there was no justice in the fact that I had to turn him over to someone else. "I expect you to keep a close eye on things and let me know how it went as soon as you return."

"Of course." He nodded and took his leave, and I turned to the officers, wrestling my expression into a pretense of calm.

"If you'll follow me, gentlemen." I was well experienced in controlling situations and the benefits of doing so, and the best way to do that was to treat these men like men, not officers, and to remind them who was in charge within this building, whose territory they had set foot in. They would be less haughty and more hesitant in what they tried to accuse me of if they were reminded of my position and what they risked by being incautious. I led them to an empty meeting room, nodding for them to sit down while I took the chair at the head of the table. "How can I help you?"

The younger one took a seat, while his senior simply stood near him. I suppressed a frown, since the position not only forced me to split my attention between them, it also set him higher than me; it seemed I wasn't the only one who knew how to play this game. "I'm Officer Walton, and this is my partner, Officer McKennon," the younger one offered. "As we mentioned, we have a few questions for you regarding a couple incidents."

"We received a call from a resident a couple days ago regarding what she thought was a sniper on an apartment rooftop near her home," McKennon said, his eyes on me. "When we investigated the call, we found a man dressed completely in black and apparently conducting surveillance on a store across the street. He was armed with several weapons—knives and a sword, to be specific—though no gun."

I shoved down the rage and panic that flickered in me as a suspicion started to form, forcing my expression into one of mild confusion. "Then I suppose I should commend you on apprehending him, whoever he was. I'm afraid I still don't see how this concerns me, however."

The younger officer glanced at McKennon, who pulled a small packet out of his jacket and opened it to reveal several photos. I prepared myself for something no doubt incriminating, taking firm control of my emotions; nothing would show on my face beyond what I wanted them to see. I could and would deal with whoever had failed me so spectacularly later. The first photo was placed in front of me, showing one of my Foot soldier's uniforms, empty of said soldier. I blinked at it, then glanced up at the officer.

"I assume this is what your…peeping tom was wearing?" I looked back down at the photo and tapped it. "Why is my company's logo on it?" Better that I ask the obvious question rather than them; ignoring such a thing would be far too suspicious, and I would not let them trap me by asking the question themselves.

"We were hoping you could tell us that," McKennon replied.

I frowned at him, one hand still on the photo. "If I knew, I wouldn't ask, officer. As I'm sure you saw while you were in my lobby, my employees do not wear such…" I waved a hand at the picture, curling my lip slightly. "—such embarrassing articles of clothing. I would like to know who is violating my ownership rights and using my logo for some—some perverse prank."

Another photo was set in front of me, and I noticed that while McKennon's expression had not changed, his young partner looked a bit less certain. "This is the man behind the mask, as it were. Do you recognize him?"

I examined the second photo, grateful for the years my father had spent training me in controlling myself as I recognized Akito. Stupid fool, what had he been thinking? I had thought him better than this, had only allowed him to watch the O'Neil—or rather Jones—woman's shop because he was one of the few left who could be trusted not to be caught or to try and run. "I'm afraid I do not," I lied matter-of-factly. "Who is he?"

"We've been unable to get a name out of him, or any response, for that matter," Walton replied. "And he is not in any of our citizen or foreign visa databases. We're actually not positive he knows English at all, for that matter. Are you certain he isn't familiar? An old employee, or perhaps a business rival?"

I shook my head. "I have an employee database that you can verify with, but I am certain he has never worked for me. As for a rival…you think someone is seeking to undermine or sabotage my company?"

"You did say that you were in business talks with another company," Walton pointed out.

I frowned, covering up my satisfaction at this naïve young thing all but handing me a scapegoat. "I am," I confirmed. "One Seiichi Matsumoto from Tokyo. He is interested in acquiring my company."

Walton jotted something down in a notebook, which was a good sign. While they likely wouldn't approach Matsumoto outright for fear of starting a diplomatic incident, especially since I was obviously their prime suspect, I imagined there would be some discreet inquiries made, and any attention diverted from me was a blessing. "Have you been in contact for a while?"

"A handful of weeks. He contacted me a few times through phone and email before he came here to hold the talks in person."

"And how are the talks proceeding?"

I tamped down my rage at the reminder and raised an eyebrow at the young officer. "I'm afraid that is a question I cannot answer, as you should know; business information that could affect the stocks is not shared until an official press release is sent out by the company. Anything else borders far too closely on insider trading, which you should know."

He flushed slightly at the reproof my words. "I apologize. We are merely trying to ascertain whether he might have anything to gain from implicating you in these incidents."

"Incidents?" I repeated. "There has been more than one?"

McKennon cleared his throat, obviously fed up with his partner's bumbling. "There was, this past weekend. A call was made reporting a disturbance in one of the warehouse districts down by the river, and officers dispatched to the scene found members of the Purple Dragon gang, as well another individual dressed in the same…outfit. We don't know if your company's logo was on his attire as well, since it had obviously been torn in the fight, but it matches in every other way." Another photo joined the other two. "This was the man wearing that one."

"I'm afraid I do not recognize him either." I leaned back, regarding them curiously. "Is it some kind of gang war?"

"We're pursuing that possibility, among others." McKennon slid me a piece of paper. "That's the address of the warehouse in question. Is it one you're familiar with?"

I read over the address, already knowing full well exactly where it was, and shook my head absently. "My properties are not in that area; my primary holdings are just a few blocks north from my headquarters. I don't—" I looked up at them. "You think that was one of my warehouses? You suspect me of being involved with all of this?"

"We're exploring all leads at this point, Ms. Oroku," McKennon said formally.

"And by your own admission, the only thing leading you to me in this case is some sort of jumpsuit with my company's logo on it, is that correct? You think I have some sort of—black ops brigade running around the city? I have nothing to gain from a group like that, especially since by all appearances they seem to be completely inept," I said curtly, knowing how true that supposed misdirection was. "Similarly, I have no connection to either of these men, whoever they are."

"We're just being thorough, Ms. Oroku. Give some of the similarities—" Walton stopped suddenly, seeming to swallow his words.

Oh, this young idiot was a blessing; I could tell from the slight flush on his face what he had been about to say, and he had handed me my escape on a silver platter. "Similarities? Such as the fact that I am also Asian, is that what you mean?" I asked curtly, letting annoyance creep into my voice. "And as another Asian, of course I would recognize these men? And since I am Japanese, of course I would be connected to such a thing, since all my fellow countrymen and I are either martial arts experts or yakuza members?" I came to my feet, looking at them both disdainfully. "I took time out of my day to help you, I have been patient and cooperative, and in return you accuse me of—of being the leader of some band of men in unitards running through the city, simply because of the origin of my birth. I have better things to do with my time than be insulted, officers, so I hope you'll excuse me. I also hope that in the future, you will put forth a bit more effort in your investigations. If you find out who is poaching my intellectual property, or if you have more questions rather than insults to pose, feel free to call me. Good day."

Despite my bravado, my heart was racing as I left, certain that I would be called back at any minute. My fears proved unfounded, however, as I made it to the front desk unmolested. I paused to talk to the employee that had been stationed there, requesting that the day's surveillance footage be set aside for me; I wanted to get a better look at the 'human' Leonardo had become. In the middle of our conversation I caught sight of the officers leaving out of the corner of my eye, McKennon quietly and sharply berating his partner, and some of the tension left my shoulders. Instructing the employee to hold all my calls and forward the messages at the end of the day, I headed for my private office to try and think.

I was running out of time and options. Never before had the police had enough information or related occurrences to suspect the company, let alone dared to confront me or my father on said occurrences. That they had both the information and hubris was infuriating and unacceptable. Even worse, they were untouchable; there would no doubt be records of them having visited me, as well as their purpose for doing so, which meant killing them was out of the question—such an act would be tantamount to walking straight into the police station and handing them records of my black market dealings. If I could not make them disappear, I had to make the issue itself disappear—or _I_ had to disappear.

For the first time in years I contemplated the idea of returning to Japan. Never before had I considered it, and for good reason; not only was I too busy with my father's work in New York, returning was as good as admitting defeat. But now…well. I didn't have to admit my defeat for it to be obvious. I had lost my company, had all but lost my reputation, and had yet to avenge my father. All I could count on these days, it seemed, was the consistency of my failure.

But there was still a chance to salvage at least one situation. If Shinji managed to follow Leonardo back to wherever they were hiding, I could at least avenge my father. And truthfully, that was the most important thing. I never would have had a reputation worth speaking of if not for my father, and the company had only ever been a front for the public and a way to get back to the stars and continue his attack on his home world. Were I to ever see him again, I might possibly be forgiven for allowing the company to fail, and he would not care what anyone thought of me.

But I would be dead to him forever I did not at least take Leonardo and his family down with me.

The shrill ringing of my phone tore me from my musings, and I recognized it as my private line. My heart caught in my chest as I answered it. "This is Karai."

"Mistress, it is Shinji. I—I regret to inform you that I was unable to follow the man you suspect to be Leonardo to his home," he reported hesitantly, his voice all but shaking over the phone. "He stopped at a dojo downtown, and was there for some time. There were no appropriate shops or establishments across the road that I could wait at, so I could not stay to see him leave and follow him elsewhere. I am sorry, mistress."

I closed my eyes, imagining myself spitting the idiot on my sword along with Matsumoto. It was a pleasant fantasy. Yet another failure—wait. "A dojo, you said?"

"Yes, mistress."

"The address, now."

He rattled it off, and I gripped the phone tighter. It was the same address Chaplain had given me, the old man who was Matsumoto's family friend and his link to Leonardo. It was a lead, and another place to trap him; if Leonardo had any kind of attachment to the old man, it would be an effective way to draw him out as well if the dojo was targeted. I could leave a calling card, to make sure he knew why his new friend had been targeted, and I'd let his guilt lead him right to me.

"Is the dojo still open?"

"No, mistress. The hours I was able to find on the door have ended already, but its hours for Saturdays begin at 10."

Hardly any delay at all, and yet still longer than I wanted to wait. Had I gone myself, had the damn police not interrupted, I could have tracked Leonardo myself, rather than sending some shrinking little thing afraid of a few sideways glances from idiot pedestrians. I could be watching him walk into whatever hideaway he was staying at _right now_, but instead I had to wait until tomorrow morning. "Return to headquarters. We will discuss your failure later."

"Y-yes, mistress."

I slammed the phone down, gazing out the window. Tomorrow, then. I would find this man and get what answers I could from him. I was one step closer to finding Leonardo.

One step closer to vengeance.

* * *

**A/N**: As always, concrit and reviews are always appreciated, and I apologize for the quasi-cliffhanger. Next chapter in a week! (It's 95% written, and I am off to work on it some more as soon as I get this chapter posted.)


	18. Chapter 18

_**Disclaimer**: see previous chapters._

As promised, here's the next chapter! Time-wise, it's not technically the weekend anymore in my time zone, but it is in a few others, and I didn't think you guys would mind if I was technically an hour past 'the weekend.' ^_^;; Just a note to help keep the timeline straight, since a lot is about to happen: the last chapter took place on Friday, as does Mikey's date (the first part of this chapter); everything after that takes place the next day.

Copious thanks as always to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! **TGabbyS, greshunkai, Alluring Alliteration, KooKoo 4 Kaiba, Mourning Star under the Moon, cuzimaw3some317, Hily, Rika24, Sabrinasidd, Drunken Boxer,** and **Silver Lightning Blade,** you guys rock my socks off.

And… yeah! I can't think of anything else that needs to be said, other than hold on; things hit second gear as of this chapter, and won't really slow down from here on out. It'll be fun. ;D I'll try to have the next chapter out as soon as possible, but it'll probably be a couple weeks as we just started another issue/set of deadlines at work. No more 4-month delays, though, or I will give out my address so you guys can send me hate mail, honest. :b

Enjoy!

* * *

**Leah Wilson**

I grimaced at my watch as my cab finally pulled up to the gym, handing the money over the seat quickly as I saw I was running late. I'd spent an extremely frustrating hour trying to get ready without having any idea what I was getting ready for; all Mike had said was to wear comfortable shoes and something casual, which could mean anything. It could mean we were just going to a movie, or that he was thinking of doing something active like rock-climbing—because Julie had been right, he did have great arms. But at the same time, I was not going on a date with one of the cutest guys I'd met in months dressed like I was going to the gym. One outfit had led to another as I tried to find something I could probably do anything in while still looking good, and now I was really hoping Mike hadn't gotten there early.

I glanced around and spotted him leaning against the wall by the gym's entrance easily, his shock of white blonde hair making it easy to pick him out. "Mike!"

His head popped up at his name, and he grinned when he saw me. "Hey! How was your day?"

"Not bad. Quiet, since I wasn't working. I got a few things taken care of, which was nice since the schedule changes pretty much eliminated my weekend."

"Cool." He bounced on the soles of his feet slightly, then blew out a breath. "Okay, so, I'm sort of new at this, so apologies if it's really obvious." He pulled a hand out from behind his back and offered me a pair of flowers.

I blinked, surprised, and couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. "You got me flowers?" I took them from him, startled by the weight; they were heavier than I'd expected, and—wrapped in plastic, from the looks of things. "Heavy flowers?"

He grinned sheepishly. "I got some tips from one of our friends. She said flowers on the first date are usually a good move, but I had no idea whether you were a flower person or not. Plus I remembered we were meeting here, and it'd be really awkward to bring you flowers since they'd just have to be carried around, and they'd probably be dead after a couple hours in the city air, and I thought that'd be a bad omen. So then I figured, chocolate flowers."

I glanced down at the flowers I was holding and tapped one, the solid sound and the weight finally making sense. "Chocolate flowers?"

"Yeah. 'Cause, you know, flowers, which are a date thing, and chocolate, which everyone likes," Mike said quickly. "And the bonus is that being chocolate, they're edible, obviously, so you won't have to carry them around for long. So…you know, theoretically, a good move all around."

There was no way not to laugh at that and how nervous he looked, like he thought he'd gotten it wrong; he was ridiculously endearing. "Definitely a good move," I assured him, smiling at the delicate lily and handing him the pink daisy. "But you'll have to help me with them."

His shoulders dropped in relief, though he looked a little confused as he took the treat. "Do you only like white chocolate?"

"I love any kind of chocolate, but I shouldn't eat both of them; I don't need the calories."

He blinked. "Why would you worry about that? You look great."

I'd always been curvy, taking after my mother, but I knew that a lot of guys preferred skinnier girls, so the honest confusion in his voice was admittedly validating. "Flatterer," I said lightly, unable to keep from smiling. "Still, I don't need both; they'll go straight to my hips."

Mike grinned slightly as his eyes darted to my waist before flying up to my face again. "Would it be grounds for getting slapped if I said that I don't see how that would be a bad thing?"

I knew I had to be blushing, but I couldn't help but laugh. "Not if you leave it there," I managed. "Shut up and eat your flower."

"Yes ma'am." He matched me as I unwrapped my flower, then grabbed my free hand. "You ready to go?"

"Sure. Where are we going?"

"Central Park. Have you ever been?"

I nodded, still wondering what the plan was. "It's practically a requirement if you live in the city. I've only gone a couple times, though, and just to run along some of the tracks."

He grinned. "Cool. Then I'll probably have some new stuff to show you."

"Have you gone a lot? I thought you were pretty new to the city."

Mike bit off a petal from his flower, looking sheepish. "About that…" He swallowed. "We—my bros and I—ran around the city a lot before we actually moved here, once we were about fifteen. Our dad didn't really want us to, but, you know, four guys and an extensive list of Places You Should Not Visit, and well…we couldn't really help ourselves. Well, most of us couldn't; Leo just happened to be outnumbered in being the only one who thought we should listen to our dad."

"What are your brothers like, if you don't mind me asking?" He'd mentioned them in passing, but hearing about them made me realize I didn't really know much about Mike's family or home life.

A wide grin spread across his face. "They're great. I mean, we're all nuts in our own ways, but I have awesome brothers. We were all adopted when we were really little, so we don't actually know who's the oldest, but as best as we can figure, it goes Leo, Raph, Don, and me. Dad gave us all fancy artist names."

"Really?" It took only a second to put it together. "So your name is really Michelangelo?"

"Guilty as charged. It's why I go by Mike; a lot less of a mouthful."

"And you're the baby of the family."

He hummed as he worried off another chocolate petal. "Tough job, but someone has to do it," he agreed as he swallowed. "Anyway, we're all pretty different, so growing up together was kind of nuts. Leo's about as different from me as you can get; he's always been the responsible one, trying to keep us in line. Real serious, big on training and reading, likes to think a lot about things."

"Training?"

Mike nodded. "We've practiced martial arts since we were little."

A light bulb clicked on. "That's how you pulled off that routine," I said accusingly.

He laughed. "Yep. Our dad would assign flips as punishment if we acted up—you know, screwing around during lessons, playing pranks, fighting with each other—and I logged a lot of 'em over the years. I can do 'em with my eyes closed at this point."

"Do you work with anything specific? Or, I don't know, practice with weapons?" I knew people who took classes, but I'd never met anyone who'd grown up trained by their father.

"Yep. I work with nunchucks; and I'm pretty kick-ass, if I do say so myself."

I snorted as he buffed his nails against his shirt. "I'd like to see a demonstration sometime."

"Yeah?" His smile was bright and surprised. "Cool. Yeah, definitely." He snagged my flower's 'stem' as I finished and tossed it in a trashcan with his own. "Anyway, where was I? Right, Leo. So yeah, he's real serious about stuff, but he's definitely got a fun sense of humor, even if he doesn't show it all the time. Then there's Raph, our resident hothead. Think of the most impulsive guy you know, give him an attitude and the Hulk's temper, and you've got Raph."

"Sounds…interesting?"

"He's great too," Mike assured me. "We were always close growing up, and the temper thing is just an occupational hazard. He's big into bikes—motorcycles—and cars, and sparring. Awesome sense of humor, unfortunately big on noogies. And Donnie is like the brain child of Albert Einstein and that one guy with the—Stephen Hawking, that was it." His free hand flew through the air. "He's crazy smart, seriously a genius. He's been taking stuff apart and putting it back together since we were kids; he actually built us motorcycles once, out of spare parts from old ones, just to see if he could. He taught himself physics and stuff, and he's got a mad scientist lab and everything. And he's totally chill about it, too; if you ask him about some crazy-looking thing on his desk, he's just all 'oh, that?' Like it's just a toaster, when really it's like a particle accelerator, or a laser beam, or a mini robot that can climb walls. Probably one of the most easygoing people I've ever met."

"They sound interesting," I said honestly. "And really, really different. What about you?"

"I'm the funny, good-looking one," he said without missing a beat.

I laughed. "And the humble one, too, right?"

"Totally," he agreed. "I'm big into video games and comics, and I love movies; we've got an awesome collection, and the superhero ones are hands-down my favorite. But I'm not as much of a nerd as that makes me sound, honest."

"Uh-huh, sure you're not."

"I'm not!" he insisted. "Appreciation for superheroes totally makes sense."

I shook my head and sighed theatrically. "If only I'd known before I agreed to go out with you…"

He made an indignant sound, looking wounded. "All the cool people like superheroes."

"All the cool people like Wonder Woman," I corrected him with a smirk.

His face nearly split with a smile. "You're awesome," he said seriously. "So what else do you like? Any fun siblings in your family?"

I made a face. "I wish. My brothers…we've always gotten along alright, but we were never as close as it sounds like you are with your brothers. I'm the middle child, so there was a lot of overprotective brother behavior from both of them in between trying to keep my younger brother in line and hardly ever seeing my older brother. He can never stand to sit still, so he's always traveling—and as a Marine, that means serious traveling, all over, so we only see him rarely when he's on leave. My younger brother…" I sighed, shaking my head. "It's like he's planning to let me and Mark—the older one—be productive enough for him too. He's in college but just kind of coasting while he does his prerequisites, though my mom says he's actually showing some interest in computer programming."

"Yeah? Well, if you want a role model for him, or just someone to show him the power of the geek side, let me know; Donnie's done some crazy things ever since he first started playing with computers."

"Programming all the computers to swear with the voice software?" I asked, thinking of some of the stupid things guys had done in my computer classes in college.

"More like accidental power outages."

I stared at him, hardly noticing as he tugged me through the gates to the park. "You're kidding."

"Nope."

"Details."

He laughed. "Okay, so right after Donnie found—and rebuilt—his second computer, he came across this website that talked about what was supposedly some really cool program for linking multiple computers and running some sort of nerd Holy Grail routine…"

I was in tears by the time he finished the story—Mike had a way with storytelling, no question—and resolved that his brother should _never_ be allowed to teach my brother half the things he could do with a computer. I'd hardly noticed we'd worked our way farther into the park—I'd never gone out with someone who was so comfortable and fun to be with, and I was starting to wonder why I hadn't noticed how much I liked spending time with him before this. Mike interrupted my thoughts when he tugged at my hand again, stopped at a vendor stand, and ordered us some hotdogs.

"Best hotdogs I've ever found here," Mike told me in a mumble as he set into it. "The guy's amazing."

I snorted and reached over to swipe at his nose with a napkin, catching a smear of relish. "Didn't your mother ever teach you not to talk with your mouth full?" I teased.

He swallowed and stuck his tongue out at me. "Don't have one."

Open mouth, insert foot; I could have happily disappeared into a hole. "Oh my gosh, Mike, I'm sorry, I didn't know—"

"Whoa, calm down! It's not a big deal, it's not like I lost my mom, I just never had one. Our dad has rocked the single parent thing from the get-go," he said quickly, flashing me a reassuring smile. "No offense taken. And he tried to work on the talking with your mouth full thing, but with four kids at one meal…sometimes you have to go with the lesser of two evils."

I hid a quiet sigh of relief that I hadn't inadvertently walked straight into a painful topic for him, even as I wondered why it had never come up before. The affection was obvious whenever Mike talked about his family, but he'd never really mentioned them before other than in passing. "So basically I should be glad we're eating on the run rather than where other people can see us?" I teased.

"I'm totally housebroken," he assured me. "And even if my table manners weren't five-star, I'd totally make up for it by being an awesome cook."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "You can cook, and yet you're wining and dining me with chocolate flowers and hot dogs?" I drawled, clucking my tongue disapprovingly as I tossed my trash.

"Hey, I figured 'you should come over to my place and let me feed you' leaned more towards mildly creepy than impressive for a first date." He popped the last of his hotdog in his mouth and dusted his hands off on his jeans. "I'm saving the big guns for later, in case I need an ace in the hole to make sure you stick around."

At the rate he was going, he wasn't going to have to cook to keep me interested; just being with him was doing that. Tyler had never—

I wanted to kick myself as the thought of my ex burst the mood. He'd pulled out all the smooth moves when we first started dating, which I later learned were so smooth because he'd used them so much; he went through girls like pages in a phone book. But Mike was different, I told myself sternly; he was completely genuine.

And looking for something serious too, hopefully, or else I was an idiot for how much I liked being with him already.

I smiled slightly, taking a few steps away to push myself up to sit on the wall that ran along the path while I tried to shake off thoughts of Tyler and get back to the lighthearted tone from a few seconds ago. Mike stopped where I left him, looking a bit lost. He waited for a second, but finally sidled over to stand beside me.

"What's wrong? Did I say something stupid?"

"No, I just—" I sighed, deciding to just confront the issue outright. "I know this might make me sound like one of those crazy girls you see in the stalker movies, but I want to know if you're taking this seriously, or if it's just a game to you."

He propped his forearms on the wall and set his chin on top of them, looking up at me intently. "What makes you think I don't take games seriously?"

I blinked. "Excuse me?"

He grinned, lopsided and boyish, and I shoved down the urge to kiss him; he had an unfairly amazing smile. "One of four brothers, remember? All you learn growing up like that is competition. Plus, you know where I work—a gaming company. Games are my job; I've got to take them seriously. So even if this was a game to me, which it isn't, that wouldn't necessarily mean I don't take it seriously."

"Then what is this to you?"

Mike blinked like he didn't understand what I was asking. "It's a date. Did you want me to—was I supposed to make it something really serious the first time? Is that why we had the whole almost literal jump-through-hoops thing?"

I flushed slightly, even though he didn't sound accusing at all. "No, that was—the last guy I was involved with…didn't take me or the relationship seriously, and I'm not looking to get into that again."

The smile was back, but softer and almost knowing—older, somehow. "You don't think I'm serious about stuff because of the jokes and movie references and everything."

I tried to protest, but there wasn't anything I could say that wasn't a lie. "It's just…it's hard to tell what you're serious about, sometimes. I know you're honest about everything, but—" I winced inwardly, knowing I sounded like I was jumping the gun. "I just want to know how serious you are, and what about." I liked Mike, more than I'd realized when I agreed to the date, and I didn't want to get my hopes up if he was just looking for someone to have fun with.

He nodded. "I get that a lot, actually. Thing is, Leah, I've always figured that there's no reason why I can't take things seriously in my own way and still enjoy them at the same time. Leo's worried and taken everything super seriously all our lives, and it hasn't made him happy; matter of fact, it's hurt him in a couple ways. And yeah, I know that the fact he took everything so seriously is probably why I've been able to have so little to worry about, but my point's the same. If you get to know me, you'll see that there are a lot of things I take seriously—and games are totally one of those things," he added with a grin. "But if you want a cheat sheet, here are the others: I take family seriously; my brothers and my dad are the most important things in my life, hands down. Family _always_ comes first—it doesn't get any more serious than that. I take martial arts seriously; we've practiced that ever since we were little dudes. But I have fun with it too, because like I said, to me, it's not one or the other, you know? You're allowed to take something seriously and still have fun with it or make jokes about it."

He glanced up at me, his expression solemn. "And I take chivalry seriously too; a real guy knows how to treat a lady right, whether you're together or just friends or total strangers. I've seen enough dudes that are douchebags to know that I never want to be like that."

It was impossible not to believe him. "Mike, I don't think you could be a douchebag if you tried," I said, trying not to laugh at the word.

Mike grinned. "I sure hope not." His smile softened a little, and he held my eyes with his own. "I'm also serious about pursuing the things I want," he added softly. "I like being happy, and I like having awesome people around as much as possible. I'm kind of greedy like that."

There was no helping the shiver that went up my spine at his words and the look in his eyes. "Including me, you mean?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah," he said simply without a single hint of embarrassment. "And I—I don't date around. Or much at all, really; I've never met anyone who was up for my kind of weird and different. And so I figure, if I find someone who isn't scared off right off the bat, they're someone worth getting to know for the long haul. I mean, that's what you're supposed to do on a date, right? Get to know someone you like?" He made a face. "Unless I'm doing this totally wrong. I don't think I am, but that's what I'm trying to do: spend time with you and get to know you, because I like you. There isn't anyone in my life that I haven't known for at least six years. Everyone who's closest to me, I've known them for most of my life, and through some of the worst years. I've never really gotten to know someone slowly over a long period of time."

Other than the fact that he was interested in this being more than a one-time thing, I had no clue what he was trying to say. "What do you mean? Isn't that how you meet everyone?"

"Well, living where we did, we didn't really have any neighbors, you know? Not a whole lot of people in our part of the boonies. I grew up with my brothers and father, so obviously I've known them forever. And as for our closest friends, we met them when we were about fifteen, right when we were looking for a new place to live. They helped us out during a tough time, and meeting people in that kind of situation…bonds form a lot faster when you're going through hard times than they do in normal circumstances, y'know?"

I didn't know, not really. I could tell there was a lot behind Mike's words that he wasn't sharing, though, and I was definitely curious. "What happened to your home?"

Mike's mouth quirked to the side in the closest expression I'd ever seen to bitterness on his face. "Some whackbag ended up trashing our house while working on some stupid pet project of his. We never would've been able to take him to court, so we just ended up having to find a new place. April and Casey—they're our closest friends, they're family, really—they were with us after that, through anything and everything. So trying to get to know people normally, just seeing them once or twice a week...it's weird, you know? The only times I haven't been with my bros 24/7 was when Leo went on a couple training trips."

I couldn't help gaping a little. I couldn't imagine growing up with my brothers as my only friends, or being with them constantly—at least, not without wanting to strangle them. "And you all still like each other?" I blurted out.

Mike laughed, his head thrown back. "Yeah, that seems like the logical question, doesn't it?" He snickered a little more, but his expression was fond. "Yeah, we do. I mean, we've had our rough times. Heck, years fourteen through eighteen were pretty uncomfortable to be honest; Raph and Leo—my two oldest bros—bumped heads pretty much daily. And I mean that; there was literal head-bumping sometimes. Don and I got real good at staying out of the way, and Donnie in particular got to be really good at playing peacemaker. He could probably talk Lex Luthor and Superman out of a fight if he had to. But things finally worked out between 'em, and it's been good since then."

"Can I ask another question?"

"Shoot."

"Why didn't you ever leave, even if only for a little while, while things were bad? Just to get some space?"

He blinked. "Leave?"

"Go somewhere else, move in with—I don't know, some of your relatives."

I couldn't identify the look on his face when I said that. "There wasn't anywhere else for me to go, Leah," he said plainly. "My brothers and dad are it. There aren't any aunts or uncles or grandparents lying around. And even if there were, I wouldn't have left—wouldn't have wanted to. They've been my whole life while I was growing up, y'know? I've never once in my life had to be alone, never had to do anything alone. Even if I always had a pain in the sh—pain in the ass that was driving me crazy, I also always had someone who had my back. The idea of going out somewhere alone, by myself, where I didn't know anyone and didn't have anyone to count on…" He shook his head. "It's a scary thought. And I love my bros, even when they drive me nuts; leaving would've hurt them as much as it hurt me. I couldn't do it."

"Mike, I can't see you failing at anything you really tried to do, with or without a support system. I feel like you could go anywhere and make friends."

Mike jumped up to sit next to me and leaned back, planting his elbows firmly in the flowerbeds behind us. "Friends, sure; anyone can make friends. But they'd probably just be skin-deep friends, y'know? Lend you a cup of sugar, give you a ride to work if your car broke down, that kind of thing. But I've never had just friends before; there isn't anyone in my life who I couldn't count on to do anything for me, if need be, and they know they can expect the same thing back. And I don't really know that I'd want it any other way, y'know?" He shrugged. "Weird as we prob'ly seem to everyone else, it's the rest of the world that seems weird to me, Leah; I just don't get how anyone could love with just half their heart."

I almost felt guilty, listening to the way Mike described his friends and family. I got the feeling that there was a little, or possibly a lot, that he was glossing over or downplaying, except when it came to the people in his life. I was guilty of having a lot of friends that were just skin-deep, as he put it; people like Julie, who I liked and would help, but who I didn't go out of my way for and who didn't expect that in return. What would it be like to know everyone in your life was as close as family and cared about you that much?

"You're right," I said softly. "Your way…it sounds a lot better."

He huffed a sigh and spun a quarter-turn away from me, then leaned back until his head was propped on my leg, staring up at me calmly. "It is. But it's got its downsides too. Having someone love you that much…it's a responsibility in its own way. You've gotta make sure you can take care of yourself, so that even if someone's willing to risk themselves for you, they don't have to. Leo like that; he's all about the actions to prove how much he cares about us, like it's not immediately obvious to anyone with eyes. He's basically been taking care of us for—well, since I can remember. And I'm trying to give some of that back now, to pay him—all my bros, really—back for letting me be the little brother all these years, but…" He shook his head.

"He won't let you?" I guessed as I rested my hand on his hair in order to keep it from tickling my leg. How on earth was it so soft? I hoped he didn't use conditioner; I couldn't help being weirded out when guys used more hair products than I did. Of course, if it was naturally that soft, then there was no justice in the world.

"Right in one," he agreed, tilting his head into my fingers. "Or—it's hard to explain. I guess it's more like he doesn't get what I'm trying to do, sort of. And in a way, I guess I can understand it. I mean, if you've been the one taking care of people all your life, you don't really know how to be taken care of yourself. So that's where I am now, kind of understanding where he's coming from and still being sort of frustrated with him for it."

I scratched my fingers through Mike's hair, wondering at how open and unashamed he was about affection, asking for it and talking about it; I was used to most guys only being interested in being affectionate as a way to stake a claim. But Mike…as I was quickly discovering, it was genuine with him—and hard to deny him anything.

"Has anyone told you that you act just like a cat?" I asked pertly, tugging on his hair as I tried to distract myself and save him from what seemed like a touchy topic.

Mike grinned at me and mimicked a purr that I felt through my leg and all the way up my spine. "No, but I've recently discovered how awesome it is to have your hair played with, and I'm thinking they've got the right of it."

"I'm surprised you don't think it's just a liability. Three brothers and you've never gotten a hair prank? Nair in your shampoo? A noogie?"

"Oh, heck yeah, I've gotten plenty of noogies; Raph's knuckles are practically imprinted on my skull. But no, no hair pranks, we just went bald."

I snorted. "You're kidding."

"I swear. Bald as cue balls. Dad's a hairy guy; he always had enough for all of us."

My stomach hurt by the time I stopped laughing. "Oh—oh gosh, Mike, don't take this the wrong way, but you would look so strange bald."

"Not telling me anything I don't know, babe," he replied with a grin. "I officially just bought my first hair brush. It's weird."

"Oh, come on, you're kidding."

"Nope. Not a hair on my head. We did have some brushes at home, but those were our dad's; back hair like you wouldn't _believe_," he insisted. "He uses conditioner and everything—"

"Ugh!" I slapped a hand over Mike's mouth, only half-faking my gag. "That's gross, even if it _is_ a joke!" I'd known some hairy guys in the past that came close to Mike's exaggeration, and it was _not_ something I wanted to remember.

Mike mumbled something against my palm and I shook my head. "I'm not letting go until you promise to pick a different topic," I promised. One of his eyebrows started a slow climb upwards and I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to look stern and failing. "And I swear, if you lick me, you'll regret it. I had brothers too, and while my kind of revenge might be less violent, but it's _much_ more emotionally scarring."

He held up one hand and placed the other on his chest, but despite his attempt to look serious, I could feel him grinning under my palm. "Mhmmps."

"Uh-huh." I pulled my hand away slowly, only to have him peck a kiss to it in an instant. I promptly shoved him off my lap and the wall, figuring the three-foot fall would only hurt his pride—

But of course he just twisted in midair to land on his feet like a cat, bowed with a flourish, and offered me his hand. "Milady, I consider myself schooled."

I jumped down on my own and brushed off the back of my pants. "Somehow, I highly doubt that." I folded my arms and stared at him, trying to be even a little annoyed and completely unable to manage it; it was like trying to stay mad at a puppy. Finally I just sighed and grabbed the hand he was still holding out. "Come on, you dunce."

He tugged me closer, bumping our hips together. "So does that mean you're willing to gamble on taking a chance with a dunce?"

I rolled my eyes, trying to fight off a smile. "Yeah."

Mike smiled. "Cool," he said quietly. He squeezed my hand before launching into a story about a place in the park he wanted to show me; he and his brothers had found it years ago and discovered that had a great view of the outdoor amphitheater. They'd been pumped about the chance to be sneaky and see a show for free until they'd realized it was an amateur rendition of _Hamlet_ by local drama students.

I just shook my head and laughed as he tugged me along to see if the spot was still open, saying he was sure there was something like a jazz or rock concert tonight and promising we'd leave if it ended up being country.

His enthusiasm was infectious, and though I definitely wasn't going to tell him so yet, I was pretty sure Mike wasn't going to be a gamble at all.

* * *

**Kimura Hitoshi**

I glanced up as the bell rang out over my door, half-expecting to see Leonardo-san come in, though in keeping with his (often successful) attempts to sneak up on me, he rarely allowed the bell to announce his presence. Instead a young Japanese woman stalked in, a man of similar origin trailing behind her.

It took me a couple seconds, but I was able to recognize her. If I wasn't mistaken, I was being visited by Oroku Karai, an occasion made doubly unusual considering the fact that we had never met. In fact, I only knew what she looked like after having ventured to the computer once Yuki-chan mentioned whose business Seiichi-kun was pursuing. When I saw her picture, I had thought that she seemed a very tense-looking young woman, her smile like glass and just as easy to see through. There had been no joy in her, and very little given away beneath composed features.

It was, apparently, not simply a matter of a bad picture or having an off day; the young woman standing before me seemed just as fragile. Or perhaps that was the wrong word for it. High-strung, perhaps—or brittle, rather, as there hung over her the impression that not only was she under a great deal of strain, but there was also the chance of her breaking under it, to the detriment of those around her.

My day, it seemed, was becoming interesting.

I set down the paperwork I'd been paging through and smiled, slipping my glasses off. "Good morning. May I help you?"

Oroku-san gave only the briefest of smiles in return. "I hope so. Are you Kimura Hitoshi?"

That was unexpected. The only person I knew of that she could gain my name from was Seiichi-kun, and while he could have mentioned me in a discussion, he was unlikely to do so, as I had nothing to do with their business venture. "I am. Have we met? You know my name, but I confess I do not remember meeting you."

"I am Oroku Karai," she answered, giving a short nod. No explanation, no response to my question. "I got your name from one Matsumoto Seiichi. We are…currently engaged in business talks."

Hm. She was wiling to reveal the truth of who she was, but I had my doubts as to how exactly she "got" my name from Seiichi-kun. It would be worth asking him. Beneath the hurried formalities, I was getting the impression that she was here for information, and if it was about Seiichi-kun or his father and business, I was going to have to disappoint her.

And I must confess, I was rather looking forward to it. No patience in this one, obviously, and only the barest attempts at civility. She would no doubt quickly become annoyed with an older man's usual rambling kind of conversation. Unfortunately for her, I enjoyed my rambling, almost as much as I enjoyed aggravating people by seemingly unbearably dense.

"Indeed. Well, I do hope Seiichi-kun did not recommend me to you for lessons, Oroku-san," I said with a smile. "This old man's knees hardly work the way they used to."

Another twitch of her features, a sneer forced into a smile, and she shook her head. "I'm not here for lessons, Kimura-san."

That was obvious to anyone, particularly since she walked like someone who already had some training. "Oh? Is there something else I can help you with, then?"

"I came to ask you about a Leonardo Hamand."

Now that I had not been expecting, and I had to catch myself to keep from doing anything more than blinking in surprise. If she had come to me, pretending not to know Leonardo-san was foolish, but I had a feeling that telling her anything specific would be equally foolish. "Leonardo-san? Do you know each other?" I asked, striving to sound curious rather than caught off-guard.

Something hardened in her eyes. "We do," she replied tightly. "Through our fathers."

"Such a nice young man, ne? So polite," I said brightly, hardly missing the way her jaw clenched at the words. Apparently we differed in opinion on Leonardo-san, which said a great deal about her, and yet not enough about why she'd come to me for information. I'd heard the gossip surrounding this young woman's father, and when combined with the stories Leonardo-san had told me about his own father, I could not see the two having any connection.

"You know him well?" she asked.

"Not as well as I'd like, but he has stopped by a time or two," I said unhelpfully, nodding my head. None of it was a lie, even if it made us sound like strangers. "You said you know each other through your fathers? Childhood friends, perhaps?"

The sneer twitched back towards her lips before she wrestled it down. Maa, no poker face at all on this one; Rae-chan could teach her a few things. That child cleaned me out almost every time we played. "No, our fathers were…business associates. Do you know where I could find him?"

Ah, apparently she was done trying to dance around the subject. That was a question that was easy enough to deflect, which was good, because the possible purpose behind her asking it made me wary. She was fishing for something, that much was obvious, and nothing in her manner made me think she had good intentions for the information. I debated dropping the act and informing her that if Leonardo-san wanted her to know where he was, he would have told her—and the fact that he hadn't said a great deal. It was a passing fancy, though, as I had a feeling my best bet was to continue playing dumb, and not just because it was amusing to frustrate her.

"A busy young man like him? Children at that age can hardly be kept track of. Are you trying to get in touch with him?" I asked solicitously in response. "I don't have a number or address for him, but I could certainly take a message in case he stops by this week or next."

Anger and something like caution flashed in her eyes, and one hand briefly curled into a fist at her side. "That's not necessary," she said shortly. "I'll try to get in touch with him another way." She nodded curtly and turned for the door, the silent young man that had accompanied her right on her heels. I shook my head. Her subtlety needed a great deal of work.

"I'll let him know you were looking for him!" I said cheerfully to her back, not missing the way her shoulders tensed. Interesting. My words were nothing but the polite offer everyone made in such a situation, but her reaction said she'd taken them as a threat. This was becoming more and more intriguing, and worrisome; I could think of no good reason why Oroku-san would want to find Leonardo-san without him knowing she was looking for him, particularly since she did not strike me as the type to plan surprise visits on old friends.

For that matter, she did not strike me as the type to have friends, either.

"That's not necessary," she repeated as she glanced back at me, trying for a smile that looked more like a grimace. "I'd hate to put you out."

"Maa, it's no trouble at all," I assured her, flapping a hand dismissively as I donned my glasses. She certainly hated something, but I was positive it was not the thought of inconveniencing me. "I'm sure he'd be glad to know you stopped by."

Another short nod. "Indeed. Good day." Another shrill jingle from the bell, and she was gone.

The smile dropped from my face, and I sat back slowly. This was a puzzle that was going to require a great deal of thought—and some very careful handling.

I had known since he began visiting me regularly that Leonardo-san was holding back. Though he had told me about his family and his background, he had been very vague on the specifics. I knew he and his family had lived most of their lives in near total seclusion from society, and that although they had visited, they were new to living in New York City. He left out where they had lived, only saying that they had had to move several times and that his father had returned to his homeland of Japan of late. I knew he and his brothers had studied martial arts all their lives and that he was skilled with swords. He seemed to think deeply about almost everything, and despite his usual composure, could often be startled into acting his age with the right amount of teasing. He enjoyed green tea, as well as Japanese history and lore, was passionate about martial arts and a fine blade, and there was nothing he wouldn't do for his brothers.

And that was very nearly the sum and total of the hard facts I knew about Leonardo-san.

Yet for all that there was obviously a great deal about my friend that I didn't know, I was convinced that whatever Ms. Oroku wanted to speak to my friend for, it was due to issues on her end of things rather than his. Leonardo-san spoke little about his past, and yet he was utterly honest in sharing his thoughts and opinions. Though he did not share a great deal about his life, he was honest about himself, and I had no doubt that what he _had_ told me was the truth. He was utterly genuine; I could not see him as a liar or fake, not a young man who found it impossible to keep from blushing when Rae-chan teased him or who spoke with such solemn care about his brothers. I might not know who he had been, but I felt confident in my growing knowledge of who he was.

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was near enough to the lunch hour that I could get away with closing the dojo for a break; I had a great deal to think about, and several clues about Leonardo to piece together if I was to get a better idea about what was going on. In a matter of minutes, I had the sign turned to 'Closed' and a cup of tea in hand as I settled myself in my office.

Now then. What specifics did I know about Leonardo and his past? I knew he had three brothers, and that the four of them all had been adopted by their father as children. I knew his father was originally from Japan, and as such had raised them with the old traditions as well as martial arts. Indeed, I had my suspicions that they had been raised rather more stringently in the arts than Leonardo let on; he moved and handled weapons like one who had had dedicated training all his life, not like someone who had merely trained as a pastime for a handful of years.

I was most curious about Leonardo-san's father; he had obviously done an excellent job in raising my young friend—and, I was certain, his brothers—and yet I had several questions about him. After all, most people would agree that a kind man would not raise four young boys as a clan of warriors rather than as children—and yet a cruel man would not adopt four orphans as his own to raise without any help.

Why, then, the near-militant upbringing? Leonardo-san's father was obviously a master of martial arts, which would explain his desire to pass the training onto his sons, but I had never known any master—or father—to insist on it. And from some of Leonardo-san's comments, I gathered that his brother Donatello preferred peace to battle—yet I knew from those same stories that their father did indeed love them a great deal. So why insist upon all four sons being trained, regardless of their temperament for it?

Likely for the same reason I insisted upon Na-chan learning at least the basics of martial arts from me, despite her lack of interest in pursuing them: protection.

I frowned and sipped my tea. That could be one of the keys—if not _the_ key—to this business with Oroku-san and her claims of the relationship between her father and Leonardo-san's. I had an idea that perhaps the "business" Oroku-san had spoken about so vaguely was clan business. If their families had been enemies, which seemed more than possible given Oroku-san's barely-veiled animosity toward any mention of Leonardo-san, then perhaps Leonardo-san's father had been trying to prepare his sons for the next generation of a clan feud. While such things were not unheard of even in this day and age, the idea that the feud would be settled physically was. It was unsettling to think of Leonardo-san involved in a feud of a violent nature, and even more so to think that he and his brothers might have been trained simply to win that battle.

But it was useless to jump to such conclusions without any real evidence, especially when Leonardo-san did not act like someone who had been raised as a weapon. The fact of the matter was that I would never know unless I asked my friend myself; all I could do was hope that he would trust me enough to tell me the truth.

The next issue, of course, what was to do with that knowledge. While ordinarily I would expect a young woman who had risen to be the head of a large company to understand discretion when it came to one's personal life, Oroku-san obviously did not know how to be careful—or perhaps didn't care, which was another issue. Approaching me when I could—and as far as she knew, would—warn Leonardo-san of her presence was foolish and hasty. Unfortunately, there was likely nothing I could do to help Leonardo-san in this situation, especially if he declined to share any information, and it would undoubtedly be better if I stayed clear altogether.

But Leonardo-san was my friend, and a good young man, even if there was apparently a great deal he was not mentioning. And while it was hardly my business which parts of his life he kept private and which he saw fit to share, I had a feeling it would be good for both our sakes if I talked to him about the high-strung young woman who had come looking for him. If there was any reason to be concerned about Na-chan's safety, I would much rather know it sooner rather than later.

I did not think Oroku-san was an old flame, but it was impossible to be sure; the anger in her voice and eyes had been a very personal one, the kind born of a sense of having been wronged, not just from an impersonal feud. I sincerely hoped that wasn't the case; that would throw things off completely between Leonardo-san and Na-chan, and Na-chan was obviously a much better match for him.

I finished my tea and set the cup down with a sigh, gaining my feet and calling a farewell to Na-chan up the stairs. I wanted to speak to Seiichi-kun and get his opinion of Oroku-san, and see where the new information would take me. There was a chance Leonardo-san would be by today, and I wanted to make sure I had as much information about the situation as possible, both for my own curiosity and so I could give my friend the facts he needed if his past had found him again.

* * *

**Kimura Naomi**

I swore loudly, glad my father wasn't around to hear it as I tried to tug at the hank of hair anchoring me to the kitchen cabinet. This seemed to happen with annoying regularity. At least once a month I'd get my hair caught in or on one thing or another; a door, a zipper or button, even in my laptop on one occasion. Each time I swore to myself that I'd cut it all off—or at least trim it to a more reasonable length—but either tou-chan or Rae always talked me out of it. To be honest, they never really hard to try that hard to do so; I'd always worn my hair long, and the thought of cutting it seemed ridiculous.

This time, though, I was seriously considering it, and not just because I was annoyed; I didn't think I could actually get my hair untangled without cutting it. Tou-chan had left to visit Seiichi barely half an hour ago, and all classes were done for the day. I was on my own until tou-chan got back, and if he took his time—which I knew he could when it came to talking to people—I was looking at either spending the entire afternoon standing in the same place, or having to take some drastic measures.

I'd just started thinking about reaching for the nearest drawer, where I was fairly certain (and hopeful) that we had a pair of scissors, when the bells over the door rang, cause for another round of swearing. I was in no mood or position to deal with any students, mine or my father's, and quickly debated between pretending that no one was there and asking for help. Depending on who was at the door—

"Hello? Hitoshi-san?"

It was Leo. I sighed, relief eclipsing the newly familiar, opposing reactions of unease and comfort that I felt around my father's friend these days. "Leo? It's Naomi," I called, raising my voice to carry downstairs. "Can you come upstairs, please?"

"Naomi? Is everything alright?"

"In the grand scheme of things, yes," I shouted. "On my own personal scale, no, it's—" I jumped as Leo suddenly appeared in the doorway—I hadn't even heard him on the stairs—and lowered my voice to normal levels. "—not," I finished awkwardly.

Leo's face was hard and set, like he'd been expecting me to be hurt, and it wavered into confusion at the sight of me standing alone and uninjured in the kitchen. "Are you…okay? What's wrong?"

I sighed. "My hair's stuck in the cabinet hinge," I explained, trying to keep the embarrassment out of my face as I pushed some of my hair aside to show him the problem. "I can't reach it well enough to untangle it without yanking it all out; it's too close to my scalp. Could you…?"

The confusion on his face was quickly replaced by understanding and a touch of bemused humor. "Oh. Sure." He looked around for a minute before flicking on the kitchen light overhead, then moved to my side to get a look at the situation. "Can you move any farther forward?"

"Not comfortably."

"That's alright." I could practically hear Leo's hesitation, but a second later I felt a gentle touch against the tension of my tangled hair as he carefully started to tug strands free. "Let me know if I hurt you," he said absently, draping the rest of my hair over my shoulder.

"I will," I promised. He didn't respond, and I knew him well enough by now to know he had probably only heard me peripherally; Leo could focus on something to the exclusion of everything else and yet still be aware of what was going on around him. He could be deep in a conversation (or argument, since my father loved to argue) with tou-chan, and yet still seemed to know I was there if I paused by the door to listen. Sometimes it felt like the more I learned about him, the less sense it all made. He came by several times a week now to visit, and even when my father didn't invite me to join them for tea, I found myself gravitating towards them anyway; I couldn't help being curious, and as much as I hated agreeing with my father, Leo was very easy to talk to.

Easy to talk to, but hard to read. Everything about him seemed like a walking contradiction sometimes. There was at least one subject, though, that he always seemed willing to talk about.

"So how are you brothers doing?" I asked, searching for something to break the lingering quiet. Leo never seemed uncomfortable with silence, but being around him sometimes seemed to make it heavier.

"What? Oh. They're doing well," he said. "They love the city, and their jobs, though I know Raph feels a little crowded from time to time."

Something they had in common; I hadn't missed the relief that was often on Leo's face when he entered the dojo and escaped the people on the sidewalks. "That's not unusual, living in New York. As often as you talk about them, I'm kind of surprised you haven't brought them by yet," I said without thinking. I blinked and tried to backpedal. "I mean, not that you have to—"

"—just that it's a little odd, considering how much time I spend here," Leo finished for me. I could just see his face out of the corner of my eye, and his expression shifted, oddly enough, to something I'd almost call guilt. "You're right. It's just…I've never really had anything that was just mine before," he said thoughtfully, eyes on his hands. "I mean, I had a room of my own and things like that, but I've never really had anything separate or secret from my brothers. Everything was always kind of—communal property. I never really resented my brothers for it, because that was just how it was. We didn't have much, so we shared what we did have. But now they're telling me that I need to try being more selfish." He shrugged. "So having a retreat, something separate from the rest of my life…it's unusual. Nice, but unusual…and something I don't really feel like sharing right now. It's nice to not have to make any excuses for why I'm sticking with what's familiar, rather than branching out." He glanced up at me. "Does that make sense?"

I got the oddest impression that Leo was almost asking for approval, for someone to tell him it was alright to keep something to himself. What kind of life had he had that having something personal, something just for himself, seemed so weird?

"It does," I said quickly. "Having your own space is always important, just as important as having parts of your life that are your own. When I was young, it took a while for me to stop resenting tou-chan's students for what I saw as intruding into our home and taking up his time. But then he explained that the second floor was ours alone, and he guaranteed that no one would ever be allowed up here unless we invited them. With that in mind, I adjusted, especially as I got older and started having my own classes here. But there are still places I go in the city without my father or Rae, places that are my own, so I understand where you're coming from." I hesitated for a second, then pushed on. "I would like to meet your brothers one day, though." My father's machinations aside, I was admittedly curious to see what Leo's brothers were like, especially given the way he'd described them; they all sounded so different from Leo, and yet he talked like they'd been raised inseparably.

His mouth quirked up in a small smile. "I'm sure they'd like to meet you too, but you'd have to promise me that you'll help me keep Mikey from plotting anything with your father."

"If he's anything like Rae, I promise I will."

Leo chuckled slightly and fell back to work.

The repetitive, gentle tugging on my hair might have been soothing if it wasn't for the situation. It occurred to me suddenly just how alone we were. I wasn't at all worried about Leo hurting me, and couldn't imagine being afraid of him if I tried, but I couldn't help being—unsettled. Anxious, almost. I could hear him breathing, measured and steady and quiet enough that I had to listen for it even as I felt it fanning the hair on my neck. The smoky scent of incense lingered around him, a scent I didn't recognize that nonetheless had a sense of _home_ at its base after so many years of having sticks of incense littered around our apartment and the dojo. And I could feel him, warm and solid at my side. The sudden intimacy of the situation, unintentional as it was, made my stomach tighten.

"Are you almost done?"

"Nearly," Leo replied, his tone distracted. I waited for the inevitable question of 'why don't you just cut your hair?' that seemed to be everyone's response when this happened. "How long have you been growing your hair out?" he asked suddenly. "Our female friends…their hair is a lot shorter than yours." He sounded almost bewildered, like he was trying to work out a puzzle. "I have no idea how long it would take to grow hair this long, let alone take care of it."

I blinked at the unexpected question. "What? Oh. Most of my life, I guess. I wore it long when I was young, like most girls, and after my mother died…I didn't feel like losing that connection to her."

Leo's hands paused fractionally in my hair, and I tried not to shiver as his knuckles brushed against my neck. "Did your mother wear her hair long too?" he asked carefully as he picked up where he'd left off.

"Yes. It always looked so refined on her. It always frustrated me that I could never pull it off the way she could," I admitted, my mind in the past.

"I think—ah." There was one final tug at my hair before the feeling of tension disappeared, the mass of it falling into place against my back. I turned to look at Leo, grateful to be able to move my head again, to see him closing the cabinet with a look of satisfaction. He smiled at me. "I think you pull it off just fine," he said simply.

My stomach clenched again at the weight in the air, but trying to think of a way to change the subject was like running in amber. "Thank you."

"Anytime," Leo replied. I tried to ignore the way it sounded like an offer, because I knew that wasn't Leo; he could hardly handle Rae flirting with him, and there was no way he'd pull out a line like that one his own. Still, the word hung there, and the way a hint of red crept into his face told me he could feel its weight too.

It was ridiculous. He was just a friend, my _father's_ friend, for heaven's sake. It didn't mean anything. Leo was just…awkward in his own way, despite usually being so collected. It was simply contagious, apparently. I gave him a quick smile in return, gathering my hair nervously and starting to twist it into a rough braid. "Now you know why I keep it tied back all the time," I joked weakly.

The bell rang out over the door downstairs, and I had to stop from sighing in relief at the interruption as I turned away and headed for the stairs. "That should be tou-chan; he was out for a little while to go see Seiichi-san about something."

Leo followed me down the stairs, and I wondered suddenly why I'd never noticed how soundlessly he moved. I'd heard the bell over the door when he'd arrived, but never even a single step on the stairs. Even now I couldn't hear his footfalls behind me, just the occasional brush of clothing.

I made a beeline for tou-chan's office, hoping he'd be in the mood to chat with Leo so I could make some excuse to duck out and get some space. I couldn't help being aware of him all of a sudden, and I needed to get a hold of myself.

"Is that my favorite daughter I hear?"

I rolled my eyes, unable to help smiling at tou-chan's old joke despite my nerves. "It's your only daughter," I replied, ducking into the office. "And a friend."

A handful of lines eased in tou-chan's face when he saw us, as if he'd been worried about something, and a second later he was smiling. "A two-for-one deal! My luck is good today, it seems."

"Or bad, depending on who you ask," Leo joked easily.

"Leonardo-san, you could never be bad luck," tou-chan said quietly, oddly serious for a second.

Leo blinked, then smiled slightly. "Did you have a nice visit with Seiichi-san?"

"Ah, of a sort, yes. It was rather more a matter of catching up on a few business issues that had been brought to my attention, but it's always good to see him." Tou-chan puttered around his office. "He says Oroku Corp. has accepted his latest offer. It will come in below what his father set as the offer limit, so that should make all involved rather happy—other than Oroku-san herself, I'd imagine."

Leo tensed beside me for a second before shifting quietly. "He told me yesterday about the deal closing; it's good news." He smiled slightly. "He mentioned a celebration, too; I think he's been a bit frustrated with how long this has taken."

"He has, and I think a party is an excellent idea," tou-chan agreed. He glanced up. "Leonardo-san, are you able to stay for tea, or was this merely a quick visit?"

"I'd be glad to stay, if you don't have any classes coming up."

"Fortunately, I have the rest of the afternoon free. Would you mind grabbing the tea service from the kitchen?"

"Of course." He turned for the door, stopping to look at me. "Should I grab settings for three?" he asked.

I wanted to hug him for giving me the opportunity to duck out. "Actually, I have to—"

It was almost impossible to track what happened next. I heard the rasp of a sword leaving the sheath as tou-chan quickly drew the katana he kept over his desk, and then suddenly Leo flew into motion. Tou-chan had only drawn a few inches free of the sheath when Leo whirled around, spinning to face him again and shunting me behind his back as his hands came up in a guard.

It was all over in the span of a few seconds. My heart was racing like I'd been trying to chase down a bus, and I hadn't even moved. "Tou-chan, what the _hell_—?"

"Just a minute, Na-chan."

Leo was watching tou-chan with wide eyes, but he didn't move an inch, set and motionless. "Hitoshi-san?"

"I apologize for that, Leonardo-san, both for the surprise and for testing you, but I wanted to confirm something." He sheathed the blade and set it down on his desk, watching Leo quietly. "It is not merely as a pastime that you have been training all these years, is it? Reactions like that take years to ingrain to the point that they are that instinctual."

Leo looked cornered suddenly, like he'd been caught over a broken vase. "I don't—"

"And it is not out of a desire to reconnect with a childhood friend that one Oroku Karai dropped by the dojo today asking where she could find you, either," tou-chan said softly, his tone gentle despite the challenge in his words. "Is it?"

I glanced between them. "Tou-chan, what the hell is going on? What are you talking about?"

"Should I leave?" Leo asked softly, less like he was afraid of the answer and more like he was just resigned.

Tou-chan was still watching him. "I would appreciate the chance to talk, actually, if you're willing."

Leo glanced between us, and I could have sworn I saw his eyes dart to the door as well, but he nodded slowly, his eyes on the ground as he finally dropped his hands and eased out of his stance. "I…you deserve some answers," he agreed tiredly, sounding as though he'd just lost something.

Tou-chan came around his desk slowly, like he was afraid Leo would spook and run, and moved past us to draw the blinds at the front of the shop. "Na-chan, could you grab the tea service, please?"

I could tell my father knew what was happening, but it made him the only one—or rather, the only one in our family. Leo obviously knew why tou-chan was asking all of those odd, leading questions. And judging by the way they both were reacting—the dismay in Leo's expression, the severity in my father's that I rarely saw—it was something serious; all the holes in Leo's past and more, possibly.

And he was offering answers. Mild heart attack or no, I wanted to be around for that.

The question was whether Leo wanted anyone else around for it. I set a hand on his arm. "Should I grab settings for three?" I asked quietly, offering him the same out he'd given me.

He met my eyes, looking so much older than just a few minutes ago. "You really want to stay for this?"

It was impossible to tell if he was asking because he didn't want me there, or because he couldn't believe anyone really wanted to know what lay in the parts of his life he skirted in all his stories. Or maybe it was a last chance to leave, because…there was something heavy in the air, in Leo's words. It hadn't been embarrassment in his face when tou-chan confronted him about Oroku Karai, whoever she was to Leo. He'd looked scared, but more than that, he'd looked trapped, like he was caught by something too big to avoid. Maybe he was really asking if I wanted to get drawn into that.

I just knew I wanted answers. I wanted to know why Leo shared only the bare minimum about himself. I wanted to know why he'd looked so panicked at the mention of Karai's name, why the idea of her being here was cause for such concern. I wanted to know what was going on, period, because I didn't understand how Leo could have shared so much about himself over the past weeks, and yet apparently there was still more to him.

I wanted to know how it was possible to hide an entire part of yourself from people while still making it seem like you had everything out on the surface. And…and I wanted to know what would make someone feel like that was necessary in the first place.

"I'd like to," I answered. "If that's alright."

He just nodded, and I slipped away to grab the cups and teapot.

By the time I had tea steeping and made it to the sitting room, Leo and tou-chan were already waiting at the table. I set the cups out in front of them and wrapped my hands around my own, grateful to have something to do with my hands. We sat quietly for a minute before Leo set his cup down. "What did Karai—what happened when she was here?" he asked, the question directed at the top of the table.

"Nothing untoward," tou-chan said quietly, and Leo's shoulders dropped a full inch at the words. "She said she was looking for you, and asked how well I knew you and if I knew where to find you. Unfortunately, at my advanced age, I am particularly bad at keeping track of such a busy young man, especially one I hardly know," he drawled blandly, using the air-headed tone I recognized from when he was bored and playing games with telemarketers or with people who treated him like they thought he was senile just because he was in his fifties. "When I asked how she knew you, she said your fathers were business associates."

Leo snorted, seemingly in spite of himself. "Not quite. They—our clans—it's complicated."

Tou-chan looked at him, his expression sympathetic, like he understood. The way he said it, using the word "clans" instead of "families," made it seem like something weighty. "Tell us what you can, then. Start from the beginning, if you can and if it helps."

Leo looked grateful for the reprieve. "It started a generation ago in Japan," he said slowly. "Or—or two, I guess, depending on how you count it. Our father's master was named Yoshi. Master Yoshi was part of a group—sort of like unofficial peacekeepers, I guess, is the best example I can think of. They protected people, looked after those who couldn't look after themselves. And Oroku Saki…he was a killer," Leo said stonily, his face dark. "He always has been. Master Yoshi was eventually sent here to America, and Saki followed. He knew of the group and wanted information, but Master Yoshi wouldn't talk, and so Saki tortured him. Sensei was there and he attacked them, but he was…" His mouth quirked slightly. "He was too small to really be able to do much. Master Yoshi was lost, and our father had no chance of avenging him then, so he ran. Some time after that, he found us, me and my brothers, and raised us."

Every word was bit off, like it was hard to say, and the brevity said more than it didn't; it was the barest, most to-the-point explanation, and it was obvious he was choosing his words carefully. "So your training…it was to carry on the grudge?" I asked carefully, hoping I was wrong. Who could expect that of a child?

"_No_," Leo's eyes were harder than I'd ever seen them, and I regretted my question. He caught my flinch and grimaced apologetically, visibly calming himself down. "He wouldn't ask us to do what he couldn't. But he knew we were at risk, and he wanted us to be safe, to be able to protect ourselves and each other. We met Saki for the first time when we were fifteen. I met him first. I didn't—I had no idea who he was. Our father hadn't told us the story of his past yet; I think he didn't want us to know that we had such an enemy in the world. Anyway, that was around when we'd first started visiting the city, with or without permission. I was out by myself when I came across Saki; he tried to trick me, talking about working together to protect the city. It was what we'd all kind of fallen into anyway, helping people because we had the training to do so, and to find that there was someone else out in the city who felt the same…" He cut himself off, shaking his head tightly. "I fell for it, like an idiot."

"At fifteen, Leonardo-san, everyone is an idiot," Tou-chan said gently. "It is one of the great curses of life."

Leo's smile was brittle. "That's not an excuse, not when I put my family's safety at risk because I was naïve." He shook his head. "I wanted to believe him, but my brothers talked some sense into me, said it was suspicious, convinced me to talk to Sensei. I did, and he told us the whole story. The next time we saw him, I told Saki what he could do with his lies, but he…he wasn't a graceful loser. He never has been; that's what started all of this in the first place. He came after us. We laid low for a few weeks and thought that would be enough…but it wasn't. He found us, and there was…a fight," Leo said quietly. "It didn't go well. When we could, we retaliated…and we thought we'd ended it. But Saki is…resilient."

"When did his daughter come on the scene?" Tou-chan asked, his voice careful.

"Later. Months, almost a year after it all started," Leo answered, scrubbing a hand across his eyes. "I should have known better, should have been less of an idiot after how badly I'd messed up the first time, but I wanted to trust her. We are—were—alike in some ways, in terms of our philosophies…just not in our morals. I trusted her, and showed her that she had every chance to leave him, that we could be allies, but she wasn't willing to. The next—the final time," he corrected himself, "I knew where her loyalties lay; I _knew_, and I still offered her one last chance. She didn't take that either. Things…went badly. But Saki's—his kin found us, and they dealt with him. Before he came here to kill people, he'd committed crimes against his own people. He escaped custody, and they'd been working to get to him for years and finally had a chance. We'd worked with them before, and they helped us—saved us, really."

I felt the knot in my stomach tighten. I'd wanted to know what was hiding in the holes in Leo's past, but I hadn't wanted to hear something like this, or the heavy way Leo passed things off as going "badly." What exactly did he mean by being attacked? And they'd all only been fifteen, caught up in a grudge that wasn't even their fault, with someone who had apparently continued hating Leo's family for over twenty years. How did you fight against that kind of hate?

"I don't remember ever hearing anything about his arrest, just that…rocket rumor," I said slowly. It'd been all over the news, filling the tabloids and even some of the reputable papers, but no one knew what to make of it. No one had been able to find Saki or Karai to ask them anything, either; they'd both disappeared, and Saki had never been heard from again, while Karai suddenly reappeared in police custody a day later.

The corner of Leo's mouth twitched up slightly. "That was…a demonstration. And no, he was never arrested here; the authorities here could never hold him. But the authorities from his homeland could, and they imprisoned him. Karai blamed us, blamed me. She's never forgiven me for it—she never will, I don't think. She wants to finish it."

Worry lined tou-chan's face. "And you, Leonardo-san?"

"I want it over with," he whispered, his eyes tired. "But—we always lose something when this happens, and I think this time it'll be our new lives here in the city. I don't know how to tell my brothers I'm the cause of that." He glanced between us. "And now I've gotten you involved as well; I don't even know how she knew I met you."

"When she came here, she said she got my name from Seiichi-kun, but he is not in the habit of talking about anything but business with strangers. I went to visit him this afternoon and asked some careful questions to find out what led her here," tou-chan murmured, his brows low. "Seiichi-kun said she was asking questions about you after their talks the other day, but all he said was that he had met you through a family friend, so I have my suspicions as to how, exactly, Oroku-san "got" that information."

"She's never been one for observing social niceties like privacy," Leo muttered. "I wish—I'm sorry this happened. I never thought she'd go through you to try to get to me, but…I won't let you two get caught up in this because you're involved with me."

"I don't think this is something that is only your choice, Leonardo-san."

"It has to be. I can't…I can't tell you enough to make you see that this is the right choice, but if you knew…" He sighed, dropping his face in his hands. "If you knew, you'd understand."

"But we do know," I pointed out.

"You don't know enough," Leo said, his voice flat. "Karai doesn't fool around. I went to Japan for—for extra training a few years ago, and she found our home while I was gone. When I got back…it had been destroyed completely, and my brothers and father were scattered around the city after being hunted. And she's become more unbalanced since then, not less. It doesn't matter how long you've known me, or that you're not involved with our history of things; if she thinks you're helping us, that you're an ally, she'll target you."

"Then we'll call the police," I said stubbornly, glancing at tou-chan. He was just watching Leo, not even trying to argue with him, and I wished I knew what he was thinking. It wasn't that I was anxious to get involved in some sort of generational blood feud, but at the same time, I couldn't help being frustrated at the way Leo was talking as though there was nothing he could do about the situation, and nothing we could do to help.

Something almost like humor flashed across Leo's face before he glanced at tou-chan. "Hitoshi-san, you met her; do you honestly think she'd care if someone reported her? Do you really think she's thinking about social mores even in passing?"

Tou-chan didn't argue, which made my stomach sink. How unbalanced _was_ this woman? "She still has to answer to consequences," he pointed out.

"If she's caught," Leo countered.

"You don't think it's too late? That we're not involved already?"

"If she didn't get anything out of you, she'll think you really don't know anything. She'd never expect that I would tell you about…any of this. If you played it the way you did, she'll probably just consider you a lost cause. All the same, she'll probably have someone watching your dojo in case you were lying, but she'll only come back if she thinks you're holding out on her, and she'll only think that if I come back."

_And I won't_ was left unsaid, but I could hear it easily, and realized suddenly that Leo was serious about everything. This wasn't just a vague threat; he seriously thought that we were in danger. And he was equally serious about disappearing until he thought the threat was over. I knew by the frown on his face that tou-chan had heard what Leo hadn't said too. "You're still welcome to," he said firmly. I couldn't help the relief I felt; I could argue with the best of them, but it was tou-chan who excelled at talking people into things.

"The first time one of our friends got involved with one of our messes, her shop and her home were burnt to the ground," Leo said bleakly. "Because of me. She knew all of us, but I was the one who was followed and led trouble straight back to her doorstep…and to my family. And now I've done it again." He looked so tired, and I wondered how much it took out of you to keep fighting the same war for six years, especially when it wasn't even a war of your own making. "I can't do that to you too."

"Leo…"

"I can't be responsible for anyone else," he whispered, meeting our eyes. "Please. It's hard enough as it is, especially when my brothers won't let me protect them."

Tou-chan looked older than I'd ever seen him when he nodded slightly. "I expect you to visit when it _is_ over, however long that takes," he said seriously.

Leo's smile was small. He got to his feet, bowing to us slightly. "I hope I can."

Tou-chan frowned at the noncommittal response. "Leonardo-san…"

Leo shook his head, obviously not willing to promise anything. "I have to go. I need—I need to go warn my brothers. I'm sorry."

He turned, heading for the door, and I found myself standing too. I didn't know where it came from, but I suddenly got the feeling that once he left, we wouldn't be seeing Leo again, not unless we found him—something I somehow knew would be impossible if he didn't want to be found.

I didn't want him to disappear like that. That kind of thing…people weren't supposed to just be there one day and then gone for good the next, not if they were still alive.

It wasn't like we had any claim on him, but…Leo had somehow become part of our life anyway, part of our routine, and hearing his calm, thoughtful voice interspersed with tou-chan's teasing questions and laughter seemed as everyday and expected as my yoga classes, for all that he had only been there a short time in the grand scheme of things. And tou-chan adored him; Leo's old soul made him something between a son or nephew and a friend for my father, someone on nearly equal footing that tou-chan could still help and advise.

And I…I liked him. He could and would listen to anything, and was much more willing to be quiet and think than Rae was. And when I ignored tou-chan's raised eyebrows and grins, he was comfortable to be around; Leo was someone who, more than anyone I'd ever met, could simply sit and _be_, with nothing else required. I hadn't thought there was a place for him in our lives, but he'd filled one just the same, somehow a kind of ballast and confidante and neighbor all in one. I'd learned to get to know him without knowing anything about who he'd been, and realized that tou-chan was right—it didn't really matter, because Leo was completely honest about who he was, if not where he'd come from. And as tou-chan had put it one day when I'd vented my frustration about all the holes in Leo's stories, since now was when we knew him, the current Leo was the one we really needed to know.

Sometimes he seemed like little more than a polite stranger, one who just happened to be around almost daily, and other times I felt like I knew him as well as I knew Rae. I still didn't understand it, the way he'd somehow become part of our lives so seamlessly through nothing more than just showing up one day, but I didn't resent it.

What I did resent was the idea of him walking out of our lives as easily and with as little fanfare as he'd walked into them, like it was just that simple to claim a space in our lives and then just leave again.

I grabbed his arm, and though I knew he could have pulled free or even thrown me over one shoulder and kept going with little effort, Leo ground to a halt. "Is that it?" I asked, trying to figure out how to properly convey how annoyed I was without just swearing at him. "You just leave, and we're not supposed to ask any questions?"

He looked back at me, confused, his arm flexing carefully in my grip. "You're supposed to understand that it's not worth the risk."

I could feel my eyes narrow. One of the many things I'd come to learn about Leo was that he was usually inflexible, so very certain and solid after years of having to explain and defend himself and his decisions to his brothers.

But he wasn't the only one. I'd grown up having to keep tou-chan in line, keeping Rae out of as much trouble as possible, and fighting off assumptions about what I did and didn't know or feel just because I didn't have a mother. Leo in no way had the most experience when it came to being stubborn.

"That's your opinion," I pointed out tartly. "It's not your place to decide what is and isn't a worthwhile risk for someone else. I know you've grown up having to be in charge of and take care of your brothers, and that has to be a difficult burden. I won't pretend to understand that, but I do understand how it could make it hard to see parts of life as anything other than a threat to the people you love. But even though I've never met them, I think I've heard enough about your brothers to know that they wouldn't let you make a decision like this for them. Don't think we will either."

"Naomi, you don't know—"

"I don't know everything that's going on in the situation, I know," I interrupted. "So you've said. And you seem to be of the opinion that once we know, we'll be glad to see the back of you. But if you really didn't care and just wanted us gone, to be safe or just out of the way, you could have lied; you could have just told us it was a fight between your fathers, and then gone on your way and never come back. But you didn't, you told us the truth, and you did that for a reason. And you know what else I've noticed? You're so adamant about wanting us to wash our hands of you, but you won't tell us the rest of what you're convinced will scare us off, which tells me that you don't really want us to kick you out of our lives. So it looks to me like your only choices are to either tell us the rest of what's going on, or shut up and deal with the fact that we're going to keep caring."

I don't think Leo could have looked more shocked if I'd hauled off and slapped him in the middle of a conversation. He just stared at me for a second, eyes wide and searching, and I wondered what had surprised him more: that we'd refused to just see him to the door or that I had been so vehement in calling him out. I hoped it wasn't shock in having someone actually want to stick with him despite the danger.

Another few seconds passed without him saying anything, and I dropped his arm with a flush of embarrassment for having manhandled him. "We're not family, and I know that that means you don't owe us any answers," I said quietly. "But you do owe us the chance to make up our own minds about what we are and aren't willing to get involved in. Maybe we don't understand the whole situation, but at the same time, doesn't it mean anything that we're still here anyway?"

"Na-chan has a point, Leonardo-san," tou-chan chimed in levelly. "And besides, if things go as badly as you expect, wouldn't additional support be helpful? It is a big world, and four people against that world make for a rather small force. Could it really hurt to have a few more people in your corner?"

"And if you end up getting hurt?" Leo asked levelly. "If Karai burns your dojo, your home, down to the ground? If she comes after you to get to me, and one or both of you end up in the hospital?"

For a split second, I couldn't tell if I wanted to be furious or sad at Leo's implication that we were only interested in knowing him as long as he didn't disrupt our lives or bring anything bad along with him. "Do you really think that little of us?" I asked tightly, moving back a step. "That if something bad happens as a result of knowing you, we'll just turn on you? That we're that fickle?"

He looked stricken, reaching out to grab my hand. "Naomi, no, it's not that, it's—" His hand squeezed mine convulsively before he seemed to realize what he was doing and let go. Frustration and bewilderment flashed across his face. "Why are you making it sound like it's such a bad thing that I want you guys to be safe?"

I folded my arms. "Why are you getting mad at us for not wanting you to just write us off?" I shot back, my voice rising.

"I'm not, I just—you won't listen!"

"_We_ won't listen?"

He scowled at me. "Obviously not."

Part of my brain couldn't help being intrigued that this was the first time I'd seen Leo anything more than exasperated, let alone angry. The other part was informing me that if this was as mad as he got, I could still top him on even my mildest day. "This from the guy who hasn't listened any of the five times we've said we aren't worried about some crazy bitch knowing that we're friends with you."

Leo threw up his arms. "This from the woman who hasn't heard me any of the five times I've said Karai is insane and _violent_. Weren't you listening when I said she broke into our home to try and kill us? Why are you getting mad because I'm trying to keep you from getting hurt?"

I reached out and poked him in the chest. "And who says we need that protection?"

"_I_ do."

Suddenly I felt like I was seeing Leo the oldest brother, and I could understand his brothers' aggravation. "We are perfectly capable of—"

I couldn't track what happened next. All I knew was a firm grip on the wrist of the hand I'd poked Leo with before it felt like I was flying forward. The next thing I knew, I was pressed against Leo's chest, his hand solid around my wrist, which was pinned to my side. His other hand was a careful band of warmth resting with only the slightest pressure against the base of my throat.

"No, you're not," Leo replied quietly.

His point was obvious.

Leo let me go the second I moved, without even a red mark on my wrist where his hand had been. I stared at him, speechless, and I knew my eyes were huge. It had all happened in the span of a few seconds, with tou-chan just gaining his feet before Leo let me go.

Leo backed away from me a few steps to lean against the doorjamb, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. "_Kuso._" He dropped his hands to stare at us, looking wrenched. "I'm sorry, both of you, that was—there's no excuse for that, I just—I just wanted you to understand. That's the level Karai is at. That's the level of the threat. Can you honestly say you'd be okay in the face of that?"

I knew I should have been furious, or scared of Leo, but I couldn't manage it. The hold hadn't hurt, could practically have been a hug for how gentle it had been, and now was not the time to blush at that thought. I'd hardly seen him move, hadn't had time to think of any of the forms tou-chan had trained me in, let alone use them. If that was approximately how skilled Karai was…then I could understand why Leo was insisting we were out of our league.

"I'm sorry," Leo said again, shaking his head. "That—I'd never hurt you, either of you—"

"We know, Leonardo-san," tou-chan interrupted as he reclaimed his seat, though even he looked slightly shocked still at the speed with which Leo had moved. "It was certainly an effective practical demonstration."

Leo didn't seem to notice the hint of humor in tou-chan's voice. "I'm sorry," he repeated. He looked at both of us searchingly. "I get that it's probably frustrating in your shoes; _I'm_ frustrating, I know that, and I know how annoying it can be to have someone talk circles around you without ever getting to the point. But—can you try to see it from my perspective? Have you ever had to face the fact that you almost got someone killed just because they were your friend? Can you really not understand why I don't want to go through that again if I can help it?"

"No," I said quietly, because there really wasn't any other way to answer either of those questions when he said it like that, raw and full of guilt. "But that friend you mentioned—she didn't blame you or say she wanted you out of her life, did she?"

"…No. Sometimes I think it would have been easier if she had," Leo admitted.

I understood that, from times when my temper had led me to yelling at Rae or my father for one thing or another, the way it was hard to accept forgiveness from people who gave it so easily even when you felt like you'd never be able to deserve it. "But she didn't. Did you try to get her to leave too?"

"Yes."

The quiet word knocked me off balance. I'd expected him to try and explain or make some excuse about how it was different with their friend already being involved, not a quiet admittance that he made a habit of pushing people away because he was afraid of getting them hurt. I didn't know how to handle him like this, vulnerable and finally honest and all but asking us to show him the door. "But she didn't," I repeated.

He shook his head silently.

"Good. Then that means you've got some prior experience with being ignored when you're being an idiot," I said tartly.

He was back to gaping at me, which was almost easier to handle. "Look, I'm not…I'm not saying that it's entirely comfortable to think that we might be in danger because of your father's past," I said slowly, carefully putting the blame anywhere other than on Leo's shoulders. "It's not, and it's hard to get my head around, because that kind of thing…it just doesn't happen in this day and age."

Leo's mouth twitched towards what could almost be called a smile. "Maybe not in your family…"

"Right. But even so, that doesn't mean that it's a good enough reason to cut ties with you because of a possibility. If I was going to do that…" I shook my head. "That'd be like deciding not to be Rae's friend because there's the _possibility_ I might get hit on or hurt by some jerk who won't take no for an answer when I go out to the bar with her, or…or giving up yoga because I _might_ lose my balance in a pose someday and seriously hurt myself. That'd be like not loving my father because someday I could lose him just like I lost my mother," I said quietly, swallowing as tou-chan's hand landed on my shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. "You can't live life like that, Leo. You can't live defensively, cutting things and people out of your life because of their potential to get hurt or end badly. That's just life; it's not something you can protect yourself or anyone else against. You just live it the best you can."

He blinked, then huffed a quiet laugh. "I know, I'm learning that."

It was a "you're right" without the "we'll do it your way" that I was looking for. "But…?"

"It's not like I want to do this. I like coming here, and the two of you…I never expected to meet other people who'd go from being strangers to friends so quickly. This…" He sighed and plowed a hand through his hair. "This was supposed to be different, something separate from the way our life used to be. The two were never supposed to collide like this. I'm not trying to get rid of you, I'm just…"

"Trying to set us aside for the foreseeable future?" tou-chan offered wryly. "Can you see, Leonardo-san, how perhaps that might not seem any more satisfactory a solution from our point of view?"

He made a face. "Is it any consolation if I tell you that usually when things like this flare up, everything tends to go horribly wrong very quickly? I might not even be gone long enough for you to miss me."

Tou-chan frowned at the obvious gallows humor. "Oddly enough, that's not very comforting, no."

Leo sighed. "Can…can you just trust that I'm doing the best I can? That this isn't my favorite option either, just my best one? It's not for good, just for now. It means a lot that you're not scared off by this, more than you know, but I need—I'd like to have something, one part of my life, that doesn't get taken over by our past," he said intently. "I want this to be it."

I glanced at tou-chan, who tilted his head in deference. I knew he didn't like it any better than I did, but we both realized it was as much as we were likely to get out of Leo. "Alright," I said reluctantly, turning back to him. "We'll try it your way for now and wait to hear from you. You _will_ let us know when it's over, won't you?"

The relief evident in Leo's face and posture was almost painful. "I will." He reached for a piece of paper and a pen from tou-chan's desk and scribbled something quickly. "If something happens, or you think anyone's watching the dojo, call me." He offered the paper to tou-chan. "The top one is my number, and the second is our friends', in case I—can't be reached. Ask for April, and tell her I gave you her number."

April, I was willing to bet, was the friend Leo had mentioned, and I half thought that regardless of how everything played out, I might end up giving her a call anyway, to see if she had any advice for breaking through Leo's stubbornness.

"Be careful, Leonardo-san," tou-chan said seriously. "There was the sense around Oroku-san of a storm about to break; I do not think she will restrain herself in any way."

Leo nodded calmly. "I know. You be careful as well. Hopefully I'll see you again soon."

"Indeed. Be safe."

He gave both of us a quick smile. "Thank you, and I'm sorry again, both of you. I'll see you later."

We watched him slip out the door, tou-chan getting up to stand beside me as the bell over the entrance fell silent. "He is one of the most aggravating people I have ever met," I announced.

Tou-chan glanced at me with a smile. "This is only the first time he's ever frustrated you, Na-chan."

"He's more than made up for the past months of seeming agreeable and sensible." I blew out a sigh and leaned my head against the doorjamb, feeling drained from the emotions that had been flying around. "I've never met anyone who was so willing to shoulder blame," I said softly. "Why on earth should we have had to talk him into not giving up what he himself said was a haven?"

Tou-chan echoed my sigh and leaned over to place a kiss against my temple. "Some people find it hard to understand the difference between a sense of responsibility and guilt. When you are responsible for someone, it is hard not to take every bad thing that happens to them personally, as a sign that you weren't taking good enough care of them." He patted my shoulder, and I hoped he'd never felt that way about the times I'd gotten hurt. "Leonardo-san, from what I understand, has been nominally in charge of his brothers and their safety from a very young age; I'd wager since at least their early teens, if not sooner. That's a lot of responsibility for a young person, and Leonardo-san obviously takes his duties very seriously."

"Too seriously," I rejoined.

He shrugged. "Perhaps. His brothers would be better judges of that, most likely. I understand your frustration, Na-chan, but we can't force him to include us in every part of his life, especially not ones that are so private and sensitive. We've let him know that we want to be here for him, in any capacity, and he's accepted that. All we can do is hope things turn out well for him, and," he tapped my chin until I turned to look at him, "perhaps try to remember to be grateful that he cares so much about our safety."

I flushed slightly at the reprimand. "I know. And I am, really, it's—I've never had anyone other than you or Rae worry about me that much; not since Mom. But you know how much I like people telling me I can't handle something."

"Indeed I do," tou-chan said with a wry smile. "But the difference, I think, is that such opinions are usually given from positions of concern or mistaken assumption. Leonardo-san is speaking from what is obviously very personal experience." He sobered as he looked back at the door. "You do not react to the sound of a blade leaving its sheath like that unless you are familiar with the worst of what can follow such a sound."

I stared at him, remembering the way Leo had moved when tou-chan had drawn the sword; he hadn't looked scared, just—grim, and alert. "You think he'll be okay, don't you?"

"Six years he has lived through this, and survived three battles, and those only the ones that he told us of," tou-chan said softly. "That speaks highly of his skill. And given that Oroku-san is apparently a threat against his family as a whole, rather than just him personally, he won't be fighting alone, and I cannot think he will allow things to end without making certain his brothers will be safe. And he said he would return, and Leonardo-san strikes me as someone who keeps his promises. I believe he will make it through this, whatever 'this' truly is, but I imagine it will take a significant toll on him."

He sighed and pulled me close, and I went into the embrace readily, needing the comfort. "And then we will see what is left of him on the other side."

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**A/N**: Super long chapter! Oi. There was a lot to fit into this one, since I'm pretty sure you guys would have lynched me (and rightly so) if I ended it any sooner than I did. I'm really excited to see what you guys thought. :D Did anyone see it coming? Was it believable? Still like where it's going? As always, reviews are love, and concrit regarding POVs, pacing, characterization, etc. is always welcome. :)


	19. Chapter 19

_**Disclaimer**: see previous chapters._

This was a longer wait than I wanted for this one, but you can blame that on Karai; this totally wasn't what I originally had planned for this chapter, but she got all sorts of impatient and hijacked the story and screwed up ALL the pacing, so about half of this had to be written from scratch and the other half tweaked, and she's still all pissy about it. Fortunately, to (hopefully) make up for the delay, you get a 40-page monstrosity, because there was nowhere to break this up that made sense/wasn't choppy. Lots of talking and oodles of suspense and then everything hits the fan next chapter—which will be out in about 2-3 weeks, since it's about 98% done and just needs edited and a few adjustments based on what happened with this chapter.

Copious amounts of fervent thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: **Alluring Alliteration, plummy-kins, Laughter's Tears, Rika24, KooKoo 4 Kaiba, Therabidsquirrel, mcmario, Mourning Star under the Moon, Hily, Drunken Boxer, Sabrinasidd, Silver Lightning Blade, Gemdrive, meganechan720, Kallasilya, MegSings, , BraveChicken, Technophobia678, TGabbyS,** and **Yolinanimai.** You guys are awesome beyond words.

And that's it. The first two POVs overlap a bit in terms of timing, starting at roughly the same time, so hopefully it's still clear what's happening when. Also, it's still Saturday, the same day as Karai and Leo's respective visits to Hitoshi-san's dojo; this chapter picks up right where chapter 18 left off. No specific warnings for this one, other than the fact that it's 40 pages long. :b Enjoy!

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**Oroku Karai**

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Failure. It haunted me at every turn. What should have been an opportunity to corner Leonardo had come to nothing.

The old man was a fool, but I had to believe that Hitoshi truly didn't know anything. There hadn't been any fear or recognition on his face when he saw me, and nothing but honest surprise when I'd asked about Leonardo, which meant Leonardo had likely never mentioned me; and if he didn't trust the old man with that story, he wouldn't trust him with his whereabouts either. For all I knew, the old man had probably also been surprised anyone had asked about Leonardo, assuming him to be a normal young man.

A fool and a dead end; I had no patience for either these days. I considered killing him as a way to send Leonardo a message—even if they weren't close, Leonardo was likely to return and could put two and two together—but I had no assurance that the death would upset Leonardo enough to spur him into coming after me. And if he did…

Well. I had not forgotten what had happened the last time I'd struck close enough to drive Leonardo to retaliate, and I had not been the victor. It was not something I wanted to risk repeating. He would not defile my sanctuary again; I would be the one tracking my enemy down this time.

The journey back to my tower seemed to take forever, traffic and pedestrians slowing us to a crawl, and it was harder than it should have been to push my anger aside and use the time to plan. As soon as I arrived, I headed up to my father's war room to think in peace.

I had no way of knowing whether Hitoshi had a way of contacting Leonardo or not, or when Leonardo would visit him next, but it was safe to assume it wouldn't happen immediately. That meant that if I moved quickly, I would likely be on my way to killing him before he even knew he'd been found out.

But if he and his brothers were all human now, they would be in public view, with neighbors and possibly supervisors to notice if they went missing. It was no longer a matter of killing four freaks in the sewers that no one would miss; they were visible now, and their absence would be noted. Beyond that, their neighbors would hardly be able to miss the sounds of them fighting and dying right next door…and yet their apartments were the best place to ambush them, and the only way to be sure I was killing the right people, since Leonardo's brothers were still unknown in terms of their new appearances. It would be better to wait until nighttime, when the Foot would be less noticeable or the Foot Tech could more easily drag Leonardo and their brothers out of their apartments, but waiting until then ran the risk that they would already have fled the city.

I had to find them today, but try as I might, I could not think of a way that didn't run the risk of drawing more attention than I could handle. If—_when_ I killed Leonardo and his brothers, the Joneses would no doubt be quick to pin the blame on me and lead the police straight to my door, which would likely be the last push they would need to arrest me or at least take me in for questioning. I would need to be ready to leave—the city and the country—immediately afterwards, and there could be no evidence of the Foot or my connection to them, as the police would no doubt find some excuse to search my headquarters.

The thought brought me to my feet. I had been thinking in terms of holding my ground, but for what purpose? I had no company to stay for any longer, and nothing else to bind me to this city once the Turtles were dead. I could return to Japan, and my father's—and the Foot's—influence there would keep me safe and hidden.

I made for my personal chambers quickly, pulling things out to pile them on my futon; I would need to send for boxes to hold everything, even though there was little I could take on such short notice. It was pleasant to think of being back in Japan, though I wondered how things had progressed with the Japanese branch of the Foot in my absence. I had left someone loyal to me in charge, but there was no telling what state things would be in by the time I returned.

I had all but emptied my closet and dressers realize that I was wasting time; I had ninja who could pack for me. Beyond that, I needed to kill the Turtles before I worried about leaving the city, and to do that, I needed the addresses from Chaplain. I glanced at the wall to see I'd wasted almost half an hour lost in thought and doing little but making a mess of my room. I threw aside the kimono I was holding in disgust and headed down to the labs where Chaplain spent most of his time, where I found him typing busily at one of the consoles. I slammed the door to get his attention, mildly gratified to see him jump to his feet.

"Mistress! Any luck? It was the right address, wasn't it? I hope—"

"Chaplain, enough. Have you had any luck finding the addresses for Leonardo or his brothers?"

Chaplain wilted; there was no other word for it. From eager puppy to scolded child in a matter of seconds—sometimes it astounded me that he was considered a grown man. "Ah, no, mistress. The DMV's server has some pretty decent firewalls. I can get through, but they'll probably notice the breach and most likely be able to trace it to my IP address."

"Will that lead them here, or just to your computer?"

"It'll lead them here, unfortunately, though I can try and scramble the signal a bit so they can't get all the numbers."

"Do it, then," I ordered. "I want those addresses now."

"R-right! Just give me about twenty minutes…maybe half an hour. I need to get past their firewalls and such, but I'll get it as soon as I can."

He cracked his fingers and began typing rapidly, muttering under his breath. I waited a minute before I had to walk away, pacing to relieve my tension and give Chaplain some space; if I had to listen to that incessant tapping at close range for much longer, I was likely to be tempted to break his fingers, helpful or not.

I took a deep breath and let it out, tamping down on my temper and passing the time with thoughts of eviscerating Leonardo and his brothers and examining the various experiments Chaplain had lying about the lab. My control was haphazard at best lately, but I had to remember that Chaplain had always been useful, if aggravating in his adolescent crush. Maiming him would be counterproductive at this point, as he was more useful with all his limbs intact.

"Ah! No, no, no!"

Theoretically.

I strode over to the desk, looking over his shoulder. "What is it?"

"There's some sort of subroutine attached to the server, and it's targeting my computer!" He tapped the keys sharply, chewing on a fingernail nervously. "It's some kind of hack, I don't—" He froze, watching the screen. "Aw crap."

"What, Chaplain?"

"I—I think it tagged me."

I took a deep breath. "So they know you got into their system?"

He typed furiously for a second, then shook his head. "No, I don't think that was set there by the DMV. It was embedded like some kind of Trojan horse virus, and the fact that I couldn't detect it—or stop it—means it's a lot more sophisticated than the DMV's coders could probably produce." He glanced up at me nervously. "If—if I had to guess, I'd say it's possible that that really smart Turtle guy—what's his name, Don?—broke into the system first and encrypted a trap around their information, so that it would record any attempts to access the information and track where they came from."

It sounded well within Donatello's abilities, given what I knew of things he'd done in the past. "So he knows, or will soon, that someone got to the information, and will likely be able to determine who, as well."

Chaplain swallowed. "Yes, Mistress Karai. I'm sorry, if I was better at this, I might have detected it, or been able to stop it, but I—my specialty's more in tech and mechs than hacking."

"Obviously."

I sank my nails into the palms of my hands to keep from turning my sword on him. His ineptitude and lack of foresight had given everything away; if Leonardo and his brothers knew we were coming, they had the time to prepare or run. It had completely lost us _any_ kind of advantage—

Just as my visit to Hitoshi had. Apparently I had exactly the servants I deserved, leading by example as I did.

"Is there any chance that they don't have the information?" I asked, trying to control myself.

Chaplain worried at his keyboard another minute. "I'm about 95% sure they do," he said timidly. "I mean, of the people who could slip a program like that into a secure server undetected, that Donatello guy is the only one I can think of who would go to the effort of putting it in place around that information."

I exhaled sharply, turning away to think. I had to plan, and I had to do it quickly. The Turtles—it was impossible to think of them as anything else—would no doubt be able to prepare and leave the city within the day, having been warned by Chaplain's misstep. The same would no doubt apply to the Joneses, which would make it impossible to get to Leonardo and his brothers through them. The Joneses were nearly untouchable as it was, given the police surveillance my soldiers told me was still present if diminished after the embarrassment with Akito being caught.

And I would likely be unable to find Leonardo and his brothers if they went to ground; the last time they had disappeared from the city, no amount of searching had managed to reveal their location. Wherever it was that they went, whatever hole they crawled into in order to recover after our battles, it was out of the city and impossible to find. I had to get to them before they left—today. It would have to be today. Otherwise, there was no telling when they would return.

It gave me very little time to prepare, and I had a great deal to accomplish. There was so much that could go wrong, so much that depended on luck I'd never seemed to have. If I failed today—no. I would plan as my father planned, with the belief that victory was assured and imminent. Strike first and quickly, that was the key; if not for the incompetence of my soldiers, my strike on the Turtles' home those years ago would have succeeded. I would follow the same approach and ensure there were no back doors for them this time.

"I want both of those addresses written down immediately, Chaplain," I ordered. "Pull up the security footage from the lobby the other day, pausing on whatever images we could catch of Leonardo. Then assemble the Foot Tech ninja, and tell them to wait here for me. If all of their cloaking devices do not have a full charge, I suggest you come up with a way to make sure they do within the next twenty. I have a few other things to attend to, and then I will be back with their orders."

"Yes, mistress."

I strode off for the elevator, riding it to the top floor and my residential suite and war room. Jin was waiting motionlessly beside my desk as always.

"Mistress."

I dropped my things by my desk, pulling off my suit jacket as I stepped behind a screen to change. "Call up a squad of Foot soldiers, and join them in packing up. Anything that has any ties to my father, or the Foot, or anything related to our clan business, I want it packed and ready to be moved in the next two hours. The computers can be left, but I want them swept clean of any clan records or information. I want this tower to look like nothing more than a standard business and living space."

"Hai." There was a slight pause. "Are we leaving, mistress?"

"Soon. I am going on the hunt to kill the Turtles, and we need to be ready to leave this city and its authorities behind once I am done." I straightened my clothes—not my usual battle uniform, but something I could fight in and yet still escape notice in the streets—and strode to my desk. "I want only the most trusted members told of this plan for the time being; too many are weak of heart and might take the opportunity to flee. I want the entirety of the clan with me when we return to Japan—many of them have a great deal to answer for, both in terms of their lack of skill and any thoughts of treachery. Tell the rest I have ordered a clan-wide training session, and any found outside of the training hall will answer to me. That should keep them busy while I look for the Turtles and while you attend to preparations."

Jin bowed. "Yes, mistress."

We left together, Jin to carry out my orders while I returned to Chaplain's lab. The Foot Tech ninja had been assembled by the time I got there, and Chaplain was flitting around making last-minute adjustments, squawking as the soldiers came to attention and knocked him aside.

"Chaplain, bring up the surveillance photos."

"You got it!"

I waited for the pictures to be projected on the wall, then faced my ninja. "This is Leonardo as he appears now. From what we can tell, the Turtles have somehow managed to become human; I don't know how, and truly, I do not care at the moment. All I care about is that this change has brought them within our reach, and we will use the opportunity to end things. Chaplain, the addresses." I held out my hand, and two slips of paper met my palm, which I then handed to two of my ninja. "Those are the locations of Leonardo and his brothers. You will split into two groups, each group going to one of the addresses. You will find Leonardo and his brothers and detain them. _I_ will kill them; you can maim them and immobilize them as necessary, but the killing blows will be mine. Is that understood?"

A soft susurration of acknowledgement flowed through the crowd.

"Engage your cloaking devices, travel by rooftop, and stay out of sight. I cannot afford any more attention from the authorities, especially not now as we go into battle; you are _not_ to be noticed. Now go, and alert me when you believe you have found Leonardo and his brothers."

Chaplain handed me an earpiece as the Foot Tech darted off, and I fitted it in my ear. Once the room was clear, I gripped his chin, turning his face to mine. "Pack your things, Chaplain, and be ready to leave at any time. Once the Turtles are dead, we are going to Japan. Anything you must bring had best be ready in a matter of hours, and I want all of your documents off of the computers. Keep this order to yourself. If you are not ready, if your work is not complete by the time I return, I will leave you behind, and not in a condition in which you can share any of my secrets. Is that understood?"

"Y-yes, mistress. I'll get right on it."

"Good."

I made my way to the elevator, collecting two of my best swords before I met my driver at the car. The thought of waiting in the car irked me, but I knew that if I was already out in the city, I had a better chance of being nearby when my soldiers found the Turtles. We pulled out into traffic, and I took a breath to quell my anticipation.

The hunt was on.

* * *

**Michelangelo**

* * *

I was still riding the high of how awesome last night had been when I woke up on Saturday, and I was kinda surprised to see that I'd slept in until nearly noon—not that I hadn't gotten up later in the past, but it was weird that Leo hadn't gotten me up for training. The past few weeks, Saturdays had kinda become our group practice days, the one day a week we knew all our schedules were free. Don said he and Raph were practicing in the evenings when they got the chance, but it was still hard to get all four of our schedules to match up during the week. So the fact that I'd been sleeping when I should have been running through _kata_ or sparring was a little weird.

Maybe Leo was having an off day. I was pretty sure I remembered hearing the door open—we were all a little edgy about how easy it would be for anyone to get through our new doors, and so waking up at hearing the door open or close was getting to be normal—but couldn't remember if I'd heard it a second time, so maybe he wasn't back yet from wherever he'd gone; probably for a run, or maybe to visit Hitoshi-san again.

I stretched with a groan, sprawling over the bed before rolling out to go see about breakfast—or technically lunch, at this point—and where Leo had gotten to.

The second part was easy enough, because Leo was sitting on the couch. I detoured toward the living room to drape myself over the back of the couch. "Morning, Leo. Are we skipping—" The question died in my throat as I caught sight of his expression; it was the same way he'd looked when he found out how close Karai was to his new job. My stomach started working its way into a knot as I climbed over the back of the couch to sit by him, hoping I was wrong. "Leo? Bro, what is it?"

Leo was hunched in on himself, his elbows on his knees and his forehead propped against white-knuckled fists, and it took a couple seconds before he would look at me. "I…it's Karai. She found me."

"No way." She couldn't have; the chances were—okay, I had no idea, but they had to be really, really small. I hadn't really worried about it since Leo had told us, because I believed what I'd told him; there was no reason for the two of them to meet, and no way she could have recognized him if they had. My brain was going a mile a minute, fight or flight instincts yelling that hey, either one would be a good choice right now.

"I'm sorry, Mikey. I didn't mean for this to happen, I swear."

Leo's voice was wrecked, and it really only took those few words for me to realize that not only was Leo freaking out right alongside me, he was blaming himself for this too. "Duh, Leo, like you even need to say that." I took a deep breath and tried to shake the jitters off like water. Didn't really work. "Okay, got the freak-out out of my system. Mostly. Tell me what happened."

Leo blew out a breath and straightened up. "I went over to see Hitoshi-san and Naomi this morning, but Hitoshi-san was out visiting Seiichi-san. When he got back, he asked to see me and…drew a blade."

I thought my brain was going to explode. "He _what_?"

"Not to attack me," Leo assured me quickly. "It was…a test. To see how I'd react." His mouth quirked. "Obviously, my reaction kind of gave a few things away."

"But why'd he do it?"

The small smile fell off his face. "Because Karai had come looking for me at the dojo today. I don't know how she made the connection, but she must have heard me one time when I was dropping Yuki-san off. That's the only thing I can think of. Anyway, Hitoshi-san said she came to the dojo and asked if he knew me, saying that she got my name from Seiichi-san; we figure she must have had someone hack into Seiichi-san's files after seeing or hearing me. She told him that our fathers were "business associates" and asked where she could find me. Hitoshi-san played dumb, like I hadn't actually been going there for long and he didn't really know much about me, and she seemed to buy it. After she left, Hitoshi-san went to visit Seiichi-san to see if Karai had been asking about me, and then I'd gotten to the dojo by the time he got back."

"And that was when he did the "does this freak you out" test?"

Leo nodded. "He said that he kind of doubted I'd react like that if I really only practiced as a hobby, just like he doubted Karai had showed up to reconnect with an old friend."

"What'd you tell them?" I asked carefully. I figured it could go either way, that Leo might have told them what was going on, or had just tried to play it off as nothing. Regardless, it was just another reason to be pissed at Karai, for probably ruining one of the few places Leo liked to go.

"The truth," Leo said quietly. "Or at least, most of the truth related to Karai. I told them that Saki had killed Master Yoshi and trained us to keep ourselves safe. I told them that we'd had a few fights with Saki and then with Karai, and that Saki's people took him back to his 'homeland' to imprison him, which Karai blamed me—us—for." He scrubbed a hand over his face. "And I told them they could be in danger if I went back. Nothing about what we used to be or the fact that Saki was an Utrom; I wanted to stick with what I figured they could believe and what would convince them Karai is a threat."

I hesitated, wondering if asking about them was gonna be poking at a sore topic. "How did they take it? I mean, did they believe you?"

"I think they did. I mean, it's not something someone would usually make up, and they had some proof in the fact that Karai tracked them down."

"So…what happened? Did they freak?"

"Naomi yelled at me," he said, looking bemused. "I told them I should leave, and wouldn't be back until—until this was resolved, one way or another. And she yelled at me, with Hitoshi-san backing her up, told me that it wasn't my place to make decisions like that for other people. I convinced them that it was safer this way, though."

Now I _really_ wanted to meet Naomi, if she was the kind of person who wouldn't let Leo tell her what to do and wouldn't let him just walk off. "So they still want to see you."

A small smile tugged at Leo's mouth. "Yeah. They still do."

I couldn't help grinning, even though things were about to hit the fan. "Cool. Well hey, at least that's one good thing that happened today, that they didn't freak out about our past."

"Yeah." The smile faded until Leo looked tired again. "Here's hoping nothing happens that will make them change their minds."

"Well, it's not like you're planning to go back to visit before we…you know, fight or figure something out, right?"

He nodded. "I can't go back until things are resolved. I don't want—I can't watch what happened to April happen to someone else and be at fault for it both times."

I whapped him on the back of the head. "That wasn't your fault, Leo. They were waiting for any of us to pop up, and you just happened to be the one they found. And they obviously had already figured out where April lived, because they pushed the fight in that direction; it wasn't luck that you—ended up in her living room," I said, trying not to think about it, the sound of it as Leo had hit the window and then the floor, the way he hadn't even moved. "They did it on purpose. But Hitoshi-san threw Karai off, right? So it won't happen."

"I hope not. I gave them my number, just in case, and April's, in case we have to leave town or…something happens."

Leo always made me nervous with the ominous pauses. "They'll be fine, and we'll be fine." I slapped him lightly on the leg. "Now come on, we should call Don and Raph and let them know what's going on."

"Right." Leo got to his feet jerkily, and I was willing to bet he could probably power all of New York for at least a day on the angst and paranoia he was running on. "Mikey, I—I really am sorry."

Oh, and stupid, misplaced guilt; he could probably power the whole eastern seaboard with that. "Leo, will you stop apologizing? This isn't your fault."

"I'm the reason she found us."

"Reason doesn't mean fault, bro. It was just one of those—what do you call it, perfect storm scenarios. Besides, if you'll remember, I'm the one who told you not to quit your job. And Raph said the same thing. If you want to go spreading blame around, you'll have to give us some too, because we talked you out of quitting." I punched him lightly in the shoulder. "We knew the risks, but we still figured it was worth it, because you'd know what was going on with Karai and you liked doing it. And we ended up being right, right? If you'd quit working there once you found out it was Karai's business Seiichi-san was going after, and if you'd stopped going to see Hitoshi-san at the dojo too, we wouldn't have known any of this as early as we do now. But since you stayed there, we found out she'd found us the same day it happened, and we can definitely be ready to fight or get off the radar a lot faster than she can be ready to come after us."

"I'm still sorry," he said quietly.

I sighed. "And I'm still not mad. I mean, I'm pissed at the situation, yeah, at Karai and our luck, but it's not like you walked went up to her and went 'hey, I used to be a giant mutant turtle!' It'd be dumb to blame you, just like it's dumb to be sitting here blaming yourself when we could be battening the hatches or whatever. When did you get back, anyway?"

Leo glanced up at the clock, still looking numb. "About…five minutes ago? I left the dojo as soon as I could."

"Alright. So…Raph and Don?"

Leo took a deep breath and let it out, and I could see him pull it together and fall into Leader Mode. "Yeah. Give them a call, tell them to get a bag packed in case we need to leave and head over here, then get your own packed as well. Clothes, weapons, any supplies you think we'll need. I'll grab the first aid kits and some food to throw in mine. Can you be ready to leave in five minutes?"

I grabbed the phone and headed for my room. "I can be ready in three, bro."

I yanked my duffel bag out of the closet, dialing Raph's number with one hand as I started shoving clothes into my bag with the other. Normally I'd call Don with this kind of information, but now…oddly enough, Raph was the one who was less likely to freak out.

Enter the Twilight Zone.

I was cramming the last of my things into the bag—it was gonna be heavy and awkward, but I had no idea how long we'd be gone for (if we even ended up leaving in the first place), and I wanted to make sure I had everything—by the time Raph picked up the phone.

"_What's up?"_

Break it to him gently, or just throw it out there?

…There wasn't really anyway to do this gently.

"Karai found us."

I held my phone away from my ear while Raph got the first round of swearing out of his system. _"How?"_

"We don't know. Best we can figure, she heard Leo talking to Seiichi or Yuki at her headquarters and recognized his voice. Anyway, she must've hacked Seiichi's records to get an address, because she showed up at Hitoshi-san's dojo asking about Leo."

"_Is Leo alright? Are they?"_

"He's fine and they're fine. She apparently believed Hitoshi-san when he said he only knew Leo a little and had no idea where to find him." I wedged the phone between my ear and shoulder as I wrestled the zipper shut. "But if she's gotten that close…"

"_Then she knows our new last name an' she'll be goin' on the hunt. Dammit. Alright, are you guys comin' over here, or should we—"_ I heard a murmur of Don's voice in the background. _"Just a sec."_

I waited as Raph apparently gave Don the rundown, and heard a couple words I didn't usually hear from Don. _"Okay, you guys should head over here,"_ Raph said_. "Don says he's got to be here at his nerd base to monitor whether Chaplain's gotten to any of our info yet."_

"That works. While you're waiting for us, Leo says to get some bags packed—clothes, first aid stuff, weapons, food, things like that—in case we decide to bug out."

"_Can do. You called April an' Casey yet?"_

Whoops. "Not yet."

"_I'll call 'em. You just get over here, an' keep your heads down, you got it?"_

"Got it. See you in a few."

I hung up and shoved my cell into the last side pocket of my bag, then looked around the room to see if I'd missed anything. I had pretty much everything, so I hunted down Klunk and tucked him into the bag as well, leaving the top unzipped so he could check things out.

And then it hit me; I could be leaving this. Maybe just temporarily, maybe for a while. Waking up to the sun through my window—actually _having_ a window—going to work, seeing Leah, lazy weekends wandering around the city or hanging out practicing with my bros, dragging Leo out to do weird stuff, being _free_ for what felt like the first time in my life…what if I'd already done all of that for the last time?

…Like hell. I wasn't giving this up, no way. For a little while if I had to, fine, but I was done getting kicked out of one home after another. We'd lost too much to Karai and the Foot, and this was just _it_; they weren't taking anything else. I loved things here, liked acting like a normal person, liked seeing Leo lose some of the stress lines in his face, seeing Raph relax occasionally and seeing Don all flustered about going on dates. There was so much, too much to lose now, especially to Karai of all people.

It was a lot to risk, but when we got around to deciding what to do, my vote was for taking the fight to Karai.

I was done running.

* * *

**April**

* * *

The phone call had been the last thing I'd expected on a quiet Saturday afternoon. The shop had been slow—almost painfully so, with only half a dozen people wandering in and out over the course of the morning, and only a single decent sale. Not the sort of day you'd expect to have a crisis.

Which, after all my years of knowing the guys, probably should have been my first clue.

The phone rang, and I answered it with forced enthusiasm. "Second Time Around, how may I help you?"

"_April? It's Raph."_

I perked up. "Raph! What's up? Were you calling for Casey?"

"_I was callin' for both of ya, actually. Got some bad news; Karai found us."_

I could almost feel the floor drop out from under me and I reached a hand out to brace myself against the wall. "Oh, no. How?"

"Best we can figure, she heard Leo at one'a the meetings an' recognized his voice, then tracked him to Hitoshi's—the guy who hooked him up with the job in the first place. Now that she's got our last name, Don figures it's just a matter'a time before she has Chaplain try to get our info outta one of the databases, so we're gettin' together to figure out if we're gonna lay low, go kick her ass, or wait for her to bring the fight to us." Raph's anger was obvious in the noticeable rumble in his voice. "Can you an' Casey be over here in five?"

"You bet," I promised, moving around the counter to flip the store's sign to closed and lock the door, tugging the blinds closed as I did. "Anything you need us to bring?"

"Just yourselves an' some weapons, just in case. It's probably too early for Karai to be ready to move out just yet, but it can't hurt. Oh, an' your laptop, too, in case Brainiac needs some help."

"You got it. We'll see you soon."

"Sounds good. Be careful."

"We will; you too."

I hung up and paused, taking just enough time to wing a quick prayer that whatever happened would finally go in the guys' favor, and then charged up the stairs to find Casey.

We were out the door and in a cab a few minutes later, me with a scarf to hide my hair and Casey with a hat and a jacket to put over his usual wife beater, just in case; we weren't exactly unknown to the Foot, and I was well aware that even in New York, my coloring was hard to miss, even from a distance. As soon as the cab pulled up behind the building, we slipped inside and made our way to Raph and Don's apartment.

I glanced over at Casey as we climbed the stairs, taking in the tension around his jaw and shoulders. "Are you alright?" I asked, knowing it was probably a dumb question.

He made a face. "I'm pissed, babe. The guys should've been able to avoid all this. An' they've been doin' good with their new lives—"

"Doing well," I corrected automatically.

"—whatever. Raph's been mellower than I've ever seen 'im, even if he's still worrying about Leo a bit. And when Mikey's called a couple times, he sounds like it's Christmas every day. They deserve to keep that."

I reached out to grab his hand, squeezing it. "And we're going to do what we can to make sure they do get to keep it. I'll be damned if I see Karai screw things up for them again."

"Yeah," Casey agreed with a hard grin, leaning down to give me a quick kiss before knocking on Don and Raph's door.

Casey's knuckles barely cleared the door before it opened, Raph's expression easing slightly as he saw us standing there in one piece. "Hey guys. Thanks for comin' over. Wish it was under better circumstances."

Casey snorted and shouldered Raph gently as we slipped inside. "Man, if we weren't comin' over here 'cause you'd pissed someone off, we'd never see you," he teased casually.

Raph scowled, swatting at Casey's head, but his mouth tugged up at one corner. "Shut up, goofus."

Mikey wandered in from the kitchen with a wave, dropping onto the couch. "Hey, guys. You didn't have any problems coming over, did you?"

I smiled reassuringly. "It was fine, and we did what we could to be incognito, just in case. Where are Don and Leo?"

Raph tilted his head to the side, gesturing down the hall. "Don's checkin' his equipment and spy gear, seein' what he can pick up on; we need to know what we're dealin' with before we start tryin' to make plans. And Leo…" He made a face and glanced toward the window.

I followed his gaze to see Leo sitting on the fire escape, motionless except for the breeze that occasionally stirred his hair. "Is he alright?"

"Not really," Mikey answered honestly. "He's blaming himself for this." He shifted on the couch, looking like he wanted to join Leo but didn't know if he should. He glanced over at Raph, and the two of them seemed to be conferring over who should go after Leo.

It caught me off-guard. I was used to Don always being the one to smooth things over, since Raph usually felt too awkward or angry to calm his older brother and Mikey was usually looking for reassurance himself. They'd grown so much, and I'd missed it. It couldn't be helped, because they were so busy and still adjusting, but still, I wished I'd been there to watch them grow. I wondered what Master Splinter would think when he saw them again.

They seemed to settle on Raph going this time, and he made a face before heading for the fire escape. A sudden thought hit me as I glanced at Leo's bowed shoulders and I moved to cut Raph off, laying a hand on his arm.

He glanced at me quizzically. "April?"

"Let me go talk to him," I said softly.

A small frown appeared between his brows, and he glanced back at Leo. "But…"

The obvious instinct to protect and comfort made smile, because Raph had hid it for so long, and rarely directed it at Leo like he did at Don and Mikey. But still… "He's worried about his friends at the dojo, right? I think it would help him to hear from someone in their position that knowing him, knowing all of you, isn't just about being in danger."

He wavered for another second, but I don't think I imagined the way Raph's shoulders dropped slightly even as he sighed and made a careless 'go ahead' gesture. "Yeah, alright."

I patted him on the shoulder and headed for the fire escape.

In all honesty, I did think Leo needed to be reminded that Casey and I had stuck around despite the danger and were still fine, and that the same could go for his new friends too. But beneath that, I figured Leo needed someone to talk to that he didn't have to be strong for. It was obvious that it had rattled him that Karai had found them because of him. I didn't doubt that Raph could have made Leo feel better, but Leo probably wouldn't have admitted half of what he was feeling, too worried and busy blaming himself.

I climbed out the window and pulled it shut behind me. Leo was sitting on the edge of the fire escape, legs dangling between two bars while he rested his head against the metal railing. You'd never have thought he'd ever been afraid of heights, as unaware as he seemed of the two-story drop below him, but I figured it was more that he had bigger things to worry about.

Even in profile, I could tell his face was drawn, and my stomach tightened as I flashed back on the way he'd looked after the debacle on the Shredder's ship. It'd taken him a lot to get out of the state of guilt and aggressive paranoia he'd fallen into after that, and if anything could push him back into it, it'd be thinking that he was the reason their new lives as humans were at risk.

But then he caught sight of me and smiled slightly, the expression small but genuine. Leo might be harboring some guilt over the situation—probably was, knowing him—but he wasn't going to let himself go down that road again.

"Hey, Leo."

"Hey. Sorry for interrupting your weekend," Leo said, looking tired.

I snorted and waved the apology aside. "You weren't interrupting anything; this was one of the slowest days I've had in ages." I sat down beside him, giving him some space while still staying close enough to lay a hand on his shoulder. "I know it's a stupid question, but I'll ask it anyway; are you alright?"

For a minute, I thought he wasn't going to answer. "I'm as well as can be expected, I guess," he said finally, the words little more than a sigh. "I'm just…I'm so tired of this happening, and being the reason it happened doesn't help. Plus there's no way to really know what to prepare for. Given that Karai knows we're human now, she could choose to attack us in broad daylight or set up ambushes at our apartments, and we have no way of know which one she'll go for. Should we run the risk of letting her come to us? Should we take the fight to her? Should we get out of the city for a few days and let her frustrate herself looking for us?" He shook his head. "There are too many options, and none of them ideal. At least, none that the others will accept."

"What do you mean?"

He shifted minutely, then glanced at me. "Mikey and I were talking the other day, and I…I was wondering if maybe there's a reason we, _I_, can't get away from Karai. Maybe it was always meant to come down to her and me at the end. It was easy to get into the tower on my own last time—extremely easy, actually, Karai's security is awful—but Mikey…he didn't react well to the idea."

"I'd hardly call you sacrificing yourself an ideal option, Leo," I said, forcing my voice to stay even, even though all I wanted to do was shake him.

He turned to look at me, his expression quizzical. "April, I never said I was going to sacrifice myself."

His obvious confusion made me blink. "But…you said you were going to go after Karai."

"I said I could," Leo countered. "But I told Mikey I wouldn't do that, and I won't. But going after Karai is hardly—" He cut off, looking at me then back in the apartment, before sighing heavily. "You think I mean some sort of kamikaze run. April…this isn't something I've told my brothers, at least not all of it, but after Karai attacked the Lair, once I'd found them all and then went to warn her off…I had her beat. I could have ended things then."

I had never heard this before. There was an obvious question to be asked, but it took me a minute to voice it, wondering if Leo could or would answer it. "Why didn't you?"

He sighed, turning to look east toward Karai's tower. "I wanted to see if she could realize that that could have been the end of things. Saki was imprisoned and stripped of power, and we had justice for Master Yoshi; on our end, the balances were clear. And I didn't want…I didn't want to go after Karai like an assassin. That wasn't something I wanted then, especially when I'd only just overcome the part of me that was willing to do things I shouldn't to protect my family."

"Then why did you offer it now? Have you…"

"Changed my mind?" he finished my question, then shook his head. "No. But I'm done giving Karai chances, and the fact remains that it is still a logical option. It's a fight I could win, April, not me trying to sacrifice myself; I know Karai's fighting style almost as well as I know my brothers'. I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't think I could come out the winner on the other side; I know that's not the kind of sacrifice my brothers could live with or forgive me for, and I won't do that to them."

I laid a hand on his arm. "I believe you, Leo. And I think the guys would appreciate hearing that, too; they know how strongly you love them, and you can't pretend there isn't any precedence for them thinking you'd do whatever it takes to keep them safe."

"I suppose not. I just…it's a way to end it, and that's appealing to me now. I don't want to do this anymore, April."

"Do what?"

"Fight this battle. Give up something else," he said softly. "I thought I could, when this started. I thought I'd just do this to make Don and Mikey and Raph happy, just kind of—hold a place until it was time to finish things."

There was no helping a sense of déjà vu to our talk in the barn months ago. "Are you not expecting to make it out of this?"

"It's not that, it's just—" He shook his head, looking out over the city. "It's been getting a lot closer in each fight, April. Far too close. First with what happened on Saki's ship, then Karai's attack on the old Lair…I'm not saying that I think we can't win this, just that…" He shrugged minutely. "If there was anyone that wasn't going to survive this, it was always going to be me. It was never going to be one of my brothers; I was never going to _let_ that be the way things ended. That hasn't changed since this started years ago."

"Leo…"

He gave me a small smile that was probably supposed to be reassuring. "I'm not saying it's my first choice, it's just…that's how things are going to go if it comes down to it, that's all. There's no other option that's acceptable. I knew that when we first took this step, and I know it now, it's just…" His expression was vaguely wistful. "April, Raph and I are friends again, for the first time in years. Don is being recognized as everything he is on his own, and Mikey…he's grown so much in just a few months."

"And you don't have anything you'd regret losing, other than them and us?"

"…No, I do have things I'd miss," he admitted softly, propping his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands in front of him. His mouth quirked slightly. "But for all I know, I've already burned that bridge, so worrying about it might be a moot point anyway."

I was willing to bet good money that he was talking about the friends he'd made at the dojo, the ones who had been pulled into this. I just wondered why Leo was so convinced that finding out the truth—or at least some of it—would send them running. I couldn't believe that we were the only people in New York, let alone the world, that could accept the guys for who and what they were and used to be. "Maybe you're just being a pessimist," I chided gently.

Leo huffed a laugh. "Maybe. Probably. Either way, it's just…harder now. I'm—I'm attached to this."

I nudged him with an elbow. "Is that so bad? That you're actually enjoying things?"

He shrugged, his expression tired. "Would it make sense if I say yes? I want this now, just in time for it to turn into something else I stand to lose…and we always lose something in these battles. And I've had it…_explained_ to me that it's not reasonable or realistic to stay unattached for fear of losing people, but…can you blame me? It's been so hard just to keep my family safe and protected, and even that I haven't managed very well at times. Adding someone—something else is just…"

Sometimes I wished Leo didn't have such a protective nature, that he didn't feel so responsible for everyone he knew. "Do you really think it's fair to treat the people in your life like a duty? Is that how you see us?"

His head whipped towards me, his expression aghast. "April, no! You're family; I have a duty _to_ you, but you're not just something I'm obligated to take care of."

I smiled, pressing a hand to his cheek. "I know, Leo. But can you see why it might be easy for someone to interpret it that way when you say things like that?"

Leo sighed, chagrined. "Yeah, I guess. I'm just…trying to do the best I can, April."

"And that's why it'll be fine, Leo. Your best and your brothers' best are leagues above what most people can manage," I told him seriously. "Just try to see this new life, and the new people in it, as more things to fight for, not new candidates for collateral damage. I can understand that you want to limit the things in your life to what you're sure you can protect, but you're doing yourself and everyone who wants to be a part of your life a disservice when you do that."

I leaned over to wrap him in a hug, my mouth by his ear. "And if you need to hear it again, then take it from someone who's tangled with your past and is still around to talk about it: you are worth it. _All_ of you are worth it. The danger, the fights, losing my home and shop, it's more than made up for by having you guys in my life." I blinked back tears as Leo returned the hug tightly. "_More than_. You guys gave me a family, and some of the most amazing experiences of my life, and I'd do it all over again—everything from the Mousers to the visit from Shredder and the Foot. Casey would say exactly the same thing." I pulled back to smile at him. "The only things I'd do differently would be to install a better sprinkler system in my shop and see about having Donnie rig up some sort of slide in the back so we could have just ducked out the kitchen."

Leo smiled wryly. "Those are the only things?"

I shrugged. "And maybe some metal screens to drop over the windows, but that's splitting hairs. My point is, I've gained a lot more than I've lost by knowing you. If Hitoshi-san and his daughter are anything like the kind of people you deserve in your life, they'll feel the same way, and you owe them the chance to make that choice as well. For your sake _and_ theirs, don't write them off before they even get a chance to prove you wrong."

"It's not…it's not that I _want_ them out of my life, I just don't want them to suffer for it like you have."

"And that means a lot, Leo. But it's still their choice too."

He stared down at his clasped hands for a while before he finally nodded. "I know. I even told them about you, about how you lost your home and shop the last time the Shredder came looking for us, but when I told them it'd be safer if I just left and cut off contact until this is over, they fought me on it. Naomi _yelled_ at me, actually; told me it's not up to me to decide for someone else what is and isn't worth risking. And she asked about you, if you'd ignored me when I tried to get you to leave, and I told her you did." Leo's expression was bewildered and self-deprecating. "And she said that was good, because it meant I had some experience with being ignored when I'm an idiot."

I couldn't help laughing at that. I was glad Naomi had called him on it, because you had to be stubborn to get through to Leo, and I was glad to know he'd found someone who could match him in that. Even better, from the sounds of things, they believed he was worth the risk of getting caught up in the business with Karai. "She sounds like a smart woman."

"She is," Leo said quietly.

Well, _that_ was an interesting expression on Leo's face. If I didn't know better…

"Oh." Leo straightened up, glancing at me. "I hope you don't mind, but I gave her and Hitoshi-san your number, in case Karai shows up and they either can't reach me on mine or…you know, something happens."

I waved a hand unconcernedly. "That's fine, Leo. It was a good thing to do." In all honesty, I kind of hoped she called me even if Karai didn't come after them; I was curious to meet them, and I wanted to tell them that they were right to hang around, that Leo was worth the effort and danger.

He relaxed slightly. "Thanks." He let out a slow breath, then got to his feet, holding a hand down to help me as well. When I took it, he pulled me up and into another hug. "Thank you, April. For being here for us, for standing by us. For…for listening. I feel like…like I've still got the farthest to go to be normal, and falling back into this, it's—very easy. I think it worries Mikey how easy it is for me, actually, or at least frustrates him."

I glanced through the window behind Leo to see Mikey watching us with little attempt to be sneaky about it, and smiled at him reassuringly over Leo's shoulder. "You might be right, but at the same time, I think he understands why you need to get back into that mindset, at least for the time being." I pulled back to look at Leo. "Doesn't mean he doesn't worry."

Leo sighed slightly. "I think he's been doing that a lot lately; living with me probably feels like a full-time job. I need to thank him for being there for me…and reassure him about all this. I should talk to Raph and Donnie, too…"

It was hard to hide my smile. Here Leo was, looking out for his brothers and completely missing the fact that they were trying to do the same for him. "Why don't you let me talk to Don? I have a feeling he wouldn't turn away another set of coding fingers."

"He'd probably be happier to see you," Leo agreed, looking tired again.

Oh. It made sense, now, that Leo was out here rather than inside getting the news from Don; if this new life was at risk, I wasn't surprised Donnie was probably a little on edge. "He's frustrated and worried, Leo, that's all," I soothed. "He knows it's not your fault. People can be mad at a situation you're involved in without being mad at you, you know."

Leo smiled self-deprecatingly. "I know," he said. "I'm just not used to his temper, I guess. We see it so rarely that I forget how impressive it can be."

"And in its own way, that's progress for Don, too," I pointed out gently. "He's making his own feelings and wants known rather than going along with the rest of you for the sake of not rocking the boat."

Leo's smile turned a little more genuine. "A definite side effect of living with Raph," he drawled.

I couldn't help laughing. "It's good for you. All of you, Donnie in particular, need more reminders that he's a force to be reckoned with."

"You're probably right." Leo's gaze turned toward the apartment, as if he could see through the walls to where Don had holed up with his computer. "I hope someday he'll find a job where more people can see that, where he can show the whole world what he can do. He could do so much if he just had the chance."

It wasn't something I was ready to share yet, but I actually had some ideas about that particular issue. In the meantime, though, I'd keep those to myself. "He will. Something will find him one day, and the next thing you know he'll be running an empire."

Leo laughed as he opened the window and waved me through first. "Don has no interest in empires. He'd rather hire someone else to run it for him so he could spend more time in the lab."

Raph and Casey had parked themselves on a couple chairs, talking lowly about something while Mikey fidgeted on the couch. I took the seat on Casey's other side while Leo dropped down beside Mikey, who looked him over surreptitiously and flashed me a grateful look over his brother's head.

"I'm gonna go grab Brainiac," Raph announced as he gained his feet. "It's time we got this shit underway."

He stopped to squeeze my shoulder in thanks, then strode down the hall to thump on the wall outside Don's door. Raph reclaimed his chair while Don ignored the open seats and leaned against the corner of the hallway, giving Casey and me a brief smile in welcome. "I've got some programs set up with alarms if our information is accessed, so I want to make sure I can hear that if it goes off," he said in explanation.

There was a hint of frustrated tension in his voice and the way he held himself, and I couldn't help but understand; we all knew the way Don had thrown himself into this new chance, and if anyone could challenge Leo in anger and regret at Karai finding them, it was definitely Don. "If you need any help with coding or throwing up some firewalls, let me know," I offered.

Some of the tension eased into a genuine smile. "You bet."

"So what's the story?" Casey asked impatiently, one leg bouncing restlessly.

Leo sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly. "Okay. I went over to Hitoshi-san's this morning—a bit more than half an hour ago—to visit, and found out he'd had a visit from Karai…"

The story wasn't as surprising as it should have been, given the guys' usual luck. Admittedly, only half of my attention was on the story, though; the rest of my brain was busy with studying the dynamic between the guys, because even in the week or two since I'd last seen all four of them together, it had changed again. They were all still hyper-aware of each other, but the ways they acted on it had changed.

When Leo's voice grew rough, Mikey would casually nudge his brother's knee with his own, when once Leo would have been the one giving reassurance. When Don would shift in his position by the wall, a frown tugging hard at his face, Raph would trade grimaces with him until his shoulders relaxed, and would interject with a curse or two against Karai until Leo's hands stopped clenching during his story. Don would tamp down on his frustration whenever Leo looked up, while Leo would let his seep into his voice, showing his brothers his anger at the situation rather than the blame he held for himself. They were learning how to care for the people they were each becoming, and it was fascinating to watch.

"…so I headed back to our place, and here we are," Leo finished matter-of-factly, rubbing his eyes and tilting briefly into the shoulder Mikey bumped him with. "It's been—" He pulled his face out of his hands to look at the clock, a frown carving lines around his mouth. "—maybe one hour all told since Karai left the dojo, by my best guess."

"Which means she's had time to mobilize," I said, tapping a finger against my knee in thought.

"Mobilize, maybe, but she doesn't have anywhere to send the Foot just yet," Don interjected. "There are two options for them to get our addresses: the Social Security database and the DMV. Even I haven't tried hacking into Social Security, which means Chaplain doesn't have a hope of it; he's more like Stockman in his focus on mechs rather than programming. The DMV, though…I could see him getting into there eventually, though even that would take him some time."

"How much time are we talking?" Leo asked.

Don tilted his head to the side in a shrug. "Depends. When we first got set up, I hacked into the DMV myself to encode a sort of digital booby-trap around our information, so that if any outside sources tried to access it, it'd trip an alarm and tag the IP address of whoever tried it. That took me about an hour, all told. But just getting past their firewalls took fifteen, twenty minutes, tops. I guess I could see Chaplain managing it in about half an hour at best."

"And you can't…I don't know, add more firewalls or security or whatever to the database?" Mikey asked. "So it'd be harder to access?"

"I wish, but the DMV would notice something like that," Don said. "The only reason I was able to put the alarm program in place is that it's dormant; it's undetectable until it's activated, and since the employees would have authorized access to our information, they'd never activate it—only a external system intruder would. But they'd notice big changes in the basic database security, and that's too risky."

Raph rolled his shoulders and leaned forward. "Now here's the real question: if or when they do get the info, what are we gonna do? Are we gonna sit here an' wait for Karai to come after us, go after her, or head out to the farm to wait her out?"

"We're not giving this up," Mikey said firmly. "Especially not for Karai. I say we take the fight to her."

I was surprised to hear that from Mikey, and judging by the looks his brothers gave him, they were too. We all knew Raph would most likely prefer that option, but to hear Mikey say it…he'd never hesitated to fight with or for his brothers, but I'd never heard him advocating an attack first.

Don frowned. "I don't want to lose any of this to Karai any more than you do, Mikey, but that's just not feasible. She has surveillance all over and around that tower."

"Not in her personal quarters, the areas where she conducts clan business," Leo interjected suddenly. "After she attacked the old Lair and I went to warn her off, I didn't notice any cameras. I got in and out of there without being seen or stopped."

Mikey whirled on him, something apprehensive flashing across his face before anger took hold. "_No_. No way. You are not going after her alone. That was stupid enough the first time. You said you wouldn't."

Leo's expression didn't given anything away other than mild exasperation. "It wasn't that much of a risk, Mikey. I got in and out perfectly fine."

"Then that means you already had the chance to do it your way; you don't get another one," Mikey shot back, his expression fierce.

"It's a logical option—"

"It's not," Raph said flatly, his eyes fixed on Leo. "End of story."

"Raph—"

"Is this about what we talked about in the sewers?" Raph demanded, leaning into Leo's space. "Is this about knowin' where you stand, about what's _comfortable_, or about what really is the best option?"

Leo flinched slightly. "It's not like that, Raph."

Don and Mikey were glancing between them, looking lost, so apparently I wasn't the only one who didn't have a clue what Raph and Leo were arguing about. It was something more than just Leo wanting to go after Karai to try to end things by himself…I just didn't know what, exactly.

"Yeah?" Raph asked, his tone challenging and his gaze fierce as he searched Leo's face.

Leo was the first to look away. "You've made your point," he said quietly.

"I'm still makin' it," Raph countered. His voice was softer, less confrontational, but still implacable. "You tell me honestly that you'd let any one of us do this, go after Karai one-on-one, an' we'll keep it on the table as an option an' draw straws on it later. Otherwise, it ain't up for discussion."

I was tempted to hold my breath, rather than break the silence after Raph's challenge. Leo nodded finally.

"Alright," he said, his voice surprisingly level. "If you don't like that option, give me another one."

It wasn't agreement so much as capitulation, but it still eased the tension in Raph's face and made Mikey close his eyes briefly in relief. Don's shoulders dropped a full inch, and Casey squeezed my hand tightly as we both relaxed. There were few things harder than talking Leo out of something if he thought it was best for his family.

"Second option, we could leave for a little while, long enough to see what Karai's move would be and regroup," I offered, eager to clear the tension out of the room.

Don shook his head. "The longest we could leave would be for the weekend; we all have jobs now, places we'd be missed. Plus, we'd be flying blind out there—there's no Internet access that far out in the country, and I wouldn't be able to keep tabs on their chatter or monitor our apartments."

"We could still take the fight to her," Mikey pointed out, a less-than-subtle emphasis on the 'we.' "If we're on site, there's got to be some sort of—of jamming signal or something you can use, right, Donnie? And it's not like we don't know our way around the building."

"But then what?" Don asked. "Attack Karai and then leave? There's no way we'd be able to get her alone, not now when all the Foot are probably being called to battle stations."

"If she's even still there in the first place." Raph leaned back in his chair and frowned up at the ceiling. "If you were Karai, would you really stay there an' just send out the flunkies? She'd want to be in the middle of it an' take care of us herself."

Leo hummed in agreement, tapping an absent rhythm on the coffee table. "What has your surveillance equipment told you, Don?"

He made a face. "Not as much as I'd like. Two of the bugs you guys planted in the sewer are out of commission; from the recordings, one got damaged and the other…Whoever was tagged with it apparently tried to make a run for it; he didn't get very far," he said shortly, the fate of the would-be deserter clear. "Of the two that are left, I'm hearing different things. One of them seems to be in a clan-wide training session, and the other seems to be part of a small group working on packing up the tower."

Casey huffed beside me. "Anyone wanna take bets on what they're trainin' for?"

I shook my head. "No bets. And if Karai's packing up…"

"Then she intends to put an end to this," Leo said simply. "She's going to come after us with everything, and then leave—probably for Japan—as soon as it's over. If she succeeded in…ending things, she has to know that you guys," he nodded at me and Casey, "or Hitoshi-san and Naomi would lead the police straight to her, so she's making sure she can disappear. Now that she's lost her company, there's nothing left here for her but us."

"Which means goin' after her really ain't gonna be an option," Casey said, looking disappointed. "Like Raph said, it's gonna be a big waste of time to go stormin' the tower again if she ain't even gonna be there."

Mikey frowned, looking unusually fierce. "And sitting here waiting for her isn't an option either, so what are we supposed to do?"

"If we can't act, we'll have to react—or set up an ambush," I pointed out. "We know Karai will be coming, we just need to know how."

It was almost funny, the way Raph, Donnie, and Mikey all glanced at Leo. For better or worse, like it or not, he knew how Karai thought and was the best chance of getting inside her head.

He had to know it, too, because his expression was wry as he met his brothers' eyes. The mirth faded soon, though, as he dropped his gaze to the tabletop in thought. "Raph's right, she'll want to be the one to end us personally. She can't hope to find and trap all of us on her own, though, so she'll probably send her forces out to do it for her. The Foot Tech, most likely, since it's the middle of the day."

"Foot Tech?" Don looked startled. "You think she'll come after us right away?"

Leo glanced up at him. "Wouldn't you?" he asked. "Talking to Hitoshi-san lost her the advantage of surprise, and he told her that he'd let me know she was looking for me. Even if it was meant to sound like a standard offer, Karai would take it as a threat. She'd believe that as soon as I got that information, we'd disappear and go to ground; and since she's yet to find Casey's grandmother's farm, she knows that once we're out of the city, she's lost us until we come back. She'll want to move quickly, on the off chance that she can get her forces out before Hitoshi-san could have contacted me."

Don sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Great. Alright, I'll dig out the heat vision goggles. Should I grab a few things to booby-trap the apartments?"

"Do you plan to stay here?" I asked. "Waiting for Karai or the Foot to come after you is chancy."

"Everything is at this point, April," Raph pointed out, his hands flexing in and out of fists. "We go after Karai, we risk gettin' caught or missin' her completely. We wait here, we risk gettin' cornered. We leave, all we do is drag out the stalemate, maybe give the Foot time to stake out our places, have an ambush or somethin' else nasty waitin' for us when we get back."

"Don," Leo said slowly, "you said of the two ninja you had bugged, one was in the training group and the other was packing up, right?"

"Right."

He fixed his brother with an intense look. "Did the training group sound like they were preparing for battle?"

Don frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean did they sound excited, or anxious, or—I don't know, like they were looking forward to it? Did it sound like a group of warriors getting ready to head into a fight?"

Don blinked, pushing off from the wall. "No…no, they didn't. They sounded like they were just going through an average training session—complaining about things, gossiping, like they were just shooting the breeze."

"Oh!" Mikey straightened up on the couch, apparently picking up on what Leo was getting at. "The guys who tried to run! Ryu told us that Karai's having more problems with people trying to leave the Foot, right? Maybe Karai only told the ones she trusts the most to work on packing things up, because if she told the other ones that there's about to be a big fight and she's going to be out in it, they might try and take the opportunity to make a break for it."

Leo nodded, smiling grimly. "And if they don't know, that means it will probably only be the Foot Tech and Karai coming after us, which makes the odds a lot better than what we're usually dealing with."

"Which is awesome, but still doesn't help us with figurin' out what to do," Raph pointed out.

"Wait," Mikey said suddenly, one hand on his head. "Wait wait wait. Everyone just shut up for like…a minute."

We fell silently like he asked, watching Mikey as he stared at the wall, then grinned.

Don made a face. "I don't like that expression," he announced. "That's the same expression you had when you tried to convince us that skating in one of the old spill-off tunnels when it had frozen over in the winter was going to be fun."

"It _was_ fun," Mikey protested.

"You got stuck in a drainage pipe, and we were all nearly hypothermic by the time we pulled you out," Don said flatly.

"Okay, so it was only fun for a little while, but even Raph was smiling."

The brother in question raised an eyebrow. "I was smilin' 'cause I saw you headin' straight for that drainage pipe while you were flyin' around like you thought you were part of the Ice Capades."

"Enough," Leo interrupted. "Mikey, what's the brain wave?"

Mikey sobered quickly. "Karai's having trouble keeping the Foot together, right? So we take advantage of that. We go see Ryu, let him know what's going on, ask him to get a hold of his friends in the Foot and tell them to get while the getting's good. And we ask him to have four of them come over to his place, and take their uniforms, and we have an instant way in to Foot HQ."

"An' how is that helpful?" Casey asked.

"Dude, how is it not?" Mikey countered energetically. "Not only would we be totally incognito, we'd be a lot safer. Karai's sending people out after us, right? So instead of being here, where we're basically waiting for the Foot Tech to show up any time, we're at Karai's mission control, which is both the last place she'd expect us to be and exactly where she _won't_ be."

Leo frowned thoughtfully as he shifted on the couch. "We'd have the most current information, and we could do a lot of damage from there," he said slowly.

"We could send out a hack against a major server from Karai's computers," Don mused, his expression lightening as he warmed to the idea.

"Or we could hack her system and accidentally leave some printouts regarding illegal shipments lying around at the front desk," I added, grinning at Donnie.

Raph nodded. "Or burn the place down," he offered bluntly.

Leo glared at him. "_Or_ just trigger a fire alarm on one of the levels dedicated to Foot business, so no one gets caught in the crossfire." He glanced at his brother, smiling bemusedly. "It's a good idea, Mikey. Insane, of course, but kind of the best one we have right now."

"Is there a way for you guys to get in safely?" Casey asked as he tapped aimlessly on the coffee table. "Or would you need a diversion?"

"We could always go in through the roof, with help from everyone's favorite pigeon puppet," Mikey suggested with a grin.

Don rolled his eyes. "Possibly, but if they're packing up, they're probably getting rid of all traces of the Foot, which means going in near the top floor where all the Foot business goes down has a higher likelihood of us getting caught." He darted a glance toward Leo. "What about the way you went in when you went on your own?"

"Hm." Leo leaned back, eyes on the ceiling as he thought about it. "It could work, provided it's open. The issue is that we're going to need two entrances, because going in with all four of us together will trigger _someone's_ suspicions; most of the Foot probably knows we're human now, and four is always the trigger number. And both entrances need to be on levels that aren't being packed up, because if we barge in on those packing—who we can guess are the ones Karai trusts the most—they're going to automatically assume Karai doesn't trust us, or else we would already be working with them. It'd be totally reasonable to expect them to attack us, and we don't need that kind of attention."

"It's crazy, but I like it," Raph decreed. "The issue, though, is what is the endgame? Or rather, how do we plan on makin' this the endgame? 'Cause we can't keep dickin' around with this. If all we manage to do is get part or most of the Foot to make a run for it, that doesn't end things; she's still got the Foot Tech and the Elites, an' even if it was just her, she'd still keep comin'."

"Raph's right," I said quietly. The idea, like most of the ones we'd worked with in the past, was risky and insane, even if it stood a good chance of working. "If you guys are going to risk going right into the hornet's nest, it _has_ to be worth the risk, especially since you probably won't get another shot like this."

"We can make it worth the risk," Don said. He tapped a couple fingers against his thigh, thinking, then glanced at me with a nod. "There are a couple servers we could target that would get Karai taken down, or at least put under investigation—and any decent investigation will be able to get into her system and find everything on her illegal dealings; her security's not that good."

Leo blinked. "Wait, you mean you've gotten in?"

Don nodded. "A while ago. And before you ask me why I haven't emailed it to the police or whatever, it's because I can't. In situations like this, something this big would only be trusted if it came from a creditable source—a _legal_, creditable source. Chuck pointed that out, said that turning in dirt on Karai won't be of much use if the cops turn around and ask me how I got it, then arrest me for cyber terrorism."

Leo deflated slightly at that. "But there _is_ incriminating information in there that could get her arrested?"

"Oh, there's plenty of that," Don assured him.

"Anyone you could tip off to go looking for it?" Mikey asked hopefully.

"Tips wouldn't really work, because that comes back to the same issue with creditability. It's not like a regular tip; the police can easily send a car out to check out a possible drug meet or something, that's not as big of a deal. But no one's going to launch an in-depth investigation on an anonymous tip, especially not on a major business," Don explained. "Still, there are some places we can target and try to get their attention. The Better Business Bureau, maybe. We could fake a hack on them, make it look like it came from Karai; it'd be a target given the fact that they would have documents and details on file for a deal that will lose Karai her company and her job. We wouldn't be able to crack it, but even an attempt would bring trouble down on whoever they tracked the IP address to."

Leo nodded absently, lost in thought. He opened his mouth to say something, then hesitated before speaking again. "This could go one of two ways," he said slowly. "Either we all go in, or we separate. We bet on the chance that we'll find enough at the tower to take Karai down—or get the police to do it for us—or we take the risk, separate, and deal out as much damage as we can from multiple fronts."

They all chewed on that for a minute before Raph asked the question on everyone's mind. "What're you thinkin'?"

"We aim for more than one target," Leo explained. "We hit Foot HQ to do what we can there; the hacking, if it can be done quickly, or simply attract the police with a report of a disturbance. Vandalism, distractions, spreading the truth about the chance to run for it, anything and everything. We can also target one of Karai's warehouses; blow something up, cause some gunfire, something to get the cops there. Whatever Karai was moving at the other warehouse, it wasn't marked with her sign, so we'd need some sort of a…stencil or something that looks like the Foot mark to make sure it's pinned on Karai this time."

I never failed to be impressed with Leo's talent for tactics, or the guys' ability to make such plans not only sound simple, but also work. None of them blinked an eye at the suggestion, just nodded like it was the obvious thing to do.

"We'll probably be at this for the next day or so," Leo added, glancing at his brothers to gauge their reactions. "We'll have to stay on the move for a while; no coming back to the apartment, and even meeting back up would be risky. If we're together and stationary, it's easier for them to find us. Apart, they have multiple targets to try and track at the same time, and we've seen over and over that they can't track like we can. We hit them hard and in several places at once, force Karai to split her forces and put out a bunch of fires."

"You'll need some kind of base, somewhere to meet up that's safe," Casey pointed out.

"Our place," I said immediately, and Casey grinned at me for beating him to it. "I'm pretty sure we're still under surveillance by a few plainclothes officers, which will make Karai think twice about starting anything. And our security system will let us know if anyone so much as tries the windows."

The protest I was expecting—I had a feeling they wouldn't want us in the middle of things, but it was the best way we could help—came from Raph, rather than Leo.

"We can meet up there when it's all over, but 'til then, it's prob'ly better if we each just find a place to go to ground on our own," he said, cracking his knuckles absentmindedly. "There are lotsa places one or two people can hide that four people can't, an' rather than tryin' to get all the way across town, dependin' on where we all go, it'd be better to just get outta sight as soon as we're done with the attacks."

Don nodded thoughtfully. "So, two groups?"

Leo tilted his head in a shrug. "Or three."

"Three?"

There was a second's worth of a pause, then Leo's shoulders lifted briefly in the slightest sigh. It was obvious from the look on his face that he didn't think anyone was going to like what he said next…which was usually a good indicator that we wouldn't.

"I'm the only one they know by appearance," he said matter-of-factly. "If I go with any of you guys, I'm a risk, because if they see me with anyone who isn't Casey or April, they'll know it's one of you. You three are still unknowns, and that's our biggest advantage; they could run into you on the sidewalk outside of Foot HQ or coming out of our buildings and they wouldn't know it was you. Their only real hope is to trap us in our apartments, because in the city, out on the streets…we're as good as invisible. Even if they could see us, there's no way that even the Foot Tech could get to us in the kinds of crowds we see here on the weekends. So we stay on the move, outmaneuver them."

"So when you say three groups…?" Mikey asked slowly.

"You and Don hit the tower and do what you can there. Raph, you'll hit one of the warehouses, or more than one, whatever works out. I'll wait around here until I know I've been seen, and then take off. I'll lead whoever follows me into the sewers. I can keep them there for hours and lose them easily."

He'd barely finished talking before his brothers cut over him, almost in unison.

"No."

Leo looked annoyed, but not surprised. "Why not?" he asked, careful patience in his voice.

"Because it's stupid," Raph said bluntly.

"What part?" Leo asked, a challenge obvious in his voice. I winced, knowing he was remembering what I'd told him about his brothers' concerns; apparently he'd decided it was best to have it out sooner rather than later.

"Guess."

"Raph. What part do you have a problem with?"

"What do you think, Leo?" Raph snapped. "I've got a problem with you goin' down there to play decoy by yourself. It's not like—" He visibly restrained himself, throttling back on his anger, and I could tell he was swallowing words that would have hurt. "Do you really want to have to go through that again?"

"Go through…?" Leo blinked a couple times before the light bulb went on, and then his face softened slightly. "Raph, this is a totally different situation. I don't have to worry about outrunning the entire Foot clan; if it's just the Foot Tech, there are only a dozen, twenty of them, tops. And besides, in the sewers, it won't matter if it's Foot Tech, because they have no experience with moving quietly—they think being invisible is all the precaution they need to take. Plus they have nowhere near the experience with the sewers that we do, and they don't know the tunnels."

"So you'd be fine with one of us goin' instead, right?"

"Sure," Leo said bluntly. Raph blinked in surprise, and Leo continued. "You just tell me honestly that'd you'd be making as big a deal out of this if I'd suggested you or Mikey or Don should go," he finished, throwing Raph's words back at him.

Raph's eyes narrowed, but he didn't say anything.

Leo nodded into Raph's silence. "So it's just me, then," he said, rolling his eyes and throwing his hands up sharply. "Why is it that all of you think I'm suddenly suicidal?" he asked, frustration evident on his face. "How many times in the past have I made a plan that was designed solely for me to get my ass kicked? How many of my plans have consisted of "hey, you guys go around the back while I taunt the people with guns out front"? None. But suddenly you all think every plan is just some not-so-veiled attempt to fall on my sword. Why?"

Cloth rustled as Don shifted uncomfortably against the wall, all of them looking slightly taken aback at Leo's outburst. "It's not like there isn't a precedent for it, Leo."

"There isn't," Leo retorted.

Don's hesitance disappeared. "Oh, like you haven't jumped in front of swords for us in the past?"

Leo glared at his brother. "Like we all haven't taken a hit for each other at one point or another? Like you didn't jump in front of a laser blast for one of us one time?" Don grew a little red in the face at the reminder. "I don't recall anyone trying to stage an intervention for you. You don't—"

He cut himself off and scrubbed his hands over his face roughly. "Yes, I try to protect you guys; I always have, to the best of my ability. I'm not going to deny it. And you know what? I'm not going to apologize for it, either. It's my duty and my right and my _choice_. And if that requires me to take some risks, it's worth it; you're _always_ worth it. But I have never made a plan in which I didn't think all of us could successfully and safely complete each of our roles."

"You're not the only one who wants to keep his brothers safe, Leo, and not the only one who has the right to do what you can to make that happen," Mikey commented, his voice subdued. "There's a difference between thinking you're trying to get yourself killed and just not wanting you to always take the most dangerous job so that we're safer."

Leo slumped slightly at the admonishment. "I know. It's just…whatever you think this is, me trying to be a martyr or whatever, it isn't. I wouldn't do that to you guys. If I were to get to choose how I go out, it wouldn't be because of the Foot." He glanced at Mikey seriously. "And what part of this seems like I'd be the only one in danger? You think sending you guys into Foot HQ, or to a guarded warehouse on your own, is going to be safe? I'll have miles of tunnels to hide in that no one chasing me will even know of; you'll be inside places the Foot know well. What part of this sounds like me trying to protect you?"

It was hard seeing how frustrated they all were, just trying to adjust to the new dynamic and figure out how their relationships with each other had grown and changed. Leo was trying to learn to let his brothers take care of him, but he had so little experience with it. And for their parts, Don, Raph, and Mikey—Raph especially, I wagered—were learning how hard it is to try and take care of someone who didn't want to be protected. For Leo, it really was as simple as just shutting out and off any issues he had with being human in light of having to fall back into a warrior mindset, but for the rest of the guys…the Foot and the Shredder (both versions) had nearly cost them their brother a few times, and I couldn't blame them for wanting to keep Leo away from situations that might set him up for a repeat.

"This is the most logical way to do it," he said plainly, his eyes on his brothers. "I'm not saying that because I don't think any one of you could handle it just as well, I'm saying it because it's the best layout given our individual strengths. Don has to be at Foot HQ; he's the only one who knows how to do what we need to do there. He's going to need someone to help him and watch his back while he works, and Raph, we both know you'd rather be breaking things than standing around waiting someplace where you can't afford to start a fight. Mikey is the best there is at thinking on his feet and talking his way out of anything, so if they get caught being somewhere they shouldn't, there's no one better to improvise something to get them out of trouble."

"He's right," Casey chimed in, nodding to Leo reassuringly. "Leo's the only one they've seen, an' they aren't gonna chase one'a you guys 'cause they don't know who you are. Don and Mikey work well together, and Raph…man, you're good at wreckin' shit and gettin' people's attention. It's a gift. It's a crazy plan, but you guys work best with the crazy ones."

Raph, Don, and Mikey glanced at each other before Mikey nodded for all of them. "Alright, we'll give it a shot. What are the particulars?"

"Pretty basic; we can't afford to let this get more complicated than it already is. First things first, though—we need to call Ryu. If he's not willing to help us, we're going to have to come up with something else quickly."

Mikey nodded and tugged his phone out of his bag. "Give me a couple minutes." He paced away, his steps almost dancing with extra energy. Soon enough he perked up, pressing the phone harder against his ear. "Hey, Chuck, it's Mike…yeah, alright, but we've got a shitstorm heading our way pronto. Is Ryu there? Yeah, thanks…hey, Ryu. Look, Karai tracked Leo, and she's probably gonna nail down our addresses soon. We've got a plan, but we could use some help, so I've got a favor to ask…"

He was on the phone for several tense minutes before he grinned and flashed us a thumbs-up. "Awesome. Thanks, Ryu, seriously. We'll see you soon. Yeah, you too. Bye." Mikey flipped the phone shut, coming back to join Leo on the couch. "Okay, Ryu says he'll let all his friends on the inside know that now's the time to make a break for it. He says he can guarantee at least two friends will be able to make it to his place and drop off their suits, possibly four, but he won't know 'til he gets a hold of them. They can probably be there in anywhere from ten minutes to half an hour."

"Good. We'll pick those up, then Mikey and Don, you'll head to Foot HQ to do what you can. Tell the rest of the soldiers about what's going on, set off a fire alarm, do whatever you can, but _do not_ stay there more than an hour."

Don made a noise of protest. "Leo, there's a limit to what I can get done in an hour, even on their computers."

Leo's expression was intent when he glanced at his brother. "I know, and that's fine. You're not taking her down on your own, just hitting the foundations. More than an hour is pushing your luck, and Raph and I will be too far away to get to you in time if something happens. Raph, take your pick of the warehouses we know of; the ones on the east side might be best, because that way I can lead the Foot Tech through the sewers on the other side of town, away from you and into some of the harder tunnels."

"Have I got a time limit too?" he drawled, the slight belligerence in his tone belied by the eager, serious light in his eyes at the promise of getting to act soon.

"No, but don't push your luck either. Hit as many as you can as quickly as you can, but no more than five; they probably don't communicate between the warehouses, but eventually someone will contact headquarters and they'll figure out the pattern and be watching for you at the other warehouses nearby. Hit hard and fast, and then get to some cover and stay there; you'll be on standby in case we need backup somewhere else."

Raph looked disgruntled at the idea of being sidelined so quickly, but he didn't argue. "What about that stencil thing? I ain't exactly Mr. Art Student, y'know, an' I doubt I'll find somethin' to make it with on my way over there."

"I have supplies for that," I said quickly. "Old plastic covers, sturdy stuff, from some of my shipping boxes for various antiques, and some box cutters. I know there's some spray paint down in the basement somewhere too."

"I could make it, but I've got to get to Ryu's to get the uniforms," Mikey pointed out. "Donnie, can you pick 'em up by yourself?"

Don shook his head. "I'll have to come with you to April's; if I can't stay here, I need somewhere to set up surveillance stuff and work on finishing some gadgets for our trip to Foot HQ, and we'll want to get there as soon as we can."

"Leo an' I can pick up your dresses," Raph said with a smirk.

He'd hardly finished speaking before Leo was shaking his head. "Raph, it's too risky for you to be seen with me."

Raph rolled his eyes. "So we travel separate, a few dozen feet apart or on opposite sides of the street. It's Saturday; we'll be two of thousands out on the sidewalks today, bro. I'll go in first, 'cause if someone sees you, they'll be watchin' for who comes after ya, not who goes in ahead. An' if they see you comin' out, they'll prob'ly just think Don screwed with the system an' put in false addresses. I'll head out after an' meet 'em underground with the uniforms at our old pizza delivery grate on Fifth; that's on their way to headquarters, and I'll be within three blocks from two of Karai's warehouses there. We'll switch the stencil thing an' the uniforms an' be good to go."

Leo's fingers moved like he was tracing out the movements on the map in his head, then nodded. "That'll work well, yeah. As soon as we get the uniforms, I'll double back to our place. I can figure out where the Foot Tech are with Don's goggles, then head into the sewers."

"What route are you going to take?" Don asked, still looking uncomfortable with Leo's role in the plan.

Leo met his eyes evenly. "I'm open to suggestions. I want something on the opposite side of town from Foot HQ and Raph, both so I don't attract extra attention to you guys and so we've got them spread thin."

"Stay outta the tunnels that run beneath Eighth," Raph said firmly. "That's one'a the passages they take the most, an' they know that stretch as well as they know anythin' down there."

"Take the secondary route to our main junkyard," Don suggested, "the one we take when it's been raining hard and the sewers are running high. It's a harder path, but the Foot Tech won't know it and won't be able to make good time chasing you through it."

"And don't let them chase you for too long," Mikey added, his eyes fixed on Leo seriously. "I know you want to be a good distraction, but what you said for us goes for you too: if anything happens, we'll be too far away to help quickly. Let 'em chase you for about ten or twenty minutes, and then make 'em play hide and seek. Don't…don't stay down there more than an hour. Head topside if you're worried about keeping them busy, but if you're down there too long they can split up and trap you."

Leo didn't argue with any of it, just nodded, obviously wanting to do whatever he could to help the guys worry less. "Alright, sounds good."

Casey leaned forward to knock on the table. "Where do you guys want us?"

I caught the look the guys passed between them and frowned slightly. "You think it'd be best if we stayed at our place," I said for them.

Casey snorted and sat up. "You gotta be kiddin'!"

Raph shoved him with an elbow. "You hate it, Case, an' I get that, but we need to be fast an' completely invisible for some of this stuff. An' you guys have trained, yeah, but not like we have."

I grabbed Casey's arm, squeezing lightly when he started to protest again. "Casey, think about it; the guys are going to be all over the place, and it makes sense for us to be somewhere central in case one of them needs help. And someone is going to have to be the command center and keep an eye on everyone's locations. Not to mention, if we still need to get out of town, we're the getaway drivers. It makes sense." I didn't like the idea, but I had to admit it was comforting to know we'd be on hand to help if anyone needed it.

He frowned at me, looking betrayed, but finally subsided with a huff. "Fine, whatever. It sucks, but we'll play second string on this one."

"Thanks, guys," Mikey said sincerely. "Seriously, though, it really will be helpful to have you guys keeping an eye on things and letting us know who's where." He blew out a breath, stirring his bangs. "So when do we head out?"

"Not until we're sure we have—"

"I still have preparations to make for our tech—"

Leo and Don spoke at almost the same time, and the matching tones of alarm in their voices would have been funny if they hadn't been cut off by a distant beeping from Don's room. He stiffened immediately before darting down the hall, and I followed fast on his heels. "Don?"

Don slid into his chair like he was stealing home, allowing the momentum to slam him into place at his desk, and his fingers were flying as soon as they hit the keyboard. "I think it's—" He swore furiously, and I could hear Leo inhale sharply from beside me at his brother's language. I poked him in the side to cut him off. "Dammit. It's the alert from the program I coded; our information's been accessed."

"Is it from Foot HQ?" I asked tightly.

Don pawed through the papers on his desk to check the IP address. "None other. I can trigger the DMV's firewalls and alert them to the hack," he muttered, typing rapidly, "but that's all I can do on short notice. Leo?"

"We're not going to assume we'll be having any luck today," Leo said immediately. "Given our track record, that's the safest assumption to make. As far as we know, the Foot are ready to go and have just been waiting for Chaplain to get our addresses. It's safer to assume they're already on their way here than it is to assume we have more time than we really do. We're moving out in five." He glanced at me. "April, Casey, can you take our bags back to your place? We might still need to get out of town after this, and there's no guarantee we'll be able to get back here safely."

"No problem," I assured him. "Just let me—"

"Casey's going to have to grab the bags," Don said tersely, not taking his eyes off the computer. "April, I need you to finish this for me; I need to get the trackers and earpieces ready."

I moved behind him, a hand on the back of his chair as I looked over his coding and figured out where he was going with it. "Got it," I replied, tapping him briskly on the shoulder to move him aside and sliding in to take his place. I blocked out the discussions behind me, Don rapping out instructions on various gadgets he was sending with his brothers, Raph and Casey arguing, Leo and Mikey running over particulars. In the five minutes it took for me to finish triggering the firewall alarms and tag the intrusion to the Foot, the guys had gotten outfitted. Leo and Raph had changed into darker clothing, their pockets filled with who knew what and weapons either tucked under their clothing or into a duffel bag. Mikey and Don were loaded for bear as well and wearing two of Don's Geek Squad shirts for the trip over to our place.

My heart jumped into my throat the way it always did when the guys were heading into another fight; I'd seen how badly confrontations with the Foot could go, and while I really did think their plan was solid, it couldn't erase the memories of how the guys had looked after the attack on Saki's ship.

The guys took a minute to say goodbye and wish each other luck, with Mikey forcing a hug on Raph and Leo.

"You'll both be careful?"

Raph just rolled his eyes and nodded, but Leo softened at the obvious concern. "I always am. You had better be, too. And look on the bright side—if I'm on my own, you don't have to worry about me trying to protect any of you."

Mikey's expression said that he didn't know whether to find that encouraging or worrisome.

Leo glanced at Casey and me. "Thanks again, guys, really. Be careful, and watch yourselves. If anything happens or the Foot target you, let us know and we'll pull the plug and be there as soon as we can."

"You just worry 'bout yourself," Casey ordered sternly. "We'll be fine; you guys just make sure you keep us updated. I hate bein' left outta the loop."

"You were born outta the loop, Casey," Raph drawled, exchanging punches in the arm with him as he headed for the door and nodded to Don and Mikey. "I expect to see you chuckleheads in one piece tomorrow, you got it? Let's hit the road, Leo."

Leo smiled tightly at us as he followed Raph out the door. "Be careful, you guys. I'll see you soon."

Mikey stared at the door for a second like he wanted to drag Raph and Leo back inside, then lifted his chin, hefting his and Don's bags.

"Let's do this."

* * *

**A/N:** Another one down! As always, reviews are love, and concrit is greatly appreciated, as are any heads-ups about spelling/grammar flubs.

Additionally, one reviewer brought this up in a review of WWCHB: FF is apparently going to be cracking down on stories that are MA, and noted on the home page that "Detailed descriptions of physical interaction of sexual or violent nature is considered Fiction MA." So my question for you guys is, in your opinion, do any of my stories seem to be too detailed in terms of violence? If you think any of them are flirting with an MA rating, please let me know. You can give me a heads-up in a review or a PM, either one would be greatly appreciated. I personally don't think any of them are too graphic, other than maybe WWCHB and possibly The End of a Melody, but additional opinions would be great. Thanks!


	20. Chapter 20

_Disclaimer_: see previous chapters.

I am so sorry for another epic fail on my part guys, but the past month has been crazy. Between work, two impromptu visits from different out-of-state family members, and coming down with the plague, things have been busy to say the least. If I could skip work to work on this, I would in a heartbeat, but that's kind of bad form (supposedly). Nonetheless, I was able to get this and the next chapter laid out, so look for that sometime next week (and I mean that this time, unless I catch the plague again or get hit by a train or something).

Copious, copious amounts of thanks to all my reviewers: **TGabbyS, Technophobia678, greshunkai, Silver Lightning Blade, meganechan720, BraveChicken, KooKoo 4 Kaiba, mela989898, Yolinanimai, Happy Stalker Ball, Hily, Tahbel, cuzimaw3som317, TurquoisePanda, mcmario, Shadowcat2428, Sabrinasidd, **and** Karlina101**. You guys rock my socks off.

And a special treat for everyone: more awesome fanart! The wonderful TurquoisePanda sent me a link to an ADORABLE drawing she did of Leo and Naomi's super awkward blind date. It makes me smile and squee so much, and you guys should definitely check it out: foreverfornever740. deviantart #/d584si4.

All of you reading are fantastic people, and I totally don't deserve your patience—which is epic, to put up with me and my delays for as long as you have. Just know that I hate the delays as much as you do, but my stuff for work has to come first, and it doesn't always end at 5 pm every day. Thank you for bearing with me.

Chapter warnings: violence, Raph being a major potty mouth, and a bit of a cliffhanger. Just remember, if you kill me for what happens in this, you'll never find out how things end. ^_^;;

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Raphael

* * *

For all that I'd told Leo it would be easy as hell to just walk down the sidewalk an' not be noticed—and believed it, too—I'd be lyin' if I said I wasn't feelin' a little twitchy as we made our way to Chuck an' Ryu's. Part of it was meetin' strangers (an ex-cop and an ex-Foot, and hell if I had quite figured out which was worse), though the fact that they successfully passed Leo's paranoia tests was a strong mark in their favor. Most of it was pre-battle tension, though. I was always hyped up on adrenaline before we headed into a fight, an' the fact that I wasn't even goin' into a real fight didn't seem to make much difference. I wasn't too worried 'bout my part of things, because for all that the plan was off the cuff, we'd basically lived on battle plans like that half the time.

My real concern was for Leo; he could spout all the "it's only logical" bullshit he wanted, but his part still came down to hangin' himself out like bait, an' that didn't fly with me. I wasn't thrilled with the idea of Mikey and Don walkin' into Foot HQ either, perfect disguises or not, but at least they'd be watchin' each other's backs. Leo would be out there on his own, an' while I knew damn well that only Don, Mikey, or I would ever have a chance of actually keepin' up with Leo in the sewers, let alone trappin' him there, I still didn't like it.

That bein' said, it was also too damn bad if I didn't like it, because we were goin' through with it anyways, and I knew Leo well enough to know that I had no chance in hell of talkin' him into lettin' me go with him. He was right in sayin' that we had an advantage in the fact that Karai only knew what Leo looked like, an' that it'd be stupid to throw that away, but it was also stupid for him to sign up to play hide an' seek with invisible ninja.

But again, see previous statement re: lots of experience with stupid plans.

I checked over my shoulder for Leo every time I stopped at a crosswalk, carefully as I could; he was shadowin' me about half a block back on the other side of the street. It was comfortin' to know he was there, less so to know that there was a chance he might have already picked up some Foot tails. Still, we only had a block to go to get to Chuck an' Ryu's place, so all we had to do was get inside, get the damn uniforms, an' then scatter.

I weaved in front of the slower people as I crossed the last intersection, dodgin' around a taxi an' flickin' off some jackass in a fancy sedan—tinted windows an' everything, what the hell—that decided to park six inches from me. Chuck an' Ryu lived in the kind of brick apartment buildin' that showed up on almost every block; couldn't get any more nondescript if it tried, which was helpful. But it had a fire escape, so I wasn't complaining. I headed inside, loping up the first flight of stairs to get out of eyeshot of the road, an' waited for Leo to catch up.

He strolled in a couple minutes later, catchin' sight of me an' headin' up the stairs. "Second floor," he said tersely, twitchin' a little as an Asian guy walked in and glanced at us before veerin' off to check the mailboxes by the door. I glanced at Leo to see if that was Ryu, but he shook his head shortly an' gestured up the stairs. "That's not him."

We booked it upstairs, and Leo had barely knocked before the apartment door was yanked open. The guy that opened it was a few inches shorter than me, but wiry like Don. This had to be Ryu, an' it was hard to miss the way his eyes flicked over me an' Leo before his mouth tugged to the side for a second. I tried not to smirk; if I was him an' knew what was goin' on, I would have rather seen Don or Mike at my front door too, rather than me an' Leo.

Still, it was nice to know our reputations still preceded us, even with Foot who'd been outta the business for a while.

He gestured us in quickly, closing' the door behind us as soon as Leo cleared the doorway, an' waved to the couch. "Only two of my friends have stopped by so far, though two more are expected. If you wanted to wait…?"

Leo an' I glanced at each other, an' he looked about as thrilled with that idea as Ryu sounded. "I think it'd be better if we didn't," he said, checkin' the clock on their wall. "We can make do with two; that was the minimum we needed. If need be, Raph and I should be able to find our own."

That was an awkward mental image, seein' myself try to wrestle a freakin' unitard off'a some guy in a warehouse. Thanks, Leo.

"Fair enough," Ryu replied. I tried not to reach for weapons I wasn't carryin' when what I thought was a bathroom door instead opened up to reveal a short hallway that led to the bedrooms. The guy that stepped out looked us over, noddin' at Leo. "Ah. Chuck, this is Raphael. Raphael, my friend Chuck."

We nodded to each other, an' I tried not to look like I was sizin' him up. He was a big guy, an' obviously still in shape from his years on the force.

Chuck glanced between us and the uniforms on the couch, shakin' his head. "I hope you know I am very carefully not asking anyone anything about this situation, so that I don't have to lie to any fellow officers on the off chance that this ends up as a very public mess," he said ruefully. "So instead I'm just assuming your brothers enjoy active pastimes in cosplay."

I snorted. "Well, seein' as Mike's been known to run around with a cape on, it's almost like you're not wrong."

He huffed a laugh. "Good to know."

Leo moved forward to grab the uniforms, foldin' them up while I unzipped the backpack I'd brought. We crammed them inside, an' I made sure my sai ended up on top, just in case. A rattle from down the hall leadin' to the bedrooms had me closin' my hand on one in preparation.

Ryu glanced down the hall, then back at us. "I imagine that is another of my friends. If you would excuse me…?"

"Would it be possible to talk to them?" Leo asked carefully. "It'd be helpful if we knew what the situation is like at the tower."

I let go of my sai reluctantly, zippin' the backpack up an' flingin' it over a shoulder, remindin' myself that we were here to play nice.

Ryu hesitated. "Could I have your word that whoever you see in there, you won't try to remember their face?"

"I'll do you one better," I said, cuttin' Leo off. "Whoever it is can keep their mask on while we talk; I don't really wanna see anyone strip, if you can imagine that. Or should we be worried about them rememberin' our faces?"

"I don't think it would surprise you, Raphael, to hear that they would remember your face only so that they'd know who to avoid in the future," Ryu answered, his voice dry.

I couldn't help laughin'. "I'm alright with that. Besides, I could use some tips on whose shit I should wreck once we leave."

"Your brother isn't very good at letting people maintain plausible deniability, is he?" Chuck asked Leo.

"He has a bad habit of being proud of things like property damage or gratuitous injury," Leo replied, his voice resigned with that familiar side of 'I name all my migraines after him', an' I could feel him glarin' at the back of my head as I followed Ryu down the hall. I just waved.

The guy waitin' for us in what I guessed was Ryu's room was big, close to Chuck's size, an' I kept an eye on his sword. He froze when he saw me, an' Ryu stepped forward with his hands out.

"It's alright, he's—well, not a friend, but a temporary ally," Ryu said quickly. "Trust me, he's in no position to be turning anyone in for being a ninja."

The guy still looked like he wasn't buyin' it, so I figured I'd help. "I might have been a little shorter an' green the last time you saw me," I drawled.

I half-expected that to send him runnin' straight back out the window, but apparently the shock factor was pretty serious, 'cause the guy just stood dead still. "One of the Turtles?"

"Long story, none of which you'll be hearin'," I said bluntly.

"The red one," the guy said, voice dry. "Wonderful."

"This," Ryu interrupted sharply, "is not the time. Raphael is here peaceably, and I'm sure you know how hard that is for him—"

"Hey now."

"—so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't antagonize him…or vice versa," he added with a dark look in my direction.

"I'm just here to play nice with everyone," I drawled, getting impatient. "Look, if I was here to pick a fight, trust me, it would've been underway already. All I want is some information."

"And some uniforms?" the guy challenged.

I grinned, makin' sure my teeth showed. Maybe this guy was quittin' Karai and the Foot, but unlike Mikey, I didn't believe that meant he might not still have some bones to pick with us over one thing or another, an' I didn't think it could hurt for him (or Ryu) to remember that it took about a dozen of him an' his friends to equal one of us. "Halloween's comin' early, that's all."

Ryu shifted to stand between us. "Are the warehouses in the third patrol quadrant still full, or have they been emptied?"

"They're still full and under surveillance," the guy answered, his confusion obvious.

"Are we talking east, north, what?" I asked.

"Two to the east of here," Ryu's friend replied. "Ryu, what…?"

He shook his head. "It is better that you not know. Just…find somewhere to go to ground for the next few days. Things are going to—" Voices from the hall had us all going still, before Ryu relaxed slightly. "Ryan's home; we should wrap this up. Raphael, if you've heard what you needed to…?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks," I said shortly to his friend. "Here's hopin' I don't see—"

There was a sharp slam like the door hit the wall, an' I heard Chuck yell once before Leo's voice cracked over his like a whip, that battlefield yell he'd learned so that we could hear him no matter what. "Raph, _get out_!"

Oh yeah, like hell _that_ was gonna happen; if he was tellin' me to leave, it was definitely time to ignore him. I ran down the hall, surprised to see Ryu right beside me—because if Leo was freakin' out, it had to be Karai, an' I figured she would have to be the last person Ryu would ever wanna see again. I almost made it to the livin' room before I ran into Chuck's back, an' damn, the guy was built like a wall. I tried to shove past him, then froze when I caught a glance over his shoulder.

Leo was standin' a few feet in front of Chuck, an' just half a dozen feet past him was the queen bitch herself, holdin' a sword to the neck of some kid that had to be Ryan, lookin' like he'd pass out if he got any paler.

Leo's head twitched slightly to the side, an' I knew he knew I was there. "Raph, _go_—"

"He will stay exactly where he is, or we will all see how much of a mess this boy will make of the carpet when I kill him," Karai said shrilly. She glanced past Leo at me, her face twitchin' like she was about to scream. "Raphael, I presume. Even you are poisoning humankind now."

I flicked her off. "Jealous 'cause I'm prettier?" I asked, knowin' Mikey would be bustin' a gut from laughin' at that if he'd been here, if he didn't beat me to sayin' it first.

"Raph—"

"Karai, let Ryan go," Chuck rumbled. "He has nothing to do with this, and even you can't think—"

"Even me?" Karai repeated, lookin' offended. "How dare you think you can—"

"Enough." Everyone shut up at Leo's bark, an' Karai looked like she hated herself for fallin' quiet like the rest of us. "Karai, what do you want?"

She sneered. "That should be obvious, even to you, Leonardo."

"Last time I checked, you didn't need a hostage to try and kill me," Leo said with that careful kinda calm that meant he was only a few minutes away from losin' his shit. "If that's changed—"

"I don't," she snapped back. "But apparently I do need one to be able to speak to you alone, given your tendency to surround yourself with…potential casualties."

All the muscles in Leo's back went tense. "If you hurt him, Karai, you know there won't be anything keeping me from killing you," he said, deadly serious.

"You're unarmed. I think we both know how such an encounter would end."

"And last time, you were armed and deep in the middle of your own territory," Leo murmured. "And we both remember how that ended."

Karai's face flushed, an' I just about bit through my lip tryin' not to laugh at the burn Leo'd hit her with. Her eyes darted to mine. "You will leave us alone," she spit out, before noddin' at Chuck an' Ryu as well, "as will you. Close the door behind you. Leonardo and I have matters to discuss."

"Like hell," I snarled, echoed by Chuck an' Ryu.

Ryan whimpered slightly as Karai fisted a hand in his hair an' tilted his head back. "You are not in a position to argue. Fight me on this, and the brat dies."

"And what guarantee do we have that you won't kill him if we do what you ask?" Chuck asked. He was shakin' slightly, out of either anger or fear for Ryan, but his voice was steady.

"So long as Leonardo behaves himself, I have no reason to damage the boy."

It was about then that I'd really figured out that Karai was losin' it, or had already. This was way beyond the norm for her; time was she'd've just punted Ryan outta the way an' gone straight for Leo, but now she was either desperate for answers or worried that she couldn't take Leo one-on-one, and was pullin' shit outta her hat. Crazy shit, of course, an' dammit all, it was also shit that Leo would never say no to—

"Your word on that, for what it's worth?" Leo asked.

I was gonna kick his ass when this was over.

"Of course."

One of Leo's hands flexed in an' out of a fist, an' I could tell he was workin' over every part of the situation. "…Fine. Raph?"

"Leo, you gotta be _kiddin_' me—"

"I'm really not, Raphael," Leo interrupted, voice sharp. "Chuck, Ryu, back away, please. I'm not going to do anything that will endanger Ryan, believe me."

"You can't—"

"Raph." Leo glanced back at me, his eyes hard. His back was against the wall, an' he was worried, but he was also _pissed_, because goin' after innocents had always been a hell of a firm line for Leo (an' for all of us) that was _not _s'posed to be crossed. If he had a chance to take Karai on, he'd do it, an' he was plannin' on winning, barehanded or not. If things got a little hazy for me when I got pissed, they got damn clear for Leo—an' if someone he cared about was in danger, they got a little bloody, too. If I had to leave any version of my brother alone in a room with Karai, a pissed Leo was the next best thing after a Leo that was armed.

"I really hoped he kills you this time," I told Karai lowly, tuggin' Chuck an' Ryu back down the hall. "You got five minutes, assumin' none of their neighbors call the cops before then."

The last things I saw before I closed the door was Leo lookin' like he thought killin' Karai might not be off the menu today, an' Karai lookin' like the idea of neighbors hearin' screams had honestly never occurred to her.

Shit, she'd gone totally off the reservation, an' I'd just left Leo an' a kid in there with her. Why the hell was this my life now?

Ryu grabbed my arm as soon as the door shut, glarin' at me. "What the hell are you thinking?"

I tugged my arm away, tryin' to keep my voice low enough to hear what was goin' on in the other room. "I'm thinkin' you'd like to not get Ryan killed," I hissed. "You know Karai just as well as I do, theoretically, an' you know she'd do it. You of all people know what she'd do to kill any one of us, let alone Leo; hell, you've prob'ly helped her do some of it. So maybe instead of getting pissed at me for someone else's crazy, you'd rather slip out that window, down the fire escape, an' get back in through the front of the buildin' so we can ambush Crazy Ass out there."

"I can't just—couldn't you go?"

To be honest, I could prob'ly get out an' back to the front door faster than him, but I was a selfish bastard, an I wanted to stay close enough to back Leo up. Plus, no way was I leavin' Leo alone without anyone I trusted to back him up. "Look, Leo knows you're an ally right now, but the fact of the matter is that if anyone other than me comes outta this door at his back when he's got his brain in fight mode, you're just gonna register as another enemy, an' that's not gonna help."

"But I—"

I slapped a hand over his mouth as I heard someone speakin' out in the livin' room, pressin' an ear against the door to hear better.

"So. This would be my answer as to why I haven't found you in the sewers."

"Karai, I am not in the mood for small talk. What do you want?"

"I want many things, Leonardo. I want my life returned to the way it was before you ruined everything, and to know how you could dare to think you deserve a completely new life when you destroyed mine. And I want you dead."

Things had always been…complicated between Leo an' Karai, full of all sorts of what-the-hell that no one ever talked about, but the level of hate in her voice…that was new. An' I had a sinkin' feeling that Leo wasn't pickin' up on the sheer levels of crazy behind Karai's little episode, which meant he was expectin' her to be reasonable when she was just a straightjacket away from a padded cell.

"None of those can be accomplished here. You walked into an apartment building full of people with a _sword_, Karai, kicking in doors and all but announcing your presence to everyone; do you really expect to be able to kill me and just walk right back out?" For cryin' out loud, Leo sounded _offended_ by her lack of plannin' skills.

"Am I to assume it would be a simple matter to get you to face me by just issuing an invitation?"

"Do we need to revisit who tracked down who last time? I've never run from you, Karai. If I had my way, we'd have settled this personally by now, but I've been told that's out of the question."

It took absolutely all of my restraint not to fly out the door at that, 'cause dammit, I should have known that just 'cause he'd let it go didn't mean Leo had stopped considerin' the idea of just takin' Karai on solo. I could picture the two of them starin' each other down, an' I knew that if he had the chance, Leo would trap me in here an' go off for some real-life Mortal Combat with Karai. Hell, if it wasn't for Ryan bein' in the middle, Leo'd prob'ly lock the door to the hall and just go at Karai right away.

…And wasn't _that_ a comfortin' thought. I checked the door, slightly relieved to see there wasn't a keyhole or lock, then checked the frame. There was a bit of a gap between the door an' doorjamb by the hinges where the wood had shrunk an' pulled away. I pressed my face against the opening, tryin' to focus. The crack was too small to be able to see Leo, given how close he was, an' the gap was only good for lookin' straight out, but I could see Karai's right side. She'd dropped her sword, but still had her arm anchored around Ryan's neck. I glanced back at Ryu. "Ryan's fine, but tell me you've got some weapons in this place," I said quietly, unzippin' my bag an' pullin' out my sai. He nodded, an' I jerked my head down the hall towards his room. "Get 'em an' get goin'. The longer this drags on, the worse it's gonna get for everyone."

He hesitated another minute, an' I fought off the urge to just kick his ass down the fire escape myself. "Look, I'm not aimin' for just getting Leo out of there alive, I'm aimin' for Leo and Ryan. You know I'm fast enough to hit her with one'a my sai in one throw, so either she's dead, or she moves the sword away from Ryan long enough to block. I know Leo can reach her the second her sword is busy, but we need someone to ambush her from the back too, 'cause Leo's out there unarmed. _Go_."

He went, noddin' at me tightly an' clappin' a hand on Chuck's arm. I kept an ear tuned down the hall, waitin' to hear the window, but instead I heard Ryu swearin' softly. He was back a couple seconds later, one hand grippin' my shoulder. "Karai has a man stationed in the alley," he hissed quietly. "I could make out at least a tanto and a gun beneath his jacket."

Freakin' hell. "Don't suppose you have a gun of your own?" I asked Chuck, tryin' to keep an ear on Leo and Karai at the same time. From what I could tell when I was only half payin' attention, Leo was still tryin' to get Karai to just let Ryan go. Because that was workin' so well so far.

Chuck nodded, making a face. "I do, but the chances of discharging that from the back room without Karai hearing it are slim to none. Beyond that, someone else in the building will hear it and call the cops, and this isn't a situation any of us can explain without compromising ourselves."

He was right, but dammit, we _needed_ someone out there. I glanced back at Ryu. "Think you could take him out with some shuriken?" I'd packed some for my warehouse adventures, and I was willin' to lend them out even if it meant pullin' them out of one of Karai's lackeys later.

"He's out of range," Ryu muttered, shiftin' to stand over me and glance out of the crack into the living room. He shook his head an' crouched back down. "However mad Karai has gone, whoever she brought with her at least knows to show some caution."

We all fell silent as Karai raised her voice again. "—to let the boy go, will you let me stab you in that bleeding heart of yours?"

"If you come within arm's reach of me with a sword, Karai, you know how I'll use it." Leo's voice was as close to a growl as I'd heard in a long time. "Look, you've done nothing but force a stalemate; you can't kill me when you're holding your sword on Ryan, and I can't kill you while you're hiding behind him. And you know full well that if you hurt him, you have no protection any more."

"The boy is not protection," Karai spat.

"Really? Then why are you still using him as a shield? Why haven't you attacked? You have the advantage of being armed, so why aren't you acting on it? Is it because you're afraid you'll lose like last time?"

Why the _hell_ was he tauntin' the crazy chick with a sword? And he said I pull dumb shit durin' battles?

"You dare insinuate—"

"I'm done arguing with you, Karai." He took a deep breath. "Do it, now!"

I saw Karai jump an' spun to face the front door, and I realized Leo must've bluffed, actin' like there was someone behind her. Leo lunged at her the minute her back was turned, but she realized the trick just before he reached her, turnin' back around and shovin' Ryan into him to sprawl them both off balance. A heavy thud knocked me on my ass as Leo collided with the door, and once I got back to the crack, I saw Ryan roll off to the side an' fetch up against the couch out of Karai's reach, courtesy of a hard shove from Leo.

I stood, goin' for the doorknob because I had _had_ it, I couldn't take just sittin' around listenin' an' waitin'; my place was by Leo's side, an' it'd been a while since I'd wanted anythin' as much as I wanted to take Karai down. She didn't have a human shield any more, and Leo was gonna need—

The door shook in its frame again, an' I heard Leo yell, choked and short—a second before a blade came slicin' through the wood an' came to a stop inches from my cheek.

Sometimes in the middle of a fight, you stop bein' able to think. Between the adrenaline an' the way we'd been taught to let instinct supercede thought when it had to, sometimes things would register, but nothin' would compute.

This was one'a those times. 'Cause I'd heard Leo hit the door, I'd heard that noise he made, like he'd just been gut-punched, an' now there was a sword through the door right in front of my face, but I couldn't put it together. I didn't want to put it together, 'cause what I was comin' up with was that Leo'd gotten stabbed right in front of me for the second time, I'd been literally just _inches_ away, an' that bitch had gotten to 'im again.

Somethin' red rolled down the blade toward me an' dripped off the end.

"LEO!"

Someone grabbed me from behind, loopin' their arms in front of mine an' draggin' me away from the door. "Stop it, just stop it!" Chuck barked. I tried to throw him, an' he staggered before settlin' back and tuggin' harder. "Raphael, stop it! I know you want to help him, but you don't know where he was hit, and if you open that door now, who knows what kind of damage you might cause."

"_Leave him alone_!" Ryan's yell stopped all of us, an' I heard two heavy thumps an' Karai grunting like she'd been tackled. There was a sharp smark an' Ryan yelped, an' Leo yelled wordlessly once, then twice as the point of a second blade struck through our side of the door.

I could practically feel my brain shut off at that; I hadn't heard Leo scream like that in years. It was the same kind of red haze I remembered all too well from the time I'd almost hurt Mikey, when I'd lost myself in rage.

Ryan was yellin' again in the living room, Chuck was sayin' something right behind me, but I was just stuck on the loop of watchin' those blades pierce through the door, knowin' that they'd gone through Leo first. It took a few seconds for the ringing in my ears to fade enough that I could make sense of things, and by then I could hear rough, stilted breathin' through the door.

I'd always had plenty of reasons to hate Karai (she kept givin' us new ones all the time), but I'd always held back from goin' after her alone because we all figured it was Leo's place. Not anymore; she'd made it my place. I didn't believe in second chances for anyone who hurt my family, and I didn't have Leo's hang-ups with whatever the hell was between them. I just wanted her dead, an' I knew a hell of a lot of unpleasant ways to make that happen.

"I swear, Karai, I'll bleed you for this," I promised, shakin' with rage. I was gonna rip her apart with my _bare hands_. It wasn't just a matter of her hurtin' Leo, or involvin' civilians, it was a matter of her comin' after us even here, for refusin' to just leave us the hell alone even though we'd stepped out of her life.

"Perhaps," she answered coolly from through the door. "But not before I bleed your brother. Goodbye, Raphael. I am curious to see how your brothers react to the news that you just sat back and let Leonardo die."

"No! Dammit, let me _go_!" Ryan's voice was hitchin' in his throat; kid sounded pissed and scared t'death, an' it wasn't helpin' any. The swords shifted slightly, an' I felt my stomach drop as I pictured Leo tryin' to move around them, knowin' he wanted to help Ryan. There was a low, harsh noise through the door an' the swords went still.

Chuck pushed me aside, leanin' closer to the door. "Let Ryan go, Karai. We all know exactly who you are, and I swear I'll identify you to the police. You'll be ruined in this city."

"You have to get out of that room first, whoever you are," Karai spat, "and I will be gone long before then. Besides, I am sick to death of your city; I no longer care what any of the insignificant ants in this wretched place think."

The apartment fell silent as she left, Ryan's yells cuttin' off as the front door slammed shut.

"_Dammit!_" I swore and darted down the hallway for the fire escape, shovin' the window up an' climbin' onto the sill.

"Raph, wait!" Chuck came up behind me, grippin' my shoulder. "Karai's backup is still out there—"

I shook him off. "Then I'll kill him first," I snarled. "Call a frickin' ambulance." I pulled out my cell and slapped it into his hand. "While you're at it, call Don too; his number's on speed-dial. Hit the star button, then one, an' you'll get 'im. Fill him in on what happened." Before he could say anythin' else, I slid out the window and onto the fire escape, then took off down the stairs. Whoever Karai has stationed in the alley was standin' at the entrance, pretendin' to check his phone. He obviously didn't recognize me, but whatever he saw in my face when he glanced up seemed to convince him that disobeyin' orders was a better idea than bein' in my way, 'cause the bastard ducked around the corner an' disappeared into the crowd.

As I rounded the front, I checked the streets. Ryan was a smark kid, accordin' to Mikey, so he'd know to make a hell of a fuss an' attract attention, but…nothin'. Karai must have managed to get him into a car. If I knew the model…

If I knew the model, then what, I'd chase her down on foot? Even if I could catch up, I knew if I saw her I'd just kill her in broad daylight…an' that wouldn't help Leo. I was worried about Ryan, 'cause Karai was a crazy bitch, but until she got back to Foot HQ, she wasn't gonna hurt him; he was still her best protection from us.

He had some time, he did. He had to. Not even Karai was nuts enough to think she could kill a kid an' get away with it. I had to believe Don was right, that she was just crazy enough to be even more dangerous, but not enough to forget that as ninja, hidin' comes before everythin' else. 'Cause otherwise, I was one hell of a bad person for bein' more worried about my brother than the kid who'd just been kidnapped by a psycho.

Ryan did have time; I had to believe that. Leo, on the other hand…I didn't know how much time Leo had. I could guess where the swords had gotten him, but until I saw it…

Once I got inside, I charged up the stairs until I reached Chuck's floor an' skidded around the corner, only to find the door shut. I lunged at it, wrenchin' at the doorknob.

It was locked.

After the first few seconds of bein' so furious I couldn't see straight, I was oddly relieved. Karai was obviously losin' it, but she was still sane enough to know better than to screw everythin' up. If she'd been totally insane, she wouldn't've thought to close the door behind her, much less force the lock. She woulda killed Ryan rather than takin' him with her so that he couldn't help Leo. I tried the door again, snarlin', an' I could feel myself losin' it. I didn't have the time or equipment to pick the lock; I'd just have to apologize an' get Chuck a new doorknob.

One solid kick later, I'd blown the doorknob straight out of the door, shovin' it open an' ignorin' the shouted complaints I heard from down the hall. "Leo—!"

I felt my stomach drop when I saw him. Leo was obviously only on his feet 'cause he physically had no other choice. He was pinned to the door with Karai's katana through his left shoulder—the same damn place as last time, of course, an' there wasn't a doubt in my mind that that bitch had done it on purpose—an' a tanto through his right side above the hip, buried up to the hilt. Blood was streakin' down the door behind him, slowly drippin' towards the floor.

He looked bad, an' he was gettin' pale, starin' at me with his hair hangin' in his eyes, plastered against his forehead with sweat. I darted over to 'im, fisting a hand in the waistband of his jeans to try an' prop him up. "Leo, how're you doin', bro?"

Leo glanced up at me, grippin' the hand I placed on his good shoulder. For all of the blood he'd lost, his eyes an' voice were still clear, even though his face was tight with pain. "I've been better."

"I bet." Leanin' closer to the door, I raised my voice. "Chuck, what's goin' on? Did ya get a hold of Don?"

"I got him," Chuck replied, his voice muffled by the wood. "He said he's stuck in a traffic jam, and he can't get here anytime soon."

"Traffic jam?" The hell was he doin' there? He was supposed to be at April's, or getting ready to meet us—_on foot_, because that stupid Bug of his was one hell of a sore thumb.

"That's all he said. He said not to touch the swords, that it'd only make things worse. I already called an ambulance, and they said they'll be here soon; one's just a couple blocks away after responding to another call nearby."

"Raph." Leo interrupted us, squeezin' my hand convulsively. "You need to go after Ryan. Karai took him."

I glanced back at my brother. "I know, bro, but I can't just leave you here like this. If I miss her an' she comes back, you're all sittin' ducks."

Leo huffed out a short laugh, wincin' when it shifted the sword in his shoulder. "It's not like she can really…do anything worse, Raph. Something's…weird," he breathed shakily. "She's adlibbing; this couldn't have been her plan. She's—

"Out of her damn mind," I hissed. "Don't you make excuses for her."

"I'm not. I was going to say that she's lost it; she never would have taken Ryan if she'd been thinking. It was an impulse, a way to have some insurance." He swallowed hard. "If she'd been in her right mind, she would have made sure she killed me. Unless she…thought this would do it," he mused, glancin' down at himself.

I swallowed, my stomach rollin'. "Shut up. It ain't that bad." I glanced down at his side, tryin' to guess if Karai had hit any organs, but I'd never been an expert at anatomy. It wasn't in the middle of his gut, that was all I could tell—which was good, but that still didn't mean it hadn't nicked somethin'.

"Donatello said that he's calling Mike to go after Ryan," Chuck interjected through the door.

"Mike'll get 'im back," I said firmly, meanin' every word of it. Time was I would've wondered if Mikey could do it, if he could handle the pressure an' act fast enough to make up a plan on the fly, but I had no doubts he could now. "When it comes down to it, that chucklehead knows how to be serious an' get the job done."

Leo grimaced, leanin' his head back against the door. "Chuck…'m sorry about this," he said, his voice tired and strained. "I…you weren't supposed to be involved…and I never thought Ryan would get dragged into it."

"You've got nothing to apologize for," Chuck said firmly, loud even through the door. He was handlin' this pretty damn well. The guy rose in my opinion, and I'd known Mikey thought he was a good guy to know. "You put yourself in danger to try and protect Ryan, even with all your history with Karai."

"It's not as though we're strangers to this," Ryu added dryly.

Leo huffed slightly, and I could feel him sag further in my grip. I braced his good shoulder, tryin' to keep him still and on his feet without hurtin' him any more, and pinched the skin over his collarbone. "Leo? You still with me?"

He nodded tightly. "Still here. Be nice to get these out, though."

"Yeah, no shit. Help's on the way." I searched Leo's face and frowned. He was pretty pale, an' I slid my fingers up to his neck. His pulse was racin'. I glanced down and tried not to swear at the streaks of blood painting the door behind Leo. "I think you're goin' into shock, bro."

"I'm not trying to," he replied faintly. He shook his head, an' I could see him tryin' to pull himself together. "My side, is it…?"

I grimaced. "I don't know, Leo. It…" I dropped a hand down to the tanto, tryin' to measure. Right above the hip, all the way through his side—it'd come through the other side of the door angled, away from the center of Leo's torso, so maybe it hadn't hit anythin', maybe it was just muscle—or maybe I was pullin' wishes outta my ass. Maybe Karai had carved him up inside.

Maybe when I found her I'd gut her with a blunt knife.

"I don't know," I repeated, strugglin' to push the rage down. It wouldn't help Leo—not now, at least, but long-term it'd keep Karai away from him for good—an' it wasn't helpin' me either. "Any blood in your mouth?"

Leo swallowed an' shook his head. "No. S'a good sign, right?" Leo asked, his eyes tight.

No shit it was a good sign. "Right." I swore, pullin' my hand away. "Leo, I just don't know. It went all the way through—we saw the blades on the other side of the door. Both of 'em. But it—it might just be muscle."

He nodded slightly. "Here's hoping," he said unevenly, an' he didn't sound any more optimistic than I was feelin'.

The sound of footsteps poundin' up the stairs hit my ears an' growled. That was it; I didn't care if there were laws about carryin' weapons, I wasn't goin' anywhere without my damn sai anymore. I was pretty damn sure it was the paramedics, 'cause none of our enemies would never be that loud, but I didn't like having my back to the door with anyone comin' up behind me. Still, there was no way in hell I was movin' from in front of Leo.

A pair of EMTs, male an' female, appeared at the door, glancin' around the apartment. The guy saw me and stepped forward. "We received word that a distress call came from this apartment. Was it for you?"

I shook my head. "My brother," I replied, movin' aside a step to reveal Leo.

Both EMTs' eyes went wide. "Holy shit…" the guy breathed. "What the hell happened?"

"He got attacked," I bit out. "Would ya mind helpin' him?"

They motioned me aside, lookin' Leo over an' examinin' the wounds. "He's slipping into hypovolemic shock," the man muttered to his partner. "Heart rate is racing, skin is pale and clammy." He glanced at me. "How long since he got attacked?"

I frowned and tried to think, goin' back to bracing Leo. "No more than…ten minutes? Somethin' like that."

"It's a good thing you didn't remove the swords," the woman said, pullin' out rolls of gauze. "He might have bled out. With the wounds as thin as they are, he hasn't lost as much blood as he could have." She spoke into the radio on her shoulder, callin' for a gurney, an' shook her head. "_Swords_. Now I know I've seen everything." Pullin' out a penlight, she peered into Leo's eyes. "Sir? My name is Sarah, my partner is Mark, and we're here to help. Can you see and hear me alright?"

"Yes," Leo said quietly, wincin' from more than just the light. "Can you just…pull them out?"

Sarah blinked at Leo's words, lookin' surprised. If she was expectin' screamin' or panic, she was lookin' at the wrong people. "Yes, of course. I mean, we'll get you out of here. But we can't just—"

"They went all the way through," I snapped. "Through him an' the door. Unless you wanna make him carry them with him to the hospital, you're gonna have to pull 'em."

She stared at me for a second, then shook her head, her lips tight. "Fine. We're going to prep him properly, but if he's been bleeding as long as you say, it's better sooner than later. Mark, do you think you can…?"

"I'll do it," I said.

Her eyes bugged. "Absolutely not. You don't have any medical training for a situation like this!"

I managed not to laugh; I had more than she thought. "And have you got any damn experience with handlin' a sword? No? Didn't think so. If you aren't careful, you'll screw 'im up more yankin' it out. I at least know what I'm doin'."

"Stop talking about it an' jus'…someone do it," Leo breathed, his voice tight. Sweat was standin' out on his forehead, an' he was blinkin' like he was tryin' to get the world to hold still. "Or I'll do it myself."

Both paramedics looked like they wanted to swear at the suggestion. "Fine. We'll start with his side and get that one out first," Sarah snapped, preppin' her materials. "Let's go. Mark, help me check him, then grab some gauze and prepare pressure bandages. We'll need to do this quickly."

"I've got them," her partner replied. "I'll let them know we need a pint of O-negative, too." He glanced at me. "Unless you know his blood type?"

I grimaced. I had my brothers' blood types memorized, after all the years we'd spent sewin' each other up. "AB positive."

"Got it." He radioed in the request, then glanced back up at me. "Alright, we're going to get these out of your brother."

"We're going to catch hell for letting a civilian do this; but if we're doing this, we're doing it right," Sarah muttered, an' I had to bite my cheek to keep from laughing—civilian, my ass. She worked quickly, hands moving over Leo carefully. "Skin is cool, early stages of shock, but no tremors or convulsions. Pupils are both responsive, pulse is strong but faster than I'd like."

Mark straightened up from checkin' Leo over. "Best guess, I'd say he's lost a little more than an average blood donation, but it's constant and not slowing. Blood from the abdominal wound is bright, not dark, so it doesn't appear to have perforated the intestines or any organs."

Sara nodded and placed her fingers on Leo's wrist, glancin' up at him. "Sir, can you feel the fingers in your left hand?"

Leo nodded his head tightly.

She let out a short breath an' dropped her hand. "Good; combined with the fact that I can still feel a strong pulse, the sword probably missed the brachial artery. Any blood in your mouth? And your side, is there a burning sensation in your gut?"

"No blood," he gasped. He closed his eyes, an' I could see him tryin' to focus. "I can't—" His throat bobbed, an' he rolled his head in frustration. "Raph…"

"He got stabbed, for cryin' out loud," I hissed for him. "Of course it burns."

Sarah's eyes narrowed. "Sir, this is standard procedure; I'm only trying to help. If either of the swords are compressing bleeders, removing them will make him bleed out."

"Swords don't offer that kind of compression," Leo murmured, his voice faint. "If an artery's been cut, a blade isn't thick 'nough to block the bleedin', because the cuts…widen as you move, even breathe. Leaving it in…'s a moot point."

The paramedics both seemed a little unnerved at Leo's knowledge on the matter, but he didn't have time for them to stand around bein' sissies. "Look, you said yourself it missed the artery in his shoulder," I snapped. "He ain't gonna be able to tell if there's any internal damage, but if there is, we need to get him to the damn hospital rather than wastin' time. If he's bleedin' internally, standin' here ain't gonna help. If someone gives you shit about it, direct 'em to me, alright? We aren't plannin' on suin' anyone if that's what you're worried about." I leaned down, catchin' Leo's eye. "Can you relax a little, bro?"

"No," he panted. "But do it anyway."

"Right." I jerked my head at Mark. "Get over here an' hold him up," I ordered, waitin' before I let out a slow breath, then wrapped one hand around the tanto's handle an' braced the other on Leo's side. "You ready?"

He nodded slightly, while Sarah hovered beside me. "We'll need you to move as soon as it's out."

"Yeah, I got that part," I snapped. "Okay, on three. One, two—" I pulled the blade out as smoothly an' quickly as I could, fightin' against the resistance of the door an' tryin' to ignore the wet noise it made as it moved through Leo's side. Leo choked an' bit through his lip as the tanto rasped against his hipbone and then slid out.

He swore softly an' haltingly in Japanese, pantin' heavily and leanin' harder against the door as Sarah quickly piled gauze on the holes in Leo's side, Mark handin' her a pressure bandage.

"One down, sir," Mark said, lookin' queasy. He had to have seen worse by now, bein' a paramedic in New York, but this was prob'ly a first, and there's somethin' _wrong_ about seein' people impaled. "You're doing great."

"Compared to the other people…you've pulled swords out of?" Leo asked wryly, breathin' shallowly.

The guy blinked, then answered Leo's dry smile. "Yeah. This is a common case, I see it at least twice a week," he said sarcastically.

"Oh good, then…'s not just me," Leo responded faintly.

Sarah shook her head. "You're definitely going into shock," she muttered. "Alright, let's get the other one."

I grimaced, knowin' it was gonna be worse, especially if it'd gone through the bone. With all the nerves in the area, Leo'd hardly been able to stand anyone even touchin' his shoulder last time, even weeks after the fact. "Leo?"

He swallowed, his eyes still closed as he pressed his head back against the door. "Just do it," he whispered. His hands were shakin', and he was already paler than he'd been a few minutes ago. I was pretty sure Mark was the only thing keepin' Leo on his feet.

I grabbed the second blade, bracin' myself. "Get your shit ready," I muttered to the paramedics, an' pulled.

The feelin' of the katana scrapin' against the bones in his shoulder was gonna be in my damn nightmares for weeks. I didn't think it went through his shoulder blade, or I doubted I'd've been able to get it out so easily, but it probably screwed somethin' up. Leo made a noise deep in his throat an' dropped as soon as the sword was out, and I hitched my shoulder under his chest, droppin' the sword and tryin' to find a way to hold him that wasn't gonna hurt.

Mark and Sarah bundled Leo's shoulder up, and two more guys with a gurney hustled in a second later. As they worked to strap Leo in, Mark glanced at me. "We'll be heading out in a couple minutes. Do you want to ride with him in the ambulance? It'll be a tight fit—"

"I'm goin' with him," I said firmly. "Just gimme a sec." I had to swallow hard before I could open the door, tryin' to ignore the smears of blood down the front of it. I jerked the door open, lettin' Chuck an' Ryu out, an' they both looked a little queasy when they saw Leo. "Would you mind waitin' here?" I asked quietly. "We can't risk callin' Mikey to let him know where we're goin', but he'll bring Ryan back here when he gets him, an' I know they'll both want to know what happened."

Chuck hesitated, glancin' at Leo, then nodded. "Keep us updated," he requested, handin' my cell back to me. "We'll be there as soon as we can."

"You got it. Tell Mikey—" I looked at Leo on the gurney. He was starin' back at me, his eyes hard even though they kept flutterin' shut. I rolled my eyes at him, but I couldn't pretend I wasn't a little relieved; at least he was still coherent enough to try to get me to lie about how hurt he was. "Tell him Leo's hurt, but he's had worse, an' that I went with him to the hospital." I hesitated, glancin' down at the door an' the carpet, stained with blood. "Don't…don't let 'im come in here, alright? He doesn't need to see this."

"No problem," Ryu replied, lookin' tired as he glanced around. "I don't exactly want to stay in here either." He looked up at me, switchin' to Japanese for a second. "Don't leave Leonardo alone; if Karai comes looking for him…"

"Ya ain't tellin' me anythin' I don't already know," I bit out. "We'll be with him, trust me." As the EMTs carried Leo out of the apartment, I caught sight of the cops arrivin' and leaned closer to Chuck. "Let me know what you tell the police so we can keep our stories straight," I muttered quietly. "They're your people, so they'll trust you."

Chuck smiled grimly. "The truth is all we'll need in this case; there's too much against Karai to _not_ throw her in jail. Given that we didn't see anything…" He shrugged. "She followed Leo here, threatened Ryan, attacked Leo, and left, taking Ryan with her. If they ask about motive, well, we only know you through Mike; it's not like you've told us your life story. They'll understand, given the situation, if I didn't take the time to ask you about it. That will leave all the questions about her motives up to you."

I nodded. "Thanks. Feel free to stonewall 'em as much as you want." There was a lot ridin' on this, an' we had to be damn careful or everythin' might come out. "I've got no clue what Karai will say, if she'll even admit to anythin' when we catch up with her, but as long as _we_ all have the same story, I don't think it'll matter much if hers is different. I'll let you know what we end up goin' with." I nodded to both of them. "Thanks. I mean it; I appreciate what you're doin' for us. This was never—" I looked at the blood, their broken door, the mess in their livin' room. "This was never s'posed to happen. We were s'posed to be here an' gone so it _wouldn't_ happen."

They both shook their heads. "Mike most likely saved Ryan's life weeks ago, so no matter what's happened since then, I'm glad to know all of you for that alone," Chuck replied. "Now get going or the ambulance is going to leave without you."

"Have Mikey give me a call when he gets here, an' I'll let you know where they've taken Leo," I promised, already out the door. I dodged a couple cops an' a few nosy neighbors, catchin' up with the EMTs just as they were loadin' Leo into the back of the ambulance. I boosted myself in and took the seat Sarah pointed at tersely, tryin' not to feel claustrophobic. Leo was starin' at the underside of the roof, either tryin' to distract himself from the pain or figure out where the hell everything went wrong, an' I reached out to grab his free hand to ground him. He rolled his head to the side to stare at me.

"You're not gonna talk me out of killin' her this time," I told him lowly in Japanese. "Not this time."

Leo held my gaze. "I know."

That was as good as permission, if I needed any. "Just so long as you know."

He huffed a short, pained breath. "Of course, that's only if…Mikey doesn't beat you to it."

I almost laughed, figurin' Leo was tryin' to help me reel myself back in, but I caught sight of the bleak look in Leo's eyes. "You really believe that."

"I believe it's…a possibility," Leo murmured just before Sarah slipped an oxygen mask over his face. "He seems to be picking up some of…my worst habits. Apparently I'm a—bad influence in concentrated doses."

"I coulda told you that," I said gently, ignorin' Sarah's obvious curiosity about what we were sayin' an' sittin' back to give Leo a break an' think.

The thought of Mikey goin' after anyone the way I would was…maybe not as farfetched now as it might've been a while ago. We all knew he had the skill to take anyone down—he'd proved that in the grudge match with Kluh—but the temperament had never been there. Now, though…maybe. He'd been the first one to say we oughta take the first to Karai this time, an' there were a couple moments when it almost could have been Leo talkin' through Mikey's mouth for how protective Mikey had sounded; he'd jumped down Leo's throat for that stupid "I'll go fight her alone" plan of his before I could even open my mouth.

An' see where that had gotten us, when Leo agreed to hang up that option an' go another route. It looked like it was still gonna come down to one of us droppin' her personally, an' if I couldn't be the one to do it, well…

Mikey might not have my mean streak, but he had a creative side, an' if he beat me to her, I was lookin' forward to seein' just how he might decide to make Karai pay.

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**A/N**: As always, reviews/concrit are loved and welcome. If anyone has any concerns about the violence level, i.e. if you think this story needs to be raised from T to M, please let me know.


	21. Chapter 21

_**Disclaimer**: see previous chapters._

Oh my gosh, an update that's actually on time! (Minus a couple hours.) Not a lot I can say about this one without giving things away, but get ready for a whole lot of Mikey and action and please don't hurt me for this not being longer; cutting it where I did meant I have most of the material for the next chapter. That next chapter is already about 98% written, so it just needs some editing and finishing, and it'll probably be up in a week or two.

Special thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: ** or-chan, Nashara, teenagejustice, cuzimaw3some317, Hily, Rika24, KooKoo 4 Kaiba, Yolinanimai, thehappystalkerball, Megan, Kallasilya, LazyPanther, mcmario, Karlina101, J-Kid, Technophobia678, plummy-kins, Guest, **and **BraveChicken**. You guys never fail to make all the time and editing worth it, and I usually smile my way through every review…or laugh, in the case of all of you telling me how much you love/hate crazy!Karai. You guys are all awesome. :)

No real warnings on this chapter, other than some language and angst (the latter of which you really ought to be used to from me by now).

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**Michelangelo**

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I've always thought it's pretty rude, how life waits until you're nice and relaxed and totally not suspecting anything, or just recovering from the last thing going nuclear, and then suddenly jumps up and is all like "bam! Here's a kick in the face, just for you!"

Seriously, not even Raph is that rude. But life? Yeah. All the time.

I was hunkered down in the basement over at April's place after our War Council, working on the Foot stencil for Raph and trying not to worry. Don had taken off at the same time as Leo and Raph, running down to the Geek Squad shop for some gadget or another that he said he needed for our trip to Foot HQ—all I caught was something about signal interference and something else about system overrides, so I knew it was important and not much else. He expected to be back in about 15 minutes, which was about how long it'd take for Raph and Leo to get to Chuck and Ryu's place, so I had to be sure I was done and ready to go as soon as he got back. Fortunately, I can be awesome under pressure, after the initial and totally understandable flailing, so (thankfully for my fingers) I was already done with cutting out the stencil by the time my phone rang right beside my elbow. "This is mission control," I answered, hoping it wasn't gonna be something going wrong already.

"Mikey?"

That was when I knew it was gonna be one of those face-kicked-by-life days, because Donnie had that anxious, "get ready for the bad news" tone of voice going on. I sat up. "Donnie? What's wrong?"

"Are you still at April's?"

"Yeah, but I'm done with the stencil, so I can be gone and on my way to meet you wherever in a couple minutes." I started grabbing all my stuff, then paused to glance at the clock; it was creeping towards 20 minutes since Don had left, and when he wasn't working in his lab and forgetting everything else, Don was always good about punctuality. "Where are _you_? What's wrong?"

Don sighed shakily, and I heard someone honk over the phone. "I'm stuck in a traffic jam. I don't know what caused it, an accident or what, but I'm not going anywhere fast. Chuck just called me, and Karai…she found Leo and Raph. She must have seen Leo and followed them, or the Foot Tech were already out and trailing Leo and called her. Either way, she attacked them and kidnapped Ryan; she's taking him back to Foot HQ, most likely. We need you to go after him."

I flew out of my seat. "What?! Are they okay? Is Ryan okay?"

"I think Ryan's alright. Raph said he didn't think he was hurt."

"Wait, why aren't Raph and Leo going after him? They can't be worried about following the plan now."

There was one of those really bad pauses, the kind that mean there's a whole lot more going on than anyone was gonna talk about, before Don answered. "He and Leo are…otherwise occupied."

That meant something had gone wrong in a big way. I grabbed my 'chucks off the table and tried to keep my hands steady, but I'd never done many solo missions, especially not any that involved breaking into Foot HQ. If any of us were gonna do that, it should've been Leo, who knew every possible method to ninja his way into that place, and probably spent his evenings thinking of new ones. Instead, it was me, who was admittedly not as—how did Donnie put it? Oh yeah—not as 'plan-oriented' as Leo was.

But you know what? There's a lot to be said for improvisation, if you ask me. And a part of me was oddly—happy. Time was I wouldn't have been called for this, even if I was the logical or best choice. My bros would have found a way out of whatever they were doing and gone instead or gone with me. But now…now they were counting on me, and they trusted that I'd deliver.

It meant a lot. I wanted to call up Sensei and tell him about it, but that would have to wait. I shook it off and put my game face on. "They're okay, though, right?" I ground to a halt at the silence on the other end of the phone, my stomach crunching into a knot. "Right?"

"Mikey—"

"Don, if you try and say you don't want to distract me by telling me and making me worry, I _will_ punch you the next time I see you," I promised quietly. "You know it doesn't work like that."

Don sighed. "Raph's fine," he said finally. "But Karai…Karai stabbed Leo."

I felt cold. That could mean so much. "Where?" I asked, my throat so tight I could barely get the word out.

"Same place as last time, and—in the side."

My stomach disappeared into my toes and I dropped back onto my chair. "A gut wound?" I asked faintly. They were something we had grown up being warned about; there were lots of places to strike someone to disable them without killing them, Master Splinter said, even for bladed weapons, but the abdomen wasn't one of those places. If Karai had gotten Leo in the stomach…if she'd gotten him there, I might be going on a vengeance trip, not just a rescue mission.

I really didn't want to be going on a vengeance trip. "How bad is it?"

"I don't know, Mikey. Raph said it's close, in Leo's side above the hip. It went all the way through. We'll…we'll find out when Leo gets to the hospital. He's on his way there now."

"How—how bad could it be?"

I could hear Don swallow over the phone. "If it's too far in toward the middle of his stomach, it could have perforated his intestines," he said softly. "If it's much higher than right above the hipbone, it could have pierced his kidney. The infection from either of those could be…bad. If we're lucky, though, it's just muscle. There's…there's a cushion of just a few inches, and if it's as low as Raph says, it might have hit just that safe area."

Oh man, this was so bad. I wanted to just run to the hospital, but Ryan— "But he's alive?"

"He was alive and conscious when I hung up with them. He'd been bleeding for a while because he was—pinned to the door, because of the swords, and Raph and the others were trapped behind that door," Don said hurriedly, stumbling over the words as he tried to soften the blow. "Raph had to go out the fire escape to get back in the apartment, but there were paramedics there when Chuck hung up. And Raph rode with Leo to the hospital."

I closed my eyes, pressing a fist against my forehead and trying to think past the little brother voice freaking out in my head. Leo was alive, and he would hang on. Leo didn't know how to quit; he'd survived the ambush years ago and getting stabbed the last time—he could make it through this too. And Raph was with him, so he'd be safe. Nothing and no one else would get to Leo, because Raph could and would kill anyone who tried, armed or not. And that was just on a normal day; if Leo had been hurt, Raph would be out for blood from anyone who even looked at Leo wrong. Leo was as safe as he could be. And he wasn't going into meatball surgery in a sewer or an old water treatment plant; he was going to a real hospital. They saved people from worse than a couple sword wounds every day, right?

Right.

"Mikey?"

I let out a breath, pushing Leo out of my mind. Ryan. He was in trouble because of us, and I was his best bet—and his only one right now. I could—and would, that wasn't even up in the air—freak out later. "Yeah. Yeah, okay." No, not okay, it was anything _but_ okay, but I had to try and make it okay anyway. "I can leave right now, Don. Wait, crap. Are the cops going after Ryan?"

Don groaned. "Probably. I can't believe I didn't even think to ask, it's just—"

I nodded even though Don couldn't see it. "It's just that cops never factored into our plans before, I know. Should I still go?"

"…Yeah, you should. The cops were there with the paramedics, so they'll be getting statements from Chuck and Ryu, and then the cops will probably head for Foot HQ as soon as they leave the apartment, but you'll still be able to get there faster, and I don't want Ryan alone with Karai any longer than he has to be."

"That makes two of us. How should I play it?"

Don's end of the line went silent for a minute, and I could picture him chewing on his lip. "I want to say that the cops need to find Ryan there, because it'll give them more to take Karai down with, but they already have two eyewitness accounts of her kidnapping him, which should be enough."

"Plus there's no guarantee that they'd be able to find Ryan," I said, my stomach dropping at the thought. "Karai has more than a few rooms in the building that you can't exactly get to by the regular elevator."

"Also an issue," Don agreed. "The cops are going to want to talk to Ryan too, whether they rescue him or you do, which means he can't see you; that's more mess that we can't explain if he tells the cops you beat them to the punch and broke into a private business to rescue him. And we don't want him to have to lie for us, assuming he'd even be any good at it. We're going to have enough lies to come up with trying to explain why Karai went after Leo in the first place, we don't need anything else drawing attention to us."

I bounced on my toes, trying to loosen up and think. "He doesn't have to know it's me," I pointed out. "If I'm in a Foot uniform—wait, crap, Leo and Raph were gonna pick those up—"

"No, no, that could work," Don interjected quickly. "When Chuck called to tell me what happened, I asked if he'd leave one of the uniforms out on their fire escape, since I knew you'd have to go after Ryan alone. There should be one waiting for you."

"Cool. Okay, so I'm in uniform, and as long as I don't talk, or change my voice, Ryan won't know it's me. I can just grab him from wherever, and drop him in the lobby or on the sidewalk or whatever. If the cops are booking it like you say they will be, they should find him soon after, or they'll be there as soon as he clears the building." It sounded doable to me. Maybe. With a whole lotta luck. "I'll just find another way out and pull a Clark Kent, then come running up to take charge of Ryan and get us both to the hospital."

"I…yeah, I think—I think that's as good as it'll get," Don said, his tone uneasy.

"Today's the day of 'take what we can get,' Donnie. Anything else I need to know?"

"Yes, don't head out yet. There are a few things I want you to grab first. Is my bag nearby?"

I glanced around. "It's upstairs, I think, April said she wanted to check over what you had and add a few more things." I took the stairs two at a time, doing a complicated wave at Casey and April that I hope they understood as "I need that bag" and "Very Important Phone Call, I'll fill you in later." April backed up from where she had Don's bag laid out on the table and waved me toward it, and I poked it carefully. I kind of figured that if you took the back off of a computer and shook all the important bits into a bag, that's what the mess in Don's duffel bag would look like. "What am I looking for? And please be very, very specific."

"Okay. There's a small case in there, metal, should be in a side pocket of its own. When you find that—"

Side pocket one—empty. Side pocket two— "Found it."

"Good. There should be some triangular devices inside. They'll be the size of your palm, and about an inch or two thick."

I flipped open the box to find what Donnie was talking about, and frowned. There were three of the funky triangles stacked on top of each other. They looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't remember why. "Dude, these look like coasters. Shiny, metallic, oddly-shaped coasters. With buttons."

"Buttons which you are not to touch," Don said quickly. Poke a couple buttons on a few delicate machines and you never live it down. "And they're better than coasters, trust me. How many are in there?"

"Um, three."

"Might as well take the whole case, then."

I set the case down by my 'chucks. "What am I looking for now?"

"Okay. The pocket on the opposite side of the bag from where you found the case, there should be a padded CD holder with a few discs in it. Flip through them and read me what each says on the front."

I nabbed the holder and wrestled it open, squinting at Don's chicken-scratch on the front. "Okay. One says…sewer schematics. The next one is TH, I think? The next one's blank…so is the one after that, next one says human testing results—I hope those are just about us, bro, but either way it's not helping your mad scientist rep—another blank one, one that just says worm 17, and another one labeled…Iceman? Really? And uh…" I flipped through it again. "And that's it, just those eight. What the heck does TH stand for, by the way?"

"Trojan Horse."

"Trojan Horse? Come on, Donnie, you couldn't be any more creative than that?"

"It's perfectly fitting," Don retorted, sounding offended. "Also, shut up. Look, just take the one labeled Iceman out of the holder and put it in an individual case; that's the only one you'll need to take with you."

"Anything else?"

Another horn sounded through the phone, and Don said something sharp under his breath. "Nothing I can think of. Check through the bag, though, and see if there's anything you want to take or think you'll need."

I pawed through it, nabbing Don's tricked out version of a Swiss army knife and a lock-pick set. I'd done more with less, and it was as much as I could carry without it getting in the way. "Got it. Now am I gonna get any hints about what I'm packing?"

"The 'coasters' are explosives."

I froze in the middle of the living room. "I'm running around with bombs?" I squeaked, too freaked out to scream as loud as I'd wanted. April and Casey stared at me, wide-eyed.

"Don't worry, they're very stable; they have to be properly activated to explode," Don said calmly, which just further proved that the mad scientist part of his brain had taken over, and we were all doomed. "They're the ones I used when we had to rescue Leo from Winters' tower, and they're just for insurance. We really need you to not be noticed, but I figure it's better to have something you can use for a distraction or to create a way out, just in case."

"Right. You know I'm all for blowing things up, but if they aren't so delicate that I'll set them off by sneezing, how _do_ I use them?" I poked at the box gingerly, lifting the lid to check out the pocket-sized bombs I was supposed to run around with.

"There's a sequence to how you arm it; just hit each button once, going clockwise, starting from the top. After you enter the sequence, get away from it."

"No, I was gonna make sure I was close enough to watch."

Don sighed at the sarcasm. "Good. Now, remember this, _don't_ hit the buttons counterclockwise. And I mean _don't_, Michelangelo, do you understand? This isn't one of those 'I'm just kidding' things."

"Why?"

Don sighed again. "You know, I am waiting for that one, special day when you all just _listen_ to me when I tell you to do something instead of wasting time asking why I gave you instructions about the inventions that I have created and thus know all about."

"Today's not that day, Donnie," I informed him, starting to shove things into my pockets. "_Why_?"

"Activating them clockwise produces a controlled explosion, using only half the combustible materials inside; activating them counterclockwise uses all of the materials."

"Big boom?" I asked.

"Really big boom," Donnie confirmed. "As in, I might have collapsed an old warehouse when I tried one once. Hypothetically."

I grinned. Don built the _best_ toys. "Donnie, you are awesome and scary and I love you."

"Thanks, Mikey. Are you ready to head out?"

"Pretty much. Why?"

"I have a few more instructions, but if you have everything you need, just head to Chuck and Ryu's; I can fill you in on the way," Don said.

April was waving at me insistently, obviously wanting to know what the shell was going on. "Kay. Just give me a minute to get April and Casey up to speed."

"Dude, what is going on?" Casey demanded as soon as I pulled the phone away from my ear. "What happened?"

"Things went south," I said quickly. "Long story short, Karai somehow followed Leo and Raph to Chuck's place, and—Leo's hurt." April put a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide, while Casey swore and tugged her into his arms. "He's alri—okay, not alright, but as okay as can be expected. Raph's with him, they're heading to the hospital. But Karai kidnapped Ryan, the kid I helped, and Donnie's stuck in traffic, so I've got to go after him. And I've got to leave now, so just…give Raph a call in a little bit, or Don, find out what hospital they took Leo to, and save me a seat in the waiting room."

April pulled away from Casey to hug me hard enough to make me squeak. "You be careful, Mikey," she ordered, the words echoed by the way Casey squeezed my shoulder. "Be careful and come back safe."

"I'll do my best," I promised, trying to grin. I grabbed my 'chucks, sticking them in my waistband at the small of my back and twitching my shirt over them, then waved as I bolted for the door. It was a few blocks to Chuck's place, and more to Foot HQ, so I had to book it. "'Kay, I'm back, Donnie. April and Casey know what's going on."

"Good. Okay, now this is even more important than the instructions for the bombs, Mikey," Don said quickly. "Listen carefully: if you get a chance—and by that I mean try really hard to _make_ a chance—I need you to get that CD into a computer somewhere in the building. Don't take any risks that you can't afford, but if you can manage it, it would be really great."

I nodded. "Tell me what to do and I'll do my best, bro."

"Okay. Put it in whatever CD drive you can find, then open it up on the computer. There will be an icon on the CD that says 'cordyceps'. Click on that, and a box will come up asking you if you want to install or run the program; click on run, and that's all you need to do. You'll know it's done when the computer screen freezes. Then just take the CD out. Have you got that?"

"Got it. Put the CD in, run the 'cord' thing, then take the CD out. Totally doable."

"That's it." Don's grin was obvious even through the phone. "And before you ask, I'll tell you what that does. It's my own variation on some of the strongest malware that exists today. It targets the company server, so it can spread to any computer hooked into the building's network, and it overrides all functionalities, tricking them into thinking the admin is logging in and blocking all other access attempts. Then it freezes the system."

I dodged a guy on a bike and ran across another intersection. "Hence the Iceman name. You're such a nerd, Donnie. Anyway, that's helpful how?"

"Because it'll block any attempts to delete files or change the system. If Karai's already had her people wipe the computers, it won't do much, but on the off chance that she hasn't, it'll make it impossible for her to get rid of incriminating documents. Anything she has on file will be able to be accessed, so if we can give the cops an excuse to get in there—"

"Like an explosion or a 911 call," I interrupted.

"—like an explosion or a 911 call, then everything they can find is fair game," he agreed. "And since it's a program, a reset or reboot of the system would close the program and everything would be accessible again. Since you're just running the program, not installing it, there won't be any proof of the program for the cops to find after they restart things."

"Dude, this is what you've been doing in your free time?"

"Among other things," Don said casually. "Anyway, if you get that in there, the police, or whoever they send, will have complete access to her files, and knowing Karai, they'll find more than enough to bury her. They would still have to get past Karai's security and passwords on their own, but they ought to be able to handle that."

"Donnie, you are a scary little nerd, have I ever told you that?" I asked breathlessly. "Impressive, but scary. And if I manage to pull this off, it counts as your Christmas present for the year, just so you know."

"Mikey, it can count for my birthday _and_ Christmas if you manage to pull this off."

"Done and done," I replied, hopping from foot to foot before darting across the street, Chuck and Ryu's apartment building looming up just a block ahead of me. "I gotta go, bro; I'm gonna need my hands free and my spare breath too. I'll give you a call as soon as I can. The Foot uniform is on the fire escape, right?"

"Right. Good luck, Mikey," Don said seriously, his voice tight over the phone.

I forced a grin into my voice. "Pssh, who needs luck? I'm the Battle Nexus Champion, remember? Just…get to the hospital and keep an eye on Leo, and try to keep Raph from killing anyone, okay?"

"I will. I'm still waiting to hear from Raph about where they've taken Leo, so when you get Ryan back, call me. I think Chuck and Ryu wanted you to head back to their place first so they could see Ryan, but if it's closer, you two might as well just head over to the hospital instead so we can all meet up there. If the traffic doesn't clear up soon, I'll just find someplace to park the car and go there myself on foot."

"Sounds good. And Don? If Leo…if it ends up being bad…" I grit my teeth, giving up on trying not to sound wrecked. I shouldn't have to be in a position to say this; our lives shouldn't be like this anymore. "Don't _not_ call me if there's a chance I can make it there in time. And if I can't, don't—don't let him go without telling him—"

"Mikey—"

"Shut up and let me finish, alright?" I chewed on my lip and blurted the rest out. "Don't let him go without telling him I said goodbye, okay?"

"I won't, Mikey. If it comes to that, I'll tell him. But it won't," Don said harshly, his own voice sound strained and unsteady. "So just—get Ryan so you can help me keep Leo from trying to sign himself out as soon as he wakes up, alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm going right now. Over and out." I flipped my phone off, sticking it in my pocket and grinding the heels of my hands into my eyes. I had to say what I did to Don; I wasn't trying to jinx anything, but just in case—just in case, I wasn't leaving anything up to chance. But even thinking it had sent all that little brother fear slamming through my brain again, and I couldn't—I just couldn't think about Leo, not now. I'd never be able to move if I thought about him pinned to a door or in an ambulance or in surgery. Ryan. Ryan was what I had to focus on, Ryan and getting into Foot HQ, and then getting us both out again without dying. The sooner I got him out, the sooner I could go to Leo. So for now…for now I had to forget about Leo completely.

I scrubbed my hands down my face and shut the little brother part of my brain up, cueing up the ninja part. I knew how to function and fight on my own, even if I didn't like it as much as fighting with my bros. I'd gone up against Kluh, and I'd come up with the idea that saved the day in the alternate universe that Ultimate Draco banished me to, even as the one turtle that didn't have superpowers. This was totally something I could handle.

The little walking person finally lit up on the crosswalk sign, and I made my way through the crowd, not even caring if I bumped into a few people. Chuck's apartment building was…uh oh. I ducked into the alley, swearing a little and pretending to check my phone; Don had forgotten to mention the fact that the cops were still out in front of the building, which complicated things a bit. I couldn't yank the fire escape ladder down, because they'd hear it no problem; no one ever took care of those things, so they shrieked like the female leads in horror movies whenever you tried to pull one down. So it looked like I'd be doing the parkour thing, which wouldn't be hard at all—if it was any time other than in the middle of a Saturday afternoon in New York.

Whatever, it didn't matter. If anyone saw me, I could just play it like a kid trying to sneak out when his parents weren't watching; I didn't have time to worry. I put my phone away, scoping out the alley quickly. Without the ladder as an option, my best bet would be to jump off the top of the dumpster a few feet underneath the fire escape. It'd be obvious, but I just had to be fast; once I got above eye level I'd be safer, because people pretty much never look up unless they're told to.

I heard a commotion out on the street, and figured it must be the cops coming out, the way everyone paused or slowed down to stare. Knowing that would be my best chance, I ran for the dumpster, jumping up and then off of it to grab the fire escape ladder and pull myself up. I made it to the first landing without anyone yelling or anything, and a quick glance over my shoulder showed that no one was even looking.

It took just a minute to make it up to the uniform, which looked like it would probably fit—spandex and all, it would at least stretch a bit—and then head back down. There was the question of when to change, and how I was even going to get into Foot HQ, but I could figure that out when I got there. For now, I just had to get there. I bundled the uniform up under my arm, figuring anyone who bothered to look would see it as a hoodie or a trash bag, and pulled out my phone again.

Within another few seconds, I was one of a couple thousand people out on the sidewalks, just texting and walking along.

I kept it slow, ambling down the sidewalk for a block or so, just in case anyone had seen me come out of the alley. No one sent up any alarms, though, so I put my phone away and broke into a jog. I made it to Foot HQ in less than ten minutes, and ducked off the sidewalk into a nearby alley two buildings away from Karai's place. There had to be some kind of ground entrance, even for the Foot, or at least some kind of back-alley service entrance for dropping off trash; that was going to be my best bet. I just needed some space to scope it out from a distance, and to get changed. I managed to find a fairly secluded alcove between a wall and a dumpster, and kept an eye out for random citizens and not-so-random Foot ninja, though luckily I didn't see either.

Fact: trying to put on a giant honking unitard in a skeezy New York alley is all sorts of not fun. Whoever had had the uniform before me was basically my size and everything, but shell, I was still new to the whole clothes thing; I had only just mastered tying a tie and dealing with jeans. Full-body spandex jumpsuits were still way beyond my skill set.

Those unitard things are surprisingly comfy, though, except for their tendency to bunch in unmentionable places.

I finally got it on and shoved my clothes onto a nearby fire escape in hopes that I'd be able to come back and get them; if not, I was gonna have to take the sewers back to our place for a new outfit. It took about a minute of patting myself down to find what passed for pockets on the uniform, and I stuck Don's bombs and virus CD in there and hoped no one would notice the fact that I looked like I had tumors on my hips.

Showtime.

I slipped up to the building, trying to stay out of sight of the sidewalks, and in what was probably going to be my only luck for the day, the door opened before I got there. I ducked behind a wall, watching as Chaplain came running out, shoving open the nearby dumpster and dropping an armful of papers inside. I waited for him to head back inside and slipped in behind him; he was already running around the corner, muttering about files, and didn't even notice. I was willing to bet Karai had him on clean-up duty, and made a mental note to tip off the cops to check that dumpster.

The halls were eerily quiet. I straightened up and tried to look like I belonged—and tried really hard to not breathe through my nose; the inside of my mask reeked of wasabi and cigarette smoke. It looked like the building was actually split in half, so none of the friendly little civilians noticed the ninjas running around here in the back; it was crafty, I had to give Karai that much credit—or the Shredder, I guess. I trotted down the hall in the direction Chaplain had gone to find a bank of elevators and blanked on the next step. No one was on this floor, which was both good and bad; good because I wouldn't get caught, but bad because without someone to con into thinking I was a Foot soldier, I had no way of finding Karai or Ryan. I finally called up one of the elevators, figuring that going up was a place to start. I needed to find either another Foot soldier or a surveillance room. I was starting to really understand why Leo liked plans for this kind of thing so much, because trying to do this blind, with no idea where I was going or what the building was like? Sort of terrifying.

I just about crapped myself when my elevator started going up. I hadn't picked a floor, which meant someone else was calling up the elevator, which meant I was _screwed_.

The elevator stopped on the fourth floor, and half a dozen Foot and Foot Tech piled in. I nodded to them, trying not to freak out; my instincts were screaming at me, that I was trapped and outnumbered and did I mention trapped? No one spoke, and I could feel the sweat dripping down my spine as the elevator kept creeping upwards. It finally stopped at twelve, and I tried to swallow a sigh as they all filed out. One noticed me, stopping mid-step to hold the door opened. "Aren't you coming? This is our floor."

Oh shit, oh shit, what was I supposed to say? "No, it's not."

The guy shifted to face me after he glanced down the hall, where I could see a huge crowd of Foot filing into a room. If this guy thought I was acting suspicious…if he called the other fifty Foot ninja that were just down the hall…I'd never felt so sickeningly outnumbered and terrified before. Even when we'd been attacked in April's shop, I at least hadn't been alone. "It's everyone's floor. The mistress has ordered the clan to gather here."

Crap, how was I supposed to find Ryan if all the Foot ninja were supposed to be here? I needed an excuse for being on other floors. Excuse, excuse…

"I'm under orders to assist Chaplain in cleaning out his lab."

If I survived this, I was going to write a freaking sonnet to my own ability to bullshit, because it was _legendary_.

The guy glanced down the hall again, obviously distracted and wanting to join the rest of the evil lemming herd. "I thought he was finished with that; his section of the labs has already been cleared."

Shiiit… "He's finished, but apparently he dumped everything out back. If the police find even a fraction of what's in there…" I shook my head dramatically.

"_Baka_," the guy said in agreement, making a noise of disgust. "You'd better be quick about it."

"If you'll stop holding me up, I will be."

He stepped back and snorted at me as he headed down the hall. I stabbed the button for the fifth floor and sagged against the wall as the door closed. Holy crap. This was going so wrong so fast.

I stumbled out of the elevator as soon as it opened, and I'd only made it a few feet when half a dozen Footies came flying down the hallway. Oh shit, not again—

They ran right past me for the elevator. I was totally gonna have a heart attack before this was over.

I nabbed the last Foot soldier to run past and lowered my voice, thinking Raph-y thoughts as I growled at the guy. "What's going on? First I'm recalled from the eastern warehouses, and then I find everyone here in a panic."

"The mistress has returned from hunting the turtles," the flunkie replied, shaking his arm loose. "She…brought a child with her, apparently."

I cocked my head to the side, trying to look confused. "A child? What use could she have for a child?"

"Who knows what it is this week," the guy muttered sullenly. "Regardless, she summoned everyone. We are leaving both this building and this city behind."

Karai was making a run for it. She must have realized how badly she'd screwed up by kidnapping Ryan and attacking Leo and Raph in the middle of an apartment building, and now she was booking it. How was I supposed to get to her in time if she was leaving? "And I take it you're alerting everyone? Which floors have you been to?"

"All but those below us."

I might have to clear the lower ones out just to be sure I was alone…and maybe one of them would have a surveillance room. "Which ones do you want me to take?"

"Take the rest," the guy ordered brusquely, apparently glad to have someone else to boss around. "And stop by the dungeons too; the ones guarding the child should come as well. Everyone is to meet in the main training room to arrange transport."

"Have you gotten the surveillance room already?" I asked carefully. I was pushing it, but if I was lucky, the guy would just think I was being either stupid or picky.

"Of course, you idiot." Okay, apparently this dude just thought I was a moron. "Where do you think we're coming from?"

Score! I straightened up, trying to look offended. "Watch your attitude," I retorted. "I merely assumed Mistress Karai would still want some to remain on watch."

"You assumed wrong," the guy snapped back at me. "Stop wasting time and get going."

_Man_, I hoped I'd kicked this guy in the teeth at some point or another in the past; if I hadn't, I was going to fix that, soon.

"Taki, hurry it up; if our squad is last because of your tardiness, it will go ill for you," one of the guys snarled from the elevator.

I waited for the guy to pile into the elevator with the others, watching the numbers light up and stop on the twelfth floor before I took off down the hall, searching for the surveillance room. If this floor and all the other floors above this were clear, then as long as I stayed off the floors below me, I pretty much had free reign of the place. Cha-ching!

It took three doors before I stumbled onto a room full of computers and video screens, all showing various hallways in the building. I scanned all of them, relieved to see that all the hallways were empty, except for the twelfth floor; as much as the Foot sucked at everything else, at least they were speedy when it came to herding together.

I slid into a computer chair, pulling the CD case with Don's super-virus on it out of my uniform and popping the CD into the hard drive. The computer started whirring, the sound deafening as I waited impatiently. Geez, could the stupid thing take any—

"What are you still doing here?"

I jumped about a foot in the air (no pun intended) and whirled around to see yet another Foot standing in the doorway.

Yeah, floor totally to myself, surveillance room was totally cleared. Taki, whoever he was, obviously sucked at his job. "I wanted to make sure that everyone has already assembled as ordered," I blurted out, waving a hand at the screens next to me. Fall for it, fall for it…

The guy shook his head. "Worry about yourself, _baka_; it'd be smarter. Unless you hope to impress Mistress Karai with your thoroughness?"

Judging by the sneer in the guy's voice, watching out for your buddies wasn't thought of too highly in the Foot. Big surprise.

"I was ordered to check on those in the lower levels, and I'm not going to waste my time checking each floor on foot if I can do so from here first," I snapped. I saw the prompt box for the CD pop up on the screen and tried not to panic. I needed to get it running, but I couldn't let this guy see what I was doing…I pushed my chair back from the computer, heading for the door. "Come on."

The guy shoved me back. "You'll not get there before me, _aho_," he snarled, moving out the door.

Another guy who needed a good fist up his nose. I met the most charming people.

I followed the guy out into the hallway, glancing behind me. There was no one else on the floor.

Perfect.

I stepped up behind Jerk Face and snapped a blow against his neck, then another against his temple. His legs folded up and he collapsed onto the floor without even a sound. I grabbed him under the arms and dragged him back into the surveillance room, ditching him in the corner and darting back to the computer. I had to get moving; the longer I was here, the more time I wasted, the greater the chance something else would go wrong, and I'd hit my quota for near misses. My heart was already thundering in my throat, and according to action-movie rules, someone finding you generally meant you were one to five minutes away from everything going pear-shaped; because even if you got the guy, he _always_ had someone waiting for him…someone who would inevitably come looking for him.

I blazed through Donnie's instructions, twitching at every beeping noise the computer made. The screen finally spazzed a few times and froze, and I jabbed at the eject button furiously, waiting for the computer to spit the CD out. It finally did and I shoved it back into its case and dumped both back down the front of my uniform. I darted out into the hallway, then ran down two flights of stairs before sneaking onto the elevator and riding it down to the lowest level. When the doors opened to show a bunch of bar-lined cells, I wasn't too surprised.

Basement equals dungeons. It was one of the ways real life was always like the movies.

Stepping into the hall, I glanced around, trying to scope things out without looking too obvious. The whole floor was lined with cells, and most of them were filled; there had to be at least two or three dozen people shoved in cages. Two Footies were standing a few yards down and I strode over to them, hiding a sigh of relief at seeing Ryan unharmed in the cell behind them and reminding myself to keep my voice low and gravelly. "_You!_ What are you still doing here? Everyone is to report to the twelfth floor; the mistress has ordered the abandonment of the building," I rapped out, trying to ignore the bad taste in my mouth from referring to Karai like that.

The two of them glanced at each other, then back at me. "But we were ordered to stay with the child."

"There are new orders," I snapped, bluffing it out. I was glad I'd run into Jerk Number One, 'cause it meant I had a real name to use to try and convince them. "Taki and his squad were already heading to the training room when I came down here, and they'd already cleared all the floors above here. You're all that's left."

That seemed to decide them. The first one glanced behind them. "What about the traitors?"

Traitors? Wait…I flicked my eyes around the floor at the people in the cages. They were all dirty and tired-looking, glaring at us from behind the bars. They were all Foot defectors? "They tried to leave the Foot, now they will be left behind in return," I replied impatiently. "Just leave them."

"But the boy…"

Dude, this was getting _ridiculous_. "He's a child," I retorted, walking a few steps back towards the elevator impatiently, like I was gonna leave them behind. "What do you think he can really do? You checked him before you put him in there, so it's not like he can escape."

The two Footies went really, really still, and I grinned behind my mask. Ooo, someone was in trouble! "You didn't check him?" I growled disbelievingly, channeling all the disapproving Leo-ness I could.

The one who had been doing most of the talking shifted slightly. "The mistress didn't say—"

I stormed back towards them. "The mistress has other, more important things to worry about; you should have been able to figure this much out on your own. Give me the keys, I'll check him myself and catch up; you'd probably only bungle that as well. We can't have him warning the police before everyone evacuates."

They practically threw the keys into my hand and darted for the elevator. I waited for them to close the doors and grinned.

Suckers.

I trotted over to Ryan's cell, checking him over; he seemed fine, though scared, staring at me through the bars. I fumbled through the keys until the tiny number on the key matched the one above Ryan's cell and unlocked the door.

Ryan had backed up to the rear wall of the cell and was scowling like Raph on his worst day. "Just try it, you pajama-wearing loser."

That was one of the many reasons I really liked this kid. I wanted to laugh, or at least ask him if he was okay, but I couldn't risk it. Instead I pulled the door open and gestured impatiently. "Out," I ordered, keeping my voice a growl.

"I'm not going anywhere," Ryan countered, his voice wavering.

Okay, we had no time for this, and as much as I hated to be the one scaring him, I couldn't use the kid gloves on him if I wanted to sell the act. I pocketed the keys and strode into the cell, reaching for Ryan. He swung at me, and I grabbed his wrist to force his arm carefully behind his back and propel him out toward the elevator. Moving fast kept him off-balance and made sure that he was too busy trying not to trip to try and fight me. He struggled in the elevator until I grabbed his other arm as well, then just stood there panting and trembling slightly.

Poor kid would've been better off if he'd never met me. But at least he'd be out of danger soon.

The elevator doors opened onto the ground floor that I'd come in on, and I hustled him down the hallway to the door, then shoved him out into the alley, slamming the door shut behind him.

As soon as the door was closed I flipped the lock into place and sagged into the wall, breathing out a sigh of relief and shaking from the adrenaline rush. I just needed to give Ryan a few minutes to find the crowds out front or the cops, and then I'd follow him out into the alley, get changed, and then go play chaperone. I'd delivered the über-virus and I'd gotten Ryan free; I was done here.

I shifted and felt the lumps in my pockets from Donnie's bombs, and went very still. Or maybe I wasn't quite done. Maybe…maybe there was still some more I could do.

I knew where all the Foot were in the building, and I had two explosives that were apparently strong enough to bring down a warehouse each. I could make sure Karai didn't walk away from this, assuming she was on the same floor as the rest of the Foot, or at least make sure she didn't have an army left. It'd bring the cops running, and give them more than enough reason to storm the building. It wouldn't even be that hard; all I'd have to do would be to take the elevator up to the twelfth floor, activate the bombs, and slide 'em down the hallway. If I got enough distance on them, I'd be fine in the elevator, or I could just take the stairs.

It'd be easy, and knowing Don's toys, it'd be effective too. The Foot had hunted us and wrecked our lives for years, and we owed them a lot of suffering. We owed _Karai_ a lot of suffering. She'd destroyed our home, nearly killed Leo, had been helping Shredder get back to the Utrom home world, even knowing what he'd do when he got there, and now she'd kidnapped Ryan and almost killed Leo a second time. If we wanted to make sure Karai didn't come after us, we had to make sure she had no army left, to make sure she was out of the equation.

I could do that, right now…couldn't I? I pulled out one of the explosives, turning it over in my hands.

What would Leo or Raph or Don do? What would Master Splinter want me to do?

I thought about it for a while, but I realized that those weren't the questions that mattered. There was really only one question I had to answer:

What could I live with?

…Not with this. I couldn't live with this.

This was murder. We'd all killed before, but that was in battle, in self-defense and protecting each other. There was some honor to it, justification for the bloodshed. If I did this, I'd be no better than the Foot…and that was only if I could be sure the force of the explosion would be limited to just this floor. If one of these things could level a warehouse, it'd tear the building apart, and what would happen to the people out on the sidewalks, or in the neighboring buildings?

I slipped the bomb back in my pocket and pressed a hand against my mouth, shaking at how much I'd honestly considered doing it. Karai had brought it on herself, I know she had, but I didn't want to be like her. I didn't want to be like Leo had been after everything on Shredder's spaceship, when he wanted to go after everyone before they could be a threat. Leo had scared me then, and I think he'd even scared Raph, even if he'd never admit it. I'd be like Bishop if I pretended that the ends justified the means in something like this.

I wouldn't be me if I did this, not any kind of me that I could stand, anyway.

But could I really just walk away, either? Karai was just a few floors away. I should at least go after her. Self-defense covered protecting others as well, even by humans' standards, and I could make sure she didn't escape before the cops caught up with her. I could make sure she'd pay for what she did to Leo, that she faced justice. I could make sure she wasn't able to ruin our lives, to jeopardize our chance at finally living in peace.

Except that I had no idea where she was. If she was on the twelfth floor, it'd be suicide trying to get to her with the entire Foot clan in the same place. And if she wasn't, there were way too many other floors to check before my luck ran out. I had to let this one go, no matter how much I wanted to make Karai pay for what she'd done. Our new lives were worth taking her down, but taking her down wasn't worth our new lives, and that's what I'd be risking; if our fight went on too long, I'd be found and taken down by the cops with the rest of the Foot, or I'd be killed, and my bros would not only have to deal with that, they'd have to try and explain how my body ended up in Karai's building, in a Foot uniform, with her blood on my hands.

If we wanted to live as humans, we had to make sure Karai was taken down as a human, by humans, not as a ninja and by a ninja. She didn't deserve an honorable death in battle anyway; I wanted to see her in jail and ruined for what she'd done, the main scandal of the evening news. As for the Foot…we'd deal with that later, but if they were smart, with Karai gone, they'd take the chance to run.

Like the Foot downstairs.

I paused with my hand on the door. On the one hand—the really, really loud hand that was probably right—a Foot was a Foot, regardless of whether they'd tried to bail on Karai or not. Then again, what if they were like Ryu? Could it hurt to check? If they were trying to leave, it showed they had some kind of conscience, at least. And if I didn't do anything…at best, they'd be forgotten about and left to die if the cops didn't find them in time—assuming they did find them, because not many people looked for dungeons in business buildings. At worst, Karai was planning on sending someone down to kill them off before the rest of the clan ran for the hills.

I could at least check. It'd take five minutes tops. I know my bros would be yelling at me, but this was my choice, and I was doing things my way.

The ride down was quick, at least, and I trotted down to one of the fuller cells, rapping on the bars. "Hey. What're you in for?"

A woman stepped forward, glaring at me through the cage, and I tried not to gape. Why the heck were there pretty ladies working for a psycho like Karai? She looked me up and down. "You're the one who was here before. Where's the child?"

"I let him go," I said honestly. "Karai's not child friendly on her best days, and she hasn't had any of those for a long time."

The Foot lady's eyes narrowed. "You are not from the clan," she said slowly. "You speak of Karai carelessly and rescue those she wants locked up. Who are you? You wear the uniform of the Foot, but I don't recognize your voice."

I grinned to myself. "When I say the words 'four short green dudes,' what springs to mind?" I asked cheekily.

"Turtle," she responded immediately. A second later, her eyes went wide with surprise, and the rest of the people in the cage looked just as gobsmacked. "Turtle…? But you—how?"

"Long story, babe," I said, inching closer and spinning the keys on my finger nervously. This was really, really stupid; my bros would probably be handing me my shell if they'd been there—and if I still had a shell. "Back to my previous question, which, given our respective situations, matters a lot more than yours. What are you in for?"

"We tried to leave when it became apparent that Karai had lost her reason and was no longer considering the good of the clan," she answered. "We tried to leave and she turned on us."

So it was just about self-preservation, not because they'd had a change of heart. Or maybe it was. "Not surprising. What exactly were you planning on doing if you'd made it out?"

"What does it matter to you?" she shot back.

"Quite a bit, since I'm sort of considering letting you go," I said seriously, ignoring the way the other people in the cages shifted and started whispering in shock. "Look, Karai messed up and went completely off the reservation; she attacked us in the middle of the city and kidnapped the kid who was in here earlier. The police are on their way and there's a giant target on her ass, so she's booking it, and I mean for good; she gave the order to evacuate, and the Foot is leaving for Japan. So either I leave you here, and you get to hope the police find you before you starve, or I let you out. One more time: what were you gonna do if you'd escaped?"

Her eyes darted across my mask. "Can you really trust my answer, since we both know our freedom is conditional on whether you approve or not?"

Okay, I kind of liked her a bit, even if I didn't have time for her to be smart. "I've successfully bullshitted some of the smartest and most suspicious people ever; I'm kind of an expert on bullshit by now. I'll know if you're lying to me." I hoped. "So one last time, and keep in mind that I'm running really short on time to get my ass out of here, and consequently running even shorter on Good Samaritan vibes: are you planning on picking up where Karai left off with the killing and stealing and occasionally effective attempts at making our lives miserable?"

"If we get out, you are, quite honestly, the least of our concerns," the Foot lady said bluntly. "The clan's aims were our way of life, but not all of us are attached to crime. I won't speak for everyone and say we are going to be pillars of society, but we have no real desire to create a new reincarnation of the Foot to spend our lives trying to find five humans in New York City, especially since we'd have no idea what you look like, only what you sound like."

Since I knew it was stupid to expect them to pinky promise to be upstanding citizens from here on out, that was probably the best I was going to get. She seemed sincere; none of their faces had the kind of malice or shiftiness of Karai or the Purple Dragons, even if they didn't look like Boy or Girl Scout material either. Mostly they all looked tired, and worn, and like I was the one whose word couldn't be trusted…which honestly convinced me more than anything they could have said. If they were hoping for freedom, but afraid to trust in the offer and what it might cost, then they'd probably been thoroughly screwed over by Karai and her failed promises. If nothing else, I could at least be sure that given how well it'd turned out for them this time, they probably wouldn't ever trust another megalomaniac again.

"Alright. Then I guess it's jailbreak time. But you guys mind your manners and keep your hands to yourselves, got it? I'm not letting anyone out if you're gonna start something."

Pretty much everyone in the cage blinked in surprise at the same time, which was sort of funny and creepy. "Is this a joke?" the Foot lady demanded harshly.

"No joke, so long as I can trust you not to put a knife in my back as soon as I turn around."

The hope and suspicion on her face were making me certain this was the right thing to do. "You have my word on behalf of my comrades that if you let us out, our only concern will be escaping the building, not coming after you."

I hesitated another minute, then figured I might as well go for it. "I'll hold you to that," I muttered, tossing the keys in the air and catching them. If I was gonna do this, I was gonna be smart about it; there was taking a gamble on someone, and then there was being stupid. The key was to sound in control, to make them realize it was my way or the highway—time to channel Leo and John Wayne.

"Alright, here's how it's going to go. I'm gonna give you the keys, and you'll get yourselves out. I'm gonna leave while you do that." I had total confidence in my ability to sprint like my life depended on it and get to the elevator before they even got the door unlocked; I could have done it even if I wasn't running on about five gallons of adrenaline. "Once you're out, I suggest you book it; Karai's packing up the tower and all the Foot and getting outta Dodge. I don't honestly know if she or anyone else remembers or cares that you're down here or not, but you'd better hope it's not. If I were you, I'd only take the elevator up to the ground floor, because all the top floors are going nuts; stay off the twelfth floor especially, that's where they're all meeting up. Walk out the lobby if you have to, but make it fast."

"Understood," the Foot lady said briskly, glancing between my eyes and the keys.

"Good." I held my hand out, then gripped her wrist as she grabbed the keys from my palm, ignoring the way she stiffened. "I want you to listen, all of you, and listen really, really well," I said, my voice hard. "My bros and I have got a chance at a new life with the Foot and Karai out of the way, and I am all sorts of not in the mood to let you or anyone else ruin it. So I'm gonna say this once: once you're out of here, don't try and start something. I'm not stupid enough think that you tried to duck out on Karai because you had a change of heart. We all know it was just self-preservation on your part. But you've got a chance to stop being our enemies, and I'm suggesting you take it. Stay in New York, leave the city, head back to Japan, I don't care, but you'd better drop the feud like you're dropping Karai. I don't want to hear about anyone coming near the kid who was here, and I don't want to hear about a new, Shredder-free version of the Foot either, not unless your new business model consists of rescuing kittens and helping little old ladies cross the street. We clear?"

She nodded tightly, her arm flexing under my grip. "Emphatically." The others echoed her.

"Good. Because we're gonna have enough fallout to deal with after today, and I don't want to have to add you to the list. I know what you look like, but you don't have that advantage…which is a shame, because I am ridiculously good-looking." I dropped her wrist, hoping the warning had set in. I didn't like having to threaten people, but for the sake of our new lives, I would do a lot of things I didn't like. "So. In the interest of sounding like a good sport, here's where I wish you guys good luck, and a happy life of being law-abiding citizens and all that."

"Thank you," she said seriously. "We know the risk this represents for you, and the debt we owe. Should you need it, we will repay it."

I had no idea how she thought that was going to work, especially since I was going to be making a heck of a lot of effort in the 'never see you again' department, but I appreciated the sentiment. "Right. Hopefully I won't have to hold you to that. Anyway, good luck, and get your asses moving."

I bolted for the elevator after that, and the doors closed just as the pretty lady got her cell door open. Less than a minute later I was out the door and back in the alley, shaking so hard from the adrenaline dump that I could barely get my clothes changed and Donnie's toys back in my pockets. I stowed the Foot uniform back on the fire escape, figuring that there was a chance it'd come in handy some day, then booked it for the sidewalk.

New York's finest were swarming the front of the building, and I saw a knot of them moving toward a police cruiser. Figuring that was my best bet, I jogged over there, calling Ryan's name.

I only made it a few feet closer before an officer shoved in front of me with his Cop Face on. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to move back."

"Look, _sir_, a kid I know was kidnapped, and my brother told me it was Karai who did it, so I'm not going to—"

"Mike!"

I perked up at the sound of Ryan's voice, craning around Officer Hardass. "Ryan?"

The kid wove his way around half a dozen officers toward me, launching himself at me. I huffed in surprise at the tackle-hug, then figured it totally made sense, given the kind of day he'd been having, and hugged him back. "Ryan, are you okay? Don called me, said Chuck and Ryu were tied up at your place talking to the cops. I came over here as soon as I could." All true, for the cops not-so-subtly listening in.

"I'm fine, just a little—I'm fine. But Leo—"

"Yeah, I know. Don told me."

"Have you heard anything?" he asked quickly.

I hesitated, wondering how much he'd told the cops, then shook it off; they'd hear about it anyway. "Nothing new. Don called me and sent me here, and he said Leo was—" I didn't want to say 'still alive,' because it wasn't gonna help Ryan if he thought that was up in the air. "—still conscious when he talked to Chuck. Raph was going with him to the hospital."

Ryan hesitated, chewing on his lip. "He—he was trying to get me back," he said quietly, swallowing. "Even though he was hurt. I mean, he was—pinned to the door, but he tried. When she was dragging me out, he was—was t-trying to get the swords or knives or whatever out of him. He tried, but it was hurting him, I could tell, and I just—" He gulped. "Mike, I'm sorry. I didn't—Karai grabbed me as soon as I got in the apartment, and made Chuck and Ryu and Raph go in the other room, and then—" His breathing hitched. "And then Leo tried to distract her and go for the sword, but she threw me at him, and he only had time to get me out of the way before she—stabbed him. I tried to stop the second one, but she—"

The guilt in the kid's voice was hard to miss. I set a hand on his head and ruffled his hair gently. "It's not your fault," I said roughly, trying to fight the urge to find a nice, quiet alley and freak out. Don had left more than a few things out, and holy crap, Raph had to be losing his mind after having to hear that happen and not being able to help. "They're probably already at the hospital, and Leo—he'll be fine." There wasn't any other option; Leo _not_ being okay wasn't up for debate.

Officer Hardass—okay, Officer 'Green,' according to his nameplate—cleared his throat and frowned at me again. "Sir—"

"Ryan, do you know this guy?" another cop asked, coming up behind Ryan.

He nodded. "This is Mike. He's Leo's brother and my friend. Mike, this is Jack—uh, Officer Clinton, he used to work with Chuck."

I gave him a 'hey, what's up' nod. "Nice to meet you. Can you guys fill me in on what went on here?"

Officer Clinton tipped his head back and forth noncommittally. "We were hoping you could fill us in first. How did you know to come here?"

"I told you. Chuck called one of my brothers to see if he could come here, since he figured that's where Karai was taking Ryan, but he was in a traffic jam. So my brother called me, and I got here as fast as I could." I glanced at Ryan, wondering how he was spinning things. "What happened? How'd you get away?"

Ryan shrugged. "Some guy let me out. They had me in some sort of jail cells in the basement, and some guy in one of the weird unitards told the guys guarding me to beat it, then let me out. He just unlocked the cell, dragged me over to the elevator, and shoved me out the door. I still had my phone on me, and it worked once I was out of the basement, so I called the cops."

I ran a hand over my face, hoping it looked like I was trying to get a handle on things rather than hiding my relief; Ryan hadn't recognized me, and even better, he was smart enough to leave out as much about Karai as possible. "Geez. Holy crap, I'm glad you're okay. Do you know where Karai went?"

Another shrug. "I guess she's still in there somewhere, I don't know."

"Are you guys going in after her?" I asked the cops, jerking my head at the building.

"I'm afraid we can't discuss the situation," Officer Clinton said apologetically.

Oh, for the love of— "Look, that psycho _stabbed_ my brother. This situation is my situation."

He shook his head. "Sir, it's not—"

I so did not have time for this crap. "Fine, whatever. Can I at least get Ryan out of here? Chuck and Ryu and my brothers are waiting at the hospital, I just need to call Don and find out which one."

"He's a witness, a minor, and a victim in a kidnapping case; we can't let him go running off with a stranger," Officer Green-Hardass retorted. "Plus we still have a few questions, so he really needs to come with us to the precinct—"

Ryan turned to glare at them, inching closer to me. "I've answered all your questions at least twice; I want to go to the hospital now. And my guardian has to give consent before you can take me anywhere, and guess where he is? Also at the hospital. And Mike isn't a stranger, he's my friend." He looked up at me. "Can you drive us?"

"No car, bud, sorry. But I am skilled in the ancient art of hailing a cab," I promised, trying not to grin at the way he'd just shot down the cops.

"We can give you a ride," Officer Clinton offered, apparently realizing he wasn't going to get anything else out of Ryan unless he caved.

I glanced at Ryan, and he nodded reluctantly. "Sounds good," I said for both of us. "Give me a second to find out where they are and we can head out." I flipped my phone out, hitting Don's number on speed dial and wandering a few steps away for some privacy.

Don picked up in the middle of the first ring. "Mikey?"

"Hey, bro. I found Ryan, he's alright."

A huge sigh gusted over the line. "Thank goodness. And you're alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. The cops got here before I did, and apparently Ryan had already made it out by then."

"They're listening to you right now, and you can't say anything else, right?" Don guessed quietly.

I nodded. "Yep."

"Alright. I'll get the full story from you later. Anyway, I got a call from Raph, they took Leo to Grace Presbyterian Hospital. I'm already there—the traffic finally cleared up, and thankfully it was on my way—and Chuck and Ryu are headed here as well, they just finished up with the cops a little while ago."

"Wait, you said Grace Presbyterian?"

"Yeah. Is something wrong?"

"No, no, just weird. Good weird. That's where I volunteer, and where Leah works."

"You're kidding." Don huh'ed quietly. "Well, at least one of us will know our way around the place. Anyway, how soon can you get here?"

"Let me check." I titled the phone toward my shoulder and glanced at the cops. "How long will it take us to get to Grace Presbyterian?"

They looked at each other. "Ten, fifteen minutes?" Officer Clinton guessed. "Depends on traffic."

"Kay. Donnie? Looks like we're about ten or fifteen minutes out," I relayed, "but we're coming via cop car, so we ought to make good time. Is there any news on Leo?"

"He's still in surgery," Don said softly, beeping and chattering filtering through the phone. "They said it'd probably be a couple hours, so you're still in for a wait when you get here."

That was good, right? Just a couple hours, and Donnie didn't sound wrecked, so maybe we'd caught a break. "But it looks…do they think he'll be alright?"

Don sighed. "They didn't tell me. But Raph said Leo was still conscious when they got here, which is a good sign, and they started him on a transfusion on the way over. The nurses won't tell me anything other than that Leo's still in surgery, but it's sort of a 'no news is good news' situation at this point."

"Right. Okay. And Raph…?"

It was quiet on Don's end of the line for a while. "Needs to get out of here for a while. I can't—he's wound too tightly for me to get through to him. It'd be good for you to be here, Mikey. Maybe you can help."

Meaning Raph was about ten minutes or three wrong words away from exploding, but probably still too worried to leave while Leo was—under the knife. "Yeah. We're on our way. You called April and Casey?"

"They're en route as well," Don promised. "I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah, you bet." I hung up, sighing and giving Ryan a shaky smile. "Leo's still in surgery, but he was still awake when they got him to the hospital, so that's a good sign. Chuck and Ryu are on their way, they'll probably beat us there."

Ryan looked like the only part of that that didn't make him feel miserable was the news that Chuck was waiting for him. "I wanna go see them. Now."

The cops ushered us into the back of a squad car, and I tried to shove down my nerves at being trapped with doors that didn't open from the inside and focus on Ryan instead. He scooted next to me and I looped an arm around his shoulders. I'd gotten him out, and Leo was getting all the medical care he needed. The worst was over.

It had to be.

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**A/N: **As always, reviews make my days explode with happiness, and concrit or heads-ups about errors/misspellings/etc. are always appreciated.


	22. Chapter 22

_**Disclaimer**: see previous chapters_

I am so sorry for the delay, especially in light of the last chapter being a bit of a cliffie; two weeks of deadlines and editing at work hit back-to-back, and I ended up with a lot less free time than I expected. But this is all done, and the next chapter is about 90% done, so that should be up hopefully in about two weeks.

Special, ridiculously copious thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: **greshunkai, mcmario, or-chan, Technophobia678, Yolinanimai, Reigningspirit, teenagejustice, cuzimaw3som317, the happystalkerball, BraveChicken, Hily, Karlina101, Megan, Sabrinasidd, Rika24, Nashara** and **MegHidd.** I continue to be blown away by the response to this story, the support from my readers, and the kind words you send my way. It's all very much appreciated.

No particular warnings on this one, other than angst! Which you're all used to by now.

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**Donatello**

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It didn't take long for me—or any of us, really—to realize that one of us being hurt as a human was worse than one of us being hurt as a turtle.

Yes, as a human, Leo could get better medical attention, from people who'd had at least ten years of education and training, rather than the few years of self-taught first aid and surgery I'd picked up on my own. He was being treated by professionals in a sterile environment, not in underground catacombs or a dusty old treatment plant or the sewer, places where infection was more than a concern, it was almost a guarantee. Leo was getting the best care he could, and I didn't have to worry about not being good enough to handle his injuries. Logically, we should all be a lot calmer than usual.

Yeah, right.

Having one of us be hurt and not being able to even see them, let alone do anything about it, was maddening. I'd gotten to the hospital a few minutes after Raph to find him pacing the waiting room, all of the other visitors watching him nervously and giving him a wide berth. From the way the orderly at the doors to the operating wing was watching him, I'd lay good money that Raph had tried to follow Leo back there; we (and the orderly) were lucky Raph hadn't taken him apart to get to Leo. I tried to do what I could to calm him down, but it was obvious the only thing that was going to help was seeing Leo for himself.

I managed to get the story piecemeal from Raph, as well as a terse account of what he'd told the police—he and Leo had been going to Chuck's, Karai had ambushed them, he knew Leo was working for the guy acquiring Karai's company, but they'd have to ask her why she skewered our brother. Most of the details came from Chuck and Ryu once they arrived about twenty minutes later. To hear what had happened, and not be able to see for myself how bad the wounds were…

I'd never really enjoyed being the family medic. The pressure of it, the mindset I had to force myself into in order to see my brothers as just patients rather than family, the knowledge that I was the one their health and sometimes even lives depended on…sometimes I hated it. But until now, until I was being told to sit by and wait for news while strangers operated on my brother, I'd never fully appreciated the fact that being the medic at least meant that I always knew what was going on. When I'd had to work on my brothers in the past I'd always wished for better facilities, for better equipment and medicines, and even a few times that there could be someone else to do what I had to.

Not anymore. Trusting Leo to someone else, even though I knew they had to have years of training on me, was torture.

We all hated it. Raph was slowly going out of his mind, and who could blame him? Being close enough to see and hear Leo get attacked, but unable to protect him or take Karai down…it'd be enough to drive any of us nuts, let alone Raph. I was probably driving the nurse in charge crazy, checking for updates every hour and trying not to picture the people working on Leo making a mistake.

And Mikey wasn't doing much better. He'd come flying into the hospital with Ryan (and a few disgruntled-looking police officers in tow), white as a sheet after I'd been there for about an hour. Some of the tension had eased in Raph at seeing him, now that we were all together and safe. And though Raph would never admit it, a little more tension had eased with the fierce hug Mikey had hit him with, which he'd stood for as long as he could.

Then came the waiting. The nurse on duty at the desk had no idea how long Leo would be in surgery for, and they weren't providing any updates from the operating room. I'd gone over things in my mind a dozen times, based on what Raph and Chuck had told me, and I could easily ballpark the surgery taking two hours at least if nothing serious had been hit. If it had…we'd be here a lot longer.

Mikey and I tried to distract each other with conversation, and Casey and April helped with that when they got there as well, but it was hard to forget where we were and the kind of news we were waiting for. Mikey was able to relay in quiet Japanese a brief summary of what went down at Foot HQ, which was plenty distracting. There was more to it, he'd told me at the end, but that was going to have to wait until all of us could hear it, though he'd reassured me that it wasn't anything bad.

After that we segued into whatever came to mind as we tried to keep ourselves occupied. Mikey talked about his volunteering and Leah, and I managed to tease him that I'd have to go looking for her to tell her some embarrassing stories. The hope on his face at the idea of going to find her was telling; Mikey had it bad. I was kind of hoping we would run into her, even though she was in a different ward, because it'd be a pleasant distraction.

Unsurprisingly, Raph didn't join in. He stayed on the periphery, either pacing or holding painfully still, his eyes always on the doors Leo had disappeared through. Mikey kept glancing at him, and I knew he wanted to talk and get some more reassurance on Leo, but the caged look on Raph's face any time someone came near him, family or stranger, kept both of us in our seats. The last thing we needed was to push him too far; he was trying hard to stay for us, and we needed to make it as easy on him as possible.

Truth be told, I was both impressed and proud that Raph was still around. The anger and anxiety around him was heavy enough it was practically manifesting into the visible spectrum, but he was staying, white-knuckled and tense. I didn't know if it was a fear of Leo not being—here when he came back, or a desire to be where he could protect everyone, but I'd never seen Raph ground himself like this for so long. When Leo had been hurt in the Foot ambush, Raph had been ready to leave for blood; the only thing he wanted to wait for was to find out who to go after. I could tell he still wanted to go—it had always been Raph's standard form of therapy to take his pain and frustration out on punks and criminals, because for him it was always better to be doing something than nothing, even if that something didn't help the situation—but he was still with us.

I was grateful for it. The thought of one of us not being here, of Raph going after Karai…I couldn't handle it just then. Later I knew I'd have to come to terms with it, because with Leo out of commission, there'd be no one to stop Raph from hunting Karai down to kill her—at least, no one Raph would listen to. Plus, to be honest, I wasn't particularly interested in talking Raph out of it, and I kind of doubted Mikey would be either.

Because as much as I was worried, I was also angry.

I was angry with Karai for not just letting it go. We were out of her life, as far as she knew, with no interference in her affairs other than the skirmish in the tunnels and the warehouse, the latter of which she didn't even know was us. She finally had us out of her hair, but she wouldn't let it go, didn't know how to cut her losses and quit while she was sort of ahead.

And even though I knew how wrong it was, I was mad at Leo, too, for leading the danger of our old lives into our new lives. I was just so—so _frustrated_ that all of our efforts, everything we'd gone through was for naught. Just when we thought we'd escaped our enemies, Karai was back in our lives. I knew it wasn't his fault, that it was just a stream of ridiculously unfortunate coincidences…but part of me just couldn't help blaming Leo for the fact that Karai had caught up with us.

I didn't _want_ to go back to our old life, in which Karai was as ever-present a danger as Bishop or being seen topside or freezing or starving in the winter. It wasn't that I hated our old way of life, or that I was ashamed of how we'd lived or who we were, it was just—we'd found something better. We were safe here, we didn't have to fight every single day just to ensure that we lived to see tomorrow, and we were free to do as we pleased. But now the peace, the happiness, all the good change that we had won…all of it was at risk.

And I _knew_ it was Karai and the situation that deserved my anger, and not my own brother. I knew that Leo couldn't control what had happened, and that I had encouraged him to keep the job that led to everything falling apart, but—but the childish side of me, that had wanted this so badly and was so scared and angry at the thought of losing it—that side of me couldn't help the snide little thought that for how often Leo harped about caution, _I_ wasn't the one to give away our secret right in front of Karai.

I was as angry at myself for thinking that as I was at what had happened.

I knew Mikey had said that word in the tower was that Karai was evacuating the Foot from the city and making a run for Japan, so we were looking at getting her out of our lives for good…but what if it was too late? What if the cops were already too suspicious of us, of the flimsy story about why Karai attacked Leo and how Mikey had shown up at Foot HQ to get Ryan right after everything was over? It was too high profile, and even I had to admit that it looked suspicious that we weren't giving any specific reasons why Karai would attack us.

As much as I wanted to see Karai put away for good, to know that she was behind bars and incapable of ruining our lives anymore, I couldn't help but wonder if maybe it would be better if the police didn't catch her. If she got out of the city and made it to Japan, we didn't have to worry about what she told the cops; our version of the story would be the only one the police would have to go on.

Japan. Oh, shell—

"Master Splinter," I said numbly, startling Mikey with the outburst. "We have to call him, he should know what's going on."

Mikey blinked, his eyes wide. "I forgot. I just figured he was going to be back at the La—back at home, and we'd fill him in when we got back with Leo," he finished awkwardly, catching himself mid-phrase as he remembered that we had an audience.

April chewed on her lip slightly. "Not that I think you should keep him out of the loop, but maybe you shouldn't call him yet," she suggested carefully.

We gaped at her. "April, he needs to know."

"Assuming he hasn't sensed a disturbance in the Force already," Mikey pointed out.

April held up a hand. "I just mean that you should wait until we find out how Leo's surgery went. I know he'd want to know as soon as possible, but it'd be kinder to wait until you know how Leo is rather than to call him only to say Leo's hurt and we don't know how badly."

"Yeah." I sat back, rubbing my face and trying to figure out how I'd tell Sensei what had happened—Raph certainly wasn't going to be in any shape to do so for a while, and Mikey had his hands full trying to be brave for Ryan. "Yeah, you're right."

We all fell silent after that, and I glanced over at Mikey where he was sitting quietly with Ryan. The kid was still pale, the muscles of his back tense against his t-shirt. Other than a few questions, he'd been quiet since he and Mikey had arrived, staying close. For all that he'd only known Leo through Mikey, Ryan was obviously worried about him, which wasn't surprising; Leo has a tendency to draw people in, and he'd fought for Ryan right in front of him.

Mikey leaned over to nudge Ryan gently with his shoulder. "Hey. How're you doing?"

He shrugged and pushed back, then just stayed leaning against Mikey. "I'm alright."

We knew he wasn't, and he knew he wasn't, but none of the rest of us were doing any better, so Mikey didn't bother calling him on it. "He'll be fine. He's been through much worse than this."

April, Casey, and I turned to look at Mikey disbelievingly. While that was definitely true, it was hardly a comforting thing to hear.

Ryan turned to look at him, his expression reproachful. "That's not really helping."

Mikey grimaced. "Yeah, I know. I'm usually a lot better at the cheering people up thing. But really, this isn't that bad, all things considered."

He just stared at the floor, scuffing his feet across the tiles. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's not your fault. We've had…an active lifestyle, buddy. Things happen."

He shook his head. "Not for the past stuff, though I'm sorry for that too; I meant tonight."

I frowned, leaning around Mikey to catch Ryan's eyes. "What happened tonight was in no way your fault, Ryan."

Ryan looked up. "But…Leo got hurt because of me!"

"And you got kidnapped because of Leo," I pointed out in return.

"You're totally not at fault here, Ryan. What happened to Leo…it wasn't exactly something we never saw coming," Mikey explained. "Karai hates Leo; she has for a long time. And as much as I hate to say it, she's not completely stupid, and she's got some skills. She was gonna catch up with us sooner or later, and you just happened to be there when she did—which is our fault, not yours. Besides, from what Raph told us, you're the reason Leo's—not hurt worse than he is."

Chuck leaned across the space between the rows of chairs to grip Ryan's knee and shake him slightly. "Listen to them, Ryan. You did what you could; you helped Leo, and you kept your head about you. You've done well, and handled this a lot better than a lot of people might have."

"He's right," Casey agreed. "Most people, there's usually a lot more screamin'."

"I guess." Ryan went back to staring at the floor for a few minutes, making aimless patterns with the scuffmarks from his shoes. "…He'll really be okay?"

"Scout's honor," Mikey said firmly. "Leo ties with Raph as the most stubborn guy in the universe; it takes more than this to keep him down for long. Plus he hates hospitals. He'll be out of here as soon as they let him."

If he didn't sneak out first. I really hoped they had him drugged as soon as they got him out of surgery, because if Leo was bad about bed-rest at home, I didn't want to think about what he'd be like here. But he'd be fine; they'd get him out of surgery, and he'd be ready to go as soon as the drugs wore off.

He'd be fine.

"That lady, Karai," Ryan said slowly. "Why does she hate Leo so much?"

We all looked down at that, trying to think about how to answer the question. I glanced up at Ryu, trying to ask with my eyes how much he'd told Ryan about his past, but he shook his head with an apologetic look. Not much, apparently, which meant there'd be no help from that quarter.

"Leo helped put her father away, and Karai can never visit him," Mikey hedged carefully, obviously trying to tell the truth without revealing too much both to a kid and in a room full of strangers. "Saki—Karai's adoptive dad—was a horrible person, but he saved her when she was little, and gave her a home, so she followed him through anything. She's never forgiven Leo for taking him away."

"What did he do? Her dad?"

Raph snorted from his post on the wall, because we all knew it'd be more accurate to ask what the Shredder _didn't_ do. "He…hurt a lot of people and did some seriously bad things," Mikey answered. "Leo was one of the people Saki hurt, because he doesn't like our dad."

Ryan scowled. "How could she be mad at Leo? Sounds like her dad got what he deserved."

Mikey ruffled Ryan's hair, pulling him close enough that he missed the look of fierce agreement on Mikey's face. In all our opinions, Shredder wasn't gonna get what he deserved until he'd been forced to survive on that floating ice cube in space for years, to rot and realize how powerless and completely beaten he was. But Ryan didn't need to hear that.

"He did," Mikey said evenly. "But the thing is—look, it doesn't even really make total sense to us, it's probably only something that makes sense between the two of them, but Karai and Leo…in some ways, they both operate on the same wavelength, y'know? They share opinions on a lot of things, including loyalty. So I think Karai expected Leo to understand why she protected and supported Saki like she did, even though she knew what he'd done. And when Leo didn't and got in her way…" He shrugged uncomfortably. "Oil on the fire, dude."

Ryan looked confused, the expression warring with the growing fatigue on his features. "So…she blames Leo for all of it?"

"She blames all of us, really, though Leo gets the most of it. Even though her father had it coming to him, she still thinks it's our fault."

Ryan snorted. "She's stupid. Especially if she followed her dad knowing he was a bad guy."

"Some people…some people you just can't bring yourself to give up on."

I flashed back to the story Mikey had told us of his 'adventure' when Ultimate Draco crashed the Lair and sent us all over time and space. Mikey had been sent someplace, sometime, where Master Splinter _had_ gone bad. He wasn't our Splinter, I knew, but he was _a_ Splinter. And that meant that those Turtles—our doppelgangers in that dimension—were also us, except not. And when their Master Splinter went bad—they took him down.

They did what Karai couldn't and wouldn't. And since they were essentially us, it meant we could too, if it ever came to it; I was just grateful we'd never have to.

"Mike?"

"Yeah, buddy?"

"I would've left him, if I was her," Ryan said quietly. "I think she took the easy way out. But…I guess if he never hurt her, just other people…maybe I can understand why she didn't leave. It was still dumb, though; if he was a bad person, she should've known it would only be a little while until he started hurting her, too."

I looked down at the top of his head, since he was looking at his shoes, then glanced over at Chuck and Ryu, realizing that Chuck had never said why Ryan was living with him instead of his parents. Whatever the reason, given the lines on Ryan's face, he probably knew what he was talking about, in one way or another. Mikey reached over and hugged him around the head.

"I think she copped out too," he said quietly. "I wish she coulda been as strong as you, buddy. Things would've ended a lot better if she was."

Ryan looked embarrassed. "You're weird."

"Guilty as charged," Mikey agreed.

We went back to waiting, but Mikey's arm never left Ryan's shoulders, and Ryan never asked him to move it.

* * *

**Dr. Travis Adler**

* * *

People always tell you that if you became a doctor, you'd get to help your fellow man, to be on the cutting edge of medical advancements. They weren't ever as clear on the part where you'd also spend a lot of your time dealing with the fallout as people found new ways to hurt each other.

Today was one of those 'see something new' days. Twelve years I'd been a surgeon, and I'd seen pretty much everything: gunshot wounds, kids or drunk idiots who'd swallowed pens or coins on a dare, shrapnel from car accidents…but today was a first.

I'd just scrubbed out after sewing up a kid in his early 20s who'd had_ swords_ pulled out of him, or at least one sword and something equally sharp and bladed. The EMTs who'd brought him in hadn't known what the story was, only that he'd been attacked and pinned to the door until his brother—who'd been trapped behind the door the young man had been pinned to, good Lord—had managed to get down the fire escape and help the EMTs get his brother loose. He had some kind of luck, though, because the swords had missed his vitals, though there'd been a bit of cleanup to do.

Twenty-something years old and pinned to a door with swords. At least the surgery had gone well, all things considered, and the nurses were already getting him settled. I was going to have a few stiff drinks tonight, I promised myself, groaning as I made it to the break room and finally got to sit.

My feet and back had barely quieted down before a nurse poked her head in the door, smiling apologetically as she spotted me. "Dr. Adler? The young man you just finished up with, a…" She glanced down at the file in her hand. "A Leo Hamand, his family is out in the waiting room."

I ran a hand down my face. "How many of them?"

"His three brothers, apparently. And what I'm guessing are a few family friends."

"Including the brother who…" I mimed pulling something towards me.

She pressed her lips together and nodded, looking sympathetic. "We sent him to get cleaned up soon after he got here, and I don't think he's said more than a dozen words to anyone, even his brothers, since we took Leo back."

"Can't say I blame him," I admitted as I hauled myself to my feet. The nurse passed the file of paperwork to me, and I looked over the forms. I was going to be meeting a Don, Raph, and Mike, according to the family section, and wondered which one had been on-site during the attack. I normally preferred to have a little more time to myself to decompress after an operation, but for this kid and what he'd gone through, hearing his brother get hurt but being unable to help, I had a duty to let him know—let all of them know, really—as soon as possible that Leo had pulled through. "How are they handling the wait?"

The nurse tipped her head to the side. "They're extremely worried, unsurprisingly. They've checked at the desk at least once or twice an hour since they got here. It's just…they're very—tense, and I think they're making some of the other people in the waiting room a little anxious."

I frowned. "Does someone need to call security?"

She shook her head quickly. "No, they're not antagonistic, just…very on-edge, you can tell, but very self-contained; Toni at the desk says the one she's talked to the most, Don, is perfectly polite. They're keeping to themselves, not taking it out on anyone, it's just that they're—a bit intense all together."

"Not surprising," I said, gesturing for her to lead the way. "With their brother being attacked like that, they're bound to be gun-shy." I sighed, bracing myself for the inevitable frustration and questions. "Alright, so Don's the one I'm likely to have the most luck with, hm?"

"He's the one," she agreed, smiling. "Look for the guy with the ponytail."

"Got it." She left me at the entrance to the waiting room, and I looked over the nearest group as I cleared my throat. "Is anyone here for Leo Hamand?"

Three young men shot to their feet like a current had been run through their chairs, with five other people behind them. "We are," a blonde blurted. "We're his brothers. Is he okay? Can we see him yet?"

"Why's it taken so long—"

I raised my hands to try and get some quiet, and one of the young men, long hair mussed by anxious fingers—this had to be Don—set a hand on each of his companions' arms in restraint. "Sorry. We're Leo's brothers. I'm Don, this is Raph, and Mike. How's Leo?"

I offered the standard handshake and a genuine smile, grateful to deliver news to someone willing to be reasonable; all too often, family members and friends were too caught up in emotion to even listen, let alone do so in a calm manner. "I can give you a full run-down in just a minute, if you'll please step over here with me." I gestured to one of the empty exams rooms nearby, one of the rooms we used in cases such as this, when there was delicate or unpleasant news to share.

The redhead, Raph, scowled. "Why can't—"

His brother grabbed his arm again, cutting him off, to my relief. I really didn't want to argue with anyone's family, especially when I'd just spent the better part of two hours fixing up their brother, and delivering private information in front of strangers was never ideal. Besides, I had a few things to ask that weren't for anyone else's ears. Their friends sat back down, waving them on, and we all filed into the room.

I closed the door and started speaking as soon as it latched, knowing full well that haste was the better part of valor. "First off, I want to let you know that your brother is doing well, considering the state he arrived in; he made it through the surgery just fine." There was a visible drop in tension in all of them. "We did end up having to go in for some minor repairs, just to tend to some damage to a few veins that got nicked."

Don frowned. "The radial artery wasn't hit, was it?"

Well. Reasonable family members were rare; ones that had some knowledge of anatomy were even rarer. "No, nothing so serious, fortunately. Both wounds were clean and small, all things considered, so there was a minimum of clean-up to do other than some minor repair."

The blonde young man raised his hand like he thought he was in class, looking anxious. "How is he?"

I set the file down on the counter and leaned back against the edge, sensing that we were going to be in for an in-depth talk. "He's recovering now; as I mentioned, the surgery went well. Though the sword—" I cleared my throat; it really was an absurd type of injury to be talking about. "Though the sword did go completely through his shoulder, it did fairly minimal damage, all things considered; there was no tearing, and by nature of the implement that made it, the wound was fairly small and precise. None of the tendons were cut, and while there was some muscle damage, we were able to go in and repair it. Things could have been a lot worse."

"And his side?"

I grimaced. "Yes, the second wound. That one was, as you could guess, quite serious—but again, all things considered, it could have been a lot worse given its location." I straightened out my scrubs and tapped my side with a pen for visualization. "The blade hit him low in the abdomen, and angled farther out to his side in the back, at almost a forty-five degree angle. While that made things interesting in terms of entry for surgery, it also kept things from being very serious."

"It was that bad?" Raph asked lowly, his eyes dark. I caught sight of a dark area on the hem of his shirt, like it had gotten wet. This must be the brother who'd been there when Leo was attacked; poor kid.

"Abdominal trauma of any kind—impalement, blunt force, anything—always has the potential to be bad given how many vitals organs are centrally located there," I said honestly. "In your brother's case, two systems in particular were at risk."

"The lower intestine and his kidney, right?" Don supplied.

I blinked. "Have you had medical training?"

Don shook his head. "I have a passing interest in anatomy and medicine."

"I see. Yes, those were the ones in danger. At the risk of repeating myself, the sword's angle of entry ended up being a blessing, as it allowed the sword to just miss his lower intestine by a matter of millimeters; we actually had to check and make sure the intestines hadn't in fact been perforated, it was that close." The blonde went pale and I hurried on; I disliked having to be so graphic, but I had a duty to give them all the details. "The blade did graze his kidney, unfortunately, which is why surgery took so long. We had some work to do there, as there was some bleeding into the abdominal cavity, but thankfully we were able to get it under control, and there will be no need to remove the organ. The internal stitches there are why we're going to have to be particularly careful about keeping your brother quiet and as still as possible, however."

"But he's okay?" Mike asked.

I fought the urge to sigh; okay was such a relative term, and one every surgeon hated being asked about. Compared to his normal state of health, no, their brother was not okay. But considering he'd been stabbed twice, had just gotten out of surgery, and had strong vitals nonetheless, then in that sense, yes, he was actually doing surprisingly well.

"He's stable now and resting," I assured him. "We gave him a transfusion to get his volume up, since between the trauma and some vascular damage he was a little low. Right now he's on an IV to keep replenishing his fluids, in addition to one for pain management. The last batch of sedatives from his surgery should run its course in an hour or less, and based on your brother's reaction and level of disorientation, we'll proceed from there." I glanced down at the file beside me, hesitating, and forged on with a question of my own. "As a matter of purely morbid curiosity…I'm told one of you removed the weapons?"

Raph nodded, the motion jerky. "The way I saw it, better me than the paramedics since they've never handled a sword before."

"And you have?" I asked, unable to keep the disbelief out of my voice.

"We've all got some training in martial arts," Raph answered shortly.

"I see. Well, regardless, you did a good job," I said sincerely. It had to have been traumatic for him to use his training in such a way; no wonder he didn't want to talk about it. Still, that did answer some of the questions I had about the sheer number of scars we'd encountered when prepping Leo for surgery; I'd seen some martial arts exhibition shows before, and they certainly seemed to be hard on the athletes who participated. "The wounds are no bigger in the front than the back, which means no additional damage was caused when the weapons were removed. Removal of impaling objects can often be a cause of a great deal of secondary damage, so that was very neatly done."

Raph shrugged uncomfortably.

"What's the prognosis?" Don asked, leaning forward. "You said there had been some muscle damage?"

I nodded, grateful to have someone asking the right questions. Some of my colleagues liked the family members who didn't know enough about the process to question everything, but I greatly preferred the ones who knew enough to ask intelligent questions, since it saved everyone a lot of time and hysterics; better that they get all their questions out of the way at once. "There was, at both sites, though both should heal cleanly. Leo's arm will be need to be kept in a sling for the next couple weeks to give the muscles in his shoulder support and a chance to heal. He might need some physical therapy to get things back in shape there, but we'll make a decision on that once he starts healing and we see how things look."

I took a breath and forged on. "The injury to his side will take longer to heal, unsurprisingly. The muscle of the abdominal wall is much less elastic than elsewhere in the body, and as such, will take longer to knit together. While the wound is small enough that it should heal up fairly quickly externally, your brother will likely be sore for some time while the abdominal muscle continues to heal internally. No serious physical therapy will be required there, but we will have a list of exercises for him to do to ensure the muscles there heal strongly and retain their flexibility." I smiled at them reassuringly. "I know it all sounds very serious, but your brother was very lucky, all things considered, and pulled through the surgery with no complications. He's sewn up and resting comfortably. Given the fact that he's in the peak of health, we can probably have him discharged by no later than next week, and I don't imagine it'll take too long before he's back on his feet."

They all visibly relaxed. "Can we see him?" Mike asked.

"Soon. It will be family only, at first, and the nurses will advise you as to when he's cleared for additional visitors. Given the fact that your brother was assaulted, you'll have to leave a list of names at the desk on his floor of approved visitors, and all visitors will be required to check-in so we know who has access to him," I explained. "We're taking care of a few things post-op, and the nurses are still getting him settled in a room, but he should be ready for visitors in about half an hour. He's still under sedation, though, so he may or may not be awake."

Don nodded understandingly. "How long until he comes out of it?"

Here came the unpleasant part. I took a deep breath, and saw Raph tense slightly, as if he could sense something coming. "That's up to him."

One of Don's eyebrows rose slightly. "Somehow I don't think you're referring to Leo's physiological processing of the sedatives," he commented.

"I'm not," I admitted, wondering if this young man also had a "passing interest" in law, given his tone. "Your brother regained consciousness rather sooner than expected near the end of his surgery. He was…markedly distressed."

Don and Mike both winced, while Raph still looked immovable. Mike glanced at me, looking guilty. "How distressed?"

I cleared my throat. "He reacted badly, either to finding himself in a hospital or because of the disorientation caused by the drugs, we're not sure which. He gave one of the male nurses a bloody nose, and knocked another into a wall."

Don winced while Mike slapped a hand over his eyes. Raph shook his head. "I'm not tellin' 'im what he did when he wakes up," he grumbled.

"Not it," Mike immediately seconded.

Don scowled at both of his brothers, then grimaced. "I am so, so sorry," he murmured apologetically. "Is everyone okay?"

"The damage was minor," I assured him. "Both have had worse, and really were startled more than anything. It was just surprising. Most people aren't that—lively immediately after coming out of sedation. We sedated him again, and were able to finish up without any problems. Now, moving forward…the potential for additional harm to the staff aside, we need to ensure that Leo doesn't hurt himself, either. Your brother has stitches in both his shoulder and his side that could tear if he overexerts himself like that again, and he needs to keep all his blood inside him for a while. He needs to keep still in deference to the wound in his side in particular, since there are internal stitches that could also give way if he reacts badly upon waking."

"One of us could stay with him," Mike suggested hopefully. "He won't freak out if one of us is on hand to let him know everything's okay."

I shook my head. "I'm afraid that's not an option right now, but we'll take that under suggestion and try to have someone in to check on him more often."

"How long will you be keeping him under sedation?" Don pressed. "He needs natural sleep if he's going to heal, not the medicated kind."

"That's true. As I said, our plan is to wait for this round of sedatives to wear off, which should happen fairly soon. Hopefully we can avoid a scene like last time, but if not, we'll have to re-evaluate the situation and look into other options from there."

They glanced at each other, none of them looking particularly happy with the idea. I rather thought that having one of them on hand might be helpful, but rules were rules. I cleared his throat slightly, figuring I might as well try a question of my own. "There is something I'd like to ask, if I can."

Raph stiffened again, and I wondered at how protective he seemed. "Yeah?"

"Your brother…has he been the victim of malpractice or suffered some sort of trauma in relation to medical care?" I asked delicately. There was never a good way to ask such questions, but I couldn't think of any other explanation for how violently Leo had reacted upon regaining consciousness or the fear that had been obvious in his face. "There was no general physician listed on the forms you filled out, and as such no medical files for us to reference, but given Leo's reaction…is there something I should know? Certain triggers we should avoid? I'm asking for your brother's sake as much as for the staff's."

Raph's eyes slid towards Don, who sighed and scrubbed a hand across his forehead. "I can't remember if we mentioned it previously on the paperwork or not, but we're new to the city; we've only lived here for a few months. None of us have been sick or gotten hurt enough to need a doctor—nothing past paper cuts or cooking-related burns—so we haven't bothered to look into finding a general physician. We've had enough things to deal with that that issue just kind of…got lost in the confusion. As for Leo's reaction…"

"We ran into this guy once," Mike interjected quietly. "You can't really call him a doctor, since he obviously missed the whole 'above all else, do no harm' lesson. He got hold of Leo and, well…" He shrugged. "No one really takes well to being cuffed to an examination table, y'know?"

I was willing to bet my expression was openly horrified. I could tell from their grim expressions that there was a great deal Mike was glossing over, but still…for anyone to be treated that way—it was sickening to think of what else might have happened. "Your brother, was he…?" I didn't know what I wanted to ask. Asking if he was alright seemed foolish in the extreme, but I couldn't bring myself to ask if he'd been…experimented on or operated on against his will.

"He was fine," Don offered. "We were able to get out of there before anything happened, but it's not something we like to talk about, and Leo's…less than fond of hospitals since then. We all are."

"Understandably," I said, my voice faint. I dragged a hand down my face, suddenly deeply glad that I hadn't brought up the possibility that their brother might have to be restrained if he continued to be combative. There were quite a few other questions I'd like to ask, but I had been doing this long enough to recognize the subjects that people weren't willing to talk about. You had to pick your battles, especially when family members were already on edge from having a loved one in the hospital. "I'm sorry. That makes things very clear. Your brother…when he wakes up, I know it might not be the first thing on his to-do list, but we have several very competent therapists in this hospital, if he'd like to talk…"

Raph snorted. "Doubtful. The only thing he's really gonna want to do is leave." His tone and the set of his shoulders said Leo wouldn't be alone in that sentiment.

"I can't say I blame him. Again, I'm sorry. We could have saved him some trauma if we'd known this ahead of time, but of course there wasn't really any time given the state he arrived in. I'll make sure we have a nurse posted near his room at all times in case he wakes up again, and we'll have someone collect you to take you to him soon," I assured them.

There was the requisite round of handshakes, and Don offered a sincere and quietly appreciative 'thank you,' but I still heaved a sigh of relief when they filed out of the office and headed back to the waiting room. There was a _weight_ about their presences, an intensity that you just didn't feel in most people. It was no wonder they'd been making the other visitors anxious. Combined with the way Raph's eyes went dark when they spoke about what had happened to their brother…

It made me very glad, and not in a small way, that I'd been able to bring them good news rather than bad.

* * *

**Michelangelo**

* * *

It seemed to take forever to get up to Leo's room, once a nurse finally came to get us, and we all completely ignored the 'one at a time' suggestion and filed into the room together once she disappeared down the hall.

As much as I'd wanted to get in to see Leo…it was harder than I'd expected to see him there. My skin was crawling the whole time with the knowledge of how exposed we were in the hospital, how many eyes were on us, how many people were standing between us and the exit, and there Leo was, still and sedated in a hospital bed, completely defenseless.

I'd been driving myself nuts with memories of how Leo had looked after the Foot ambush, how hurt he'd been after our fight with Karai and the Shredder on his ship, but Leo actually looked better than I'd expected. He was pale, but I'd been volunteering at the hospital long enough to know that at least half of that was because of the lights. I'd been expecting him to be hooked up to a bunch of machines like on TV, but other two IVs, one in the back of his right hand and one in the crook of his left arm, and a pulse monitor clip on one forefinger, he didn't have anything else plugged into him. They'd put a hospital top on him, and the opening in the front showed glimpses of bulky white bandages at his shoulder.

But he was alive. The three of us just stood around the bed and watched him breathe for a while, and Raph looked shakier than I'd seen him look in years.

For a while it was just a matter of watching him sleep while Donnie paged through the charts at the end of his bed. It was close to twenty minutes before Leo stirred, and as soon as he did, Raph was right beside him on the side not taken up by equipment. Don and I crowded around the end of the bed; we weren't gonna argue with Raph about having dibs on being closest.

It kinda made my stomach hurt to see how hard it was for Leo to fight through the drugs and wake up. It took a couple minutes of him shifting before his eyes opened, his hands twitching first, and even then he blinked so slowly that it seemed like he'd fall back asleep any minute. He glanced around at us, smiling slightly, but it seemed to take him another pass before he realized we weren't at home. I think he wanted to sit up, but all he could manage was a frown, one hand fisting on the sheets as awareness and a hint of fear filled his eyes. "Where…?"

"You're at the hospital, Leo," Don said quickly. "You're alright; we all are. We've just been waiting for you to wake up."

He smiled tiredly. "S'prised you aren't tired of doin' that ev'ry time this happens."

I tried to grin back at him. "Oh, we are; we're just here for the nurses, bro."

Leo huffed out a short laugh. "I know _you_ are," he joked. He winced and raised a hand to his shoulder, his expression tightening suddenly as realization spread across his face. "Ryan, is he—"

"He's fine," Raph said gruffly. "Mike got him back, an' he's fine. Doin' a hell of a lot better'n you."

"That's not hard t'manage." Leo blinked like he was trying to clear his vision. "What do they have me on?"

"Stuff you can't pronounce, which is how you know it's good," I promised.

"It's a standard morphine drip and some saline solution," Don clarified. "Trust me when I say you need both."

"Mm." The lines around Leo's mouth tightened as he turned his head to glare at the IV in the back of his hand. "I trust you."

Raph gripped Leo's arm. "How're you feelin', bro?"

"Dunno. Tired. I can't think straight. It feels…" He frowned as he glanced down at his side, one hand hovering over the bandages that were obvious even beneath his hospital gown. "Feels like it should hurt, but I can't quite reach it. Don't think I like it."

Raph pushed Leo's hand back down. "You'd like it a hell of a lot less if you didn't have the drugs," he rumbled.

Something in his voice seemed to catch Leo's attention, because he rolled his head along the pillow to face Raph, slowly rotating his arm in Raph's grip to pat his elbow in return. "Raph, 'm alright, considering. Had worse." He frowned, blinking. "Right?"

"You've had worse," Don confirmed, dropping a hand on Leo's ankle and squeezing reassuringly. "Your shoulder is no worse it was last time. Better, probably, since their reconstructive skills here are better than mine. Your side…it was close, Leo. It nicked your kidney, and there—there was some internal bleeding, some repair work to do, but mostly just muscle. That definitely could have been worse."

Leo nodded, blinking slowly. "Ryan. He shoved Karai, messed up her strike. She was aiming for my gut," he said bluntly, and I tried not to wince, knowing he was drugged to the gills and never would have said this if he hadn't been stoned out of his mind. "Or spine, I dunno. Didn't ask. Either way, could've been a lot worse. Ryan shouldn't've had to see that, though; he's just a kid."

"He's a little shaken up, but he's okay," I told him, patting his shin. "It helps that you came through alright. He's been looking forward to seeing you; so have Chuck and Ryu."

"Karai knows where they live now," Leo breathed. "Knows we're all human." He switched to Japanese, speaking slowly. "Are we safe?"

"Safe as we can be," Don replied in kind. "They're only letting us in to see you for now, and anyone who isn't family has to sign in and be checked off a list of approved visitors."

Leo nodded and looked around the room, his expression making it obvious what he thought of the place. "How soon can I leave?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes; there were no words for how surprised I _wasn't_ that he was asking that already. "You're here for at least a week, Leo, and that's the best-case scenario," I informed him, pulling the conversation back into English.

Leo was shaking his head even as I finished. "Not stayin' here that long," he murmured. "I can heal up at home."

"You'll stay as long as you freakin' need to," Raph shot back.

"Not the boss of me," Leo muttered. He tried to shift himself and grimaced, his hand tightening visibly on the bed rail.

Raph leaned over him, planting one hand on Leo's chest and pinning him in place. "Till you can get out of this bed on your own an' prove otherwise, then yeah, I am the boss of you," he said lowly, his face dark. "I think peelin' you off a frickin' door gives me that authority."

Leo blinked at that, holding Raph's eyes as his tone finally seemed to break through the morphine haze. Leo's mouth relaxed slightly and he lifted his good arm to grip Raph's wrist. "Alright," he said quietly. "But someone's goin' t'have to bring me a book."

Raph's jaw ticked for a second like he wasn't willing to let it go yet, but he finally leaned back with what he probably thought was a sneaky pat to Leo's chest. "Fine."

"An' I'm not eating jello," Leo informed us. "An' we're breaking out of here at th'end of the week, like proper ninja. And—" His face went blank for a minute. "And I'm high, aren't I?"

"You always have been a little sensitive to pain meds," Don said agreeably while I snorted.

Leo shook his head with a frown. "This doesn't feel like just pain meds," he said slowly, like he was trying to be extra careful to not sound so messed up.

Don glanced at me, and I promptly touched my finger to my nose in the classic 'not it' pose. He sighed. "You're on more than we usually use at home, and you're also still on some sedatives. You woke up unexpectedly during the surgery, and were a little disoriented, so you got a bit…combative."

Raph had to shove his hand back onto Leo's chest to keep him from trying to sit up. "Did I hurt anyone?" Leo asked, looking sick.

"No, Leo, everyone's fine," I said quickly. "You were still pretty out of it, so the worst that happened is some guy got a bloody nose. Seriously, bro, that's it. Even the doctor said they've had worse."

He glanced between the three of us. "You swear. You're not just trying to keep me quiet."

"Because that's goin' so well for us," Raph snarked as he pushed Leo back down, gentle despite his tone. "We're serious, moron. You knocked someone into a wall an' smacked someone in the nose, so they drugged your ass again to prevent a repeat performance. That's it."

"They think you've been a victim of malpractice," Don said quietly with a glance at the door. "Mikey mentioned what happened with Bishop that one time, but kept it vague, made it sound like you got caught by a doctor who'd lost it. They don't know any specifics, they just know you hate hospitals and that's why you reacted the way you did."

Leo sighed and sagged back into the bed, closing his eyes. "I guess it could be worse. Has Karai…has anyone heard anything?"

I opened my mouth to sum up what I'd heard at Foot HQ, but Don made a quick slashing gesture across his throat and mouthed 'save it for later.' "Uh, current news is still what Raph said you both heard in the apartment, that she's bailing and leaving New York."

"But no one's found her?"

"Not that we know of," Don cut in. "Call us crazy, but our attention was more on you than her."

"Should be on both," Leo murmured, blinking up at the ceiling. He went to pick at his IV and sighed as Raph intercepted his hand with a swat. "Does she know I'm alive?"

"She had to know you weren't dead when she left," Raph growled. "Does it matter?"

Leo just looked at him. "After all the times assumptions have been made about people being dead, on our behalf and the Foot's, do you really think she's just going to be satisfied with thinking I was mostly dead when she left?"

"You're not mostly dead," I snapped. "You're not even close."

Leo stared at me, his eyes glassy with drugs and pain and fatigue, and I bit my tongue; there was no point getting mad at him when he was like this, because he running without his filters in place. We were getting the all-Leo channel, uncensored and not child-friendly. "I know. Sorry," he apologized. "I just meant…"

I nodded, patting his foot. "I know, just…don't say it like that, alright? I spent part of my afternoon running around—town not knowing if you were mostly dead or not, so just…"

"I didn't mean to upset you, I just meant…if there was one thing Karai wouldn't want to leave town without finishing…"

"We get it," Don said, cutting him off. "We haven't heard anything, but we'll talk to Chuck, see if he can get any information through his friends who are still on the force. And I can try to patch into—"

"Excuse me." We all turned to see a nurse at the door, smiling tightly at us, probably because of the blatant violation of the 'one at a time' rule. "I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave; visiting hours are almost over, and your brother needs to get some rest."

I glanced at the clock in the hall, surprised to see it was already almost eight. I made a face as I turned back to Leo, inching my way around the equipment to give him a careful half hug that was more good-intentioned hovering than actual contact. "Try and behave yourself, alright? We'll see you tomorrow."

Leo's hand tightened on my shoulder, unease flashing across his face. "You're not staying?"

"We can't stay overnight," Don told him quietly. "The hospital rules won't let us; on the bright side, that means you're not badly off at all. But we'll be back first thing tomorrow, and we'll work something out so that one or more of us is here all day. And we'll keep working on the doctors to let one of us stay here overnight."

Leo's jaw ticked and he nodded tightly as he settled back into the mattress. "Right. I'll see you tomorrow, then."

Don reached down to grip Leo's hand, both of their knuckles turning white. "Tomorrow," he promised. "You'll be fine; bored, but fine. The nurses will be just outside if you need anything."

I looked at Raph, judging the expression on his face, and snagged Don's elbow to tug him to the door; Raph obviously had something to say to Leo—or at least the first of many somethings. We could at least pretend we weren't listening, and run interference for another minute from the nurse.

Raph leaned down to brace his hand by Leo's left side and started to say something, then just sighed and dropped his forehead to Leo's good shoulder. "Don't you ever do that again," he said quietly.

"Raph—"

"Don't you _ever_," Raph repeated through gritted teeth. "Don't you make me stand there wonderin' if I'm hearin' you get killed less than half a foot away when I can't do a damn thing about it. I can't do that again."

Leo lifted his right hand up with a wince to clasp the side of Raph's neck. "Never again, if I can help it," he promised with a rasp.

Raph stood as Leo let him go, his jaw working hard, and just shook his head. "I'm gonna hold you to that."

A small smile tugged at Leo's mouth. "I expect nothing less. I'll see you tomorrow."

"We'll bring some stuff to keep you entertained," I offered as Don nudged me out the door, one eye on the nurse. "You just concentrate on healing and not terrorizing the staff."

"Sure. Night, guys."

"G'night, Leo."

We traipsed down the hall, and I sighed as the door to Leo's room disappeared around the corner. "This sucks."

"We know, Mikey," Don said tiredly.

"No, I mean it really sucks," I snapped. "Their rules are stupid; it's not like we're going to hurt Leo or any of the equipment in there just by sitting with him. And we _told_ the doctor what happened to Leo, they've seen for themselves that it'd be better if he had someone he recognized nearby. And Leo…" Leo was scared, or at least nervous, at the thought of spending the night alone in the hospital. There'd been something raw in his eyes when we'd said goodbye, and I hated it. I hated that he was here, I hated that he didn't feel safe, that we didn't know if he _was_ safe, and I hated the idea of going back to our apartment by myself. "He's totally gonna spend the entire night not sleeping unless they drug him, because there's no way he's gonna relax while he's in here."

"We know," Don repeated, patting my shoulder. "We'll do what we can. We'll be here as often as we can during the day, so maybe Leo can rest then. Besides, now that Leo's settled, maybe we'll be able to work on convincing his doctor to talk to the nurses about letting us stay during the nights; if nothing else, the benefit for them is that we won't have to be underfoot all day long if we know Leo's at least sleeping at night. And if worse comes to worst…"

"What?" Raph asked flatly. His hands flexing in and out of fists, and I was kind of thinking Donnie was going to be going back to their place alone; Raph looked ready to explode. He'd been all but vibrating from tension ever since we'd gotten to the hospital, not that I could blame him, and the fact that he'd been so quiet was pretty much a dead giveaway that he was trying to keep it under control. I reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged me off with a sharp twitch.

"Well, I've very carefully kept from mentioning to Leo that hospital patients have the option to sign themselves out AMA—against medical advice," Don clarified. "It basically means leaving before the doctors really recommend that you should or before you're fully healed. We all know that if Leo learns that that's an option, he'll be out of here as soon as he can sign the papers and find the door. But if we can't find a way to keep him calm, we might just have to tell him about that and let him heal up at home; it's not going to do anything for his recovery if he's tense and not sleeping while he's here…especially if the nurses decided to sedate him for his own good."

I perked up. "If that's an option, why not just go with it?" I asked. "Seriously, it's not like we haven't taken care of injuries like this at home before—"

"We haven't," Don cut me off, his face grim. "Not like this, Mikey. You don't mess with internal injuries. Broken bones are one thing; we've obviously had plenty of experience with those. Sprains, minor sword wounds, gunshot wounds, all those I can handle for the most part, but I am not equipped or skilled for something as serious as abdominal surgery."

"But you're not going to be operating on him," I argued. I liked that the hospital was able to keep Leo on higher levels of morphine than we ever could, but I hated him being there alone, and he obviously did too. "It'd just be a matter of keeping him quiet, and we have tons of experience with that."

Raph snorted. "Yeah, an' some of it's even successful experience," he drawled.

Don shook his head and gestured us into the stairwell and out of the bustle of the hallway. "That's only assuming nothing goes wrong," he pointed out as the stairway door closed behind us.

"Who says anything's going to go wrong?" I asked, dodging as Raph brushed past me to lead the way down the stairs at a determined pace that was just shy of a full-on charge. I had a feeling Raph had reached his limit on how much worry and anger he could take in a day without needing to find some way to vent. I really didn't want to think about how much Raph had to vent today, and I didn't think anyone in New York did either. These kinds of moods weren't pleasant for anyone involved, when we weren't sure if it'd be better to let him go blow off some steam, or to try and keep him home where he wouldn't do something he'd regret.

"What about this has gone right, Mikey?" Don countered, glaring at Raph's back in exasperation even as he picked up the pace to try and keep up. "Karai knows where we live now, and you know Leo's right with what he said about her not leaving loose ends. Do you really think it'd be a good idea to take Leo back to the one place Karai knows to check when he's injured? He'd be a sitting duck; _we'd_ be sitting ducks. Nothing about this has gone to plan, and the only thing we can be sure of with our luck is that we probably won't have any, or that what we do have will be bad—case in point," he bit out with a sharp gesture at the hospital around us.

I couldn't help blinking at the bitterness in Donnie's voice. He wasn't just worried, he was _pissed_, because he didn't usually get snappy like this otherwise. "Okay, so maybe it's not the best idea, but I just…I don't want to leave him here."

"And I do?" Don sighed, rubbing at the back of his neck as his shoulders slumped. "I didn't mean to snap, Mikey; I don't like this any better than you do. But the fact of the matter is that right now, Leo's safer here. Karai's well known enough that everyone will recognize her, so it's not like she could get far if she did just walk in here. Besides, Leo's several floors up, and the kinds of windows in here aren't meant to be easily broken, so Karai doesn't really have the option of just climbing up the side of the building. Even though it's a public building, of our current options, this is safer than either of our apartments for the time being. In the mean time, the three of us—"

"Don't factor me into any plans for the next few hours, Don," Raph rumbled as he shoved the stairwell door open and strode into the lobby, making for the main entrance.

"Raph—"

"I'll be back later," he threw over his shoulder, not even glancing at the chairs where April, Casey, and the others were sitting.

Donnie lunged forward to snag Raph by the bicep. "Raph, we should stay together, and you shouldn't be out there tonight of all nights. Can't you just—"

"No, I can't," Raph growled. "I've put up with as much sittin' by as I can for today."

"It's not safe."

Raph just looked at Don, his eyes dark. "Of all the people out there tonight, I'm not the one you should worry about bein' safe," he said lowly, jerking his arm out of Don's grip.

"We need to—don't just—"

Raph was out the door a second later. Don sighed and shook his head. "Right, of course. Great."

Casey got to his feet, dropping a kiss on April's forehead. "Babe, I'm gonna—" He jerked a thumb in the direction Raph had gone.

April nodded. "Go," she urged him. "He needs someone right now. Bring him back to our place whenever you're done."

Casey tossed a sloppy salute at us and loped out the door after Raph.

Don sighed. "Well, at least he stayed as long as he did," he commented tiredly, his tone full of long-suffering.

"He's got a lot to work through," Chuck pointed out quietly, an arm around Ryan's shoulders where he'd fallen asleep against Chuck's side. "Any news on Leo?"

"He woke up while we were there, and he was coherent and as good as could be expected," Don reported. "They've got him on some decently heavy painkillers, so that will help. According to his charts, his stats are all good, and his blood pressure is back into a more normal range. They have him on saline to keep regulating his blood levels and keep him hydrated, but he's done with the transfusions, at least." He ground the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Basically, for someone who got stabbed twice earlier today, he's doing fairly well, all things considered. They're not letting us stay with him overnight, though, so we've been kicked out for the night. He'll be allowed to have visitors other than family starting tomorrow, and I've put all your names on the accepted visitors list."

April pressed a hand to her chest and sighed, her shoulders dropping several inches. "Thank goodness he's alright, considering. How long is he going to be in here?"

"At least a week, according to the doc," I said glumly. "Assuming he doesn't break out on his own or drive them crazy to the point that they kick him out sooner, anyway."

April looked like she didn't know whether to be amused or sympathetic. "I wish I didn't know that you're serious and probably right. We'll just do what we can."

Chuck got to his feet, shaking Ryan awake and sending him staggering half-asleep toward the exit with Ryu. "In that case, we'll see you all tomorrow at some point. Ryan needs some sleep and some quiet, and we have a little bit of cleanup to take care of too."

I reached out to snag Chuck's elbow. "I really am sorry this all went down like it did. I never wanted you guys to be in danger just for knowing me."

Chuck shook his head. "Apology accepted but unneeded; Leo beat you to it. Besides, none of what happened was anything you could control, and we knew what we were getting into going into this. Today was definitely not something I ever wanted Ryan to have to go through, but it's over and he's safe and you did everything you could to set things right. You saved him, at what I'm guessing was great personal risk, and as far as I'm concerned, that evens everything out."

Part of me felt like it'd be easier if he just blamed me, but I was also seriously glad he wasn't swearing us off. "I can at least promise that it won't happen again," I offered hesitantly. "Assuming Karai hasn't left town, the first place she'll know to look for us will be our apartments. And I'll stick to visiting with you guys here instead of at your place for a while, just in case."

"That's good to know," Chuck admitted. "I can't have Ryan going through something like that again, for his sake or mine, but if he can shake it off, I can't see how I could do any less."

He waved and headed out the door after Ryu and Ryan, and I sighed, wondering if this was the kind of guilt Leo normally went around saddling himself with. If it was, it sucked. "I forgot to apologize to Ryan," I realized, not sure who I was talking to.

"Even if you had, he was so wrung out he could barely walk, let alone understand you," April said matter-of-factly. "If you're still feeling guilty tomorrow, you can apologize then. For now let's just get you home; as soon as you wind down from the last of the adrenaline, all this stress is going to drop you guys hard, and I want you to eat something before you pass out for a few hours."

I blinked at the idea. I felt too wired to even think about sleeping—not to mention I really didn't want to see what my brain would come up with dream-wise after all this—but now that April had mentioned it, I was pretty much starving. "I think we still have some leftovers in the—"

"Uh-uh," April interrupted, shaking her head as she grabbed her purse and threaded her free arm through mine. "You're coming back to my place with me. Some of your things are already there, and you know it's safer."

"Are you sure? It's not really…" I didn't know what it wasn't—a good idea, maybe, or safe, that was arguable—but I felt like someone had to make the objection Leo probably would.

"I'm sure. Plus you don't really have a choice; I have your cat," she informed me loftily.

I'd forgotten that she and Casey had agreed to watch him, back when we'd made our war plans; it seemed like yesterday or last week, not eight-ish hours ago. "You're holding Klunk hostage?" I asked, bewildered and wondering if I should feel indignant. I had trouble getting past the mental image of him in a tiny prison uniform.

"Technically she's leveraging him in an extortion act," Don corrected tiredly as we headed for the exit. "You get your cat back when she gets her way."

"Listen to your smart brother," April advised, "the smart brother who is also coming with us."

"April, I need to—"

"Whatever you think you need to do, it can be done at my place or it can wait until tomorrow," April cut in firmly. "Donnie, you're both just about done in, and you can't tell me you're in any shape to stay up all night on watch in your apartment by yourself. You have some of your equipment at my place as it is, if you absolutely have to work on anything tonight, and you can get the rest tomorrow. You guys need rest, and family, and to not be alone right now." She snagged Don with an arm around his neck and pulled him into a hug. "And I need to keep you guys somewhere I can see you. Casey will look out for Raph, and they'll be coming back to our place later as well. See how much sense I'm making?"

Don had always been the smart one, so he at least knew when it was time to cave. "Yeah. Thanks, April."

"You're always welcome."

She nudged Donnie toward the driver's side of his car and waited for him to unlock it so we could pile into the back. It was a quiet drive back to April and Casey's place, and I tried to track the day and what had happened, but it was all just a blur. It felt like one of those old slide projectors, where on one slide we were Don and Raph's, the next I was at April's, and then the slide after that was just a big explosion; it was hard to remember anything specific from any of the in-between times, other than our meeting, getting the call from Don, rescuing Ryan, and then seeing Leo in the hospital. The idea of having some time to decompress and try to process things, while still having people around to pull me out of my head if I needed it, sounded really good.

I leaned my head against the window, looking out at the city as it got darker and the lights started to come on. I wondered where Raph and Casey were, if a few hours of beating people up were really going to be enough for Raph to get his head on straight again after today. Wherever they were, I hope it helped, and I hoped they were careful.

Most of all, I hoped this was the end of our luck going bad.

* * *

**A/N**: As always, let me know what you think! Concrit and reviews are always welcome, and thanks for reading!


	23. Chapter 23

_**Disclaimer**__: see previous chapters._

I swear I'm not dead, though you guys would be well within your rights to want to see me that way after a four-month delay. Life has been nuts lately, thanks mainly to work; the holidays can be a headache to work around in publishing, but things have finally eased up a bit. I wish I could devote more of my week this getting this finished, but given that working evenings is not an unusual occurrence for me, I can't. I can tell you that we're almost to the end, though; it's hard to estimate, but I'd say there are roughly four chapters or less left in this fic (including this one). And since I got my brain timeline messed up a bit while I was writing this chapter, I ended up having to reorder it a bit, which accounted for some of the delay but also means that the next chapter is about halfway done, and unless work implodes, should be up in a few weeks. And I actually should be able to hold to that, this time. .

Endless love to **TGabbyS, ShadowDreamer33, mcmario, D'Fuentes, Karlina101, cuzimaw3some317, Mourning Star under the Moon, teenagejustuce, Yolinanimai, BraveChicken, TurquoisePanda, Silver Lightning Blade, Sunny Lighter, Hily, majorbookluver, Amy Hamato, greshunkai, Sabrinasidd, TMNTfan95, **and** Akirafanatic** for reviewing. As always, you guys make all the work on this monster totally worth it, and it's great to know people are enjoying the story.

Thanks again for your patience and support, and I hope this chapter is at least a little worth the wait. (Also, please forgive any liberties I've taken with the goings-on of a hospital; I have a sister who's a nurse, and I've read a lot, but that's about as far as my secondhand knowledge goes. ^_^;;)

* * *

**Casey Jones**

* * *

Even hittin' the door just a few seconds after Raph, I barely managed to catch up with him as he took off down the sidewalk. I could tell from the look on his face—hell, anyone prob'ly could—that it wasn't gonna be a good night. Someone was gonna end up with somethin' broken, an' if we were lucky, it wasn't gonna be us. Once I figured out Raph was headed for the park, I just concentrated on keepin' up with him an' warnin' off anyone who thought they wanted to complain when he shoved by them on the sidewalk.

Raph and I gone out to raise hell an' hunt down Purple Dragons an' patrol the streets more times than I could count by this point, an' if there was anything I'd learned, it was that Raph liked havin' me along not just 'cause we were friends, but also 'cause we got each other. I knew what it was like to be a little too hotheaded sometimes and what it was like to need someone to remind me not to go too far. We knew how to do that for each other, an' we didn't judge each other for needin' that; it was a good system.

'Course, it generally worked better if we weren't both really mad at the same time. I knew I wasn't at the nuclear holocaust levels of pissed Raph was reachin', but I'd seen the guys beat to hell way too many times—and now, when they were s'posed to be safe, Leo'd landed himself in the hospital. _Karai_ had landed him in the hospital. I was worried and pissed about it, but Raph…Raph was a bad kind of quiet. He didn't get quiet when he was mad—that was more of Donnie's thing. Raph exploded when he was pissed; it was loud an' messy' an' the collateral damage could get ugly, but he got mad and then got over it.

But when things got really bad, when he'd taken too much, he got real quiet, an' that was a sign that absolutely anythin' could set him off. That was the kinda quiet I was lookin' at, which meant I'd just have to be pissed tomorrow; tonight I just had to let Raph get it out of his system, an' make sure he didn't kill anyone.

"You got any weapons on you?" I asked as we hit the park, because my other job was to make sure he didn't get himself killed either. It was late enough that all the upstandin' citizens were gone, and the only ones left were us, the squatters, and the kind of people we were lookin' to beat down.

Raph shook his head. "I'd've brought my sai, but they would've set off the metal detectors at the hospital. I don't need anythin'."

I nodded slowly. "Don't need anythin', or shouldn't have anythin'?" I asked.

His head ticked to the side. "…Shouldn't have anything," he said lowly. "Not tonight."

It said a lot that Raph was afraid of what would happen if he went out armed; he hadn't had a night this bad in a while. Still, he was right in that he didn't really need any weapons; against people with anythin' short of guns, he and the rest of the guys were weapons enough in an' of themselves. "Whadda ya need, Raph?"

"A sword in Karai's gut," he growled. He pivoted to slam his fist into a tree, his shoulders shakin' as he leaned his forehead against it. "I've never hated anyone like her, Case, not even the Shredder. I wanna wreck her for what she's done to Leo an' us. Nothin' I'd do if I saw her now would be anythin' Sensei could be proud of."

"But you still want to go."

I didn't need to hear his whisper of "yeah" to see the fierce agreement on his face.

"But you're not gonna, are you." It wasn't a question. Raph didn't hang around worryin' about stuff; he made decisions an' then he acted on 'em. If he was botherin' to even say this to me, he was tryin' to talk himself out of it.

"I can't," he gritted out. "We don't even know where the hell she is. She's not so stupid that she wouldn't have left the tower by now; she'd run from the cops even if she wouldn't run from us. An' even if I knew where she was, she's just like her old man, too much of a coward to face any of us alone. I can't risk gettin' taken out now, not when we've already got Leo outta commission." His face twisted. "Even though she'd prob'ly be easy to find, runnin' like she is. Even though she deserves to know what it's like to be hunted."

That was gettin' a little too close to Raph talkin' himself into it. I took a breath and shoved him away from the tree, gettin' right in his face. "Then if there's nothin' you can do about it at the moment, let it go—for now," I emphasized when he snarled at me. "Look, Raph, chances are she'll come to us, if she knows Leo's still alive. An' if that happens, do you want to be there to give her what's comin' to her, or do you want to be hangin' out in your own hospital bed? Besides, even if she runs, did you forget the part where you're friends with a magical nexus-realm-whatever guy with a staff that can send people anywhere? There's nowhere she can go that you can't find her."

"A promise of takin' her down later doesn't help me now, Case," Raph whispered, pushin' away from me to run a hand through his hair. "I can't stop seein' Leo pinned to that door. Karai left him pinned there like a damn bug, like he meant nothin'—like he of all people deserved to go out like that. And if their building hadn't had a fire escape, I'da been stuck there to hear Leo die like that." His hands shook. "Three frickin' inches away, an' I couldn't even get to 'im. I keep seein' him there, keep seein' that damn sword comin' through the door an' knowin' it went through him first. I gotta stop seein' that."

"I know, Raph." Much as April and I had wanted to check on Leo for ourselves, I was a little glad we wouldn't see Leo until tomorrow, when he was lookin' better. "Do you want me here?"

He nodded tightly. "Yeah, Case. I don't—I shouldn't be…it's better if you're here."

Meanin' he didn't like to think about what he'd do if he didn't have anyone to hold him back tonight. I remembered days like that, after my dad died, when Ma was the only thing keepin' me from goin' off the deep end or landin' myself in jail for killin' someone. I'd been headin' there anyway, even with Ma around, before I met Raph and the guys. "Alright. You wanna head down to Queens? From what I heard, they've got some sorta initiation thing goin' on in that area for one of the Dragon's rival gangs. Groups are gonna be out around town, provin' who's tough by rippin' off stores, targetin' civilians and any Dragons that are on their own, stuff like that."

April would've said it was a stupid thing to suggest, and maybe it was, but runnin' around Central Park lookin' for trouble wasn't gonna cut it for Raph tonight. He needed to stay busy, an' I got that. When there was someone you owed a beat-down, but you couldn't get to them, sometimes the only thing that kept you from goin' crazy was takin' care of other people who were just as bad; Raph couldn't do anything about Karai, not right now, at least, but there had to be someone out there doin' somethin' they shouldn't, an' we could at least make them pay for it.

Sometimes that was all you had.

He nodded slowly. "Yeah. Sounds good." He hesitated, lookin' over the skyline to where we could just barely see the Foot symbol at the top of the tower. "Look, Case, don't let me…"

I clapped my hand on his shoulder an' nodded. "Nothin' you'd regret tomorrow, Raph; I promise." Because that was what mattered to both of us—it was no good goin' out to take down muggers and abusers and assholes like that if you ended up becomin' just as bad as they were in the process.

Raph nodded and set out across the park in the direction that would take us straight to the worst kinda action we could hope to find tonight. I cracked my neck an' rolled my shoulders, psychin' myself up for what was definitely gonna be a long night, and followed him past the reach of the streetlamps.

* * *

**Donatello**

* * *

We were all up early the next day, to get to the hospital soon after visiting hours started…even Raph, despite how little sleep he'd gotten. He and Casey had come back late last night—or technically very, very early that morning.

Mikey and I had been camped out in the living room, and I'd levered myself off of April's couch long enough to chance a look at them. They both looked liked they'd had a busy night; Raph had the beginnings of what I was willing to bet would be a spectacular black eye, and Casey had a darkening bruise shadowing the edge of his jaw. Both of them were likely hiding more bruises or cuts beneath shirts and jeans that were obviously ripped, but they both moved without any signs of pain, and Casey gave me an easy thumbs-up.

Equally importantly, some of the desperation and darkness had been gone from Raph's face as he kicked off his shoes and padded over toward us. I had dropped a hand over the arm of the couch to dig into my bag and pull out a clean shirt and some pants to throw at Raph. He caught them with a nod as he disappeared into the bathroom for a minute, and returned with damp hair and the clean clothes on. I had stayed awake long enough to hear Casey tell Raph not to bleed on the armchair before Raph dragged a hand gently across the top of my head and Mikey's, where he was sprawled on the floor after falling out of the other chair. I remembered Raph draping himself in the free chair, just watching us, and then I was gone.

Raph had still been quiet in the morning, but he hadn't shrugged off the hug Mikey greeted him with when he woke up, and he met our eyes easily. I knew not to press; whatever had happened last night, it had helped, and Raph obviously hadn't done anything he couldn't forgive himself for—and he was always his own worst critic. I made a mental note to check on Casey and thank him when I could get him alone, then went back to herding Mikey so we could get to the hospital sooner. I could hear April and Casey stirring down the hall, and knew they'd catch up to us at the hospital when they were ready.

There weren't as many people with us in the waiting room at such an early hour, which was understandable; most people weren't up so early unless they had to be, but it was old habit for us. We checked in with the nurse at the front desk, only to be told that we'd have to wait a few minutes while the nurses on Leo's floor finished up their rounds. Mikey grumbled at that a bit, but brightened up when the woman told Mikey with a sly smile that Leah was in this morning as well. Raph rolled his eyes at Mikey's dopey grin as we towed him out of the way to grab some seats.

"So are we going to get to meet her at some point?" I asked archly.

Mikey eyed us warily. "Depends. Are you guys gonna behave yourselves?"

"You mean will I harass you about your date and blare Disney music as loudly as possible through the nearest set of speakers?" I retorted, recalling with painful clarity how Raph and Mikey had confronted me after my first date with Nikki…whom, I realized with a startle, I hadn't seen in a while, let alone thought about. But…we'd been busy. It was understandable, right?

Mikey at least had the grace to wince sheepishly. "Okay, yeah, so I probably should have realized that would come back with a vengeance."

"We'll save the hazing and humiliation for when we aren't in public," I promised, making a mental note to call Nikki sometime soon.

"Speak for yourself," Raph drawled, one eyebrow arched in Mikey's direction as a slow smirk spread across his face.

"Okay, Donnie, _you_ can meet her; Raph, no way. Not 'til Leo gets here—'til Leo's here to make you behave," he said, making a face as he remembered Leo already was there—had beat us to the hospital, as a matter of fact.

"Because that's gone so well for him in the past," I said wryly, trying to fight the way Mikey's smile was slipping. "So how did your date go? We never got any details."

The dopey smile made a reappearance. "It was good. I don't think I messed anything up, and she says she wants to see if this goes anywhere, so…"

I stifled a laugh at his undulating shrug. "You don't _think_ you messed anything up?"

"I have no idea what dates are supposed to be like, bro," he admitted. "But it was…it was good. I had fun, and I think she did too. I told her about us, a little, and I don't think she thinks we're weird. I mean, I told her about how it was just the five of us, and what it's like to just have that and to know you can count on it, and it seemed like she got it, you know? She's just great, Donnie. She's tough, too; I had to do a gymnastics routine to get her to agree to go out with me in the first place."

Raph blinked. "What, here?"

"No, she volunteers as a coach with kids at a local gymnasium," Mikey explained. "I went there one time to drop off something for her from the hospital and asked her out, and she told me we'd go if I could do a simple routine."

"Except you of course had an unfair advantage," I said with a laugh. "Was it actually simple?"

"For us? Totally, it was stuff we were doing back when we first started. Some cartwheels, a handspring, a flip, that sort of thing. Would it have been simple for a regular person? Probably not."

"So she didn't think you could do it?"

Mikey hummed thoughtfully. "I think she was setting me up to see how serious I was about it…whether I was willing to work for it, you know? Plus we were in front of the kids."

"I like her mean streak," Raph offered.

"I don't think it was about being mean," Mikey argued. "…Okay, well, maybe a little, but it made sense to me; if I wasn't willing to at least try, and maybe risk looking stupid, she wouldn't have thought I was serious. And she apparently got jerked around by the guy she dated last, so I get it. Besides, I've looked stupid for a lot less."

"Ain't that the truth," Raph teased.

"But it was a moot point worrying anyway, since you could pull it off," I pointed out, intercepting the smack Mikey aimed at Raph.

"I nailed it," he confirmed. "Master Splinter would've disowned me if I hadn't. But she wasn't just looking for an excuse to say no; she said I could try as many times as I wanted." He grinned at the ceiling. "And I would have kept trying, too."

I laughed. "I bet. Well, either way, I think it's good that you found someone who is going to make you work for it, Mikey," I told him with a smile.

He stuck his tongue out at me and took a breath to respond when a woman paused in front of us.

"Wait…Mike? Mike Hamand?"

Raph and I got to our feet behind Mikey, who was frowning like he was trying to place her and the older man with her. Whoever she was, she was pretty, tall with large dark eyes and a long braid trailing over her shoulder, of Native American heritage, if I had to guess. The Asian man behind her was about Sensei's age, if I had to guess, with a placid, open expression. "Yeah," Mikey said slowly. "Who're you?"

She glanced between us expectantly, her expression falling slightly at the lack of reaction. "Leo…I don't know if he mentioned us, if he mentioned _anything_," she continued, and the annoyance in that emphasis was really familiar to anyone who'd dealt with Leo's tendency to keep things to himself, "but did he ever talk about going to a dojo…? I'm Naomi, and this is my father, Hitoshi."

Mikey's eyes went wide. "Oh, yeah! You're the one who got Leo his job."

"I merely made the introductions," Hitoshi said with a smile. He wasn't much taller than Mikey, wiry and obviously still active despite the gray creeping into his hair, with more laugh lines than worry lines etched into his face. "Leonardo-san stumbled upon my dojo months ago, and has been a welcome visitor since then."

"Leo totally mentioned you guys," Mikey said, offering them his hand and ignoring Raph as he grumbled wordlessly about the delay in explanations. "He just totally failed to give us any idea of who to look for. I'm Mike, and this is Raph and Don." He glanced at us, grinning. "This is the guy who introduced Leo to Seiichi and got him the job, and his daughter is, uh…" He glanced back at her quickly, his smile turning mischievous. "Rae's friend."

There was a pause where Raph and I had to process why that mattered, but Raph smirked slightly at the same time as the light bulb went off over my head. Rae's friend meant Leo's enforced blind date.

Well. That was an interesting set of connections. I glanced off to the side with a cough, trying not to look as curious as I was about whoever Leo'd gone out with, and spied April and Casey at the door. I waved and gestured them over.

Naomi leveled a look at Mikey, like she maybe wanted to smack him but wouldn't since she hardly knew him; I could have told her that she was well within her rights to do so. Still, something else was pushing at the back of my brain. "Naomi…how did you know to come here?"

Mikey's eyes widened. "Karai didn't come back to your place again, did she?"

Hitoshi shook his head. "No, we haven't seen her again, nor anyone suspicious outside the dojo."

We all deflated a little. "Then how did you…?"

"We talked on the phone a bit earlier this morning," April said, sidling up beside us to smile at Naomi and extend a hand. "I'm April; it's nice to get to meet you in person. She wanted to introduce herself so I'd know who Leo had given my number to," she explained.

Naomi took her hand with a small smile. "I didn't expect her to have any news, especially not the kind she did. How…how's Leo?"

That killed Mikey's smile pretty effectively. He glanced at me, questioning, and I took over; I was used to being the one to give explanations when people were injured. "He's…been better," I hedged, leaving out the fact that he'd also been a lot worse; they didn't need to know that. "He's out of surgery, and he's recovering. There's no infection so far, and the doctors say he'll be out of here in maybe a week."

"Recovering," Naomi repeated.

I nodded, not willing to say more. The three of us had gotten tired of the gaping incredulity after the first few times we had to tell a doctor or nurse that yes, our brother was hospitalized for blade wounds, and no, we didn't particularly care to share why. Even if Leo had told Naomi and Hitoshi about our past with Karai, I'd bet my bo _and_ the entire contents of my lab that he'd glossed over exactly how violent things got between us, which meant there wasn't really any good way to explain how Leo was doing without getting graphic.

She glanced between the three of us, her eyes dark with worry. "April said she didn't want to share much over the phone. Was…was it Karai?"

Raph's jaw ticked at the name. "Yeah."

"Are you all okay? Leo was worried about Karai following him back to you. The way he described things with her…" She gripped her elbows, looking unsettled as she trailed off.

It was really not her fault that that had been the wrong thing to say. None of us were fond of Leo's tendency to worry about threats to us more than threats to himself, Raph least of all. And when you added that to Leo getting hurt and Raph being unable to help despite being right there…

Well, he'd reacted worse to less.

"We're fine," Raph said shortly. "We have the training to deal with it."

I didn't know why Raph was being so abrasive, if it was just his usual automatic reaction to one of us getting hurt, or if he just didn't like the idea of someone else who wasn't family getting involved. Either way, the emphasis he'd put on 'we' was noticeable to anyone with ears, and Naomi was obviously not someone who was slow on the uptake.

Naomi's mouth tightened as she folded her arms, eyes snapping. "I know. Leo was particularly clear on that point when he told us about Karai."

I had to give her credit for standing up to him; Raph was a lot to handle for a stranger, especially when he was caught in a less than stellar mood, but Naomi seemed more inclined to fire back at him than to back off under his temper. I could have sworn something like grudging admiration flashed across Raph's face for an instant before annoyance suppressed it. "An' what exactly did he tell ya?"

"How, _exactly_, is Leo hurt?" Naomi countered tartly. Raph didn't say a thing, and Naomi simply shifted her weight to one hip, raising an eyebrow at him and giving the unshakeable impression that she could and would wait as long as it took.

Immovable object, meet immovable object. I could sense the headaches already.

Mikey eased forward to tug Raph back a little, grabbing Naomi's attention. "Leo got attacked by Karai," he offered, giving Raph a stealthy jab in the side.

She didn't move. "And by attacked you mean…?"

He grimaced slightly. "She…got him with a sword. Shoulder and hip," he hedged, and if he hadn't been talking about our brother, it almost would have been funny to hear Mikey try to find a way to say Leo had been stabbed without making it sound as bad as it was. Almost.

Her eyes widened. "She _what_?"

Mikey nodded, his expression apologetic. "But he really is gonna be okay."

Naomi's fingers clenched on her arms briefly before she sagged a bit, sighing in obvious relief, while Hitoshi also let out a breath. However well they did or didn't know Leo, they obviously cared about him, and that was a mark in their favor in my mind. I couldn't help wondering, though, just how much time Leo had to have spent at the dojo for them to worry so much.

Raph grumbled at Mikey as he shrugged his hand off. I had no idea why he seemed so bothered by Naomi and Hitoshi being here. It shouldn't be that he thought they were intruding, since Chuck and Ryu had waited with us yesterday, unless…oh. Unless he was worried about Leo, and whether Naomi would turn out to be another Karai. I restrained a sigh; he could be so stupid in terms of how he went about being protective sometimes. One bad choice hardly meant that Leo had horrible taste in women, especially since things had never been like that between him and Karai.

Hitoshi patted Naomi's shoulder, and turned a smile toward us. I had no idea what he was thinking of this whole situation, because it seemed like it didn't faze him at all. Whatever he thought, he met Raph's eyes calmly. "I don't know if Leonardo-san explained the situation, but Oroku-san visited our dojo the other day, asking about Leonardo-san and his whereabouts," he said, obviously sensing that we were curious about their presence. "As I didn't know anything, I sadly had to tell her I could not help her. She was rather disappointed with the news."

Raph snorted. "Disappointed," he repeated, deadpan. I could see a smirk curling at the corner of his mouth despite his best efforts.

Hitoshi nodded serenely. "Indeed. And oddly enough, she wasn't very appreciative when I offered to let Leonardo-san know she'd stopped by. Nor was Leonardo-san very happy to hear she'd come looking for him. He told us what I am sure is the shortest possible version of your story, that Oroku-san's father killed your father's sensei, and passed the feud on to her. He mentioned that there were a few…confrontations, one of which finally saw Oroku-san's father imprisoned, which your brother said Oroku-san blamed him for." He looked around, some of the humor falling from his face. "From what he said—and what he very carefully didn't say—it was obvious that he expected things might go badly. I must admit, though, we did not expect that they would go quite this badly quite this soon."

Mikey shrugged. "That's kind of the way our luck goes sometimes. Or, you know, most of the time. It's a thing."

Hitoshi's mouth curved ruefully. "Leonardo-san mentioned that when he explained that he would be absent for a while. He added that he might not even be gone long enough for us to miss him," he said, his expression slightly exasperated. "I imagined he was trying, however unsuccessfully, to be reassuring; I never imagined that he would end up being right."

I fought the urge to drop my face in my hands; it was such a Leo thing to say. "This is…a rather quick turnaround, even for us," I offered lamely.

Hitoshi nodded. "Is Leonardo-san…able to have visitors?" he asked carefully.

I felt sort of guilty at the hesitance in his voice; after the reception they'd gotten, he obviously didn't know if they'd be welcome in asking to see him. We were so used to it being just us and Casey and April, but Hitoshi and Naomi obviously cared about Leo too, and we had no right to stand in the way if they wanted to check on him, especially since they'd been dragged into things with us. "He is. He might be sort of out of it, though."

"I can take you up if you want," Mikey offered. "You'll have to sign in, though; given what happened with Karai, they're keeping track of who goes in to see him, but we can add you guys to the list of approved visitors."

Naomi smiled gratefully at him. "I'd appreciate that."

Mikey grinned back at her, and I started to wonder what all Leo might have told him about Naomi; Mikey was ready and willing to be friends with just about anyone, but he seemed especially eager to make a good impression with Naomi. As he led them toward the elevator, I caught April smothering a smile in my peripherals, and edged toward her.

"So you called her this morning? I don't remember hearing any phone calls," I said pointedly, keeping my tone conversational as Raph scowled his way over to one of the vending machines.

"Well, you guys did leave fairly early," April replied innocently.

"We did," I agreed, my voice bland. "And you said you'd be right behind us, and were rather vague on why you wanted to come separately."

She tried to scowl at me, though it was ruined by the completely unrepentant smile that snuck through. "You are horrible for being sneaky around," she informed me.

I shrugged. "Ninja," I replied. "One of the many hazards of being friends with us; we're hard to out-sneak."

"It's a trial," she agreed. She glanced at me sidelong, smiling ruefully. "Since you're being nosy, I was curious about her; you can't fault me for that. And I knew she and her father would want to be here, it just took me a while to remember them. It's been just us for so long that I'm used to only counting to seven after fights, to make sure everyone's safe. But after we got to the hospital yesterday I was just sitting here thinking that for all you guys have done, there should be more people there to wait with you…and then I remembered that there finally were."

"Why didn't you call them then?"

April tilted her head to the side in a shrug. "That first day, I wanted it to be just us. It _needed_ to be just us. Between the doctors and nurses and police and paperwork, you'd all had enough people nagging and sticking their noses into things, and I wanted you to have a break; no more questions, no more explanations, just…time to get yourselves under control, to find your centers in each other. And beyond that…" She glanced over to where Raph stood near the door, his expression closed-off and considering. "I wanted you guys to give them a chance."

That took me aback. "You didn't think we would?" It was obvious from Leo's stories about them—few and far between, but fond when he was willing to share them—that Hitoshi and Naomi were important to him, and we knew how few people he had outside of us; we wouldn't do anything to risk that.

She just looked at me, one eyebrow raised. "Leo is hurt, badly, and in the hospital. You're surrounded by strangers, with Leo's health and safety out of your hands, and the enemy that put him here is possibly still running around the city. And on top of that, you have strangers coming up to you, prying for more details about Leo," she said, ticking each item off on her fingers. "Are you really going to try and tell me that you would have treated Naomi and Hitoshi fairly, rather than resenting them for presuming to show up like they have a claim on Leo too?"

I opened my mouth to defend myself, but closed it before I got the first syllable out. I liked to think that we would have been glad to see Naomi and Hitoshi, grateful to have proof that Leo's trust in them wasn't misplaced, that they cared about him…but I was thinking that a day after the fact. After, like April had said, I'd had time to compose myself, to get positive updates from the surgeon and see with my own eyes that Leo was alright. With distance from the attack, a few hours of watching Leo breathe easily on his own, and the assurance that the rest of my family was safe around me…yes, I was glad to meet Leo's friends, gratified to have more people to join us in the vigil.

But yesterday…I thought about being stuck in traffic, swearing at the cars and people around me that were keeping me from my brother, constantly feeling like I was only two minutes from just getting out of the car and running to the hospital. I remembered thinking I'd be glad for the excuse to go through anyone who tried to stop me. I remembered the way Raph had been one wrong word away from taking someone apart, the way Mikey had been pale and hungry for reassurance.

No, Naomi and Hitoshi wouldn't have been welcome yesterday.

"It was probably better that you waited," I admitted. "I'm glad you called them, though."

"So am I."

Her tone caught my attention, and I glanced over to see her eyeing the elevator Mikey, Naomi, and Hitoshi had taken. "What did you see or hear that we didn't?"

April's smile was vaguely smug and gave absolutely nothing away. "Nothing that's mine to share. Woman's intuition," she said airily.

"Cop out."

"Guilty as charged." She turned her smile on me. "If you're really that curious, why don't you ask Naomi yourself?"

That sounded like a trap if ever I'd heard one. "Because I know better. And because Mikey's better at charming people than I am. She seems…"

April shook her head. "Don't finish that sentence," she chided me gently. "You've talked to her for all of three minutes; wait to get to know her first."

"I was just going to say interesting. And that looking at Hitoshi-san made me wonder if we finally know what Mikey will be like when he's older."

She laughed. "We'll be lucky if he's mellowed that much by then."

"We will," I agreed. "I'd like to get to know them."

"I'm sure you'll get a chance to," April assured me. "The fact that they're here should tell you they care and are worth getting to know. And the fact that they fought Leo when he tried to cut them loose has to mean they'd like to stick around."

"I hope so." The whole situation just felt a bit odd; not in a bad way, just slightly off-kilter, like an instrument that was out of tune. There were people who counted Leo as a friend, who cared enough to be on his side despite the danger and to visit him in the hospital, and I—we—had no idea who they were. They'd just been a pair of names, and we only now had faces to put to the names. It was just odd, this new example of how even Leo, for all his concerns, had started developing parts of his life without us in it.

Or maybe the odd part was really that this seemed so surprising.

I startled as my phone buzzed in my pocket, and my heart sped up when I saw Mikey's name on the screen. "Mikey? What's wrong?" I asked as I answered the call, inching toward the door under the pointed glare from the receptionist at the 'no cell phones' sign on the wall.

"_Get up here, Don,"_ Mikey said shortly, his voice tense. _"Leo's missing_."

* * *

**Michelangelo**

* * *

Meeting Naomi and Hitoshi had been a completely unexpected but totally awesome surprise. I hadn't expected to get to meet them until this whole thing was over, since I knew Leo wasn't planning to go back to visit them until we'd dealt with Karai, and I definitely hadn't expected them to come find us, but I was glad they had.

Naomi was pretty, and even with what Leo had said about not knowing himself well enough to handle a relationship, I thought he was dumb if he didn't take her on another date anyway. I personally thought she might be a good fit for him; she had a kind of quiet solidness about her like Leo did, and the same stubbornness, but with more fire. (Which was good, 'cause anyone Leo ended up with would have to be at least as stubborn as he was just to match him.) Hitoshi just seemed like fun; I couldn't help wondering if maybe Leo saw him as a kind of stand-in sensei—not a replacement, since there was no replacement for Sensei, just someone sensei-ish who didn't expect anything from him.

I cleared my throat a little, figuring someone should try to make up for Raph's less than stellar welcome. "Hey, thanks for coming, really. It means a lot."

Naomi smiled, and yeah, Leo was definitely sort of an idiot. "We wanted to. I just…I hope we're not intruding. From what Leo said…I know that this might not be the kind of thing you wanted to share."

"It's not the kind of thing we want to drag friends into," I corrected. "It's hard seeing our problems cause collateral damage for other people. But even if you guys didn't deserve answers because of Karai, which you totally do, you'd still be welcome 'cause you're important to Leo."

Naomi kind of stuttered a little at that, then very pointedly stared at the elevator door and nothing else. "Oh. Well, thank you."

I glanced over to see Hitoshi watching Naomi with a smile before he glanced at me and winked. Oh man, I had to find an opportunity to talk to him about those two. _Had to_.

I expected to see Leo fidgeting, or ignoring some hospital food, or trying to make a break for it when we finally reached his hospital room. Walking into his room to find the bed empty and the needle of the IV dangling limply from the stand immediately ranked way up at the top of things that terrified me the most. Had Karai gotten to Leo somehow? Had something gone wrong, and they'd had to take Leo back into surgery again? Where was he?

"Is Leonardo-san gone for additional testing?" Hitoshi asked carefully, no doubt seeing that I was only a couple seconds away from freaking the shell out.

"I don't know. They didn't tell us anything about that, but maybe." I tried to shove down my panic and hoofed it over to the nurses' station. "Excuse me."

The nurse, who had to be around Sensei's age, glanced up from the computer and smiled. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah. Uh, my brother, Leo Hamand, is he—I don't know, having testing done or something?"

She hummed thoughtfully. "The name doesn't sound familiar, so he must have been admitted last night; I only came on shift this morning. Let me check his records." She typed something in slowly, then frowned at the screen. "Hm, no, the only notes we have on a Leo Hamand are to check on coherency levels and change his bandages…and that he's under visitor restrictions." She eyed me, her mouth pursing slightly. "Can I see some ID, please?"

I tried not to roll my eyes. _Now_ she was asking about that? I grabbed my driver's license out of my pocket and shoved it across the desk. "Mike Hamand, Leo's my brother." I waved back at Hitoshi and Naomi before she could get picky about them too. "This is Hitoshi and Naomi Kimura. They're friends. I was bringing them up to give you their names so they could visit Leo, which is where we ran into the problem, because he's not here."

She frowned at me. "There's nowhere else for him to be."

There were a lot of places for him to be, like _home_, where this wouldn't have even been an issue in the first place. "He's not there," I insisted, stepping aside so that she could see Leo's empty room.

Her frown deepened, and she got up to bustle over to the door and check for herself, as if I'd been joking and Leo had decided to hide under the bed. Another nurse walked by and she snagged her by the arm. "Emily, sorry, but the patient in this room, a Leo Hamand, did you take him down for any testing? Was he scheduled for any procedures?"

The younger nurse shook her head. "I haven't taken him anywhere. From what I saw of his charts, he was just supposed to be under supervision."

"Who else is on rounds with you this morning?"

"Mikaela and Rachel, but they've both been busy with other patients basically since we clocked in."

They were both starting to look a little worried, which was just about giving me an ulcer. "So no one knows where he is?" I asked edgily.

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about," the desk nurse assured me. "I would have noticed if there had been any commotion or trouble."

"But you didn't notice even that he was gone," I pointed out. I gripped my hair, trying to think. I believed that she would have noticed if someone had come in and tried to take Leo, because no way would he have gone quietly—

Unless he'd been drugged. Leo had been high as a kite when we'd left him yesterday; part of that had been the sedatives, but he was also on some serious pain medication, according to Donnie. But even then he would have fought, and drugged or not, I trusted Leo to be effective enough that no one would have been able to subdue him without a sound. So…maybe he'd left on his own. Except why would he?

Because he was drugged to the gills and had no idea where he was—and we hadn't been there when he woke up.

"Well, no, I didn't," she admitted, looking offended and flustered. "But I'm sure—"

I had no time for her version of sure; I trusted mine a lot more. "Could we maybe get some people to start looking for him?" I asked urgently as I dug my cell phone out of my pocket.

"Yes, of course, I—young man, cell phones should be used in the stairwells only—"

"My brother is missing," I said flatly as I pulled Donnie's number up on speed dial. "He's got about two dozen stitches in his side and his shoulder each, and the doc told us he's not even supposed to be sitting up too fast. But now apparently he's walking around—or abducted—with all those stitches and I don't even know how much morphine pumping through him. I'm going to call my brothers so we can find him before he hurts himself worse."

She kept talking, but I tuned her out as Donnie finally picked up, sounding confused. "_Mikey? What's wrong?"_

"Get up here, Don. Leo's missing."

"_He's what?"_

"Missing. Get up here, and don't let Raph kill anyone." I hung up after that, knowing it was kind of a jerk move, but also guaranteed the fastest way to get them up here.

I was watching the elevator for them to arrive, but I really should have known that they wouldn't wait for that; Raph and Donnie came busting out of the stairwell less than a minute after I hung up. They were standing next to us a second later, and I was grateful for the firm grip Donnie had on Raph's arm. "What happened?"

I gave them the rundown as they both checked Leo's room as well. "I don't think it was Karai," I said quietly in Japanese under the cover of the nurses as they started calling different departments to see if Leo had just been moved without anyone making a note of it.

"No," Raph agreed, his face dark. "No one would've been able to miss that. The idiot's prob'ly runnin' around here somewhere."

"He was drugged," Don pointed out in Leo's defense. "If he woke up without us here, in a hospital of all places…"

"Do you need help looking for him?" Hitoshi asked calmly in the same tongue.

We all kind of blinked a bit; we were used to being the only ones who knew what we were saying when we used Japanese, but it kind of figured Hitoshi would know what was being said. I glanced at Don and Raph. "Actually, it might be better if you stayed here, just so we have someone here in case he comes back or is brought back."

"If Leo isn't gone for testing, then he's gone because he woke up confused thanks to the drugs," Don explained. "He…doesn't like hospitals, so he might have just tried to leave. It's…well, it's easier for us to look for him ourselves than to try and explain Leo's thought processes. If you could keep an eye on his room, that would help; April and Casey stayed downstairs to watch the entrance just in case he somehow makes it that far."

"Excuse me, sirs?" The older nurse bustled back up to us. "We've checked with radiology and the ICU, as well as the attending surgeon that led his surgery yesterday; he's not been moved anywhere for additional testing or because his condition worsened. We're calling some nurses down from the nearby floors to help look. Do you have any suggestions?"

We glanced at each other. We had plenty of ideas where Leo could be, but the fact was that it'd be a lot better if one of us found him; if Leo had hunkered down somewhere and a stranger found him and he felt cornered…I didn't want to think about Leo's fight-or-flight instincts in the face of drugs and a doctor or nurse, the kind of people we'd been warned against all our lives.

"Check the bathrooms," Donnie said briskly. "And the waiting room here and on the main floor; he might have gone looking for us. We'll check this floor and the stairwell."

"There are two," the nurse said, hands fluttering slightly.

"Then we'll check both," Donnie replied, his voice clipped.

She nodded and scurried off. Don glanced at us. "I'll take the far stairwell and check the floors between here and the basement," he said, jerking his head over his shoulder. "Raph, you take the other and head up to the roof. Mikey, are you good to take this floor?"

"You bet." They peeled off, and I grimaced apologetically at Naomi and Hitoshi. "Sorry about this; I know it probably wasn't how you planned on spending your Sunday morning."

Hitoshi shook his head. "It's nothing you can help, and nothing you need to apologize for. Go, we'll keep an eye on things here."

I nodded and turned to follow Raph down the hallway. He peeled off into the stairwell, and I kept going, intent on what I was guessing was some sort of linen or supply closet, when I heard someone calling my name. "Mike!"

I turned around to see Leah stepping out of the door to the stairwell and couldn't help but smile. "Leah, hey! What's up?"

She shook her head. "Someone managed to lose one of their patients somehow, and they called me down to help look for them since I'm done with my rounds for the moment. What about you? This isn't one of your volunteer days."

I grimaced. "The, uh…the guy you're looking for is one of my brothers. It's Leo; he got attacked and was admitted yesterday."

Leah's eyes widened. "Oh no, Mike…is he alright? What happened?"

The longest of long stories, that's what. "Can I explain later? He's really not in any shape to be wandering around, so we kind of want to find him soon."

She shook herself and squeezed my arm. "Of course, yeah, sorry. What places have they checked so far?"

"Raph and Don are checking the stairwells, and I'm checking this floor."

"What about the main entrance or the bathrooms?"

"Yeah, security is checking those, but Leo won't be there."

She glanced at me, concerned, keeping pace as we continued down the hallway. "How are you so sure?"

I hesitated; I didn't want to explain Leo's mindset in front of anyone else, and there was no way to get into that without it turning into a long story. Everything about us was a long story. "We're brothers, we know what wavelength he's on. Leo doesn't like hospitals, and even though he saw us yesterday, he's still on a lot of painkillers, and they make him loopy; if he woke up without any of us there…"

"It would have worried him, because you're usually always there," she finished quietly.

"Yeah, we…yeah. But if he was already disoriented because of the drugs, he'd be doubly freaked out, so he probably tried to get somewhere quiet and figure out what's going on."

Leah looked pained, then glanced at me closely. "You said you expect to find him on this floor?"

"Yeah."

"You sent the other nurses to every place you don't think he'll be," she realized. "That wasn't just to cover your bases, was it?"

My first instinct was to brush her off, because this was personal, it was _family_, and that was no one's business; however screwed up we were, we knew how to work around it. Leo wouldn't want anyone else to see him scared and drugged, especially since he might hurt someone if they crowded him. But—but this was Leah, and if I wanted things to get personal with her, well, it had to start somewhere. "It sort of was, but…it's Leo," I said lamely. It was so hard to explain him and us and everything without getting into, well, everything. "We're the only ones who would be able to calm him down and make him feel safe."

I could tell from Leah's expression that she had more questions, but she just nodded. "I can help, if you want; I know which rooms and closets would be unlocked or big enough for someone to hide in. If nothing else, it might cross a few places off your list."

"That'd be great."

She reached out and squeezed my hand with a smile, then led the way down the hall. None of the rooms we checked had any drugged big brothers in them, and the one closet wasn't any luckier, so we doubled back to check the other end of the hall. I popped my head into Leo's room to see if anyone had found him, only to see Hitoshi and Naomi looking back expectantly. I shook my head at them and followed Leah as we headed toward the stairwell Don had taken.

All the rooms we checked in the second batch were empty too, and Leah's shoulders were drooping when we reached the last door. "I'm sorry, Mike, I was hoping I'd be a little more help than this," she apologized as she checked the door.

"Hey, no, don't be sorry; if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have known which ones to check," I said quickly. "My plan was to just open doors and hope I didn't barge in on any really delicate patients."

"If he went for one of the other floors, then maybe—" She cut off, frowning.

"Something wrong?"

Leah jiggled the doorknob harder. "This room isn't supposed to be locked," she said slowly. "None of them are. The closets, yes, because those have hospital supplies, but this…" She tried the knob again. "And it's not even locked, it's just—stuck."

I could feel my heart pick up a few beats. "Like maybe it's jammed?" If Leo had been too sore or confused to get any farther—or if there had been too many people in the halls—I could totally see him closing himself in somewhere and barricading the door. "Let me try."

I turned the doorknob and shoved at the door, and I could feel it jar against something. The angle wasn't good enough that I could see through the window what was blocking it, but I was willing to bet it was a chair. I shoved again, grinning when I felt something shift slightly, and glanced at Leah. "Will I get either of us in trouble if what I'm gonna do next ends up being sorta loud?"

"Are we talking air horn loud or football-stadium-during-the-Super-Bowl loud?"

"Definitely closer to the former."

Leah just waved a hand at the door. "Do what you have to."

I shifted a bit to set my stance, then shoved at the door again with my shoulder, putting my whole weight into it. The door moved another inch before it jammed again. I growled and hit it a second time, and heard it slam against something loudly as whatever Leo had blocked the door with screeched across the floor. Third time would definitely be the charm.

The door bucked open another half a foot, then refused to move any more, but that was fine; there was enough space for me to get through. It wouldn't be comfortable, but if it got me to Leo, I really, really didn't care.

I turned to glance at Leah. "Hey, can you give me like…a minute with him before you send in the cavalry? Just to get him reoriented?"

She nodded, her face creased in worry. "Let me know if you need anything."

"I will," I assured her before squeezing my way into the room. I glanced around the room, and there, tucked into the far corner…

My stupid big brother sat pressed back into the corner, his bad arm cradled against his chest while his right leg was stretched awkwardly out in front of him. He was as white as the walls, but he was there, and in one piece.

"Leo," I breathed, the relief at finding him making me giddy and noodle-legged as I headed for him. I barely managed to remember to get the chair out of the way of the door before the brother frequency in my brain blocked everything out except a loop of 'he's okay, he's okay, he's okay.' "Hey, bro, you scared the crap out of us."

Leo stared at me, and geez, his pupils were huge. I hadn't thought about it when I was trying to get in, but if Leo had run and barricaded himself in here, only to hear someone breaking into the room through the only exit…I'd probably scared the hell out of him since he couldn't tell who was trying to get in.

But he recognized me. I could tell, because the fear and the hard, eerie blankness in his face—Leo's default mode when he was cornered—was melting away, and it felt good to be the one that made that happen.

"Mikey." He reached his good arm out, his face wide open and full of confusion and relief. I grabbed his hand and crouched down beside him, my stomach hurting for him. He was going to hate it when he came back to himself later and realized that he'd been running around with his emotions bare for everyone to see. I hated it now enough for both of us. I wanted to hug him, but he'd already probably aggravated his wounds enough, and the happy drugs were no doubt running low in his system. "You're alright?"

Leo was never going to stop being his own particular kind of idiot, was he? "I'm fine, bro; _you're_ the one who landed himself in the hospital and went AWOL."

"I couldn't find you," Leo said softly. "And I couldn't remember—in the ambulance, Raph was saying something about you going after Karai, and I woke up and none of you were there…"

Oh man, guilt trip to end all guilt trips. I knew we should have ignored the hospital's stupid rules and just found a way to stay the night anyway. I tilted my head forward until our foreheads touched. "I'm fine, Leo. Totally and completely fine. I was just getting Ryan back, and it went perfectly. I'm fine, Raph's fine, and Donnie's fine. Per your usual crappy luck, you're the only one who's hurt."

"And it's—safe?"

I hated this so much. "It's safe, bro. I've got your back, and I'm not going anywhere; none of us are."

Leo shuddered a bit and then just sat there and breathed with his eyes closed for a while, his hand tightening on mine. "Thanks. Sorry."

"Shut up, Leo." I shifted slightly from my crouch to sit on the floor; if Leo needed time, I could do that.

A hand touched my shoulder gently, and I looked up to see Leah handing me a piece of gauze. When I blinked at her, she gestured at the inside of her elbow, and I looked down to see a small trail of blood along Leo's arm where he'd no doubt yanked his IV straight out. I took the gauze with a nod and realized that Leah had not only closed the door, she'd also pulled the blinds so no one could see in. I'd rarely wanted to hug someone more in my life.

I smiled and mouthed a silent thank you, and she pressed a hand to my cheek and mouthed 'wheelchair' in response before slipping out of the room.

Leo stirred slightly as voices and the sounds of people hustling along filtered in from the hall, but I just hummed slightly and reached out to press the gauze against the crook of his elbow, trying to distract him. "How are you feeling, bro?"

"I…alright. Sore, I guess," he said in a classic understatement of epic proportions. Still, it was basically the most lucid I'd seen him since yesterday, so I could deal. "Cold. I don't—can we leave?"

I grimaced but shook my head. "'Fraid not, bro; you were running a couple pints low for a while, and you've got some serious healing to do—more so now that you've been running around when you shouldn't be."

"You weren't there, and I had to find you," Leo whispered. "But there were too many people, and I couldn't…"

I could imagine. There'd been people everywhere, and he was hurt, and he probably hadn't been able to remember at first that we were human now too, that no one here would try to take advantage of him being wounded. A few months of walking safely down the sidewalk just couldn't overcome twenty-plus years of knowing that humans en masse—and doctors and nurses in particular—meant discovery and danger and maybe dissection. And Donnie and Raph and I hadn't been anywhere in sight, which was enough to trip Leo's big brother alarms even when he wasn't drugged or hurt. "I know," I said quietly. "I'm sorry, Leo, but we weren't allowed to stay."

He glanced up at me. "And now?"

I grit my teeth. "Now I'd like to see them make us leave."

Leo smiled faintly, then stiffened as the door opened again.

I turned to see Leah slip into the room, pushing a wheelchair ahead of her, and squeezed Leo's hand in reassurance. "It's okay, bro, she's a friend." I waved her over, trying for a smile and hoping Leah would let Leo make a better first impression later. "Leah, this is my oldest brother, Leo. Leo, this is Leah. Feel free to bond over the awesomeness of your similar names and your luck in knowing me."

Leah smiled and crouched down, offering her hand. "It's nice to meet you, Leo," she said easily, like they were meeting in a coffee shop and not in a hospital with Leo rocking hospital clothes and pupils that were still sort of blown from the drugs and adrenaline. She was the coolest girl ever. "I've heard a lot of good things about you."

Leo blinked at her a couple times, and I could see him trying to pull back from the mindset of "_run fight hide don't be seen"_ and transition to "_talking to strangers, don't scare the civilians_" mode. He took Leah's hand in his own and shook it gently. "It's nice to meet you too," he murmured. The barest hint of a smile twitched into life at the corner of his mouth. "Mikey hasn't said much, but what he has said has been glowing."

That sent a hint of red into her cheeks as she glanced at me. "Mikey?" she asked teasingly.

I'd never protested my nickname, and never would—it was much safer than being "Michelangelo," which was a sign of being in Serious Trouble—but yeah, there was a reason I had introduced myself to her with the version of my name that didn't make me sound about ten. "He's on drugs," I pointed out. "And should maybe get back to those nice drugs."

Leo's smile slid off his face. "No." When I glared at him he just stared at me, then flinched as I reached out like I was going to poke him in the bad shoulder. "Fine, but…less this time?"

"We can do less," Leah assured him. "The dosage that you were given was probably calculated based on your height and weight, not to mention the severity of your injuries, but everyone reacts differently; some people need more, some need less. Given that you apparently have the pain tolerance of a rhino, I'll let your nurses know that they should try halving your dose to start with, and then adjust from there."

Leo regarded her silently for a couple seconds, then glanced at me. "Marry her," he said in quiet Japanese, and I could feel myself go red, spluttering as he gave Leah a more genuine smile. "Let's try that, then," he agreed.

Leah frowned confusedly, glancing between us. "What language was that? What did he say?"

"Japanese, and he said—" Years of having brothers meant that I knew if I said 'nothing,' Leah would definitely know it was something, so it was time for a counterstrike instead. "He said he has designs on your virtue, because he is a horrible person."

I was rewarded with a pretty epic blush on Leo's part—because turnabout is fair play, even with invalid brothers—and talked over his protests to Leah that he had no designs on her whatsoever. "So! How about that wheelchair?"

Leah shook her head with a smile and went along with the subject change. "I think that'd be a good idea."

I worked on helping Leo to his feet, ignoring his whispered threats of hate and 5 a.m. practices for life, more worried about—yep, there it went. Leo no sooner got vertical before all the blood rushed out of his face, which I would bet was because of his wounded hip straightening out after being overworked and then scrunched up on a cold hospital floor. Leah slid around us quickly, bracing the wheelchair right behind Leo's knees, and I eased Leo down as carefully as I could, letting him press bruises into my arms as he tried to get his breath back.

I swallowed hard at the strength of Leo's grip. I still wasn't used to being an anchor for someone. The last couple months…it'd felt good, to be there for Leo and realize that he was depending on my support; different, but good. But seeing him now, now that he was actually letting his guard down rather than trying to pull off the whole stoic "it's just a scratch" thing he always used to do…it was kinda scary too. I didn't know if I could live up to that kind of trust, but I sure as shell was gonna try.

"C'mon, bro, let's get you back to bed," I said quietly, taking the handles and slowly pushing Leo forward while Leah hurried to get the door.

"I want to go home," he mumbled back.

"I know, bro, you and me both. But you're still healing, and we don't have the good drugs the hospital does; trust me, the scratches you're sporting are a little beyond the ibuprofen we've got back home."

"Don't care."

I winced. Knowing him, he probably didn't. "Yeah, well, I do. And you would too if you weren't drugged out of your mind; wait for the morphine to wear off and tell me then that you'll be fine with a couple Advil, and we'll head home."

Leo leaned back in the chair, his head bumping my stomach. "Promise?"

"No," I shot back bluntly. I knew if I didn't nip that idea in the bud straight off the bat, Leo would probably try to take me up on it as a serious offer. "Give it at least a couple days, bro. We'll be here."

"So will everyone else," Leo muttered softly in Japanese as we started down the hall.

I leaned closer, dropping my head beside his ear. "Don't think we came here unprepared," I replied in Japanese. I knew I was probably driving Leah nuts, but reassuring Leo came first. "We'll be ready if anything happens," I said quietly. There wasn't much that could be smuggled into a hospital past the metal detectors, but we'd collected enough stuff over the years that at least we weren't completely unarmed. Besides, we'd all trained enough to be just as effective—and deadly—unarmed as we were with weapons in our hands. My money was on us against anything less than a tank—and that was on a normal day.

With Leo hurt…well. I wouldn't be making any promises as to anyone besides us walking away.

Leo nodded reluctantly. He still wasn't okay with the situation, but he trusted us to have it covered. I patted him on the chest in thanks and switched back to English for Leah's sake. "Just hang in there. Get through the worst of it here, and if you're still feeling twitchy we'll see what your doc says about you healing up the rest of the way at home."

"I'm not staying the full week. Don't need to," Leo grumbled, and of course he'd know better than anyone. I really wished we didn't know so much about recovery times after being stabbed, but we did.

Leah frowned a little as we hung a left back into Leo's room. She didn't know how Leo was hurt—I hadn't taken the time to share details—but obviously her nurse senses were tingling, which made sense; if someone was hurt enough to need a hospital and morphine, they were probably looking at more than a week for recovery. "Leo heals fast," I offered. No matter how much I liked her, there just wasn't an easy way to explain how and why we were so well informed when it came to how long certain injuries would keep us off our feet.

I was able to avoid any other questions thanks to the onslaught of a couple nurses, who somehow managed to flutter professionally as they got Leo out of the chair and situated back in bed. Leah stepped up to the one brandishing an IV and began talking to her quietly, hopefully telling her to ease up on the drugs, and I stepped back out of the way, sidling up to Naomi and Hitoshi where they were waiting in the corner.

The relief on their faces at seeing Leo was…reassuring, really. I mean, I wasn't like Raph and predisposed to growl at them just cause they weren't family, but…they were still outsiders. And it wasn't like there was a screening process for Leo's friends, but it was still nice to see that they'd been worried too.

Hitoshi leaned over to put a hand on my arm. "Is Leonardo-san alright?" he asked softly.

I nodded. "He's as good as can be expected. He just got a little confused and went looking for us; they had him on more of the good drugs than usual," I assured them. That was the story I was going with, anyway; no one was going to hear about Leo hiding in an empty room, waiting to be attacked, from me. It was bad enough finding him like that, I wasn't going to talk about it too.

Leah came over, smiling hesitantly at the three of us, and I made introductions. Everyone had finished the requisite handshakes when she glanced at me apologetically. "I know you don't want to hear this, but we're going to have to clear out for a few minutes while they check Leo over; if any of his bandages or stitches need replaced, it's not something they're going to take care of with an audience."

My hackles went up almost automatically, because I'd just found Leo, and like shell was I gonna let him out of my sight again so soon. Besides, I had quite literally seen worse than a couple stab wounds…but once again, I couldn't admit that, and I should probably go find Don and Raph anyway and let them know that Houdini was back where he belonged.

I caught Leo's eye as we left the room, making it a point to park myself in the doorway right in his line of sight. A few seconds later Don and Raph came stalking down opposite ends of the hallway, and I flashed them both a smile. They sped up and craned to look around me once they reached the door, Don gripping my shoulder. "Is he—"

"He's fine, we just got booted for a bit so they can check his bandages and stitches."

"Where the hell was he?" Raph growled.

"Never made it off this floor, he just holed up in one of the rooms down at that end," I explained, jerking my thumb over my shoulder. "Leah helped me find him."

That managed to clear the "beat up everyone" look off of Raph's face. "Leah?"

Much as I was grateful to find something to distract Raph from his imminent explosion, I was really hoping any family humiliation could be saved for later. Hopefully he'd be nicer to her than he'd been so far to Naomi. I tried to send them "don't embarrass me" vibes as Leah stepped up to my side. "Yeah. Leah, these are my other brothers, Raph and Don. Guys, this is Leah."

Don blinked at her for a second, then smiled, holding out his hand. "It's nice to meet you. I've been looking forward to seeing who he'd found to put up with him."

Leah laughed. "It really hasn't been much of a trial," she assured him, turning to shake Raph's hand as well.

Raph had one eyebrow raised as he looked her over, a grin tugging at his mouth. "You do know you're out of his league, right?"

"Dude!"

She just laughed again. "I doubt it, but if I was, that just means I've got job security, since he's not likely to trade up."

My brothers sucked.

* * *

**Leah Wilson**

* * *

Of all the ways I could meet Mike's brothers, it just had to happen at the hospital—with me in a pair of Spongebob Squarepants scrubs, of course, thanks so much. I'd wondered about them a little, after what Mike had told me, and I'd been idly curious to meet them, to see what they were all like together. I wondered if they were like my brothers and me, like how we could be perfectly polite and friendly to each other in public or when there was company around, but bickered like always as soon as it was just us. Or how the one thing we wanted most from each other was space.

They weren't like us; space seemed like the last thing they wanted. The look on Mike's face as we'd been looking for Leo, the fear there, was deep…and confusing. I mean, anyone would be worried if their sibling suddenly wandered off, especially if they were hurt badly enough to be hospitalized—_attacked_ Mike had said, and nothing else—but Mike hadn't just been worried, he'd been scared for Leo. And then when we'd found Leo…the relief on Mike's face had lit him up. I'd been glad to go find the wheelchair, because Mike's face had been raw with emotion, and I'd felt like I was intruding by being there.

Then I actually got introduced, and Leo was…well, to be honest, nothing at all like Mike. Serious in the face of Mike's easy humor, dark compared to Mike's fair coloring, and reserved while Mike was ready to be anyone's friend if he could just get them to hold still long enough to say hello. It was hard, and a bit foolish, to judge someone on how they appeared in the hospital—because no one was at their best here—but Leo had seemed kind, even if I thought that only half of what went on in his head actually got vocalized; I'd be willing to be he was a terror to play against in poker.

And what on earth kind of trouble could someone like Leo be in that he would get attacked? Who would want to attack him, when he seemed so…well, harmless? It'd be like attacking a librarian.

And then were Don and Raph. They'd had the same kind of fear in their faces when they'd come down the hall that Mike had had, but there was an obvious edge of anger in Raph's expression as well. Don seemed a bit like Leo, quieter—though almost anyone was compared to Mike—and kind, but with more of Mike's openness, and Raph…Raph definitely had the edges, the hardness in him that Mike had mentioned, with a sharp wit and smile. All of them were so different.

The teasing, though, that was definitely familiar.

"And that's enough for the introductions," Mike said with a scowl at his brothers. "Leah, do you—"

"Excuse me."

We looked up to see who I guessed was Leo's surgeon smiling at us tightly. "Dr. Adler, hey." Mike waved half-heartedly and glanced into Leo's room. "I, uh…I'm guessing you heard about the jailbreak?"

"I did, yes. If you can give me a moment to look over your brother, I think we should talk afterwards." He glanced at me. "If you could take them to the conference room…?"

I doubted he knew this wasn't my floor, but it didn't matter since I was still able to help. "Of course." He nodded and slipped by to join the nurses at Leo's bedside, talking to them and Leo quietly, while I led Mike and his brother a few doors down the hall to wait for Dr. Adler.

Leo's friends paused at the door. "We'll join your friends downstairs," Hitoshi offered, "and let them know the situation."

Don nodded. "Thank you, really. We'll come get you as soon as Leo's cleared for visitors. Again."

I ushered them into the room, perching on the arm of a couch near the door so I could leave once Dr. Adler got there. I hadn't been gone from my floor long, and could probably be spared a bit longer, but consults like this were for family and the attending nurses only. Mike slumped onto the cushions beside me.

I startled a bit when a hand fell gently on my shoulder, and glanced up to see Don smile at me. "Thanks for your help with finding Leo," he said quietly, passing by to lean again the edge of the table.

"It's no problem at all," I assured him. "I was glad to do it. Is he…I know it's not my business what happened, but what's his prognosis?"

Don and Raph glanced at Mike, and he nodded at them before looking up at me. "He's gonna be fine. His shoulder and his side by his hip got jacked up, but the doc said there was only some muscle damage and vac…" He sent a look at Don.

"Vascular damage," Don supplied. "Minimal, considering, and easily fixed."

"Yeah. So he's really just onsite to get his fluids up, for the good drugs, and to stay quiet." He grimaced wryly. "That was the plan, anyway, but Leo generally prefers his own plans to anyone else's."

"I'm glad it wasn't any more serious than that," I offered.

Raph's face went dark. "Yeah. Us too."

That rather killed any other comments I could think to make, and I was almost happy when the woman I assumed was Leo's main nurse—Emily, by her nametag—slipped into the room. She took up a spot at the table with Don and Raph and sighed, setting down her clipboard.

"Dr. Adler will be along shortly, he's just talking with your brother…whom we need to talk about as well," she said finally.

I took that as my cue to leave. Leo's care was his brothers' business, and from the expression I'd caught on Mike's face when we'd found Leo, more people had already gotten involved and seen Leo off-balance than he was comfortable with. I wasn't going to make that worse by staying to hear things that weren't my business, but when I tried to tug my hand from Mike's, he just tightened his grip and shook his head slightly. I couldn't help feeling a little honored, and squeezed his hand back.

"Did he mess up his stitches moving around like that?" Don asked, looking anxious and tired.

"No, both surgical sites are fine," Emily assured him. "They're a bit aggravated from exertion, understandably, but the stitches are holding. But your brother…he's already proven to be combative under the influence of drugs, and if he's prone to wandering off as well…" She trailed off carefully.

I winced to myself, knowing what she was trying to imply, and watched Mike and his brothers uneasily. If a patient was combative, it was normally just a reaction to the drugs or the last thing they'd known before losing consciousness, and as such was generally a one-off situation. But if they thought Leo was a threat to his own recovery as well, they'd do what was necessary to keep him still and quiet, and that…I didn't think that would go over well. I couldn't forget the way that Mike had placed himself between his brother and the door when we'd found him, or the way he'd pushed Leo back to his room with one hand on his shoulder or chest the whole way…or how all the tension had melted out of Leo when he saw Mike. If anything, I thought Mike had understated how close they all were when he told me about his brothers, and I didn't think they were going to take well to the idea that Leo might need to be restrained for his own good. Few people did.

It didn't take more than a second for the spark of understanding to light in Don's face, and his eyes narrowed dangerously. Mike had described Don as quiet and brilliant, his most laid-back brother, but the threat coming off of him was unmistakable.

"If you think we're going to let you put him in restraints, you are severely mistaken," he said lowly, and the cold civility in his voice was more disturbing than the yelling we were used to from angry family members.

Comprehension dawned simultaneously on his brothers' faces, and while Mike's face simply went hard and a little pale, Raph's turned thunderous. I couldn't blame them for being a bit upset, but this…this was beyond upset. No one liked seeing family members restrained, but normally it didn't get this kind of reaction.

"The fact that you are unobservant is not Leo's fault, and I'm not going to let you punish him for it," Don continued, his words crisp as he verbally flayed the nurse.

She swallowed, her eyes darting rapidly between Leo's brothers, but still squared her shoulders in defiance. "I don't make the rules—"

"He's in a hospital, after being attacked, and I know you have to have some kind of leniency in situations like that, at least in terms of allowing for the presence of guards or family members to prevent a repeat," Don said sharply. He took a breath, seeming to make an attempt to rein himself in. "I'm going to say this once. If you try to restrain Leo, we will leave. I know our rights, and we have the option of going elsewhere. If you try to fight me on this, here's what will happen: once we get back in to see Leo, I'll explain to him what it means to sign yourself out AMA. So far, I haven't mentioned that that's an option, because I know he'll take it even if he isn't in any shape for it. And then I can guarantee you he'll sign himself out, if you're lucky, or he'll just leave unnoticed again—not, apparently, that that takes too much effort under your supervision."

I was torn between intervening on behalf of a coworker and backing up Mike and his brothers when, thankfully, Dr. Adler slipped into the room. Given the number of years he'd been at the hospital, it was no surprise that he seemed to recognize the tension in the room immediately, stepping up to set a hand on Emily's shoulder as he faced Don and Raph. "Is something wrong?"

"She said you want to tie Leo up," Raph growled.

"No, just restrain him for his own sake," Emily tried again. "He needs to heal, and as a flight risk—"

"And you think he's going to be able to heal somewhere he doesn't feel safe?" Mike asked, as he dropped my hand before getting to his feet and reaching out to clasp Raph's shoulder with a grip that turned his knuckles white. "You think waking up to find himself tied to a bed is really gonna help him heal?"

"It's not up for discussion," Raph said growled, his jaw ticking. I could see Mike's hand tighten further on his shoulder, but Raph didn't move. "Don told you the options. If he stays, it's on our terms."

"Leo would not have been a 'flight risk' if you had let one of us stay with him, as we asked," Don pointed out. "He doesn't—"

Dr. Adler held up his hands. "Whoa, whoa. Everyone take a second and a step back and just _calm down_." He frowned at Mike and his brothers, his eyes settling on Don. "I was told you were the reasonable one to deal with," he said mildly, the chastisement obvious. "I had hoped that was true."

Don flushed at his words, his anger dialed back but still present even as embarrassment joined it. "We told you about Leo's past experience—"

"And I listened, and made note of it," Dr. Adler interrupted calmly. He picked the clipboard up from the table, flipping through the papers until he pointed one out to the nurse, who flushed but nodded sharply. He noted her reaction, then turned the clipboard around to show it to Mike and his brothers as well, with much the same response. "This is a matter of that note being missed, not disregarded. I understand your concerns, but rationally you can't think what happened to your brother before will happen again here. We simply want him to heal well and quickly, just like you do. And while in other cases that might involve sedation or restraints, obviously those are not ideal options in your brother's case."

I stepped up next to Mike and placed my hand on his arm, rubbing gently. His muscles were tight enough that I half-worried he was going to tear something, but the tension slowly started to ease.

"They want him to sign out AMA," Emily muttered, taking back the offered clipboard with a small sniff.

Dr. Adler looked alarmed, and turned his frown on Don again. "As someone who claims to have some basic medical knowledge, I would hope you know how much that could set your brother's recovery back."

"I do. I…spoke precipitously," Don said, his voice apologetic though he still looked slightly mulish. "I overreacted; we all did. But I think you can understand why."

"I can," Dr. Adler said, his shoulders relaxing as the tension dialed down. "Which is why I stayed to talk to Leo and ask what kind of arrangement he would be most comfortable with, and then came in here to let you know that he said he'd be fine with someone staying just at night."

Don's blush deepened, and even Raph shifted on his feet. Beside me, Mike managed what could only be called a full-body wince. "We owe you an apology," Don said quietly, bowing his head slightly and echoed by his brothers. "You're right, it wasn't rational to think that you would hurt Leo."

Dr. Adler nodded in acceptance. "Like I said, I know you have good reason for it, but we're only trying to help. Why don't you go see your brother and get things figured out, then leave whatever schedule or rotation you decide on with Emily," he said. "We'll have a copy made to be kept at the desk as well so whoever's on duty there knows to expect you."

Don nodded and stepped forward to offer his hand to Dr. Adler and Emily in turn. "Thank you, really. And we're sorry, again."

Emily smiled, tight-lipped, and nodded as she left the room, and I couldn't help feeling sympathetic, even when she glared at me slightly as she passed—no doubt for not backing her up. None of us liked being yelled at by patients or their families, especially since most people failed to realize that we didn't make the rules, we just enforced them. Still, I had to side with Mike and his brothers on this one, not just for Mike's sake, but also because of the look on Leo's face when he'd seen Mike in that room.

"I'm going to head out as well," Dr. Adler told us, "as I have other patients to see to. If you need anything, or if staying here proves too uncomfortable for your brother even with you here, have the desk page me, and we'll see what we can work out for getting him home sooner than planned. Like I told you before, I'd like to see him here and quiet for most of this week, but if he continues to be this uneasy about staying here, we might be able to shave a day or two off of that—_if_ we absolutely have to for his sake."

"What's the soonest he could be out of here, if he gets antsy again?" Mike asked.

Dr. Adler sighed, rubbing his jaw. "I don't want to see him leaving in less than three days, absolute minimum," he said finally. "And even that is much sooner than I'd be happy with. It's rather obvious the pain doesn't bother your brother much, but I want him somewhere we can keep an eye on the internal stitches in his side. We're lucky that he didn't go far today, because from what he said, it doesn't feel like the stitches tore, but I doubt we'd be so lucky a second time. and him leaving the hospital wouldn't do him any favors; I've been doing this long enough to know that patients never stay as still at home as they should."

He glanced up to meet their eyes. "If you can keep your brother still and quiet for three days, and convince him to rest as much as possible, then depending on how well he's healing, and pending another examination of the injury sites—and assuming no infection crops up—I'd be willing to clear him for discharge at the end of that timeframe."

"We'll let him know," Don assured him. "I think he'll be able to handle that, it was just a matter of the drugs; he's sensitive to pain medication, and I think they had him on more than he's used to."

"I was told you recommended halving the dosage?" Dr. Adler asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

I winced, hoping I wasn't going to get reprimanded for overstepping my bounds on a patient that wasn't even mine. "I suggested it," I corrected him. "I told Leo his nurses could halve the original dose, then work up from there if it ended up not being enough, and he thought that sounded like a good plan."

He nodded. "Leo mentioned that, and confirmed that's what he wanted to do." His gaze shifted to Mike beside me. "I'd like to ask the three of you to make sure you don't let your brother keep the medication level too low out of pride or paranoia. I can understand that he'd like to be as clear-minded as possible, but the human body does not heal as well or as quickly when it's in pain, and refusing the relief he needs will only slow his healing and keep him here longer."

"We'll let him know," Raph promised grimly. I got the impression that they were used to Leo trying that approach.

Dr. Adler nodded a farewell and left, and Mike and his brothers seemed to lose some of their tension in his absence. Don muttered something I couldn't understand—it sounded Asian, like Mike and Leo's exchange earlier—and Raph and Mike snorted at whatever the comment was. I started to wonder if I should leave again to let them talk in peace when Don sighed and headed for the door himself.

"I'm going to go talk to Leo and see what works for him. Any preferences on schedules, Mike?"

"I'm here on Mondays and Thursdays volunteering for work, so you can put me down for Monday night; I'll just stay over after my shift," Mike said. "With any luck we'll be out of here by Thursday and it won't be an issue any more."

Don nodded. "Raph?"

He just shook his head. "Doesn't matter. I'll go tell Case and the rest of 'em that they can start headin' up," he said, slipping out of the room.

Don didn't seem surprised to see him go. "Right. Mike…" He glanced at the two of us, the corner of his mouth twitching. "I'll see you in a minute. Leah, thanks again."

Mike scowled at Don's back as his brother left the room. "Oh yeah, real subtle."

I laughed. "More subtle than my brothers would have been."

Mike snorted. He started for the door himself, then made a face and started pacing around the conference table.

I watched him make a couple laps silently before I spoke. "Are you alright?"

He nodded jerkily. "Fine. Just, you know…not. It's just the adrenaline."

That probably wasn't as much of a misdirection as it sounded like. I knew what kind of energy Mike had; I'd seen him spend an entire hour playing with a group of healthier kids and their siblings, reenacting something that had looked and sounded like a cross between the final battle from the Lord of the Rings and a ninja invasion of what I had been assured was an enemy stronghold. By the end of it, Mike had seemed like the only one who hadn't been tired. With his energy levels and the state Leo was in, it was no wonder he felt like he was about to come apart at the seams.

He finally slowed to a halt, glancing at me from a few feet away. "Hey, so, um, sorry you had to see that. With us all…" He waved a hand vaguely. "Freaking out and stuff."

"Mike, we get yelled at, insulted for not knowing how to do our jobs the way people think we should, and bad-mouthed more often than you'd think; you guys being a bit defensive in light of Leo apparently having a bad previous experience with hospitals isn't going to shock me." He smiled weakly and I reached out to take his hand, tugging him back to the couch. "Hey, come here."

He glanced at me, eyes a little too wide. "What?"

"You need to sit down," I told him, knowing he was anxious to see Leo again. "You need to take a few minutes to calm down so you don't freak your brother out, and as it is, Don is going to be waiting himself while the nurses finish."

"But—"

"Ah!" I held up a hand, giving him my sternest look. "Shush. Sit. You're really bad at doing what you're told, aren't you?"

"You can ask anyone," he agreed, still glancing at the door. "Are you sure…?"

"I'm positive," I said firmly, nudging him back to the couch.

Mike hit the cushions obligingly with a small huff of air and looked up at me like he was waiting for the next instruction. I felt fluttery with the need to help, but past getting him to relax, I was coming up empty. I was used to comforting parents, and they all needed the same things, for the most part: reassurance, solid answers on options and outlooks, time with their kids, and someone to tell them when they needed a break. But Mike…this was his brother, not his son or daughter, and Leo hadn't just fallen ill, he'd been attacked. "There are some vending machines just down the hall, do you want something?"

"No, I'm fine, I—" He looked around, finding the clock, and croaked out a laugh. "I just ate. Literally, like no more than an hour ago. We've barely even been here that long and already my day has…" He made a vague hand motion that seemed to somehow imply some sort of eruption and an earthquake at the same time. "And it's been like that for the past two days, and I just…I should be used to this, you know? I mean, it's happened often enough, but still, we were supposed to be done with this kind of crap."

I hesitated, torn between pushing too far and not helping, and figured if I veered toward the former, Mike would certainly tell me. I reached out to gently swat his hands out of his lap and off to the side. He looked up at me, startled, and it was the sense of something shaken and scared under his bewilderment that solidified my plan. I dropped myself on the couch beside him, then turned and swung my legs up into his lap and scooted forward to rest my head against his shoulder, laying one hand over his heart.

And then I waited. This would either work or it wouldn't, but it was all I could think of. From what I knew of Mike so far, the only things I could think to give him was a chance to talk to someone who would listen, or the chance to just be close to and quiet with someone and know they were okay. As tactile and affectionate as he was, it couldn't hurt, at least.

Mike went very still, and for a second I was afraid I'd miscalculated, but then his arm slid around my back. I had to stifle a squeak as he hefted me up into his lap with one arm before the other looped around my waist. A second later Mike's forehead dropped onto my shoulder, and he let out a shaky sigh that sent goosebumps down my skin. Even without a mirror I could tell I was red to my ears, but I just shifted until I was comfortable and reached my other hand up to rest at the base of his neck, carding through the soft curls there.

Mike didn't shake, or start rambling, or anything I might have expected. He just sat there, arms tight around me, and breathed. Every once in a while all his muscles would tense, but then it would slowly bleed away. Six minutes slipped away faster than I expected—or would have liked them to, if I had to be honest—and I realized I was going to have to the be one to break the silence; Mike seemed content to stay where we were, but I knew he'd want to see Leo, and I was bound to be missed from my floor soon, if I hadn't been already.

I sighed and tapped my fingers against his chest. "Mike?

"Yeah?"

"I need to be heading back," I said softly.

He sighed and loosened his arms from around me. "Yeah, me too; it's not fair to leave Donnie alone with Leo and Raph without any backup." He hesitated, chancing a quick look at me before staring at the floor. "Hey, so I know it's been a weird morning, and you're probably wondering what's going on…"

I shook my head as I got up. "Mike, we've only known each other a couple months, and gone on one date; you don't owe me any explanations. If you need to talk, I'd be glad to listen, but it's Leo's business, not mine." I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious, but I didn't want to push, and Mike had the look of someone who was talking because they thought they had to, not because they wanted to.

I knew it had been the right thing to say when Mike's shoulders relaxed a bit. "Thanks. Can I…call you later?"

"You bet. I'll be home by 8, but I have work early again tomorrow."

"Yeah, me too." He squeezed my hand. "Thanks again. For being here."

"You're welcome." I shooed him out of the room ahead of me and waved as I headed for the stairs, taking them two at a time. I stopped by Marge at the desk and told her we'd found the missing patient, then trotted down the hall as my pager buzzed against my hip.

As usual, work didn't leave all that much time for anything else, but whenever I got a spare moment, I couldn't keep my thoughts from drifting back to Mike and his brothers. Some of the things Mike had said had some uncomfortable implications—"I should be used to this?" "It's happened often enough?" If he decided he felt like talking about it, I wondered what exactly their story was.

And maybe…maybe if I should even want to know it.

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**A/N:** As ever, concrit, notes about errors, etc. are welcome and appreciated, and reviews make me feel like Christmas came early. Thanks for reading!


	24. Chapter 24

_**Disclaimer**: see previous chapters._

Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: **TMNTfan95, Technophobia678, Skipper917, Akirafanatic, cuzimaw3som317, D'Fuentes, teenagejustice, MizzMegz, BraveChicken, or-chan, Rika24, greshunkai, Nashara, Hily, Mourning Star under the Moon, Sabrinasidd, Silver Lightning Blade, Ilovehugs94, Laughter's Tears, Karlina101, dids107,** and **Callus**. You guys continue to blow me away with your support and kind words. :)

So obviously my attempt to get this out soon after the last chapter failed miserably. I'd forgotten that we had two birthdays coming up in the family, and then on top of that, I mixed up my timeline a bit and had to shuffle pretty much this entire chapter around. It's taken a bit to knock it into order, but hopefully it was worth the time. No real warnings, other than a basic one for Raph's language.

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**Raphael**

I managed to make my way into the stairwell without rippin' the door off the hinges, but it was a damn near thing.

How the hell did Leo always manage to get into trouble like this? He was like a magnet for it, I swear. And _he_ was the one who was s'posed to keep _us_ out of trouble? I knew it wasn't like Master Splinter could've known when we were kids that people would be constantly tryin' to kill Leo, but still.

He just…

I slid down the wall to park my ass on the landing. Ah hell, who did I think I was kiddin'? It wasn't Leo I was mad at, it was just…everythin'. It was Karai findin' us, and listenin' to Leo gettin' hurt and not bein' able to do a _damn thing_ about it. It was bein' stuck in a hospital, seein' Leo's empty bed and wonderin' if we'd find him alive, knowin' that if those swords had gone an inch or two further into Leo's chest or stomach, he could've been one of those people I'd seen in other rooms with tubes down their throats…

Just everythin'. I needed to get _out_ of here, out of the city, an' just—away from people. All the times I'd wished we were human, I never realized how full-time it was to live above ground in New York; you _never_ got to be alone. When we were turtles, I could spend hours walkin' around the sewers and never see a single livin' person; even if it stunk, it was miles and miles of space to myself. Or I could find a rooftop an' watch people without havin' to deal with 'em—close enough to not be alone but far enough that no one was freakin' out. But now…now goin' in the sewers seemed more claustrophobic than I could stand, and if I tried goin' up on a roof somewhere, someone would prob'ly think I was gonna jump, and it'd turn into one hell of a mess.

I just wanted _space_. Maybe I could talk my bros into packin' Leo up an' headin' out to Casey's grandma's place. I'd never hated the farm, but it'd never really been associated with good memories, either, other than the time we'd spent there after the big change; it was pretty much just a place to hole up when we'd gotten the shit kicked out of us again. But the thought of bein' out there with just my bros and Casey an' April, no jobs or idiots on the sidewalks or constant _noise_, sounded perfect. Or maybe we oughta just grab Leo and head to Sensei. We'd heard Leo talk enough about the Ancient One's place and how peaceful it was; if there was anythin' we needed, it was some peace, an' if there was any place we were guaranteed to not be found by anyone, it was the top of a freakin' mountain in Japan.

I could get some space, an' we could keep Leo somewhere Zen enough that maybe even his piss-poor luck would be purified or zapped or whatever. Everybody wins.

It took about five minutes for me to finally get moving and get down to the main floor; I didn't think Leo would mind the extra time to get his head back on straight, and Don and Mikey prob'ly wouldn't even notice while they did their mother-hen routines. I glanced around an' saw Casey out front on his phone and Hitoshi waitin' by himself in the lobby. April and Naomi must've headed to the bathroom or whatever, which was fine by me. Naomi…I knew she wasn't Karai, knew the situation was completely different; it was just a matter of rememberin' that. I knew it didn't make sense to be more worried about some girl Leo had met than the ex-Foot member who knew what we all looked like, especially since Karai aside, Leo was a good judge of character.

But hell, I'd never been the guy everyone looked to for logical thought patterns.

I sighed an' sucked it up, headin' toward Hitoshi, who smiled slightly when he saw me. "Raphael-san. How is Leonardo-san?"

I shrugged. "He's as good as can be expected. The doc says he didn't pull any stitches, at least, even if he aggravated the hell outta his side an' shoulder. He's up for visitors again," I offered.

His smile widened a bit. "I'm glad to hear it. I think, however, that considering the circumstances, Na-chan and I will return tomorrow."

Ah hell. That was the last thing I needed, to tell my bros I'd scared off Leo's friends by bein' a jerk. If Sensei were here, I'd be gettin' his walking stick on the back of my head, an' I'd deserve it. "Look, don't leave just 'cause of me," I said, forcin' myself to meet his eyes. "I'm an ass; if Leo's talked about us at all, you've probably heard that a time or two. I just…" I gestured, hopin' he'd get the picture. "Leo's used to lookin' out for everyone except himself; someone has to be a suspicious bastard on his behalf sometimes."

Hitoshi shook his head, pattin' my arm. "I assure you it's not because of you, Raphael-san—"

"Just Raph's fine," I interrupted.

"Raphael, then," he said easily, which I figured was as good as it was gonna get. "Given the situation, I imagine Leonardo-san would prefer a chance to compose himself before he faces any visitors outside of family. He…he has been very careful about what he has told us about his connection to Oroku-san, but I heard enough to know that it is likely an…unpleasant one, and a rather personal one. I doubt having to deal with those memories on top of his injuries will be very easy for him, let alone having to do so and put on a good face for company."

Was it an old guy thing, bein' able to read people like that? I was used to it from Sensei, but it was unnervin' from a stranger. I wondered if Leo knew Hitoshi had seen so much into him, even if he didn't know any specifics. "Yeah, there's a lot of bad shit—sorry, bad crap to put a lid on. Leo's had a lot of practice with buryin' it, though."

"I imagine so. Your brother…he is a puzzle in many ways. When he left the dojo the other day, he left with the kind of farewell you expect from someone who isn't sure they will return. To see someone resigned to battle at such a young age…I have seen many martial artists in my time, and after several years, you learn to gauge their skill levels even without fighting them," he said suddenly, and I blinked, tryin' to figure out where the hell he was going with the topic change. "Leonardo-san has no hesitation around weapons, and in one case he responded instinctively to the sound of a sword leaving the sheath. That is not a reaction you see in mere hobbyists, but rather in practitioners with actual combat experience."

He said it like he was just pointin' out the weather, but while he wasn't outright askin' a question, he wasn't just makin' small talk, either. "Have you seen a lot of people in the second category?" I asked.

He glanced at me. "I believe I have met a few," he said, and I'd've had to be a lot stupider than I was to miss what he was gettin' at. I couldn't fight the urge to straighten up under the quiet gaze. "All the parts about your past Leonardo-san detailed as briefly as possible," he commented. "He spent quite a bit more time telling us that he was a danger to us if he stayed, and that Oroku-san is more of a threat than even her lack of manners implies."

That was a nice way of sayin' Karai had half as much sanity as she had swords. As for Leo…I snorted. "It ain't somethin' he'll admit to, but with Leo…" I held my hands in front of me about a foot apart. "Common sense," I said, then moved my hands until there was twice as much space between them. "Martyr complex an' protective streak."

Hitoshi's mouth quirked slightly. "I picked up on the last part." He hesitated, goin' serious again. "If I am overstepping with this question, tell me, but…Leonardo-san mentioned that his main concern was that we might get caught up in things, and that we might be the second set of friends whom he'd cost a home."

Ah hell. Of course Leo would be worried about Hitoshi and Naomi gettin' caught up in things like April had been. The fact that he'd mentioned it, though…Leo had probably pulled it out as his biggest card to try an' scare them off to keep them safe. "He talked about that?"

"Briefly and sparingly, as with everything else. He mentioned that he led trouble back to you, and a friend's home ended up being destroyed as a result."

I nodded. "That was April's." I glanced at him, tryin' to read his expression, but he just looked concerned rather than worried. I couldn't figure out how to ask him _why_ without stickin' my foot in it, so I figured I might as well just go for it. "An' you weren't worried about bein' round two when he told you that?"

He tilted his head, eyein' me. "Would you have preferred that he'd been successful in warning us off, as he was obviously trying to do?"

"That's not it," I said quickly. Dammit, it was like tryin' to interrogate Sensei. "Just…look, our situation is weird; we've got enough drama in our past that most people don't want anythin' to do with it. So it's stranger to find someone that doesn't care about the blood feud than it is to find someone who thinks it's nuts."

Hitoshi hummed thoughtfully, takin' a seat an' wavin' me down beside him. "And how many people have you shared your past with, that you know with such certainty that it's too unusual to be accepted?"

…He had a point. Granted, we hadn't really told anyone about our past, 'cause it was hard enough to explain the Shredder thing without even gettin' into the 'giant mutant turtle' thing too—but come to think of it, after she got over the talkin' turtles issue, April had barely bat an eye at the whole Shredder fustercluck.

Said a hell of a lot about our lives that the clan feud was the easiest part to explain an' accept.

Hitoshi just nodded like I'd actually answered him without sayin' anything and continued. "I have a feeling that Leonardo-san was leaving out quite a bit regarding the circumstances surrounding that incident, and that it most likely was not as directly his fault as he implied. I am not asking, but I am willing to bet there were…contributing factors tied to the occasion in question."

"There were. But Leo wasn't exaggeratin' when he said that Karai is a threat," I pointed out, hopin' Hitoshi wasn't underestimatin' her. He knew enough to be involved an' in danger, but not enough to know exactly what the hell to expect…though findin' out Karai had landed Leo in the hospital had probably hammered home how serious it was. "An' she ain't exactly good at bein' low-key."

"No, obviously not," Hitoshi agreed grimly. "But she is also obviously fixated on Leonardo-san. Even when she came to the dojo, it was clear that I only mattered as a way to get to your brother. I am not trying to make light of your warnings—believe me when I say that I take them seriously, for Na-chan's sake if nothing else—but I believe you're in more danger of being targeted than I am. And despite the fact that the threat might very well be real for us as well, no, I don't regret knowing your brother or continuing to be his friend, no matter what baggage comes with him." He smiled at me slightly. "I assume that's what you're getting at."

Who the hell was this guy, Gandhi? Didn't anythin' faze him? "How does this not bother you?" I demanded. "You act like ongoin' battles with another family are totally normal."

"Ah, normal." He made a face, leanin' forward to brace his elbows on his knees. "Normal is so very relative, Raphael. For anyone, normal is simply what they've known all their lives, or what they've seen in the lives of those around them. According to some, Na-chan's life isn't normal, growing up with a father and no mother, living above a dojo with weapons and martial artists interspersed with school and parties with her friends. For that matter, my own life might not be considered normal, leaving what little family I had in Japan to come here and marrying a woman who shared my homeland but knew nothing of the culture."

Hitoshi shrugged. "Normal is what we make of it. This situation between your clan and Oroku-san's…it is your normal, and while I can't pretend it isn't one of the worst feuds I've ever seen, neither is it the first. I grew up knowing families that have their own feuds, ones that are much older than the two generations yours has spanned. I don't know of any that are quite so violent, but then, it's not exactly something you generally ask a neighbor about."

"So…what, you don't care?"

"I care for Leonardo-san's sake, because this is obviously something painful for him, and for your and your brothers' sake, since he is concerned for your safety as well. But other than that, I'd rather not let it bother me," Hitoshi said quietly, starin' at his clasped hands. "When I met Leonardo-san, he seemed…adrift, as if he was looking for a direction and planned to just walk until he found one. Once we started talking, it was obvious that he had his roots in you, his family, but he still seemed like he was looking for a safe harbor. I know what it is like to feel lost like that; when my wife died, it was as if I'd forgotten where I belonged without her beside me to orient me. Leonardo-san seemed driven more by bewilderment rather than grief, but all the same, I wanted to let him know he had some place he could drop anchor, as it were."

I had no idea how to handle this guy. I'd never met someone who spilled this kinda stuff to strangers before. It was good to know he wasn't freaked out by what Leo had told him, but weird, an' I couldn't help bein' curious about what kind of person could just take in stuff like this without blinkin'. "Why? I mean, that seems like a lot to do for someone you just met."

"A lot to do? Oh, hardly. Providing a listening ear for someone, and a place they can visit without any expectations being placed upon them…that is a very simple thing to provide for anyone, let alone for Leonardo-san, who repays me with good conversation and good company. I have found that there is a very real satisfaction in being able to support someone, even if it is only in small ways. And for me, personally…" His face softened as he glanced up to where April an' Naomi had emerged from down the hall. "It is an opportunity to try and learn from my mistakes in not being a better guide to my own daughter."

"What? But she seems…" I gestured. "Happy, y'know? You guys seem close, from what Leo's said. And it doesn't seem like it's hurt her at all." I didn't really know anythin' about her, but considerin' how ready she'd seemed to give my shit right back to me, she sure as hell hadn't grown up hesitant or weak.

"Na-chan has a good heart, and she is particularly forgiving of those she cares about, but the truth is that after my wife died, I let her down," he said bluntly. "I was reeling from losing my other half, and there were stretches of days when my grief won out over almost everything else. It took me a while to pick up the slack, to try and find a new balance in fulfilling the roles of both parents. I spoke to many other parents—mothers and fathers—to try and figure out how to be both for my daughter. I eventually realized that the best place to start was with support; I would be there for Na-chan, as much as I possibly could, and count on her to tell me what else she needed."

"And I found that that was a fair approach for anyone you might meet," he added, turnin' to smile at me. "Even if you don't know what else someone might need, I have yet to find a single person in this world who would say no to having one more person in their corner. Leonardo-san…it seems to me that he needs that, no matter how composed or responsible he is. And it's not fair of me to offer him support and then take that away just because he has enemies."

I was the last person who would argue that Leo didn't need more people in his life, even if I couldn't understand havin' an open door—no questions asked—like Hitoshi apparently did. "So you just…like bein' able to help?"

"I do. And on the selfish side, I find your brother to be a very good friend. Leonardo-san is more willing to simply sit and talk about everything and nothing with an old man than most young men his age."

I bit my cheek to keep from laughin'; that was definitely somethin' Leo had a lot of practice with. "Why are you tellin' me this? I mean, it's not like I mind, but…this is private stuff, an' you've only known me about an hour." The guy kinda unnerved me with how much he could see and knew, but even I could tell he was just tryin' to be a good friend or mentor or whatever to Leo.

He tipped his head to the side an' hummed thoughtfully. "I know a good deal about you simply through your brother's stories, and I think it's fair that you know some things about me in return; you strike me as the sort to want to know who you are trusting your loved ones to." His gaze turned considerin', and I wondered if it was a sensei thing or a father thing that made you feel about as transparent as a piece of paper when guys like Hitoshi or Master Splinter looked at you like that. "When we first met, Leonardo-san said that you were a strong lieutenant for him, but also his greatest challenger."

I bristled, tryin' not to think about all the ways I'd "challenged" Leo over the years an' what Leo might have told him. "Yeah?"

"He also said you were a strong support in his life." His hand landed on my arm and squeezed firmly. "It is good to see he was right on all counts."

…What the hell was I s'posed to say to somethin' like that?

Hitoshi glanced up to see Naomi an' April emerge from down the hall, and patted me on the shoulder as he got to his feet. "Raphael, I'm sure it will hardly surprise you to hear that few of Leonardo-san's stories don't involve one or all three of you. And at times he has spoken of you with exasperation, yes, with longsuffering and occasionally with bewilderment, but always with affection as well. I consider him to be a rather good judge of character for someone his age, and as such I am inclined to believe him when he tells me you and Donatello-san and Michelangelo-san are some of the best people he knows."

I shrugged, tryin' not to feel my face get hot as I stood too. "Leo doesn't exactly know many people."

He chuckled. "I'm quite sure that's beside the point. Raphael, I am not offended because you care enough about your brother to be defensive on his behalf; indeed, I believe you are quite right that he is often too busy looking out for other people to bother considering himself much. I'm glad he has you to worry about him."

"Worryin' about him's easy," I drawled, "it's gettin' him to let you do somethin' about that worry that's a headache."

"Believe me when I say I know full well how that works," Hitoshi said dryly, his eyes soft as he looked at Naomi. "Still, no matter how difficult they are, they are worth it in the end, ne? And we outnumber them, so whether they concede gracefully or not, eventually we will get them to put up with being taken care of."

I snorted. "Are you proposin' that we team up to mother-hen Leo?"

He looked like just as much trouble as Mikey before a prank when he glanced at me. "Would you really turn away another ally?"

"No," I admitted, meanin' it for the joke and seriously. "If nothin' else, he won't know what to do with it comin' from you, an' he'll prob'ly be too worried about bein' polite to say anythin' about it, so you'll prob'ly have better luck for now than we do."

"Any advantage is a good one," he said cheerfully. "It was good to meet you at last, Raphael, despite the circumstances, and I am glad we were able to talk. I'm sure I will see you at some point this week."

"At least one of us'll be here as often as possible, an' I think Mikey was takin' care of addin' your names to the visitors list," I offered.

"I appreciate it. I'll see about finding some books to bring Leonardo-san to keep him occupied and hopefully make your jobs a little easier." He dropped his hand on my shoulder an' squeezed it again. "Take care, Raphael, and I wish you a quiet watch."

"I…thanks. See ya around."

I hung back as Hitoshi joined April and Naomi, an' saw Naomi start slightly as he spoke to them. She glanced at me—I wondered if she thought I'd told 'em to leave and maybe Hitoshi was just coverin' for me bein' a jackass—then back at her father, noddin' finally. April touched her on the shoulder, sayin' somethin' with a smile, an' waved as they headed out the door.

She drifted over to me as they disappeared into the crowd on the sidewalk. "What was that about?"

I shrugged. "He said he wanted to give Leo time to calm down an' get centered or somethin', didn't want him to feel weird about tryin' to act normal for company if all this was freakin' him out." I crooked a smile. "I don't think he believed me when I told him Leo had a lotta practice gettin' over stuff like this. Anyway, I think they're plannin' on comin' back tomorrow instead."

"That was very thoughtful of him."

"He's…he's got a lot more figured out about Leo than I would've thought anyone could in just a couple months," I said slowly, tellin' myself I was stupid for feelin' antsy about that. He was just a nice, if weird old guy…even if he seemed to have better luck readin' Leo in a couple months than I used to in a couple years. "What were you an' Naomi talkin' about?"

"Basic things, like how long I'd known you guys and how we'd met." She gave me a look when I stiffened. "Obviously I didn't say anything about how you guys used to be, Raph; it's not my secret to tell. I just told her the basics—that you guys saved me when Stockman sent the Mousers after me, that we've been family ever since. What you looked like didn't exactly come up in the conversation."

"And how'd she take it?" I couldn't help wonderin' if Hitoshi's Zen-master acceptance the norm for their family.

April tipped her head in a shrug. "I don't think she thought it was any stranger than hearing about your history with the Shredder and Karai…less, maybe." She grinned a little. "She said that if it hadn't been for the robots, it would've sounded like any other cutthroat Wall Street drama—a maniacal boss, putting a hit out on someone who'd seen too much. You know, the classics."

I snorted. "So she's not freaked?"

"I don't know her well enough to tell," April replied. "She's obviously curious, since Leo probably only told them the bare minimum, and she seems worried, but I think it's more for him than herself. She's a little unsettled about it all, though, hearing about Karai and knowing she came to their home, especially now that she's seen that Leo wasn't exaggerating about Karai being violent. How about her dad?"

"He's…" I shook my head. "From the sounds of things, he doesn't care, other than bein' worried about Leo an' us. He was just all…'normal is relative' and 'crap happens' about it, and basically said he doesn't plan on goin' anywhere." I shoved my hands in my pocket. "He seems to care about Leo. Worries about him, too."

"That's a good thing. It'd be a shame for Leo to lose such new friends."

"Yeah."

April nudged me with an elbow. "That was certainly a heartfelt endorsement."

I shook myself. "I don't mean anythin' by it, it's just…" I spread my hands out. "I don't get them. I mean, when we first met you, I figured we'd get you back to the surface an' that'd be it, we'd never see you again, 'cause why the hell would you want to hang out in a sewer with a bunch'a mutants when you already had to deal with a crazy boss with a robot fetish? An' then when you stayed, when you kept comin' back…at first I figured it was 'cause we'd saved you an' that made us alright in your book. An' then we got to know you, an' you were family, so it finally made sense."

I paced a little, lettin' April herd me towards a quieter corner while I tried to figure out what was buggin' me. "People we rescue on patrol, they can't stop screamin' about the turtle thing long enough for us to even talk to 'em, let alone tell 'em about the whole Shredder-Foot-Karai thing. But Hitoshi…he knows we've got a psycho bitch gunnin' for us, and that she knows where they live, and he still just brushes it off. So, what…does that mean bein' dangerous, bein' someone who might get their friends killed just by association, isn't as bad as bein' a freak? Puttin' people in danger is better than not bein' human?"

"That's hardly a fair question," April said softly, takin' a seat against the wall an' pattin' the floor next to her in invitation. "As a matter of fact, it's a logical fallacy."

Out came the ten-point words. "Meaning…?"

"It means that your argument is based on a faulty assumption," she translated from geek speak. "You're asking if being turtles is worse than potentially dragging people into the business with Karai. For anyone to weigh that properly enough to make a decision, they'd have to know about both. You're arguing that since the people you've rescued on patrol scream and run when faced with you as something other than human, but Hitoshi and Naomi took Leo's revelation about Karai with basically a shrug and a grain of salt, being mutants is worse than being a danger to someone."

"All signs so far point to that bein' the case," I drawled, slidin' down the wall to sit next to her. "We've got plenty of examples to draw from."

April sighed an' whacked me on the head. "You need to think more like a scientist. You've heard Don talk about control variables in experiments, right?" When I nodded, she continued. "To compare anything in science, your two samples or groups have to be exactly the same, as far as you can manage it, with just one different factor, because that factor is what you're trying to measure. In your 'experiment,' you're measuring reactions to you as turtles or you as people it might be dangerous to know due to the risk of collateral damage, but your sample sets are in no way equal."

She shifted, turnin' to face me better as she held her left hand up. "The people you guys rescue on patrol are usually victims operating purely on adrenaline and reaction; pretty much everything is being controlled by their hindbrains, which are basically only capable of parsing things into threat or not-threat, fight or flight. So they're reacting in a situation of fear, where they're already primed to be afraid of anything that moves." She waited for me to nod, then held up her other hand as well. "But when Hitoshi and Naomi found out about Karai, and that they might be targeted for being Leo's friends, they were safe and relaxed at home, drinking tea. The two climates for these two groups—people seeing you as turtles, and people finding out you're in a clan war—couldn't be more different."

"Maybe, but—"

"And then," April continued, glarin' at me slightly for apparently interruptin', "you have to realize that as positive as Hitoshi and Naomi's reactions have been, if you're trying to establish an average for people's reactions to you, they exist as outliers, because Hitoshi is from Japan, and clan feuds are a historical facet of that culture. On top of that, while people might think clan battles are archaic and wonder why you don't just call the cops instead, we as a culture are primed to see revenge and getting even as a matter of course—take movies like Kill Bill, Taken, the Bourne trilogy…even in kid's movies, most of the resolution involves not just the happily-ever-after ending for the good guys, but also the bad guys getting what's coming to them. So we grow up thinking that getting revenge is almost a right, or at the very least a normal response."

I hated to admit it, but she made sense. "So you're sayin' that they don't work 'cause they don't fit into the usual standard of 'normal,' in terms of growin' up without knowin' about ninja feuds or anythin' weird like that. So…you an' Casey are the only real samples we have to work with in terms of humans who know about both the ninja an' the mutant things?"

I didn't expect her to start laughin'. "Oh gosh, no. We count as outliers as well. I grew up with an uncle that went on crazy adventures all over the globe, and then wound up with a mad scientist for a boss who had delusions of grandeur and tried to kill me with rat-eating robots. And Casey…well, Casey grew up with his own version of a clan feud with the Purple Dragons. And his mind works on its own set of wavelengths; as long as your principles are the same, he doesn't care much about the rest of it." She smiled as she looked out the door where Case was still arguin' on the phone. "Basically, Raph, it's impossible to establish a standard reaction or even a most likely scenario based on your past experiences, because everyone is different. You can't pigeonhole everyone's possible reactions into immediate acceptance or immediate rejection. Is the truth about the history between you guys and the Shredder easier to handle? For given values of 'easy,' yes, because revenge is something we as a culture understand and accept. But that doesn't mean that being a mutant is worse, just that it's harder to get your brain around right away."

"So how do you think Hitoshi and Naomi will take it, if Leo ever tells 'em?"

April huffed out a breath thoughtfully, stirrin' her bangs. "I have no idea," she said frankly. "I mean, considering how well they took this news, it stands to reason there'd be a decent chance that they'd accept it after a little time to parse things, but there's no way to know unless—or until—it happens. They both seem to like Leo and care about him, so that will probably help them realize that it really shouldn't matter what you guys used to be. But this is Leo we're talking about; unless something else goes pear-shaped like this situation did, he's not likely to tell them for a long time yet, if ever. I imagine he'd have to get a lot closer to Naomi for him to feel like he owes her—and Hitoshi—that explanation."

I blinked, thinkin' over the things Leo had said about his visits with the two of them. "You think she's the one he'd want to tell first?"

April smiled, an' it made me a little uneasy. "Yes, but it's just a hunch."

"Did Naomi say somethin'…?"

I got what was prob'ly supposed to be a soothin' pat on the shoulder. "Nothing that concerns you," April said pertly, still smilin' as Case finished on the phone and ambled back inside. "Just me being optimistic. Now come on, we should go give Don and Mikey some backup."

The rest of the day was…busy, sort of. We all hung out with Leo for a while until he got twitchy an' annoyed in the face of all the attention and the fact he couldn't leave an' threw us all out. Don dumped some books on him to keep 'im busy an' Mikey went to talk to the nurse about Hitoshi an' Naomi an' apologize for Leo bein' a horrible patient.

I booked it. No one needed to tell me to leave twice; I had an itch between my shoulder blades just from bein' there a couple hours, an' since I was gonna be goin' back that night to stand guard with Leo, I needed out, for everyone's sake. I went to Central Park an' ran off some of the tension, an' got back to the apartment to find Don putterin' around cleaning. I chased him out the door to go take care of the groceries an' picked up where he left off; I'm no Martha Stewart, but if it was a choice between cleanin' our place or dealin' with people at the markets, I knew which one I'd choose.

It felt stupid, bein' domestic, worryin' about things like cleanin' or pickin' up cereal. Not just because Leo was hurt—we'd learned pretty early that life had to go on, includin' chores, even when one or more of us got knocked on our asses—but because we were at war, dammit. Karai was _out there_, somewhere.

An' I was at home, doin' _dishes_.

By the time dinner rolled around, I was almost glad I was stayin' at the hospital with Leo, 'cause I was runnin' out of arguments for why I shouldn't go lookin' for Karai, an' I couldn't exactly give Leo shit for wantin' to do the Lone Ranger routine if I ran off to do the same thing.

The place was quieter when I got to the hospital, the lobby mostly empty since visitin' hours were endin' in about 20 minutes. I took the stairs up to Leo's floor an' nodded to the nurse at the desk. She pushed some kind of time log at me, I guess to keep track of when we got here—and who to blame if Leo got riled up, probably—so I scrawled my name, took the 'visitor' pass she slid across the counter, an' headed for Leo's room.

A new nurse was just finishin' up with checkin' Leo's bandages while he carefully didn't look at her, an' I leaned against the doorway to smirk at him. The movement caught his eye, and he glared at me.

Oh yeah, it was definitely going to be an ugly few days tryin' to keep him quiet here.

The nurse turned to see what Leo was lookin' at, an' smiled at me tiredly. "I'm sorry, sir, but visiting hours are almost over. You'll have to make it quick."

I held up the pass between two fingers. "I'm gonna be stayin' here tonight. It's cleared with his doc and the desk."

She frowned slightly, peerin' at the pass before she flipped through Leo's file. I could tell almost the exact second she found the surgeon's note about Leo's status as a "malpractice" victim, 'cause she glanced at Leo with a sympathetic look that I could tell was makin' his teeth grind. "Okay. If you need anything, feel free to check at the desk."

"Will do."

She hung Leo's chart on the end of the bed an' smiled at us before slippin' out of the room. I hooked a foot around the visitor's chair an' dragged it beside the bed, tossin' the pass on the bedside table as I got comfortable, raisin' an eyebrow at Leo. "So. How're you doin'?"

Leo gave me a look that said he was damn tired of hearin' that question. "I want to leave. I can't…" He shifted, wincin' as the move pulled on stitches and sore muscles. "I can't stand it here. The door's wide open, anyone could come in—everyone _does_, especially the nurses, they come in any time they want—I can't leave, I got yelled at for going to the bathroom on my own, like I really needed any help, and it's just too—" He waved his good arm, an' I could guess what he was gettin' at.

Too open. Too bright. Too crowded.

Too easy for enemies to just walk right in.

"Hey." I punched him lightly in the knee when he started twitchin' again, waitin' for 'im to look at me. "I am the last person who's gonna give you crap about wantin' to get the hell out of here. You got people watchin' you all the time, no weapons, an' you're stuck in a dinky room in what looks like a crappy bed; of course you're gonna hate it. Hell, if it'd been me in your place, I prob'ly would've made a break for it too, though there would've been more collateral damage."

He snorted, knowin' I was right. "You could break me out now, earn Brother of the Year award."

I barked a laugh, honestly amused and doin' him the favor of pretendin' he wasn't as serious as he was. "Like hell. Don aside, Mikey would kick my ass for it; by the time you make it back to your place, he's gonna mother-hen the sanity right outta you." I grinned at him. "You got yourself a new bodyguard."

Leo grimaced at me an' shifted until he found a more comfortable position. "I think you're right. I didn't quite expect that when all this started."

"What, Mikey growin' up?"

"No, Mikey…trying to take care of me." He cracked a smile. "I kind of figured he'd be too busy making friends with half of New York."

I shrugged an' leaned back in my chair. "Is it a bad thing that someone's takin' care of you for a change?"

I couldn't tell what he was thinkin' when he went quiet an' looked at me. "No, just…unusual. I still have to remind myself to let him."

Let him. That was Leo, havin' to remember to _let_ his bros take care of him instead of bein' his own one-man army. "It's good for you," I told him. "An' he ain't the only one."

His face went soft, the big sap. "I don't mind it from any of you, Raph. You should know that."

"Your version of 'not minding it' could use a little more 'sure, go ahead' an' a bit less 'thanks, but I'm fine,' bro," I drawled.

"I'm working on it," Leo protested. "Without Master Splinter around, someone has to look after you guys, and I—" His face twitched toward panic mode. "We still haven't called him."

I slapped my hand against his chest when it looked like he was gonna try an' get up. "What, an' you're gonna go ask for a phone an' take care of it? Chill, bro. Donnie said he'd call 'im tonight when they got back to our place. Said it'd be lunchtime over there, or close enough."

"Oh. Good." He settled back into his pillow, obviously thinkin' about somethin'. "I miss him," he said quietly. "The only time I've ever _not_ seen him for this long was when I was off traveling. It's…odd not having someone to go to for advice."

I wanted to ask him if it was just as weird as not havin' someone to take orders from, but I didn't wanna open that can of worms tonight. "I miss 'im too. Hey." I propped my feet on the end of his bed, shovin' his over slightly. "I was thinkin', when we break you out, we should head over there, to the Ancient One's place. Even if the rest of us can only take a couple days off from work, Seiichi's deal's done now, right? So you could have a little more time over there to recuperate."

He smiled. "That sounds great," he said softly. His expression turned a little wry. "Is it strange that I find it weird to think about healing up somewhere other than at the farmhouse?"

"No stranger than us goin' to a farmhouse to board a spaceship an' turn into humans," I pointed out. "Or you landin' in a hospital where we try to convince the doc you've got PTSD or somethin' rather than bein' afraid of gettin' shipped off to a lab."

Leo tipped his head in agreement. "It's all about perspective," he said, his voice dry.

"Mm. Hey, Leo?"

He glanced at me, his face curious. "Yeah?"

"…What're we gonna do? About Karai, I mean, if she ain't gone." I felt bad askin', 'cause Leo had enough to deal with, but hell, the question had been slammin' against the inside of my skull an' creepin' across Don and Mikey's faces most of the day, an' I had no answers of my own.

"I don't know, Raph," he said tiredly, an' I remembered he'd been stuck in here for almost two days, on edge, with little to no sleep. "We can't really do much more than wait. If this," he waved a hand at himself an' the hospital room, "is enough to satisfy her, then maybe this was the end of things. If it isn't…then I guess we go back to waiting."

There was somethin' in his voice that made me frown. "You don't—you think she'd be crazy enough to come here?"

He looked at me, one eyebrow raised. "She was crazy enough to come after us at Chuck's and kidnap Ryan."

"But this is a hospital."

"And that was a populated apartment building in the middle of the day. I don't know that there's much of anything she cares to be stopped by any more."

"Shit." I sat back, wishin' I didn't believe him an' tryin' not to think about Karai completely off the tracks an' runnin' around a hospital. "Is that why you told the doc you wanted someone here at night?"

Leo glanced down at his morphine pump, but not before I saw his face get a little red. "…Mostly," he said with a small shrug.

The other part bein' that he really didn't wanna be left here at night on his own, injured, with no one to watch his back. I had to catch myself to keep from teasin' him, 'cause he was finally gettin' over the 'leaders show no pain or weakness' bullshit he tried to pull all those years, an' like hell I was gonna do anythin' to push him back towards that.

Plus, no one knew Karai as well as Leo, an' if he thought there was a possibility of her showin' up here, then like hell were we leavin' him alone.

"So, anythin' we should be doin' about it?"

Relief flashed over his face for a second before he put on his thinkin' expression. "I'm not sure there's anything we can do, other than keeping an eye out at our places and April and Casey's. Now that she's abandoned Foot HQ, we don't really have a place to look for her now. About the only thing we can do is wait for her to get caught, or wait for her to come to us…and even with as sloppy as she's gotten, I don't think the former is likely to happen, and not just because the cops will probably be looking in the wrong places."

I scowled. "Okay, for the record? This 'sit around an' wait for the psycho ninja to come after us' idea sucks."

Leo dipped his head to the side in lieu of a shrug. "We're living proof—emphasis on the living part—that you can't kill what you can't find. I guess we're just seeing what it's like on the other side of the equation."

That deserved a dirty look. "The philosophical approach is really not helpin' here, Leo," I informed him sourly.

"Well, it's about the only approach I can manage, so deal with it," Leo sniped back. "I'm not in shape to be anything but bait for the time being."

I could feel my face go kinda cold, an' had to remind myself that tryin' to strangle Leo was definitely not gonna help his recovery as I jolted up from my chair. But that he would even think that we'd let him play bait… "Leo, you—"

"Sit down and calm down, Raph; people are trying to sleep," he said sharply, his eyes on mine. "Don't pretend the thought hasn't occurred to you, too. I'm wounded and on display in a public place—it's practically the definition of being bait. But I never said I was volunteering for it. If I was less injured, it'd be a viable plan somewhere else, but not here; there are too many defenseless people who could—and knowing Karai, probably would—get caught in the crossfire. The sooner I get out of here, the less of a chance there is that Karai will decide it's worth the risk and try her luck getting to me here."

Because that was exactly the thing I needed to be thinkin' about, knowin' Leo would be here on his own tomorrow while we were all at work. Awesome. I paced over to the window, starin' out at the city an' wonderin' where in all that mess Karai was. As many years as we'd run patrols, the city looked more familiar like this, seein' it lit up at night from several floors up. I didn't think it'd ever look as familiar from street level. Sometimes it seemed like the only connection between the roofs and the street was that our problems followed us everywhere.

"Raph?" I looked to the side just enough to see Leo's reflection in the window. Much as I hated bein' here, it helped, a little, to see he was doin' alright and guard him, to make up for not bein' able to keep him from getting hurt in the first place. "Seriously, don't make me come over there."

It was a cheap shot, but it worked, 'cause we both knew he'd do it. I sighed and stomped back over to the chair, swingin' my feet back up. "This is bullshit," I informed him.

"No one knows that better than me, Raph. But there isn't anything we can do about it."

Oh, I wasn't so sure about that. I figured if I put my mind to it, I could hunt Karai down an' hang her off the Brooklyn Bridge to use as a piñata before leavin' her for the cops to find.

Leo's foot knocked into my own. "So what'd you do today?"

I shrugged. "Not much. Took care of some crap around the apartment, went for a run." I grinned a little as I thought of a better topic. "Talked to Hitoshi for a bit."

He looked sorta curious, an' tried to push himself up in the bed before he realized how stupid that was. "What about?"

"How much of a headache you are to take care of," I informed him. It was partly true, an' it made him get that Be Patient With The Little Brothers look he got when I used to come home late or we were screwin' around durin' patrol. Can't go wrong with the classics. "And everythin' that's happened."

That got rid of the humor on his face faster than I meant it to. "How…how are they taking it?"

"So far, so good," I said honestly. "It doesn't seem to be freakin' them out too much. But you already got to see how they reacted, didn't you? You said they still wanted you to come back after you explained about Karai."

He made a face. "They did, but I just…I kind of wondered if maybe they thought I was exaggerating or being paranoid. I didn't know if things had changed now that they have obvious proof of how…messy things can get."

"Doesn't look like anything's changed to me. Hitoshi said it seemed to him like you were tryin' to scare 'em off rather than warn 'em, and said he's not goin' anywhere." I studied his face. "Did you _want_ to scare 'em off?"

"No!" Leo shook his head, bracin' his shoulder with his good arm for a minute. "No, I don't, I just—I don't want it to be the fight at April's all over again, you know? I don't…I don't think I can take being responsible for that again."

I knuckled him in the side gently. "That wasn't your fault, bro. It coulda been any one of us, and for how quickly all of 'em got there, they had to have been watchin' her place already."

That got me a weak smile, the kind where Leo was pretendin' to believe me. Idiot. "Probably. But this time, I'd be the only one to blame for all of this landing on their doorstep," Leo said sourly. "They welcomed me into their home without even really knowing much about me. I might not be the expert on social interaction, but even I know that you don't pay that back with property damage. I don't want to see them get hurt, and I'd like to still be welcome back after this is over."

"What are they like?" I asked, curious. Leo could usually read people faster'n I could, an' I wanted to know what he saw in them, see if Hitoshi made any more sense to Leo than he did to me.

"They're good people," Leo said, his voice soft. "Hitoshi-san…his sense of humor is a lot like Mikey's, and he's very welcoming. He's traveled a lot, seen parts of Japan I'd like to visit if we ever got a chance. And he's very…accepting. I think he knows there are a lot of things I'm not telling them, but he doesn't seem to mind."

I nodded, pretendin' to be starin' at the city lights even as I watched him outta the corner of my eye. "And Naomi?" April had made me more'n a little curious (and suspicious) earlier when she mentioned talkin' to Naomi, and I couldn't help wonderin' what she looked like from Leo's end of things.

His face twisted a little, like it didn't know which expression to go with before it settled on somethin' that just kinda looked confused. "She's…formidable," he said finally.

I looked at him, eyebrows raised. "Really? All the words in the English language, an' that's the one you go with?"

He gestured sorta helplessly. "Have you met her?"

"Briefly." I thought about how she'd squared off with me about a minute after we were introduced, and…yeah, formidable worked.

Leo must have read the agreement on my face, 'cause he just nodded. "She's very strong-willed and self-assured, and definitely not as…Mikey-ish as Hitoshi-san is. But she's fun to spend time with. She teaches yoga there at the dojo."

Yoga, huh? I told myself not to be a creep an' not to try an' picture it. "So how'd your date go?"

Leo rolled his eyes and groaned. "Of course you were going to bring that up," he grumbled. "It was…awkward. From what I gathered, Rae didn't know that Naomi and I had met when she set us up, but when Naomi mentioned that she met someone named Leo—from when Yuki-san and I visited the dojo—Rae figured out they'd both met me. And she told Hitoshi-san, but not Naomi. She and Hitoshi-san apparently try to fix Naomi up with dates fairly often, so when I ended up being the person she was set up with…"

I snorted. "Awkward was an understatement, huh?"

"A bit," Leo agreed. "I don't think she likes people trying to organize things for her. I think she keeps some shields up until she gets someone's measure, but then she's very interesting. Once I told her I wasn't looking for a relationship any more than she was, it got a lot less awkward, and it was…it was nice. She's easy to talk to once you get to know her."

Only if you're prepared to either stand your ground or give it, I'd bet. I wondered if Leo had figured out how much they sounded like each other, at least in terms of stubbornness. "So you're not interested in her?"

"I'm…" Leo looked sort of lost. "I don't know. I like seeing her and spending time with her, but the same can be said of Hitoshi-san."

"He's not your type," I said, holdin' the straight face as long as I could.

Leo barked out a laugh, kickin' me in the ankle even as he pressed the heel of his hand against his side. "Moron. You know what I meant."

I grinned. I did, but hell if it wasn't more fun to give him crap. "Sure. Go on, this is me behaving."

He gave me a wry look. "Don't I know it. Naomi…I just don't know, Raph. I mean…I guess if I'd ever tried to picture the kind of person I'd end up with, she'd be a lot like Naomi, but we only met a little while ago; I'm still trying to get to know her. And besides, I don't want to mess up what I have there already. Getting to visit them is like…the best way I can think of to describe it is that to them, I'm just a normal person," Leo said, his gaze a little distant as he thought. "There's no standard I have to reach, and they don't have any expectations of me other than company. They're not expecting me to impress them, and…and I don't have to. I'm not their leader or a role model or an example—I'm just a friend. And I don't have to be anything else."

That was somethin' I'd never thought about Leo needin'. I'd always figured he enjoyed the way we'd looked up to him, the way Sensei had named him the leader; hell, I know _I_ would've. And at first, he probably did too, but after a while…after a while it probably would've started feelin' a lot heavier. When he'd gone off on his jungle trainin', I'd loved bein' the oldest in the Lair, the leader. But then a couple weeks turned into a month turned into several months, an' the pressure of it, of Master Splinter expectin' me to be the temporary leader, of leadin' patrols knowin' we were one man short an' had less firepower because of it, of Mikey askin' what we should do…it got claustrophobic.

We never saw that part of Leo; he seemed to take on more an' more an' just handle it. I wondered if things would've been different if we'd seen how it weighed on 'im, if he'd _let_ us see it.

Too many ifs. But it wasn't like you can ever do anythin' with regrets, other than not makin' the same mistakes again in the future.

I shifted in my chair. "So they're good for you, then."

"I…" Leo bit off a yawn an' cleared his throat. "Yeah, I guess they are. Do you like them?"

"Do I…? Does it matter? I mean, they're your friends."

"And you're my brother."

Ah geez. "You don't need my approval to make friends, Leo, but yeah, they sound like good people, even if Hitoshi does have some really creepy Jedi mind powers."

Leo snorted. "He has _what_?"

I shrugged. "You know, the whole…read you like a book kinda stuff."

He smiled slightly, lookin' confused. "Master Splinter does that to us all the time."

No argument there. It had been hard enough to get stuff past Leo, but Sensei? No chance. "Yeah, but it makes sense comin' from him, 'cause he raised us, y'know? It's just…" I shrugged. "It's just weird for anyone to see through us that easily. Hitoshi…he talked to me like he knew me, just from what he'd heard about me from you."

Leo's smile turned wry. "Maybe we just make sense to everyone except each other, Raph. You can't see the forest for the trees, and all that."

"…You can't see what?"

"It's a saying. It's like…if you're standing right in front of some trees, they're all you can see because they fill your view. It's not until you step back that you see those are just three of a hundred trees, that they're just a fragment of the forest. It's all about distance and perspective."

I looked at Leo, thinkin' of all the years we'd fought, how nuts we'd driven each other…and, despite all that, how much I'd missed him when he was gone on his trainin' trips. If we'd had more distance like that regularly, or if we'd both been better at perspective an' not just seein' the parts of each other that pissed us off, would things have been different?

I knocked my foot against his, starin' up at the ceilin' for a minute while I tried to shove down the memories and regret. Leo had been my best friend when we were little; when exactly was it that I'd stopped lookin' at him as my brother an' started lookin' at all the ways he wasn't what I wanted him to be? "Yeah. Yeah, I can get that." I caught Leo tryin' to hide another yawn. "Hey, you should get some sleep."

"I'm fine."

If ever we were gonna coin a phrase for Leo, that'd be it. "Says the guy in the hospital bed. How much sleep have you actually gotten since you've been here? An' bein' unconscious doesn't count," I added as he opened his mouth.

Leo shifted. "…Not as much as I'd like," he admitted. "It's not exactly a restful environment."

That was an understatement. Between bein' used to bein' nocturnal, an' bein' stuck in a bright buildin' full of strangers, I knew I wasn't gonna have to worry about fallin' asleep. "I get that, but the doc isn't gonna let us spring you early unless you're as healed up as you can be in three quiet days, an' the easiest way to get there is to get some sleep. Where's your morphine pump thing?"

Leo held it up, lookin' confused. "It's right here, why?"

I leaned over an' clicked it a couple times, blockin' Leo's hand when he tried to swat me away. "We both know you're only usin' what you want, which has always been a hell of a lot less than you need," I told him as I sat back.

He glared at me, but I could see the added pain meds were already startin' to kick in from the way his eyelids started droopin'. "Ass."

"You oughta be used to that by now." He was tryin' to fight the drugs, moron, so I leaned forward, tappin' my fist against his. "Leo, seriously, it's alright. I've got watch, bro; you just worry about resting."

Leo sighed an' sank back into the bed, eyes on me. "Talk about something."

I swallowed, tryin' not to be a girl about the way Leo was tacitly sayin' he trusted me to have his back. He always had, even when I didn't feel like I deserved it. "Like what?"

"What you saw on your run today. People you've met at work." He yawned, blinkin' slowly. "Or the Nightwatcher— what it was like, who you saved…" Leo huffed a laugh. "How you made the costume."

I stared at him. Findin' out that I'd been the Nightwatcher had pissed Leo the hell off at the time. And those stories…"You oughta know from our patrols that the stuff I got up to on the streets doesn't really fall into the category of relaxin' material."

"So censor it," he mumbled as his eyes closed. One side of his mouth quirked up. "You're good at that."

I couldn't help grinnin'. He wasn't wrong. "Gimme a sec," I said, heavin' myself outta the chair. I turned it so that I was still sittin' by Leo's good hip, but now I was facin' the hallway an' could see everyone comin' an' goin'. I thought about what I could tell 'im. For all he'd joked about it, I could tell Leo was a lot more interested in hearin' about my time as the Nightwatcher than the people at work; he'd spent a lot of his days after the fight at Winters' tower findin' out from Mikey and Don what he'd missed while he'd been away. The Nightwatcher, though…that was mine, somethin' of my own.

Still, there were a few stories I could share.

I settled back into my seat, proppin' my elbow up by Leo's hip. "Okay, well, I don't know if you've ever looked at the helmet," I began, feelin' Leo shift his hand 'til it rested against my arm, "but I rigged up a headset in there, tuned like a police scanner to their frequencies so I'd be able to pick up on any muggings or burglaries that were goin' down. It was effective, but it was a bitch to learn all the police codes in the beginning. Anyway, there was this one guy, some sergeant or somethin', who got so pissed every time they got a call to come an' cut down some scumbags that'd I'd strung up. An' the guy who did dispatch most nights, he knew it, an' I guess he thought it was hysterical, 'cause he'd patch in other guys that were on patrol before callin' this sergeant, just so they could hear him explode. An' when they called him…the guy was Irish, an' I swear, I learned new ways to cuss a guy out every single time…"

* * *

**Master Splinter**

Something that no one tells you about living on your own—and indeed, something I had had no opportunity to find out for myself, not in twenty years of living with four sons—is exactly how long it takes for silence to begin to sound normal.

Living on my own, with only the Ancient One's strays for company, was strange in the extreme the first month of my 'retirement,' as my sons put it. For so many years, silence had been a rare visitor in our lives; it would stop by at night, when all my sons were asleep, and linger for a few hours. If one of my sons had been injured, the Lair would be quiet as his brothers tiptoed around whoever had been hurt, in that classic fear that somehow, being loud would be detrimental to their recovery. Silence was rare and hard-won, and most often I would have to leave the Lair to get any real quiet, or take a few scant hours to myself as my sons went on patrol.

So adjusting to a life in which the only sounds of life were my own was decidedly odd. I will admit to bribing the cats around the residence in the beginning, unnerved as I was at having no company other than my own; treats were left out unattended, and I moved much of my meditation outdoors, in hopes that the sight of me sitting still and quiet for hours would convey my presence as harmless or even welcoming. Wistful for more intelligent company, I even visited Ayame, the medicine woman who lived farther down the mountain near the Ancient One's home. She was a quiet woman, and reminded me much of Tang Shen. Hers was a kind nature, and save for a few moments of wide-eyed staring, any awkwardness at revealing myself to a human was minimal. The company was most welcome, if cautious, and we traded careful stories of our relationship with the Ancient One. I left with an invitation to return for future visits, one which I hesitantly returned.

I appreciated the presence of someone who could one day become a friend, or at worst, was a polite acquaintance and no potential threat. I was careful not to wear out my welcome, which in truth was not difficult, as twenty years of secrecy and caution were hard to overcome and I was hesitant at first to allow myself to be seen very often, even by one person.

By the second month, however, I found myself more relaxed than I had been in years. Each day was largely the same, filled with little more than meditation and gardening, or the occasional visit to Ayame. Presently the cats began to join me for meals or meditation, napping in sunbeams or sitting curled up nearby. I began to wake more and more often with at least one cat on my pillow each morning, or tucked against my side, purring and blinking at me in the dawn sunlight. They were steady companions, with few complaints about my early nights and early mornings. Ayame and I continued to visit a few times a month, and if nothing else, both our gardens benefited; I began growing those plants she needed but lacked the room or time for, while she in turn presented me with cuttings of plants to expand my garden or tea collection.

My visits with Ayame kept me from becoming too unfamiliar with human contact, but I was still caught off-guard when the shell cell rang late one morning. It had been so long since I'd heard it that it took several rings for the sound to register, and both cats mewed at me curiously at the noise. I glanced at the clock; it was nearly eleven, quickly approaching lunch, which would make it close to nine in the evening in New York. I rose from where I was tending a bonsai and gathered the phone quickly. "Hello?"

"_Master Splinter_?"

There was no helping the smile that spread across my face, not that I would want to. "Donatello, my son, it is so good to hear your voice. How are you?"

There was a split second of hesitation, and I felt my smile begin to fade. "_I'm alright, all things considered_."

I recognized that tone of voice better than I would like; all of my sons had sounded like that at one point or another, calling the Lair to try and prepare me so that I could brace myself for the sight of one of them coming home injured…as if there was anything that could actually lessen that worry for a father. "Something has happened," I stated. "What is it? Is it your brothers?"

"_Just one of them. Leo…was attacked. It was Karai._" Donatello obviously heard my sharp intake of breath over the phone, as he continued hurriedly. "_He's—well, not okay, really, but not any worse off than he was after the incident on the space ship, comparatively._"

"And you and Michelangelo and Raphael?" I demanded.

"_All fine. Well, I mean, other than Leo being hurt, but we're all unharmed_."

I sighed, barely making it to a cushion before relief weakened my knees. "My son, what happened? When last you wrote, your only contact was the misdirection of targeting the Foot patrols in the sewers."

Donatello took a deep breath, then began to explain. I could feel my chest getting tight at the story—so much had happened in the few weeks since I'd last heard from them!—and it was so much harder than I'd expected, to hear of them being in danger and being so far away. I had not accompanied them into battle for years, my age and old joints stealing much of the speed and sprightliness I would need to be of help rather than a liability, but at least I had always been there when they returned to the Lair. If nothing else, I could at least reassure myself with the sight of them at home or a hand on their foreheads in the infirmary if they were injured. "But he will recover?"

"_Absolutely_," Donatello said firmly. "_The surgeon said that Leo came through the surgery well, and that he should be out of the hospital within a week…less if he's being too much like himself and we have to bring him home early for everyone's sake. He…snuck out of his hospital room this morning; the drugs he was on had him pretty messed up, and I don't think he remembered we were human. Anyway, no one saw him leave, so when we got there all we had was an empty hospital bed and no explanation."_

A long sigh buzzed slightly with static over the connection. _"It scared the crap out of us—we thought Karai had gotten to him somehow—but he was fine, just holed up in a room down the hall. On the bright side, his doctor is now willing to let him go in three days instead so long as we can keep him quiet that long. He thinks Leo was a victim of malpractice, and that's why he's so jumpy at the hospital. We're going to be spending the nights there so Leo at least knows he's not alone when he wakes up. He's even less fond of being there than we are of having him there, but as much as I'd rather have him home…this was a close call; it's better that he has some professional help._"

"And you have heard no more from Karai?"

"_No._" My son's voice was a low, disgruntled growl. "_The police are on the lookout for Karai, and no one is allowed to see Leo at the hospital without checking in against a list of visitors approved by us, but that's all we can do for now. I think Raph and Mikey want to go after her—I can't say I wouldn't mind going either—but leaving Leo alone would be just asking for it_."

"My son—" I had to bite my tongue quite firmly to keep myself from ordering them to simply open the portal and come straight to me, to wait here until Karai gave up or was caught. The situation was theirs to handle, and taking the fight to her might very well end up being their best option; there was no telling how the pieces would fall when it came to Karai, especially since she seemed to be treading the path of madness as Stockman had done.

"_Don't worry, it's more of a pleasant fantasy than a plan,_" Donatello said hurriedly. "_They're just—we're all just a little tired of this. It's just a waiting game now, but we're ready._"

I let out my breath slowly, forcing myself to relax. My sons were safe and well for the most part, and Leonardo, as unpleasant as it was to say, had truly had worse. "And you cannot do this waiting here?" I asked mildly. I would not order such a thing, but I was still a father, and I defied any other to not ask such a question in my position.

There was a noticeable hesitation over the phone. "_I wish we could, but I don't think so, Sensei,_" Donatello murmured finally, his voice wistful and tired. "_We have jobs to get back to tomorrow, and despite his escapade today, Leo's in no shape to be moving around much. Plus there's no guarantee that, if she can't find us, Karai won't go after April and Casey or Leo's friends._"

I sighed, stymied by my son's logic. "After, perhaps?"

Donatello huffed a laugh. "_After, definitely. I think we'd all like a long weekend away. How are you doing? Is everything still going well there?"_

"Very well," I said, allowing the subject change for the moment. "It has been most restorative. I feel a great deal better and more rested than I have in years. I imagine Michelangelo will be thrilled to know that I have earned the trust of the stray cats that have made the property their home, and by all accounts I have passed muster and am deemed a friend."

Donatello chuckled, and I smiled to hear the honest enjoyment in his voice. "_He'll love that. Since I know he'd want me to ask, have you come up with names for them yet?"_

"Not yet. At first I hesitated because I did not know if they were strays or just lost, but I am certain now that they are no one's pets. At this point I am waiting simply to get a better idea of their personalities before I assign names, assuming they decide to stay."

"_I'm glad you have some company, even if they're not talkative."_ My son sighed. _"I miss you, Sensei,"_ he said quietly. _"We all do. It's so strange to not have you here. I'm stuck as the only reasonable one while Leo's indisposed, and I miss having backup."_

My heart ached to hear the fatigue in my son's voice, and I nodded, though I knew he could not see it. "I miss you and your brothers as well, my son; fiercely. I wish that I could be there with you, but I believe it best for us to wait until it is safe for you to come to me at the Battle Nexus."

"_I know, Sensei. It's just wishful thinking."_ I heard a soft clatter from his side of the line. _"We've battened down the hatches here at our place for the night, in case Karai picks now of all time to try something, and April and Casey are back at their place; it's safer for them, and if something should happen, we'll still have some backup around for whoever needs it. Mikey's…I'm not sure if he's asleep or not; even if he is, I know he'd like to talk to you. Want me to give him the phone?"_

I knew my sons needed their rest, both to recover from what had already happened and to brace themselves for what was to come, but I very much wanted to hear from all of them and assure myself that they were well. Just this once, I would be selfish. "I would appreciate that, my son. Is Raphael asleep as well?"

"_No, he's at the hospital; he's first up to bat to stay the night there with Leo."_ The other end of the line fell silent for several seconds._ "Raph held it together really well the past few days, Master Splinter. He kept a lid on things until we'd seen Leo was alright, and then he and Casey went…out, I don't know where. It helped, wherever they went. For his sake and ours, though, I hope the police find Karai or she finds us soon, because otherwise, Raph's going to go find her…and I don't know that he'd ask me and Mikey to come."_

Oh, Raphael. My heart ached for my most passionate son, for I knew he would blame himself for his brother being wounded while they were so near to each other, even if there was nothing he could have done. At the same time, I could not help a thrill of fear to hear that he was considering targeting Karai on his own—fear, but not surprise. Donatello's quick defense of his brother, however, was a change from the norm—but a pleasant one. Donatello was normally the most exasperated with Raphael's tendency toward fighting, next to Leonardo, and yet it was obvious that he had come to understand his brother better; I was glad to see the fruits of that empathy. "I imagine not, my son. Let him know, and Leonardo as well, that I miss and love them both, and that I look forward to hearing from them."

"_I will. Give me a second and I'll pass you to Mikey."_

I waited over the sound of rustling and muffled voices, hoping Michelangelo was indeed awake. If I didn't know as well as I did that going to them would be a distraction, I would be packing my things to journey to the Battle Nexus. As it was—

"_Sensei?"_

I closed my eyes, another knot of tension unwinding from around my heart at the sound of my youngest son's voice. "Michelangelo. How are you?"

"_I am having a really crappy week, Master Splinter_," he said bluntly. _"How 'bout you?"_

Despite the situation, I could not help but chuckle. "Mine has been decidedly better than yours, I fear, though I would trade with you if I could."

"_I wouldn't want you to,"_ Michelangelo countered solidly. _"We're…we're getting by. Donnie and I are holding down the fort—and Raph—as best we can, it's just…it was really close, Master Splinter. And I wasn't even there when it happened. I know that Raph…it was bad for him—worse than it was for Leo, I think, as weird as that sounds. I don't think Raph's gonna get over that for a while, being there and not being able to do anything other than hear Leo get hurt. But…but I think I would've rather traded places with him. I mean, not because I might've gotten caught at Foot HQ—and can you imagine Raph sneaking in there and _not_ giving himself away by punching everyone in the face?"_

My faith in all my sons' abilities to be one with the shadows was absolute, and I knew Raphael had restraint and the presence of mind to exercise it when he chose to do so, but to send him into Karai's lair in his state of mind…I winced to think of it. "No. No, I'm afraid I cannot."

"_Me neither. Anyway, like I was saying, it wasn't the danger or worrying about Ryan that was the worst, it was…it was not knowing how bad Leo was, not knowing if he'd still be alive by the time I got Ryan and got out of there."_ My son's voice was bleak and haunted, and for all his concerns about Raphael, I feared he would have his own nightmares; they all would. _"As bad as it had to have been for Raph, I think I would've rather been there. I mean, I'm glad I was able to get Ryan out, and I think it needed to be me or else the—things would've gone differently, and maybe messier, but still…at least being there with Leo, he knew he was still alive. At least he had that much."_

"I would not wish for any of you to go through such a thing, Michelangelo," I murmured.

Though I would never say it, in my heart, I too would have preferred Michelangelo to have been with Leonardo during Karai's attack, for I truthfully believed he could have weathered such a thing the best. Raphael was so protective, and kept such careful count of the ways he felt he failed those dear to him, that this would leave a scar in him for far too long. And while Donatello's more rational nature would let him see where Raphael would not that there was nothing else he could have done, I believed his lingering, undeserved insecurities about how his skills matched up to those of his brothers would have him wondering if one of them could have done better in his place.

Michelangelo, though, his was a resilient nature. He bent and adapted faster than his brothers, and while he loved no less fiercely than any of them, he did not cling to his worries the way his brothers could. He was quick to give and accept absolution, and though the fear might have stayed with him, I believed he would have recovered faster than Raphael.

"_That makes two of us. Other than the ulcers, though, we're all fine. Leo's…well, Leo's Leo, which means he totally thinks he's ready to just head back home. And I want him back here—we all do—but…you saw how much that shoulder wound bothered him the first time around, and now he's got that plus a hole in his side, and he's basically wearing his Stoic Leader face all the time now so we can't see how much he hurts."_ A heavy sigh. _"He's probably only gonna use his morphine pump when one of us is there, 'cause he's already off his game from being hurt, and he doesn't want to risk being hurt _and_ loopy around strangers."_

I fought a smile at the longsuffering in my son's voice. "After what has happened with Karai, your brother will likely always be hesitant to trust anyone outside of the family, I'm afraid."

"_It's not just that, it's that he's—we've—been fighting for too long. He doesn't know how to turn off that part of his brain; he's never really gotten a chance to do much other than fight or train or look after us."_

I could not say for sure, but I did not think I was imagining the hint of accusation in Michelangelo's voice…and if it was indeed there, I could not pretend I hadn't earned some censure. I stood by my decision to make Leonardo the leader—I had desperately needed someone on "my side," as it were, to raise so many active young boys on my own, and I knew if I hadn't made a choice, my sons likely would have squabbled among themselves to decide who was on top—but I had come to understand, and regret, the unintended results of that decision over the years. And now it seemed my other sons were seeing those results as well. "I know, my son. I had hoped that this change would be an opportunity for him to lay down his arms, as it were, and the burden of vigilance; it seems I underestimated Karai's determination."

"_I think Leo'd still be having trouble even if Karai hadn't messed things up. It's hard for him to undo that many years of being _chuunin_ first and everything else second…I'm doing what I can to help him with it, though."_

I did not need the reminder that Leonardo had left little time for himself over the years amidst practice and leading his brothers on patrol and in battle; I was well aware of the disparity between Leonardo's duties and his personal time, but it was an awareness I'd gained mostly in recent years, to my shame. For so long, it had been hard to see how much time he devoted to his duties—no, that was inaccurate. In truth, I had not thought to look for ways he was neglecting himself. He led his brothers well, set a good example, and eased some of the burden on me when it came to looking after Michelangelo and the others, and from what I could tell, he was not unhappy with the way things were, so I had simply assumed that he was…content with things.

I assumed, rather foolishly, that if he felt overburdened by his duties, he would tell me.

"I am sure that you will be a good influence on him, Michelangelo." As a father, I couldn't fault the way my youngest son cheerfully pursued the things he enjoyed the most without reservation, even if, as a teacher, I had occasionally wish he'd applied more of that delight to his studies—particularly meditation. "Let no one tell you otherwise."

"_I…thanks, Sensei. I will. Or won't, I guess. Anyway, I think I have to go—since we have to work tomorrow and I'll be bunking with Leo at the hospital tomorrow night, Donnie's making his doctor face at me about getting some sleep. I hope you have a good night—or, wait, day, I mean."_

"You as well, my son. The day dawned quietly and peacefully here, and I hope it will do the same for you. Good night, Michelangelo."

"_G'night, Sensei. Love you."_

"And I love you, my son." I waited for the click as my son hung up before turned my own phone off, lowering the cell to my side with a sigh. My poor sons. Yet another time for me to regret the way that my vendetta, and my master's, had entangled my sons as well. A gentle pressure against my leg drew my attention, and I smiled to see one of the cats industriously kneading my thigh while the other sat primly at my side and blinked at me. I imagined their presence was as much due to the fact that it was time for lunch as it was in reaction to my distress—if not more so—but the gentle thrum of their purring was soothing no matter what had brought them, and the distraction was welcome.

My sons…my sons were beyond my reach, for the time being, but I could at least take care of my new charges, and be glad that they at least were in no danger from the turmoil of my past.

* * *

**A/N: **As always, reviews/concrit/notes about errors are appreciated!


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